Poetry Sunday: God's Healing Touch

Pss. 45:1 “My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.”

Shimmering reflections of pain I feel 

Lost in fragments I needed to heal

A mending touch if truth be known

Is in His fingers pressing stone.

By chance, my aches towered then crashed

A mighty sword by flames were dashed

Slicing through with torments rage

Remnants bound in an open cage.

Not being confined by a limited view

My heart beheld all that was true

The night sky opened gems bedazzled

Made whole of me the frail and frazzled.

Armed with faith my body to restore

The strength therein the open door

No longer doomed by fate I’m driven

With all the tools that God has given.

I was blinded by mortal shame

And only had myself to blame 

Shaving off my arrogant pride

Unearthed the healing deep inside.

Once I freed confined vanity

Not veiled behind bent sanity

I relieved myself of the crutch

Bare I found God’s healing touch.

Job 37:23 “Touching the Almighty, we cannot find him out: he is excellent in power, and in judgment, and in plenty of justice: he will not afflict.”

Poetry Sunday ~ Autumn's Gate

Matt. 6:22 "The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."

Autumn's Gate

The pumpkins sit

nestled in the cold

surrounded by dry

leaves gone old.

The empty feeder

lonely and bare

swings to and fro

in autumns air.

The wind lifts death

skyward bound

places it gently on 

the frost-kissed ground.

The season seen

as ill-spent time

the leaf now burrowed

in mud and grime.

The secret's hidden

in the sleeping season

with eyes on the sparrow

gives Spirit new reason.

Matt. 25-26 "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Illness Knows No Bounds

Pss. 67:2 "That thy way may be known upon earth, thy saving health among all nations."

Even the Healthy Get Sick

I just read an article about a young woman age thirty-two who was a vegan, health nut, she exercised daily, non-smoker in her prime, and she has stage four lung cancer.

I pretty much know how I contracted this disease, and knowing is part of the healing. But this young lady has no idea. She was doing everything right and yet, she was still hit by this disease.

To me, this is proof of the toxic world we live in. She ate the right foods, more than likely non-organic because organic is more or less a new thing. She didn’t smoke but was an avid jogger. I imagine the toxins she inhaled jogging daily was worse than smoking five packs of cigarettes a day. She washed her hair, probably dyed it too, she used deodorant and soap put out with chemicals in them. Then she probably drank water either toxic faucet water or water in a plastic bottle. All toxic.

When we think we’re doing the best we can for our health, we’re smacked with the truth that no, we are not doing everything that needs to be done to stay alive. We are not vigilant enough when it comes to our health. We’re vigilant when it comes to posting on Facebook, we’re active when something happens in our nation, we throw our support behind the wrongs and right of society but our health? That takes a back burner while we’re looking the other way, the wolf is sneaking into the den.

We have defiled God’s plan for man and beast!

Psalms 104:14 “He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth;”

Did you read that scripture? At one time, it was the norm for cattle to be raised on grass, herbs were the source of medicine, and oils were the tincture they turned to. Now if someone says they eat grass-fed beef, they’re looked at as if they’re not normal. 

I love it when people say, “I’d die before I gave up ______.” Fill in the blank, is it beef, coffee, sugar? What would you die for before you gave it up? Think about that seriously. Because when death taps you on your shoulder like you’re given a life-altering illness, would you still rather die before giving something up? I wouldn’t rather die. I know some of my posts sound otherwise, but honestly, I do want to live and get this, I’ll DIE TRYING to live! How funny is that? (not haha, ironic)

I’m sure some of you understand the gamut of emotions I must go through in a day, a week or a month but the emotions don’t cling to me and shape my healing. I write about them good or bad, express the inner turmoil, have people nodding their head in agreement because they too are doing everything to stay alive. 

Often when I’m feeling my lowest asking the why’s I’m doing what I’m doing, I’m told from the higher ups that these struggles are to attain the home that they have waiting for me. It’s like they saved me a spot and they want to make sure I get there, but I need to run the race first.

We’re all in this race together. It’s like running a marathon; some are slow, some are fast, some drop out mid way, some collapse from exhaustion but there are a FEW who make the million-mile stretch to the end!

1 Cor. 9:24 “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.”

The Lord doesn’t ask us to give him half of our self, He’d like it if we gave it our all and submitted all of our self. I can’t hammer this truth home hard enough, our bodies are a temple, we should move full steam ahead in treating it as such. Why do we treat infants with gentle loving care? Because they are precious! Why do we tend our gardens with such intimate grace? Because more times than not our gardens are taking care of US! So why would you treat your body any different? Why are your health and life not as precious as an infant or a garden? Let me tell you, IT IS!! Treat it as such and you too will win this race before us. 

1 Cor. 6:19 “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”

Who Would've Thought

Gen 1:29 "And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat."

Who Would’ve Thought?

Who would’ve thought when our mothers were raising us and telling us to ‘eat our vegetables’, that she was really protecting us from the harmful toxins we were putting in our bodies in the process? I bet she didn’t even know why she was telling us other than she knew, ‘vegetables were good for us.’ But she's also the one who used lard for cooking. 

Did you know that the majority of illnesses, MAJORITY of all illnesses are CAUSED from the toxins that we’ve put into our bodies? From Asthma to migraines, from anxiety to depression, from heart disease to cancer, all stem from the toxic food that you and I have put into our bodies and the reaction of illness is from the depletion of healthy antioxidants that aid your immune system in fighting off the enemy of illnesses. What do you think heart disease is caused from? Fats! And type 2 diabetes? For my mother, it was sugar and salt intake.

Drinking water:  

sauerkraut:

fermented foods: 

essential oils: 

Cauliflower Pizza:

Welcome to healthy living:

Sauerkraut fighting cancer?:

Reasons to eat Olives! 

The Truth About Cancer and Vit. C:

Who would’ve thought that when we took our first breath, God already mapped out our life? You want an example? This is MY proof that God had all of this planned for me before I was born, read into what you will. 
On March 23rd, Joni was born on her mother’s birthday. The sixth child, the baby of the family.
Vacation Bible School ruled the summers before entering grade school.
As Joni grew, her first thru eighth grade were spent in a Catholic school where she was molded and groomed. Besides intelligence, her religious element was being shaped.
Enter 9th-grade Christian school a fourteen-year-old Christian emerged born again of clay and further shaping took place. 
The writer was born from childhood—way before ninth grade- more like first grade.
Overcame obstacles of an unhealthy lifestyle and life choices with the help of the Lord. Note: The unhealthy foods I ate all of my life are what created the illness I’m fighting today! Also note: Cancer is man made not God made. 
Today, the benefit of being a writer is still shaping who I become later in life. Without the knowledge of doing research (all good writers do research as a part of presenting the TRUTH to the reader), I would not have the willpower to fight this illness that has taken over my body. I would have succumbed to man.

God KNEW I would be a writer and how I’d use it, along with Him, for my complete healing! Knowledge is POWER! 

Who would’ve thought that our beloved government would be the ones poisoning us? Putting fluoride in our drinking water, allowing pesticide-treated crops to be placed on our dinner table, allowing chemically enhanced meat on our grocery shelves, and allowing insurance and pharmaceutical companies to drain every penny of soldiers, elderly, poor and the sick. By the way, THEY (the government) made everyone sick, to begin with! 

Who would’ve thought that God already knew man would destroy man ever so cunningly and that what was going to happen to mankind in the twenty-first century! And the very reason He had it written in scripture the foods we could eat, the bread we could eat, the meat, the vegetables, the herbs, and spices.

Meat to eat KJV: 

For those who need an easier read ERV: 
Shrimp, lobster, crabs anyone?

Even the BEST of Christians (including myself) defy God’s word. 
Lev. 11: 7 “And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he [is] unclean to you.”
Pork, ham, bacon, sausage anyone? 

To make yourself feel better, this is what the New Testament says about meat. To taste heaven, it doesn't matter what we eat or drink. We don't find favor by our acts, in other words, we can't EARN our way into heaven. Maybe the food we eat doesn't matter for our entering heaven but rest assured, it DOES matter whether we live a healthy life or that of an unhealthy lifestyle. And I believe THAT is the reason we were informed in the Old Testament. Again, you will read into it what you will. 

Who would’ve thought that man would be so defiant? Our overweight western nation is proof that man (and woman) is defiant against what the Lord wanted for us, He knew what we’d need to fight the illnesses and what we’d eventually open our eyes and see as truth. Why does He say so many times, you sleeping nation, you sleeping people, AWAKEN????? Because God KNEW thousands of years ago that we were a defiantly defiled bunch!

Who would’ve thought that He’d use this little lady right here, the writer, the blogger, the Godly woman to bring to you a message? God knew that’s who would’ve known. After all, look who He used to pen the scripture.

Cancer

Pss. 16:9 “Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.”

Cancer

I was going to sugarcoat the title, dress it up for you and try to make it mysterious, but no, I’m all about the blunt truth of the matter. By reading this you more than likely won’t learn anything that you haven’t had a suspicion of at the mere mention of ‘breasts’ and ‘lump’.

I woke yesterday morning at 3:30 am. and knew I wasn’t going back to sleep knowing I had to be at the Dr.’s office by 8:30. I quietly scooted out of bed, allowed my hubby to get a little more sleep because something inside was telling me that this was going to be one of the longest days of my life.

After praying, making coffee, and settling in front the computer, I reflected on what *I* thought today was going to be. Yeah, that was shattered as soon as the doctor examined me! First of all, let me say, I now know why the young mousy looking doctor the day before had the look of serious concern hung on her face and had called this doctor immediately after inspecting my ‘lump’ and set me up this wonderful tell all appointment.

I’m glad she did but I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare and go back to my boring ‘bring God to the people’ life! I guess God wants more, and I’m okay with that, alright?

I have to say, first of all, my little puppy (my left breast) has never received so much attention in my life! It was kneaded like dough the day before and this visit was no different, she wanted to see why a Hershey kiss was wandering around inside the soft dough instead of a little eensy-teensy chocolate chip, if you know what I mean. And worse off she brought an intern in to see what the real deal looked like before they popped it in the oven to be x-rayed under a microscopic crew of people!

This is where I heard the words. I was standing in a long tunnel and she seemed to be whispering, it didn’t help that she looked like the angelic Georgia Engel from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Ironically on the day of MTM's death. 
The sweet voice, murmuring the words, “we’ll be here for you” she whispered, “we’ll get you through this.” My eyes just hazed over and I probably looked like I had just sucked a lemon because I was trying to make out the words as they were slowly coming into focus, the word, the sound -- c- an- cer.

I spat back, “What? How do you know without a mammogram, without tests?” Her eyes, fixated on mine, the tunnel coming back, “Many…women…come here, I know, I feel, I see.” I couldn’t make out one iota of what she was saying. A blur, a fog… I need my husband in here. 

The tears. This is going to be hard to read for the so many women who have been right here where I am; they know, they feel, they see, it hurts. I heard something about work and I proudly stated I was a writer. What kind of writing? Believe it or not, I’m writing, non-fiction, a memoir. Boy this more than likely will be the next chapter, I said via a little chuckle, through the dripping tears. 

My inability to walk, due to arthritis in my back was obvious so they offered me a wheelchair ride to the other side of the hospital for the mammogram, the c-t scan and then onto post op for the lovely ‘biopsy’. I could not have made that journey on my wobbly legs and my heavy sodden heart.

I think I’ll stop here because, this one day, the worst day of my life, warrants more than one post. As you can imagine so much filled that awful darkened day that I need to reflect on all of it before I forget. As if I could ever forget. 

As I wait for the official news, the one where it is verified that I am now on a journey of many women, I’m now one of you, I’m one who will be down the line cheering on other Breast Cancer Survivors. Because... don’t you cry for me, I AM A SURVIVOR! A FIGHTER! A DEFENDER OF GOD! 

All future posts you must read at your own risk, I will be blunt, I will smile, I will laugh and you will see for yourself a woman, who knows, who feels, who sees. 

Prayer, Light, and Love will carry me! God bless you all for journeying with me! 

Pss.20:5 “We will rejoice in thy salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners: the LORD fulfill all thy petitions.”

Pss.21:1 “The king shall joy in thy strength, O LORD; and in thy salvation how greatly shall 

he rejoice."

MTOC ~ Day Four: Mysteries of God

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I should be dead right now. When I was three-years-old my brother and sister were pushing me on a swing when my cries to stop pushing me higher didn’t get them to stop, they continued until I jumped off the swing and flew toward the wire fence, catching my wrist and slicing it like a thanksgiving day turkey. I have the stitches to prove it. I should be dead but I lived.

You’d think that by doing all the drugs I did as a child LSD, PCP, the enormous amount of marijuana, and not to mention my overdose on alcohol would have killed me, but here I am, alive to tell about it. People like me should be dead but here’s the thing, I think God had a plan. I know many of you don’t believe in God, you don’t believe in something greater than yourself and you know why? Because you’re selfish, you think of you. I didn’t mean that to be judgmental, I meant it as an observance on MY healing.

I was not one consumed with myself, I put others before me. Sure I was a bad kid but I always thought of the other people before I thought of healing myself. I turned to God because I had heard he was a great healer and after the loss of my firstborn child (at sixteen) to stillbirth, The Holy Spirit consumed me and helped me during my grief and stayed with me to this day.

When you care for other people, which means you love, you can’t have love in you without God being in you because God IS love. Some people see it that way while others just see love as an emotion. Many religions and spiritual faiths revolve around love. Love is the center and the God of their faith, period.

As dysfunctional as my upbringing was, I never knew what Meth was or heroine, and I NEVER stuck a needle in my arm; in some form, that was my saving grace. At twenty-one years old as I started down the path of change, I watched many ‘friends’ die by making the wrong choice in life. Whether it was by an overdose, a shooting, jail, or trying to reform, death was surrounding me but yet I was alive and breaking free. I didn’t see it as scientific, I know it wasn’t ‘luck’, I never believed in coincidence, the one thing that was left was GOD. God saved me and HE guided me. 

My twenty-year marriage wasn’t ALL that bad as I seem to paint it, we had some pretty good years and the birth of a living son. It was toward the end when we started growing apart instead of growing together. I saw a future in writing. I was witnessing my growth and seeing the impact that God was having on my life. I saw my growth and healing and my ex didn’t want to grow and change for the better, he just wanted to control and obsess. 

So I wound up in Texas after giving up all of my earthly possessions. My husband gave me two weeks to get out of ‘his’ house. I took my son and saw a brighter future for him than the Baltimore streets would have ever allowed.

I had met a stranger online and for ten months we got to know one another on a spiritual level. He wasn’t a George Clooney prince coming to save me, he was more of a John Cusack silent knight in shining armor coming to my emotional rescue. My husband knew he had lost the battle to control me so he let me go and feigned defeat. 

The night before I left, Steven and I went to my sister’s for dinner and to say our goodbyes to the kids. No one showed up except my mother. My sister and I left on bitter terms because I had sat a rock on her precious oak table. I told her my Rock was the reason I had the strength to follow on a path that will lead me away. To this day, I still have the rock, the physical one AND the Spiritual Rock! 

Alone in Texas, I had to redefine myself; learn to love this stranger on what was now a physical level. It didn’t happen immediately and we had to grow to be better people and as a team WE chose God and the church (or did God choose us?) My son, Steven and I all grew together to become one family, united. Again, it was not luck, not science, no coincidence involved, it was something greater and more spiritual that drove us. 

Six growing years in Texas for me when we found a fork in the road called blindness. We had to move to Nebraska and surround ourselves with his family who could empower us to get through a very troubled time. His family is one that had God in their lives instilled early on by grandparents. The light of their ancestry shone round about us as we embarked on this journey. On April 26th, my deceased daughter Astri’s birthday, we sailed (or I drove) off to the safe haven of the Midwest.

Strength washed over us, the Church was our anchor and his family was the boat that drifted us into a safe harbor. Miraculously his sight was restored two and a half years later, prayers were answered and as we anchored ourselves to the shore, six years after we arrived in Nebraska we were united in marriage surrounded by my son and his mother. 

The mysteries of God is there for everyone to behold but again we live in a world where everyone but a few are consumed with themselves; what they can get out of the world, what the world owes them and who is to blame for nothing happening the way they planned. The Mysteries of God are unraveling before me, and the only way for me to relay the story is to fulfill my purpose and my dream and that is to WRITE. 

God Bless you ALL!

Ecc. 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” 

It is finished...the year that is

Baltimore's Inner Harbor

Gen. 2:15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

The year has come and gone in a whirlwind of speed.

As I rip the last calendar month off, I reflect on the year it was. T’was a year of uncertainty, the loss of a dear cousin-in-law and a facebook friend to colon cancer. I think of the sad months and the joyous months also, that I leave behind in a heap of dried leaves left for springtime removal.

I end the year in uncertainty too as I’m not quite sure where I fit into this life anymore. I’m sure my days as an inspirational writer are over. How can I write to inspire when I have nothing to inspire people with? We'll see.

As the New Year rings in at midnight and people will either be glued to their television watching the bane of society dancing and gyrating across their screens, tucked away at some bar chugging in the new year, or huddled in coats and blankets watching the firework shows going off in many cities (like Baltimore) across America. I myself will be fast asleep and won’t wake until six in the morning to see just what went on while I slept.

While horns will be blaring, guns will be shot in the air, pots and pans will be banged on, tooters will be tooting and again, I will be fast asleep as the world rings in a New Year. Do I resent people partying and ringing in a New Year in a fashion that I once, in my youthful years, was an active participant in? Not at all. We all need to celebrate SOMEthing in life and if a New Year beginning is what works for you, don’t you dare judge me for not finding excitement in just another day and night.

As I’ve said earlier, I don’t do resolutions, I no longer party, and as I get older I no longer stay up past midnight for ANY reason. Some people use a holiday, any holiday as an excuse to drink and party it up. In my day, I was one of those zombies. Not any more and I’m grateful for that. I no longer allow alcohol and partying to rule my world.

I guess I grew up somewhere along the line. I became a fuddy-duddy when I was out seeking my soul. I’m still seeking my soul purpose as I’ve always done and it will never end until my time here on earth ends. We’re not born to just diddle and dawdle away our lives, we’re placed here to SEEK. From the very first book in the Holy Bible, Genesis, we were created to be pure and knowing of no evil.

We faltered and fell and it has always been our destiny to seek out and become like the Adam God created, knowing of no evil. While some will linger in evil for their lives, banking on the forgiveness that Christ gives, we are not to be sinners as a rule because of forgiveness, we are to be sinners and know better before sinning again! After begging for forgiveness for a sin committed, we are to turn from that sin, we’re not to commit it over and over again thinking our forgiveness is a get out of jail FREE card.

The soul seeker in me seeks to purify my soul by any means and if that means giving up the wages of sin, if that means walking in the Light instead of the dark, if that means to be the best person God created me to be, then so be it.

Tomorrow I will wake and a new calendar will be in place. A new day will be here for me to embrace and my soul will rejoice in seeking out all that is good in the world. My heart will be light and as fluffy as the newly fallen snow and I will strive to be everything God intended me to be when I was formed. I will not try to be who people expect me to be, I will Be. I will be ME!

Happy New Year to all who celebrate! May blessings abound in this new calendar shift. 

BE SAFE!!!

Apostrophe S

Okay, I’m going to admit it; apostrophe s trips me up daily. Just when I think I’ve got it nailed, I misuse it, and someone QUICKLY calls me on it. So I misuse commas too, but nobody really cares about them; they’ll overlook them but not apostrophes no way!!

I don’t depend on spellcheck but often times I’ll see that squiggly line, fix it to what it recommends, only to have a grammar pro point out I misused the apostrophe S. I’m going to work on just where that comma goes in quotation marks also, but right now I need to work on apostrophe S!

My son said to me last week, “Mom, the apostrophe S shows possession.”

I really need my son to teach me what I learned in grade school? Apparently!

I found this helpful grammar site:  Grammar Book 

Did you know there are THIRTEEN rules of the apostrophe??? Well color me blonde!

I’m going to practice, refresh, if you will:

  

Rule 1

Use the apostrophe with contractions. The apostrophe is always placed at the spot where the letter(s) has been removed.

My example:

It’s – it is

Doesn’t – does not

Isn’t – is not

Rule 2 

Use the apostrophe to show possession. Place the apostrophe before the s to show singular possession.

This is where my confusion begins.

Their example:

one actress's hat
one child's hat
Ms. Chang's house

My example:

Billy’s hat

Mr. Roper’s hat

NOTE: Although names ending in s or an s sound are not required to have the second s added in possessive form, it is preferred.

Their example:

Mr. Jones's golf clubs
Texas's weather
Ms. Straus's daughter

Confused! I was taught that we’d add an apostrophe AFTER the S. See rule FIVE.

Ms. Jones’ house

Texas’ weather

But if I read what Grammar Book is saying, I’m wrong.

  
Rule 3
Use the apostrophe where the noun that should follow is implied.

Their example:

This was his father's, not his, jacket.

My example:
His father’s home never felt like his own.

Rule 4

To show plural possession, make the noun plural first. Then immediately use the apostrophe.

Examples:
two boys' hats two women's hats
two actresses' hats
two children's hats
Okay, there’s the S’ !!! Are they TRYING to confuse us? Is this legal?!? (denote sarcasm)
One more:

Rule 5

Do not use an apostrophe for the plural of a name.

Examples:
We visited the Sanchezes in Los Angeles.
The Changs have two cats and a dog.


I have no examples! I need to go off and drink all of this in. I’ll continue tomorrow with the rest of the confusion. Don’t worry, I’m just refreshing what I THOUGHT I already knew!

ENJOY!

The Flood Waters

Pss. 32: 6 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.

During the ‘no internet’, the isolation and reflection period, the floodwaters were coming downstream. Yes, the Colorado flood waters.

I live about nine miles out from the Platte River, and all this summer the dryness took it’s toll; grass and weeds were filling the sand where there once was a river flowing. From all angles the riverbed was dry as a bone give or take a vein of water here and there, until recently that is.

Riding over the small bridges that spanned the river, our mouths just hung open in awe of the isolated trickle of water that came through disguised as a river. Before the internet cut off I was watching the Colorado flood waters daily on this here web center. The devastation, the beating of water on houses and cars, and knowing, this will all come our way. Maybe not in the essence that it struck Colorado, but it would move east downstream and wind up in the Platte River.

Adam came home from school last week and had said something about his teacher talking about how dangerous the Platte River was at this time. Toxic material was moving its way through and the river was more like a cesspool of refuse. “Do not go in or near the river and definitely do not touch.” he said!

We shrugged it off in disbelief, but by Friday evening I heard for myself on the news (yeah, no internet caused me to actually watch the news on TV) that the Platte was at flood level and Kearney was under a flood watch. The river cuts right through Kearney.

Sure enough, Sundays church visit (we cross the river) showed us the rushing of water downstream! The river was full, full of sludge and overflowed into nearby lake houses. Just as it sounds the houses have a lake in front of them where people in the houses have little paddle boats and whatnot and actually use the lake. I imagine with the overflow of the Platte into their lake, tests will need to be run on the water to see if it is safe to return to the lake as a playing field.

As I saw the water reaching back into a cornfield, I thought of the cows being let out onto the field and thinking the water was safe, but is it, even for pasture cows? I have no idea; I’m not a farm girl, I’m just a city gal making observations.

What was so weird about the observation was it made me think of Noah and last weeks posts. Yeah, I’m still in my reflecting mode and when these things strike me, I write.

The flood of thoughts washed over me, like I imagine Noah being flooded and asked to prepare for a new world. That’s exactly what I was doing, being flooded and told to prepare. No I don’t believe dinosaurs were on the ark, just as I don’t believe polar bears and penguins were asked to leave the arctic to come on down to climb on board the Ark and the flooding of the land.

When disaster strikes we’re asked to prepare well ahead of time, some do and some choose not to. I know losing the internet is no disaster, far from it, but it does cause a flood of emotion to wash over you causing you time to take a dip in the reflecting pool. I wasn’t prepared to be ‘cut off’ from the internet and that is why I had such a sadness when the thought of non-communication struck me like a sudden onslaught of flood waters.

The thought of not reading my online friends for days was like a sand bur hindering my movement. Although my last post before the interruption of service happened, I had said I was going to retreat, meaning a step back to me, but to them, my three day absence was me retreating, a staying away intentionally. Well EGADS! An intentional staying away of my only friends in life? Why I never!

So I’m back with a flood of messages. Not necessarily ‘writing’ posts, but messages of loving and passion! Writing IS my passion and I love my friends. They are a flood of comfort to my isolated soul!

Pss. 69: 2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.

Isolation

Pss.102: 7  I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.

As you all know, or should if you read my blog often enough, I live out in the middle of nowhere. I am in a writers haven; a dream locale with an isolation factor that writers can only dream about living.

Sometimes it’s too isolated leaving me alone with my thoughts; dangerous by all means, my thoughts and me. You would have thought that three days with no internet I would have gotten a lot of writing done but no, didn’t write one thing! I was too worried about if I’d ever connect with the outside world again to want to write.

I live out here on a zillion acre (exaggeration) run down, closed down turkey ranch. To the north of me I have a neighbor who works nights and sleeps days. To the south of me, behind a huge ‘mill’ and shed, I have another neighbor that lives in a trailer. I never see any of them much but I know they’re there.

To the east of me I see a rolling cornfield (what did you expect, it’s Nebraska). In the winter they’ll bring in cows to mow and fertilize the field for next season. To the west of me, you guessed it, another thousand acres of cornfield!

I grew up in Baltimore city and lived in Texas for six years and everything in the city is at your fingertips. The assessable means of living spoil you. If you want a soda (called pop out here in the mid-west) you could run right down the street and grab one. Here, you better have one in the fridge or your plum outta luck, a twenty-mile trek for sure.

How did people out here ever survive, I ask myself? Very humbly, I must say. I have learned why they call this ‘the bible-belt’ that’s for sure. They have nothing but God, His land, corn, His blessing, and football, God’s choice of sport? Wink wink Husker fans!

Living in the middle of nowhere has really taught me a lot about priorities in life. Living in isolation without the internet taught me a few things also. As Adam was grumping all over the place, beau moped even during football, and me, I just played chess to take my mind to a safe calm place. Not that I wasn’t feeling irritable; I just chose to wrap myself in a warm blanket called chess to keep me comforted.

When the internet came back on, Adam had an epiphany, “Now I know why there was no internet, we needed a break, all three of us!” I went on to explain that is what fasting does for the soul, the same feeling he had from no communication with the outside world; the time of reflection, is the exact feeling you get when you fast. He had never understood fasting and me but this weekend he had a light bulb moment!

What message will you walk away with today? Isolation deepens your spiritual journey! It awakens everything in you that sleeps. It carries you on a joyful hayride. Sure there’s the manure lingering, but when you get off the ride, you feel refreshed; cleansed.

Welcome October! Message received!

“Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first.”
~ Wayne Cordeiro

 

 

Retreat

“Ships in the harbor are safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” 

~ John Shedd

I had used the term loosely last week. It means: the act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion. I had written for two weeks straight, post after post and thoughts of new posts were popping in my head like Jiffy Pop popcorn.

The weeklong posts of Truth were very draining on the mind, body, and soul. It took me places I hadn’t thought about because I was safely in a comfort zone, a harbor if you will. I had a second post for Friday, but never got it posted. I guess it just wasn’t necessary to drive it home.

In it I thanked the person who posted that dinosaur stuff on my wall because it made me look deep within myself. In the end, I still didn’t agree with the person, but that’s okay, we’re allowed to think differently. I needed to reflect on the Truth posts I had posted.

The two weeks of posts pretty much talked about addiction to the net, prioritizing and such, and Friday’s culmination of putting the whole puzzle together; we had a God slap moment. That’s the term we use for when it feels like God slaps you upside the head and actually forces you to see just what it is you needed to see.

When I said I would retreat, I just meant pull back, slow down a bit, look around, drink in the beauty and harmonious world around me: cows mooing, leaves falling, winds gusting. It was a seasonal end to all the heat and vibrancy of summer. Summer was falling asleep and autumn was washing over and awakening me.

Normally when I fast, I choose not to eat meat, my choice. I don’t eat much in the way of meat anyway so really I’m fooling myself but not God. But when God hears your plea for a needful peaceful quiet retreat, you best believe He has a way of making you understand; a God-slap moment.

On Friday right before I was going to post my second post, the internet cut out. ‘Okay’ I thought, ‘it’ll be back on soon.’ We waited and waited…and waited. By Monday it was still not on, and didn’t return until 6:15 p.m.! I automatically assumed I just wasn’t meant to post that post.

Being a recovered alcoholic, I knew the signs of withdrawal. Grumpy, irritable, antsy, sweaty palms the works. To keep myself busy, I played chess; probably over a hundred games in three days. I was keeping my head about me.

Adam was angry, my man was ‘trying’ to act all calm, but come Sunday, the anger shot out like a rifle shot seeking a deer to kill! I was irritable but not angry to the extent of lashing out, until the anger was slung at me. Talk about addiction! It was obvious the repercussions of having no internet was having an effect on all of us.

Come Monday and the run around from the internet provider: “Turn off your computer and modem and restart.” Then they said, “We’ll get someone out there NEXT TUESDAY.”  (slaughtered the punctuation on THAT one, eh Deb?) ;)

That’s what they told my man at 9 a.m. but I called in the afternoon and they sang a whole different song. “It’s not YOUR computer, it’s the tower! (the signal bearer) We’re working on it now!”  By 6:15 I heard a scream from behind me as I was washing up dinner dishes planning for a quiet evening of movie watching; Adam was elated!

His IPOD and IPAD didn’t work, so he lost communication to his ‘girlfriend’ in Pa. AND his homework. My man didn’t get to check the stats on his ‘fantasy football’ team, and we had to resort to good old fashioned Bible reading with a, get this, hand-held Bible!

By Sunday I was settling in to this ‘God enforced retreat’, Monday I felt like I had PMS three times over, but I sure got a lot more cleaning of nooks-and-crannies done! I reflected. Two weeks straight of posting and now a quite humbling retreat. This weeks posts will be about what I learned from zoning out!

The Truth Hurts

Pss. 86: 11 Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.

Yes it does.  I still remember being told that Santa Claus was not real. Yeah, I had mean brothers and a sister who didn’t want to see me happy, so when I proclaimed Santa got it for me, they made sure they said loud and clear, “Santa ain’t real!” (Yeah they used the word ain’t)

I didn’t want to believe it. My mother wouldn’t lie to me, would she? Well sure enough, she wasn’t happy with my brothers' way of telling me but she did sit me down and tell me the truth. Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny all lies concocted by some age old myth. Great, my entire life was a lie. Granted I was only six but to me, my life was all a lie. I grew to form my own beliefs, never, and I mean never counting on man to feed me the truth!

Now imagine me as a grown Christian woman, someone telling me that the Bible has ‘some lies’ or untruths in it (lies; untruths, same thing), but ‘most’ of it is true. Well slap me upside the head and color me stupid!

My faith has been built on these truths, or what I have known and been SHOWN to be truths and after being told that, all of my biblical beliefs came crashing down around me and I began digging through the rubble reassessing my ‘beliefs’.

The truth hurts. Have you ever been lied to? It sure doesn’t feel good, nor does it feel good when you find out the truth.

Pss. 32: 8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.

Instead of doubting my faith, I went to God himself and asked for clarification so that I might respond clearly to the attack, as I saw it, of lies about Him and His truth. He guided me to truths about Him and when shown to the person, undoubtedly the person became angry. Mind you they were not MY truths, they were God’s truths.

I didn’t dig for scientific proof, I didn’t sling words to say 'Believe this', I slung it to say, you’ve showed me what YOU believe to be truth, and here is what I believe to be truth.

Truth hurts. I also got a quite intelligent answer from a kid, almost 18 years old. He said, “There are only opinions of one truth.”

“What?” I said.

“Truth is like a tree root, it grows and grows, the branches are the opinions formed from that truth.”

Wow, what a smart kid, I say!

Eph. 3: 17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

Imagine a strong wind coming in and breaking those branches leaving all leaves on it to wither and die. No, I won’t be a branch, I won’t pretend to be a leaf. I choose to be the root and the Son being the Light in which I find my strength to grow.

THAT is my truth. THAT is who I am. I won’t be swayed by science; I won’t be molded by words of men. Science is just an opinion formed by men with supposed intelligence. Remember, science once stated that Pluto was a planet, only for years to pass and then to say it isn’t a planet. What IS the truth?

I tell you this writers, the reader WILL find out for themselves. If you mislead them or try to fool them, they WILL find out. And the truth hurts.

My New Toy

For a couple of days now I’ve tried to upload pics to my blog, to no avail. I’ve sought help but nothing came that was of any value and no help was found. I’m not tech savvy and anyone who knows me knows, I HATE computers, the net, hypocrites and negativity.

Adam told me it was in the server (he’s becoming tech savvy! That’s his plans for his future, Graphic Design.)

Anyway, I wrote to google and as many have said, they never get any kind of response, but I took a shot at submitting my problem to them. (LOL! I submitted, Ben!)

Well I woke this morning and went to see if my ‘scheduled’ blog was posted. Sure enough it was, no pic mind you, but it made it. This is the new toy I speak of. Scheduling post and pic arrangement!

I’ve always posted pics at the top of my blog, but never on the side or within the posting. With a little help from another tech savvy person, I figured it out and got it done! As you can see in a few previous posts, the pic is within the words to the left? Woohoo! Yay me!

I can move them around to the left, to the right, to the top! This is a great accomplishment for me as you can imagine. Not being technologically adept, you can see how something this small can excite me. It’s my new toy to ‘play’ with as I prioritize my time on FB and other social networks.

It has come to my attention that I WOULD be missed if I ‘cut off’ the social scene, sorry for the poor choice of words. (I’m a writer, I should know better!) What I meant to say was, I need to prioritize my time, so that I’m spending more time with my writing dream than I am playing in the playground with my friends. You know what I mean? When your child is spending too much time in his room gaming, don’t you just want to say, get out there and play in the real world?

Well living out here in the middle of nowhere and his school friends being at least 17 miles away, it’s just not an option for him. As for me, my only time to get out IS on FB to meet up with my friends. (Thanks Stena for the reminder!) They are such an inspiration to my writing life, cutting them off would be like severing a finger or something! A gruesome thought!

My other new toy is scheduling posts. I always schedule my poetry Sunday because on Sunday mornings my time is better spent getting ready for church, not worrying about the shenanigans going on at FB. But recently, since the writing bug has bitten me again, I’ve been writing post after post, for two weeks straight now. This is a good sign to me!

I’ve been scheduling them in advance! That is so cool! If the weather knocks out my net, my posts will still arrive. If I lose things because I didn’t back up my files, the post will have a home.

And today as I checked to see if I could post a pic yet, voila! I can! Adam was right (he loved hearing that) maybe it WAS within the server. Well wouldn’t ya know, google has served me well, thank you GOOGLE AND friends!!!

Prioritizing

“The quieter you become the more you are able to hear.” Rumi

Yup, this here is another blog post from none other than, ME. Aren’t you all so lucky!

I have been taking measures to change my online presence and that means prioritizing my time on the web. As you’ve read since the beginning of this month, I’ve been writing blog posts and enjoying writing again in general. So what does that have to do with cutting out certain things on the web?

Well allow me to tell you. First of all, I’m in no popularity contest. The fevered race to be all for everyone while selling myself short. I am me, being a writer, first and foremost. As a child I was never popular or had many friends and maybe that is why I began writing because all my friends were in my head just waiting to be ‘fleshed out’ in the written word.

I joined facebook because it touted, ‘Get connected with your friends from school’. “Wow!” I thought, “I wonder how everyone is doing?” This is to show you how popular I am, not one friend from school has EVER looked me up! So, I decided to ‘friend request’ people from my writing classes. Heck, even most of them don’t want to be seen knowing me.

Most accepted my friend request, only to delete me further down the line. After my attack a few years ago, I HAD to delete a few, to keep my sanity! I know I know, I’m not that sane anyway, but what little I had/have, I want to keep! So the second goal on my agenda is prioritizing whom and who isn’t a true friend, and well look around, their all lining up, don’t ya see?

What was the first goal on my agenda, you might ask? My first goal was getting back to writing. I felt it was sleeping for quite awhile and recently has been awakened with a new passion. But with the passion, along comes obstacles that were around before the break and by prioritizing, I’m hoping to keep the block out of my way so I can accomplish all my goals I’ve set for myself.

Goal #1 – Get back to writing.

Goal #2 – KNOW who your TRUE friends are.

Goal # 3 – Cut the social network time OFF!

Goal # 4 – Prioritize the web usage. Not for fun and popularity contests, for WORK! Writing!

Goal # 5 – This is the biggy!!! Write and submit! Yes, I said submit!!!

It looks to me like I’m on a roll. I’m accomplishing my goals by setting priorities. You do know that by prioritizing that goals are easier to achieve, right? Take me for example, I’m accomplishing four of the goals already, in motion, and I’m improving because of it. Now to tackle number five, and I’m good to go!!!

Godspeed!

NOTE: No PIC? Because blogger is not allowing me to post pics at this time.  No one else is having a problem, but on TWO computers here at home? Nothing. So we’ll see if we can find the bug causing this. Not a tech savvy woman…so wish me luck!

Justification

Ex. 23:7 Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked.

After reading yesterdays post, this one is going to be about justifying my actions. Just like when I drank and thought, ‘It’s okay, I don’t have a problem.’ I DID have a problem, one that needed nipping-in-the-bud. (pun intended here) After all, it made Bud wiser?

Well it made me wise enough to know that alcohol is poison that enters your system and your body fights to restore the normal flow, a defense mechanism, if you will, yes after one sip. No different than a bee sting, a mosquito bite, or snake bite. Your body goes right into fighting to get the poison out of your system. That is why after too many drinks, you throw up, your body knows poison when it enters its system.

Being of sober mind not only means, no alcohol; nowhere does it say, ‘one drink and you’re okay’, in my warped mind. Keep in mind, as a RECOVERED alcoholic, one drink is a fall, a fall I’m not willing to take because we live in a society where everything goes! Everything is justifiable!

I’ve come across a blog that shares what a sober mind is and it’s worth a read. Not about alcohol at all!

Home Living

This post isn’t about alcohol and its poison, it’s about justifying your actions. Yesterdays post about web addiction, and admitting it, was my first step of releasing the poison the web dishes out, and nipping the problem before it gets out of hand.

I DO mostly use the internet for writing and research but too often I find myself straying into social scenes like facebook, and giving too much playtime to my web interactions! Maybe you all are content with that, but I’m not. As I search within myself for a better day-to-day living, something needs to be trimmed so that I realize my full writing potential! I’m not bored with life; I’m in awe of it and think it needs some TLC! I don’t think I have enough friends to even care if I’m away awhile. So no, they WON’T miss me… Maybe two or three, but they’ll have others to cling to and stalk. I’m a mere afterthought; I guess that’s better than no thought at all right?

Social playtime has to be trimmed to posting my blog post, maybe a spirit-filled post, here and there, but just not a continuous flow of posts throughout the day. I think the twitterfeed is set, so that’s a good thing when posting my blog. The only tabs open will be my dictionary/thesaurus, RhymeZone, and MS Word, where I write!

I always seem to get in a reflective mode as the season changes. It’s like Fall is a call to put old baggage to rest; to prioritize; to let the leaves fall where they may, and pile them in a slush pile so winter can do the cleaning of my soul that is necessary.

We can all justify our actions as a means to feeling good about ourselves, but justification is just a warm blanket we carry around like Linus, it’s our safety net. We hide under the blanket masking our true identities. Something gets lost along the way, your vibrant soul! God is my only safety net and justifying my actions is in a sense a betrayal to His plan for my life.

In a world where tuning into the net is full of the news of the day; killing, fires, floods, tsunami’s, hurricanes, and then there’s the lovely political hate filled posts, it’s enough to make you shudder and want to retreat back to bed, there certainly is another way of facing the world’s tragedies and faults, and that is certainly not by justifying the pebbles you ripple across the lake. Those ripples affect EVERYTHING, so choose wisely.

I just want to write!

Submitting to...

...to God

Ha! Now that I’ve got you in here, you’re committing to read the entire post, right?

I’ve written a few posts about submitting your work but have I mentioned submitting to the Lord? Allow me to bore you or enlighten you, won’t you?

When I first began writing or should I say, taking my writing seriously, I felt that it was only by the grace of God I made it to where I was in my writing journey. Keep in mind that Submitting to God is not the same as serving. I’ve always served One God and only one God, and no one had to tell me or ask me to serve, I just did/do it.

Submitting to God is placing your trust in Him to carry you, even your writing. I’m not one to babble on and on about nothing, I like to relay a certain positive message in my writing where you walk away thinking and feeling like you’re that much more informed by what you read.

I was kind of honored when on Facebook an author asked, “Who is your favorite female blogger,” and among many replies there was MY name, Joni Zipp! I’m hoping a frenzy of folk Googled my name, found my blog and also found the inspiration they were looking for! I have submitted to God, so only He can get the credit for where my journey goes. And I pray that that is what you see in me when visiting my blog. God shining through every post!

Here’s another example of the fruits of submitting to God:

Many years ago there was a man named Miles that I met who had no other interests but the net, surfing the net, stuff and junk and me. Many months (almost a year) of being intrigued, we met, in person.

The man wasn’t interested in much except surfing the net, working, and gaming. Even I, in all my beauty couldn’t entice him away. One day (I’m sparing you the lengthy portion of the tale) he submitted to God. His whole life changed and as we sit here today, he is a published author.

Many of you can take an educated guess as to who he is, I’m just telling you, sharing with you, that he is a changed man. Does he still surf the net, game, and work? Yes, all of the above, except there is one difference, since he’s placed God front and center, he now has a purpose, loves writing, loves serving the Lord, and loves me! (Well I think he’s always loved me, but under God’s Light, there’s a different ambience surrounding us.)

He submitted to God and I had the pleasure of watching the metamorphosis take place. Yes, he physically and spiritually went through a life-altering change. From being blind to the miracle of seeing again, from being an ungodly person to a person who proclaimed the Lord as his Savior! Does he still sin? Well of course! Romans 3:23 says: “All have sinned, and come short of the Glory of God.” We change and strive NOT to sin but nonetheless we are ALL sinners.

So when I say, ‘Submit to God’ I’m not telling you as if I’m preaching, rather I’m offering you a suggestion in a way to change a negative atmosphere in your writing journey (or life for that matter) into a positive flow of blessings in your life AND your writing.

See, that wasn’t so bad now was it? If your reading this sentence then you made it through the entire post without running away! Thank you and God bless!

Submit it right?

I have taught for many years now that there is a certain set of guidelines to follow upon submitting a piece of writing. Upon the recent publication of my beau, I had to rethink the rules and guidelines.

You see, he is not a ‘writer’ per se, but he does have TWO blogs that would say otherwise. Me, I’m a writer! I claim to be a writer and my only published works received no commission, and I haven’t been submitting like I should be. I’ve been on the learning/ teaching end.

So what made his submission so different? He wrote a blog post called Children of the Corn. Now mind you, he grew up in the country, a farm here in Gibbon Nebraska. He has many stories of growing up out here in the cornfields, tractors and such. I remember asking him recently, “You’ve never seen a sand castle?” His response was, “Have you ever seen a tractor pull?” Well I can honestly say, being a city gal from the east coast, no, no I have never seen a tractor pull. Touché!

He has no idea where he got the idea of submitting the story. But being on the internet many hours of his day, he came across, Country Living, a magazine, and thought that the Corn story would be a good fit for his Children of the Corn tale. He submitted.

He tells me he sent a request for guidelines, but he also said he didn’t wait for the guidelines, he just sent a word document and didn’t think about it again. As a matter of fact he never even told me that he had sent it. He probably just shrugged it off. He’s like that, just lets things roll off his shoulders, as for me, I would have been waiting month after month for a response/ rejection letter.

Not him, he just let it roll. No fear, no anxiety, nothing. Then when the ‘complimentary copy’ of the magazine came in August and the letter said, “Thank you for contributing.” THAT is when he told me, showed me actually, the publication of his story. He then said, “Oh I sent it way back in January. Didn’t think nothing of it.”

Well la di da! I have been writing all my life, the past ten years I have been really learning the ropes and teaching other writer’s the ropes, and here he is, just sends it off, and poof, published!

My friend said, “He must have had a good teacher.” Wink wink, thinking I showed him? Ha! No Sue, I can’t take credit for that. His high school teacher can and his wonderful upbringing but I feel all I did was inspire him to WRITE.

When I met him ten years ago, he was wrapped up in his work as an Administrative Assistant for UPS and surfing the web but did he write? No, he never did. But as he was going blind, as you can imagine, his internet surfing was getting harder and harder and that is when I told him to maybe try a blog.

Reluctantly, I believe, he tried it. Little by little he wrote more and more and thus were born, Audio book Heaven, an audio book blog where he reviews audio books for the readers, and his Drums in the Deep blog where he tells of his life.

He was blind for three years of his writing his blogs and imagine his excitement when he had a chance to SEE them and reshape and format them the way he wanted and that what you see now, is the finished product. To this day he is still writing! He requests audio books from publishers and now, he doesn’t even need to request, they send them to him!

And on his Drums in the Deep blog, he’s had enough blessings and miracles in his life to keep him busy as an active writer. And now a PUBLISHED author! Way to go!!!

So now my advice is going to change for the entire up and coming community of writer’s. If any thing, HE has taught ME!

Just send it and forget it.

Keep it a secret that you’ve submitted (I don’t advocate keeping secrets because to me, that is a form of lying, but in this instance, when it comes to submitting your work, TELL NO ONE!)

Keep in mind, you might send a thousand words, and they are at liberty to chop your work to pieces. Steven’s was chopped from 803 words down to 250, but get this, he didn’t know it was $1 a word!!! And as you can imagine his surprise by the $250 dollar check he got in the mail!

I think the number one thing I learned was to market your work to a magazine that fits your story. Don’t submit a Children of the Corn Story to City Living. It won’t sell. Country Living was a perfect place for his story, THAT is why they took it.

He had received a letter that said he could order additional copies but it only said, “IF the submission qualified for payment, a check would be in the mail.” They never informed him IF it qualified but apparently it did. What qualified it? More than likely it was because it was an original story, not a reprint, or previously submitted work and it fit right in the magazine. Just a guess.

Either way, Congratulations Steven on becoming an officially PUBLISHED author/writer!!!