Happy Valentine's Day: Another Year

Pss. 116:1 "I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications."

Another Year...

It was here and then gone

the year that was then wasn't

We started off on a slippery slope

the days of does and doesn't.

I try to make some sense of it all

but memories mesh together

A sunny day here, a rainy one there

all measured by crazy weather.

Then there are days filled with pain

coughs, sniffles, and sneezes 

your hand in mine, memory blind

a warm soft hug appeases.

We've made it through some blizzards

together all seemed so easy 

fierce lightning storms and raging winds

with love, it passed as just breezy.

Here we stand once again

confusion trying to take hold

but we're too strong to let it win

Our souls should stand so bold! 

This Valentine's day remember

as all the ones in the past

The year might soar in a whirlwind

but it's our enduring love that lasts! 

To my honey! 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Poetry Sunday ~ Autumn's Gate

Matt. 6:22 "The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."

Autumn's Gate

The pumpkins sit

nestled in the cold

surrounded by dry

leaves gone old.

The empty feeder

lonely and bare

swings to and fro

in autumns air.

The wind lifts death

skyward bound

places it gently on 

the frost-kissed ground.

The season seen

as ill-spent time

the leaf now burrowed

in mud and grime.

The secret's hidden

in the sleeping season

with eyes on the sparrow

gives Spirit new reason.

Matt. 25-26 "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Against The Wind

Mark 6:47-48 (NIV) "Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the 

lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them.” 

Against the Wind

When you’re in as much pain as me, you have a lot of time to just sit and think. Sitting is not good for me because the longer I sit the harder it is to get back up. But lo and behold, I’ve had time to think.

I have a dear friend who worries about me. I love that anyone thinks of me but this friend goes above and beyond in caring for me and well yes, he’s concerned about my progress, understandably so. 

I was moving along so nicely, appeared to be healing at record speed then BAM! It seemed to halt. What on earth happened? I tried analyzing and over analyzing but in time (God's time) I figured it out. A raging wind came that’s what happened, tossing me about to and fro.

Mark 6:48 “And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them.”

Did you ever notice that when you pray, you sometimes (mostly all the time) have to wait for an answer? Some of the time we don’t get the answer we want because we hastily let our minds go to work instead of allowing God to do His job. Yup, that was me. As much as I say I’m listening to God, I strayed off course because I wanted things done in my time!

MS Word keeps crashing. Let's try again.

Nebraska doesn’t have the tumultuous waters but it does have the horrendous gusting winds to either push or halt me in its path. I was sailing along enjoying my journey, patting myself on the back, admiring my own strength, and could actually see and feel a healing taking place as I soared. Then the winds came and stopped me and my ego in its tracks.

Well, it was morning when I tried writing, it is now afternoon and the zone has closed. I hope I can get back to the point I was trying to make if this gives me a chance. I notice whenever I try saying how good God is, something causes this to crash and it was crashing like mad this morning but now I’ve gotten more than five sentences in without a crash. I know as soon as I get in the zone it will crash, or some higher force in the realm of my computer's insides is fixing the little hidden bugs that are trying to keep me from writing.

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah…getting the wind knocked out of me by the gusty winds. I was soaring along in my healing when I suddenly got the wind knocked out of me but the unseen force was more my arrogance, in hindsight. I’ve been trying to figure out what went wrong and I can blame the wheat bread, the gluten, the one time cheat but I knew deep down none of that was the cause. 

I prayed. For months I prayed and while I wanted an answer pronto as I kept writing, and my concerned friend kept asking, I was at a loss why I was not getting the response I wanted or the time frame I wanted. Well, because GOD IS IN CONTROL, not me and He’ll respond when HE is good and ready. I need to learn patience! And it would do good if my friends knew patience as well. [winkwink]

Last week when I had my mowing spree and I even weed whacked; my underarm started hurting, quite specifically my lymph node on the side of the tumor. It had been showing signs of swelling and I just thought oh great add a thunderstorm to the mix of pain. As the sea swelled and I was being tossed around, pain, cane, back, everything swirled and swirled around me and I was just ready to give up and eat whatever I want and give up on this whole protocol thing. Put me in a hospice and let me go. 

I didn’t bail on my protocol, or on the rough seas churning about, I continued to paddle against the wind. I looked up on google ‘pain in lymph nodes' the other night and was reminded (I covered this when I was first diagnosed) that the lymph nodes are our defense mechanism. If they are swelled then they are in there kicking butt against an invading illness.

Google response: “Lymph nodes become swollen in response to illness, infection, or stress. Swollen lymph nodes are one sign that your lymphatic system is working to rid your body of the responsible agents.”

Last year upon diagnosis, I was told they were going to slice this tumor out of my breast and take some lymph nodes with it. Can you imagine? Had they taken my lymph nodes, I have nothing in my immune system fighting FOR me, they would destroy a portion of me that I NEEDED to heal!

Did you ever notice that when you pray, you sometimes (mostly all the time) have to wait for an answer? Some of the time we don’t get the answer we want because we hastily let our minds go to work instead of allowing God to do His job. Yup, that was me. As much as I say I’m listening to God, I strayed off course because I wanted things done in my time!

When I checked out lymph nodes on google and as I already knew, lymph nodes are a defense mechanism. My swelled nodes had me concerned and my husband of course worries with every pain I have so I try not to tell anyone anything because they read too much into it and want a hasty healing, not the slow one that the CANCER seas are going to take a person on. It is what it is, my friends, cancer is ugly no matter what route you take on the healing journey. This illness can't just be prayed away, or expected to miraculously disappear.

What causes lymph nodes to swell? I repeat! Google says: "Lymph nodes become swollen in response to illness, infection, or stress. Swollen lymph nodes are one sign that your lymphatic system is working to rid your body of the responsible agents." 

Read that people! LYMPHATIC SYSTEM WORKING TO RID THE BODY of [FOREIGN AGENTS]. My lymph nodes that doctors wanted to take away are in there FIGHTING FOR ME! Had they taken them away, I'd have nothing to defend me against this crud. My immune system would be shot, my nodes gone, and I'd be disfigured, more than the forty-seven pounds of weight loss has granted me. 

My Bible Gateway email this [yesterday]morning spoke directly to me! I was carried away by the storm not seeing the full picture.

Mind you that all this week the emails were about college or kids getting out of school etc. etc, but this [yesterday] morning it was targeted RIGHT AT ME! While I'm out here in the midst of a storm, Jesus hasn't forgotten about me, no not at all, He's right here WITH me! Imagine how foolish I felt when I'm always telling everyone else to have patience then realize I wasn't being patient myself! I was just as eager as you to see this crud OVER and DONE WITH! 

My prayers were answered in this little email and in prayer. God is still with me and has been all along! No, the crud is not over and done with, we still have a long way to go but the one thing I can say is that through the back-breaking daily pain, through every step with my cane, I know God is with me as I heal! The first half of my journey, when I was walking and soaring, was what the finished product will look like. Now, this half of the journey is the pain and suffering I must endure, the cross I must carry. Imagine if the first leg of the journey was all pain and suffering. I may have never made it to the second or third part of the journey. I would've given up! Allowed fear and negativity to show me the way. Now that I know what I'll look like healed I am all the more determined to see this through to the end. 

God works in mysterious ways, my friends. Trust and patience are the tools to see you through. I am no longer sailing against the winds. I'm riding along with them, and am at a place where I am SUPPOSED to be; not where everyone thinks I should be, or where I WANT to be, but where God has positioned me, in His time! 

All praise and Glory to God! 

 Isaiah 41:10 (NIV), “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

Poetry Sunday ~ Angry Winds

Matthew 15:14 "And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a ditch."

Angry Winds 

Fierce winds churned

the chimes banged to life

a cradle bough broke

the day with a knife.

The sleeping ground numb 

while trees bent their head

discourse erupted 

waking the dead

Warped weather crawling

weeping night whispered still

           the moonlight dangling             

an intense hardened chill

Lamppost dispersed

a feathered night sky

angry winds churned

a soft lullaby

Goodnight sleeping beauty

awake in the morn

daybreak is dawning

a new life reborn

Ecc. 3:3 “A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;”

I need a break!

The Road Less Traveled

 2 Cor. 10:17 “But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.” 

The Road Less Traveled

Out here where I live, the roads less traveled are marked as ‘road not serviced’ meaning the dirt road is not graded and will be bumpy and uneven in places. We sometimes go down these roads just out of curiosity and intrigued by what lies ahead.

I’ve noticed in these very trying times, many people are more than likely to stick to the here and now familiarity. To me, it seems God is not allotting time for the familiar and is throwing us all on the road less traveled. I see over and over again people thinking that they control their circumstances and don’t really rely on God. It’s as if He is the ‘go to’ guy and not the depended upon King of Kings that He is!

When I was diagnosed with this ‘dire disease’ that everyone has their own ideas about, but me, being different as I am, I chose the road less traveled. On this bumpy and at times uncertain road I’m met with the ungraded surface of people that don’t understand and are not willing to even learn. Is society so set it in its ways that there is no room for growth?

I’m alive in a time of miracles and people move in a robotic routine state on the conveyor belt of life. As winds and storms take aim, as civility has ceased to exist, as doctors are no longer the healers of their profession but basically drug dealers with a license, the world is in utter chaos.

I’m alive and grateful for every living day. As I continue on down this road less traveled, I don’t have to see the hurried people on the highway of life. I don’t have to be a witness to the ‘me first’ society on the roundabouts that hurry people along. I don’t have to be a part of the political correctness of the world. I bow to no one but my Lord and Savior.

While blessings abound in my neck of the woods, I do get to witness God and all His glory. While some might not see a simple change in the schedule as a blessing, I don’t and never have believed in mere coincidences. We’ve had high winds for close to forty-eight hours now. I’m not talking about 10-20 mph winds, I’m talking 30-35mph sustained winds which means constant and unending, with GUSTS hitting the fifty and sixty mph range. Two whole days of unending wind, which doesn’t make travel easy, now does it? 

It doesn’t show up in news reports of our wind because I’m out in the middle of nowhere in a state that basically is invisible in a country overrun by big cities facing their own impending storms and damage. A blessing (to me) was when a girl at my husbands' job wanted to ‘switch’ days off with him. I knew today would be another day of hard to drive into work on our measly two-lane roads. Let a wind gust push you into the oncoming lane’s traffic, which happened Sunday as we went food shopping. Hubby said that yesterday the wind pushed him all over the road going to work, so I was not looking forward to both my guys having to drive in this stuff. Yes, God will protect them no matter what.

Today both hubby and son are off of work! Coincidence? I think not. A gentleman at my son’s work asked (last night) if he could switch days off and my son was more than happy to oblige. To me, that is two blessings! God is keeping a careful eye on my stress levels and keeping my family safe. After trying to venture outdoors yesterday and nearly getting pushed down the stairs by the gusting winds, I barely made it back up the steps to come in the house and the entire incident left me kind of shaken. I think I’ve lost more weight than I thought.

Today, tossed into the mix, is a light snowfall where north of me is facing blizzard conditions after a seventy-degree weekend! I thought Spring was in the air but God has other plans for the world and it isn’t a gay old merry day for Spring, it’s downright winter until March 21 and then some. Maybe another blessing will be in the forced Changing of the Clocks this weekend. Yes, we SPRING FORWARD to lose an hour but we gain an extra hour of sunlight that just might possibly warm our days. Not that I’ve seen much sunlight this winter anyway and I’ve done an abnormal amount of complaining this winter season too. I pray for change with my coming New Year celebration on April 1st.

1 Cor. 15:51 "Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,"

Haunting Christmas Day Storm

4 Ezra 15:38 “And then shall there come great storms from the south, and from the north, and another part from the west.”

Haunting Christmas Storm

I don’t know where you’re located but on Christmas day we here in the Midwest had the weirdest and darkest of storms almost wipe us out. 

Let me start by saying I had the most beautiful blessed day! I woke in the ever peacefulness of the morning, computer humming in the background, hubby already awake. I shuffled to the kitchen to start my morning coffee and allowed Sassy to go outside and do her morning business. 

Besides the wind smacking me in the face the fog wouldn’t allow my eyes to see any further than the road, so I ducked back in the house to see how the coffee was coming along, ahh, nothing like a house filled with the aroma of coffee!

We waited for Adam to make his presence known and then the excitement of gift exchange began. My favorite gift was a Grace VanderWaal CD! My second (or third) favorite gift was a Minion that TALKS! Says 25 different phrases and well, this excited me like any child ripping open presents on Christmas morn. Shut up! I hear you laughing, I was excited! 

They asked what I wanted and I really am not a person of want so anything was fine by me, but I think these people I live with know me too well and made their purchases of love with the knowledge of knowing and understanding my needs. Yes, I needed that Minion to bring a much-needed smile to my face! 

The Grace tape brought tears to my eyes because I didn’t think anyone would remember how much I admire this twelve-year-old prodigy! But hubby remembered! Then there were the adult coloring books! You know coloring books for grown-ups that kids would find boring but I’m using them to keep my fingers exercised; kind of a physical therapy on myself.

I got Pepsi cups, a Pepsi apron (that covers my chest for when I’m slaving over the hot stove!) now I don’t ruin my shirt by that one splatter of sauce. And what else you ask? Well two letters, HP? Any guesses? A new and improved much-needed laptop. WOOHOO!! My old one has been going up for months now and his days were numbered as my days were just writing and going easy on the tired fella. Watching videos was like riding down the bumpy road in frustration waiting for the trip to end. No amount of cleaning was making the old fella work any better and hubby knew that and made sure my Christmas was a MERRY one!

I didn’t get to play with my toys because out here in the Midwestern part of the country, people eat dinner at noonish. Yes, noonish! I was kind of leery after looking into the deep thick fog that made viewing the outside world nearly impossible. It was if God had hung a veiled curtain over the window and was not allowing anyone to see pass the flowing mist.

Anxiously, we went on with our plans and all hopped in the truck and trudged on, falsely thinking that it could only get better out there right? Boy were we ever wrong. The dirt road was already a trembling puddle as the winds were causing the water to shiver as we drove. The drizzle became a downpour quickly as we hit the blacktop part of the road but the fog and rain were only getting worse. I wanted to go back! Home! Safety! 

We pressed on seeing it brighter up ahead but as we lurched ever so slowly as a slug on a slimy road, eerily the sky darkened to almost black as night. The fog had turned into a thick blanket then the rain, the torrential downpour coupled with what felt like a hundred mile an hour winds basically pushing the car off of the road to the side where a ditch was only the next place to go. 

Lightning crashed thunder erupted, and winds pushed. I saw a car pull over and he just sat there waiting for the monsoon-like winds and rain to stop pulsating so that we could eek along on a nearly empty road barely missing hydroplaning our way into a ditch. I felt as if I was in the Twilight Zone special feature and I would surely wake up and all would be sunny and bright after passing through the time warp vortex. 

I wanted to turn around and go back home but I wasn’t the one driving and after all, we had made it this far. I must’ve said ten Our Father’s before reaching his brother's place and yes, we were the first to arrive as the rest of the family was facing the same exact thing that we had just been through. 

All of the family arrived safely, each with their own version of what they had just experienced driving through but like I said we all made it safely to the Family Celebration. Although worries of the turkey not making it, fear of food poisoning hung over the get-together, quickly gone after eating all of the extremely good food that survived. The turkey was fine really but the caution was there for us to decide after the oven had failed early in the morning hours, rendering Tom drying out time in a cooling oven.

The day was drawing to a close. I was getting antsy wanting to play with my new toy at home and briefly the sun shone and pierced the darkened skies just as the Light of the Lord will do for any soul living in the dark. All three of us were ready to part before another predicted storm hit. 

The only thing that hampered the drive home was the winds that had calmed to about 50 mph but we made it home, listened to the howling wind hurl small limbs at the house, shred shingles from the rooftop and pound on the walls like an anxious intruder. Outside tables and chairs were flipped upside down, chimes broke free from the branches where they hung, but we all made it through yet another Christmas day.

Except for the weird wind, strange fog, and thundering lightning the day was perfect. Yet another Pop Singer (one of my faves) died and 2016 will stand out as the most Perfectly Imperfect year to date, for ME!!!! Fittingly, Perfectly Imperfect is Grace VanderWaal’s CD’s name! 

Now onto the days AFTER Christmas… 

The Snowstorm

Luke 8:23 “But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on the lake; and they were filled with water, and were in jeopardy.”

The impending storm has the media all up in arms causing people to panic using words like historic, devastating, menacing and catastrophic. While the media likes to blow things out of proportion I personally, having lived on the east coast for 37 years of my life, can add simple words to tell the truth of the matter like immobilizing, standstill and simply put, a snowstorm.

My mother tells me they have already closed schools for the day (Friday) and the storm isn’t going to hit until tonight! They are calling for one inch of snow today, 8-12 this evening with high winds, and tomorrow an additional 10-14 inches! While this storm will put traffic at a standstill and immobilize the millions that are crammed into Maryland it is also going to affect millions of others from the surrounding states. While a lot of people are joking saying:
“It’s a snowstorm deal with it.”
“So much for Global Warming!”
“I guess Climate Change was a farce.” And the ever popular,
“You haven’t seen a snowstorm until you lived in ______!” put any northern state in the blank.

What will be on the rise during this storm I can assure you, will be ignorance, speed demons, hurried people, car wrecks, selfish antics and greed.

What I’d like to SEE during this storm and will happen but on rare occasions is compassion, concern and consideration. Trust me, I’ve lived through quite a few of these colossal blizzards in my lifetime. 

The people in the North will make fun of the people in the South for their inability to handle ice and snow as if they deal with that stuff all the time. I lived in Texas a few years and no, they can’t handle snow and ice only because they’re lucky (or not) to see the stuff maybe once in ten years! Where the people in the North have had to deal with storms of massive proportions yearly.

When Steven bought his Ford Explorer years ago in Texas, it wasn’t a four-wheel drive but when we got to Nebraska and had to buy a new truck it is all they sold, 4 wheel drives. When asked WHY the difference, the seller simply put, ‘they don’t need 4 wheel drives in the south.’

As our self-centered ME generation plows ahead all that they can think to do is make fun of people? Seriously? Every storm is different but rest assured there WILL be casualties, there will be homes, houses and cars destroyed, backs will be injured, elderly will be left powerless and the homeless will suffocate and die. And all you can do is poke fun? Maybe you’re also proud of the person you’ve become?

It seems like an all to often knee jerk reaction making fun of the less fortunate but it is getting really old this day and age, in my book. I remember more times than once taking eight hours to shovel out a car and its parking spot only to move the car and someone else jump into your hard work. I remember bailing out three, four, ten neighbors at a time so they could see the outside world in the midst of a two foot snow barrier and yes I remember taking the elderly food during these rough storms! 

But today? People will shoot you for a parking spot, elderly will be left to die, neighbors will build walls of discontent to have everything THEIR way. That’s just the way the world is these days.

Eight inches of snow in Nashville Tennessee? While all of you Climate Change scoffers sit there and laugh please be aware of the drastic changes going on around you that you can SEE if only you had eyes to see. Climate Change by definition states: a change in global or regional climate patterns, in particular a change apparent from the mid to late 20th century onwards and attributed largely to the increased levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide produced by the use of fossil fuels.

Now I have not done any scientific research on Climate Change but I am not so stupid that I can’t SEE visually what is going on around me! Let me just say, the week of December 25th, Baltimore saw temps in the seventies and had people jogging around the Inner Harbor in shorts and tank tops and note that this current blizzard is the FIRST snowstorm of their winter season!

Hurricanes raging in the Atlantic in January, snow in Texas, El Paso no less, tornadoes in many places that’s not normal for JANUARY, Fracking causing earthquakes in Oklahoma and yet you still laugh?

We the people are destroying the earth and all you can do is sit and frantically post silly BS on facebook and twitter? I sit in awe of your selfish ego. Compassion is more than just reading and reposting what you can on the internet. Loving God is more than just spouting a few words of praise. Being Christ-like is more than just being nice to a person. It SHOULD be a way of life and for some it IS a way of life. 

My prayers go out to the people in the midst of the storms. My prayer is for them to look at the world and slow down. The world, hopefully, will still be here next week so what is the hurry to grab bread, milk and toilet paper? Remember, to love one another as you love yourself! If you can’t love someone you’ve never met, you have very little love for yourself. 

Mark 12:31 “And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

The WINDS of Change

“The trouble is not really in being alone, it's being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don't you think?”
~ Christine Feehan

Waving Hi, from the windy state of Nebraska. Sure Chicago can claim “the Windy City” but I am here to unofficially lay claim to the name Windy State of Nebraska! As weather forecasters will lie to you and say, it’s going to be breezy, I’m here to say, 25mph sustained WINDS with gusts to 45mph does not make it ‘breezy’; where I come from (Baltimore, Md.) that is downright WINDY!

The winds have been sustained for more than a week now, I’m sure of that, which hinders any time in the garden even though I’m loving the cool temps. Last week we had record-breaking heat with temps reaching 97 and in some places 100-104! A few days before that we had SNOWFALL and today it is struggling to reach 60!

These crazy weather shifts gives rise to tornadoes and some storm-wreaking havoc. It’s made me think of the winds of change sweeping over my life as well as this lovely state of Nebraska. Living out here in isolation – yes, a closed down turkey ranch with one other house is sheer isolation for me. While I love the beauty, solitude and quietness of the place, it sure can elicit a solid empty feeling of loneliness.

An overly friendly person I am, who sees the outside physical world maybe once every two or three weeks (that being a trip to the food store or church, twenty miles away from my house) can sometimes feel the isolation as smothering. This is where my writing garden comes into play. And to think ten years ago I never TOUCHED a computer, I have now taken up one of my beau’s famed addictions and that is, life on the computer!

In this windowed world, there is no wind! There is a collage of friendships to be had and thus I find myself clinging to the writing world and the sites that have anything to do with writing, and the daily dose of facebook, mind you.

THIS is why I chose to dive headfirst into f2k again. Even IT has taken on the winds of change. Once a free writing course, now a FEE writing course, which will enable serious writer’s to take the plunge into the writing frenzy that they so desire. F2K is the birth of a silent muse. That’s right folks, as your muse lay dormant, f2k can fire up the silence with seven weeks of active writing.

Whether it is making new friends, feedbacking and critiquing others, f2k is the place to put your money where your words are. You’ll suddenly feel the winds of change in everything from writing, confidence, all the way through to a finished short story.

You too will see why I find inspiration in a fallen tree (due to winds), sprouting seeds, flowers bursting forth, the aroma of newly fallen rain (when we get it) and the humming of tractors to the hissing of pivots making their rounds.

Isolation can bring about the winds of change, as well as a lost feeling of loneliness but that is why my only ties to the enormous outside world lay right here…at my fingertips.

“Lingering is so very lonely when one lingers all alone.”
~ Mervyn Peake

What a May...

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow. ~Proverb
***

Well May is almost over and while I wonder where the first five months have gone, I need only look back over my posts.

I remember a time when March 21 signaled the ‘soon-to-be-arriving’ Spring. We sat day after day in anticipation of the flowers bursting their little heads through the soil, the bees onto doing their work for the season, even the ants peeked out in anticipation of the season and prepared for the next.

This year, Spring has yet to arrive. My Day Lilies have came out to greet the day, but have been bearing the brunt of high winds and chilly temps since they made their appearance. Yup it is still in the forties at night here in Nebraska, and the winds are still unbearably gusty. The days drag on in anticipation of the school year ending and hopefully the arrival of Summer, which I’m sure will be wiped out by Old Man Winter rearing his ugly mug way too soon!

We’ve had anniversaries, the 16th was our Eighth Anniversary, we’ve had birthdays, graduations, end of season sporting events taking place, all the while the winds of change have not embraced me.

We reached the twenty-first of May and I look back and think, have you written this year? I have to admit, my writing muse has taken a small break. Just too much going on with doctors visits, storms, stress and more stress. It cradles me like a newborn babe and doesn’t want to release me into the grown-up world in which I live!

Adam, my son, has gotten an ear infection. Actually TWO of them and a sinus infection. He is in his last seven days of school, four of which have been spent in bed, taking meds and trying to recover! And I’m sitting here wondering if Spring will ever tap me on the shoulder, shake me like a  pair of maraca's, and wake me from this hypnotizing funk that I seem to be in.

I’ll get back to writing. It is in my blood, it’s in my heart, writing has consumed my soul. I know there is more to life out there but right now, all I see are winds and I can find comfort in here, with my writing.

I think if you’re a writer, you know what I’m talking about. You try to do other things, but writing keeps calling you back as if it has a straight-landline to the fingers and it’s telling you to write write write!

If you bought into May 21 being the end of the world, I pray for you. The world can not end until my novel is published and THAT, you can bank on! :)

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Poetry Sunday~ The Path I Take

Pss. 17:5 Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.
***
The Path I Take
***
As curious winds dance about
snow lay at my feet
swirling in my mind is doubt
for all the world to meet.

Take my hand and walk me through
the life that has a muddled hue.

Swift soft whispers of the day
spin my life around
stellar are the stars I see
they lift me off the ground.

Hold me now for I am weak
my Father’s face, do I seek.

Step lightly as you pass.
on wilted willow's bough;
Windows open, breath falls in
I’m here amongst you now.

He breathes new life into me
I share for all the world to see.

Change....

Proverbs 24:21 My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:

***

Change changing places...

Wow, I woke up this morning and as the songbirds sang a tune, I sauntered into the kitchen to make my morning coffee. Ahh, the fresh aroma of coffee filtering through the air. Almost as good as crisp morning springtime air.

It is spring in abundance out here on the farm. Robins are bouncing around the ground, poking their beaks into the soil, looking for a worm or two. Woodpeckers knock-knock- knock on wood, trying to wake up the entire tree. Squirrels are running about looking for last years corncobs that they buried, then there is me.

Me, I’ve been raking and cleaning up what winter left behind. Adam has been pulling dead weeds and raking too. We love this unseasonably warm weather, but with this warm air comes wind. Have you wondered all week why I have been making reference to wind? Twenty-five to thirty mils an hour, you just can’t ignore the stuff.

As I watched the sunrise this morning, not a trickle of wind. The birds were fluttering, doves are calling and me I just sit in awe of how much everything has changed in just one year. This time last year, the uncertain path laid before me was moving. We were finding Texas to be too much, we had hopes Nebraska was what was needed to help in our uncertainty, so we moved here. There has been nothing but change since we got here.

Not that change is bad, change is good and necessary to propel you forward to the next step in life. The winds brush you off the floor, push you and egg you on into the place where you are least comfortable, then WHAM, you’re standing in the midst of change, hoping beyond hope that it is all for the better.

I don’t even know if I like all of this change, I’m still in the accepting stages of what life is throwing at me. Writing is so much like life. One minute your writing what you know, the next thing you know, your character makes a hasty decision, moves along the story and then you stop, wonder what is going to happen next, then WHOOSH, uncertainty.

Life is like a box of chocolates, (brownie points for who said that.) Sometimes you never know what you’re going to get. Me, I got the nut. That’s my life story.  ha ha. Maybe life is like a jar of cookies, when it’s full you’re pleased knowing there is always something to munch on, but when it is empty, you feel empty too, never knowing if it will be full again.

And that my friends, is just the way the cookie crumbles.

Song lyric by who, I wonder? ;-)
Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes