A Blogger No More

Job 13: 13 Hold your peace, let me alone, that I may speak, and let come on me what will.

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I know I’ve whined and moaned about this before, but something is telling me to just give it up. Why?

1) I find no joy in blogging anymore – as you can tell probably from my non-posting?

2) I don’t care to write for myself anymore – tired of pretending there’s an audience out there that likes reading me.

3) I used to find joy in blogging, sharing, comments and meeting friends: I have it no more – all has become silent like the caverns in my mind.

4) Writing has dwindled to a grocery list—and what I do write is probably taken as malicious and misguided.

5) When I find joy in writing, or have something the emptiness might enjoy, I’ll be sure to share.

I don’t like summer by any means whatsoever. I love winter, I enjoy spring and fall is a pleasant season. But summer is just a season where everybody wears next to nothing, prances around for all the voyeurs to see. It is a season of nothingness and shows people for their true colors for sure.

When I go shopping or out in public—even in the summer, my body is covered. Why? Because it is my sacred temple and it is not for people to gawk at, look down upon, or to lust after, it is my temple! Sacred!

I can’t go out and enjoy my garden because the flies think I’m the next best thing to a dead carcass, I’m there to eat. I slather my body in vanilla – which I read was good to deter flies, but when you forget to put it on, you realize that vanilla REALLY works! But then there’s the heat, the long drawn out days of heat. Lounging in the heat is no fun! The flies find the one spot you missed and gnaw at you like an over-ripe peach.

My work in the yard is not enjoyable because I need someone to start the old mower for me and with my beau working and Adam in the healing stages of a surgical procedure, it is all falling on my hands which takes a toll on my mind, body and soul. Mowing is my meditative release from this ugly world I live in.

Sure I see the beauty in each day. Wake up with a renewed love of this world as I watch the birds drink from my homemade birdbath, land on a branch and specifically tweet to me a big thank you!

But I think my long summer is drawn out by being homebound, seeing the outside world once or twice a month and when I do see it, I want to run back home and curl up on the sofa. While my man may enjoy the heat, working on Saturdays and Sundays, missing church, finding pleasure in being out and around people, and being able to shop at his leisure; I find myself in a sheltered world of no movement, shades drawn (so the sun don’t heat the house) and no AC because it costs too much.

I’m alone to do what; clean, wash clothes, my every day mundane chores? Maybe then I could write? No, writing has been sucked out of me like everything else, so I’ll just dwindle until something pulls me back into the realm of the living. For now…I’ll be a  ‘nilla zombie.

Be well people.

Pss. 102: 7 I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.

Word Up!

It's none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way.
Ernest Hemingway

So whats the word...the word up!

Sometimes I read blogs and wonder how all these people keep it up. Do they just fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way? I like to maintain my blog where there is information that people can use and where the posts only go to not more than 500 words. Imagine a thousand word post of nothing, uck! Now if it is coherent, that's a different story

My time is precious to me and although I don’t get done the million things I’d like to, I do like to think that my blog is something worthwhile where readers,writers and passers-by enjoy their visit. Whether it is for educating themselves, (tons of links to dip into over to your left) whether it is for the pictures, ( I have tons of those too for the visually unimpaired), or whether you just come for inspiration, (lots of poetry to scan through also.)

A blog is not a showcase like facebook, where you announce you have to go the bathroom, be right back sort of thing. A blog is a tool to illuminate your world. To allow people to peek in your window in a voyeuristic fashion, so you better give that person the best of you (you know, don’t be caught with your hair in disarray?) Or better yet, don’t be caught babbling about nothing or the people might move on to peek into the next window.

In the windowed world of information, I think peeping toms have gone out of fashion. We can all, in the living room or dens of our home, peek into peoples world, and get caught up in the fascination of, doing absolutely nothing. What would Jesus do? I personally think he’d give a ‘shout out’ to all the wandering sheep and give them an enlightening parable so they can see their way into the light, via understanding.

So this is what my blog is all about. Not a joyride through neighboring communities. Its not a playground where we meet and throw sand in each others face. This is a place where words run into punctuation and somehow form a sentence. Thus this is a tool of understanding.

To you my fellow bloggers, live and learn grow and love. To the voyeurs, there is a life out there and it is happening, whether you live it or not! It’s happening people!

Matt.9:13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.