The Bridge to Healing

Image by R.J. Hembree

used with permission

Psalm 27:7,9-10 (NIV)

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. ... Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.

The Bridge to Healing

I look toward the end of the bridge and am shaken. I fear heights and have been over bridges like this in the past only to be shaken by a mean brother who loved seeing fear take hold of me and watching me cower on my knees, afraid to venture to the other side. When faced with a challenge, as a child, I often cowered, trying to wear a brave face.  When bullies attacked or when shame surrounded me like a little girl standing in the center of a cornfield, I would panic, shake, then drop to my knees, or run for my life.

I learned the hard way that you can't run forever and you also can't run over the bridge, unless you're a fearless soul. I'm not fearless, I'm human. I see this long bridge as a path to healing, fear on either side, but the beauty that lay up ahead when healing is complete. My journey with this disease began in confidence, fear was far from me as I started the trek across the sturdy wooden bridge. Then it hit me almost a year into my confident walk, I looked down instead of ahead, midway across the bridge.

I looked forward, I looked behind me, I was shaken and stirred as if someone was with me on the bridge trying to throw me from the path that I was on. My hair swirled around me as I kept looking back and forth, confidence stored in the clouds, fear in the rushing waters below. I was frozen. Mid-December I became less and less confident, my pain rose, my ability to focus waned. Surrounded by positive and negative vibrations, all meshed together and I was cowering in the center of the bridge, halfway to my destination. How could this happen, how could I lose the very confidence I started over the bridge with, what happened?

I know what happened; every pain, every lump and bump were echoing sounds from below in the rushing river. I looked over the edge and it crumbled me as it had in the past. I was staring death straight in the face, in my mind. I couldn't let go, no one was there to save me. No one was there to rebuild my confidence. Prayers continued for me but I felt that they were too far away for me in the trembling of my knees.

Then I remembered the clouds; the clouds that lined the end of the bridge, that feathered over the sky as protection from the baking sun. What I was seeking was not below in rushing waters, in echoing fears, in rocky mountains, what I was after was the healing that only my God above could restore. A month, two months passed and I was growing weary just crumbled in the middle of the bridge, I needed to rise and peer at the sky and remember the reason all of this took place to begin with. 

Someone walked onto the bridge in a tip-toe fashion and handed me a cane then went on to the other side where they stood motioning me forward. Me, I was slowly rebuilding confidence, my pain was easing, my knees more steady as I stood and began to take a step toward the end of the bridge. I was powering onto the finish line where friends were now cheering me on. The fog had lifted and I could see their faces at the end of the bridge. Looking around was no longer scary, it was becoming a part of the journey, it was fine tuning my eye to the promise of healing.

The cane slowly slipped from my hands as I was no longer in need of the crutch. The worn wood no longer held slivers of fear between them, they held solidarity in my foothold. The end looked like the promise I was guaranteed by the Lord Himself. The sky held beauty and with each step, I went forward to the healing that all were anticipating.

Moral of the story: Don't let fear stop you from moving ahead in your journey. Don't let the vibration pull of positivity and negativity own you and blanket you in fear. Grab hold of the reins of confidence and drown out the rushing waters below; listen to the sounds hidden in the clouds that only a fined tuned eye can see and ears can hear.

Ez. 12:2 “Son of man, thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house, which have eyes to see, and see not; they have ears to hear, and hear not: for they are a rebellious house.”

Images

I love taking pictures of trees. Dead or alive they hold mysterious beauty as to the struggles, the winds and the storms they've endured.

The sunrise...

and sunsets...the trees come alive.

I think the clouds lend a hand in the beauty. 

Simply put... trees are the branches of life

Healing Through Prayer

1 John 2:1-2 (NIV)

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense -- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

Healing through prayer

The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective. It may be just me, but I do not feel an emoticon is righteous and should not be used in the place of prayer, real earnest prayer. I have learned through watching and seeing, feeling and knowing that prayer encourages healing and this is where I’m at, for now.

Who are the ones paying when I don’t pray? The negative influencing people could care less about me or whether they are hurting me or they wouldn’t post what they do and consider the pain they might inflict on people. No, they continue spewing their hatred, flaunting the ego in laughter and using God’s word for their own feel good show. 

When I can’t make it onto facebook and see the prayer requests, the only one paying for my lack of prayer are those in need of prayer and thus satan thinks he is winning the game. As I find healing it is only through prayer that the power of prayer is realized. While satan was wielding his pitchfork and laughing at my seeming demise, I prayed. My God has always been stronger and more powerful and I knew I’d find healing.

I need to stop taking everything people write and post as a personal attack on ME! I need to know that people are human and going to act accordingly in the search for their egos survival for without their ego, they are nothing. To me, they are the Legion referred to in Luke. Men of many faces, hiding in the armpits of satan, wearing the many masks that evil offers.

Luke 8:30 “And Jesus asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Legion: because many devils were entered into him.”

The darkened days are clouded over with an air of mystery as night after night, day after day storms erupt from the sky unleashing damaging lightning, gusting forceful winds, trembling thunder, and torrential rains that leave the newly plowed fields unrecognizable. The sun is hiding behind the darkness waiting to warm the moistened soil just as God is waiting for me to embrace the light that is hiding within me and to override the negative influence with the Glory of Him and Him alone.

While depression will lay dormant I will get on the horse and ride into the sunset that I know is there and it will cradle my thoughts. I will not make light of the darkness that covers my eyes, no I will see the sun lurking behind the cloud waiting to pierce the ground in the light beams that will eventually devour the gray murk of the days.

I don’t use pills to heal my daily pain, I don’t use alcohol to hide behind a storm inside, I don’t abuse food because it serves me no purpose. I won’t go to a doctor who is only there to tell me what I DON’T have wrong with me and can only confirm what IS wrong with me when the tally of the doctor bill reaches the thousands, THEN they’ll find what is wrong and will medicate me for the problem instead of finding HEALING for the problem.

Each day that passes, I will slowly emerge the victor of the storm stronger because the darkness didn’t win, this time, yet again. A flower will unveil one petal at a time. Buds will emerge and the winds will strengthen the stem. I will continue to write, as this is my God-given path that I must pursue. While my immediate family could care less if I write, I know there are people out in the world seeking that one person who is suffering with them and wish to read how they handle such circumstances and maybe THAT is why so many storms take hold of my life so that I can weather them and share my healing with others like me. 

I'll weather this storm and find my healing through earnest prayer. All praise and Glory to God. 

Phil. 4: 6-7 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

This Is The Year

Acts 4:22 “For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed.”

This is the year people point fingers and say there she goes, talking about ME! Rest assured friends, I in no way am targeting any single one of you; actually I am targeting you as a collective whole. If you find what I’m saying to be true or you feel a tinge of guilt, or shivers run up and down your arms like ants on breadcrumbs, then I am reaching YOU!

This is the year of change. I don’t know why I’m clinging to those words but upon rising each morning it feels as each day is a new day to embrace change. What goes in my body, food or drink or what goes in my mind, images or negativity, and what I allow to circle around me!

Things I plan on changing:

I plan on making a change in my writing first and foremost.
I plan on not allowing people and their negative views of the world, cloud mine!
I plan every day to post ‘what’s on my mind’ on facebook not with the annoying tactic of memes but with WORDS, real words! (hopefully)
I plan on using the benefits of twitter more (as a writer)
I plan on making new acquaintances this year that the Lord will lead to me. (or I to them)
I plan on changing the world with my words.

These are just a few things that have begun changing in just seven days of the New Year. They started surfacing in the end of last year but I didn’t feel these changes in my bones until the advent of the New Year.

I swore I would put the mourning-filled year behind me and by daggone it, I will! I got so lost in the grief of the year I forgot to mention that my niece and her husband had a baby as well as my nephew and his wife, both had girls! I was so clouded in the darkness I totally brushed aside the good that happened last year and good things DID happen, I DID marry my best friend, y’know! 

So as my plan for change is moving along smoothly there are things I plan on NOT changing:

I will not be changing my prayer schedule, which is daily in the morning and thoughtfully throughout the day as needed.
I will not be changing my praise and worship!
I will not be changing my faith. It will be as profound and earnestly as it has ever been for over forty years now with added growth.
I will not stop drinking coffee. < - - just a little smile thrown in there for you

Now go and change what you can, accept what you can't change and be who you are! God Bless one and all!

Poetry Sunday ~ Unity

Gen. 9: 13 “I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.”

Unity

In the midst of beauty lies

Darkness gathered round

I heard it in the stillness there

Uncertainty with a sound

Join the voices calling out

Be one with God and man

In the stirrings of the heart

The Light to which I stand

The rainbows arc dances loud

Across the sunlit sky

In the back a darkened shroud

I hear the people cry.

Rain explodes from the span

Puddles form from drops

Divided in a darkened sky

A rainbow then erupts.

One color never shines alone

They join to cast a bow

A shower of solidarity

Men and women wish to know.

Only God can be the judge

Of man and earthly sin

The rainbow is a promise

Of the flood we’ll never win.

Gen. 9:16 “And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.”

 

 

 

Sometimes...

"Just because a person ‘looks’ fine on the outside, doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering with debilitating pain on the inside. Just as you wouldn’t judge a book by its cover, don’t judge a person because they ‘look’ fine." ~ Joni

Sometimes…

Sometimes… my tears fall down like rain

Sometimes… I smile through all the pain

Sometimes… I’m judged by what you see

Sometimes… there's no fun in being me.

Sometimes… the clouds wash o’er my soul

Sometimes… I’m left not feeling whole

Sometimes… someone should take my hand

Sometimes… I need you to understand.

Sometimes… the sun don’t ever shine

Sometimes… I’m not doing ‘fine’

Sometimes… the tears won’t ever fall

Sometimes… I hide behind it all.

Sometimes… I hear the Lord demand

Sometimes… He says child take my hand

Sometimes… when tears fall down like rain

Those times… He carries all my pain.

Job 33:19 He is chastened also with pain upon his bed, and the multitude of his bones with strong pain:

 

 

Poetry Sunday ~ I Give Thanks

1 Chron. 16: 8 Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.

 

 I Give Thanks

 For all we are and all we do

we give our thanks each day.

We live, grow, change and mend

I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father

for all the things they gave.

Within their hand they held my life

but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me

although the road was rough.

I never look back with any regret

the rocky roads were tough.

The path was laid before we were born

the forks were all in place.

Which we chose was a cosmic bend

that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk

as I wandered through each year.

Whimsical times and frenzied mind

He made it all seem clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards

glass was torn to pieces.

He put them all together again

my love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me

through my most daunting days.

I’m mended now because of Him,

a path of newfound ways.