Grammar Rules to Pay Attention To

7 grammar rules to pay attention to


Written by: Ben Yagoda

Used without permission giving him full credit and promoting

his book: How to Not Write Bad: The Most Common Writing Problems and the Best Ways to Avoid Them

Everyone has grammar issues and I myself am not exempt. I could probably use a refresher course and will more than likely take one, but I’m sharing this article with you because I found it very informative for the writer. ~Joni

Semicolons should be used rarely, if at all. And beware dangling modifiers!

I recently wrote an article for TheWeek.com about bogus grammar "rules" that aren't worth your time. However, there are still plenty of legitimate rules that you should be aware of. Not following them doesn't make you a bad person or even (necessarily) a bad writer. I'm sure that all of them were broken at one point or another by Henry James , Henry Adams , or some other major author named Henry. Moreover, grammar is one of the least pressing problems when it comes to the poor state of writing today. In my new book, How to Not Write Bad: The Most Common Writing Problems and the Best Ways to Avoid Them, things like wordiness, poor word choice, awkwardness, and bad spelling — which have nothing to do with grammar — take up the bulk of my attention.

Nevertheless, anyone who wants to write in a public setting has to be aware of grammar. (And I'm concerned with writing here; talking is a whole different ballgame.) If you make these errors, you're likely to be judged harshly by an editor you want to publish your work; an executive who, you hope, will be impressed enough by your cover letter to hire you; or a reader you want to persuaded by your argument. In each case, there's a pretty easy workaround, so better safe than sorry.

1. The subjunctive

This one is pretty simple. When you're writing about a non-true situation — usually following the word if or the verb wish — the verb to be is rendered as were.

So:

* If I was were a rich man.

* I wish I was were an Oscar Mayer wiener.

* If Hillary Clinton was were president, things would be a whole lot different.

If you are using if for other purposes (hypothetical situations, questions), you don't use the subjunctive.

*The reporter asked him if he were was happy.

* If an intruder were was here last night, he would have left footprints, so let's look at the ground outside.

2. Bad parallelism

This issue comes up most often in lists, for example: My friend made salsa, guacamole, and brought chips. If you start out by having made cover the first two items, it has to cover subsequent ones as well. To fix, you usually have to do just a little rewriting. Thus, My friend made salsa and guacamole and brought chips to go with them.

3. Verb problems

There are a few persistent troublemakers you should be aware of.

* I'm tired, so I need to go lay lie down.

* The fish laid lay on the counter, fileted and ready to broil.

* Honey, I shrunk shrank the kids.

* In a fit of pique, he sunk sank the toy boat.

* He seen saw it coming.

(The last three are examples of verbs where people sometimes switch the past and participle forms. Thus, it would be correct to write: I have shrunk the kids; He had sunk the boat; and He had seen it coming.)

4. Pronoun problems

Let's take a look at three little words. Not "I love you," but me, myself and I. Grammatically, they can be called object, reflexive, and subject. As long as they're by themselves, object and subject don't give anyone problems. That is, no one who's an adult native English speaker would say Me walked to the bus stop or He gave the book to I. For some reason, though, things can get tricky when a pronoun is paired with a noun. We all know people who say things like Me and Fred had lunch together yesterday, instead of Fred and I... Heck, most of us have said it ourselves; for some reason, it comes trippingly off the tongue. We also (most of us) know not to use it in a piece of writing meant to be published. Word to the wise: Don't use it in a job interview, either.

There's a similar attraction to using the subject instead of object. Even Bill Clinton did this back in 1992 when he asked voters to give Al Gore and I [instead of me] a chance to bring America back. Or you might say, Thanks for inviting my wife and I, or between you and I… Some linguists and grammarians have mounted vigorous and interesting defenses of this usage. However, it's still generally considered wrong and should be avoided.

A word that's recently become quite popular is myself — maybe because it seems like a compromise between I and me. But sentences like Myself and my friends went to the mall or They gave special awards to Bill and myself don't wash. Change the first to My friends and I… and the second to Bill and me.

5. The 'dangling' conversation

In a class, I once assigned students to "review" a consumer product. One student chose a bra sold by Victoria's Secret. She wrote:

Sitting in a class or dancing at the bar, the bra performed well…. Though slightly pricey, your breasts will thank you.

The two sentences are both guilty of dangling modifiers because (excuse me if I'm stating the obvious), the bra did not sit in a class or dance at the bar, and "your breasts" are not slightly pricey.

Danglers are inexplicably attractive, and even good writers commit this error a lot … in their first drafts. Here's a strategy for smoking these bad boys out in revision. First, recognize sentences that have this structure: MODIFIER-COMMA-SUBJECT-VERB. Then change the order to: SUBJECT-COMMA-MODIFIER-COMMA-VERB. If the result makes sense, you're good to go. If not, you have a dangler. So in the first sentence above, the rejiggered sentence would be:

The bra, sitting in a class or dancing at a bar, performed well.

Nuh-uh. The solution here, as it often is, is just to add a couple of words: Whether you're sitting in a class or dancing at the bar, the bra performs well.

6. The semicolon

I sometimes say that when you feel like using a semicolon, lay lie down till the urge goes away. But if you just can't resist, remember that there are really only two proper uses for this piece of punctuation. One is to separate two complete clauses (a construction with a subject and verb that could stand on its own as a sentence). I knocked on the door; no one answered. The second is to separate list items that themselves contain punctuation. Thus, The band played Boise, Idaho; Schenectady, New York; and Columbus, Ohio.

Do not use a semicolon in place of a colon, for example, There is only one piece of punctuation that gives Yagoda nightmares; the semicolon.

7. Words

As I noted in my previous article, the meaning of words inevitably and perennially change. And you can get in trouble when you use a meaning that has not yet been widely accepted. Sometimes it's fairly easy to figure out where a word stands in this process. It's become more common to use nonplussed to mean not bothered, or unfazed, but that is more or less the opposite of the traditional meaning, and it's still too early to use it that way when you're writing for publication. (As is spelling unfazed as unphased.) On the other hand, no one thinks anymore that astonish means "turn to stone," and it would be ridiculous to object to anyone who does so. But there are a lot of words and expressions in the middle. Here's one man's list of a few meanings that aren't quite ready for prime time:

* Don't use begs the question. Instead use raises the question.

* Don't use phenomena or criteria as singular. Instead use phenomenon or criterion.

* Don't use cliché as an adjective. Instead use clichéd.

*Don't use comprised of. Instead use composed of/made up of.

* Don't use less for count nouns such people or miles. Instead use fewer.

* Don't use penultimate (unless you mean second to last). Instead use ultimate.

* Don't use lead as past tense of to lead. Instead use led.

I hesitate to state what should be obvious, but sometimes the obvious must be stated. So here goes: Do not use it's, you're or who's when you mean its, your or whose. Or vice versa!

Ben Yagoda is the author of How to Not Write Bad: The Most Common Writing Errors and the Best Ways to Avoid Them and nine other books. He is a Professor of English and Journalism at the University of Delaware. His website is www.benyagoda.com

Word Count!

Exodus 12:49 One law shall be to him that is homeborn, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among you.
***

I think it is so cute as newcomers come into the writing world. They throw caution to the wind, toss guidelines and rules out the window and just plain well do what they want to do.

Here is a gentle reminder to the discussion of WORD COUNT! It is essential in the writing world that we remember to show the word count. No publisher will even glance at your work if you forget to place the word count on the top of the page.

Imagine a publisher asking for 2000 words. He opens his/her email to find there is no word count. Do you know what happens to your submission? It gets TOSSED IN THE TRASH! All that hard work! All the anticipation, all the excitedness tossed in the bin. Why? Because NO WORD COUNT?

You might not think it is important but to a time honored profession, it is! I only push for it in all of my rooms for one reason, if you don't do it in your writing forums/classes/courses then you'll get lazy and not remember to place the word count in when the REAL submission time comes!!!

Also is is essential that you ADHERE to the guidelines. If the publisher, writing group, whatever, asks for a 500 word essay. It is downright rude, clumsy and unprofessional of you to write 1600 words. Sorry, I will not read it at all no matter how good of a writer you are. Not meaning to hurt your feelings in any way, but you didn’t follow the rules.

So please, (I see that some have mistakenly forgotten the word count, then remembered,)  that is fine in a writing course, unacceptable to an editor.  To be honest, before I even attempt to read 5000, 2000, 500 words, I need to see just how many words there are before I dive in! So remember the word count!

Someone said to me, “At least they’re writing, right?” Wrong! I am so happy to see writers writing but to be purposefully disrespectful to a guideline is wrong. Just plain wrong. If you’re taking a class on learning ‘How’ to write, and it takes you seven hundred words to write a paragraph, then look it over, revise it, shine it up and offer something of beauty to your peers. A 500 word guideline is set so you CAN write it right.

Be on your toes! Remember to always respect the guidelines, always double check before submitting and clicking that send button! This will get you in the habit and when submission time comes, you'll actually get your work read!

Word Count Importance

Exodus 12:49 One law shall be to him that is homeborn, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among you.

I think it is so cute as newcomers come into the writing world. They throw caution to the wind, toss guidelines and rules out the window and just plain well do what they want to do.

Here is a gentle reminder to the discussion of WORD COUNT! It is essential in the writing world that we remember to show the word count. No publisher will even glance at your work if you forget to place the word count on the top of the page.

Imagine a publisher asking for 2000 words. He opens his/her email to find there is no word count. Do you know what happens to your submission? It gets TOSSED IN THE TRASH! All that hard work! All the anticipation, all the excitedness tossed in the bin. Why? Because NO WORD COUNT?

You might not think it is important but to a time honored profession, it is! I only push for it in all of my rooms for one reason, if you don't do it in your writing forums/classes/courses then you'll get lazy and not remember to place the word count in when the REAL submission time comes!!!

Also is is essential that you ADHERE to the guidelines. If the publisher, writing group, whatever, asks for a 500 word essay. It is downright rude, clumsy and unprofessional of you to write 1600 words. Sorry, I will not read it at all no matter how good of a writer you are. Not meaning to hurt your feelings in any way, but you didn’t follow the rules.

So please, (I see that some have mistakenly forgotten the word count, then remembered) That is fine in a writing course, unacceptable to an editor. To be honest, before I even attempt to read 5000, 2000, 500 words, I need to see just how many words there are before I dive in. So remember the word count!

Be on your toes! Always double check before submitting and clicking that send button! This will get you in the habit and when submission time comes, you'll actually get your work read.

Write Right folks!

Write Right!

Rules Rules Rules

In writing, we are inundated with rules to follow and often times we get confused with what we’re supposed to do and what is right and acceptable to the editor/reader.

I have many links on the side of this blog on the “how-to’s” to writing but even as I scan through them, I get a little confused with what is right and wrong. One author says to use parentheses to set off a word or phrase, another says parentheses are ‘out’ and that we shouldn’t use them.

What is right? What is wrong?

My first rule of thumb is write it all out and get your story on paper (or on your computer.) Turn the inner editor off and write your heart out, keeping the flow moving along until you feel satisfied with your story.

Then you go back and revise and cut out those excess words that add nothing to the story; they just add redundancy.

Read what is said about proper punctuation, tenses, and structure. Look at your work and see if you’ve followed any of the rules. Hopefully you will have the basic knowledge, enough to get your story in order.

Post your story in a critique group and see what jumps out at them. Some may say, “This doesn’t work.” Don’t let that discourage you! You need to get your confidence built up, so plow ahead. Forge onward and upwards in your writing skills allowing all of the comments received to go in one ear and sink into that brain of yours.

If you get all negative comments, then you’re in the wrong critique group. A good critique group will point out the positives AND the negatives, but never be solely negative. Drink all the comments in like a good cup of coffee and go to work on revising your piece until you are satisfied that it is your very best.

When you show your story/article to the critique room, they will see that all of their advice was adhered to and you’ll get more positive feedback. Don’t bore a critique room with sloppy and unfinished work. A critique room is there for you, to help guide you in the right direction but they can’t do all of the work for you, nor should they be expected to; it is your work.

Now study to your hearts content and get the basics down. Read current author’s and see what they are doing. Notice all of the little subtlety’s, whether it is a comma, brackets or parentheses. See what is the accepted form now not what was used way back when. Things change and with time, elements of writing change. It is wise to know the here and now instead of redoing what was done in the past.

The number one rule in writing? WRITE! Worry about rules later. :-)

Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!

Breaking Rules

I think it is cute when I see a toddler who waddles over to the cupboard door and tries to open it knowing he isn’t supposed to. That is what toddlers do. Most moms are one-up on them though and have placed safety locks on all the doors. This is when the tantrum begins because the toddler kid can’t get his way.

Writers are not toddlers by any means, but they do need someone to tell them, “Hey that’s not the right way to do that.” or maybe in a gentler fashion, “Maybe you could try it this way, may I suggest…?” The writer doesn’t lose his/her temper they just drink in the gained knowledge and move on to better writing. Lesson learned.

That is what you’re supposed to do at least. Learn from what someone tells you or recommends to you. They are the reader and the ones who will be buying your work in print so if they see something slightly off the mark, point it out, then you need to take into consideration that maybe they’re right.

Newcomers to the field of writing think it is cute to break the rules, just like toddlers on their first playpen breakout. They prance around with the, “I can do what I want” attitude. Then as soon as someone corrects them, they run for the hills to bury their head deep in the soil. This isn’t making you out to be a good writer, it’s making you look like an amateur in a field where there is too many big league players ready to take you down, or at least beat you to the submission line.

If you’re going to be a writer, a professional writer, you need to be tough. A thick-skinned writer is like a desert lizard, they can take the heat and they bathe in it too! Just remember that you are not a toddler and that you will continually need to learn and take big sips of the cup of knowledge. Place your hand out into the open air, letting someone grab hold of it as if to guide you. You’ll be thankful that you did and all the more wiser.

Never fear criticism, never fear writing, always embrace the tree of life. It might have splinters but you’ve learned a great deal and will carry the experience with you a lifetime.

Here is some words to chew on:

dalliance (dah-lee-uh ns)
to dawdle
amorous toying: flirtation

halcyon (hal-see-uhn)
1. calm; peaceful; tranquil:
2. rich; wealthy; prosperous:
3. happy; joyful; carefree

miscreant (mis-cree-uh nt)
1. a disbeliever; heretic
2. villain

prevaricate (pri-var-i-cayt)
1. to speak falsely or misleadingly; deliberately misstate or create an incorrect impression; lie.

rectitude (rek-ti-tood)
1. rightness of principle or conduct; moral virtue: the rectitude of her motives.
2. righteous

Fun with Funny Friday

Every family has a blacksheep!

Or white Sheep? Ummm... cow?

Some helpful rules for better writing:

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
11. No sentence fragments.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be ignored.
19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus."It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.

"Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."

The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?"

"Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."

Q. What's the difference between publishers and terrorists?

A. You can negotiate with terrorists.

"I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book."
Groucho Marx

Submission

Submission Time is upon us...

Now that we’ve written the story, we’ve workshopped it with fellow writer’s (or revised it five times to make it perfect) and now we feel it is ready to submit!

First you will search out markets for your work. I would look specifically for where you think your piece of work is going to fit in. Don’t send a child’s story to an erotic magazine, and whatever you do don’t send a teen pregnancy story to a sports editor. In other words, DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

Most publications offer online guidelines for you to follow. It is of the utmost importance that you FOLLOW these guidelines right down to the line. Word for word, check what each one wants and expects from you, the writer.

If they accept 2,000 words, do not think that ONE WORD over the limit is allowed. It isn’t. Don’t surmise that it will look better in a fancy font. It won’t to their eyes! If they ask for 12 pt. Times New Roman , then by all means that is what you will deliver to them.

A lot of times they accept email submissions but in a rtf. format. Again, DO YOUR HOMEWORK and find out what a rtf. format IS. It is a Rich Text Format that makes the work of the editor much easier, and often times that is why they request your story in that format.

Sometimes they want your story in the body of an email, that is what they want, and that is what you will send them. If they want Snail Mail with a S.A.S.E (Self addressed stamped envelope) It is your job to deliver the goods in the form that they require.
You want them to read your work not toss it in the bin. If you fail to adhere to simple guidelines, maybe you aren’t ready to be a serious writer.

Now we’ve submitted, what’s next? Well my friend this is where you will need all the patience of a monk. This is where you wait. My advice? Forget you sent it in and when the acceptance comes in the mail (or rejection) you can say to yourself, "I forgot I even sent that story out!"

But we all know that you will have already made a file for where (and to whom) you’ve submitted and WHEN you’ve submitted. And more than likely you will look at it every day and wind up becoming a nail-biter before the "You’ve Got Mail" voice arrives with an acceptance or rejection.

Sit back, have a drink (preferably green tea) and wait…and wait…and wait some more!
Nooooooo, you start a NEW STORY! That’s what we writer’s do while we wait! Then we have submissions and works in progress going at all times so that we truly DO forget where and when and who and what we’ve sent out into the world. (I’m kidding)

Always have a record of your work! And don’t forget to BACK UP your files! You never know when the great power outage will sweep across America, and at least YOU will have a copy of all of your work!

Or…you can just BLOG!

Write on!

It is okay to be planted, but it is so much nicer when you bloom! ~joni