HOME! The Real Miracle

Ex. 28:17 "And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row."

Home, The Last Five Days of Rehab: The Stones

Monday came. Ray and I were awakened because she had dialysis that day. They woke her, dressed her, and had her ready for pick-up. On her ‘D’ days, she was grumpy and irritable, talking and cursing under her breath, swearing she was going to find a new home. I had the feeling since she had been there for three years, this was the best place she could find. I didn’t get all of the details on her that I would’ve liked but I knew enough to know, she was settled and she was staying. The nurses loved her and that was truly important in this place.

I woke because well, they’re pretty noisy in getting Ray dressed and ready and I want to grab someone to help me before they leave, so I was always awake at five a.m. This morning I would once again wait to receive my medications but I realize that this is the norm for this place, you get them when you get them. 

Today was the day that my voice was going to be heard, about my meds, about the disaster that happened Saturday and how this place is a pit from hell with incapacitated elderly people sprawled throughout. There were some who actually walked but honestly, the only one that I saw was Santa! But they already knew all of this and it’s really not telling them anything they don’t already know.

From around the curtain popped the one nurse from Sunday that I knew, Cathy and the aide Sondra. Cathy asked if I’d had my coffee yet today and when I said no she ran and got me one while Sondra cleaned up the previous trays from the day before. I told them that I’d be leaving this place by Friday if I could and they were like, “Awww, but you’ll be missed!” I told them that this place was becoming too traumatic a journey for me and a hindrance any healing. They both nodded and understood completely.

My physical therapy consisted of some leg lifts and exercises to prepare my leg to bend. For too many days my leg had stayed straight and felt like it would never bend again but I knew, in order to get out, I would work on bending my leg, one gentle step at a time. While physical and occupational therapy lasted a half hour tops, I worked out five times a day. My right arm was becoming stronger and stronger and helped immensely when I needed to push myself back on the bed.

Today was about Jacki and Erikka. Jacki was one of the administrators of the building as was Erikka. When Jacki came in she said she wanted to hear my side of the story about Saturday because she had heard everyone else's side. She also wanted to show me a stone. A precious purple stone, so shiny it lit the room. I looked at it and thought of Santa and his words of wisdom, ‘looking at the stone reminded me of looking at a million mountains’. This stone was chiseled from someplace special I could tell. She let me hold it and then she sat it in the sun in the window. “I can only loan this to you for the day but I want this to lift your spirits.” I had tears in my eyes as I said thank you. I always had the ladies laughing and she knew I was not in a good way this day, she knew I needed a lift and at this moment God used her to bring a beautiful stone to lift my spirit. Don’t judge me, I needed EVERYTHING I could get in that place to lift me up!

When Erikka walked in a little later carrying a bigger rock, a multi-colored stone that looked like it jumped right out of a scene of a Superman movie, I cried. Why is God bringing me these beautiful chiseled stones or is satan taunting me. I was so weak I could not tell so I prayed, for wisdom and knowledge that would lead me in the way I should go. The one main thing I received from these two visitors was the realization that I had allies in this place of doom, they were the ones who would see me out the front door! 

The nights of darkness enveloped me and sealed me in a cocoon. The voices, the shadows all played like a kaleidoscope in my head. I was hurting mentally and physically and all I had to cling to was my God in the most powerful way, alone and being tried. The stone sat in the window cove with my hospital treasures awaiting the sun so the brilliance of colors could shine through. The clouds and rain kept the stone from its glory.

We had a dilemma this week. For me to get home, I would need a ramp built so I could get into the house. Everything IN the house was already handicap ready. The other thing I needed was to get my leg bent! No matter how much I was fighting to get out of here, I could go nowhere if I couldn’t get into my car.

Erikka came into my room, sat on the side of the bed and whispered in her soft angelic voice, “Just say the word, and I can have you home today.” Erikka was a thin beautiful woman with sunrise orange hair pulled on top of her head. She glided in the room so as to look like she was floating. Sometimes her hair was flowing down her back over her modest vest of a matte color, eyes as blue as a cloudless sky.

Through tears I explained the dilemma, my leg needs to bend and we need a ramp built. I could taste home. Although I forgot what the back of the house looked like, how my flowers circled the house the last time I saw them, my Sassy dog was no longer there to greet me and Riley, the guys said, was playing hide and seek, she KNEW I wasn’t there. AND there was the fear of what home held for me. Joni was in need of a miracle!

After two weeks of discussion about a ramp being built and the cost, it seemed it just couldn't be done. Worry swept in like a Texas dust storm! They will not release me until they’re sure I have everything right at home. Steven had already taken on so much with taking care of me and running back and forth getting me stuff, he was now frazzled and ready for the hospital himself, just a different ward, if you know what I mean. Then in stepped his brother. Apparently, mom had contacted him, told him of our troubles, he contacted hubby and the only day he had off work to do the ramp was Wednesday, he could get the ramp done in a day! Now, all we needed was the weather to comply.

We had five days straight of cloudy, rainy, chilly weather after the day of me sitting in the sun seeing Santa. Forty-degrees and wind is pretty chilly, no, downright cold! I needed a miracle! Hubby was looking at the weather on his computer and he said that it looked like I’d get my miracle, a break in the weather for ONE DAY, Wednesday! It would be in the seventies! I thought, yeah, that will be a miracle.

Wednesday came, the SUN rose and peeked in my window, it reported loudly that today I’d get my miracle! I waited, I had coffee, I chatted with the nurses and assured them with great certainty that Friday I would be released! They hugged me, told me how much they’d miss me, we laughed and we cried, and we all commented on how I was the little miracle of St. John’s nursing home! 

By afternoon the day had topped out at eighty some degrees! The ramp was finished, paid for by his brother, and a pic was sent to my phone so I could show the Administrators of what this little miracle was capable of. They all agreed, Joni would be going home on Friday! Ray was mighty sad because ‘we’re fwends, right?’ I’ll never forget you, Ray! 

The one lady who saw to it that I got into this place kept telling me that my insurance had agreed to pay for another week if I needed. I laughed so hard I woke Ray up from her nap. “No thank you, I AM GOING HOME!”

On Thursday the cool temps and clouds returned, I readied for my Friday release! In the wee hours of Friday morning when I pushed the button for a nurse to bring me my meds, around the corner came Erikka, the beautiful angel who only worked day shift! She came in to do night shift JUST FOR ME! 

“Joni?” she whispered in her ever soft voice.

I sat straight up, I knew the voice. I tapped my dim light and saw her aura shining, “Erikka? Is that you,” tears came too easily when she said yes and sat next to me on the edge of my bed.

After giving me my meds, she went on in her whispering voice, “I brought you a healing stone,” she went on, “this stone was broken in half, in the morning light, you’ll see the crack and how it healed itself!”

Tears were now soaking my face and dripping down my chest. I grabbed for a kleenex, I was speechless. “You came for ME?” 

“Yes,” she said, “I prayed for you, for what to give you, I bring you the healing stone.” 

Our eyes met, mine blurred from tears and her blue eyes were brimming, with joy. She pressed the stone into my hand. “I might never see you again.” I squeaked out of my hoarse voice.

“Oh, I think you’ll see me again, you can fly!” With a tight hug and our farewells, she was gone.

Friday sunrise came and it was release day. I could’ve gotten out at nine a.m. but I chose to wait for Ray to come back from dialysis. The nurses were shocked to say the least, that someone so eager to get out, would stay, just for Ray. I stayed! Ray came back, peeked around the curtain and with her last, “Whacha doin’?” I said to her, “Waiting for you!” I gave her the last of my chips tied in a purple ribbon, her favorite color! 

The nurses came in, said their goodbyes and tears were shared by all. I made an impact on every single person I came in contact with during my ten-day stay. Hubby got the car ready, emptied my room of my contents, as I looked at the trays from the prior day and the full commode from that morning I whispered, “I won’t miss you!” 

I was wheeled to my car, passing nurses as I went, I waved with the biggest smile on my face to date… I was going HOME! 

Solar Eclipse from 8-21-17

1 Kgs.10:2 "And she came to Jerusalem with a very great train, with camels that bare spices, and very much gold, and precious stones: and when she was come to Solomon, she communed with him of all that was in her heart."

Josh. 4:8 And the children of Israel did so as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones out of the midst of Jordan, as the LORD spake unto Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, and carried them over with them unto the place where they lodged, and laid them down there.

1 Chron. 29:2 "Now I have prepared with all my might for the house of my God the gold for things to be made of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and the brass for things of brass, the iron for things of iron, and wood for things of wood; onyx stones, and stones to be set, glistering stones, and of divers colours, and all manner of precious stones, and marble stones in abundance."

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good life! 

Rehab, the Story Continues: Santa is There

John 8:12 “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

Three-and-a-half days! I made it. I made it to the weekend. But getting there was not without its many hurdles. This story is not all about ‘The Nursing Home’ ordeal, or the staff, this is about my journey, a fifty-two-year-old woman with stage four breast cancer, lymphedema of the left arm, radiation treatment to my bones and recovery of major surgery of my broken femur. Take for instance my Oral Chemo, it was running out, I did not have the wits about me to know how to reorder so I had to leave it up to my husband to take care of matters. The drugs I was on were pretty strong and keeping my mind busy and pretty much in a fog.

He called the Dr.s office, the nurse said she’d order it, no problem, he called back and Fay said it would be delivered Friday but needs a signature. Uh oh, hubby would have to miss work AGAIN, and miss seeing me all day to wait for meds! Not a happy gal but it’s okay, I’m tough and getting tougher by the day! Needless to say by three o’clock when the meds had not arrived hubby came to the hospital to visit me, even if it was only for two hours. He can’t drive at night, so we watched the sun (or lack thereof) very closely! A different story, the meds never arrived.

When Friday came I was happy to have made it to this day alive, although I had never wanted to give up more than I did this week. A loneliness had settled in, hubby knew it, and no amount of cuteness from Ray, or compassion from the staff could move me. It was a tough week on my spirit and soul. This was also the last day of radiation to my arm, and my son stepped up and said he could go to the CC with me. The weekend, I’d get a break, right? 

Then there was the day earlier in the week that they had to take my clothes to put name tags on them, even though we told them WE would wash them, they needed to be tagged. (I didn’t hand everything over but I stupidly gave them lounge pants, two flannels, brand new socks, and a pair of underwear. All were returned by Friday except my underwear and socks. When Kay, my occupational therapist heard this she set out on a search of my missing panties. She returned to my room waving them in her hand and said, “Hey, no wonder they wanted to keep them, they’re cute!” We both laughed but I through my tears. She hugged me!

Then there was Santa. Thursday had been a day of sunshine and warmth and I had even had a chance to open the window. Ray didn’t like the window opened because it gave her a chill. She was on the other side of the curtain between our beds and didn’t know it was open. The warmth, the sun, it was all I had to cling to. Yes, people, before you tell me to cling to God, please know, HE is the only thing that kept my breath in my lungs, He is first and foremost, but the sunshine and the warmth were for me on this day. 

Coming back from my radiation treatment that day found me in the sunshine. On the side of the entry to the hospital was a little area with a table and four chairs, lining a brick path were rocks, rocks of all shapes and sizes. Hubby and I followed the path, to the chairs and table and we sat in the sun, I in my wheelchair of course. We watched as nurses changed shift and a nurse had brought a resident outside to feel the warmth of the day. The table was back a little ways from the entry so hubby and I enjoyed the table and sunshine. I enjoyed the one monarch butterfly that landed on a rock not ten feet from me and my chair. Thank you, Jesus, I whispered out loud, as a tear trickled from my eye. 

Then he appeared, an older man hunched over his walker. He was taking tiny steps as he scooted to the path. An obvious Husker fan dressed from head to toe in his puffy red Husker slippers, his red husker lounge pants filled with the Husker team logo, all topped off with his white t-shirt with a big N for Nebraska, trimmed in red on sleeves and neck. His full white moustache and beard were reminiscent of Santa Claus. Steven softly sang… ‘here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane...’. I smiled.

Santa stopped at the rocks and just stood there looking down at them. One minute, five minutes passed and he moved, inching closer to where Steven and I were sitting. Again, Santa paused to stare at the rocks. He was within earshot of me now, I said, “Do you like the rocks as much as I do?” I myself was eyeing one shaped like a heart. Yeah, I draw to me these kinds of people. 

He looked up at me, then back to the rocks before he answered, “Yeah.” He began inching closer to me again, and stopped, mesmerized by the rocks. He began talking without looking up from the rocks, “They’re beautiful. Back in my shop, I take CLR to clean them. It brings out their beauty, then I polyurethane them. Yup.” He began to turn around and looked at the other side of the path lined with rocks.

As he slowly turned, he made his way right to the edge of the path. I thought he was turning to go back in the home but no, he paused to look at this side of the path, too, before heading inside. Staring at the rocks he whispered, 

“Y’know, it’s like looking at a million mountains,”  he went on, “Y’know how the rocks are made don’t ya? The rain,” he paused a moment, “the rain cuts them out of the mountains and they all wash downstream, getting cleaned up through the river until we gather them and see them for their beauty.”

By this time I had tears in my eyes and Steven and I were both looking at each other in wonderment. I knew there was a message in there for me but I couldn’t see it through my tears. Santa looked at me and smiled raised a finger to tap his nose and he proceeded to slowly walk back to the door, with one last quick pause to gaze at the rocks, he went inside.

I told Steven that it was now time for me to go back inside too, I got what I came for, a message. I picked up a rock, and we went inside the home, to my room. It didn’t seem so small anymore.

The moral of the story to me is: We are all refined by God made perfect in His image as we go through the trials and suffering of being washed downstream until we’re seen in our perfection before the Lord.

Isa. 48:10 “Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”