Mistakes Part II

Jas. 5:16 “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Let me make something perfectly clear. In yesterday’s post I was going over mistakes I made in my life and I don’t want my reader to misunderstand me. I in no way regret not getting an abortion. Sure I was young, many would jump at the chance, but I CHOSE not to get an abortion because I don’t believe in them. I clearly was given a CHOICE and I chose life but God, for only reasons He knows, chose death. 

I didn’t make a mistake in getting married at seventeen either because low and behold, thirteen years later I would be blessed with a beautiful baby boy, living, breathing! My whole point in these mistakes posts is a chance to look back and see that they weren’t really mistakes after all just learning experiences. I learned I had a CHOICE as to what to do with my body and soul, no matter what age I was.

Granted, at such a young age my choices weren’t that great but I did learn from them and am a better person because of them. Many people make mistakes and live a life filled with regret; why didn’t I do this, why didn’t I do that? I’m here to tell you from experience that your life will be a living hell if you live a life of regret!

Maybe this is why I’m an optimistic positive person, because I see the glass as half full not half empty. I don’t live a life of regrets, I live a life of promise. My hope is that when you read my words, sitting there full of regrets, you think to yourself all of the good things that came out of what seemed like mistakes in YOUR life.

The only way to find healing, short of therapy, is writing; if not to the world then to you and you alone. Coming to grips with a hard past is a long road and one worth taking if you are ever to heal. Healing is a process, sometimes a long slow process but a process nonetheless. It’s a painful process too and there is no humor in going over the most painful parts of your life. Pain will resurface, tears will fall, loneliness will embrace you but it is all a part of the healing on the path to a better you.

What you have to try is this: Write down what you see as a mistake and right next to it write down a positive slant like what good came from that mistake. You might be the kind of person who is afraid to admit you made any mistakes and that’s okay too, I guess. Take note: Living in denial will hurt more than heal. You have to come to terms with the mistakes you made, your mother might have made or your father in rearing you and I tell many students to write, write, write and get it off your chest and onto paper! Granted you may have had the perfect life and made no mistakes. To me that is like saying, “I’ve never sinned.” 

Jas. 5: 20 “Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.”

I have to admit, writing is one thing I will NEVER regret doing. It has become an emotional healer for me whether in writing my story or writing poetry it has been a healer of all sorts on so many levels.

These things you write down can be for your eyes only and when you’re done they can be deleted or burned, if you wrote them on paper. That’s just one step in the healing process to make you SEE that you’re a better person because of your mistakes. You’re not a BAD person, you’re a healing person! Own it!

With the grace of God may you all find the healing that you seek. 

Acts 4:22 “For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed.”

Poetry Sunday ~ I Give Thanks

1 Chron. 16: 8 Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.

 

 I Give Thanks

 For all we are and all we do

we give our thanks each day.

We live, grow, change and mend

I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father

for all the things they gave.

Within their hand they held my life

but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me

although the road was rough.

I never look back with any regret

the rocky roads were tough.

The path was laid before we were born

the forks were all in place.

Which we chose was a cosmic bend

that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk

as I wandered through each year.

Whimsical times and frenzied mind

He made it all seem clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards

glass was torn to pieces.

He put them all together again

my love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me

through my most daunting days.

I’m mended now because of Him,

a path of newfound ways.

Poetry Sunday ~ Bough Breaks

Ezek. 15:2 Son of man, What is the vine tree more than any tree, or than a branch which is among the trees of the forest?


Bough Breaks
*  *  *
Snowdrifts pile on the tree,
a morning of beauty for eye to see.
Branches bow in prayer to Him
whiteness clings to every limb.


Boughs moan with the slightest breeze,
broken down with the slightest sneeze.
A whispering wind the twig it grieves,
breaking the sprig that has no leaves.


Lonely and cold the cows they roam
in the open field called home.
No shelter from the bended wings,
I hear them calling, the morning sings.


The broken branch I see it bleed,
giving earth its one last seed.
Hear me Lord, my earthly cries,
fill my heart with joyous skies.


For all that's broken, now must mend.
my heart, my soul made to bend.
For only You gives all that's real,
the earth and I will slowly heal.

What a week

1 Peter 2:11  Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

***

Well the week began with a third trip into Omaha. Yes a third trip in a week. Upon arrival home, I collapsed on the bed and have awakened to today, Friday. Can you believe with all that rest, I’m still exhausted? I slept for eight straight hours last night and woke a few minutes late in getting Adam up for school. To say this experience has been draining is an understatement, but I made it!! :)

I’ll save the dramatics of the me me me and swing over to all that has been happening. Besides my face being in excruciating pain and all my limbs being numb, I’m good otherwise. But beau? He’s a blast. He’s returning to the old him and I don’t know whether that is good or bad but he can see and that is all that matters.

After watching him for two years slowly walk through the house, with his hands guiding him down the walls. He is now scurrying through here at record speeds. Yeah, Mighty Mouse has nothing on him. He’s actually seeing all that I haven’t done and fixing it to his liking. He cleaned up the filing cabinet, (the place I never entered until 2 and half years ago) and sorted through the mess I made. He likes perfection and where old bills are concerned? I could really care less. I mean come on do ya need bills from ten years ago?

He took on washing a load of his laundry. (I won’t let him touch mine.) What? Do I want to wind up with pink socks? Or have the only shirts I own covered in lint balls from sweat pants? Men are different, they don’t care. Rest the doc says, "How can I?" he spits back. Yeah...he's working in the basement today and I'm not even going to be the mommy and scold him. Whatever will be will be.

Now the world turns. As we’ve been kind of sitting in an idle position, the earth shifts and we move in a new direction. New things are happening, new things that will either bend us or break us, but they’re new so I’m kind of looking forward to seeing where this journey is going to lead us.

I’m sure it will all involve money we don’t have. With me having to make a dentists appointment, I know I’m looking at thousands, plays to attend, electricity to resume paying, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and lets not forget with this new sight, he’ll be cut off of Social Security as soon as it returns to his 20/20 and he can return to work. And no S.S. means no medicare, medicaid or any other financial help from the state.  Meaning, who pays for the much needed doctor visits?

Stressed? Me? Nah. Why should I be stressed? I’ve been let down by some close friends recently, hurt beyond returning, and I sit here and wait to roll off the axis that I’m trying to stand stable on as an earthquake erupts in my world.

The high point? I’m alive! He CAN SEE!!! And nothing else matters in life!!!

Praise be to God!

1 Peter 2 :9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light: