I Did It...

Romans 12:1 says, " I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."

Well I went and did it. As you all know, I am in a health crisis at this time and the only thing I look forward to is writing, and coming here to share what I wrote with all of you. I started the new year with a full steam ahead mode, and was enjoying the days of writing until... it happened again. I was let down by the very people I trusted. I was again the victim of bullying by mere acquaintance, and I felt that the leaders (that follow) have no control, or they allow it to happen because they see nothing wrong with the inane behavior, and I’m left standing in the rain with sopping hair and drips of water cascading down my face.


As I always do, I took it to God and asked Him what I need to do to get focused on my writing and helping writers (you my followers), to get these vicious people out of my way. You won’t believe what he said! Well ,He told me to do away with facebook for awhile and the writing sites where I assist, and move on. If those people are really my friends, they know where I am, they know how to contact me. If they care at all, they’ll support me in my task.


Well wouldn’t you know, I deactivated my account on Saturday. And it is now Wednesday and not one person has wrote to me to see if I’m okay or to see what happened. Well my dear friends Sue and June sent me Valentine’s Day cards and made me feel special, as they always do, and Jess wrote me last night asking if I was okay, but the rest of my friends, silence. Friends?


I’ve abandoned the writing sites and figure I’ll leave it to the bullies who manipulate and think they own the site, can do what they want on the site, and are welcomed with open arms into the fold of some sort of deviant behavior. I watch as what I thought were dear friends get sucked into their grasp and support the bullies in every way, shape and form, looking at me as if I have cockroaches for brains.


You see, I’m not easily mislead, and I have no need to appear to be the most popular and friendly person in the world. When I sense EVIL, I don’t play with it, toy around with it, enjoy the company of it; I DELETE it from my life. And if this is what it takes for all the GOOD and promising things to continue to happen in my life, good riddance to the negative that is trying to take me down. I’ll leave them to play and wallow in the bad things happening in their own lives and hopefully they will one day take the blinders off and see it for what it is. But for now, they’re enjoying the ego boost and enjoying the wolves in sheep clothing.


Here it is, Wednesday and already I feel a sense of promise washing over me and lifting me to new heights. I have the innate ability, unlike many, to actually hear God, and I have the strength to listen to Him even if it means giving up many things in my life. He died for me, it is the very least I can do for Him.


I apologize to all those who wanted me to play in the playground, just so you can beat me up. God won’t allow it. Too much has happened in my life to think that life is all about fun and games. I’ll remain Happy-Go-Lucky, chin-up, but it will be with friends whom God himself has chosen to be in my life.


now...onto my WRITING blog...

" and if I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance. And I'd be dancing with myself." ~ Billy Idol

Isolation

Psalms 34:17  The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
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As a writer, I enjoy the quiet still mornings where the only sounds I hear is the refrigerator kicking on and off, the creaks of the bed where slumberers are still resting and the wind gently tapping on the window, stirring my muse.

When I was kid, I would go to the park and that is where I would never be found on a seesaw, or a maypole, or sliding board, I could be seen swinging high into the clouds. I’d go so high, I often imagined that I could fly and sometimes, with my eyes closed, I did. In the air of the swings forward motion, I flew off of the swing and soared above the park and saw all the people below laughing, giggling, inane behavior,  while the grass swayed, the clouds spun and I was free, finally free, until I realized, I was just sitting on a swing.

Even as a child I liked isolating myself from people. Maybe that is why I chose to write at such a young age, because no one really liked me, I had few friends, and life was isolation for me, reading and writing.

I don’t isolate intentionally. One day I’m happy go lucky, then I turn around and I’m alone in my thoughts with words bouncing like ping pong balls off the page. Words in a sea of foam, go crashing front and center and elude me but I catch them and toss them onto paper and then, it happens, I’ve written a thousand words that I didn’t even know were lurking in there.

I have this thing with wanting sincere people around me. Whether online or offline, I like people who are sure of where they are going, know where they have been, and have found that God is the only thing in life that will get them from point A to point B.

I can count my genuine friends on one hand, and that’s if I had a few digits missing. The genuine one’s reach out to me, comfort me, and make me feel loved, the others use words words words to convey their sincerity and to me, it is more hurtful than actually comforting me in my time of need. And most, who claim sincerity, wave me off like butter on a piece of toast.

Isolation to a writer is a place of contemplation. The small things run off the shoulder like water off a gooses back, (Canadian friends inside joke there.) It’s the larger and grander things that aren’t so easy to just let roll. They’re there, and you have to face them, write about them and move forward! So today, as my friends whoop and holler and have a grand old time, I will cherish the ones that embrace me in my isolation, love me in the darkness of the day, and bring sunshine and light to a cloudy day. Thank you!