The WINDS of Change

“The trouble is not really in being alone, it's being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don't you think?”
~ Christine Feehan

Waving Hi, from the windy state of Nebraska. Sure Chicago can claim “the Windy City” but I am here to unofficially lay claim to the name Windy State of Nebraska! As weather forecasters will lie to you and say, it’s going to be breezy, I’m here to say, 25mph sustained WINDS with gusts to 45mph does not make it ‘breezy’; where I come from (Baltimore, Md.) that is downright WINDY!

The winds have been sustained for more than a week now, I’m sure of that, which hinders any time in the garden even though I’m loving the cool temps. Last week we had record-breaking heat with temps reaching 97 and in some places 100-104! A few days before that we had SNOWFALL and today it is struggling to reach 60!

These crazy weather shifts gives rise to tornadoes and some storm-wreaking havoc. It’s made me think of the winds of change sweeping over my life as well as this lovely state of Nebraska. Living out here in isolation – yes, a closed down turkey ranch with one other house is sheer isolation for me. While I love the beauty, solitude and quietness of the place, it sure can elicit a solid empty feeling of loneliness.

An overly friendly person I am, who sees the outside physical world maybe once every two or three weeks (that being a trip to the food store or church, twenty miles away from my house) can sometimes feel the isolation as smothering. This is where my writing garden comes into play. And to think ten years ago I never TOUCHED a computer, I have now taken up one of my beau’s famed addictions and that is, life on the computer!

In this windowed world, there is no wind! There is a collage of friendships to be had and thus I find myself clinging to the writing world and the sites that have anything to do with writing, and the daily dose of facebook, mind you.

THIS is why I chose to dive headfirst into f2k again. Even IT has taken on the winds of change. Once a free writing course, now a FEE writing course, which will enable serious writer’s to take the plunge into the writing frenzy that they so desire. F2K is the birth of a silent muse. That’s right folks, as your muse lay dormant, f2k can fire up the silence with seven weeks of active writing.

Whether it is making new friends, feedbacking and critiquing others, f2k is the place to put your money where your words are. You’ll suddenly feel the winds of change in everything from writing, confidence, all the way through to a finished short story.

You too will see why I find inspiration in a fallen tree (due to winds), sprouting seeds, flowers bursting forth, the aroma of newly fallen rain (when we get it) and the humming of tractors to the hissing of pivots making their rounds.

Isolation can bring about the winds of change, as well as a lost feeling of loneliness but that is why my only ties to the enormous outside world lay right here…at my fingertips.

“Lingering is so very lonely when one lingers all alone.”
~ Mervyn Peake

The Writing Garden

It’s been a while since I’ve had a post on writing. It’s because I haven’t watered my garden lately and feel since it is spring/summer, it is high time I get to watering.

Have you ever hit a writing slump, where you want to be writing but then nothing happens? You sit day after day tapping on the keys, then you realize nothing really makes sense of what you wrote? That could be considered writer’s block, but wait, no it can’t because you did write it just didn’t sound right or make any sense.

Here in Nebraska we get very little rain. That depresses me because I love the rain and cool weather. My whole body responds and I get a lot more writing done that makes perfect logical sense. When it’s dry and you go from winter and jump right into summer with ninety-degree days, my body shuts down. The sun is scorching the land and my body responds with aches and pains I didn’t feel in the cool crisp weather.

Here’s what I noticed: We recently got out and planted our garden. Seeds sprinkled here, plants positioned there and the garden now needs tending. Miss one day of watering and a droop falls over the plants as if hanging their head low wanting to be refreshed.

Writing is a lot like that; you’ve planted the seeds whether in your heart and soul, or on the blank page. You’re all set to sit down and tap away. Blank, you draw a blank. Water, you need water, you’re in the drooping phase of your writing garden, and you need nurturing.

Slap me upside the head with a wet rag, I’ve decided to spark my muse with a little watering from an f2k session again. F2K WAS a free course, but now it is offered at a ten dollar fee, a sixty day membership with WVU, and a book Pumping Your Muse, by Donna Sunblad, author and member of WVU.

It is free to members, which I am a lifetime member so it is free to me. It looks like a promising session since a lot of the people who signed up for the FREE course, really just came to see what it was all about and soon would leave when they knew there was work involved in writing. Yes people, writing involves work, just as tending a garden.

Writer’s Village University, WVU, is a writing school that I began studying at many years ago. It has helped me tend my garden of writing. Sure I’ve had ups and downs throughout the course of my stay but really there has been more ups than downs.

I am no longer a mentor which gives me hope in a promising course after being told I would be allowed full access to all the classrooms, not just sitting in a lone room, where visitors would pop in, and classmates would dwindle. This session when the class gets low, I can actually roam the halls and visit other rooms and comment and help writer’s as I’ve been known to do in years past.

There is always hope in the Garden of Writing. I’m sure I’ll keep you abreast of what is happening and how it’s all going, so stay tuned…the garden will soon be in full bloom soon.

A New Beginning

EmBARKing on something new...

Well tomorrow starts a new leg of MY journey. It’s kind of ironic being on this side of the fence, a student? Wow, I forgot about all the excitement and anxiety I felt before the first day of class. This is a new beginning for me and I’m off to a good start.

I’m still on the assistance end of the fence too. One leg hanging over the assistants’ side, one leg dangling over the newcomers side as a student. Can one be split in two and carry both, walking the fine line of student, assistant? Can I straddle the fence for the duration of the course? I know me, all to well. I am a mentor at heart so will I cross the line and help when I’m supposed to be a student in the learning mode?

I’m looking forward to the class with new expectancy. I won’t be sidetracked with the others immature behavior, I’d like to stay on track and be the professional that I’ve become over the years. The NEW site actually has THREE tabs to click, HOME, WORK, PLAY. Just as the tabs say, one is HOME, where info, rules and guidelines are. WORK, is where the classrooms are, FAQ’s and a Café! And PLAY is where you can play on a facebook style social wall.

As with EVERY session, people enter the site, never read the FAQ’s, and ask, “Where is my classroom?” I do understand that newcomers are new to the site and many times new to the writing world, but it seems to me, you’d look around and read all the pertinent information FIRST. It is where you’d find out 1) classrooms are not open yet and will be assigned when the course begins. 2) Where the profile pages are and how to go about getting an avatar. (google images) 3) That just by registering for the site, registers you for the course!

F2k has two sites. The old ugly brown beige looking one (on my screen), and the NEW site which is a light gray, clean-shaven looking page! People are sent an invite weeks before hand with a link to the new course beginning, and still people enter the OLD site, asking where the classrooms are and when do they begin. On that social wall, there is the link, over and over, to register for the new site, and yes it automatically registers you for the class. But you still get, on the new site, “where are the classrooms.”

A funny lot, inquisitive writers are. It’s as if they jump, without looking to see if there is a safe landing spot beneath them first. Jump into the water, without the curiosity of possible sharks wandering around? Really? Jump in, I say, the water is nice and warm, read first all you can, THEN ask a question that might not have been covered.

As I embark on this new phase, I have harpooned the sharks. I have made new friends and have met up with some dear old ones, that are true. I’ve learned an awful lot this year that has flew by and one thing I will never forget is that, you can always begin again. It’s like Tolkien said, There and Back again. But you knew that, right? Because you read Lord of the Rings? READ before jumping. Begin a new phase, not with blinders on, but with WINGS wide open!!!

Back in the Saddle

Matt: 16:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

Well I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I’ve decided to come back to my writing blog to teach you what I know of writing. With many of my friends encouraging me to continue and much support of my friends edging me forward into this writing journey I’m on, I felt it was time to jump back in and write.

The bad news, well there really isn’t any bad news. My coming back is a good thing and will be beneficial to you all.

My first step to getting back in the saddle was a long break from the writing sites that I was affiliated with, f2k and WVU. I’ve slowly backed away, I paused, prayed, and a lot of meditation and thought went into my return.

The second step was forgiveness. A cleansing of my spirit washed over me. I cleaned the darkened slate and forgave all of those that did me wrong, attacked and immaturely took some kind of firm stance in getting me out of their way. What they didn’t take into consideration was my strong faith that would forgive them. Sure I was knocked down and dragged through the mud, all for my right to Freedom of Speech?

What I say on my blog, is a part of me exercising that right and I never name a soul, without their permission, and never in any way mean malice to anyone. Have you ever read a book or short story, and in between the covers, saw you, in one of the characters? Well did that writer know you personally? No, you just FELT that it was you. A good writer can make you feel that way. That is exactly what got me into the bad karma, if you will, of these people.

As I said, their immaturity left them no one else to hate because my words, seemed to be aimed at them, but they never asked, they just assumed. I forgive you, now I move on into a better place and am taking back the reigns of who I am as a person, a writer who will continue to write, with no specific people or persons in mind, but if you see YOU in my words, then I’ve accomplished my goal of being a doggone prolific writer.

What a better world this would be if people really understood the act of forgiveness. It is not just a word, it is something you feel within for someone who has done you wrong. You move on, not holding the remembrance of pain and anguish they caused you, over their heads. Imagine a world where people forgave one another and moved on. Is that possible in the dark days in front of us? I believe with my whole heart and all my faith, that forgiveness IS divine!

My heart bleeds for those who don’t know forgiveness because their souls are wrought with guilt and shame, pain and illness claws at their bodies unwilling to let go; gnawing at their being is hatred just waiting to spew at anyone who does them wrong or doesn’t fit into their circle. Is that YOU?

So as I get back in the saddle and move on, I have healed, my illness is behind me, not defining me. I am embracing the writing world once again. Because in no way has writing turned its back on me!

Back in the Saddle Again

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.

 ~Marsha Norman

Well here I am nearing my 1,000th post. As many of you know, I took a little break from writing, but lo and behold, the writing bug is still in me and here I am, back in the saddle again.

I’ve had a few post here and there to keep my blog alive, but my writing came to a complete standstill and thinking I never wanted to write again due to upheavals, I’ve realized NO ONE can make me stop writing but me! People can sling mud, disassociate with me, toss me overboard, but writing is within me, not just an outer shell that people can peel away from me, in hopes of destroying my dream.

My dream is still alive and kicking; it just needed a rest. My muse needed to take a step back, drink in all that has happened over the many months of intimate soul searching, healing and growth. And healing and growing is what I’ve done. By the grace of God, my beau has gotten his sight back after being blind for two and a half years; my dental issues have been resolved, and my back issues are still on the mend, but all in all, HEALING is going around.

I didn’t do it alone, mind you. I have a church family that came through amazingly; I had a few internet friends that heard my cries, actually sympathized with me, and reached out to me. Without that cluster of people, whether it was monetary, or prayers, I would not be right here today writing to you telling you of my healing. I would still be in intense pain, and no healing would have taken place. Each one of you knows who you are. You have my undying gratitude, love and appreciation. I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Now with a new understanding of ‘friendship’, knowing who and who is not my friend, I can move forward in my writing. I’ve said it before, and I’ll shout it out to all of you again; writing is within! When I hear people whine (yes, I whined!) about giving up on writing, or that someone hurt someone so much that they wanted to give up writing, I have to chuckle a little. NO ONE can you hurt you so much, that you can give up writing.

From experience, I’ve learned people can hurt you! They can be downright mean and cause you to go into isolation, but giving up writing? If you are a REAL writer, nothing and no one can take that away from you. Want some sage advice from this whole experience? It is better to pray for those people who caused your pain, isolate yourself from THEM, but never, and I mean never turn your back on your writing!

I knew my writing was there waiting for me like a warm blanket on a cold night; just sitting on the back of the chair anxiously awaiting my hands to embrace it and to envelop me in warmth. So to you my friends I say; when you fall off the horse, you definitely cannot watch Bullseye ride off into the sunset, you need your hand firmly on the reigns, and get yourself back in the saddle again! And don’t forget your blanket, it gets cold out here in this world and it is your source of heat and passion! Wink

That which the dream shows is the shadow of such wisdom as exists in man, even if during his waking state he may know nothing about it.... We do not know it because we are fooling away our time with outward and perishing things, and are asleep in regard to that which is real within ourself.

~Paracelsus