Too Much to Handle?

Pss.118: 17 “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.”

Too much to handle?

What God has done for me…

I’ve never really been a fan of the fictional Super Heroes of the comic world or of the TV/movie world; it’s just not my thing. I’ve always admired the real heroes of the world that took great steps in saving/rescuing/training or changing the people of the world that walks around with blinders on bumping into wall after wall.

The real heroes are the ones with an uncanny strength that endures the prickliest of situations. They walk amid the cactus without getting pricked, they see the rose not the thorn, they hear the Word, not the world; those are the real heroes.

I never saw myself as one of those heroes, that is until…this Lenten season lent me clarity of something and now I see differently. I look around at people who say they are going to diet or give something up and fail in epic proportions after just a month of forgoing the very reason they started the diet in the first place. Their strength is weakened by temptation.

I watch as addictions pull tighter and tighter on the purse strings. I had to watch first hand as my husband wrestled with giving up sugar, Pepsi, and other addictions only to be pulled right back in within two months. I’m not the type of woman who lays demands at my husband’s feet and says change this or else, I don’t judge others for trying something and failing, all I can do is give them a sight of what successfully overcoming the temptations looks like, and sit and watch them walk or fall. 

I realized something this month, I have the strength of a T-Rex and the weakness of the T-Rex with its small little arms unable to reach the very ground he walks. I have the gentleness of a Brontosaurus that sees herbs, leaves, and plants as the nutrition of choice. I also feel that the likes of me are extinct in nature and I forage looking for someone, something, anything that shares my determination to live. People are remiss in understanding the strength needed to survive in this world today. They give up all too easily or turn a blind eye, puffing themselves up literally and metaphorically.

You might say that I’ve not always been this strong and you’d be wrong. I didn’t realize it when I was young of course because I was too busy surviving. I didn’t just one day ‘decide’ to be strong, give something up, take the road less traveled, this was my nature from my very beginning. I think I only just realized my strength, in seeing others falter over and over and unable to show very little semblance of strength. 

Okay, where did my strength come from? I can only attribute the unending strength of God Himself. I hear over and over that ‘God never gives you more than you can handle.’ That little piece of solace is based on:

KJV: 1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” 

ESV: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

AMP version simplified for you: “No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].

I believe that God does give you MORE than you can handle and this is where your strength is built up and sustained but notice also … “but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

I look back at my life; psoriasis arrived on the scene at around fourteen about the same time I converted from Catholicism to Christianity. Tempted by the wiles of men and alcohol, one man in particular whom I ended up marrying and staying married to for twenty years. At twenty-one, the legal age to drink, I gave up alcohol and further pursued the God who ‘provided a way out’ so I was ‘able to endure’ the path or what I like to deem ‘the road less traveled’! 

At thirty-seven, God was pulling me in a different direction. He had seen that not only had I endured but all the trying to save those around me I had done failed. He then called me to a completely different set of surroundings but I’d have to give up ALL of my possessions, save for my child, clothes and a few writings and odds and ends, that was it. I followed. The length of His arm was all that I had to strengthen me and it was enough to carry me over one thousand miles away.

Six years of reflection, healing, and growth were my years in the Texas sun. Then we were called to the center of the United States in the form of the heartland in the Midwest called Nebraska. It was here that my husband went blind, and had his sight restored two-and-a-half years later. It is here where I grew in strength for my Lord and Savior, feeding off the purity of souls that He surrounded me with physically and virtually. It is here where arthritis appeared and my body weakened but my strength kept growing and growing.

I thought I had had ‘more than I could handle’ but God poured out a little more in way of the life-changing diagnosis of Cancer. Yup, the Big C is what I was now dished out to overcome and strengthen myself with. I thought for sure I had met my end but God assured me that it was only the beginning of His plan! What was even bigger was that He asked me to trust in Him and not man to be the Almighty Healer that He is! This is where many people say, ‘C’mon now, that is just too far! God would never do that!’ Well, guess what people, He did, to ME! He gave me MORE than I could handle!

Now the task in front of me was to trust in Him [not man], lean not on my own understanding [ego], and use the very talents I was given [writing and research] as a tool in building an even stronger me. Onward I go, fast after fast, feast after feast, sight after site, [yes you read that right], and person after person I will change as I grow and hopefully teach them a lesson they can carry with them as they too are given ‘more than they can handle’. I am now a hundred pound weakling overcoming the impossible with the strength of David fighting the massive Goliath.

As I watch the weakened fall, I hand you strength to carry on in Him who is the Almighty Healer with an arm and hand stretched out to you and all you have to do is surrender your ALL [not just small portions ie: I’ll give up this but not that]. I believe it is at that time where you’re given too much to handle that you will find YOUR strength in enduring what God can do for you. 

1 Chron. 16:34 “O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.”

The Month I LOVE

Col 2:16-17 "Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:Which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ."

The Month I LOVE

The beginning of Lent starts, ironically on February 14th, the day of LOVE! You might ask why I care if I’m not Catholic, well I blogged about this over the years, Lent is a Christian holy season, not just a Catholic season. Ash Wednesday begins the Catholic celebration of Lent on the same day. 

Matt. 4: 1-4 "Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.   And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.  And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”  But he answered, “It is written,

“‘Man shall not live by bread alone,

    but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

For the past ten years or so I’ve fasted for Lent, not always giving up food, usually giving up meat, but this year I can’t do that because I’ve basically given up meat completely because of this disease.As in years past, I prayerfully ask for what I’m to give up this year, this is MY honor and respect to Him. This is MY ritual that you can laugh and tease me about. Every one of us praise, honor and worship differently, and this is one thing I somewhat have control over. Either I fast or I don't. It is totally my choice.

I feel I’ve been given my answer. With Google strong-arming the web searches I used for researching alternative treatments, and with their compadres Facebook being the schoolmarm, waving their ruler around correcting me with their sidekick Snopes (phony) fact checker, I feel more bullied than ever.

I think I’m being led by the Spirit into the wilderness, unknown terrain. It’s not unknown that I have a disease of a lifetime. I have my Spiritual family with their supporting arms all around me so the bullying tactic of the elitist might raise my blood pressure a bit, but it will not break me! I am not swayed by money, I cannot be broken by power, but my words are being noticed by someone to go as far as to flag an informative post, while other 'for the government' post get by with no problem. What a joke facebook has become. No longer a place for family and friends to get together.  

For Lent, if I give up posting my blog or sharing my journey on Facebook that will give the higher-ups the appearance that they’ve won. I don’t think Goliath knows me but they will. I may be small but my God is mightier than any earthly power, (and unearthly power for that matter.)

After February 14th I will retreat, an unnamed sabbatical will begin. I just need my friends to understand and respect this journey of mine. As they have always done in the past, they have given me nothing but the utmost respect, and support that’s why I keep them close. They make me laugh, smile and feel comfortable about this craggy journey. They let me know I’m not alone and never will be. 

While Lent will be signified by the day of love, Easter Sunday will be signified by the day of fools. How ironic is that? Lent begins February 14th, Valentine’s Day, Easter is on April 1st, April Fool’s Day! Now the jesters and jokesters of the world can have a field day mocking Christ, yet again.

Me, the little one, will be celebrating my New Year on April first. It is my marked significance of new life, a new beginning. I will rise from my dormancy healthier, wealthier and wiser. All praise and Glory to God, my God, whom hopefully I share with you.

I will not run, I will not stray, I most definitely will not fear!I am so done trying to mold my protocol to the likes of the naysayers who don't believe in anything but false idols. I may be quiet for a bit, a much needed time of reflection, a time to put in perspective the long journey I’ve left behind me and the new unchartered journey I walk forward into. My body has been put through the wringer. It doesn’t show to those who only read my words, it doesn't show in the smiles I give to people, but it shows when I look in the mirror or when I lay my head down for a long deserved nights rest. I feel it crawling slowly through my pained tendons and I’m left exhausted at the end of the day. When negativity seeps in, my tumor literally throbs! This is why I need negativity, and all of the harsh disagreeing with me as far away from me as possible.

Each morning I wake, refreshed ready to make the most of every breath in the day, and tackle whatever is thrown at me, with the slingshot in hand. This week it was mud where I never expected it to come from, Google, Facebook, and Snopes. I have to ignore the bullies, for now, I have too much work to do to be bothered by the negativity of the Giants of the world. 

I will move forward never looking back at what I leave behind in my dust. I’m on the right path and my Father has assured me, daily, that He is with me all the way…as well as my Spiritual Family cheering me on from a distance but always close in heart!

2 Tim. 1:3 “I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;”