One More Thing: The Trio

Philippians 2:14-16 (NIV) “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”

I wanted to share just one more thing before you all move along with your summer activities and get too busy to check up on lil old me. I feel like my most recent posts have been me 'grumbling' about my pain when really I wanted to share with you the reality of my day to day life in the best way possible.

Phil. 2:14-16 (KJV) Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.

The KJVersion of Phil. 2 doesn't say, 'grumblings or arguing' but grumblings is what I feel I've been doing and maybe that shouldn't be so. How can I shine a light of Christ from my soul if all you read is the grumblings of my back pain? There is a light in here and the only reason I share my murmurings are so that you do not get the picture that self-healing is all hunky-dory. It's hard work AND it is pain-filled! THAT is the reality of the situation that I took upon myself and in the end, I will blame no one for my decision but me and by then there will be no purpose in the blame game.

You know the reason for my choice in this route and that is point blank, I don't believe in drugs. I am a RECOVERED drug addict (another self-healing route at a very young age) and the thought of drugs and the process of the tiny pill that is destroying a population to this day scares me to bits! I believe and always have, that God created healing tools here on earth. When He created us, He placed all around us the true nature of healing whether it is physical, mental, or psychological; the earth holds an abundance of healing tools without the necessary means of a laboratory of synthetic drugs to 'miraculously' HEAL you. It just doesn't work that way, in my mind, anyway.

I know what my tumor looked and felt like when I was first diagnosed. After reading and researching I found information that a biopsy (the test that I was FORCED to undergo along with a mammogram and CT scan) were all links to the spreading of this disease. I did not have any idea of this because I ASSUMED that the doctors actually knew what they were doing and that THEY were right; I wrongly trusted them. 

Over the year I watched as the tumor changed shape and color and things were happening that were enough to scare the pants off of me but I held fast to the belief that 'GOD'S GOT THIS' and I settled into accepting things were going to take time. Not MY time but with HIS time. I knew that the biopsy was the damaging test that set all of this in motion. MANY of the women who I've met online in a BC support group have ALL said the same thing, except their outcome, was slightly worse than mine and for that, I'm truly grateful mine wasn't worse.

A lot of these women are not even in their thirties yet. Some are pregnant or have just given birth but all are adamant in treating this illness on their own, of course, against their doctor's wishes. They don't want to be slaughtered cows either and through the same avenues as me, diet and supplements, we are all in this self-healing together! And HEALING is what we are!

Through my grumblings you might not pick up on parts of my healing that I need to share with you, nor do you understand the method of my healing that is taking place but rest assured, I am healing! I don't boast of my hours of prayer and meditation. I don't tell you about the foods I ingest or my long year and a half journey of finding my place in this new world I have in front of me.

The trio: cancer, psoriasis, and arthritis. I've had psoriasis for about forty years (on and off), arthritis I'd say about six years since diagnosis of my lower lumbar joint arthritis, then there is cancer, the cells have been in there all of my life, awakened about eight or nine years ago and only felt and seen in 2015, diagnosed a little over a year ago on diagnosis day 1-25-17. 

The signs:
Cancer:  I saw no signs of cancer except for the lump I felt in 2015. The year my aunt, uncle and, dad died and the year I got married. What a year, huh? That is the very reason I didn't tell my husband of my lump. I had to wait for medical insurance to go through because don't believe what they tell you when they say FREE CANCER SCREENING- mammograms in the month of October. Maybe in YOUR state but this backwoods stuck in the 1800's state of mine, there were no free mammograms, and yes, I looked! I waited for my insurance to go through and I started the doctor visits and the swift cancer diagnosis came without even ONE test, then she put me through THREE tests to verify her assumption. I feel there was an easier route to diagnosing without the threat of spreading my disease, but who am I, just a little woman going up against the 'Big Bad know it all Doctors'.

Psoriasis: Physically visible my skin was as scaly as a fish! I had dry patches on my elbows and knees, my ears, and my back. This is a chronic illness that kept me in jeans and long sleeves for most of my life. There were times that it healed (so I know the signs of the healing) but over the years it has gotten worse. 

Arthritis: This did not surface until the year of the trips to Omaha took place. The too numerous-to-count, to me four-hour trips, that left my back in pain that I'd never known before. It cost me my ability to walk right. While the trips gained my husband his eyesight back, it cost me the ability to walk. I went to an NP (nurse practitioner) who had an office in a little town and she sent me for an x-ray and it was verified I had lower-lumbar-facet-joint-arthritis; an illness the current P.A. (physicians assistant) could not find as a feasible illness. (Shrug me off) But I know different because I am in this broken body. And if truth be told, just because other people have taken trips to Omaha in two-and-a-half hours and can walk, undermines my truth in the reason I can't walk. (Try driving in high winds, two and three times a week to Omaha! Eight-hour round trips.)
{whatever will be will be}

You have the trio, the proof that they exist, and now you need to know the truth that they are healing! I don't know if you've seen the movie, 'What About Bob', if so, you will understand the term baby-steps. I know for a fact that God is in the business of miracles, and I know people who have experienced them (my husband for one, his sight restored) and I know people who think He just blinks them into existence. Let me ask you this, did the miracle of Christ's birth blink into existence? Was it easy for Mary and Joseph? Was the miracle of Christ's death blinked into existence? Was carrying the cross an easy task? You need to seriously read and understand the Bible before you can understand what I say about my healing and it not just 'blinking into existence'. 

Let me first say I trusted God from the very beginning of this diagnosis. I trusted what He was saying and where He was leading. With that, I bring my baby-steps to healing and my continued healing!

Psoriasis: In the beginning when I began this journey my scars were visible and embarrassing, to say the least. Now, my 'sores' look like targets. I have big circles like a ring of fire, where the sore began and the center is in the clearing stages. Smooth skin is resurfacing and yes, it's taking its time, but it IS a work in progress moving FORWARD in healing and not getting worse. No new sores appearing.

Arthritis: The pain subsided for months last year as my tumor seemed to grow. Three levels of healing Psoriasis, Arthritis, and the Big C, all taking turns on the healing journey. The signs ARE there! While the pain may be back for a time...

Big C: The tumor is now in the SHRINKING phase. VISIBLY SHRINKING! I can't say much more without showing you a picture (eww gross) and I only wished I was of this techno world that takes a pic of everything just to document my PROOF. But then again let's go back to the Bible... show me pics as proof. (that is sarcasm, friends) We only have words to go on and as this journey of mine, it's all in my words. 

Go back and read my words from the beginning, it's all there. One day, my family might finally stumble upon my words and they'll finally SEE, CHRIST IN ME! As I take baby-steps toward my healing, I am enjoying each and every breath in the day because let's face it, as we enjoy these summer months, one never knows what the next day has in store. Cherish the day! 

May God bless each and every one of you! Have a beautiful Summer! Godspeed...

1 John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

Holy Week ~ Strength in Scripture

SACRIFICE

On this Holiest of Friday’s, the day a man recorded in history as being sacrificed on the cross. Not just any man, the Son of God. Why would a God allow His son to be sacrificed? Because of you, because of me, for the LOVE of sinful man. God became man so he himself could see what was so hard about not sinning. He found that man had to suffer a lot to not WANT to sin. He became sin, who knew no sin, so that we could be saved! I myself, have given my life to Him.

Isa. 53:10 “Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.” NIV

Pss. 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

Pss.54:6 “I will freely sacrifice unto thee: I will praise thy name, O LORD; for it is good.”

Man worshipped false idols, the dark lord, the evil one, the god of sin. The world being overrun with sin needed to be saved on a spiritual level that for many years no one would grasp except the Lord's people. The sinner would go on with his ways gnawing and clawing his way through life while the innocent ones wanted to be saved from the darkness running freely.

Pss. 106:28  “They joined themselves also unto Baal-peor, and ate the sacrifices of the dead.
[37] Yea, they sacrificed their sons and their daughters unto devils,
[38] And shed innocent blood, even the blood of their sons and of their daughters, whom they sacrificed unto the idols of Canaan: and the land was polluted with blood.

Ecc. 9:2 “All things come alike to all: there is one event to the righteous, and to the wicked; to the good and to the clean, and to the unclean; to him that sacrificeth, and to him that sacrificeth not: as is the good, so is the sinner; and he that sweareth, as he that feareth an oath.”

Isa. 43:23 “Thou hast not brought me the small cattle of thy burnt offerings; neither hast thou honoured me with thy sacrifices. I have not caused thee to serve with an offering, nor wearied thee with incense.”
[24] “Thou hast bought me no sweet cane with money, neither hast thou filled me with the fat of thy sacrifices: but thou hast made me to serve with thy sins, thou hast wearied me with thine iniquities.”

Jer. 33: [11] The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, Praise the LORD of hosts: for the LORD is good; for his mercy endureth for ever: and of them that shall bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD. For I will cause to return the captivity of the land, as at the first, saith the LORD.

For the love of sin, man sacrificed the children of the future. 

Eze. 16: 20 “Moreover thou hast taken thy sons and thy daughters, whom thou hast borne unto me, and these hast thou sacrificed unto them to be devoured. Is this of thy whoredoms a small matter,”

Dan 11:31 “And arms shall stand on his part, and they shall pollute the sanctuary of strength, and shall take away the daily sacrifice, and they shall place the abomination that maketh desolate.”

For hundreds of years, man relished sin. 

Hos. 3:4 For the children of Israel shall abide many days without a king, and without a prince, and without a sacrifice, and without an image, and without an ephod, and without teraphim:

There were men and women who knew the Lord and the light of love that He offered and would do anything for this Lord of heaven.

Jonah 2:9 “But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that, that I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD.”

And the Lord prepared to come down to earth from the highest of heaven to save man from his own mass destruction. To finally put to rest the evil that was called to reign as god of the world for a time.

Zeph. 1:7 “Hold thy peace at the presence of the Lord GOD: for the day of the LORD is at hand: for the LORD hath prepared a sacrifice, he hath bid his guests.”
[8] “And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD's sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.”

Mal. 1:14 “But cursed be the deceiver, which hath in his flock a male, and voweth, and sacrificeth unto the LORD a corrupt thing: for I am a great King, saith the LORD of hosts, and my name is dreadful among the heathen.”

And God graced us with his presence after man was consumed with sin. Four hundred years passed between the Old Testament and the New Testament. His words were still known throughout the land as some were filled with God, not sin. The sinful man was the heathen spoke of in Malachi, the sinner in Matthew.

And God came to the earth as a man. An angelic spiritual birth is now known to man across the world, Jesus was born. God became flesh. Man had the opportunity to change from a sinner to a righteous loving man; to save the earth and its people from total destruction.

Matt. 9:13 “But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Mark 12:33 “And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

Acts 49:49 “Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool: what house will ye build me? saith the Lord: or what is the place of my rest?
[50] Hath not my hand made all these things?
[51] Ye stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost: as your fathers did, so do ye.”

Rom. 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

1 Cor. 5:7 “Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:”

Eph. 5:2 “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.”

Hebrews 9:9 “Which was a figure for the time then present, in which were offered both gifts and sacrifices, that could not make him that did the service perfect, as pertaining to the conscience;
[23] It was therefore necessary that the patterns of things in the heavens should be purified with these; but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these.
[26] For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.”

He asks of us:

Heb. 13:15 “By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.
[16] But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.”

And in the 21st century, we continue to fail.

Rev. 2:14 “But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.
[20] Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.”

He died for us and left us with these words among many:

Matt. 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

May the Grace of God reign in all of your hearts

so that you might be blessed by His coming.

All Scripture is from the KJV

Holy Week - Strength in Scripture

Holy Week –Strength in Scripture 

Every day I wake seeking strength from the Word. A reason to go on.

Ex. 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him.”

Deut. 33:25 “Thy shoes shall be iron and brass; and as thy days, so shall thy strength be.”

Most days I feel like a copper penny. No longer in service, tossed away and unneeded. 

Josh 14:11 “As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.”

It’s lonely fighting a war alone. It’s hard being ‘the strong one’ while everyone around you is weak. It’s challenging to want to continue for naught.

1 Sam 2:4 “The bows of the mighty men are broken, and they that stumbled are girded with strength.”

2 Sam 22:33 “God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.”

What other purpose is there to life if I don't have God and heaven to aspire to?

Job 6:11 “What is my strength, that I should hope? and what is mine end, that I should prolong my life?”

Job 39:11 “Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him?”

Pss. 118:1 “I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
[2] The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
[32] It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
[39] For thou hast girded me with strength unto the battle: thou hast subdued under me those that rose up against me.”

My tears are for continued strength that only He can rain down on me. If people look back on my life and wonder WHERE I got my strength from, I get it from HIM and only Him because I’m a solid rock surrounded by a pool of jell-o. 

Pss. 52:7 “Lo, this is the man that made not God his strength; but trusted in the abundance of his riches, and strengthened himself in his wickedness.”

They are weak, while He is strong.

Pss. 71:18 “Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.”

Pss. 73:26 “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

Pss 118:14 “The LORD is my strength and song, and is become my salvation.”

Pss.144:1 “Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:”

And I write…

Prov. 24:5 “A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength.”
[10] If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.

Isa. 22:21 “And I will clothe him with thy robe, and strengthen him with thy girdle, and I will commit thy government into his hand: and he shall be a father to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and to the house of Judah.”

Isa. 35:3 “Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.”

I try to relay a message but only open ears can hear what I’m saying. 

Hab. 3:19 “The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.”

Mark 12:30 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.”

People think it is so hard to follow the Lord. All He wants is your love. Isn’t that all that you want, is to be loved? 

Luke 22:32 “But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren”.

Where I go, you cannot go but know I am in the arms of the Lord. That is the only thing I’ve ever wanted in life… and in death. 

Rom 5:6 “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.”

2 Cor. 12:9 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Poetry Sunday ~ I Was Weeping

Christ-mas display in Texas 

John 19:25-26 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

I was weeping…

There were some who placed Him on the cross;

while others pulled His linen to toss.

Some were poking spears in his side

while women below were weeping and cried.

I was weeping.

Men were standing there mocking Him

some laughed and scoffed as His eyes grew dim.

Wails could be heard all across the way

as God put an end to the longest day.

I was wailing.

Some contend He was a guilty man

but only God knew his master plan.

Carried off to a cold empty tomb,

women followed; their faces bore gloom.

I was full of gloom.

In three days she came looking for

a Man that laid in the tomb no more.

Run and tell men to praise and sing

The Lord has risen, our Savior and King!

I was singing!

While many stood in disbelief

there were some who felt great relief.

Not all men nailed Him to that cross

Some people wept and felt the loss.

I was weeping.

Matt. 28:5-9 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

Feeling Sad

 Writing this, thinking of Christopher I look out the window and see this. 

Col. 3:15 “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”

A Sad Day

I could feel the sadness brewing at the beginning of the week but when Thanksgiving arrived it hit me like a Mack truck running me over, and my body left to lie on the cold concrete as the truck kept going. I always get sad around the holidays missing my family but it hit me harder this year I think because my one and only living son had to work.

I could feel the hustle and bustle coming through my screen as my days are not much more than sitting behind a screen writing my feelings down or cleaning and scrubbing the house to my liking as I prepare for the Christmas season. I just like a clean house so it tends to keep me busy on a daily basis.

It was 34 years ago on Thanksgiving day that I lost my firstborn son. I often think of what my son would be like had he been able to live in this crazy world. Sometimes I’m thankful that he didn’t have to endure years of pain with me as a failing mother and that he resided with his heavenly Father who would shield him from the world's animosity; it doesn’t hurt any less, after all, Christopher was still born!

It’s too long of a story to get into but the gist of it is, the sharp stinging pains started on Thanksgiving Day in 1982, and a doctor visit the next day confirmed my nine-month fetus was lying in a tomb, my body. A week would pass before the dead lifeless baby was delivered and it was one of those changing points in my life that affected me for life. 

Every Thanksgiving Day has been a kind of memorial day for me (no one else) when I think of that day. I don’t cling to the sadness just for that day but the days that followed leading up to Christopher’s birthday, December 2nd. This year was no different as my husband and I sat at an empty table alone, eating our scrumptious dinner that I was ever so grateful to be eating.

I consider myself to be a strong person but there are two days that buckle me to my knees and that is Astri’s birthday and Christopher’s birthday, my two angel babies that didn’t have work to do on earth but had plenty to do in heaven!

So maybe you can sympathize with me as I eagerly made the turkey, the mashed potatoes, yams, and dressing this year but the meal when done, would only fill my husband and my stomach. Tears streamed down my face during prayer as I was missing so much, feeling so empty waiting to be filled. This was Adam’s first Thanksgiving away from the table and I felt the emptiness in the core of my bones.

I watched as family after family rejoiced in spending time with one another. Picture after picture of sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles all gathering around for what was to culminate in a family tradition. Family time together, that is what Thanksgiving is to many people but I do know a few who celebrated alone and maybe no one offered a prayer for them (but me) because they were too busy being thankful for what was in front of them.

I think in some way I shaped my own family tradition of loneliness on Thanksgiving Day and not really understanding or comprehending what Family Tradition is all about. My family back home celebrated in their own non-traditional way. My brother invited my mother to his house, my other brother went to his families home, while my other two brothers and sister all ate alone, like me. (My one brother is homeless, the other alone in Tennessee, my sister's kids all ate at their friend's house, I guess, because tradition is not the norm for my blood family)

It’s pretty sad when you miss family because of a death and they’re no longer with you to celebrate, or you live too far away to get together for the turkey day celebration, but it is quite downright pathetic when you have a big uncaring family and you’re left alone on the holiday even without a simple holiday greeting of Happy Thanksgiving! Just so you know, *I* DID make the effort to extend a greeting to those blood family members who are my ‘friends’ on facebook. A huge family and two replies, wow that made my day.

Now my virtual family all replies when you say Happy Thanksgiving to make you feel like some part of their family and celebration; that takes the sting off of feeling depressed during the holiday. Had it not been for them, I would have probably spent the day puddled in tears, feeling hurt and throwing myself a pity party.

My writing break is not over yet but I just had to get this off of my chest and writing is my only healing spot. Thank you all for reading but most off all THANK YOU for allowing me to see traditions through your eyes and letting me know that families DO exist in the world today! Thank you for sharing you with me!

See it or not, this cross was for me. 

The Weight Of The Matter

Matt. 11: 28-29 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Last year when I got married I sent my mother wedding pictures. The first thing she said to me when she received them was, “You put on weight.” What I heard was, “You’re fat you need to diet and lose weight!” But she immediately followed it up with, “but you look GOOD!” Whew, she scared me there for a minute.

You see, when I left home thirteen years ago my weight was borderline undernourishment at 105-110 lbs. I’m 5’4” and it might be what the medical charts at the time deemed a normal weight for my height, I felt too thin when my jeans of teen years of a size 3-5 fit. After arriving in Texas I began eating regularly and could feel my health in my weight gain change.

I wasn’t scared or paranoid because I knew I was still taking care of myself, walking and getting a decent amount of exercise with the amount of food I was eating. As years passed by I did put on weight and I grew to a whopping 130 lbs. And ballooning into a size 7! It sounds like a lot to me because this was 25 added pounds but everyone keeps saying over and over that with age comes weight gain. And well, I’m not a teen anymore.

I recently looked at a weight chart to see what is normal for a 5’4” woman and wouldn’t you know, I’m now a ‘normal’ weight for my height? I was never concerned with my weight before, never owning a scale and the only time I was weighed was when I had a doctor visit, in other words, hardly ever. 

When I talked to my brother last year, he told me that my dad, on his deathbed, took one look at his son and said, “You put on weight.” (My nephew had lost a large amount of weight but apparently gained some of it back), that is what my dad was referring to but I can bet my nephew heard the same thing I did when my mother told me I had put on weight. 

I never noticed it before but it seems it’s all about weight. My sister is too skinny, my cousin is too big, ‘I’ have gained weight, my nephew has put on weight, my (overweight) aunt lost too much weight when she got cancer and became unrecognizable as a thin woman and it goes on and on! Not just in my family, I see a lot of friends with health issues and weight problems and I think to  myself, what is the world coming to that we judge people by the size of their weight?

How and why have we as a human race become so obsessed with our weight and our looks? Why do we feel that we need to be a certain way so as not to be scrutinized? Why can’t we age gracefully and with dignity? So what if your hair gets thinner and grayer as you get older? So what if you get beautiful ‘I lived life’ lines on your face? Why does everyone need to point out that ‘yes’ with age things change?

Well, I used this in a post on facebook five years ago and it had nothing to do with the political year, mind you. "Change is change. Trees change every season do we complain? Our perennials change, do we gripe? Sometimes we just need to learn something from a change, whether good or bad, in one way or another, we too will be changed because of change."

When Jesus was carrying the cross, it was never about the weight of the cross. He knew that with that cross there was going to be change, change that people would HAVE to accept or deny. He was more than willing to carry the weight of a HUMAN RACE. That’s right people, He knew no color, He did not pick and choose what gender was right or wrong. He didn’t separate Himself from the heavy and the thin. The only weight He knew was the weight of the cross and that for thousands of years (ages) the cross would carry change!

Listen people, we’re on the threshold of change. Yes this is a political year and there is going to be change, for better or for worse, change is inevitable. You’re getting older, there is going to be changes in your body and health. That little baby you’re holding, he/she is going to change. He won’t be a baby forever and you my friend are not going to be young forever.

Instead of pointing out and poking fun at the changes taking place, embrace them! Yes, you're getting older, grayer, heavier, thinner, wrinklier, weightier but know this, there is no burden too big that the Cross didn’t bear at the finish line. Carrying the cross was bigger than any challenge that you and I face on a daily basis. Think about that.

I think I see why non-believers don’t believe in the Jesus story because who in their right mind would carry a cross and be hung on it for millions of people nevertheless a single friend. We live in a selfish society that won’t even let the slow driver in front of us enjoy their ride at a slow pace because we’re in a hurry to be first. We live in a society that doesn’t embrace change unless it’s our make-up and hair color, we live in a world where it is all about the facade.

When you meet someone for the first time, before looking at their size, or how many wrinkles they have or how gray their hair is, notice first that they are human and are living life, aging and growing just like you! If you see a person's inner beauty first, you won’t even see their outer shell for judgment.

2 Cor. 4:17 “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;”

When The Cock Crows

Matt. 26: 34 “Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.”

When the Cock Crows

Every morning before the sun peeks it’s lovely head over the horizon I hear something off in the distance, a rooster bidding me good morning. I always think of those words Jesus said to Peter, that he would deny him three times before the cock crows.

I often think of the bustling world out there. People rising from bed, going off to work, eating, coming home, sleeping to do the same tedious routine over and over again. Many people get into the mundane routine daily denying Christ. They don’t think they’ve been denying Him because hey, they read the bible, pray for people, go to church. What else could there be?

I feel like I’ve been picking on the Christian faith lately and I’ve prayed about why God is calling me to write what I write. I get this answer, “Because they are denying Me.” Well thanks God, could you give me a little more to go with? Then I wake up, hear the cock crow and on my heart is writing as I breathe in the morning air.

What does God mean when He says they are denying me? Think about it, what did Jesus mean when He told Peter? He knew that His beloved Peter would claim not to know Him in his WORDS and his ACTIONS! One night Peter is declaring his undying love, claiming he’d walk through fire for Jesus, then when Jesus needed his support the most, he denied knowing Him.

This is what has become of the Christian faith. People claim to follow Christ but in all of their actions and words they are denying Him on a daily basis! Sure you can place a little fish bumper sticker on your car to declare you’re a Christian but as you load up the car with a case of beer, what is that SHOWING the world? That you’re just buying booze for your mother? Why not, she’s a Christian too, right?

I do understand the whole drinking in moderation but when it becomes a weekly bout of inebriation is that what the Bible meant when it said ‘drink and be merry’?

Luke 12: “And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.”

When Jesus declares ‘bridleth your tongue’ did he want you to cross your eyes and look at yourself sticking your tongue out? No! He meant that what comes out of your mouth will show your true identity in Christ. What you show the world is how you show Christ in you. The mask you hide behind in your daily routine is denying Christ. Imagine Peter when he wasn’t
surrounded by his friends in Christ, trembling and shaking when it came time to declare knowing Him. 

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

Is drinking alcohol denying Christ? No. Is disobeying the Ten Commandments denying Him? Not at all. Is denying Jesus [in you] to the world denying Christ? You bet. 

Mark 12:30 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

33 And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

The people of the world are so busy conforming, trying to fit in, and one-upping their neighbor for popularities sake, they lose the Christ in them and are content with just knowing Him. Here it is in a nutshell, just knowing Him is in essence denying Him. To love Him with all of the heart, all understanding, strength, and to love thy neighbor as you LOVE THY SELF! 

If you hate a person just because their values don’t agree with yours, that is hating your neighbor. I pray for the souls who don’t understand what it means to have Christ in them, shining out ward to the world so that the world sees Christ IN YOU! 

Matt. 10:33 “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.”

While Jesus showed anger at the demoralizing of the church, He did not HATE the men [neighbor] who hung him on the cross. What you see around you in the world today is the cock crowing, the world has denied Christ. Through images and idol worship, through the demeaning demoralizing of the Church, Christ is being denied. Through your actions and words you have denied the living God.

May God have mercy on you, bless and keep you. 

Thank you Lord, for allowing me to be a messenger.

Prov. 10:20 “The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth.”

They killed him... to save a child

Concordia, Kansas

Matt. 10:38 “And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.”

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now about the seventeen-year-old gorilla Harambe.

Defending what they [officials] did because of the uproar of an innocent gorilla being shot to death, "That child's life was in danger. People who question that don't understand you can't take a risk with a silverback gorilla - this is a dangerous animal," Cincinnati Zoo Director Thane Maynard said.

The unattended child climbed through a protective barrier then fell fifteen feet and the fall didn’t kill him my guess is because he landed in the water below. That was the water of the endangered gorilla’s home. Harambe saw the child and ran over and the humongous gorilla looked like he was petting the boy, then he dragged him around the exhibit as the much watched video shows. He wasn’t aggressively shaking the boy and showed no signs of hurting him but quick action called for this almost extinct gorilla to be killed.

This is just another uproar since the demise of Cecil the Lion was inhumanely killed, by yet another Doctor, of a different field, but a doctor nonetheless. What has me bewildered is the reason for this post. Why did they kill the gorilla when he was not showing aggression? They couldn’t distract him? They couldn’t steer the screaming people above AWAY from the exhibit? I do understand that the child’s life matters but is this any different than the police officer who shoots first, explains later?

Anyway, the media spinmasters are doing their turn on the wheels of the matter. I see people posting memes about abortions? That people care more about some gorilla than the hundreds of babies killed everyday in abortion clinics? I’d like to put my spin on the matter: People care more about pointing fingers at others than they do pointing a finger at their own self?

I don’t know why this issue called to my mind a time where a man was being hung on a cross. Some cried out in disbelief, some were shedding tears of sorrow, and some were just standing around gawking waiting for the man to die. We claim to have come so far in thousands of years but essentially we are right there in the crowd, pointing, gawking or crying. 

I’m the one shedding tears of sorrow that human beings have not learned how to be civil to one another and we are still to this day hanging people on a cross when they’re right or wrong. Children die, people are careless, men are trigger happy all in the name of justice? Whose justice?

While you are all busy pointing fingers and gawking, allow me to ask you this, if you believe in heaven and that you have a slight chance of making it there, who do you think will be there with you? You think you’ll have a seat next to Mother Teresa? Saint Patrick? Peter, Paul, Mary? Let me enlighten you a bit, that person you’re laughing at, making fun of, taunting and lashing out at will be there right beside you. You might have to look him/her straight in the face and explain why you hated them so much before you enter heaven. That will be justice; the sweet smell of justice in the umpth degree!

THIS is the very reason we are to love our enemy as we love ourselves. It’s not to make ME feel better it is to make Him know and understand the reason He died on the cross for you. If you don’t practice what He preached, then He died in vain. 

1 Cor. 1:17 “For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.”

Poetry Sunday ~ Come To Me

Matt. 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Come To Me

Come all who are heavy laden

The burden too strong to bear

Come one come all you sinning men

In My arms feel no despair.

Rivers of living water flow

I see the streams in you

Come all who are heavy laden

The cross is the least I can do.

Come all who are heavy laden

A shadow veils your face.

Come to me you restless spirit

Be free of this sinful place.

Come all who are heavy laden

To rest your weary soul.

I am the Lord your Savior

Through me you can be whole.

Isa. 59:1 “Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear:”

Poetry Sunday ~ I Give Thanks

1 Chron. 16: 8 Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.

 

 I Give Thanks

 For all we are and all we do

we give our thanks each day.

We live, grow, change and mend

I give my thanks and pray.

I thank my mother and father

for all the things they gave.

Within their hand they held my life

but only One could save.

I led the life He wanted for me

although the road was rough.

I never look back with any regret

the rocky roads were tough.

The path was laid before we were born

the forks were all in place.

Which we chose was a cosmic bend

that altered time and space.

I found a cross in my walk

as I wandered through each year.

Whimsical times and frenzied mind

He made it all seem clear.

The crystal shell lay in shards

glass was torn to pieces.

He put them all together again

my love for Him never ceases!

I thank the Lord for carrying me

through my most daunting days.

I’m mended now because of Him,

a path of newfound ways.

Lent ~ The Season of Renewal

“Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation because He’s trying to change your heart.” 

~ from Peace Be With You

Lent defined is this: the period preceding Easter that in the Christian Church is devoted to fasting, abstinence, and penitence in commemoration of Christ's fasting in the wilderness. In the Western Church it runs from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday and so includes forty weekdays.

Dan. 9: And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplication, with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes:

I was raised in the Catholic religion and that meant Ash Wednesday we children would be marched off from School, across the street to the Church where we’d have a service and receive ashes in the form of the cross on our foreheads. The church always smelled so good on Ash Wednesday, the odor lingered for hours after the service departure.

We were not to remove the ashes and had to wear the cross of ashes on our forehead until it wore off or the next day. Imagine how that went over in a non-religious community. Boy was THAT a heavy load to carry a cross on my forehead for hours on end! But then it really made me think of the cross Jesus had to carry and it really was the beginning of rooting me in Christ.

I converted at the tender age of fourteen, much to the chagrin of my parents who were Catholic by mouth only, not religious by any means, they just deemed themselves Catholic. Christianity was my new course. I became a Born-again Christian.

I was mocked and persecuted more for becoming born-again than the ashes I wore on my forehead. Christianity was a heavier cross but one I was willing to carry for the rest of my life. It was as if I had become the bridesmaid and married Christ.

When I put it that way, it makes more sense doesn’t it? In marriage you vow to love, honor and cherish until death do you part? Well the good news was that I would never part with being married to Christ because He promised eternal life; then the hard part, being submissive and learning to LIVE Christ, another heavy cross.

Lent isn’t always about ‘giving something up’, it can also be about adding something that adds to the Glory of Christ. Say you don’t attend church, for Lent, you might want to attend every Sunday finishing up with the Easter service. A lot of people only attend TWO services a year, Easter and Christmas. Why? Doesn’t make sense.

Say you want to add time to your bible reading for lent; maybe attend a bible study group. All of these are a form of the sacrifice that Lent calls for. Adding bible scripture posts to your facebook wall IS NOT glorifying God, it is glorifying YOU. Glorifying yourself is not what Lent is about.

If it was warmer out, this is the time I’d be outside communing with nature. Instead my communing with nature will have to wait a few days and I’ll just walk and talk to the empty fields that will soon burst forth with life. Yes, to me, communing with nature is communing with God. God IS mother nature. God IS father time. God IS all those emotions you feel running through your veins. BUT God IS NOT hate! When you feel the need to lash out, sure, claim it as ‘just stating an opinion’, but really you are drawing AWAY from God and filling yourself with HATE. Then that negative energy will reseed and grow. That is also NOT what Lent is about.

Lent to me is sacrificing for God. Lent to me is a spiritual renewal ending on Easter Sunday when I celebrate my New Year’s Day. Lent to me is Glorifying God in all I do and not myself.

1 Cor. 7: 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

His Sacrifice

Heb. 10: 26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

His Sacrifice

He did not come as a flaming fire

The manger was His birth.

Angels danced and sang that night

As Jesus graced this earth.

Some won’t hear, some won’t see

He will rise and awaken thee.

He came in silence on a starry night

The great Emmanuel

The sages bowed before Him

A Savior’s tale to tell.

Some won’t listen, most won’t agree

His blood was shed for you and me.

He walked a wrinkled furrowed path

Our sin was His to bear.

Nailed upon the tattered cross

Yet not many gave a care.

Some will watch, some will flee

God in man now trinity.

He came to show us how to love

Not live in prideful hate

He offers us a straightened path

But narrow is the gate.

Some will follow, some will be

A Light for all of the world to see.

Matt. 7: 14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Testimony

Pss. 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.

Why all the testimonies lately? I guess because it is what God is calling His people to do. My friend Debbie gives a testimony as she has fought and is winning the battle with breast cancer. Tom had a testimony about his heater and had it happened just two days later, he’d be sitting in the cold unable to fix what was broken. (he’s having surgery immobilizing him for days.)  My friend Steve is also battling and winning the fight with cancer, and I myself have given testimony to the many blessings the Lord has put in my life. And the list goes on.

A testimony of Christ is a Christian, baring his/her soul of their struggles and showing you, possibly a non-believer, how He has worked victoriously in our lives.

Take for instance Sunday. We made it to church on Sunday (read previous posts.) What I left out of the already 800 word post was this:

We went to a beautiful service but when we walked out to the car, there under the car was a puddle.

“Is that supposed to be there? Or is it from another car?” I so blondely asked.

“Yes honey.” Is the smart response I got.

I could SEE it was from our car, but we got in, it started right up and off we drove. Church is about 20 –25 miles from home and as we pulled into our driveway, went to park, it just conked right out. It started right back up to be put in its place, but I was amazed that God had gotten us to our front door before the car conked out.

What a blessing, what a testimony.

I’m in a Prayer Partner group on facebook and while many are in need of prayer, it is always later related by a testimony of just HOW those prayers were answered. I’m sensing a thread that ties the two together. Prayer request ---> Prayers go out ---> Prayers answered ---> testimony. Prayer for a struggling soul ---> Prayers go out --- > Prayers answered --- > Testimony. It goes on and on.

It’s as if God is calling His people to prayer. I know quite a few people of different religions and the one thing that bonds those religions together is prayer. And through prayer healing occurs.

Now back to the car. Steven called his brother, the mechanic and asked him if he could look at it. Well that meant a trip, in the car, to Axtel. His brother, always ready to help his lil bro out said, “Sure bring it out.”

His brother was off on Thursday so that is when Steven loaded up the car with water and anti-freeze, bright and early because Steven had to be into work at 11. I loaded up on the prayer because I knew it was a good 20-25 miles from where we are.

Steven called at ten o'clock from Kearney and asked me to come take him to work. I had the truck, so off in the nasty wind I road. The car had made it to Axtel AND into Kearney where it now sits, I say ‘hospitalized’ (at a garage.)

Okay, so I haven’t got my miracle car fixed and who knows where the money will come from, but I do know, the radiator had a hole in it, needs to be replaced and it won’t be home from the ‘hospital’ until Tuesday. It’s okay, my car will be fine and the Lord will provide as He always does. My full testimony will come when I receive the message as to why and what reason the car got sick at this time.

The point of my story is this, God calls us to give testimony to all the glory and blessings in our life so that maybe just one person might be touched and also want to plant a seed. That’s what God’s gift to us is all about; it isn’t just about the cross and what was done to save us, it is about what is in the here and now and what we can DO to save others and possibly give them hope in their tomorrow. Get it?

The cross is OURS to bear. We either take it on or just walk, no seeds, no testimony, just walk. Maybe that is what your faith is all about to you, just walking and waiting for heaven. Me, I like to think of my faith as a seed that I plant; I carry the cross to watch those around me bloom!

He did it for me, it’s the LEAST and I do mean LEAST I can do for Him.

Pss. 119: 88 Quicken me after thy lovingkindness; so shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth.

Poetry Sunday ~ I was weeping...

John 19:25-26 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

I was weeping…

There were some who placed Him on the cross;

while others pulled His linen to toss.

Some were poking spears in his side

while women below were weeping and cried.

I was weeping.

Men were standing there mocking Him

some laughed and scoffed as His eyes grew dim.

Wails could be heard all across the way

as God put an end to the longest day.

I was wailing.

Some contend He was a guilty man

but only God knew his master plan.

Carried off to a cold empty tomb,

women followed; their faces bore gloom.

I was full of gloom.

In three days she came looking for

a Man that laid in the tomb no more.

Run and tell men to praise and sing

The Lord has risen, our Savior and King!

I was singing!

While many stood in disbelief

there were some who felt great relief.

Not all men nailed Him to that cross

Some people wept and felt the loss.

I was weeping.

Matt. 28:5-9 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

Nailed for You

1 Tim 1:17 Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Nailed for You

My nails they drip with blood

The pain will never end

I feel no one is listening

To messages I send.

The hustle and hurried world

Goes on without a care,

Ranting about the moment

In the media blitz they share.

Gossip crawls along the floor

Then slowly up the wall

Clinging to the idle ones

I slowly watch them fall.

Was death not enough for them

Were miracles a game?

Are blessings things that they seek

On a whim in my name?

While claiming that they look to me

They’re often caught unaware

Of falling in the pit to hell

Crying out that life’s unfair.

A voice was not given you

To babble like a brook.

Life was freely given

So it’s me to whom you look.

Wasted seasons spent

On anger that you spew

Withered moments now all gone;

Away from me you drew.

The time to call is not at death

Embrace me while you’re living.

To each and every one of you

My blood is well worth giving.

Col. 2:14 Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;