Working Through Stress

Lam 3:23 “They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”

Working Through Stress

Wow, what a difference a week makes. I’ve been on a stress relieving kick for some time now and some things I didn’t even know were stress came to a head. Like a pus filled pimple, I felt it surfacing and last week it burst, stress sprayed all over the place and now this week I’m cleaning up the mess it left behind so I can move forward.

For starters, my son- Since last December when the business my son was working at closed down, my son began the hunt for a job. K-Mart was to be his first job and the only place that would give him a chance seeing that he had zero experience. He is a twenty-one-year-old young man with a complete mind of his own and with that mind he has the gamut of emotions that he’s carried through life from anxiety, depression, insomnia the whole kit and kaboodle. After numerous (I’d say hundreds) applications and no calls he broke down and applied at the place his step dad works. Not his first choice but he succumbed to defeat.
Last week, HyVee called him, he went in for an interview and got the job. They offered him part-time fifteen to twenty hours a week. He worked five hours last Wednesday and was scheduled for fifteen more hours starting this Wednesday-tomorrow! Don’t worry it wasn’t in the same department as my hubby and his hours would be nighttime, hubby’s hours are early morning. He’d take the job because he was desperate. 
The next day another job called him and he declined because he had this job. But then it happened, the job he really wanted called him, he jumped at the chance for an interview. They liked him, hired him; Saturday and Monday he was with them doing the technicalities of the hiring process. This job has forty hours a week and more money than the food store, and a medical package too in sixty days. Excitement overflowed but then there was the anxiety of having to quit the other job. This is his journey and I’ll go no further.
Needless to say, when a mother sees her child struggling, the stress is real. Unneeded stress during this time for me but it is very real. Like God does for us kids, He offers himself to us but He doesn’t come into our lives and do all the work for us. I had to watch my son wiggle and squirm as I stood by as the support he’d need but this was something that he and he alone would have to do as the new adult he's become. He’s moving forward in life and that in itself is a bundle of stress for the both of us.

Cannabis oil – Yes, I’m seeking avenues for this curative medicine. My niece has put me in contact with people who are covered by lawyers but money will be my hindrance. It’s okay though because I’m allowing the Lord, myself and my supplements to do their work before I reach out and make the CBD oil happen for me. I’m not at a desperate place yet and have no plans to be but it is good to know that the opportunity is out there waiting for me to tap into.

My GP doctor – Stress is surrounding me in wanting to make an appointment and not wanting to make an appointment. She is leaving in July and I was waiting for my hubby’s eye doctor appointment to be over before I made my GP appointment. I can’t have him missing work in an already short part-time schedule. He’s willing to miss work for me but I need him to get taken care of too. 

Hubby’s Eye Doctor – This was a check-up that he didn’t have last year because of circumstances ie: weather, a change in the doctor’s schedule (he went from coming to our area from Omaha on Thursday’s to coming on Monday’s). Finally, this appointment happened. He went on and on telling us how this success story was pure luck, one in a hundred he said where someone goes from being completely blind to seeing again. Hubby said, “If luck is what you want to call it.” I could see his mind in there thanking the Lord for this MIRACLE, not a stroke of luck.
Anyway, the doctor went on to say that he wouldn’t be coming to our area anymore and that he would be turning hubby over to a new doctor. A sad moment and tears welled in my eyes before the doctor stepped out saying his good-byes. Doctor’s  seem to emotionally disconnect from the patients but it wasn’t so easy for me, or my hubby. Hubby didn’t bawl his eyes out like me, my eyes would not stop leaking. This entire year has been an emotional roller-coaster and this was the icing on the cake so to speak, my emotions of the culmination of stress were released through drippings of tears (not sobs). I let it go.
I thought it had been four years but I miscounted. Hubby had been under this doctor’s care for six years. From cornea transplant to eye removal, to infections to healing this was a powerful relationship coming to an end in a swift blow. I made a swift dart to the front door after hugging the assistant who has also been there for us over these years. * poof * 

The washer – For a couple of years now our washing machine (a GE I might add) has been going on the fritz and two weeks ago it had its last spin. We’ve repaired the wounded soldier over the years but this time we checked into it and the repair would be more costly than a new one. The poor old gal was 14 years old. We laid her to rest and used a ‘for emergency’s only credit card’ to purchase another GE washer. The cheapest one they had but brand spanking new to me. The nearest laundry mat is over twenty miles away so that was never really an option. Just the cost of gas and the cost of using the place weekly would cost more than a new machine. 
The stress never ends….

The dentist -  Hubby has been suffering for MONTHS needing to see a dentist but I had my needed medical attention so he put his on hold. I’m putting my GP visit on hold until he gets this problem looked at so that’s where we are. The stress is coming and going in ripples on the shoreline. I’m strong, I’m alive and I’m THRIVING. I can’t say the same for his aunt who is more than likely on her last week of life, succumbing to this disease. THAT will NOT be me!!!! 

While some may laugh and scoff at my choice in moving FORWARD not succumbing to the slice, dice and poison method. I choose to THRIVE, BE ALIVE, BLOSSOM, and SHINE! Healing is in the palm of my hand! I work through this stress that bombards me daily, with God by my side.  

All praise and Glory to my God!  

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.”

 ~ Charles Swindoll

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” 

~ Theodore Roosevelt

Shopping For Food

Pss. 105:35 “And did eat up all the herbs in their land, and devoured the fruit of their ground.”

Shopping For Food

Shopping for food has become quite an adventure. In the beginning of my diagnosis with this dreaded disease, I would leave the food store in tears. Well, our food store is really a Super WalMart so there is more than food I’m contending with there.

I stopped food shopping completely a few years ago because of my arthritis in my back and the inability to walk very well. Since I’ve been diagnosed with my THIRD illness, my exercise and supplement intake have been upped, relieving a lot of my arthritis pain and slowly healing my psoriasis. Is what I’m doing healing all three illnesses? I have no idea and can only watch and listen to my instincts and what my body is telling me.

WalMart is filled with scooters, in-a-hurry people, a me-first society, and the unhealthy foods that line the grocery section of the store. Why would anybody struggling with an illness put themselves through the torturous experience of wading through a store like that? Me, I like to challenge myself so I can physically feel and see the healing that needs to take place. Sitting at home on the computer sure isn’t going to have me find a healing place in my life.

The first days of my diagnosis I kicked into a life-saving mode and altered my diet immediately. My niece had told me no sugar, carbs, dairy, grains, so those elements were eliminated immediately as I researched the why’s of the no sugar, no carb diet for the C. She could only tell me so much via messenger. While I went into life-saving mode she started the fund to help me with the supplementation I would need over, basically, the rest of my life.

These were the days filled with tears for obvious reasons and at my food shopping excursions. I couldn’t find anything healthy to eat so I just grabbed organic fruit and carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower. My friends kicked into save-Joni’s-life mode and were sending me money to help with supplements. (so grateful) 

Looking back, I started off with minimal supplementation of two or three and now I’m taking twenty supplements a day. For those concerned with the toxicity of my supplementation intake, nothing is more toxic than chemo and drugs, and the vitamins I’m taking are only toxic when combined WITH pharmaceutical drugs. I take nothing from pharma so I’m good! I have done my research on every single vitamin in my arsenal and ALL are used to combat the Big C along with the drastic change in diet. I am working on a post of all my supplements and I want to provide links to them so you can imagine what is taking so long in putting THAT post together.

This week when I went to Wal Mart, I not only had to contend with food purchases I had to buy me shorts and shortie pajama’s because NOTHING fits me anymore. I now fit into a small (Wally World caters to the 2x and 3x crowd) and that was hard digging through to find something that fit. Many of my summer clothes are from my days in Texas well over eight years ago. As for my jammies, many were brought from back home fourteen years ago and to my surprise (not really) after not being used for such a long time, I found them quite brittle (dry rotted) to the touch.

I was at a comfortable 147 lbs. (size 7-8) on Jan. 25 and am now weighing in at 115 lbs. (size 4)! Who knew exercise and eating right could shed pounds like flaky dry skin? Oh and I’m shedding THAT too! 

I now look forward to food shopping as I scan for the frozen berries to make a morning smoothie, or dig through the tiny organic produce section, I use coconut milk for my smoothies and coconut oil for cooking my food. I now allow grass fed chicken and eggs, (hubby’s work has a grass fed oregano chicken sausage), salmon topped with onions, peppers and sauerkraut, fruits and veggies galore and I also allow a low carb gluten free flatbread to make me chicken wraps! I’m feeling the best I have in years!

I’ve recently learned of the healing qualities for my psoriasis in Tea Tree Oil. I’ve had to purchase (costly to me) new shampoo and conditioner and just after the second day of use I could see and FEEL the difference in my scalp. It isn’t only the Big C I’m fighting using supplements and diet, I also need to tend to my psoriasis and arthritis so that meant a change in EVERYTHING. I now use Aloe Vera body wash, I’ve changed my deodorant to a chemical-free variety, and my drinking water is now the purified variety. The water is only .39 cents a gallon so that isn’t too costly. V-8 Berry Bliss for a sweet morning drink and green tea as a nightly regimen.

I’m slowly eliminating all stress in my world. One step was I eliminated over a hundred emails I’ve already read through as they started to cause a wave of confusion in this battle as I’m learning something new every day. The do this, do that, try this, try that days are calming down and now I’m just coasting with what knowledge is in front of me.

My husband wanted to buy me a cute shirt with the American flag on it and I said, “No, I’m not really proud of my country right now at this time.” Apparently, Flag Day went unnoticed by the majority of my Facebook friends who normally flood the walls with pride in their country. With so many holidays, you never know WHAT to celebrate these days.

As of right now, I celebrate LIFE and the love of God. I cling to hope of a future. I don’t see myself as sick, I always see myself as HEALTHY and AWARE and maybe with that mindset, that is my saving grace. I WILL obtain the Sacred Plant when God is good and ready for me to have it, right now, God and I are happy with my health and supplements and moving forward to healing pastures. 

Matt. 13:32 “Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.”

I am grateful for friendships old and new. I am gratified for the chance to work with God in healing myself. I am honored to be a part of a Spiritual community of love surrounding me and I will never forget the endearing love they exhibit toward me as I go on. 

Thank you all and God Bless!

Isa. 18:4 “For so the LORD said unto me, I will take my rest, and I will consider in my dwelling place like a clear heat upon herbs, and like a cloud of dew in the heat of harvest.”