Winding Down... A Grand Finale

“The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” Proverbs 19:8 (NIV)

This might be one of those 'must read' posts as I wind down my blog. I've gone on hiatus many times over the years but this one is timely and essential as I need to continue healing. 

It all began back in 2005 when I started this blog, the posts didn't really feel right so I deleted the lame posts from 2005 and 2007. Then in 2008, it took off and I started getting followers and meeting other bloggers, some whom I am still friends with to this day on Facebook. It was a writing blog. A writer helping fellow writers follow their dreams as I too followed my dream of becoming a writer all the while sharing my love of God. 

Some liked that I spoke of God and I'm sure some were turned away by it, but those who liked it became my friends on Facebook, getting to know me on a more personal level. I don't remember the year the transition happened, the blog name went from One Voice, Write Right to Joni's Muse: The Poet Within. I know the transition happened at a time I was being called on every typo, misspelling and faux pas of my writing posts so I no longer felt like a reliable writing source to my fellow writers. It was no big deal, I'm a writer and we need to take criticism but sometimes, people are not gentle in their critique and even unintentionally downright hurt you!

I turned my writing muse to God and all that He's done for me. I didn't strive for grammar perfection, I just wanted to share my life story and all that I've learned over the years. No one could critique my story because it was/IS mine! My life, MY wounds, MY scars that I was sharing! People liked reading my story because I had an edge of reality, a blunt truth that not many people are willing to go into the depths of their soul and share. I shared over the years parts of my past that some would have rather kept buried but I brought it to light. I needed healing in my writing and releasing all the past wounds really helped me to find an inner peace. 

My blood family has no interest in my story. It is not their story but when I'm gone and they look over the truth, I'm sure they'll sit in shock that my story of the dysfunctional life I LIVED, is out there for the world to see. Not that the world reads my blog but many will reread all that they missed. While they [family] are back east living the life of caged emotions I am moving on and healing, not giving their lost love a second thought.

Then something happened in 2017 on the road to discovery, an illness to beat all illnesses wrapped around my body and carried me to a cave where I needed reflection and time to think just what all of this meant. I lost quite a few of what I thought were dear friends because I'm not a conventional gal by any means and they are smothered in conventional life, treatment, diagnosis, and illnesses. They live and breathe conventional where I breathe freely the air of truth that I'm given. I may be on my own with a few dear friends, my spiritual family, that have stayed with me and encourage and believe in the path I've chosen because they know, it wasn't MY choice it was the path that God chose for me. Who is anyone to judge another person's path? Whether right or wrong, it is their path, no one else's.

While I hurt over the abandonment, I see that maybe the ones who left were not really true friends and I've become okay with that. I've been alone most of my life anyway (yes with God by my side) and I'm used to not being the accepted one. Shoot, I didn't get bullied because I was Miss Popular! Then there is this year, the year of uncertainty. I'm healing, I'm moving on but from the outside world I sense fear and doubt that I can't handle on a daily basis. I don't feel many people understand what having an extra sense has caused me throughout my lifetime. People laugh and scoff in disbelief and I'm okay with that too. My own sister used to call it, 'that thing' that Joni has. She knew the extra sense existed but was never sure what to call 'that thing' that I have.

With the advent of change -- via Facebook (snooze, unfollow, and many more) options, Blogspot with their not sending my comments to my email and the ad thing from the European Union? along with not allowing 'followers' anymore, and my hits going from the 50-70 range down to the 10-20 range; everything is changing and I need to change right along with the times, it is calling me to change. 

We're also coming to a dim period of having to put my fourteen-year-old dog to sleep. It's a difficult decision for any family and this will surely keep me in my room crying for a spell. Change is coming on a personal level and a worldwide level whether anyone wants to believe it or not. I'm done listening to people who say memes annoy but then post their own. I'm tired of people not knowing a typo from a grammar mistake. I'm tired of everyone finding fault with everyone else but won't look in the mirror at their own faults. I'm also pained by watching a world silently killing themselves on drugs and toxic eating without a care to LIFE and living and making excuses for why they are the way they are.

I won't be alone. I have a strong faith and belief in God and we'll walk together on this journey and wherever we wind up will be by His grace and His alone. Just know, I AM healing and the journey IS moving right along as God has planned. I may continue to post poetry and pics, but my sharing days are done. I need me time for a bit. You all have the grace of God carrying you and may you all pace yourself where an inner healing takes place.  I pray my work for God was well received and that one person, because of my words, was changed in some way. I love you all!

Angel Always...Godspeed, my friends

Psalm 61:2-3, “From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.” (NLT)

The Branch

I crawl out on the lonely branch, 

that can't sustain my weight. 

I try to creep so still in thought, 

reflecting on my fate. 

Up on top this tree so tall, 

I find a quiet place. 

Still are sounds that whistle through, 

the leaves a patient pace. 

What is this that breaks my thought, 

I’m not alone anymore? 

The presence is surrounding me; 

it haunts my very core. 

No longer alone, my thirst is quenched, 

my essence fed by might. 

Surrounded by the stillness of, 

the Radiant Branch of Light.

You're Not Alone

Proverbs 11:2  “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

You're Not Alone

Today I am humbled. My Biblical email was once again aimed right at me. What do I gain from these emails? Insight, insight to the realization I’m not alone. 

I often think about the women who have gone before me on this journey of what I deem The Pink Parade. The journey of a patient who decided to trust in the chemo route. For years they were poked and prodded, sliced and diced, radiated and drugged, only to succumb to the battle in the end.

Then I think of the women who went the same route and survived, they are the leaders of the Pink Parade. Then there are the women who made it halfway through the chemo route and said no way, there has to be something besides the vomiting and sickness and weakness in their knees. 

In the back of my mind are the women who went full throttle into the Natural route. These women are struggling daily too but no one hears the murmurs. No one connects to the pain that they endure on a frequent basis. They’re out there alone, sometimes with no connections, friends, or family to help them along. It is to them I wish my voice to be heard. You’re not alone!

James 1:2-3 “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.”

After the couple of weeks I’ve had, of feeling so alone and isolated in a world overflowing with people, the Word steps right into my heart and soul in the strangest and most mystical of ways. It gives me the clarity that I am not alone and never will be as long as I hold His Word snuggled close to my heart. There is a purpose to all of this and quite ironically, it is finding joy in my suffering.

I am humbled when I think of all of the women out there struggling, fighting, winning or losing, defeating or claiming victory, they’re out there, just moving on! 

Only through my suffering can I convey a message of hope. Only through this journey of my choice can I find the patience needed to get me through just one more day of living, writing, telling my story. Some days I cry out to God and say, “Please no more. I just can’t!” He lets me know quite frankly that, “YES YOU CAN!” When He puts it like that, I tend to sit up and listen to Him. He wants me to write. He’s given me a talent and if gone unused then I have wasted my life and His time but trust me, none of us are a waste of His time. 

James 1:22 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

I’ve put a hold on scanning mounds of websites that hold information on this Natural Path I’m walking down. I found part of my struggle with this illness was due to too much information, then contradictory information that shrouded me in uncertainty. It then went on to cloud my judgment with a dose of paranoia. That had to stop. 

While I want to reach out and help all of the people I can, I need more time for healing myself right now. My research is now leading me to discover if my supplementation, my arsenal, has run its course and do I need to bring about a change in course. It’s a slow learning curve but heck, I have time to jump back in and research to save myself.

There are certain vitamins/herbs in my regimen that won’t be changed and mainly Vitamin C, D3, magnesium, selenium, quercetin, curcumin, turmeric, and of course my B12’s. I may add some vitamins A., B17, E, and K but research is still ongoing for those. I love learning but I love healing even more and with every passing day, my patience is tried and tested but I just keep moving on, day after day.

With these few passing weeks of a setback, I realized that it is not much unlike a derailed train, it takes time to get back on track, and no swift kick in the butt or change of cars is going to make it a speedy transition. Time, patience, humility, and determination will see that the train gets back on track.

While we live in a NEW generation of toxic exposure, some may feel that glyphosate, Round-up, GMO’s are not going to have an impact on their lives. My how wrong they are in that assumption. If your children or grandchildren were born in the seventies and eighties, I can guarantee 100% those toxic exposures are impacting their lives, their children’s lives, and YOUR life. We live in a generation now where we have a great percentage of our population addicted to drugs. The pharmaceutical industry has impacted your life! Drugs are toxic, plain and simple. Autism, ADHD, MS, autoimmune disorders are all at an all-time high. All of these diseases are impacts of the toxic generation.

Taken from the site Autoimmune causes: 
BOTTOM LINE:
Researchers don’t know exactly what causes autoimmune diseases. Diet, infections, and exposure to chemicals might be involved. 

Read that and listen loud and clear, the 21st century and we STILL don’t know the causes but they expect us to be led like cows to slaughter and just accept what it is, a way of life. *I* will not accept my disease as a way of life! That is what’s happened over the years, people have had their heads buried in the sand, or now their iPhones and no longer look up to see the reality of death that is consuming the world and their very own families.

I AM NOT ALONE! YOU are not alone! There are thousands of people like myself who have lifted their eyes and see the world for what it is, a toxic wasteland, just as it is in the movie Wall-E. I can’t just turn a blind eye to the brunt of the truth before me. My grandchildren, my nieces and nephews and their children are all going to be living in this wasteland and we’ve done nothing to stop the invasion of garbage except just leave everyone alone, mind your own business and just live! Accept it as 'it is what it is'.

The way I see it [life], we all got a raw deal! It’s what we do with that raw deal, like change it into a banquet of blessings for the future generations or stick your head back in the sand. Life will go on for generations to come. Some will get to see the New Earth some will be too busy trying to get their heads out of the sand. 

Isa. 66:22 “For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the LORD, so shall your seed and your name remain.”

Rev. 21:1 “And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.”

This mornings dawning of a new day! 

GOD BLESS ONE AND ALL!

The Stress Factor

John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

The Stress Factor

When I began this journey, it all began with fear. The doctors used the fear strategy and failed, the ominous lump visually elicited fear, negative feedback from friends pushed the fear button, abandonment from what I thought were close friends, and the no-care family wasn’t a bonus to winning this disease, stress was at an all-time high.

As God works in His mysterious ways, He has filled me with all that was lacking and placed me on a path where I would find stress to be less intimidating. He placed dear friends to surround and support me; they are pivotal to this phase of healing and are all a part of God working!

If you read my posts over the past year and all the phases I’ve been through, you’ll know it has been a roller-coaster ride of a lifetime. This last week the stress factor was kicked up a notch as I felt alone, isolated and sad. As I said, my pain had returned and I needed to find the culprit. As you know, I don’t believe in coincidence, so when the email came with a link that pointed me in the WHEAT direction, I stood up and took notice! Along with the wheat factor, my stress levels had risen.

As this disease will knock many people out, it has made me move forward in a positive light. I don’t like a pity party or whining sessions, nor do I look for a person to point me in the right direction, I lean on God and not my own understanding. It is no coincidence that my emails are targeting just what has been ailing me. Keep in mind I get a lot of emails from vaccinations, the Big C factor, and many other illnesses but this last week they focused on WHEAT, stress and the auto-immune system. Just last week, a total stranger to my comment section stumbled in and in my eyes was a basic confirmation that I am heading in the right direction. Some may see her comment as a spy-bot because she left a link but I saw her words as God telling me the path I’m on is RIGHT!

I’d like to add that with one day of no wheat, now almost a week, I FEEL the difference in my body. I’m also watching a new module series on “Autoimmune Secrets” and am enjoying the different levels that diet plays in over 80 auto-immune disorders, from Hashimotos, Lyme disease, arthritis, MS and a host of others. I knew from the beginning that it wasn’t ‘just’ cancer invading my body, my immune system had a battle raging in there with other illnesses as well.

My apologies for not giving you the link to sign up for the ‘Autoimmune Secrets’ module series but I didn’t think I would be able to watch it myself but ‘something’ told me I needed to see and hear what was being said strictly about the immune system. I’m on episode five now! Keep in mind that the word cancer is just a label of fear of many underlying autoimmune conditions invading every single person’s bodies right at this moment.

The toxins we added to food and water triggered the autoimmune epidemic we set in place in the nineties (glyphosate, Round Up, fluorides etc.)  and what we thought was nutrition went into our bodies like meats, dairy, starches, bread, processed sugars, etc. hence the rise in autoimmune disorders and the advent of an overweight uncaring society. When you say that your body NEEDS meat, what your body is saying to you is that you are nutrient deficient. Your gut health is 80% of your immune system and a failing gut are just fingers stretching out the deficiencies in your body calling out to you to save your own self.

Every day I wake, I’m granted the opportunity to educate myself and learn. We are all given this opportunity but too few actually care enough to do anything about their health. I’ve learned also that Adverse Childhood Events – emotional trauma are root causes of autoimmune disease. Physical, emotional, developmental abuse and neglect, substance abuse, sexual abuse are all stress induced corridors to look into if you are fighting an autoimmune illness. 

Working to heal the emotions, the stresses, healing your gut, are all going to benefit you as you stoically walk the path of healing. Hiding and masking pivotal emotions are only inflaming your inner organs and don’t worry, you’ll be a medically sick drug addict in no time.

Me, when I’m confronted with this adverse reaction to information, negative, controversial, or conflicting, I need to write it out, get it down and tackle the incoming flow so I can be rid of the effects on my immune system. Our bodies are the greatest pharmacists in the world. God made our bodies with every capability of healing and when an illness arises, that is the transforming phase toward healing. If you do nothing or just do one thing like eat a salad a week, you are not healing, you’re pacifying.

When your body craves food, your stomach growls loudly and demands to be fed and more times than not we are feeding our nutrient-rich bodies a toxic stealer of health just to satisfy the craving only making our immune system kick into high gear to ward off the toxic element it doesn’t recognize. Instead of iron, you give your body meat that has been drenched, bathed and processed in toxins. You say the meats taste good but your gut is reacting to the foreign substance and you get sick. Our bodies need fiber and fiber is never found in meat. Our bodies need glucose, but we feed it processed sugar instead. The list is endless to all we’re doing wrong with our bodies and yet again no one cares.

I once again am finding what works for me. The gluten was a big eye-opener. I hear people laugh and joke about not having gluten problems before and now all of a sudden we have a gluten intolerant nation. Just thirty years ago we didn’t have glyphosate and round up and GMO treated foods. The organic industry is on the rise BECAUSE of the toxic world that people in denial are not seeing. Can you see the rise in Dementia, Alzheimer’s, MS, Parkinson’s diseases as well as a broad spectrum of cancers? Can you see a rise in violence? And what, you think it’s just bad genetics? Now it is my turn to laugh at you. Genetics is only about 3 percent of the reason for the rise; nutrition and the stress factor are the other portions of reasons. 

We’ve damaged our organs, our built-in defense mechanism the immune system, we’ve damaged our brains and all we can do is laugh and continue on this toxic-filled path and point fingers at everyone else? Pop a pill and all is right with the world? Imagine a fork in the road; change your diet and heal or go down the medicinal dependent lifestyle you’ve come to know and love. Which do you choose? I choose health and healing over death.

My health-filled cleanse is in full swing, my healing is upon me; my stress factor roadblocks are learning tools as I make my way around them. I soar down the highway to mending at a comfortable coasting speed. I’m reducing toxins, releasing stress, and minimizing the influx of negativity; a win/win on my spirit-filled health-full journey. Just as the weather is in a season of change, so are my mind, body, and soul!

All praise and Glory to God! 

Prov. 12:18 “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.”

The Holidays Approach

Job 22:21 “Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace: thereby good shall come unto thee.”

The Holidays Approach

I can hear the kitchen utensils clanging, I can envision the family get-togethers, I can almost inhale the food cooking in the ovens across America as we hurriedly prepare the holiday feast for the family. Yes, many prepare a week in advance!

As much as we’re a nation addicted to Big Pharma drugs we’re also an overweight nation addicted to food. As the holiday nears, this is the season where people overeat without guilt. They stuff their faces in the name of ‘it was there’ and as Christmas strolls around the twenty added pounds are already seen in the tighter belt and jeans. The guilt won’t be felt until January first when people make a haphazardly New Year resolution to lose all that was gained setting themselves up for a letdown when they fail.

I am one week away from my eleven-month mark. It’s the time of the month I mark another successful notch in my belt and sticking to my protocol that changed the shape, literally, of my future. The holidays will be more challenging than all eleven months together have been. It will be where his mom pushes ham balls and fudge brownies in his face for his upcoming birthday, and where the family gets together to celebrate the Christmas day meal. 

Since they put a halt to exchanging gifts, that is all Christmas day is anymore, a day of food and family gathering. It’s not like we haven’t spent MANY occasions with the family this year (funeral, wedding, visits) So, the only reason I see celebrating Christmas this year is that I’m alive! And I am ever so grateful for having been allowed these eleven months to change me! I have a lifetime of gratitude, to confine my gratefulness to thirty-days seems menial to me after finding I have a disease that would’ve shattered many.

Please don’t rag on me how December 25th is Jesus’ birthday and a just cause to celebrate the day. Christmas is a pagan holiday set in stone by man. Factually, Jesus’ birthday has been somewhat proven that it didn’t take place in December and hence the reason I don’t celebrate Christmas as Jesus’ birthday. It’s a day not much unlike Thanksgiving, a day of family, food, and gratitude. To each his own. 

While I see my husband trying to change also with his toxic soda consumption, and him wanting to take his own vitamin supplements, we as a family here are embracing change; that is until the family get-together. My hubby will be weak against the wiles of his family as they intimidate him with delicious food. I can’t expect him to be as strong as I am and seriously, I don’t think there are many people who could hold out on sugar consumption (among other things) for eleven months. I’ve been quite impressed with my willpower this year. Where was I hiding all of these years?

I will need all of my armor to face these next thirty-five days and beyond. Instead of stressing over the visit with family, I’m preparing what meal I will take with me on Christmas day like a mega salad with all the fixins and I’m sure the hosts will understand that I had to bring my own dish if they want us there. I’m also preparing what I’ll make for the carnivores of my family and for me on Thanksgiving! I’ll have a rainbow of vegetables and they’ll have meat and potatoes, easy peasy.

I might even try to attempt a modified pumpkin pie with coconut milk and stevia. My only cheat of the year just might be the flour crust. I won’t have the added cool-whip but there is no reason the guys can’t, that’s if they even attempt to eat a modified pie.

Another challenge I’ll face is having a stress free holiday. I sometimes let the smallest of things bother me but this year I am selfishly focusing on ME and my continued healing, in this scenario there is no room for stress. As the month unfolds there seems to be a lot of stress-less events taking place already; it’s as if God knows me so well he’s already set in place the good things that need to happen to keep me stress-free. I’ll elaborate at a later date but for now…I’m off to have me a screen less stress-free day! 

God bless one and all! 

Pss. 4:8 “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.”

Paranoia Won't Win

Pss. 3:8 “Salvation belongeth unto the LORD: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah”

Paranoia Won’t Win

The holiday season is slowly creeping up on us. While Sunday the fifth was a family event for me, it was basically a prelude to what I can expect at the family get together for Christmas this year.

I think I can say without a doubt that this year has been a year filled with paranoia where toxins, food, and family are concerned. Oddly enough (or maybe not) my faith hasn’t been shaken as I fight for my life out here in the real world. I am more concerned with the food that’s being served at get-togethers and being around his family who might have questions, but paranoia didn’t win in the end. I shrugged off the anxiety and faced the people and event head-on.

When we walked in the door on Sunday, the aroma began its assault on me but didn’t break me. Society breaks me more than the family gathering ever can. Empty plates spread out on the tables and the attendees just finishing up, now in the chatting mode as laughter could be heard throughout. When we walked further into the house, his aunt asked me if I wanted something to eat and I kindly said, no thank you, we had already eaten. My hubby wasn’t hungry either as he ate a nice big cinnamon bun before we left our house. He’s been trying so hard to cut back on soda, sugar, and sweets that he turned down the brownies that his mother offered him until she placed them right in front of his face and kept asking over and over if he wanted any until he buckled. The man cannot refuse his mother. No means no goes right out the window.

The only one that opened the discussion on my health was his cherubic aunt. She is eighty years old but looking at her wrinkleless face, you’d never know her age. I’m telling you, my face has more wrinkles and age than her beautiful smooth face. She has the face that I’d imagine that of an angel having, it also helps that she reminds me of one of my grade school nuns. She drives down to Nebraska from Sioux Falls South Dakota to see her family a couple times a year!

She wasn’t intrusive, she was compassionate and I have no problem at all telling her how my protocol is going and all that I’m doing to keep myself alive. She is very supportive and agrees with everything I’ve done so far and will continue to do. She told me she prays for me every night and adds me to her church prayer list weekly. 

I realized something this weekend. I have an iron will! After being bombarded with what I should and shouldn’t eat for nine months, gently nudged with every beat cancer newsletter out there, with aromas abounding from every direction, I’m being, to me, brutally attacked by the toxic invasion.

Speaking of toxic invasion, I use my writing as a safe haven. My blog is my corner of the world that no one can bully me into submission. I write what I want and when I want, typos and grammar shreds to pieces in my hands and I don’t give a flying fig! If people worried as much about their health as they do my grammar incapability, I imagine they’d be pictures of health. I’m out here fighting for my life and you’re worried about a run-on sentence, a missing comma, and lousy punctuation? Honestly, I think you need more help than me. Just saying.

I write my blog as a journal. I share my blog so people can see what I’m going through and maybe in some small way help just one person to change their life. I’m not writing to be published, I’m writing for ME, to share with YOU, and hoping along the way, you see a glorious God working in me. That’s it, that is all I’m doing.

I think I may just need a break, from writing, from sharing, and basically from the world. God has given me the strength to get through this year; He has helped me decipher the positive from the negative. He’s given me loving caring friends who walk this walk with me and had it not been for them, I don’t feel I could muster the strength to get through all of the paranoia that invades my comfy zone.

I have changed so much this year, inside and out. I’ve allowed paranoia to try and take hold of me like the toxic everything that surrounds me. I am gently moving into what is good for Joni phase as I weed out the ‘I don’t need that phase’ and what OTHERS want for me. This journey is about ME. If your doctor wants to load you up on drugs and you take it all in like candy, good for you. Me, I am adamant about not accepting drugs as a normal way of living. I’m on a journey of health. If that offends you or makes you cringe, I’ll pray for you, it’s all I can do at this time.

I told my niece this weekend, “I feel great! I feel alive!” She asked me what I was drinking. I said I’m high on life! For four years I could barely walk, I was, many days, walking with a cane, unbalanced and depressed that my life was descending into a bottomless pit. God pulled me out of that pit with CANCER! While some see that diagnosis as a death sentence, I see it as a life sentence. I will have this illness for the rest of my life, but I am embracing the change of seasons not being swept out by fear and paranoia. God has granted me the STRENGTH to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, CHANGE the things I CAN, and the WISDOM to know the DIFFERENCE! (and no, I never went to A.A.) 

As God has abundantly blessed me on this journey may He bless you also on your journey. 

Pss. 24:5 “He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

Ever Changing

Heb. 13:8 “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”

Nothing Stays the Same

As time passes by we see change whether it be in our physical or spiritual growth, our hair, our lifestyle, or our habits, nothing stays the same, it all advances over time. One thing I can assure you is that God does not change, He stays the same for you and me, I believe so we don’t get lost in confusion like every wind of doctrine that flows down the pike or every headline that grabs our attention.

Even the machine that runs our body like our organs, immune system, and DNA has remained the same since the very first man walked the earth. Sure they change with the abusive or neglectful treatment we give them. The more we try to destroy our organs the harder they fight to live for us. I wonder why when someone kills themselves we call it a suicide but when people slowly kill themselves over the years, we call it bad life choices? Is there a difference? Sure, shock value. That has to be it.

There was a day when the word cancer never graced the lips of even the elite doctors. It really didn’t become a problem until the advent of technology. The Industrial Revolution took its toll on our health and well-being with car emissions, processed food, and so much more. We embraced this new age of speed like a kid to candy, we took harmful pathogens at face value never caring if they were damaging parts of our bodies that might not ever be able to recover.

In countries where food is scarce, the Big C is minimal. Why, because those people have to eat off of the land. Here in the Western Civilization, we’ve been given toxins in abundance. It’s as if our government is TRYING to slowly kill us and from the zombie's I see walking around, Americans are all okay with being the cows led to slaughter. And we wonder why people just snap, eh?

Kristi Funk, a breast surgeon to Joanna Kerns, is noted on record as saying this about BC, “It (BC) is under our control and has to do with lifestyle choices, which we can absolutely control,” she says. “If all women would control these things to her best ability, we could absolutely eradicate 50 to 90 percent of all breast cancer.”

If you read from the link, you’ll see that I didn’t pull this dietary change out of my hat and I’m crazy insane (okay, that’s a given) but seriously this is REAL. I’ve done an immense amount of research, and have come up with the best method of saving myself, with the hand of God of course. Maybe it is time for people to wake up and see their surroundings and understand what is REALLY killing them. If you have ills and pains the cause 99.9% of the time is all found in your dietary habits. I know some people are stronger than others in curtailing the abusive behavior to their body but it is not too late to change.

We live in a fast-paced, hurry up, me-first world. We wander from one fast food restaurant to the next looking for the better tasting-deal to feed our faces. We sometimes buy a salad because we’re trying to falsely tell our minds and bodies that we’re eating well. We go to higher-end restaurants because we think they will sell better-for-us food when in a nutshell, they are feeding you contaminated toxic beef/chicken/turkey/fish all GMO modified at some point and your veggies were all treated with round-up. Just short of adding round-up as a condiment with the salt-n-pepper shakers, that you’d NEVER use, but the glyphosate toxin is okay if it is hidden in your food. There’s something wrong with that.

You may reason with yourself that glyphosate is only toxic when taken in at high amounts, you’d probably more than likely be right. Allow me to say, the crops of this western world have been chemically treated FOR YEARS, so yeah, taken in small doses there is no rise in you becoming a cancer statistic, but eaten daily over say ten-fifty years? You’ll SEE why there is a rise in cancer/illness rates. You don't just easily excrete the toxins, like an oil spill in the Pacific, there is always damage left behind.

Funny (not really) how the news media is quick to report (falsely or otherwise) of someone’s death but report about ways to prevent or CURE an illness? Yeah, healthy speak is taboo in this demented nation.

We’re supposed to follow along like kids being led by a rope to all stay together. We’re being herded into a corral of overweight, slowly withering human beings. We’re addicted to food and we ‘try’ our best to overcome our food addiction. As we feed our faces, dripping with gravy, washing our meal down with a KNOWN toxic ‘diet’ cola, we don’t feel good about our choices but we do nothing to change. or stop the poison from entering your mouth. 

Change is for the warriors, change is for leaders, and change is for other people. You know, even God changed His mind. Do you remember the story in Genesis about the tree of good and evil? Adam and Eve were told to NOT eat of the tree or surely they would die!

Gen. 3:3-4 “But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:”

Gen. 1:29 “And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”

She ate of the tree; while they didn’t physically die, on the day that Eve devoured the forbidden food, a part of our souls perished that we fight like warriors to regain. That is all I’m courageously doing in this healing phase of my life, regaining what was lost.

The most I’ve learned since this illness is that God wants us, yes US, to be disciplined. To learn discipline we must endure pain. We must become warriors of not only the physical world but also the spiritual world, which in the end basically, is where we wind up.

My challenge for you today is this - Don’t just vocalize the words of the bible actually LIVE the Word! Become disciplined. Change your world, become the warrior God created you to be.

Job 36:10 “He openeth also their ear to discipline, and commandeth that they return from iniquity.”

To Your Health

Psalm 27:7  9-10 (NIV)

“Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. ... Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.”

To Your Health

Nobody wants to hear about health; they want to hear about God, they want to hear the day's news, they wade through recipes, they saunter through the food stores, basically going through their day. They go on ignoring their health issues until it bites them in the butt and they HAVE to face what ails them and is making them sick.

I remember as a child being taught about the food pyramid but was it my duty as a child to uphold the nutrition that went into my body? While I believe it was my mother and father's job it became my job after I grew up. While my father worked hard to put food on the plate, my mother scraped by bringing us the meals we’d eat and more times than not beef and potatoes is what was for dinner. 

I grew up and took charge of what went in my body which meant no more beef and potatoes for sure. But I still chose unhealthy processed foods, takeout, you name it, I was the queen of unhealthy habits. Now look at me, this disease wants to own me and I’m shoving back and going to kill IT before it kills me! 

Isn’t that the way it usually happens, you’re young and carefree living high and mighty when BAM, your heart literally pains you and you go to the hospital? Or your head, back knees, teeth, hurt so bad you NEED to seek out medical attention.

Why is it we only care about our health after we’ve failed taking care of it for thirty, forty, fifty years? Our bodies are sending out signals while we’re young and living a careless lifestyle, we just don’t hear or because we don’t have insurance to cover our medical expenses, we put our health issues on the back burner, literally putting blinders on so we don't see the illness while it is destroying our inside. We’ll take care of it when the need arises but right here and now…careless living is what we’re about.

If you have a headache, the first thing you do is reach for a pill. A headache is your system telling you something just isn’t right. Insomnia, that is another hindrance of your body telling you something is just off kilter. A fever, pains, whatever the problem, these are mechanisms that your body is screaming out to you to open your eyes and LOOK at the problem, don’t pacify the ill. But no, we’re addicted to pacifiers; we don’t want a cure we just want the pain to go away and the pills will make it go away.

And we wonder how we became a world addicted to opiates and drugs? Do you wonder how this western culture enabled us to become the most overweight species around the globe? When looking at other countries as a whole, is the first thing you see is an overweight society? Not yet, until parts of America like McDonald’s and Burger King enter their everyday eating, then you’ll see them balloon!

I hate to badger my country but you're okay with the ‘powers that be’ leading you to your death? Toxically vaccinating infants, pushing pills like opiates, Oxycontin, barbiturates to be the remedy to what ails sick people? Filling humans with over processed food, genetically modified fruits, vegetables, and meat? Allowing chemicals like glyphosate to be readily ingested in a majority of what you put into your mouth. You’re okay with a sick and unhealthy nation?

I was never okay with the way we’re being used as lab rats. I also never thought there was anything I could do about the dilemma facing an entire country. Well, I CAN do something, one person at a time! It might be a small start but if fifty people read my blog and actually start to think about their health and nutrition, I made a dent. If they actually take action to better their health, I’ve made a bigger dent. You see, the ocean has beautiful waves lapping the shore, each little or big wave makes a difference in the shoreline!

We might feel inadequate like we are too small to make a difference but honestly, we need to wake up and look in the mirror and begin to make that change we want to see in the world, one small step at a time.

It all begins with your health! If you’re not sick, think about changing your unhealthy diet now. If you are having ailments, wake up and change what goes into your mouth! If you’re just happy the way you are (are you really happy?) do nothing and live. Me, I want to make a difference in the world, one word at a time. Here's to your health! 

Godspeed…

The Earth

Gen. 1:10 “And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.”

The Earth 

Agriculture and its destruction. 

We live in a toxic world. The earth itself has cancer as you look around and see things wilting over, they are not playing dead, they ARE dead. Trees are succumbing, sea life is dying, the air is stagnated and that doesn’t leave the earth much to live on to flourish. I live in a state that thrives on everything farming. Agriculture is their specialty and with the link above about the agriculture basically helping to kill off the land and slowly the people, as you can imagine posting any such thing as that link is met with angry faces.

I have lived here in Nebraska for eight years now and have always enjoyed watching the crop dusters fly overhead after spraying a field. I never gave a second thought to the toxins they were putting on the field and the air that I breathed in daily as the surrounding farms all placed pesticides and other chemicals on the farmland to make their crops successful. And to think all of those chemicals are running right into the water I drink. (or used to drink)

I saw the beauty in everything until this year when met with a deadly diagnosis that opened my eyes to every single thing surrounding me from water, food, and of course the toxic land. The first year here I adored the amount of Crane that blackened the skies to come here as the stopover before they further migrated. The numbers were staggering in the beginning but with each passing year, they’ve dwindled by an impressive number. 

Granted I still seek out the beauty in everything, I now see the farmers out to make a buck at any cost. That is what the world has come to, everyone out to make the almighty dollar never thinking of the repercussions as their blindness grows and the world becomes darker and darker.

I have families here that think GMO’s are not harmful, that forty vaccinations for a small child are not the reason we have an epidemic of autism, ADHD, and other disorders. The people who claim otherwise are all wacky as the government stands firmly behind a toxic world and gives false statistics to keep the farming industry happy.

I lived thirty-seven years in a toxic city, a city that was industrialized. Factories where the breathing smoke stacks filled the air with toxins that were being released to unsuspecting humans. My dad worked at the Bethlehem Steel shipbuilding plant and later acquired mesothelioma from the toxins he breathed in for twenty years at a close range. Although in the beginning he was told no harm would come to him.

I then lived in Dallas, Texas for six years and that place wasn’t as industrialized as Baltimore, it was more commercialized. But this was my first taste of how agriculture worked as the ‘Cowboy’ ranchers raised cattle to slaughter for your eating. Living in the city, the food was already processed so I never really gave a care about where it came from.
Another thing I didn’t know is how the cows were injected with growth hormones and who knows what other stuff they were injected with. Steroids and other toxic ingredients come to mind. These toxins go into the living animal, then the animal gets slaughtered and the meat gets injected once more with chemicals to keep the food fresh on the shelves. The food is wrapped in plastic and more chemicals are surrounding the food to again, keep it fresh on the shelf. 

Here is a link, it is broad and not a specific link because there are political aficionados that will point out ‘That’s not a trusted site’, so I give you a broad range for your search of how millions and millions of dollars of food is wasted as we still have homeless people and a starving nation.

The disease cancer is just like the food industry when you think about it; millions of people are being led to slaughter via chemotherapy. Like cattle, we’re being herded into the gates of oncologists across the nation and any real cure that surfaces from homeopaths and naturopaths is thrown in the trash, or better yet, voices speaking out are killed.

To be fair, I will hand you a link from the blind. Please know, I am not of the gullible blind who read this ‘scientific’ meaning government approved, mumbo jumbo! But please, be fair and read the comments also!

In the above link, THIS is exactly the fear-mongering and disagreement I’m being met with.

Words from the link. “If you swallow snake venom, you'll be fine. But, if you get bit by a snake - you're dead. And, the fact that naturopaths can't understand the difference between these two means that they are not qualified to put a band aid on someone, let alone treat people for the disease.”

But being a governmental force is allowed to put toxic chemicals in my body? In the air? In the water? Approves of toxins in the food we eat? And *I’M* the one in the wrong? I’m also Christian, is the government going to allow me to worship my God? I shutter to think of the future we are headed into.

When people by the millions turn a blind eye to something ie: agriculture, medical practices, ingested toxins, etcetera, we all become sheep being led through the gates to slaughter in record numbers.

There ARE people out there fighting back and you can see it in the force of organic food being placed on the shelves. Someone, many someones, have seen the destruction caused by man and sees the opportunity to heal a nation. Instead of being angry farmers of all that has gone wrong in the toxic dollar, why not make it right to the human race just trying to survive?

Humans are a very gullible species. If it looks good to the eye we buy into what we’re being sold. If it is cheap we grab it for the price. If a doctor tells us we need a drug to stay alive, we believe everything he says, if the government tells you that genetically modified food is not harmful, you agree. Tell it to the billions who have succumbed to a deadly disease or the millions still fighting a deadly disease. Tell THEM that there is nothing wrong with the earth, the waters, its plants and animals, the human race. 

Some people actually woke up! Some are more aware and need to tell others of another route to go by. Some people need to tell you the TRUTH in a field of lies. Those people are not your government. The earth doesn’t lie! It’s speaking directly to you in the wind, the air, the rain, the oceans, fields, streams and forests’, if only you’d wake up and listen. 

Luke 15:14 “And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.”

Mind Over Matter

2 Corinthians 12:9  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Mind over Matter

When I quit drinking at twenty-one, people asked me how I did it, A.A? I said no, mind over matter. You know, that hokey stuff that no one believes in? Well, how about this, I get this ‘dire prognosis’ and am told I need chemicals and drugs to heal, and I say no thank you. Some might call it stupidity, I see it as an unwavering faith in my Father and my mind. I always use my mind to deal with matters. 

Ex. 33:11 “And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend…”

I don’t know about you, but when the Lord speaks to me, I listen. He very boldly told me, “I GOT THIS!” There were more whispers in my ear but you get my meaning, God spoke, I listened. My God doesn’t play tricks and tease me into believing Him. He doesn’t lead me down dead end paths. No, He shows me success, hope, love and I, like a good servant and ever the optimist, I follow Him. Calling an optimist/pessimist a realist is like saying you can have faith in God part of the time. That is not I. It’s God all the time; hope, promise, truth, light, and love every single minute of the day. 

With this diagnosis came an instant change. It didn’t take me weeks to give up the processed foods and toxins I was putting in my body, the change came with prayer, meditation and immediately the shift to healing the very next day after the diagnosis began. I wasn’t ‘trying’ to heal, I WAS, and AM being healed every second of every waking day!

I don’t believe we’re ever done learning here on this earth or beyond, ever. It’s a process where you either walk the path or you stay stagnant and just continue living every day, sinning and doing what you want in life. Free will is amazing like that!

Apparently, I have an amazing willpower to go from a toxic lifestyle to a changed woman overnight. Some people think God doesn’t work that quick but I’m a living testimony that says God DOES work that fast. He saw that I was and am willing to change, and when I prayed He gave me an honest reply. He didn’t say, “Go and the lump will be gone when you wake tomorrow.” The honest reply was in saying it would be the biggest challenge of my life! 

When He sees you actively changing and prayerfully asking Him for guidance, He enters the scene in a spiritual wisp of vapor and you breathe him in as if you would air passing by your nostrils. It’s often hard to call on him and allow him to rule your world, what with so much to do in life and so many materials to be had, and so little time to do what you need to get done. 

Me, I find spiritual time for God first and with him, it changes my worldview from a distance to in my face. Healing comes when He’s in my face. Daily by the minute, I breathe him in and let God be the oxygen in my lungs to heal my world. It is with Him that I have the strength and willpower to do what needs to be done.

I know that willpower can move mountains. If there is an obstacle I move it with mind over matter, God over man, herbs over drugs. I learned a very long time ago that the mind is a very powerful thing to waste. Mankind is dependent chemically and he has spiritually driven the mind, body, and soul into submission to the material world. The strong mind dwells in the spiritual realm and without exercise, like your body, it becomes a wasteland. Without the sustaining nutrients, it becomes a toxic wasteland.

A google search of the definition herbal medicine led me to ---> Herbal medicine: “also known as herbalism or botanical medicine, is a medical system based on the use of plants or plant extracts that may be eaten or applied to the skin. Since ancient times, herbal medicine has been used by many different cultures throughout the world to treat illness and to assist bodily functions.”

God is the great creator of herbs and if we ignore their medicinal usefulness for us, in a sense, we are ignoring a part of the Great Healer God that He has touched us all with and the ability to see and utilize his promise.

My hubby is trying to give up his unhealthy habits. He gave up Pepsi for about two weeks and said he couldn’t do it anymore. I said, “Not everybody has my kind of willpower. I don’t know where it comes from.”
He quickly exclaimed as a matter of fact, “From God maybe?” 
“Well, I didn’t think you’d admit it,” I said with a smile and a tear in my eye.

You see, when people say they don’t have the strength to do something, I boldly tell them, put your mind into it, believe, have faith, embrace God, and you’ll have all the strength and support you need.  

“… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

You Only Live Once

1 Chron. 29:13 “Now therefore, our God, we thank thee, and praise thy glorious name.”

You only live once!

I hear this too often from people justifying their unhealthy eating and drinking habits. “Well, you only live once, so I’m going to eat all I can whenever and whatever I want.” But when you get sick and on your deathbed, you don’t realize what you are putting your loved ones through. Was that toxic double burger, with melted cheddar, fried onions, lettuce and tomato worth putting your family through an emotional hell that they have to live with for the rest of their lives?

What’s so ironic is I was never overweight, never thought I had bad eating habits, but here I sit with an illness that many people wouldn’t have the strength or willpower to fight, nevertheless, have their families fight for them. I’ve never gone on a diet in my life, I never colored my hair, heck, I’ve never even been to the beauty parlor in my life. Mani/Pedi? What are those? (I know what they ARE but you get my meaning, I’ve never had the NEED for them.) FYI: I am a self-maintenance woman!

You see, I’ve always been conscientious of what I put into my body so I could live a nice long life for my family. That is why my battle with drugs/alcohol happened at the ripe age of twenty-one. Now here I am, with an illness that has FORCED me to rethink life, and my unhealthy eating habits. What did I eat that was so unhealthy? Pasta, bread, processed meats, canned food, a Pepsi a day, yeah one! And three cups of coffee. I was never a big sweets and dessert person, which I am so glad because this disease would’ve more than likely hit sooner! All foods that turned out to be the toxins eating me away.

Yup, this disease loves sugar and carbs and I’ve eliminated them too late. Or is it in time? We’ll have to see on that one. I have every bit of faith that God and I will nip this thing in the butt and in the meantime I just want to scream from the rooftops, or from this blogosphere, LIFE IS SHORTER THAN YOU THINK, PEOPLE!!!

As my doctor bills mount from what my insurance didn’t cover, I didn’t draw concern because I knew that God in all His Glory assured me that He had this covered, and sure enough, He does!!!! Miracles DO HAPPEN! Every day I wake and praise a Mighty God, trusting Him to carry me through another day and praising Him for waking me to pass through this day. I thank Him every morning I wake up and am grateful to Him for allowing me the opportunity to feel so dadgum good in a world drenched in sickness. I am empowered to be His voice in trying darkened times. 

I’m wondering if you’re all tired of me talking about my unwavering faith and trust in God? Tired of me talking about the toxic lives we live? I can’t help it, friends. The way I see it, some of my words (or links) might provide you with the change you NEED or were looking for but kept putting off because, “Hey, we only live once, I’m going to do what I want and eat what I want and die HAPPY!” Maybe you see me and what I’m going through with vitality and want a bit of what I have. I'll share, I have God, life, energy, and a most humble nature (and the best friends ever.)

Rest assured, I can guarantee if ‘you only live once’ is the way you feel about life, you will NOT die happy. You will be relinquished to a fetal position in some uncaring hospital, allowed to dry up, wither and die, ALONE! But if you have a family, they get to witness your brutal choice of this death scene.

Jam. 5:5 “Ye have lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your hearts, as in a day of slaughter.”

You see, you live for the pleasure of the day. You don’t think of tomorrow, or your children or grandchildren, you live for you and your happiness. You have the theory ingrained in your head that ‘you only live once’ and that scares me as I think of heaven and it not being as full as people ‘who only live once’ will never have the pleasure of seeing. I hold eternity in my pocket!

I think that’s what makes me different among men (and women), I don’t live for earthly pleasures, I live for one day getting the opportunity to kiss heavens gate and to be welcomed in with open arms.

I have plenty to keep me busy these days around the house to ready myself for spring, like Spring cleaning! Yes, I love this time of year, out with the old, in with the new! I am healing, I am well, and I am LIVING! Living for my God! 
May God reach out to each and every one of you and rain blessings upon you!

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

Fear Tactics Used

Beauty in the dark. Concordia, Kansas

1 Sam. 22:23 “Abide thou with me, fear not: for he that seeketh my life seeketh thy life: but with me thou shalt be in safeguard.”

Fear Tactics Used

From day one, January 25 was riddled in fear tactics. Now I'd like the doctors to know what it felt like rushing me from one test to the other in tears, telling me I have a dreaded disease but, ‘we’ll be with you all the way,’ is all they offered and I haven’t seen one of them since the 25th of January.

Couldn’t the doctor have sent me straight for the biopsy? Why did I need a mammogram, CT scan, blood test AND a biopsy to confirm my diagnosis, all in one day? I’ll tell you why, to elicit fear. The BC doctor used fear the very first day by forcing me into a whirlwind of tests in my confused weakened state. I was told I had a dreaded disease then shuffled around like meat in a slaughterhouse.

That was their tactic from the get-go and it became obvious with the onc. #1 visit. She was full of the words you need to instill fear. Onc. #2 was an intimidating, overbearing older man and he knew what he was doing too. Instill fear in this little lady and she’ll be eating out of the palms of our hands like the fragile bird that she is. When onc. #2 called onc. #1 autistic, I knew something was wrong with these people’s minds. Name calling, really?

What they weren’t counting on was this fragile looking flower being one of the strongest people they more than likely will ever meet! The people they meet are scared and rightly so, they have been told all of their life that this illness will kill and maim them, so we’re going to poison your system and it will make you all better. Oh no wait, they don’t use the word poison. They use words like life or death. This will cure you. You’ll live. 

I still can’t figure that one out how poison cures. How can poisoning your body heal you? When you ask about the poison, they colorize the version. Like going from black and white to rainbows. When you question the poison and the damage it causes, they stumble to search for the right words to hook you. There’ll be no damage, your body will heal and repair from the toxins. Did you know that one spill of the juice, that is marked with skull and crossbones, can kill the administering person of the toxins? This is what they want to put in your veins, people!

When you suggest alternate routes they are adamant that this is a life and death situation and you need this poison! Even though later in life after you’re ‘healed’ you’ll be hit with Alzheimer’s, bronchitis, emphysema, you name it, a host of illnesses await you after the chemo route. You have no immune system to fight at this point. 

You know, I haven’t cried since I saw onc. #2. There is a pattern to my days of crying. The BC doctor visit, the onc. #1 visit, and the onc. #2 visit. Hmm, interesting. Why did they instill so much fear that I left in tears and WANTING to die? Don’t worry folks, I rebounded with a good nights sleep each time and woke rejuvenated in the hands of the Lord WANTING to live.

When I tell the doctors that I want to do this or that, they shrug it off and say no, no, no, you need US! You need chemotherapy and that is the only thing you need to get through this. I’ve read, witnessed, saw too much to take their word for it so thus I began my research. 

And here I am, feeling the best I’ve ever felt, twelve pounds lighter (unintentional, mind you) from healthier eating! I’m putting my mind at peace, my body is responding and there is a healing going on, on so many levels. I want to go back in a year, two years, five years and say to the doctors, here I am, still! 

Healing my mind, body, and soul, one step at a time. Now many who know me, knows I haven’t spoken to anyone in my family (besides my mother), since 2015 when my dad passed away. Not because of animosity, it's just that’s the way we are, we go our own way, and we’re fine with it. Well this weekend was my sisters’ birthday and I called her, kind of shocked her but it was like we had been speaking all these years. We still love each other and that's all that matters. 

I feel like I need to let them know I love them, whether they care for me or not, I care for them. The next step will be calling my brother and asking to do a Skype chat with my mother. That will really excite her to SEE me! She is not tech savvy and the tablet my brother bought her to use just sits in a wasteland.

Tomorrow marks seven weeks since the diagnosis. I’m still on my no sugar diet, and my target each day is zero carbs, but the most I get in an entire day is maybe five. I’ve allowed to my healing diet free-range vegetarian fed chickens eggs, two to be exact, for breakfast. The first two weeks were JUST veggies, and now I allow fruit and only the alkaline fruit that I NEED to beat this worm that has taken up residence in my body.

I am up to about fourteen supplements a day. As some may worry that these supplements might be toxic to my system, please understand, your prescribed drugs are more toxic than any God-given vitamin and herb and yes, four doctors are aware of what I’m using. You know what the doc’s say about the supplements I’m using? That I won’t need them if I go the healing-by-chemo-poison-my-system route because chemo heals everything! What they don’t add is what chemo KILLS! There are zero deaths from turmeric, vit. C, vit. D and such.

The supplements I use are not the mass manufactured at WalMart brand, I seek out the purest of vitamins and supplements and if you’re buying a supplement to aid in your healing, if it is mass produced you can pretty much be sure they have the toxic –oxides, colors, dyes and preservatives that are of no help to your healing of whatever it is you’re taking supplements for. Read the labels!!!

I think what I’ve unintentionally done is put the shoe on the other foot, so to speak. When I tell the doc’s I’m going it alone, they are gripped with fear because they know no other healing than what they’ve been taught scientifically. They don’t know the power of the Lord, the powerful healing that goes along with prayer, they cannot comprehend giving your life up for what they deem a fantasy man.

I live every day to wake up, breathe in the air, feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face and walk the path of healing. Do you honestly think that is what doctors and scientists do? Most people just wake to face another daunting day, to work, eat and sleep. They miss all of the powerful elements of beauty, prayer, spiritual and physical healing in between. They basically live to die, I LIVE to LIVE! Alleluia Amen! 

2 Peter 1:5-8 KJV “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Moving Forward

Matt. 8:7 "And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him."

Moving Forward

Every day I think of posts to write and when I rise from a well rested eight-hour sleep, read my morning devotional, I begin to write, usually not what I had intended but something entirely different. I try to squeeze in what I intended to write and it usually works out pretty good for me and becomes an inspirational read for you. 

Today I intended to write of my new Healing Diet but when I woke the words Moving Forward kept playing and replaying so let's see how this mind works as we weave the two topics together. 

Today is the day we are forced to move our clocks forward in the wee hours of a Sunday morning. Yes, I say forced because if we don’t oblige we will be out of sync with the rest of the world. We can’t have that now, can we? This is another one of those instances where the government likes to be in CONTROL and the people are left submitting to another of their demands.

But it is also a day I move forward in my Healing Diet and continue to treat my body as this high and mighty temple that God built for me and I’m just here trying to maintain the spirit and the flesh that houses the body.

My birthday is coming in a little less than two weeks and my mother sent me money ‘to buy myself’ something. I never like to buy myself something because there is so much more that is needed but this year I BOUGHT myself something! 

We went to the mall the other day (yes me!) and I browsed and shopped! I dislike shopping on so many levels but this day was a me day. You know what the hardest part of going out into the world to shop is? Seeing all of the billboards with advertisements on liposuction, and others that blare of the new restaurant in the area. Do they want to suck off all the fat that you get from those unhealthy restaurants? 

Driving by the fast food restaurants is hard too as I think of all the bubbling grease coming to life waiting to toxify the unaware customers. I see Buffalo Wild Wings with what I’m almost 100% certain that those chickens are shot up with growth hormones and preservatives. I see the Burger Palaces, Donut shops all enticing people to come in, let us fatten you up so you can be one more day closer to death. 

Yeah, that’s what goes through my mind now. While I miss all of the unhealthy eating myself, I’m sad to think that I was so naïve and easily misled. Why would I think that restaurants, even the most well-intentioned Chinese Food restaurants, would think of my health and me? 

I really look hard to see one sign that says, WE SELL ALL ORGANIC! WE use the best and safest oils, free range meats, and non-toxic foods because WE care about YOU! That’s almost funny because there’d be no money in that, eh? 

As we the people move forward maybe one day there will be MANY restaurants that will go the healthy route over the dollar making industry. I can bet if there was such a franchise the people who could afford the food offered would keep that business alive. Why? Because we are all really seeking to be our healthiest we can be. 

As I move forward in healing, the very first thing I changed was my diet. No carbohydrates, no sugar, no dairy, no meat. Wow! Two weeks and four pounds lighter I had to add something to this all fruit and vegetable health change. I searched and researched, the common bond was change and healthy eating. 

There are many diets out there to fight and HEAL the BigC (I won’t name it, I won’t own it) like the Gerson Diet, The Budwig Plan, and ChrisBeatCancer, just to name a few. Please don't tell me that this one says this and the other says that, I KNOW, and thus the very reason I am working what works for ME! 

The Budwig Plan says: “Toxins are one of the main factors that contribute to various diseases, so controlling them is essential. A regular intake of fruits and vegetables helps you to actively detoxify your body, which is a fundamental part of our diet plan.”

While the Gerson Diet doesn’t allow what the Budwig diet allows and Chris’ diet doesn’t allow stuff either. Dr. Morse was another man I listened to and as you can imagine, as a newly diagnosed patient, this all can be overwhelming. There was one common thread that tied them all together, healthy eating. As I searched and researched, I had to come up with a plan that worked for me and MY body, including the supplements that will carry me through the healing process. 

I’ve decided to write a book titled Beating Cancer on a Budget! But here’s the catch, unlike all of the other places that are marketing their systems, Chris, TTAC, Budwig, Gerson, Dr. Morse. I plan on giving my book away for FREE! (they pay S&H) or in eBook format and I will only take donations if they wish to do so.

I don’t know how all of this is going to be pulled together but I have faith that God will take control and have me help the needy. I’m poor, I’m as poor as they get. I have a roof over my head, food on my plate (healthy food, I might add) and clothes on my back! The very least I can do is pay-it-forward! Then all of your donations will not only be to help me, it will be to help others who are less fortunate as we all move forward to heal one person at a time!

Quote from the movie Zootopia.  
Bunny Judy Hopps: “I thought this city would be a perfect place where everyone got along and anyone could be anything. Turns out, life's a little bit more complicated than a slogan on a bumper sticker. Real life is messy. We all have limitations. We all make mistakes. Which means, hey, glass half full, we all have a lot in common. And the more we try to understand one another, the more exceptional each of us will be. But we have to try. So no matter what kind of person you are, I implore you: Try. Try to make the world a better place. Look inside yourself and recognize that change starts with you.”

Try Everything! Listen to this song and think of ME! God Bless! 

I Follow HIM

Pss. 9:1 “I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.”

I Follow Him

First and foremost, I follow the Lord and I always listen even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I sometimes feel like I come off as a flighty dumb blond walking into a flaming fire because I stand with Christ and Christ alone. 

I remember the story of Peter when Jesus asked him to walk on water, did you know he did step out onto the water, at first, but doubt and fear won out and he sunk? Jesus asked Him, “Are ye of little faith?” Some people say they have faith but if Jesus Himself came and said walk on the water with me, I can bet MANY would sink!

Matt 14: 25-31 NIV- “Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I’d like to think my faith is so strong that I WOULD walk on water for Him. He’s asked me to trust Him with my cancer and all of the HEALING treatment that He Himself has chosen for me. I say, God, lead me on still waters. Wouldn’t you know it, the waters stirred, I DID NOT FEAR! I AM NOT and WILL NOT DOUBT Him. When people pile up against me, I stand my ground firmly with the Lord. Laugh, scoff, Jesus knows exactly what it was like to be condemned by the very people who claimed to follow Him. 

I have suffered and struggled all of my life. God entered into my pain and washed away the scars and allowed me to walk to Him, with Him and for Him! Anything I struggled with he carried for me and gave me the strength of an army, one small woman, felt like an army of angels had encompassed her on a daily basis just to get through a day, a month, a year.

God is not glorified in your pain and suffering, He is glorified in your healing and yes He’s used my pain, my suffering, my scar tissue to be seen as His Light shining through. If I show doubt in His ability to carry this disease, I will sink in the very water I KNOW I can tread.

Toxins. I was raised in a toxic family, shaped by toxic chemicals whether it was LSD, PCP or any other drug of choice at the time; also the environmental toxins that I breathed in daily. I suffered alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual abuse. I lied, cheated, stolen and all of my pain and shame is laid bare for the world to see. I have NOTHING to hide behind because it is for YOU to see how Glorious our God is in His grace and forgiveness! I did not have the advantage of growing up in a rose-colored-glasses kind of world.

We live in a toxic world. Man turns to a doctor because he trusts him and has faith in Him and when someone stands against that very person they put their faith in for drugs, and medication, they don’t see the drugs and medication as toxins, they see my walk without the pacifier I call the medical toxic community as my guide, a toxic decision. So are vitamins, herbs and minerals toxic to my body? I’ll take my chances on that one. 

I think some people think I’m making this decision of no chemo. on my own in my naïve stupid young girl fashion. Seriously? If that is what you think of me, then you are not my friend. If you read my blog to pick out grammatical errors, you are missing an entire portion of me, back away from me, please! I follow HIM and Him alone in my quest for healing.

I watched as my grandmother had a stroke, then came out of the hospital and changed nothing and lived on meds the rest of her days. I watched as my aunts and uncles battled cancer, changed not one bit of their unhealthy lifestyle, I watched as my dad after heart surgery and a good three months of recovery returned to his old ways and eventually died. I've lived as two of my children have died!

You see, I’m coming into this diagnosis with my eyes wide open! I’ve seen, I've watched, I’ve lived, and most of all I LEARNED! I come into this cell attacker with three things none of my family members EVER had. 1) Knowledge 2) Wisdom 3) An undying unwavering FAITH!

The very first thing I did with this diagnosis? DRASTICALLY changed my unhealthy eating habits! I cut out sugar and carbs, meat and dairy, which left me with nothing but fruits and vegetables. I researched, researched and researched chemo, vitamins, herbs, cures, toxins, success stories. I’ve already been a witness to too many unsuccessful stories of illnesses from heart disease, diabetes, arthritis and a host of other illnesses. The one thing they ALL had in common was medications and an unhealthy lifestyle. 

Many people are unwilling to make a drastic change in unhealthy living. They’d much rather depend on a doctor to pacify them with drugs and a false sense that they are gods and are going to make them well. Did you ever notice, doctors are not in the business to make you well? Once you’re on medication you will NEED them for the rest of your days. You will never be healed because you then become an addict, addicted to meds. 

Did you know that God placed natural herbs here for us? Did you know God built our bodies to heal and regenerate? After we’ve totally destroyed our immune system, we need to try HARDER to restore what was lost and not trust doctors to destroy MORE for us. I’m trusting God on this one. Right or wrong, my God is the carrier of ANY burden, sickness, or pain I bring to Him. He is the Almighty Healer, Doctor and cure-all! If it bothers you that I think this way, please, feel free to reexamine your absolute faith and trust in Jesus Christ. The world desperately needs to see Jesus alive and Christians are the only ones to bring him to the world for all to see. He didn’t come to be glorified in our illness, He came to be glorified in our HEALING! THAT, my friends, is the ROCK *I* stand on!

All praise and glory be to GOD! Alleluia AMEN! Godspeed…

James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

This is me and how I feel and LIVE!


The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, its more than I can stand
I melt in your peace, its overwhelming

*it's a link to the song