Poetry Sunday ~ Memories

4 Ezra 4:45 “Shew me then whether there be more to come than is past, or more past than is to come.”

Memories

When tears leak from my eyes I find

a place of healing that’s no surprise,

I find I’m lost once being found is not easy

To mechanically turn life around.

The glorious light of which I cling to 

Allows me comfort waters to wade through

I’m not the one who lives daily in fear

Let me make it clear why I’m still here

The days are long often filled with pain

I’ll say it again in life I’ll remain

The one who finds God in all that I do

As I waddle through memories I once knew

The past is there for me to step around

Tiptoe through eggshells for all I’ve found

Religion and alcohol a cocktail of frights

I made it through the dark stormy nights

I didn’t have a mother who cooked and baked 

I’m lucky to have had the food that we ate.

A penguin filled schoolhouse was my only friend

That carried my memories to the rivers bend

With a concrete garden and asphalt street

My life in Baltimore was never complete

Crimson skies lined my sunset dreams

Away from home’s not as murky it seems

I’ll go and drown my empty sorrow 

For all I carry to every tomorrow

What’s done is done what’s gone is gone

I’ll live my life and carry on.

Commit to Writing

It is within my power to commit to writing. As I give up a few things, I will be drawn to other things, possibly forming a new addiction. An addiction to writing is not a bad thing. Did you ever notice that the word ‘addiction’ makes you cringe? Probably because addict sounds negative, but not all addictions are of the negative. I come from a long line of family members who have been addicted to drugs, alcohol, you name it, and as I clawed my way out of the mire to become a free spirited addict of writing, I lost many family members along the way.

I met new family members in the world of writing, who not only shared my addiction, they are pushers too, they pushed me forward and helped my addiction grow into the fruit producing tree that is spoken of in the bible. My new family has come along side me, embraced me, my quirkiness, my beauty, and my words. I met many at f2k, my beloved writing course that I gave up, and as they moved into the Village, I embraced them to welcome them all to the family, that so lovingly welcomed me many years ago.

Some addictions you recognize as more painful than worthwhile. Some addictions abuse you, so you must give them up, whether positive or negative, you just have to, to save your sanity! My writing has never abused me in any way. It is an addiction that I will carry to my death, and possibly to Heaven where I can meet with the writers that have gone on before me. Maybe we’ll share, maybe we won’t, but I do know that committing to my writing is what this year is going to be all about.

What will you commit to in the new year? Are you not going to change at all because you like where and who you are? I’m not that old that I can’t see when the time of change has come into my life. I’ve been here through many journey’s, many climbs over mountains and through the boulders of life and I walked away a better person because of each choice I made. I think that is the operative word, choice. You need to see that boulder as a mere pebble. You need to look at that mountain and don’t whisper, you demand it, move mountain! And with all the strength you’ve gathered from your Lord, your faith carries you and the mountain, in a remarkable amazing fashion, moves.

You have a choice to change things. You can stay the same and as you do, not one mountain will move and not one boulder will sway, you will become trapped by the deluge that has fallen into your life of loneliness, you will become overcome and suffocate. Is that what you want for your life? That’s all fine and dandy, but it is not what I want. I have a choice and I choose life, and my commitment to writing! I will not be as the sleeping man, caught unaware when the change comes. When you sleep (know what I am speaking of) you will always remain idle in everything. Every venture, every spurt of possible growth, you will miss, because you were too busy sleeping.

Mark 13: 33- 37 Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.
 For the Son of man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch. Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning: Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping. And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.

My inspiring journey: Soul Songs

Gotta do, what I gotta do...

Gen 1: 20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

Do any of you remember the Village people from quite a few years ago? Yeah, I remember when...they were popular, free spirited, zany and crazy and people just loved them. They were a small group of different characters, not a whole lot of songs to remember them by, but they were popular in their day.

This is how I feel here lately. I have outgrown my once  popular Village. There was a time when I’d wake up, eager to get in there and help, but now as things have shifted, times have changed, I wake to find it a Village of Society; a facebook for writers. It’s a clique of people and while the newcomers are finding delight in it all, it will one day wear off and become a lack luster place, and they too will move on, just as the old timers who once filled the halls.  I no longer want to be a part of the insanity and am slowly weaning myself of the place, and I have to let the Village People move from my world.

Gen. 3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

I think you all know I’m not a big fan of facebook and wonder why I even signed up to the place. It being a good place to share my writing, and saying hi to a selected few friends that I have, even facebook has lost its luster. Sometimes a girls gotta do, what a girls gotta do, and move over to let some one else pull the heavy laden pain bearing sled.

Since October...I’ve been in a lot of pain. To be honest, I’ve had very few people even care. I have people praying for me and as I continue down this road, it is all and surely will be enough to get me through the Christmas holidays. I don’t go around facebook saying, “Hear ye, Hear ye, Joni is in pain! Woe! Woe is me!” If they read my blog, they know. I have two family members aware, and that would be my mother, (whom I talk to every single night) and my Dad, whom she tells everything to. That’s it. When family and friends find out, they’ll say, “Wow I didn’t know! You didn’t say anything.” Well Joni is tired of all the dramatics; if you say you love me, you’ll KNOW what I’m going through! Ahh, feel the love.

Prov. 13:14 The law of the wise is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.

So as you deck those halls and jingle them bells, there are a lot of people doing without this year, and not just material wise. Comfort wise. What people need is a comforting friend who understands and is willing to REACH OUT to help. Words are vanity, action is priceless.

As I go into the new changing of the calendar, a lot is going to change for me. Instead of everyone and everything shifting on me, it is my turn to shift on them. I’m not saying that in a bitter tone, I’m saying it as a realization of things that need to be done so I can soar and achieve what I need to achieve in the new year and leave all the excess baggage on the carousel of insanity.

Listen up! Joni is having some serious major health issues that she needs to tend to. Go on without me but just remember, I was there for YOU! 

Thank you and God Bless!

Prov 15:24 The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath.