Spiritually Speaking

1 Cor. 1:26 "For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:"

Spiritually Speaking

The day I came home from my first round of chemo, my body felt like it was pulled out of an ice chest, set in the car, and told to go home and fend for yourself. Basically, that is what happened when the lady behind the desk looked at me stupidly and asked, “Is that all for today?” I’m not a cursing woman but I’m sure my eyes poked hers out with the daggers I was slinging at her.

Luckily, I had taken a small blanket that Steven quickly wrapped around me as he saw the chills were getting the best of me as he buckled me in the truck. Yeah, you’re at the whim of everyone when this takes place and luckily I got one of those good men that can handle taking care of me. 

But the white dove… when he made an appearance earlier in the week, I knew he was spiritually telling me that things were going to be alright. I haven’t seen him since mind you. Things just didn’t feel like they were all going to be okay at this moment as every bone jingled, every tooth chattered, and tears, well, of course, they were not in short supply, they overflowed my eyes like the Niagara Falls!

I got home, was helped into the house, helped into my pajamas (with a hefty blanket wrapped around me, mind you) and laid back on the bed. I fell asleep instantly. I woke to pee a couple of hours later, took a pain pill then it was back to sleep until the next day. 

The next day I woke to feel very stiff, hungry as all get out because a pretzel was the gist of my food the day prior, and I felt like I was in the Cone of Silence, I spoke in whispers, and no one heard. I was in a fog. Luckily Steven had off that day because I would’ve been no good to take care of myself. Honestly, a couple days passed before I can say I consciously remember what happened.  

I wasn’t hit with a ton of side effects and chills were the main thing on the day of treatment, to look out for. I was told they’d call and see if everything was alright on Friday but it was Tuesday before they called and asked if I had found the bottle of poison I passed on months ago. It was an Estrogen blocker but the side effects were worse than the chemo Herceptin and I quite clearly told her I was not comfortable with taking them. I found an alternative blocker and told her that THIS is what I’m taking, the only side effect was a possible headache. I’m okay with that.  The doc didn’t understand why I wasn’t willing to take a prescription DRUG with an arm's length of side effects including liver damage, possible heart damage, hair loss, and a lot of other losses I just am not willing to gamble with! He needs to see the bottle of what I’m taking and I’ll show it to him, next week on my second trip of a ten-year dance with chemo. (The Doc is a he, Navigator is a she)

I knew my birthday was coming up and I was so glad to finally relax and have a ray of light shine in my window after the floods and snow absorbed my mind and chemo stole my positive line of thinking. I was losing hope and this is not something I’m familiar with! It is totally foreign to me! I’m upbeat and overflowing with positivity! 

Thursday would be a Joni day! My son was coming out to see me to give me my gift, (because he’d be working on my birthday) and my mother in law wanted to come out and see me too, because on Saturday my nephew, her grandson, was getting married. I haven’t seen her since Christmas, so that would be nice. I wanted to hear how the flood affected her little town that made National News for the first time in their lives I imagine. She had not seen any of my progress since December and I’ve come along way since then. She had no idea about my choice of doing chemo. She had company the week before and I was too shaken by the events to rain on her parade so I kept it personal. Okay, my online friends knew more than my family, just so you know!

My son got me an awesome sketch pad and an extremely nice pencil set so I can get back into my sketching. I need to refocus on something more than Facebook and just writing about the Big C. I need to focus on my passions and love! My drawing, my poetry, my gift. My story, my husband and my son are number one in my life so I need to focus on caring for them, but also nurture the passions and gifts that God gave me. My M-I-L brought me a card with money (always needed and helpful) and a soft cuddly bear with inspirational words attached to her ribbon. I named her Harmony, a grayish bear with one black ear! A precious addition to my growing stuffed family.

I was slowly feeling uplifted, but I needed to be careful because one thought, one memory could just knock me down. Saturday, my birthday arrived, I was going out to enjoy my day and have Chinese food! Woohoo! I’m on a strict protocol but sometimes the strictness binds me and it gets me down. It would take a knock on my door and a beautiful flower from someone many miles away to boldly lift my spirits! Online friends who can reach your front door with acts of kindness need their own special blessing because I’m telling you, it started a snowball of an all-around good day!!! Thank you! 

At the Chinese restaurant, I got the garden medley. My goodness, green pepper, broccoli, mushrooms, onions, carrots, and more in a nice sauce, with rice on the side! It had been gray and dreary and my one wish, my one prayer was for some sun not only for my birthday but for my nephew who was getting married outside at his family's home where he grew up. He wanted a special day as much as I did. As I walked out the door to go on my adventure, the sun came out!!!  Bright and beautiful with a little blue sky in the mixture. It was going to be a great day! What a meal I had! I bet it was a really nice wedding, too. Because of my disability, I like to spare people the burden of coddling me when something more important than me is taking place. 

I was feeling hopeful but I’m telling you it only takes one thing and wham, I’m down. Sunday it would be my talk to my mother. She is so depressing. She says over and over how lonely she is, how she has nothing to live for, life is not worth living, etc. etc. NO, no one can get through to a woman who all her life was dedicated to her husband and nothing else. Of course she has nothing to live for, with him gone, she literally has nothing. It’s sad and it brings me down, and she has NO IDEA of what I’m going through.

Monday came and I was trying to pick myself back up! I woke, cleaned myself up, got dressed, exercised, ate fruit, washed clothes and I was well on my way to a brighter day, even if the sun wanted to play hide and seek every single day! Adam visited and it was a good day, exhausting but good. I needed rest. I normally set myself by the front window with my computer but I was so exhausted by six o’clock I decided to just go lay in bed and meditate. I took my computer and instead of surfing, writing, or anything else, I chose meditative sounds to help me calm my nerves and the loss I had been feeling.

I had not realized thirty minutes had passed but I opened my eyes after a relaxing prayerful meditation and just sighed. It was a good sigh and then I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Something was saying to look out the window. The curtains were drawn but a couple of slats of the mini-blind were open. I saw something white. A mound of snow? No, it moved. Must be my white dog, Riley. No, it’s too white to be her. I jumped up not believing what I thought it was, a duck, so I made my way to peek out the window.
“My dear sweet Jesus, it’s a duck!” A BIG WHITE duck and a small black one were nestled on my lawn. Just sitting there looking around as if dazed.

My husband jumped from his chair and came in to see. He couldn’t believe the white dove and now a duck? He was scratching his head too! We both made our way to the back of the house so we could see with camera in hand what we were seeing! There they were Yin/Yang I thought. A big white duck and a small black duck.

From Wikipedia: “In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang is a concept of dualism in ancient Chinese philosophy, describing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.”

Hope was speedily returning to me. Could this be the push I needed to get me through another session of chemo next week? When Tuesday came I was almost afraid the hope would be gone but it was still there. And when hubby checked the mail there was a THANK YOU from the wonderful ladies of Physical Therapy with a thank you card. I had framed a poem and gave it to them for their office and they thanked me for that ‘blessing’ and so much more, my genuine thoughtfulness, my spunkiness, and the laughter I brought to them. I had made my mark as I apparently do. 

I read something this morning by Max Lucado: When Joseph, Mary’s husband, was asked to do something for God, instead of saying NO,  “Joseph obeyed. God used him to change the world.  He does the same with us.  Be a modern day Joseph.  God will use you to bring Jesus into the world.”

I think I found my calling. I’m listening, Lord! I’m listening. 

May Fever and a Blessed Day

Job 3:6 “As for that night, let darkness seize upon it; let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months.”

Did you miss me? I didn’t think so. 

Well, last week I caught May fever and wrote posts for five days in a row cornering me into an ‘I need a break’ phase. The weather has been a pleasant 60ish to 70ish, not the unbearable 80ish I, and my body, so detest. We’ve had plenty of rain that is keeping the roads nice and muddy and the grass long and lanky one day after a mowing. 

The farming season has begun with the trucks barreling down the road, tillers tilling the fields, and the ever sneezy atmosphere of the fertilizer sprays. Did I mention the tree pollen and my neighbors' twelve-inch grass blowing in the wind? Please don’t say, “Do the neighborly thing and mow it for her,” she has a working riding mower and only mows the property that she lives in not the property (trailer) she rents and keeps as a dog house. Ahh, the life in the country that I would not trade for the world!

Today marks our one-year wedding anniversary and yes, we made it a whole year, coupled with the thirteen years that we dated. We might go out to lunch and then take in an afternoon movie. No, I will not be seeing a Marvel movie, hopefully. Somewhere I matured and am so not into superheroes. (minus my Christian Bale Batman excitement). They just wear too thin in the CGI category and no real plot to the story with hot nobodies turned into superwomen somehow. I roll my eyes half the time frustrating the man beside me who grew up a comic book fan and has to see every Marvel movie ever made!

I won’t be doing my much-loved gardening this year since I don’t have a tiller, can’t do the garden work because of my back problems, so I’m just going to let what flowers come up, appear and tend to them upon arrival.

Today is Friday the Thirteenth and while many think this is a bad luck day, I see it as a GOOD numbered day since this is the day we wed one year ago, and it is our thirteenth year of being together. I don’t believe in luck but if there is such a thing, thirteen would be my lucky number! 

Minus the 35 MPH sustained winds, all in all, it was a good day. We went to lunch at the China Buffet and had a delicious very filling meal where we came home afterward to sit and feel bloated. This little woman fills up after two plates and dessert. We stopped at a nursery on the way home and bought some Salvia for my garden. They are hardy perennials that I know will return year after year.

We wobbled home and began watching a movie called Failure to Launch, a clean, funny, romantic comedy that had me in stitches! It starred Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. I LOVE Matthew and have only heard of Jessica; never really seen her in anything before.  Instead of spending $40 that it would take to go to a theater we saved our money and bought plants instead.

By serendipity, the weeks end happened. I say serendipity because hubby was going to ask for the two days off but when he received his schedule, his boss already had him off for two days, today and tomorrow too. See? Friday the 13th is a GOOD day! We made it an entire year! Woohoo! Okay, after spending thirteen years together I thought that was funny. 

I’ve got great friends who all gave me well wishes and it turned out to be a blessed day. Now onto another movie… You’ve Got Mail! And a full moon tonight…… *twilight zone music plays*

God Bless!

Job 41:17 “They are joined one to another, they stick together, that they cannot be sundered.”

Shine On

Prov. 30:5 “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”

SHINE ON!!!

I will be the first to admit that this year has been a struggle to shine on in a world full of darkness. It began in the beginning of the year when a cloud overshadowed the month of January in the form of death, a beloved aunt.

Death is never an easy thing but it was especially hard for me since I couldn’t be back home with my family. I would muddle through the trenches of guilt, shrug off the feelings of incompetence and embrace the Light of the Lord as my strength to get me through yet another of life's crisis’.

Crawling my way out of the mire I saw a glimmer of light in the form of engagement then marriage. The feeling was so bright and felt so warm and good I thought I myself had died and been wrapped in Heavenly arms. 

The month of May would pass and the glimmer of light would dim; it would die a slow death in and of itself. I should have (maybe I did) know that this year wasn’t going to end well when the voles in my yard tore into my garden of flowers and destroyed them with what looked like hurricane force.

There went my Hollyhocks, my Zinnia, my Salvia of five years, my Bleeding Heart, my precious mums etc. etc.; the list goes on like Nebraska farmland. The bright side came to me when I thought, oh well there is always another year to come, but is there? I went on knowing my flowers were all dead for the season and I saw a little light in the beauty of a facebook friend who has an endless show of flowers; a smile, a glimmer of hope in this gloom.

Throughout the year my dad’s health was diminishing. By October he would be hospitalized and he would suffer a slow agonizing death. Again the guilt circled me like a vortex in the middle of the sea drawing me in and drowning me with no way out. I fought, I clawed and I searched breathless for a ray of hope. There was none to be found. 

Thanksgiving would come and I’d have to find a ray of light in the impending Christmas spirit, right? Wrong. The lighthouse of my life was gone; the pillar of strength that I looked to was out to sea sucked into the vortex. Left behind were fragments, souls and dread.

Last night when talking to my mother, she informed me that my uncle had three days to live. We cried as the rain pelted on the door and the winds rampantly blew. He had been battling cancer for years and it seemed licked two years ago when his ‘port’ was taken out and then it resurfaced with a vengeance. He is her sisters’ husband and as of today, 12-14-15 I got the dreaded phone call that I knew was coming…he died. Cancer is what sucked him into the vortex called death. Cancer is what will cling to my cousins and aunt around Christmas and for years to come. Cancer has eaten too many of my relatives. How do I fight such a dismal prognosis? Maybe with the only Light that I know; the only Light I trust to get me through these dampened darkened days?

Then there’s the celebratory feasts that we’re obligated to attend. We were invited to his mom’s house on Friday the 18th. We had to sadly decline because hubby has to work a long day, but we were guilted into going by his sister. You know how families have that guilt trip stuff down pat! Who cares that you’re mourning? Who cares that you’re not in the mood to celebrate? Who cares that you’re not as happy as everyone else? Point blank: NO ONE!

Maybe it is what I need, to be surrounded by a family that actually loves one another. Maybe I need to see people laughing and enjoying the season. Maybe I need to be a part of a Mother’s wish in seeing all her kids together. Maybe it isn’t about my whining and ME. Maybe the season is about LOVE and seeing others happy. 

Maybe I’M the Light that they need to see shining through overcast skies.

MAYBE… I need to take up drinking again. (That was me trying to joke my way through pain!)

May God Bless you ALL and may YOU be a light shining on for someone to see!

2 Sam. 23:4 “And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.”

The Week That Took Its Toll

Courthouse: Minden Nebraska

Job 33:19 He is chastened also with pain upon his bed, and the multitude of his bones with strong pain:

The Week That Took Its Toll

Yeah, what was supposed to be the best week of my life didn’t quite turn out the way I planned. Now I’m thinking I should have just picked some random day in ANY month of the year except MAY to get married!

My back did not take too kind to the torture I put it through last week and as of today it is in retaliation of anything that resembles moving or work. While I’m not trying to sound whiney (I might come off as such) I NEED people to understand my pain!

My left hand has gone numb and typing on the keyboard might be lost to me soon, so I need to get this out. While many of you see a picture of me and say to yourself, she doesn’t LOOK like she is in pain, let me tell you, I hide it well until I begin to walk then I am visibly in pain and then the questions start shooting at me like I’m the bulls eye on a dartboard!

“How’s your back?”

“Are you okay?”

“I hate thinking of you in so much pain.”

Look people, this is my cross to bear!  Some will even toss in a ‘you’re too young.’ Gee thanks, I’m glad you have done all that I’ve done in my life abusing my body and you’re older with no pain, good for you! Alleluia amen! This is MY body, the one *I* was born with, not YOU!

I started when I was about eight with the rearranging of furniture. Not just a table here a lamp there, I’m talking beds, sofa and chairs, bureaus and it continued in life until six years ago when I realized I had shoveled 2 ft. of snow one too many times! I also cleaned houses dragging equipment around and cleaning stuff. I over did it, now I’m paying for it!

Five years ago I fell down the steps obviously damaging a nerve somewhere in my left foot. No medical insurance led me to self-medicating and taking care of the problem myself. I wonder if it ever healed?

Then there were the many drives to Omaha. A good 3 hour drive from Minden but I remember one specific day it took me every bit of four hours to drive there; it was during that time that the winds were so high, I kept straining to keep the car within the two lines with 18-wheelers flying past me at 75 miles per hour pushing me around like a pinball machine. I knew something was wrong when I got out of the car at the half-way point where we stopped to eat; I couldn’t lift my right leg! It just dragged behind me as I limped into Wendy’s. I just thought it would pass after I got home but many more exhausting trips to Omaha (7 hours round trip of being the sole driver) took its toll on my back and I finally went to the doctor. I was told I had lower-lumbar-facet-joint arthritis.

Great it had a name but guess what, no cure! No money, no meds, no physical therapy; I was on my own, explaining effortlessly my disability to people who had seen me BEFORE and were now seeing me with a crippled limp!

The arthritis didn’t stop at my back, it went to my knees, down to my very toes; more pain, more limping and more people not understanding why this disability hasn’t just gone away.

I don’t know how to vividly explain it but I will give it a shot. Have you ever seen one of those Tesla balls? Where if you run your hand over it is like electrifying magnetically charged particles? Take a look at the picture: Taken from google pics

See the center? Imagine that is my heel; with every step, pain in little veins of fire, light up and I clench my teeth just to take another step! The pain stretches from my foot to my knees to my thigh ending in my back; sharp quick sudden pains. When I sit too long, if not sitting properly it gets hard to keep tears from rolling down my cheek.

Sunday was my last straw in a long, pain-bearing week. It was so bad on Sunday I had to leave my stepdaughters’ graduation (before everyone saw me in tears) and before I had a chance to congratulate her.

I might have been okay had I not been told to climb at least ten steps into the uncomfortable bleacher seats that I do believe were made for people under 100 lbs., neither of which were any of the SEVEN people in our row. Being squished did NOT help matters any and so as not to ruin the day for his mom, sis, aunt, uncle and HIM, I chose to bail as the indecisiveness of where to stand when she parted was being decided.

I couldn’t bear one more second!!!

I left in tears before anyone saw that they were tears of pain. I hobbled to the truck, with Adam by my side, where a good cushioned seat was a welcome relief, putting an end to one pain-bearing, back-wrenching week.

Too much walking, too many stairs to climb, too many uncomfortable seating arrangements and too much indecision; today I sit in pain wondering why I’m breathing.

Grateful. I’m grateful for my wedding day and the man I married and the wonderful family he has, now the only real family that *I* have. 

We're Married

Matt. 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

It took some time getting here but we finally did it, we got married! I went over some of the things we’ve endured over the past thirteen years in an earlier blog post so I won’t go on repeating. I will say that after Steven got his sight back that is when things started to shift for us.

When I chose the date for when the marriage would take place, I had to have the numbers align. I know, I’m crazy, but just any old day was not good enough. This is a wedding, a marriage that will last a lifetime if we’re lucky so the date had to have SOME significance to it.

I chose May 13, 2015 for a reason, here goes: We’ve been together 13 years. My grandmother (and grandfather) who passed away when I was eight lived at 1313 and my Great Grandmother lived at 1315. 5-13-15 seemed significant. 13 years, 13 13, 13 15, the numbers just all looked right, so I picked that day. My grandmother died in March and my grandfather in May, May 22^nd to be exact but a friend of mine already had that as a wedding day. My other grandmother passed away on 3 15, so there you have it, all the numbers lined up for me.

Unbeknownst to me, when I told my niece of the day she said, “That’s cool, that is the day Matt and I got married!” I wasn’t back home when my niece got married so I didn’t remember her specific day of marriage but it made mine all the more significant.

The courthouse held significance because of its historic beauty. When we first arrived in Nebraska that was the courthouse we had to go to get my license changed over and Steven was having his put to sleep for a few years until his sight would be restored. The wood aroma that clung to every nook and cranny of the place was reminiscent of my childhood vacation Bible School. Isn’t it funny how those old smells will revive an old memory?

It is also the courthouse where I would file and be granted my divorce. Minden was now a part of my life. My marriage to Steven in the Minden courthouse would be planted permanently in my history book.

The judge asked if we wanted the marriage to take place in the courtroom, but I wanted it in between floors in front of a picturesque window. We had been there almost an hour and had only seen one person walk the stairs, so yes, in between floors was the perfect spot! My sister-in-law would take the pictures and my son and mother-in-law would be our witnesses.

The ceremony went off without a hitch (no pun intended) and we signed the legal documents and were on our way. Mom-in-law was treating us all to a meal at the place of our choice. I chose Applebees a lovely restaurant neither Steven nor I had been to before. The menus were served as were drinks and we had a most delicious meal, Steven with his steak and taters on the side, I with my chicken and shrimp smothered in garlic sauce with mushrooms and onions on the side. WOW! Then onto dessert; I think I gained ten pounds from that one meal! One meal that was SOOOO worth it!

The desserts were not of the normal cake and pie stature. No, this place had fancy-schmancy desserts. Steven had deep-fried battered pretzels, drizzled with caramel and an icing dip on the side! He had about ten to fifteen bites on the plate and I tried one and it was AWESOME! Me, I had a strawberry shortcake cheesecake with whipped topping! It was a small cup filled with delight. That is why I ordered it after eating such a hearty meal; I never eat dessert but this was too hard to resist.

We ate, laughed, giggled and chatted then we all parted. The in-laws brought Adam home and Steven and I went for a ride. Where to? I chose the cemetery where his father and grandmother are laid to rest. Steven hasn’t been there since we returned to Nebraska and I made a promise to his deceased father that I would see to it that Steven would be there when we got married. It seemed fitting to include his dad in the day in our small way.

Without all the intimate details, we ended the day with a movie. I chose You’ve Got Mail for obvious reasons to those who know our story. And today the 14^th we will venture out and see the movie that has been most anticipated to see on his list, The Avengers:Age of Ultron. I’m not a Marvel fan and The Avengers was a so so movie to me, but this is where the art of compromise comes in, in the marriage. I’ll go see it because he loves it! He’ll go see The Minion movie when it comes out in July. hahahaha

We woke this morning and I said, “Good morning, hubby.”

When he woke he said, “Morning Wife!”

And the story that doesn’t end… goes on and on my friends. 

*names/places changed for protection

The Days Without Internet

Pss. 55:8 I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.

The Days Without...

Well, my internet has been out three going on four days now. It went out late Saturday night during the storm. Storm? What storm? First…

Saturday we went to his nephews wedding. It was an odd wedding like none I’ve ever been to. The bride/groom wore white tip tennis shoes. You know like the Converse high-tops only they weren’t high tops? The invitation never stated ‘informal wedding’ so I wore my ankle length dress and sandals. It’s in style and can be worn as formal or informal so I felt I looked nice. Everyone else looked nice too except for the two or three that wore almost butt baring short mini-skirts with white tip tennis shoes mind you.

The very short ceremony was held at a reception hall, by I do believe, a female justice of the peace. A wedding/reception if you will. The vows took about ten minutes and poof the bride, groom and bridal party left afterward. The sign said they’d be back at six. They all had left to get pictures taken and went over to a park a few miles down the road.

So it was about 3:30 when they left and they’d return at six! Before the ceremony and after the ceremony we were treated to very loud rock music by the likes of AC/DC, Kiss, some Reo Speedwagon and such. You get the picture. The bride’s family were bikers and the groom’s side of the family are of the Baptist nature. While I did grow up on that type of music and it was all too familiar to me, it was interesting though, watching his aunt endure the noise.

The groom’s mom and dad aren’t church goers so they seemed to enjoy or at least bear with the whole kit and kaboodle. We had to sit and wait the two and a half hours close to three, smelling the food cooking in the background. We were all starving so that didn’t help. I’d go outside and look around at the scorching parking lot and feel the brisk winds to let myself know I was still here on the planet earth. A few had gathered outside where they had booze in the trunks of their car. One man who was already feeling his liquor commented on my skirt blowing up and I just smiled. How sweet. (not)

By this time my stomach was cramping so bad from eating Reese’s cups that were on the table; the only thing to eat while waiting. The bridal party had finally returned! We had to wait another twenty minutes while they all got to the food first. Then it was our turn to stand in line, and finally, food! Spare ribs and chicken and some delicious salads, which is all I ate. I didn’t touch the ribs or chicken.

I did like the party favors though, little Converse high-top tennis shoes in every color of the rainbow. I took three, sue me, I was bored. I was asked more times than once when WE (Steven and I) were taking the plunge. After eleven years, no proposal and witnessing THIS wedding? I NEVER want to marry again! Seriously! While I love the kids, the sanctity of marriage is a little more than… oh never mind.

By eight o’clock we were more than ready to go home. As we approached the road home, we could see the sky blackened and lightning off in the distance, probably nearing our house. As we got closer and closer to the house the winds had picked up and drops of rain the size of my hand had begun falling. I was feeling uneasy.

We pulled up to the door, parked pretty close to the steps, and we proceeded to go in the house. By the time Adam put his foot in the door (Adam was the last one in) hail began to pummel the house. It beat for far too long for me and we began worrying about his mother and sister and them driving home right into this stuff.

Can I ask something? Why do people have cell phones if they’re going to leave them off and let voicemail pick up? What’s the point?

We were assessing the damage caused by the golf ball sized hail when his sister called. They made it home only to witness her daughters car get whopped by a baseball size hailstone and bust out the rear window of her car. They couldn’t stand around looking because the hail just kept coming. They all made it home safe.

Well now, that’s exciting for a day isn’t it? Well that wasn’t it…

About two hours passed and we went to bed while lightning like a strobe-light lit up the sky! We knew we were in for a big one because my Weatherbug said so. Now I go out quick and rest for a good eight hours before I wake but by 11:30 I was jilted awake by thunder, lightning and WIND. High winds! High enough for me to be scared outta my wits! With computers off, I relied on my emergency radio.

Once on, we listened as tornado warnings were all around us. The winds howled, the house shook, water came in wherever there was a crack, I saw a small branch that looked like a tree fly by the window, leaves were being tossed around like a windy fall day. Me? I prayed.

I went and sat on the sofa clutching my bible in my hands and continued to pray as the roaring wind went on and on all around me. Tick tock there goes the clock, anticipation as I could hear the wind slowing it’s pace and the thunder rolling away from us.

I remembered my last words to my friend on facebook before the second storm hit, “I’m protected.” I had signed off with a goodnight and God Bless and that was the last I saw of the internet.

Sunday I awoke still cramped. (I never eat chocolate so I guess my stomach knew I had ate something foreign to my system.) The sun had not yet risen but there was enough morning light for me to see. My back lawn was covered in leaves and branches, not big branches but heavy enough to have to put in our wagon to move. My neighbor’s house had a big branch lying across the roof, where it had damaged a portion of her chimney.

I turned on my computer, not surprising, no internet. Still reeling in pain, I couldn’t even THINK of going to church. Oh I thought of God and I sang soft praises and thanked Him for protecting me. I knew He would and after hearing of all the devastation with downed power lines and silo’s toppled, farm crops shredded to pieces, I knew I was protected from something bigger that had gone on out there.

The days without internet. The guys of the house are antsy although they won’t admit it. Adam read an actual book. Steven played his computer game but not without calling the service provider first who told us they’d send someone out by Wednesday, he checked the modem once or twice too. Me? I’m relishing the time without it! I’ve tended my ripped apart garden, de-weeded in spots, I’ve played chess and solitaire, cooked a nice meal and just enjoyed the quiet relaxing pace of life with no net! Brought back a lot of memories of my life BEFORE the internet came into my life.