Walk In Faith

Matt. 6:30 “Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?”

Sometimes in this rushed and hurried world walking in faith is sometimes a struggle. This week alone I needed the armor of a tank to get through. I pulled a muscle in my neck or I have a pinched nerve. I don’t know which exactly it is but the pain left me almost immobile for four days straight. I looked out the window saw the sun shining but couldn’t move to go out and enjoy the seventy-degree days. That meant no walk, no bike, just rest. Sometimes we need to hold onto faith tightly and just trust the Lord in all He is doing.

It’s been one of those weeks where everything goes wrong in the beginning but by the end of the week it turns out to be pretty awesome. I learned a few things this week. I learned it is okay to ask someone for help to do something for you even if it feels like a bother, just ASK! 

I’ve had a pretty stiff neck for the past couple of weeks because of the way I sleep but nothing too painful. But Sunday when I decided to take the trash out and feed the birds, apparently the trash was too heavy as was the bird feed container I carry to fill the birdfeeder. I was too stubborn to ask my son or husband to do the chores for me and the experience taught me a lesson. Let the food in the trash stink up the place, whatever you do, don’t carry the hundred pound potato sacks! That’s how heavy the items felt but the weight was too much on my neck and it rendered me almost 99% immobile by Sunday evening. I could have saved myself a lot of pain had I just asked someone to do the chore for me.

Monday morning found me with my cane and heating pad (blessings) as I sat in my jammies the entire day slowly feeling better but continued resting. The more rest the better is the way I saw the situation. No clothes were washed, no cleaning got done; the men had to fend for themselves, and by the way, made sure MY needs were met. Yeah, they came through for me.

By Tuesday I woke to feel somewhat better but not well enough to clean, do chores and stuff but I was able, albeit a struggle, to take a nice hot shower. I had a writing assignment due and was at a loss on posting the thing, as I could not spend much time on the computer due to the literal pain in my neck! The slightest lowering of my neck or turning it to the left or right was a labor of pain; more rest was necessary. I would give my hubby a percentage of my progress, Tuesday I was at 50% percent feeling better than Sunday. I had washed a load of laundry but was at a standstill when it came time to retrieve the clothes from my very deep washer. I asked for help. I rested more than I worked. I knew my limits and adhered to them strictly.

By Wednesday I was at 80% better! Walking was not hurting, lifting was still an effort but bending my knees when lifting helped immeasurably. I had learned a lot of techniques many years ago when my grandmother had a stroke and needed physical therapy. I was the one who’d be with her daily so I needed to learn techniques in getting her to stand, to lift, to put shoes on etcetera. I didn’t know that I would need the knowledge for myself but it is quite amazing how the techniques all came back to me in an instant.

Wednesday found me asking my son to check the mail. I took over the chore when he got a full-time job working forty to forty-eight hours a week. You might find it funny that retrieving the mail is a chore but just to let you know, my mailbox sits I’d say a half a football field length away from the house if not more. I live in the middle of nowhere remember? The soil is soft, spongy and uncertain terrain in many areas that can jerk the neck into pain all over again so I steered clear of walking, biking and going outside on the beautiful spring-like days.

My mailbox had been overflowing with, you guessed it, the hounding oncology and radiology bills (still) and junk mail but also a card from the angel who has taken a mission upon himself to tuck me under his wing to aid me monetarily so I can continue buying the vitamins, nutrients and even the necessary food. This month’s donation may be used for a knee brace and a foot massager, as both of those will aid me in strengthening my bones and the ability to move in the upcoming cold months.

Since my YouCaring funds have been depleted, I’m on my own now. I should have enough vitamin supplements to get me to January, only because I spent the money wisely on the vitamins most vital to my healing. My physical address can be received by a simple email to jonismuse @ yahoo. com! Or you can ask one of my dear friends for my address as I allow a select few to know my actual whereabouts. Just ask. I would love hearing from the outside world during the holidays as this is going to be a very trying, different Christmas this year as I fight the battle of a lifetime. Unconditional love and support work wonders.

The Survivor

This little fella greeted me on my walk the other day, he survived the recent freeze! 

By Wednesday, late in the day, I felt 90% better so I ventured out and took a small fifteen-minute walk. I could have gone longer but I’m no fool, I will be taking it quite easy for a while before I get back into my crazy insane routines. 

“If diet is wrong, medicine is of no use when diet is correct, medicine is of no need.” ~ Ayurveda teaching

I am still on an extremely low sugar/low carb diet, among other things. The only sugars I get are from NATURAL sources like fruit! I know anything I tell you all about the harm you’re doing your bodies is basically a moot point because, like me, you’ll wait for a death sentence before ever changing your diet. I know we all basically live to die, but yesterday I think I made it quite clear what I’m doing, I’m living to live! Eternal life is my destination and as anything else in and out of this world, the endeavor is no easy task. I walk on faith and that has been one of my strongest assets throughout my life, this time is no different.

God bless each and every one of you for caring for me. That alone has healing powers! 

Deut. 32:20 “And he said, I will hide my face from them, I will see what their end shall be: for they are a very froward generation, children in whom is no faith.”

A Thank You To My Friends

Prov. 18:24 "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

I need to send a shout out

To my online family

The dearest thing that I have

Hovering like a canopy

I tell them that I need help

They run to give me aid.

To me they are essential

The BEST thing that God made!

I call these faithful people friends

Even though we’ve never met

They shower me with support

And love I’ll never forget!

I’ve known some for a decade

Other friendships newly formed

I light up when I see their name

Their words have kept me warmed.

They could have left me out here

Without a care in the world

Instead, they share the burden

In this windowed computer world!

They actually care if I live or die

Their pockets turned inside out

These tender bonds we’ll carry

For years to come no doubt!

I sincerely love these friends of mine

Who treat me like one of their own

I’ll never forget the love they gave

Or the Light from God they’ve shown!

THANK YOU for keeping me ALIVE

God Bless Each and every one of you!

A most sincere indebted Thank you to:

Sara Brittany (niece), Flory (cousin)

Becky, Mike, Ben (Jeffrey), Debbie, Dixie,

DonnaS, Heather, Leona, Stena, B.J Gavina (Jim)

And to ALL of my online FB Friends,

too many to name!

Thank you for your continued support!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

True Friends!

3 John 1:14 But I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face. Peace be to thee. Our friends salute thee. Greet the friends by name.
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I have friends! Sure I do. I have friends that care and love me; respect and admire me. All not within my grasp, because those within my grasp stay as far away as they possibly can. I remember one of my writing friends telling me, “If they knew you, like we knew you, always caring, loving, giving, sharing...they’d love you as much as we do.”

I’ve been down these passed few weeks and it really has nothing to do with anything in general, it has to do with things on a grander scheme. Have you ever missed your family and wanted to see them, only to know in the deepest cavity of your heart, you know that it is not possible to go see them?

Have you ever wandered down a dark alley, all alone and the only light shining is that of a star from a steeple on a church, other than that, you’re alone. Have you ever felt like no one on this planet cared for the pain you were in, then from out of the blue, people, your friends, do something in a grand matter to show you they care, and get this, they expect nothing in return! Friends from one corner of the continent to the other?!?! Amazing people!

Did you ever have a family member from 20 years ago friend request you on facebook, and what? Do they want to be friends NOW? Do they want to know what is going on in my life, so they can insult me and tell all their friends they ‘knew me when’? What do they want from me? They don’t want to be my ‘friend’ that’s for sure and that is the reason I  ignore most of them. They don’t know me, could care less about me, and only want to know OF me.

Whereas my friends in the writing community, they really love me. It’s a family kind of love. You know, the kind I never grew up with, only dreamed about having one day in my life? That unconditional love where they can put someone, in this instance me, in front of their own needs.

We’re a family, us writers and if one has a need, we all circle around to help that writer, and yesterday what arrived at my front door because of the love that they felt for me, just nearly dropped me to my knees. I know I cried puddles of tears to think that these people, none that I have ever physically met in my life, wrapped their love around me, and comforted me in a way no other person could do, they SHOWED they cared. And it was more than what came to my door...it was in the compassion and heartfelt warmth that was carried in the door with it.

Thank you all, mentors, TRUE FRIENDS, from the bottom of my heart. I hope I can give you one tiny measure of happiness that you gave to me abundantly!!! God Bless you all!!!

Jas.2:23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.

Color My World

Gal. 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
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If you’re a writer, you have a box of crayons filled with a million different colors in your arsenal! “I do?” you might say. YES! I do say. Their just there waiting to be wielded!

The writing world is not made up of simple descriptions, forthright sentences with nothing in them; we need to color our world with vivid lucid colorings of words. We need to liven our work up with colors. Does a painter just use black and white? Rarely. He uses the most vivid colors he has to bring forth a beautiful painting that each person who beholds it will paint their own thoughts and descriptions with.

Writers are artist too. And I don’t mean color your sentences with color here, either.

The fuzzy brown dog jumped over the fence.

Yes brown is a color but I bet that sentence can vibrate with sensual color if given a chance.

Lucky, the furry brown rambunctious dog, decided to go for a stroll passing over the short wooden fence on his way to romp.

Doesn’t that sentence just come to life with an extra few words?  It not only added dimension, it gave the dog a name and a purpose. The sentence is now alive with color.

Now some people like too much color in their world. They paint the world around them with false images, in essence a false reality. Pastor Tim said once, “Things aren’t always what they seem.” This is so true. People paint themselves into a corner of believing and loving all the false images that they see before them; never really knowing or appreciating the real things in life.

Writers paint an illusion also. It’s an illusion that you grasp whether it is in fairy tales, fantasy, horror, or sci-fi. All an illusion. We’re magicians of the worded world. The color that writers give to the world can shape a magnitude of untouched areas in the mind. Think about that.

I received eight books yesterday from a dear friend. She probably don’t want me boasting about it, because it was a kind act that I know the Lord will richly reward her for doing. But these books are poets and short stories, and literature. All for me and do you know what those books will do? No, not sit on a shelf, they will color my world!

Upon opening the box, tears started flowing down my cheeks. They were joyful tears mind you, but tears nonetheless. Someone cared enough about me to give me a part of themselves. Not many people do that, you know. That is what it is all about, people! When we let go of selfishness and give love unconditionally, we then begin to color our world, with rainbows! Dancing magical rainbows!

The magic of the world is filled with rainbows, imagine that!

A 'DO NOT read' post

John 17:5 And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.
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Just when you think someone cares...

Have you ever been writing until your fingers bled, anxiously anticipated sharing only to find that nobody really cares about your writing? Today I’m going to throw myself a pity party with hats, balloons, streamers and noisemakers, yeah especially noisemakers. You’re all invited to come, but no one will show, it’ll just be me, a woman and her thoughts.

I have this quote it goes something like, “Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself. ~Harlan Ellison, and really that is all we’re doing because nobody really cares what you write.

We can pretend, we can read what others write, we can comment out our gazoos, or not, but what it really boils down to is, nobody gives a flying fig. Everyone cares about himself or herself, and everything else is just there, a fly on the wall being looked at ready to swat it out of the way first chance you get.

I feel my writing has been put on hold while I take care of everyone else. I throw myself into situations of aiding and forget that sometimes I am the one who needs the assistance. Does anybody care? Does anyone know that this is what’s happening to me? No, of course not because they are busy obsessing and consuming themselves with themselves. Selfishly devouring all that they can muster while a withered leaf gets tossed under the snow mound. They are a sort of self mutilating cannibal, eating and drinking of whatever it is that THEY have to
offer/want/need and forget about the lil guy or in this case, gal.

Today is the day (okay I tell myself this all the time) that I am going to put a halt to my placating of others and tend to my own needs. I’m going to be a self mutilating cannibal and consume myself, with myself, remembering those that forgot me and forgetting those that pretended to remember me.
 
Sometimes it scares me to be a writer.
 
“From the earliest records of ancient civilizations to the most recent works produced by modernity, the history of literature bears witness to the creative power of the human mind. We have before us a vast library of stories, plays, and poetry to enjoy at our leisure, but in some cases this creativity came with a price – the life of the creator.” Ketterer Brandt
 
From Hemmingway to Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf  to John Kennedy Toole all authors who decided maybe writing just wasn’t in the cards for them. The list is long, the lives are many, writers write because they love to write, they die, because maybe they were faced with cannibals too.
***
From Lord of the Rings ~ J.R.R. Tolkien’s work

Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon and the orchards will be in blossom, and the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And the whistle in the summer barley in the Lower fields. And eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
 
Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. I'm naked in the dark. There's nothing--no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes.