Is.
40: 31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they
shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint.
***
Well I did it. I took the six-week free writing course. Yes
it was the one I had sworn never to step foot in again but there was a reason I
went back. I had to prove to myself that I was as stable as I was last year
when all the attacks took place and put me on the outside, looking in.
The assignments were the same: Characterization via your
character, conflict, dialogue, senses, POV, and the finale of a short story.
Whew, what a seven weeks it was. The first week was getting to know people and
the new site, and that was interesting to say the least.
I was locked out of all the classrooms, except one, so the
fun and excitement of the course was wiped right off the slate from the get go.
I met some new folk and caught up with some old who actually accepted my friend
request after last years fiasco. I was feeling welcome until I realized
everyone else had the privilege of running the halls and basking in the
classrooms, getting to comment on others work while I was like a prisoner, a
castoff set aside in the Ripley’s Believe It or Not, to be visited and gawked
at.
This was a test of my stability of mind. I could have flown
off the handle, damned them all to the pits of hell, but lo-and-behold, I kept
my head. I kept my head and acted like a grown woman, and respectfully
continued with the lessons. My classroom was active at first with 22 students
eager to learn and I could not help but wear the mentoring cap that I had
donned for seven or so years prior. I was in the student’s chair and had to
remember that. Even as the mentor only appeared once a week, to give tips and
answer questions, the intern had his/her own college studies to attend to; the
classroom dwindled, while others were as active as week one.
As one week turned into five, I found myself published in
the not so famous ezine, which is really a pick of the best lessons put on
display. This is where I saw others work yet I yearned to see the other
classrooms, my old friends, to be a part of a community, but there I sat, idle
in my classroom, twiddling my thumbs, that had three people left (so many to choose from for the
ezine, eh?) By my fifth week I was
feeling hurt that no one but newcomers (and one old friend) came and read my
lesson, expecting me to do the same to them, but I bit my lip and told maybe two people,
I was a caged bird.
I felt on the inside that all the mentors were well aware of
my status, seeing that many did not want to return because of all the DRAMA that *I* supposedly caused? One mentor, a MAIN asset, bailed on this session and has
told me he may never return, or at least not for a while. Even he was sickened
by the treatment I’d received.
The funny part of all this is, I was not the dramatic one
last session. If my memory serves me correct, I was attacked, they spit
horrible words at me and all wrote the administrator to tell him I had lost it.
So he believing them, set me free from the course, but allowed me to return
this session as a student, but in a locked cage, protecting himself, the
mentors and myself, from BIG BAD ME! Funny isn’t it?
Lesson six, the short story I had in my mind from the get go, Rapunzel, was woven and spun. While my lessons were about another short story I’m writing, Rapunzel was being saved for lesson six. I’d like to post it tomorrow, grammatical errors and all. I just wanted my readers to know, this bird may be caged, but on an eagles wings, I soar!
