Go To The Mattresses

Ex. 14:14 KJV “The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.”

Go to the Mattresses

Ex.14:14 ESV “The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

Have you ever heard the term, ‘go to the mattresses’? I remember first hearing it in the movie You’ve Got Mail and thought it was kinda funny that Joe Fox the competitor was telling his competition to ‘go to the mattresses’ with her competitor, not knowing it was him of course. (I love that movie!) But he was using the phrase he’d remembered from the Godfather movie, it means to prepare for battle.

I used the phrase a couple of months ago quite literally when I was discussing the necessity of a new mattress. I was willing to ‘go to battle’ to get a new mattress to save my aching back. Our fifteen-year-old mattress had it’s final days years ago but affordability made it quite impossible getting a new one, bad back or not. Illness after illness it seems was always nipping at our feet inhaling any extra funds needed to get a stupid mattress.

Then not long before Christmas my dog showed signs of failing and for sure I didn’t think she’d make it through Christmas, but I went to the mattresses for her and looked up home remedies to help her with her obvious arthritis in her hindquarters. The unending bitter cold and snowfalls were not helping my Sassy as I know myself, the cold can sometimes agitate arthritis. Fish oil! Who would’ve thought fish oil would help a dog’s arthritis? It does tremendously, so much so, if I miss a day, she’s back to the inability to climb the stairs. 

I know you’re going to say, get her to a vet but I’m sure each and every one of you know how expensive they can be and well, in my battle with this disease and every other thing going wrong, funds are just not in the cards of ours. I know it might sound like I’m picking our life over our dog, but I do what I can do. In three days time the fish oil began working its magic. I had fish oil on hand because it is one of my many supplements, I gave it up for her, to save her! It is WORKING! 

My situation always has me wondering what people are thinking. ‘If her God is so great why does she suffer so much?’ Let me put it quite bluntly to you, God is fighting a bigger battle than I ever give myself credit for. You get your hair done, right? Your nails done, too? Well, I look at my life and struggles as God grooming me for my eternity with Him. He’s going to the mattresses for me and quite frankly, I’m sitting in peace, in silence, amazed at His ability to take on anything thrown at me. And just so you know, I've never had my hair or nails done. I do them myself, always have and always will. 

We finally decided to get a new mattress. I couldn’t believe it! On January twenty-fifth, the anniversary of my diagnosis, my husband set out determined to change the negative overtone of the date and hang something new in the balancing scheme of things, we went mattress shopping. It was a surprise to me, I had just said I wanted a Wendy’s chili, and he said he needed a pair of work pants (like the mattress, his old ones had served their time) but we went a different route and he announced, ‘want to look at mattresses’ and I squealed in agreement, ‘yes, yes, yes! 

You might be wondering why I wanted a Wendy’s chili since I’ve been so strict with my protocol. That’s just it, for a year I have been strict with my protocol. The twenty-fifth was a day one-year-ago I had my last fast-food purchase with a chili (my fave). I needed a good memory of chili and not the grim one that held it captive for a year. The twenty-fifth of January will be a new memory for me! We purchased a therapeutic necessity, work pants a part of his uniform, and a wonderful bowl of Wendy’s chili! The day was a great day and no longer does the grim reminder of a dastardly diagnosis hold the days' memory in its hand.

So while going to the mattresses holds different meaning all around, I prepared for battle, my Lord by my side, and claim a VICTORY! After one night's PEACE on the new mattress, my back felt different! I can’t wait to see what a month, a year, a couple years do to my back. Just as putting all of my faith in God, the mattress was well worth the price! God goes to battle and *I*, rest in PEACE! 

All praise and glory to Him! 

Pss. 97: 10 “Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.”

I Had A Bad Day...

Job 7:14 “Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions:”

I had a bad day

When a nightmare wakes me throughout the night, this title should really be, I had a bad night. The other day I woke early in the morning not my usual chipper self. I woke in tears and tears defined the greater part of my day. I guess I'm allowed a bad day/night on occasion. Glad they're not frequent.

We usually wake and go shopping, but this day I woke grumpy with two inches of snow on the ground and heavy stuff still falling from the sky. This winter has been a temperature roller coaster ride as well as the ups and downs of emotions. Normally I have my emotions in check but here lately everything is triggering a reaction in me.

My nightmare began with a doctor visit located in a hospital room not much different than the room I was in last year when I received my diagnosis before being forced into test after detrimental test. 

In my nightmare the nurse squeaked into the room, tearing off linens on the bed across from me. She was running off in the mouth. I asked her what she was doing and she quickly spits out, “We’re prepping you for surgery. That breast is nasty looking and the doctor needs to remove it, or you’re gonna die, gonna die, gonna die.” The sound was echoing over and over.

“Wait, I’m not going to have surgery. I have a choice!” My voice didn’t echo like hers, it sounded more like a soft whisper.  

“But if you’re gonna die, gonna die, gonna die,” my husbands says with the echo now in his voice. His face was really close to mine as the echo made his face look like the wicked House of Mirrors.

“I am NOT having surgery,” I screamed that one pretty loud but still no one could hear me. It was like my lips were moving but everything went on, movements in the room heads nodding in disagreement as if I wasn’t there. I was seriously expecting Pennywise from the King book ‘It’ to just pop out and start cackling but instead…

“But you’re gonna die, gonna die, gonna die! It looks nasty, nasty, nasty,” the nurse cackled with an eerie looking grin.

You get the gist of the nightmare. Fear, laughing, taunting all in line before I forced the blankets off of me and battled the cold reality of the morning. Tears still streaming down my face, when my husband said something to me, I snapped at him. That is so unlike me! I said, “I just had a terrible nightmare, please don’t do this to me today!”

He shrugged and mimicked me until I looked at him with wet eyes and started bawling my eyes out. He realized it really had to be a bad dream for me to wake in tears.

He went on with his routine to start his day; I could see his mind wandering. He ventured outside to start his truck and brush away the snow on there from the windblown covering that blanketed his truck; only a total whiteout hindered any chance of venturing off to the store at this time. I was adamant about not going with him and carrying this negative crud through the store. My son was at work and heading home in the whiteout at this very time, so that added to my stress of the early morning.

When my son arrived home, he could see I had been crying, “What’s the matter?” 

“A nightmare! I had a bad nightmare!” I know I was snappy in my reply.

“It was just a bad dream,” he says downplaying my pain. He was just returning from an eight-hour overnight shift, drove through whiteout conditions and here I was snapping at him. 

There it was, the truth of the matter, everyone is so used to seeing me as the pillar of strength that when I’m in a serious bit of stressful turmoil they don’t recognize it; they downplay my pain and shrug it off. She’ll get over it, they figure to themselves. I couldn’t get over this, not quickly anyway.

I carried throughout the day a heavy chip on my shoulder and an old time movie projector in my mind, the nightmare kept playing over and over like a broken record, “you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die.” There was just no shaking the feeling or the nightmare. This gives night terrors new meaning.

I tried venturing onto Facebook, bad idea. I felt like everyone was laughing at me, taunting me, mocking me, and disagreeing with everything I’ve worked so hard for. They were not doing any such thing, but the nightmare had my paranoia levels up and shaking this was not going to just go away with a few passing smiles for the day.

Super Bowl Sunday was then spent napping and anticipating my long-awaited arrival on Monday, our new mattress! My back has been a problem for years now and I knew it was the fifteen-year-old mattress but I also knew we couldn’t afford a new one, but with the expectancy of an income tax check, I made the suggestion to my husband of a new mattress. We thought of the costs of a chiropractor for me and the mattress was much cheaper by far. With enough supplements for two more months, I was anxiously looking forward to a comfortable nights rest on a new mattress!

I didn’t put myself through the anxiety of a football game and my husband was kind enough to sit through a Disney movie with me instead of the year’s ending of the football show. Neither one of us watched football this year as it has become its own little world. No longer an enjoyable sport-like football game, it’s now added fluff and frufru make it a waste of MY precious time. He did catch the second half (he’s a man, whatcha expect) *wink-wink* and he enjoyed watching someone else win the Super Bowl this year. 

With the Philadelphia Eagles winning the Super Bowl it just reaffirms my hope that the underdog DOES WIN on occasion! It signifies that the underdog has a chance against the powers that be, the winners of society, the boasters, and braggarts, we little folk DO win! 

James 1:12 (NIV) “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

Monday, the mattress came…

Pss.3:5 “I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.”