Healing Wounds

Pss. 147: 3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

Healing Wounds

Reading the news and looking out at the apocalyptic images, it’s obvious we are living in uncertain times. People will argue that we’ve always had wildfires, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, and floods and yes, they’d be right. But this year so far ties for weather disasters that have topped the billion-dollar mark. Remember, the year isn’t over yet. 

I believe that like human beings having the capacity to heal our wounds by the intricate ways we’re made (our immune systems) Earth had the ability to heal also. I say HAD the ability because I think the earth is done with our disastrous actions. We laughed and scoffed at climate change, we thought we had hundreds if not thousands of years to heal the planet, we tried the recycling bit, but the earth is wounded. Earth has cried out for our help and we ignored the calls, it is now beyond healing. Earth is now walking to its death.

Jer. 14: 19 “Hast thou utterly rejected Judah? hath thy soul lothed Zion? why hast thou smitten us, and there is no healing for us? we looked for peace, and there is no good; and for the time of healing, and behold trouble!”

It’s not just weather anomalies, it’s human behavior, we’re a messed up species. We betray laws in record proportions. We damage lives without consideration, we go on in life as if everything will just either go away, heal on its own, or eventually get better. Sorry people, we are not getting better, we are not healing, and we’re not even trying if we tell ourselves the truth.

What I do know, for a fact, is that individual healing can and is taking place. Every man and woman alive has the chance to heal. Again, we shrug it all off as if we have time. We eat what we want, drink what we want, we have no restraint as we plow ahead killing ourselves. We are living to die and we’re happy with that.

I’m not happy with just settling for ‘it’ll get better on its own’ and I’m doing everything within my power to change. People call it bravery and being courageous, I don’t see it that way, I see it as a choice, life or death and I choose life. There’s nothing brave about choosing life over death or have we become so mixed up that we see survival as courage?

Josh. 2:11 “And as soon as we had heard these things, our hearts did melt, neither did there remain any more courage in any man, because of you: for the LORD your God, he is God in heaven above, and in earth beneath.”

We are living in times where we get sick, we go to the doctor, he gives us a drug, and tries to pacify what is ailing us. We don’t try healing ourselves we go right to the doctor, taking the pill he offers and then playing the wait and see game. Let’s see if this pill works, if not, we’ll try a different one, over and over. There is something seriously wrong with that. I’m not naïve in my thinking, I’ve had my share of damaging experiences from the medical communities from three different states and can assure you, all of the doctors were different with their approaches to ‘healing’ the sick.

Now I think the country is in the mindset that it is too far-gone, we are too conditioned to change our way of thinking. The earth cannot turn back the clock, the earth takes hundreds of years (if not thousands) to heal, but humans have the ability to change right now in their lifetime! I did it and I’m no different than you. I am fifty years old and changed in the blink of an eye; I chose LIFE! That’s not courage or bravery it is survival. Maybe if everyone saw waking up each day as an opportunity to survive instead of living a mundane ho-hum life of work, eat, sleep, maybe the world wouldn’t be in such bad shape.

I noticed something; Yes, I’ve noticed this happening over the years but more so now than ever before, besides the disastrous weather. When people are sick, they go to the doctor, trust that the pill prescribed will heal them, take the pill, then pray to God the drug works. When the pill doesn’t work, people assume God didn’t answer their prayer. They go back on the drug carousel and go around and around searching for a pill that works and when it finally does, praises God, prayers answered. That doesn’t sound right, does it?

Now imagine getting sick and turning to God first, trusting Him and HEARING him, and patiently waiting FOR HIM to do his healing. Number one, people (yes even believers) don’t want to turn to God first, He takes too long to respond and they want to heal NOW! Second, this is a serious health issue and a doctor is needed. He has happy pills that will make this illness/disease go back to sleep. Thirdly, there is the money factor. You have insurance that will pay for the pills and doctors and by golly, you’re going to utilize it. This is your life in a nutshell.

People would rather heal the outside before healing the inside. People would rather trust in man and his book knowledge than God and His infinite wisdom. Have you ever looked at a DNA strand? Have you ever thought about the intricate layers of healing via our immune system that we have within our grasp? Do you ever think that the Almighty Healer knew what he was doing when creating humans? He trusted us, to take care of our bodies and He put His trust in us to take care of His land, and we can’t even give Him the same trust and respect.

Rev. 20:11 “And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them.”

Man has destroyed man. Man has destroyed the earth and continues to do so and all we can do is BLAME God? Think about it people, God gave us everything we’d ever need to succeed in replenishing our bodies, our souls and the earth and we mangled our duty to trust and OBEY. Sure some of us trust, but the majority does not OBEY! We like to think we do, but if you look around at the catastrophes you can now SEE, we botched the job!

Mal. 4:2 “But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.”

I’ve come to realize something, I was given a death sentence and I chose to trust and obey God on this, that’s it. I’m doing nothing that isn’t in each and every one of our grasp. It’s not bravery it is survival. I’ve realized what I should’ve known (and basically did) many years ago, I’m not fighting to live in this damage depleted world, I’m fighting for my survival in eternity with Him. I’m not returning to him a damaged product, I’m returning to Him a HEALED mind, BODY and soul! It is the very LEAST I can do for Him.

All praise and Glory to God!

Rev. 22:2 “In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

I Follow HIM

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

I Follow Him

First and foremost, I follow the Lord and I always listen even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I sometimes feel like I come off as a flighty dumb blond walking into a flaming fire because I stand with Christ and Christ alone. 

I remember the story of Peter when Jesus asked him to walk on water, did you know he did step out onto the water, at first, but doubt and fear won out and he sunk? Jesus asked Him, “Are ye of little faith?” Some people say they have faith but if Jesus Himself came and said walk on the water with me, I can bet MANY would sink!

Matt 14: 25-31 NIV- “Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I’d like to think my faith is so strong that I WOULD walk on water for Him. He’s asked me to trust Him with my cancer and all of the HEALING treatment that He Himself has chosen for me. I say, God, lead me on still waters. Wouldn’t you know it, the waters stirred, I DID NOT FEAR! I AM NOT and WILL NOT DOUBT Him. When people pile up against me, I stand my ground firmly with the Lord. Laugh, scoff, Jesus knows exactly what it was like to be condemned by the very people who claimed to follow Him. 

I have suffered and struggled all of my life. God entered into my pain and washed away the scars and allowed me to walk to Him, with Him and for Him! Anything I struggled with he carried for me and gave me the strength of an army, one small woman, felt like an army of angels had encompassed her on a daily basis just to get through a day, a month, a year.

God is not glorified in your pain and suffering, He is glorified in your healing and yes He’s used my pain, my suffering, my scar tissue to be seen as His Light shining through. If I show doubt in His ability to carry this disease, I will sink in the very water I KNOW I can tread.

Toxins. I was raised in a toxic family, shaped by toxic chemicals whether it was LSD, PCP or any other drug of choice at the time; also the environmental toxins that I breathed in daily. I suffered alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual abuse. I lied, cheated, stolen and all of my pain and shame is laid bare for the world to see. I have NOTHING to hide behind because it is for YOU to see how Glorious our God is in His grace and forgiveness! I did not have the advantage of growing up in a rose-colored-glasses kind of world.

We live in a toxic world. Man turns to a doctor because he trusts him and has faith in Him and when someone stands against that very person they put their faith in for drugs, and medication, they don’t see the drugs and medication as toxins, they see my walk without the pacifier I call the medical toxic community as my guide, a toxic decision. So are vitamins, herbs and minerals toxic to my body? I’ll take my chances on that one. 

I think some people think I’m making this decision of no chemo. on my own in my naïve stupid young girl fashion. Seriously? If that is what you think of me, then you are not my friend. If you read my blog to pick out grammatical errors, you are missing an entire portion of me, back away from me, please! I follow HIM and Him alone in my quest for healing.

I watched as my grandmother had a stroke, then came out of the hospital and changed nothing and lived on meds the rest of her days. I watched as my aunts and uncles battled cancer, changed not one bit of their unhealthy lifestyle, I watched as my dad after heart surgery and a good three months of recovery returned to his old ways and eventually died. I've lived as two of my children have died!

You see, I’m coming into this diagnosis with my eyes wide open! I’ve seen, I've watched, I’ve lived, and most of all I LEARNED! I come into this cell attacker with three things none of my family members EVER had. 1) Knowledge 2) Wisdom 3) An undying unwavering FAITH!

The very first thing I did with this diagnosis? DRASTICALLY changed my unhealthy eating habits! I cut out sugar and carbs, meat and dairy, which left me with nothing but fruits and vegetables. I researched, researched and researched chemo, vitamins, herbs, cures, toxins, success stories. I’ve already been a witness to too many unsuccessful stories of illnesses from heart disease, diabetes, arthritis and a host of other illnesses. The one thing they ALL had in common was medications and an unhealthy lifestyle. 

Many people are unwilling to make a drastic change in unhealthy living. They’d much rather depend on a doctor to pacify them with drugs and a false sense that they are gods and are going to make them well. Did you ever notice, doctors are not in the business to make you well? Once you’re on medication you will NEED them for the rest of your days. You will never be healed because you then become an addict, addicted to meds. 

Did you know that God placed natural herbs here for us? Did you know God built our bodies to heal and regenerate? After we’ve totally destroyed our immune system, we need to try HARDER to restore what was lost and not trust doctors to destroy MORE for us. I’m trusting God on this one. Right or wrong, my God is the carrier of ANY burden, sickness, or pain I bring to Him. He is the Almighty Healer, Doctor and cure-all! If it bothers you that I think this way, please, feel free to reexamine your absolute faith and trust in Jesus Christ. The world desperately needs to see Jesus alive and Christians are the only ones to bring him to the world for all to see. He didn’t come to be glorified in our illness, He came to be glorified in our HEALING! THAT, my friends, is the ROCK *I* stand on!

All praise and glory be to GOD! Alleluia AMEN! Godspeed…

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

This is me and how I feel and LIVE!


The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming

*it's a link to the song

The Morning after...

NEWS FLASH: ...car swerves on gravel road, does a rollover and swerves into a ditch. 13 year old girl dead, sixteen year old brother driver hospitalized! NEITHER WERE WEARING SEAT BELTS!!!
***

Well after I came home, settled down, somewhat, I had to return to reality. I wrecked the truck. My face was burning, Adams eye began swelling, and I began feeling fortunate for not being killed. I was alive but I felt I had walked through a portal and wasn’t coming back out.

I guess it was just a simple enough accident, slick road, swerving, pounding into a ditch. Simple, right? Wrong! Anxiety swept over me like a dense fog. I could not look out the window without crying. The incident kept playing over and over and over again.

BOOM went the airbags. FISSSSSSSSS went the smoke. Ears ringing, tears falling. It was a horrible experience.

The sobbing would not stop, I’d be fine, then it would hit me in the face and I’d  begin to cry. I felt alone, in pain, ashamed, hurt, sore, weary and uncertain.  Stevens mom came over, dispersed hugs, and offered her car. “What?” I thought, “DRIVE?” Oh dear, I dread driving, dread dread dread.

All of my friends were giving me warm wishes. Isn’t it funny how the people on the computer can be more consoling and understanding? Tuesday my rest day, I checked this thing two or three times, and each time I checked, my writing friends were there hugging me, and caring for me like a mom dog with her puppies. Let me tell you, the writing community is awesome! When something happens to one of us, we circle around for support to our injured comrade. My sister called, and we both agreed, I shouldn’t tell my mother.

Steven asked his mom if we could borrow the car to go to the library/food shopping on Tuesday and being the loving woman that she is, she brought the car out here. I would have to drive her back home and then drive back here. *sob* *cry* I really wasn’t worried about food or anything else for that matter, I just wanted to rest.

I got in the car, shaking, she wanted me to drive so I could get familiar with the car. Low to the ground, feet barely reaching the pedal, eyes could hardly see over the wheel, I started the car and off I went. I drove about 10 MPH up the dirt road, 40 on the asphalt.
Great, I’m driving. Get me back home now, my brain was screaming.

I made it home and the next day, Wednesday, we went food shopping. I said if I was going to go, Steven had to come too! I won’t be alone! Another 10 MPH for two miles, passed the ditch where all this occurred, hands trembling, chest tightening, tears rolling, I made it to the asphalt! Made it to the stupid library, made it to the store.

A lot of eyes looked at me sympathetically as I passed, black eye shining, obvious pain written on my face. Adam looks no better than me but his bangs can disguise his cut up forehead. We were in the public, just two days after this life altering event. Well life altering for Adam and I. We arrived home and tears came like a flood.

Today, Thursday, I have to drive about 30 miles out to his brothers house so he can look at the truck. Me? I’d much rather take it to a garage, but his brother is a mechanic and wants to look underneath the thing. Let’s see, the headlights are dangling like eyeballs hanging out of a socket, grass clings to the underbody and all through the engine, the truck smells like a swamp, mud clings to it like a silk scarf and I’m afraid driving it, is going to do more damage since it took on so much water. Does it really matter what *I* think? How I feel? Me, me me? Well the roads are wet and slippery today, so good luck me!

Rest? No, not me. Back in the saddle once again. I’ll rest when I go home.