I'm Gonna Let It Shine

1 Peter 1:7 “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”

I’m Gonna Let It Shine

Do you have a goal in life? I never really was a goal setter and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I have since a young girl of about fourteen always had a plan, kind of, and that was for people to see Christ in me. 

You might say, well weren’t you a drug addict and alcoholic? And I would quite bluntly and honestly admit that yes, yes I WAS. BUT here’s the thing, people always saw God in me. Comments like, “Oh she’s that God person”, or “Don’t ask her for advice, she’ll give you a sermon.” stuck with me. I went through life thinking, I’m a God person, and that is what people see in me, even in my darkest days, they see a Light.

As an adult, in hindsight, I see that it wasn’t my plan after all; I think seeing God in me has been His plan all along. While being dragged through coals of fire, being darkened by pain and strife, I always saw God. People would often wonder how I could see God through raging storms of hell. Again, quite bluntly I responded with, “Because He never lets me down.”

Drug addiction and alcoholism didn’t break me, being sexually abused didn’t taunt me, the loss of two children didn’t crack me like an egg, I plowed on refining my light so that the world would see the brilliance shining from me. 

Last week I went to WalMart. I was standing inside as I waited for hubby to park the car. It was a chilly rainy day so I opted for being let off at the door instead of walking in the rain. I stood inside and my eye caught an older lady and man as they passed me. She had an ear-to-ear smile as our eyes met, then her hand went to her husband's arm as she was gently nodding towards me. Did she know me? Recognize me, what? I didn’t recognize her but I smiled back.

As I walked through the store, I felt like I had a neon sign on my forehead because for some reason I noticed more and more people smiling at me. Not just the smirky kind of smile, smiles that said, I SEE you! What? It was an interesting shopping event, to say the least. This week I went shopping but this time I was going to notice what and why the smiles were there.

I realized that I had a smile on my face for every passer-by. Whether a crotchety old woman, a disgruntled older man, a mom with a screaming child, I had a smile for each and every one of them and they could do nothing more but to look at me, and smile back!

My ego would say, oh yeah, I’m all that. But the portion of a realist in me says, they see me; they see CHRIST in me. Instead of looking at people and forming a judgment in my mind, ‘she wore THAT’, ‘she needs to lose weight’, or ‘take a chill pill dude’, I looked with an intense gaze and thought, GOD, BLESS YOU!

I think the drastic change in my diet has caused my mind to expand on some metaphysical level; I see God in everything. Yes, this has always been parts of me but lately, it is ALL of me not just a portion of me.   

It’s not easy looking intently into someone’s eyes and seeing their pain, like the crotchety old woman who had a bit of road rage on the way to the store. I offer a smile. To the grumpy older man who was hesitant in getting out of bed and going shopping on his own because he NEEDED his medication, I offer my smile. To the man who has a bit of impatience brewing while waiting in a long line, I smile and let him go ahead of me, silently blessing each and every one as they pass. 

Can you imagine what kind of world we’d live in if every person took it upon themselves to bless people? I know the world is set on destruction but individuals can make a difference by shedding a light in all the dark places. They’re everywhere you walk, they’re in every person you have eye contact with, bubbling under the surface, with a light and a smile, the anger can be dispelled.

My General Practioner’s office called the other day, Ashley said, “Dr. *** wanted me to call and see how you’re doing and if you need anything.” 

I said, “I’m doing GREAT! I didn’t go to chemo and I’m feeling GREAT!”

July is my sixth-month marker and I was informed the doctor will be leaving in July since she’s finished up her two-year residency. I told Ashley, I’d make a well patient visit before the doctor left. I WILL go and shine the light for all to see! Test or no test, this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!!!

I thought I’d share this for you to keep in mind:
From the Purpose Driven Life: “The Bible often compares trials to a metal refiner’s fire that burns away the impurities. Peter said, “These troubles come to prove that your faith is pure. This purity of faith is worth more than gold.” (1 Peter 1:7) A silversmith was asked, “How do you know when the silver is pure?” He replied, “When I see my reflection in it.” When you have been refined by trials, people can see Jesus’ reflection in you. James said, “Under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.” (James 1:3).”

James 1:3  “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.”

I'm Not Worthy

Rev. 4:11 (KJV)  “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”

I’m not worthy.

How many times have you said THAT in your lifetime? I hear so many people say they don’t want to put faith in God or become a Christian because he ‘expects’ too much from them.

Too much? Let me ask you a question, a scenario if you will. 

Your mother calls you when you’re on your way home from a long days work.

“Can you pick me up a loaf of bread, honey?”

“But I’m heading home, I really want to get home.”

“I haven’t eaten all day and really would like to make a sandwich.”

“Oh, okay mom. See ya in a few.”

Was that expecting too much from you? Why because it’s out of your way? You’d do anything for your mother, right? Was she expecting too much in the way of asking you for something and you getting nothing in return?

Well think of God as your father, he’s asking for a few things. Like what? Oh, you know, He don’t want you to murder nobody, steal anything, gossip about everyone and everything (that’s a hard one), want what your neighbor or friend has, He doesn’t want you worshipping other God’s (think loving someone else more than you mother!) or worshipping those fake images of Him, oh and don’t curse Him. When you say ‘Jesus Christ Almighty’ let it be in honor of Him not to dishonor Him. Honor your MOTHER and your FATHER. < See, he wants you to respect, love and honor them as much as He wants your love honor and respect. And no cheating on your wife! 

There, is that too much to ask? It’s like your mother asking for a whole list of items instead of just a loaf of bread, eh? Well, let me tell you something that works for me. When I try to live by these ‘Ten Commandments’, I say try because you know what, they’re hard for everybody not just you, I get closer to Him and start to act differently too. It becomes easy and the whole personality shifts and things just start happening, in a good way that you can’t explain (I know, science will call it coincidence) but you start to FEEL differently.

Does adhering to these Ten Commandments make you worthy? Let me tell you the truth, you don’t have to do anything and you’re already worthy to Him. You feel unworthy because PEOPLE make you feel unworthy. God hasn’t done anything to make you feel unworthy, has He? Think about that a moment, you feel unworthy of having a relationship with Him because the people around you tell you that you need to do things a certain way to feel worthy.Try not listening to outer influences and let God tell you how to feel. God just wants you to love Him and others.

Mark 12:30-31 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

People make Christianity out to be this big bad evil venture of wants. The church wants too much, people want too much, God wants too much. Wants, wants, wants and I see nothing about the NEEDS of mankind. Man needs a moral compass, man needs to live in a content state, we NEED to find respect for one another. God is not as hardline as people make Him out to be. 

People see God as the problem? I think that the person bringing God to you is the problem. They’re supposed to be on a mission to bring you the humbleness of the Lord but sometimes they make you feel unworthy by placing demands on you that you can’t seem to fulfill. It’s too much work so you give up on God altogether. 

Mega churches only get bigger because man, hundreds, and thousands, are supporting the Word these places feed them. Is it twisted? Distorted? To me, it is, only because I see a broken nation of poor and needy and these mega places are not finding that portion of society to help and in the end, many are turned away from Christianity because they feel unworthy. I don’t believe for one minute that the poor is funding these mega institutions.

Now I’ve heard some say, “I went to church once and they begged for money by putting some kind of offering basket in front of me. That was a big turn-off for me. I’m poor, they should be helping ME.”

It’s ironic, you walk into a church, right? You see lights, musical instruments? You know they have youth groups full of activities preparing children for the future. Do you assume that God Himself is keeping the electricity on? Do you also assume that the basket (which is called tithing, by the way) of money is kept for the greedy church fingers? The money is used for church NEEDS to keep the church ALIVE! Without your one dollar, or a penny, they will close and you’d have nowhere to attend church. The mega churches more than likely need a hundred thousand dollars a week to run and that is why the rich keep them funded, so they have a place to go on Sunday morning.

In a nutshell, to feel worthy, you need to feel the love of God run through your veins. However you bleed God out of your system is between you and Him. Sometimes I feel unworthy because I feel I have nothing to give Him. Then I sit down at the computer and fill this blog with the Word that flows from me like a running river. This is what I offer Him and this is what I lend to you. 

Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV)

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.