We're Married

Matt. 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

It took some time getting here but we finally did it, we got married! I went over some of the things we’ve endured over the past thirteen years in an earlier blog post so I won’t go on repeating. I will say that after Steven got his sight back that is when things started to shift for us.

When I chose the date for when the marriage would take place, I had to have the numbers align. I know, I’m crazy, but just any old day was not good enough. This is a wedding, a marriage that will last a lifetime if we’re lucky so the date had to have SOME significance to it.

I chose May 13, 2015 for a reason, here goes: We’ve been together 13 years. My grandmother (and grandfather) who passed away when I was eight lived at 1313 and my Great Grandmother lived at 1315. 5-13-15 seemed significant. 13 years, 13 13, 13 15, the numbers just all looked right, so I picked that day. My grandmother died in March and my grandfather in May, May 22^nd to be exact but a friend of mine already had that as a wedding day. My other grandmother passed away on 3 15, so there you have it, all the numbers lined up for me.

Unbeknownst to me, when I told my niece of the day she said, “That’s cool, that is the day Matt and I got married!” I wasn’t back home when my niece got married so I didn’t remember her specific day of marriage but it made mine all the more significant.

The courthouse held significance because of its historic beauty. When we first arrived in Nebraska that was the courthouse we had to go to get my license changed over and Steven was having his put to sleep for a few years until his sight would be restored. The wood aroma that clung to every nook and cranny of the place was reminiscent of my childhood vacation Bible School. Isn’t it funny how those old smells will revive an old memory?

It is also the courthouse where I would file and be granted my divorce. Minden was now a part of my life. My marriage to Steven in the Minden courthouse would be planted permanently in my history book.

The judge asked if we wanted the marriage to take place in the courtroom, but I wanted it in between floors in front of a picturesque window. We had been there almost an hour and had only seen one person walk the stairs, so yes, in between floors was the perfect spot! My sister-in-law would take the pictures and my son and mother-in-law would be our witnesses.

The ceremony went off without a hitch (no pun intended) and we signed the legal documents and were on our way. Mom-in-law was treating us all to a meal at the place of our choice. I chose Applebees a lovely restaurant neither Steven nor I had been to before. The menus were served as were drinks and we had a most delicious meal, Steven with his steak and taters on the side, I with my chicken and shrimp smothered in garlic sauce with mushrooms and onions on the side. WOW! Then onto dessert; I think I gained ten pounds from that one meal! One meal that was SOOOO worth it!

The desserts were not of the normal cake and pie stature. No, this place had fancy-schmancy desserts. Steven had deep-fried battered pretzels, drizzled with caramel and an icing dip on the side! He had about ten to fifteen bites on the plate and I tried one and it was AWESOME! Me, I had a strawberry shortcake cheesecake with whipped topping! It was a small cup filled with delight. That is why I ordered it after eating such a hearty meal; I never eat dessert but this was too hard to resist.

We ate, laughed, giggled and chatted then we all parted. The in-laws brought Adam home and Steven and I went for a ride. Where to? I chose the cemetery where his father and grandmother are laid to rest. Steven hasn’t been there since we returned to Nebraska and I made a promise to his deceased father that I would see to it that Steven would be there when we got married. It seemed fitting to include his dad in the day in our small way.

Without all the intimate details, we ended the day with a movie. I chose You’ve Got Mail for obvious reasons to those who know our story. And today the 14^th we will venture out and see the movie that has been most anticipated to see on his list, The Avengers:Age of Ultron. I’m not a Marvel fan and The Avengers was a so so movie to me, but this is where the art of compromise comes in, in the marriage. I’ll go see it because he loves it! He’ll go see The Minion movie when it comes out in July. hahahaha

We woke this morning and I said, “Good morning, hubby.”

When he woke he said, “Morning Wife!”

And the story that doesn’t end… goes on and on my friends. 

*names/places changed for protection

We're Getting Married

Rom. 6:14-15  “For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.”

We’re Getting Married

After thirteen years together we’re finally getting married on Wednesday, May 13th. Many will ask, “A Wednesday?”

Yes, a Wednesday at the Historic Courthouse of Minden, Nebraska. (see pic above taken from google pics)

Why a courthouse? Well let me tell you.

When Steven realized I didn’t want all the glitz and glamor of a wedding (been there done that) I think we both realized it might be time to get married. We’ve had a tough road laid out for us in the beginning, what with meeting online, both committing sin neither of us were too happy about committing. (He being divorced, me being married but separated kept us from nuptials.)

We both talked about marriage, we both wanted it but with obstacles in our way and climbing hurdles the task became too much. I won’t say money hindered us because any time we needed ANYTHING the good Lord provided for us, so it wasn’t necessarily money keeping us from marriage.

Many of my friends and readers know about Steven going blind a few years ago, so there was that. Then we had doctor appointments upon doctor appointments, in Omaha no less and yes funds came out of the woodwork to get us from point A to point B.

Our church made it quite clear a few times (not just once) that they could not marry us as long as we were living in sin! They told us point blank that we needed to separate for a few months, date other people and if we found our way back to one another than this is what God has brought together.

Umm…wait, God didn’t bring us together thirteen years ago? For crying out loud we met through a screen! God had no hand in that? We chatted online for ten months before my husband threw his son and me out of the house and told us he never wanted to see us again. (Trust me on this one, it had more to do with his mental instability than any friend I had online.)

My ex had been struggling for YEARS (I stayed 20 of them) and there was no help or aid on this earth that could see this man through (and to this day still hasn’t). He wanted nothing to do with his son, he only wanted to control and obsess over me and a friend on the net came and saved my life! THAT is how *I* see it.

To this day I still say that it was God who brought Steven to my front door. While on the net, there were many girls and guys who knew my predicament and wanted to help but Steven is the only one who loaded up his truck and made his way from Texas to Baltimore to save me, a damsel in distress.

Where was my family? They knew my ex was obsessed with me and a control freak and my brother-in-law even tried to get his minister to help. It didn’t help, my ex just tried to control and manipulate that situation too. My family was giving up on him and saw no way to help my son and ME so I left and have NEVER looked backed!

I chose the road less traveled! Now to be told by the church and the very people I was trusting with my life that Steven and I had to separate, put me in a whirlwind of confusion. Where would I go? I can’t go back home. I don’t want to SEE other men. I don’t want to separate. Those were the rules. Rules we never agreed to so we settled on a courthouse wedding where the LAW wouldn’t deny us.

Thirty-seven years of always being controlled and owned I was thrown into a new state, Texas, miles and miles away from home for the first time in my life. The first weeks maybe months I was scared, so much so anxiety attacks took over and many nights of tears were being shed for my loneliness and my son who was seven, who didn’t understand one thing going on around him.

Steven and I grew. We fell in love. I was urged to divorce my (ex) husband after all of his false promises to do so fell apart. To this day I don’t even know if he knows we’re divorced. I do know he is living in Florida somewhere with his brother, but he still has no contact with the son he left behind.

The light at the end of the tunnel, Nebraska, became our saving grace. In Texas, Steven was going blind and he wanted to be near his family. His family and the good Lord saw to it that our journey was well blessed. A home, food and a good family surrounding us, we were well on our way. ONLY with God’s blessing did we get this far; and now we’re asked to separate by our Church, whom we’ve grown to love and trust?

I asked God what He wanted and well, marriage was the answer to our dilemma and again HE said He’d bless our journey. I’m not going to get into what God said to me, I DO have some things I keep private. I’m glad Steven and I took the time to get to know each other and grow in love together before we jumped into marriage. Nowadays marriage is not a sacred ceremony, people do it to just get it done and over with but we waited for God and HIS blessing on this union and so here we are.

We could have searched and found a church in Nebraska to marry us but we kind of feel let down by the entire institution. Don’t get me wrong; I understand completely that it is OUR sin that was not accepted and I’m okay with that, but you know what? Jesus died for OUR sin and HE accepts us.

Rom. 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Instead of a rinky-dink newly built courthouse, I chose the Historic courthouse of Minden Nebraska, built by the some of the very first settlers in the state of Nebraska.

God has blessed our journey and has brought us to this path in life. May He continue to watch over and fruitfully bless our journey.