One More Thing: The Trio

Philippians 2:14-16 (NIV) “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”

I wanted to share just one more thing before you all move along with your summer activities and get too busy to check up on lil old me. I feel like my most recent posts have been me 'grumbling' about my pain when really I wanted to share with you the reality of my day to day life in the best way possible.

Phil. 2:14-16 (KJV) Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.

The KJVersion of Phil. 2 doesn't say, 'grumblings or arguing' but grumblings is what I feel I've been doing and maybe that shouldn't be so. How can I shine a light of Christ from my soul if all you read is the grumblings of my back pain? There is a light in here and the only reason I share my murmurings are so that you do not get the picture that self-healing is all hunky-dory. It's hard work AND it is pain-filled! THAT is the reality of the situation that I took upon myself and in the end, I will blame no one for my decision but me and by then there will be no purpose in the blame game.

You know the reason for my choice in this route and that is point blank, I don't believe in drugs. I am a RECOVERED drug addict (another self-healing route at a very young age) and the thought of drugs and the process of the tiny pill that is destroying a population to this day scares me to bits! I believe and always have, that God created healing tools here on earth. When He created us, He placed all around us the true nature of healing whether it is physical, mental, or psychological; the earth holds an abundance of healing tools without the necessary means of a laboratory of synthetic drugs to 'miraculously' HEAL you. It just doesn't work that way, in my mind, anyway.

I know what my tumor looked and felt like when I was first diagnosed. After reading and researching I found information that a biopsy (the test that I was FORCED to undergo along with a mammogram and CT scan) were all links to the spreading of this disease. I did not have any idea of this because I ASSUMED that the doctors actually knew what they were doing and that THEY were right; I wrongly trusted them. 

Over the year I watched as the tumor changed shape and color and things were happening that were enough to scare the pants off of me but I held fast to the belief that 'GOD'S GOT THIS' and I settled into accepting things were going to take time. Not MY time but with HIS time. I knew that the biopsy was the damaging test that set all of this in motion. MANY of the women who I've met online in a BC support group have ALL said the same thing, except their outcome, was slightly worse than mine and for that, I'm truly grateful mine wasn't worse.

A lot of these women are not even in their thirties yet. Some are pregnant or have just given birth but all are adamant in treating this illness on their own, of course, against their doctor's wishes. They don't want to be slaughtered cows either and through the same avenues as me, diet and supplements, we are all in this self-healing together! And HEALING is what we are!

Through my grumblings you might not pick up on parts of my healing that I need to share with you, nor do you understand the method of my healing that is taking place but rest assured, I am healing! I don't boast of my hours of prayer and meditation. I don't tell you about the foods I ingest or my long year and a half journey of finding my place in this new world I have in front of me.

The trio: cancer, psoriasis, and arthritis. I've had psoriasis for about forty years (on and off), arthritis I'd say about six years since diagnosis of my lower lumbar joint arthritis, then there is cancer, the cells have been in there all of my life, awakened about eight or nine years ago and only felt and seen in 2015, diagnosed a little over a year ago on diagnosis day 1-25-17. 

The signs:
Cancer:  I saw no signs of cancer except for the lump I felt in 2015. The year my aunt, uncle and, dad died and the year I got married. What a year, huh? That is the very reason I didn't tell my husband of my lump. I had to wait for medical insurance to go through because don't believe what they tell you when they say FREE CANCER SCREENING- mammograms in the month of October. Maybe in YOUR state but this backwoods stuck in the 1800's state of mine, there were no free mammograms, and yes, I looked! I waited for my insurance to go through and I started the doctor visits and the swift cancer diagnosis came without even ONE test, then she put me through THREE tests to verify her assumption. I feel there was an easier route to diagnosing without the threat of spreading my disease, but who am I, just a little woman going up against the 'Big Bad know it all Doctors'.

Psoriasis: Physically visible my skin was as scaly as a fish! I had dry patches on my elbows and knees, my ears, and my back. This is a chronic illness that kept me in jeans and long sleeves for most of my life. There were times that it healed (so I know the signs of the healing) but over the years it has gotten worse. 

Arthritis: This did not surface until the year of the trips to Omaha took place. The too numerous-to-count, to me four-hour trips, that left my back in pain that I'd never known before. It cost me my ability to walk right. While the trips gained my husband his eyesight back, it cost me the ability to walk. I went to an NP (nurse practitioner) who had an office in a little town and she sent me for an x-ray and it was verified I had lower-lumbar-facet-joint-arthritis; an illness the current P.A. (physicians assistant) could not find as a feasible illness. (Shrug me off) But I know different because I am in this broken body. And if truth be told, just because other people have taken trips to Omaha in two-and-a-half hours and can walk, undermines my truth in the reason I can't walk. (Try driving in high winds, two and three times a week to Omaha! Eight-hour round trips.)
{whatever will be will be}

You have the trio, the proof that they exist, and now you need to know the truth that they are healing! I don't know if you've seen the movie, 'What About Bob', if so, you will understand the term baby-steps. I know for a fact that God is in the business of miracles, and I know people who have experienced them (my husband for one, his sight restored) and I know people who think He just blinks them into existence. Let me ask you this, did the miracle of Christ's birth blink into existence? Was it easy for Mary and Joseph? Was the miracle of Christ's death blinked into existence? Was carrying the cross an easy task? You need to seriously read and understand the Bible before you can understand what I say about my healing and it not just 'blinking into existence'. 

Let me first say I trusted God from the very beginning of this diagnosis. I trusted what He was saying and where He was leading. With that, I bring my baby-steps to healing and my continued healing!

Psoriasis: In the beginning when I began this journey my scars were visible and embarrassing, to say the least. Now, my 'sores' look like targets. I have big circles like a ring of fire, where the sore began and the center is in the clearing stages. Smooth skin is resurfacing and yes, it's taking its time, but it IS a work in progress moving FORWARD in healing and not getting worse. No new sores appearing.

Arthritis: The pain subsided for months last year as my tumor seemed to grow. Three levels of healing Psoriasis, Arthritis, and the Big C, all taking turns on the healing journey. The signs ARE there! While the pain may be back for a time...

Big C: The tumor is now in the SHRINKING phase. VISIBLY SHRINKING! I can't say much more without showing you a picture (eww gross) and I only wished I was of this techno world that takes a pic of everything just to document my PROOF. But then again let's go back to the Bible... show me pics as proof. (that is sarcasm, friends) We only have words to go on and as this journey of mine, it's all in my words. 

Go back and read my words from the beginning, it's all there. One day, my family might finally stumble upon my words and they'll finally SEE, CHRIST IN ME! As I take baby-steps toward my healing, I am enjoying each and every breath in the day because let's face it, as we enjoy these summer months, one never knows what the next day has in store. Cherish the day! 

May God bless each and every one of you! Have a beautiful Summer! Godspeed...

1 John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

God's Not Done...

Rom. 8:25 "But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

God’s Not Done

On Friday the 6th I began writing a blog post aimed at a Monday posting titled God’s Not Done… but if I had gotten it done, I would’ve posted it Saturday. Unfortunately it didn’t get done. Sunday I watched a sermon online, it was an Easter sermon. What jumped out at me were these words, “We can’t reach up to God He reaches down to us and assures us He is not done with us.”

Where had I heard those words, ‘He’s not done’? Oh that’s right, from my blog post I was writing on Friday! Coincidence? I think not! It was a direct message, a message on transformation! So here is what I had written on Friday.

God is not done…

God is not done with me yet! He’s busy transforming this broken, damaged, diseased woman into something beautiful; a cherished work of art that shines His Light in the dark places!

The statistics are in and the researchers have concluded that 90% of cancers are a result of diet, lifestyle, and environmental factors. And the single biggest factor is what you eat. Imagine that! We are what we eat! My lifestyle was eating junk and crud and look at me now in the battle of my life trying to reverse the damage.

It’s pretty sad that I’ve only begun embracing this new lifestyle after the diagnosis of an illness. I’m continuing to dig deep within my wounds, as deep as my arm will reach, to heal the core of the damage and make peace with my past. God and I are alone on this journey as there are parts so weathered and stained for the naked eye that I keep them there, never to write about. I guess you could say they are the demons in my closet.

Philippians 1:29 (NIV) “For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him.”

I’m not changing just a portion of my life, I’m changing everything one hundred percent! [finishing post] I’m surrendering my all to God because I know He is looking down on me, reaching out to me, shaping me and transforming me for a better life.

Life sometimes takes hold of us to where we’re blinded by all of the chaos in the world. From the crazy weather, to the sudden deaths, to the upheaval of life as we know it. If you tell me your weather is just fine and dandy where you live, give it time, you’ll see the craziness He has planned coming to your state. God is not done with us yet.

Moving along, at first, I was bitter and angry and slowly I was losing patience. I was paranoid and frustrated and sought to be healed or let go. He didn’t let me go, He held on tighter and tighter and popped open my eyes so I could see a little more clearly.

The chaos in the world can lead to isolation. You’re running along just fine until someone tosses a roadblock up and you sit idle for far too long. Maybe you’re in a raging storm held back by gridlock. Maybe an angry blizzard came up and movement forward is at a standstill. Maybe you’re getting tired of the unethical society being the controlling factor in day-to-day living. Maybe you think you have life under control but rest assured, He’s not done with you yet.

Job 14:19 “The waters wear the stones: thou washest away the things which grow out of the dust of the earth; and thou destroyest the hope of man.”

Recently I’ve noticed a slow migration from Facebook. People are dropping off of the radar for days if not weeks at a time. Last week someone asked, why are people leaving Facebook? I mentioned that maybe they’re tired of Big Brother watching their every move. I received a very aggressive snappy reply that said, “If you’re tired of Big Brother watching you, turn off your computer!” It is that type of nastiness that is causing people to migrate away from Facebook. It’s no longer a place of fun and sharing information in a congenial manner. It’s a paranoid aggression at its finest.

I myself could care less if Big Brother is watching my every move; I’m not doing anything wrong so I don’t have anything to hide. I could care less if they control the Internet, I’ll just find a hobby that doesn’t enlist the aid of online research, like painting and coloring. No skin off of my nose but apparently something is causing this mass migration.

Something is causing this shift in weather. Something is provoking this deviation in attitudes of negative energy that people are sending out. Something is compelling people to wake up and realize God is not done with us yet and are removing themselves out of fear and uncertainty. At first, in my paranoia, I thought it was just me, feeling like I had gone and done something wrong in steering people to a healthier lifestyle. I’ve come to the realization that people are who they are, and kill what they must, they’ll continue where they will and dust what they dust.

Job 6:20 “They were confounded because they had hoped; they came thither, and were ashamed.”

As my, hopefully short, hiatus begins, I leave you, my fellow Christians with hope! There IS hope in tomorrow. There is hope in saving yourself. There is promise in transforming the old you into a new being of Christ’s. You might not see it as you gaze at the corrupt land you live; the unscrupulous badgering society is taking but there IS hope! God’s not done with you yet! Remember that with every breath. 

Death without the hope of the resurrection and eternal life brings despair!

He is RISEN! 

All Praise and Glory to God!

Acts 24:15 “And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust.”

God's Not Dead, He is surely alive, living on the inside roaring like a lion! 

Poetry Sunday ~ I Was Weeping

Christ-mas display in Texas 

John 19:25-26 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

I was weeping…

There were some who placed Him on the cross;

while others pulled His linen to toss.

Some were poking spears in his side

while women below were weeping and cried.

I was weeping.

Men were standing there mocking Him

some laughed and scoffed as His eyes grew dim.

Wails could be heard all across the way

as God put an end to the longest day.

I was wailing.

Some contend He was a guilty man

but only God knew his master plan.

Carried off to a cold empty tomb,

women followed; their faces bore gloom.

I was full of gloom.

In three days she came looking for

a Man that laid in the tomb no more.

Run and tell men to praise and sing

The Lord has risen, our Savior and King!

I was singing!

While many stood in disbelief

there were some who felt great relief.

Not all men nailed Him to that cross

Some people wept and felt the loss.

I was weeping.

Matt. 28:5-9 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

Quotation Saturday ~ Quotes of Billy Graham

Pss. 50:5 “Gather my saints together unto me; those that have made a covenant with me by sacrifice.”

The picture above was taken on a day filled with gray skies and snow. The sun was setting and popped out long enough for me to capture this image on February 21.

On February 21, 2018  the world lost a great man on a mission to do God’s work, Billy Graham. He preached the Word of God for over 60 years! He ministered to presidents and children, the rich and the poor, the sick and the healthy.
He was born on November 7, 1918 and passed away one year shy of 100 years old. 
When I was a child, my dad, a Catholic, used to watch Billy Graham Ministries on Sundays. He admired him from afar and that made me respect my dad even more. When I became a born-again Christian, converting from Catholicism, I felt safe walking toward the Light of Christ because I knew I always had one man whose word I could turn to and trust the Word of God from, Mr. Graham. Rest in the arms of the Lord, kind sir.

On Suffering:

“Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has.”

"Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys."

“When we come to the end of ourselves, we come to the beginning of God."

“Someone asked me recently if I didn’t think God was unfair, allowing me to have Parkinson’s and other medical problems when I have tried to serve him faithfully. I replied that I did not see it that way at all. Suffering is part of the human condition, and it comes to us all. The key is how we react to it, either turning away from God in anger and bitterness or growing closer to him in trust and confidence.”

“Believers, look up – take courage. The angels are nearer than you think.”

“Quit beating yourself up. We all live under grace and do the best we can.”

On his Home - Heaven

“My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world.”

 “Heaven is full of answers for which nobody ever bothered to ask.”

“God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.”

“The moment we take our last breath on earth, we take our first in heaven.”

“He lives in the hearts of those who trust in Him. Our confidence in life after death comes from these very truths.” 

On Jesus:

“God proved his love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, ‘I love you.’”

“Christ not only died for all: he died for each.”

“We say to our children, 'Act like grown-ups,' but Jesus said to the grown-ups, 'Be like children.'

"The only hope for enduring peace is Jesus Christ."

“Without the resurrection, the cross is meaningless.”

“The cross shows us the seriousness of our sin—but it also shows us the immeasurable love of God.”

“It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love.” 

“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."

On God's Purpose for Us:

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”

“God never takes away something from your life without replacing it with something better.”

“Take one day at a time. Today, after all, is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

"God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with.We are not cisterns made for hoarding; we are channels made for sharing.”

“The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls' ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will deeply root inside us and give us inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus.” 

On Living with Eyes Fixed on Eternity:

“I've read the last page of the Bible, it's all going to turn out all right.”

“There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men.”

“If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life.”

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.”

“When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.”

“Knowing we will be with Christ forever far outweighs our burdens today! Keep your eyes on eternity!”

“World events are moving very rapidly now. I pick up the Bible in one hand, and I pick up the newspaper in the other. And I read almost the same words in the newspaper as I read in the Bible. It’s being fulfilled every day round about us.”

On Loving God and Others:

“It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love.”

“A real Christian is the one who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.”

“Sin is the second most powerful force in the universe, for it sent Jesus to the cross. Only one force is greater—the love of God.”

“The framers of our Constitution meant we were to have freedom of religion, not freedom from religion.”

“They asked her (Ruth Graham) did she ever think about divorce and she said, ‘No, I’ve never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage, but,’ she said, ‘I did think of murder a few times.’”

“Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone – except God.”

On Preaching

“We are the Bibles the world is reading; we are the creeds the world is needing; we are the sermons the world is heeding.”

“I have never known anyone to accept Christ’s redemption and later regret it.”

“Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength.”

“Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion – it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ.”

"The message I preach hasn't changed. Circumstances have changed. Problems have changed, but deep inside man has not changed, and the gospel hasn't changed."

The story does not end with the cross, for Easter points us beyond the tragedy of the cross to the empty tomb. It tells us that there is hope for eternal life, for Christ has conquered evil and death and hell. Yes, there is hope.”

“Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!” 

Rev. Billy Graham

2 Cor. 13:13 "All the saints salute you."

Happy Ending

Gen. 6:13 "And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth."

A Happy Ending

Who doesn’t like a happy ending? We watch movie after movie waiting, wanting, expecting a happy ending. We go through life with the same expectancies and when we’re let down over and over we become pessimistic expecting the bottom to drop out.

I live in a house with two men, one my son and one my husband, both pessimistic. My son says he’s a realist! I say, “You’re a stubborn pessimist!” How is reality always seeing the bad? You’re looking to buy a new car, you wait expectantly for everything to go wrong, everything goes right, now you wait for the car itself to go wrong. There’s no end to everything going wrong in a realists mind! Then as soon as they expect something to go right, it follows suit and goes remarkably wrong.

Day after day you expect everything to go wrong? Well, no wonder your life is dismal. No wonder you’re a pessimist always seeing the wrong instead of the right. I am a full-blooded, passionate, optimist in every regard. When things do go wrong, I always see the good intricately tied in there. These things happened for a reason and I SEE the reason and embrace everything that is dished out whether to me, others, or the world. I might not like it but that is no reason to see the bad in everything.

While Christmastime focused on the Christ child, February is focused on a Saint Valentine, in short, he was a martyr all in the name of LOVE. I’m not Catholic so I really don’t follow saint days but here we are in the 21^st century and people, like with Christmas, have made February 14th more about materialism than for Christ/love respectively.

No wonder the suicide rate is highest in these two months; loneliness, shortcomings, unworthiness is at an all-time high in December and February because the pessimistic society sees everything wrong and none of the right in their lives. This saddens me because this pessimism and negativity have shaped our very world that we live.

I know I’ve said this over and over but I’m going to say it again. When I got this diagnosis, the doctors WANTED me to fear, they wanted to scare me into submission by telling me all that could go wrong, all that has gone wrong with millions of patients worldwide! When I threw optimism into the mix, they looked puzzled. This was one of those times that you look at supposed educated smarter people and wonder how they ever got by in life. I felt the thread of support from the doctor’s burning and singeing leaving me dangling.

Did that deter me from my positive route? NO! When I asked two doctors, that if I didn’t believe chemo was ever going to work for me, would it still be the cure-all they touted, they both said no, it would not work for me, the mind has everything to do with the outcome. I asked that if alternative treatment would work if I BELIEVED it will work, they buckled, searching their brains for what to say. Their minds were like scrambled eggs before being put on the hot fire. I knew right then and there that my alternative route was going to be my happy ending!

I know too many people who have gone the chemotherapy route and died. I know people who went that route and lived. Ask them what worked for them. I would bet money that they can say they believed their doctor, they believed in the system, they believed they’d be healed. Their mind healed them, not the radioactive chemicals coursing through their veins. What they believed was happening as the juice ran its course is what gave them a positive outcome. Had they pessimistically viewed the situation the outcome would have been markedly different.

Ask them what keeps them going; they’ll more than likely tell you the will and determination to LIVE! Their minds are defining their route in life. Our optimism and pessimism are shaping our lives. The over-abundance of pessimism in today’s society has shaped the angry world. Look at the earthquakes, tsunamis, flooding, devastation, murder rate, suicide they are all residual effects of the dismal down sighted pessimistic world.

I know quite a few of you who will say, “It was written in the Bible!” I believe that to be true too, I’ve never alluded to the bible not being prophetic. God knows what He created. He knew what our withered minds were capable of manifesting. Now you see before you how well your pessimism worked. It has BECOME your reality!

All that we BELIEVE will shape our happy ending! Remember that on your deathbed. Your pessimism will have you meeting the snake of fear, the fires of hell, the torment you put your mind through will carry you away. Your last breath of optimism will have you breathlessly meeting your Heavenly Father in a beautiful, painless, worry-free realm of possibilities conjoining with eternal living! You are in total control of your Happy Ending.

 Matt. 1619 "And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Addicted to Love

Total Solar Eclipse 9-21-17

Pss. 72:13 “He shall spare the poor and needy, and shall save the souls of the needy.”

Addicted to Love

Do you know of an addict? Whether to drugs, coffee, alcohol, food, pain, or the internet? There are many different addictions in this society all of which we either ignore, embrace, dive into and believe we are exempt, we just call them habits.

I’m a habitual addict. I’ve been addicted to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, you name it but the one that has lasted the longest is my addiction to God. Yup, you read it right, I’m addicted to God. I know the signs, I’ve lived with addictions all of my life and God is one addiction I don’t want to be released from. God is Love so in essence, I’m addicted to Love.

Can a person be addicted to God? I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes right now and saying I’ve gone too far but seriously, Jesus was my first crush, my first love! If any of you have had a first love while you may have loved many other people in your life, none other is remembered as the first love. Like a marker of how far you’ve come in life or how much you’ve loved and how much you’ve been loved.

As you know, since I’ve told you my story over and over, I paint a bleak picture of my life as a child, I color my family (bloodline) in a dark light because I know no other shade to paint them. A perfect example is that I tell members of my family that I have a disease that many have accepted as a killer disease and a disease that has taken a good portion of family members over my life, but no one has shown signs of caring for me. Except for my niece, a cousin who offered money, compassion and prayer and maybe my sister care but that’s it. I come from a big family and they are so consumed with their money and living their own high life or low life that the peon Joni warrants no thought.

Now I know some of you will say that maybe they don’t know what to say in this circumstance or that they don’t know how to approach me but please don’t try to make me feel better here, these people care only about themselves and are addicted to their own lives. Eleven months is a long enough time to show some sort of heartwarming response. They are the very reason I had all of those other negative addictions in the first place, I looked for love and found it nowhere except in drugs and alcohol. I raised up an addictive personality, so when I accepted Christ into my life, I craved, yearned, sought the completeness that no other addiction gave me.

I gave up the negative addictions and quietly replaced them with the non-life threatening ones like God, writing, books, the Internet, and food. Yes, you can be addicted to food, look at society, the ones not addicted to the harmful substances are more than likely consumed with a non-lethal substance consuming their life. As we all know, too much of even a good thing can be bad for us but note, for ME, I’ve never found anything bad with drinking the richness of God except that I may have lost a few friends along the way.

I overindulge myself in the Word to the extent I may come off as self-righteous when really all I am is a human being in love with the Lord. It’s hard sometimes viewing the world and seeing friends as equals when all I see is a blinding Light shining in my eyes. Squinting and peering through the slivers in my eyes doesn’t allow me to see much of anything and in the New Year, I aim to work on looking around and making a note to find anything out there that makes living worth it all.

Now don’t get me wrong, my memory hasn’t allowed me to memorize scripture verse by verse. The drugs and alcohol addictions damaged brain cells so much so that I have a hard time retaining input. I remember the essential parts of God and that is good enough for Him and I. In the beginning of my faith journey, I dissected the love of my life with a fine-toothed comb, from the beginning to what I perceive as the end times, but honestly, I don’t do the dissecting anymore as it takes my eyes off of my final destination.

Our addictions shape us, literally! Food shapes us, our consumptions mold us, and often times we can’t see past the roadblocks that we’ve placed neatly around to ‘protect’ us from the outside world. It is during the Christmas season that people get a small glimpse of the outside world and what is really going on around their protective layer of their space. Compassion crawls in the door, lights shine in the dark, joy warms the heart, hope inebriates the soul. Have you ever thought as to why this happens around Christmas? It’s because for one brief moment in time people can actually get a glimpse of Christ in action throughout the season. The world opens their eyes and beholds… the Love of my life!

Jer. 31:3 “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”

I Am At Peace

Heb. 12: 14 (KJV) “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:”

I’m At Peace

I’m at peace with the decisions I make. While many will have a hard time seeing eye to eye with me, I will not be swayed by the force that tries to darken my days. 

I woke this morning, and upon reading my email I realized why I’m putting this windowed world on the back burner, to allow it to simmer down. I go right for my Encouragement For the Day, then to my verse for the day, then I move on to my bible reading for the day. 

There was other mail in my box and one, in particular, threw everything I had just read out the window and I was ready to respond in anger and offense. Instead, God’s hand touched my shoulder, He told me to breathe. By choice, I had been away from Facebook for twenty-four hours but my finger immediately went to the FB link and there I was on facebook at six in the morning.

I was expecting the same old-same old ‘this star is dead, oh wait, no he’s not, he’s hanging on, oh wait now he’s really dead’ posts. Instead, I was met with numerous scriptures on peace. A dear friend in Christ shares his walk with Christ and that was the first post that greeted me on FB. A friend of his posted a link to a sermon on ‘Overcoming Offense’! I sat for the next hour watching an excellent sermon that resonated with me and I felt a peace wash over me.

I went on to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and then backed away from Facebook because it will absorb my day instead of me seeing the true meaning in the very purpose of my living day.

Two takeaways I got from the sermon was,

“What’s born out of love will never fail.”

“The way that seems right to man always leads to death and destruction.”

Prov, 14:12 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” (KJV)

Prov. 16:11 “A just weight and balance are the LORD's: all the weights of the bag are his work.”

I am transformed not by technology; Christ transforms me daily. I live my life for Christ, not for the media, social influence, or the advancement of technology, I live for God. My life is love, which is all I care about these days is love and how love is projected outwardly from me to the world. I won’t be bogged down by offenses or past sins because I’ve been transformed. If you’ve known me over the years, I hope the one thing you see in me is God. You don’t see disease, you don’t see a distracted woman babbling, you see God in me! That is the peace I want to be projected to the world.

Prov. 16: 20 “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.”

Needless to say, I did not respond to the email that angered me or to the person who offended me. After hearing the sermon I just wanted to praise and rejoice and go on with my day, balancing what needs to be weighed in my heart and soul. 

God does not call us to offend or be offended. He calls on us to portray Him and anything else you spew opposite of love is foolish pride in yourselves. God knew that our flesh was weak. He knew we would have an ego that would allow our flesh to rule over us and guide us through life. That’s the very reason He used the message of Prov. 14 and 16 scripture TWICE so we could understand the importance of putting aside our pride and ego and just let Him live in us and through us. 

Prov. 16:25 “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”

If I allow myself to be offended by every little thing, then I let satan and his work win. He’s cunning these days, disguised in Christians wearing the veil of righteousness but when exposed by the pulling off of the veil, their ugliness shows through. I will not be the person who does the unveiling, you yourself have to look in the mirror every day and who you see when you first get out of bed is who God sees. No makeup, no perfected hair, no deception, He sees right through you. THAT is the person God loves, flaws and all!

As I near Thanksgiving I am so grateful for everything in my life I can’t list it in just one post. But the thing I am MOST grateful for? God LOVES me flaws and all! HE sees perfection in me and it is up to me to show the world what perfection looks like through my flaws.

God is great, God is good, I always pray, as I know I should! 

May God bless you this Thanksgiving and may you find the light you seek in the darkness. Be full! 

Never Lose Sight of the Light

Pss. 16:10 “For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.”

 Never Lose Sight of the Light

I think you all know by now that I’m an optimist. The past week or so I’ve been down, filled with aches and pains but the one thing that keeps me trudging through the mire is never losing sight of the Light. 

I can feel all of your pain for me as I unleash some of my darkened days. Rest assured my friends, they are far and few in between. It may seem like many days and to me, imagine, it seems like walking through the fires of hell but then I’m reminded, we all have to go through hell before we ever taste the sweetness and beauty of heaven. Even Jesus himself descended into hell before ascending to heaven, so what makes you or I any better than Christ?

If I just shared all of my happy, happy, joy days, that would not be giving you a realistic picture of all that I’m going through. I could lie and paint pretty murals of a joyous journey of beating one of the most devastating diseases eating man and woman alive this day and age. No, I’m choosing a realistic approach and giving to you the good, the bad, the ugly along with the strength and beauty along the pathways of my survival.

I might also want to add that I’m still learning as I go and believe it or not while there are tons of compassionate caring folks out in the world, there is an equal amount of naysayers who just don’t agree with a person doing alternative treatment. They think science is right, doctors are trained professionals and that is who they believe, everyone else is just quacks! I have to steer clear of those people but they get through the protective cracks of open groups on Facebook like Chris Warks? You know, the young man who is celebrating 14 years cancer free after going alternative? 

I read a comment on a thread on his FB page about how science is right, Chris is promoting people to kill themselves and that vegetables can’t and doesn’t cure cancer! Well, had they actually watched Chris Wark's module they would have known that at no time does Chris say vegetables cure cancer. He pretty much touches base on EVERYTHING as the cause and he talks about the spiritual side of the healing, the supplement side as well as the juicing side. But he still never claims it to be a cure but people attack him constantly calling him a fraud! He never responds because he has work to do, he doesn’t sit on facebook all day fielding questions and fighting back with the TRUTH of HIS HEALING!

I do understand that everyone has an opinion but in your opinion where you think you’re right, do you lash out at a person so you can be on the high horse? You know what it makes you look like right? 

I don’t believe in science to be 100% right all of the time. I have a good reason. To me, Science is just a theory of a brief moment in time awaiting another theory to prove it wrong. I think that is why I don’t hold doctors with all their years of education to be right about everything. There will come along a smarter wiser and better-studied physician who will prove them wrong. 

Did you know that scientists' thought that all mammals gave live birth? They proved that no mammal laid eggs that is until a new theory came along with the discovery in Australia, of the duck-billed platypus! The furry little platypus not only shocked the zoologists with its beaver-like flapping tail and wide duck bill, but the critter also was the only known warm-blooded, fur-covered mammal that lays eggs! How's that for science?

You see, when I walk this walk, it is toward the Light and I do not stop at the stagnant end of the tunnel where the scientist-doctor know it alls are standing there keeping people from seeing any source of light waiting at the other end of the tunnel for them. It is their way or no way. You HAVE to be wrong because they studied for years upon years and believe what they are selling you to be the truth. Then there’s the platypus that blew their whole theory to smithereens. What do you do with that? 

I know what I do, I follow Moses, David, and Christ because they were the platypus’ of their day. They were the ‘quacks’ if I’ve read and believed the Word correctly. There are people today who are dead set against any belief in the Holy Bible. They are set in their ways at remaining at the end of the dark end of the tunnel and really see no reason to make it to the other side, even if to prove their theory wrong, they’re on their high-horse and millions of Christians worldwide are the ones wrong.

There are SOME people willing to stand up and detach themselves of the stigma that governments made sure their people adhered to. Like cannabis, for example, it is an HERB, it is not a DRUG, it is a medicinal healing HERB, yet there are those floundering because of the stigma they are conformed to, as sad as that may be.

Chemotherapy is a toxic DRUG, one which many were led into the darkened tunnel to believe to be the CURE for a DEADLY disease. I think the platypus FACT can be used here; it came along and shattered the scientists’ theory of mammals. There is science to PROVE that chemo is not the only route, but the high-horse men won’t let facts through the tunnel because they’ll lose billions of dollars.

As I walk through the darkened tunnel, I’m bound to trip and fall. I’m going to have pain-filled days, I’m going to have doubts and fears only because that is the way I was conditioned. I SEE the Light at the end of the tunnel, I FEEL the healing taking place. I have unearthed a TRUTH that was right in front of me all along. Amid death, destruction, floods, pestilence, and raging fires can you say the same? 

My message of HOPE is this…NEVER lose sight of the Light that will one day bring you home!

The LORD says, “See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.” — Isaiah 42:9 (NIV)

Patience, My Precious

Before the storm

Pss. 47:1  “O clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph.”

Patience, my Precious

We live in a world where we want things and we want them now, our way and it’s the only way, no one is willing to be patient and wait. Oh, they’ll wait for a day or a week or two but that’s it!

We have people who cry out for healing and they want it now, they want a miracle to just poof into existence with no waiting. They don’t want to do anything but sit back, pray and wait for the miracle to enter their lives. Well let me tell you, that is not how it works. 

As anyone can tell you, I am the first person to believe in miracles but even with the conception of a child, you must wait nine months before you see the ‘miracle’ child. Why is childbirth considered a miracle, because not every pregnancy turns into a live birth. Every mother knows the pains that one has to go through before this little miracle comes forth into the world.

So why would any other miracle be any different? What makes you so special that you don’t have to go through pain and suffering? God loves change. He loves it so much he draws us out of our comfort zone and tosses us into a lion’s den, so to speak. He observes, he listens and he hears. I have many non-believer friends who think that is just a cruel God and will not follow or serve anything that doesn’t serve them. People want to be the god of their life. They want to control the good, the bad and the ugly but honestly, I’ve yet to see anyone happy with handling the ugly in life.

Life is hard and people are not willing to have the patience to wait out the storm, they want what they want, when they want it, and they want it now! If my God can’t do that for them, then phooey on my God. If only they could hear how selfish and lonely that sounds.

While I look around and see a nation of give me and wants, I see very few people with the patience of the very people they read and believe in the Bible. Daniel, Ruth, the Hebrews in Egypt, nobody is willing to be THAT patient, believer or not, they want a miracle now!

I am a faithful servant. I’m no different than Job or Moses, Noah or Ruth. Times may have changed, the planet may have changed but God using His servants have not changed one bit. We’re called to endure, we’re asked to be patient, He expects us to be faithful and trust in Him. He wants us to be all He created us to be, His disciplined children.

When I was diagnosed with this disease, it was like I was standing out in left field and instead of catching the ball, it smacked me right in the face! A wake-up call shook me to my knees. Pain, tears, wonder, sorrow, shame the emotions flooded in like the crowd of disgruntled fans as I missed the ball. They were not worried about my face exploding into pieces; the people were too consumed with the loss of the game.

I embrace the diagnosis. While I am not out of the woods yet and still have a long way to go, I choose to be patient and see where it is I’m being led. I am a faithful servant who will cry out to God and ask Him to show me where the path leads. I will patiently wait, in the midst of struggle, the duration of pain, and I will not complain about all I have to endure. I will try and show you how to sail without sails; move forward without a compass, strengthen without food. 

Willpower. Willpower is that force that little David had with him when he went out and fought the giant Goliath. People wonder where this little fella got the strength to fight such a huge beast. Let me tell you, I think I know where he got the strength from, that little thing called faith. Faith in not only one's self but faith in an all-powerful God to be with you and carry you. When you have neither your willpower nor faith, your strength to fight will wane; your patience lost. It is a fact. You have to embrace both.

I am an alien in this world. I am living to die but I am living to obtain an eternal place in the heavens where I am a part of a society where I fit in, belong. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

Seeing The Light

Eph. 5:26 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,"

Seeing the Light

After many days of rain and no sunshine, I finally saw the light the other day and I ran and got my camera. I took a couple of pictures just to prove I knew the orb was still out there in the universe spinning! Without it, I lack Vit. D in a big way and leaves me with stress in trying to bring vibrancy and the vitamin into my world via supplementation. For what seems like months, the sun has been a rare event as well as warmth which can sadden anyone in what is supposed to be Spring! 

Out here in Nebraska, we had such a warm and mild winter, the farmers thought they’d start early with tilling the fields and planting. That turned out to be a bad idea since we’ve had freezing temps and many of the fields need to be redone. Also, we’ve had so much rain the fields flooded out making the farmers well aware that no matter what they do, He is still in charge! 

Recently I read the sad news that I shouldn’t be eating the nightshade vegetables. The ones that are more than likely causing me inflammation are peppers (red and green), cayenne pepper, and tomatoes! I’m going to try and cut back on these. I know I overindulge in these but only because I read they were on the non-acidic list or the alkaline list. I didn’t look into what was causing the flare up of my arthritis and while my Boswellia has a remarkable effect I still have some back pain and I now KNOW it is from my overindulgence in red bell peppers and tomato everything!

Goodness, what things we need to learn to regain our health! This is the nightshade list and while I don’t have a problem with many, the peppers (cayenne, hot, and bell) and tomatoes jumped out at me as my over indulgence lay glaring in my face like the once hidden sunshine.  

Ashwagandha
Bell peppers (a.k.a. sweet peppers)
Bush tomato
Cape gooseberry (also known as ground cherries—not to be confused with regular cherries)
Cocona
Eggplant
Garden huckleberry (not to be confused with regular huckleberries)
Goji berries (a.k.a. wolfberry)
Hot peppers (such as chili peppers, jalapenos, habaneros, chili-based spices, red pepper, cayenne)
Kutjera
Naranjillas
Paprika
Pepinos
Pimentos
Potatoes (but not sweet potatoes)
Tamarillos
Tomatillos
Tomatoes

Like I said in my 5 25 17 post, four things cancer finds comfort in and snuggles up to is a virus, inflammation, bacteria, and fungus; all four of which I’ve battled throughout my life with and I realize NOW as the root cause of this disease eating away at me. No, I wasn’t sent to battle ONE illness, I have three or four, yay me! I AM a warrior! 

With Memorial Day approaching as the call to honor war veterans who have died in battle, I think of the ones who lived with the battle circling around them as they fought, trying to survive the killing war. I guess that would be what Veterans Day is for. I also think of all of the people who lighten the somber weekend with a cookout and have the day off of work rejoicing in a three-day weekend, giving nary a thought of the men who died in battle.

While I respect the Armed Forces and all of the government holidays celebrating them, my Memorial Day will be filled with thoughts of all of the family members I lost to the Battle of Cancer. There is no national holiday memorializing their loss and cancer has wiped out millions! 

I am not minimizing the Veterans of war; I have many members of my family who have served. I salute them for their service. But I have every right to memorialize my family members who lost the battle of their disease because there will be no government holiday remembering those victims. 

This week has been a somber week as I try and maintain my optimism. While I see the Light at the end of this tunnel and continue to wake thanking the Lord for being allowed to be a voice to the people, I have my days where optimism wanes. Four months in and it is quite difficult to daily wake up and be the pep who can’t eat peppers, the zip with a zing, the life amid so much death.

Hubby’s family will have another get-together next week and it will be yet another one I miss. I will be ready to celebrate with them by Christmas I hope, but I am still not ready yet for questions, unhealthy food, and celebration. I’m still in the early stages of acceptance of this disease, which is more earth-shattering than my psoriasis or arthritis, that’s for sure. They only know I’m battling the ‘C’ and arthritis and while they love me, they still have questions as to my choice in this path. I can hear everyone’s thoughts, “What, no drugs? Is she insane?” I can assure you I’m not, I’m saved!

Prov. 17:22 (NIV) “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” 

As I move forward and accept the fact that some ‘friends’ have given me the cold shoulder, I move forward into the Light and pray for their wounded souls. I don’t pray for myself as often as I should because there seem to be so many more people out there in the world worse off than me and they need my prayer.

As I seek and find the source of my optimism I stay in touch via my writing as often as I’m led to the words that fill me, I offer them to you. Remember, we are all members of one body. As you unknowingly hurt one, you hurt the other members and as you knowingly seek out to hurt one, you hurt the many. 

From my morning devotional from Bible Gateway: “Solomon assures us a cheerful heart is good medicine for the soul, the mind, and the body. Positive thoughts lead to a positive outlook which leads to a positive heart and a positive life. Negative thoughts lead to a broken spirit which impacts our minds, emotions and our lives.” Life in the flesh is another toxin invading the battlegrounds.

May God bless you all this weekend with loving memories of Veterans who have passed as well as family members who have passed. May your heart and soul be filled with love.

Romans 12:3-5 (NIV) "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

Fort McHenry

Locust Point, Baltimore, Maryland

My hometown

Continued Healing...

Prov. 14:30 (NIV) "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."

When people say that all I’m doing to heal this most dreaded disease on the planet is hokey stuff, well turn yourself around, this hokey stuff is of sound doctrine you know? Look at the above verse. A heart at peace gives LIFE to the body!

You see, the Bible tells us to use the herbs of the land. It tells us to eat the right foods and the GMO filled toxic food is NOT biblically sound food to eat. I realized something this week with our shopping journey, it’s not just the food that I can’t eat that brings me down, it’s looking at a sick nation consumed with overeating. 

We’re not just living in an overweight nation, we’re living in an obese nation. I’m not pointing fingers at people or judging you because maybe there is a medical reason for your weight issues; I’m talking about looking out into the world and seeing people being consumed by food, not the other way around.

If you’re a label reader as I’ve now become you’ll see the processors of food have used manipulative ways to get you to buy their product with words like ‘all natural’, ‘healthy’, 'vitamin filled’ but when you read the ingredients, safflower, soy, lecithin, oils. Oils of any kind are not natural and healthy. colors and dyes are not natural and neither are dextro- anything or -oxides.

In biblical times the overweight people were reserved for the kings of the land. The rich over indulged while the poor withered away to nothing. Today it is the poor that are growing in size and the rich are affording the only healthy food on this planet. Do you know why? Because we’ve been manipulated by the system!

People go on diets all the time, they try and try to lose the weight, they use every (processed) source of achieving their desired weight and then in a couple of years, the battle has to resume because the diet failed or is it because they weakened? 

In these past four months, I’ve learned a lot about myself, that’s usually what fasting does, clarifies spiritual insights to yourself that need tending. I obviously needed to be more aware of my health and basically this change in food lifestyle (I will not call it a diet) was forced on me and I’ve learned I have the willpower and strength of some Super Hero of the comic books! 

What I’ve also learned is that cancer likes four things: virus, bacteria, inflammation, and fungus. These four things are the breeding ground for the disease. All four of which I've struggled with my whole life. You add emotional stress and trauma to the mix and your C cells start multiplying like rabbits. 

While we live in a nation that believes in the Big Pharma ways of healing, teaching doctors to slice and dice patients and drugging them, there is a small portion (growing by the minute) that teaches different ways to heal that doesn’t start with fear, slice, dice, and radiate. Why would our people be against the natural type of CURE for a disease that is sweeping the nation and taking out people like fumigating ants?

I find it quite admirable when people are trying to lose weight and better their health. They need the strength of a Super Hero and sometimes they find it in the Will of God, or by giving up what they lust after, one can lust after unhealthy food, you know. People say I don’t know WHY I ate that five pounds of chocolate, or that extra helping of mashed potatoes, or that extra thick juicy steak. They know why, they craved it, lusted for it and became filled with it and afterward they rejoiced but then in their mind, they live with regret as they feel bloated, gassy and pain-filled. I know their doctors are sure happy. 

True contentment in life isn’t about having what you want and crave, it’s about being appreciative and grateful for what you already have. I have a disease. I’m thankful God didn’t wipe me out; He awakened me and gave me a second chance. When people are told they have this disease, do you think that’s what they’re saying? Thank you, Lord? I don’t think so because I know what my initial reaction was and I know the God slap moment I had almost immediately in the following days. 

I have dug and dug, research upon research and am finding quite an arsenal of unconventional healing techniques out in this world that I hope and pray are one day the more conventional method of treating this disease. I can tell by people’s reaction to my method of healing, that this world has a long way to go in understanding everything. 

People say they believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but when someone turns to this method of healing, they’re frowned upon. It’s as if those pedestal-people feel they hold all the truth and knowledge about God and His kingdom, and no ditzy blond in the twenty-first century is going to tell them anything differently! 

Heb. 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

I know to heal from this disease no method is going to work if I don’t believe in it and that is one of the main things that Naturopath agree upon. If you believe chemo will work, it works and they head you in that direction. If you don’t believe chemo will work for you (like me) it won’t work, it’ll be more disastrous. I am not buying into the disaster route. I’m following the healing route all the way!

To HEAL you must start with your Spirit. God sent the Holy Spirit to fill us and the Holy Spirit is not just in us to praise and worship it is there for us to find healing! With calling on the healing the Spirit brings with Him, we tap into our mind which is the storehouse of past traumas, events, negative and positive that we’re going to call on the Holy Spirit to heal with us, together, never ever alone! Only then can we think that the change of lifestyle and supplementation will be the powerhouse to our healing.

If you’re fighting overweight issues and not seeing results, maybe you went about it backward; supplementation, therapy, then turning to God. This ditzy blond is going to tell you, that’s not how it works. This is what I’ve learned over the past four months. Much of this is new to me, especially where the Big C is concerned. 

I’ve always been tuned into God, but I gave no care for my mind or body. I assumed things could all just stay neatly in the closet while I lived. Nope! Spring cleaning people! HEAL with the Spirit, unconventionally tackle the mind, THEN turn your body into the flourishing temple God created!

2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV) “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

The Onion: Peeling Away Layers

1 John 1:5 “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

The Onion: Peeling Away the Layers

An onion, peeled away, layer by layer unveils a richness of flavor and health benefits; onions are good for you. As I peel away layers of my life, portions I had long forgotten and portions I’ll never forget are resurfacing. Sometimes it takes an earth-shattering diagnosis to make you stand up, take a full inventory of what you’ve stored and what needs to be let go. 

It has only been four months (this coming Wednesday) of my diagnosis that I began peeling away every essence of my being. At first I was distraught and I wanted to surrender to a slow death but instead, God had me rise above; He had me begging for life and only a life on earth with Him would suffice.

I began by peeling away layers of myself with God beside me with a broom and dustpan. He swept away the layers that brought me to this diagnosis and together we walked the healing path. Never alone I walked away from the hindrances that society would have me enslaved to, I parted ways with the negative influences that carried me here and I rose above the toxic world to find the Light of a healing path.

Isa. 18:2 “That sendeth ambassadors by the sea, even in vessels of bulrushes upon the waters, saying, Go, ye swift messengers, to a nation scattered and peeled, to a people terrible from their beginning hitherto; a nation meted out and trodden down, whose land the rivers have spoiled!”

Did you know the 555 ft. Washington Monument construction began in 1848 and six years later had to be stopped for lack of funding? It would be twenty-five years before reconstruction began again. Jesus began his ministry and it wouldn’t be complete for a couple of years but he went out building the world with miracles, His word, and laying down the path we might want to take if we are to finish being constructed in His image.

God began our individual construction the moment our mother and father lay together and produced something of a miracle inside the womb. We are all partakers of the tastes of a miracle if we are living and breathing today. Slowly we deconstructed what God built by poisoning the very building blocks He placed in us to learn, grow and beautify His creation.

We sit here today realizing the onion we are, knowing we need to peel away the years of destruction if we are ever to taste the miracle that we were created to be. Some sit in arrogant denial and feel completed but deep down they know they are far from completion. It’s going to take years to peel away the obstructions, years to rebuild all that was lost, and it will take the rest of our lives to bring forth a message. The message that God planted in us at birth needs to be exposed, expressed, delighted in, honored and respected.

I hate to break the news to you but we were not the beautiful flower seeds we believe ourselves to be. When we see a newborn infant with his or her little pudgy wrinkled up body, we are not looking at a beautiful flower, what we see is the miracle of creation. In all honesty, newborns are funny looking, wriggling little creatures, but the beauty is the breadth of the miracle we witness. 

As the child grows construction comes to a halt as we have to watch our uncompleted work go out into the world and finish what we, God, father, mother began at conception. Either the toxic work of the world takes hold, or the solid foundation that we used as building materials is built upon. Our children too will one day see the layers that need to be peeled away before seeing a completed work of art.

Even the healthiest, fit, faith-based families will need to peel away layers. They are not plucking away beautiful perfect petals of a flower, they are peeling away layers of the onion, the pain, the heartache, the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve of their entire life. The regrets falling to the floor, the resentments being placed on the dustpan, the sin that consumed us tossed in the garbage bin. We are being perfected in Christ with every blemish on our soul. 

When oncologist #2 asked me, quite frankly, “Aren’t you afraid of dying?” A smile washed over my face as I thought of meeting the Lord and said in my most serene, humble voice, “No, not at all.” While he sat perplexed at my response, I knew right then and there where I was heading. I may have a few more layers to peel, but construction of completion is underway.

All praise and Glory to the Creator!

Matt 13: 37-40 “He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.”

Holy Week ~ Praise The Father, Praise The Son

Pss. 37:30 “The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.”

In the Day ~ Praise the Father, Praise the Son

Praise the Father, Praise the Son,

Praise the great and Holy one.

In the day when no love shines

The haughty man will rise

Holding there within his hand

The truth behind his lies.

In the day when people think

That wisdom comes from shores

It sails along the currents feed

Right into open doors.

In the day when man is fooled

By fancy ways of talking

Finding face with a false god

A feeble form of walking.

In the day when man can serve

Two masters in his pride

Humanity will surely fall

And nowhere can man hide.

In the day when man can love

Relinquish earthly hate

Walk along the path with Christ

And enter Heavens gate.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son,

Praise the Great and Holy One.

Pss. 111:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.”

Living Testimony

1 peter. 4:10 “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Living Testimony

Did you know that people who are terminally ill don’t have a choice where or when they die?

"As of June 2016, human euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Colombia, and Luxembourg. Assisted suicide is legal in Switzerland, Germany, Japan, Canada, and in the US states of Washington, Oregon, Vermont, Montana, and California."

A couple of months ago my husband went for a yearly check-up and we were told about A Living Will. His doctor said, that although we were young and presumably healthy, we should have one prepared in the event that if anything happened to either one of us, where our families might feel they know what we want in the end, this would be our notarized decision.

I boldly told hubby that I would never want to be kept alive by feeding tubes or on machines. We’ve never thought of stuff like that before and oddly this was what we were to think about but never got around to and here I sit today.

No, don’t worry, this is not going to be a downer post this is going to be the uplifting inspiring posts that you’ve come to expect from me! You see, nobody wants to think of death, yet it is a natural part of life. We want to think of uplifting positive journeys and what we need to do before, well you know, the time comes when we’re called home.

1 Pet. 4:11 “If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.”

I always see the positive in the negative and this illness is no different. I don’t see this as a time to roll over and let the doctors do with me what they will, I see this as a time to stand up as my ancestors before me weren’t strong enough to do. I’ve always been a rebel of sorts, going against the grain. For crying out loud, I chose St. Joan of Arc as my patron Saint when I was a young girl in a Catholic school when the nuns were against my CHOICE.

I’m no longer a practicing Catholic but I still do somewhat admire Joan of Arc for all she stood for. Standing for Christ when all others rejected her and thought that she shouldn’t fight in a long-running war at a very young age. What is strangely odd is that unbeknownst to me, her father's name was Jacques d’Arc. Years ago, I named one of my dogs Jacques. Yup, same spelling. Weird, huh?

Some St. Joan of Arc quotes:

“I am not afraid... I was born to do this.”

“If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me.”

“I was in my thirteenth year when I heard a voice from God to help me govern my conduct. And the first time I was very much afraid.”

From History. Com. “Against the advice of most of his counselors and generals, Charles granted her request, and Joan set off for Orléans in March of 1429 dressed in white armor and riding a white horse.”

I only bring Joan of Arc up because this is what I feel like from the doctor’s trying to force me to get chemo and feel they will burn me at the stake as soon as I mention talking to God about this decision. They can’t burn me at the stake here in a free country but if I was under eighteen, you can bet they WOULD force me single-handedly to take the chemo route. 

My mother's aunt had breast cancer, went the chemo/butcher route and it was the family’s belief that by opening her up it allowed the disease to spread. The same thing happened to my father’s aunt and my own aunt and uncle. Ancestrally, many family members all went the same route and I’m not defying the doctor’s, besides me doing this with God, I am doing this for my deceased family members who might not have known any better or any other treatments at the time. I’m doing it for my son, my nieces, and nephews and their children who might find themselves dealt the same hand as I am dealt. I am doing this for God who keeps reminding me of Romans 8:31 “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

They need to know that it is okay to go against the grain! It’s okay to be a martyr and listen to God! It’s okay to swim against the tide, away from the fish all heading in the same direction. Stand alone if you must but always think of the greater things outside the box. This is the one legacy I’ll leave to my son and my nieces and nephews. They’ll know first and foremost I stood with God and this is where He led me and never did I doubt or fear where I was being driven. I trust Him with my life, literally. That’s what we all must do. 

As you thought this post would be a downer, you were led to a place of hope. Hope in tomorrow and hope in the Lord our God and where He leads us. The hardest part is giving Him 100% trust but when we do… I can’t explain the liberating freedom that comes along with the trust. All I do know is that I’d rather be in no other hands but His! Praise Be to God!

1 Pet. 4:12-13 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”