HOME! The Real Miracle

Ex. 28:17 "And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row."

Home, The Last Five Days of Rehab: The Stones

Monday came. Ray and I were awakened because she had dialysis that day. They woke her, dressed her, and had her ready for pick-up. On her ‘D’ days, she was grumpy and irritable, talking and cursing under her breath, swearing she was going to find a new home. I had the feeling since she had been there for three years, this was the best place she could find. I didn’t get all of the details on her that I would’ve liked but I knew enough to know, she was settled and she was staying. The nurses loved her and that was truly important in this place.

I woke because well, they’re pretty noisy in getting Ray dressed and ready and I want to grab someone to help me before they leave, so I was always awake at five a.m. This morning I would once again wait to receive my medications but I realize that this is the norm for this place, you get them when you get them. 

Today was the day that my voice was going to be heard, about my meds, about the disaster that happened Saturday and how this place is a pit from hell with incapacitated elderly people sprawled throughout. There were some who actually walked but honestly, the only one that I saw was Santa! But they already knew all of this and it’s really not telling them anything they don’t already know.

From around the curtain popped the one nurse from Sunday that I knew, Cathy and the aide Sondra. Cathy asked if I’d had my coffee yet today and when I said no she ran and got me one while Sondra cleaned up the previous trays from the day before. I told them that I’d be leaving this place by Friday if I could and they were like, “Awww, but you’ll be missed!” I told them that this place was becoming too traumatic a journey for me and a hindrance any healing. They both nodded and understood completely.

My physical therapy consisted of some leg lifts and exercises to prepare my leg to bend. For too many days my leg had stayed straight and felt like it would never bend again but I knew, in order to get out, I would work on bending my leg, one gentle step at a time. While physical and occupational therapy lasted a half hour tops, I worked out five times a day. My right arm was becoming stronger and stronger and helped immensely when I needed to push myself back on the bed.

Today was about Jacki and Erikka. Jacki was one of the administrators of the building as was Erikka. When Jacki came in she said she wanted to hear my side of the story about Saturday because she had heard everyone else's side. She also wanted to show me a stone. A precious purple stone, so shiny it lit the room. I looked at it and thought of Santa and his words of wisdom, ‘looking at the stone reminded me of looking at a million mountains’. This stone was chiseled from someplace special I could tell. She let me hold it and then she sat it in the sun in the window. “I can only loan this to you for the day but I want this to lift your spirits.” I had tears in my eyes as I said thank you. I always had the ladies laughing and she knew I was not in a good way this day, she knew I needed a lift and at this moment God used her to bring a beautiful stone to lift my spirit. Don’t judge me, I needed EVERYTHING I could get in that place to lift me up!

When Erikka walked in a little later carrying a bigger rock, a multi-colored stone that looked like it jumped right out of a scene of a Superman movie, I cried. Why is God bringing me these beautiful chiseled stones or is satan taunting me. I was so weak I could not tell so I prayed, for wisdom and knowledge that would lead me in the way I should go. The one main thing I received from these two visitors was the realization that I had allies in this place of doom, they were the ones who would see me out the front door! 

The nights of darkness enveloped me and sealed me in a cocoon. The voices, the shadows all played like a kaleidoscope in my head. I was hurting mentally and physically and all I had to cling to was my God in the most powerful way, alone and being tried. The stone sat in the window cove with my hospital treasures awaiting the sun so the brilliance of colors could shine through. The clouds and rain kept the stone from its glory.

We had a dilemma this week. For me to get home, I would need a ramp built so I could get into the house. Everything IN the house was already handicap ready. The other thing I needed was to get my leg bent! No matter how much I was fighting to get out of here, I could go nowhere if I couldn’t get into my car.

Erikka came into my room, sat on the side of the bed and whispered in her soft angelic voice, “Just say the word, and I can have you home today.” Erikka was a thin beautiful woman with sunrise orange hair pulled on top of her head. She glided in the room so as to look like she was floating. Sometimes her hair was flowing down her back over her modest vest of a matte color, eyes as blue as a cloudless sky.

Through tears I explained the dilemma, my leg needs to bend and we need a ramp built. I could taste home. Although I forgot what the back of the house looked like, how my flowers circled the house the last time I saw them, my Sassy dog was no longer there to greet me and Riley, the guys said, was playing hide and seek, she KNEW I wasn’t there. AND there was the fear of what home held for me. Joni was in need of a miracle!

After two weeks of discussion about a ramp being built and the cost, it seemed it just couldn't be done. Worry swept in like a Texas dust storm! They will not release me until they’re sure I have everything right at home. Steven had already taken on so much with taking care of me and running back and forth getting me stuff, he was now frazzled and ready for the hospital himself, just a different ward, if you know what I mean. Then in stepped his brother. Apparently, mom had contacted him, told him of our troubles, he contacted hubby and the only day he had off work to do the ramp was Wednesday, he could get the ramp done in a day! Now, all we needed was the weather to comply.

We had five days straight of cloudy, rainy, chilly weather after the day of me sitting in the sun seeing Santa. Forty-degrees and wind is pretty chilly, no, downright cold! I needed a miracle! Hubby was looking at the weather on his computer and he said that it looked like I’d get my miracle, a break in the weather for ONE DAY, Wednesday! It would be in the seventies! I thought, yeah, that will be a miracle.

Wednesday came, the SUN rose and peeked in my window, it reported loudly that today I’d get my miracle! I waited, I had coffee, I chatted with the nurses and assured them with great certainty that Friday I would be released! They hugged me, told me how much they’d miss me, we laughed and we cried, and we all commented on how I was the little miracle of St. John’s nursing home! 

By afternoon the day had topped out at eighty some degrees! The ramp was finished, paid for by his brother, and a pic was sent to my phone so I could show the Administrators of what this little miracle was capable of. They all agreed, Joni would be going home on Friday! Ray was mighty sad because ‘we’re fwends, right?’ I’ll never forget you, Ray! 

The one lady who saw to it that I got into this place kept telling me that my insurance had agreed to pay for another week if I needed. I laughed so hard I woke Ray up from her nap. “No thank you, I AM GOING HOME!”

On Thursday the cool temps and clouds returned, I readied for my Friday release! In the wee hours of Friday morning when I pushed the button for a nurse to bring me my meds, around the corner came Erikka, the beautiful angel who only worked day shift! She came in to do night shift JUST FOR ME! 

“Joni?” she whispered in her ever soft voice.

I sat straight up, I knew the voice. I tapped my dim light and saw her aura shining, “Erikka? Is that you,” tears came too easily when she said yes and sat next to me on the edge of my bed.

After giving me my meds, she went on in her whispering voice, “I brought you a healing stone,” she went on, “this stone was broken in half, in the morning light, you’ll see the crack and how it healed itself!”

Tears were now soaking my face and dripping down my chest. I grabbed for a kleenex, I was speechless. “You came for ME?” 

“Yes,” she said, “I prayed for you, for what to give you, I bring you the healing stone.” 

Our eyes met, mine blurred from tears and her blue eyes were brimming, with joy. She pressed the stone into my hand. “I might never see you again.” I squeaked out of my hoarse voice.

“Oh, I think you’ll see me again, you can fly!” With a tight hug and our farewells, she was gone.

Friday sunrise came and it was release day. I could’ve gotten out at nine a.m. but I chose to wait for Ray to come back from dialysis. The nurses were shocked to say the least, that someone so eager to get out, would stay, just for Ray. I stayed! Ray came back, peeked around the curtain and with her last, “Whacha doin’?” I said to her, “Waiting for you!” I gave her the last of my chips tied in a purple ribbon, her favorite color! 

The nurses came in, said their goodbyes and tears were shared by all. I made an impact on every single person I came in contact with during my ten-day stay. Hubby got the car ready, emptied my room of my contents, as I looked at the trays from the prior day and the full commode from that morning I whispered, “I won’t miss you!” 

I was wheeled to my car, passing nurses as I went, I waved with the biggest smile on my face to date… I was going HOME! 

Solar Eclipse from 8-21-17

1 Kgs.10:2 "And she came to Jerusalem with a very great train, with camels that bare spices, and very much gold, and precious stones: and when she was come to Solomon, she communed with him of all that was in her heart."

Josh. 4:8 And the children of Israel did so as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones out of the midst of Jordan, as the LORD spake unto Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, and carried them over with them unto the place where they lodged, and laid them down there.

1 Chron. 29:2 "Now I have prepared with all my might for the house of my God the gold for things to be made of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and the brass for things of brass, the iron for things of iron, and wood for things of wood; onyx stones, and stones to be set, glistering stones, and of divers colours, and all manner of precious stones, and marble stones in abundance."

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good life! 

Rehab Continues: Sunday Came

Matt. 14:14 “And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick.”

Rehab… Sunday Came

Sunday morning came with the flooding of lights as we woke up. Ray and I slept all through the night and I didn’t even wake for any pain meds. The night shift was leaving and the new shift was coming in and the girls stopped by before shift change to apologize for the bad night. It was NOT their fault! The administration should have been made aware of the short staff and other aides should have been in place. Today came, as did new nurses!

As the new charge nurse came with meds, I explained I needed some crackers, I hadn’t eaten. I went on to tell her about the prior evenings' atrocity and her sympathy poured out like water from a pitcher. She said, “I’ll be right back.” And she came right back too, with a styrofoam bowl full of packets of crackers. She even came back with a cup of coffee, something I had not been offered since I arrived.

She went on to remove the breakfast, dinner and lunch trays from the day before and then proceeded to give me my meds and read my vitals. She also moved the gait belt from in front of the TV so I could watch. She opened the curtains for me and commented on the chilled gloomy rainy day. I told her that to me, every day was a sunshiny day! 
She offered, “I’ll be here all day until six, (I assume a twelve-hour shift) if you need anything just ask for Jan, okay sweetie?” I melted, the good Lord sent someone. I prayed and prayed and He sent someone!

I turned the television on and began watching the morning sermon by Charles Stanley. I’ve always liked his sermons and was glad he was the first show I saw of the day. Cable TV did not impress me in the least. For the week I usually watched rehab shows, where they remodel homes. Ray liked Dancing with the Stars, a show I usually have a gag reflex to, but she turned it so loud I was forced to turn my TV off when it came on. Other than that she would watch game shows.

Then, anxiously, I clicked for a nurse, in minutes two nurses walk into the room. (if they’re tending me, I call them nurses, they earned that title to me) One was a young blonde named Sondra. I told her my son went to school with a Sondra. After small-talk, I found out she had been in the same high school as my son and actually rode the bus with him every day. The older woman, maybe about thirty-seven (older than the twenty-year-old) said she had worked in the cafeteria of his high-school. Now God has really got my attention! What are the odds?

After our dance to the commode and more gossip, I was feeling like my old joking self. I told them of the night before through tears, mind you. I had to put something funny in there or this day would be full of tears. We shared stories, the ladies laughed, I laughed, I had a feeling I would be peeing a lot that day.

My husband would arrive later in the day to hear of the story of the night before as he sits once again, through another bout of my tears. He brought me some BK onion rings to brighten my day, so I wasn’t feeling too bad if I could eat onion rings. He also brought me a box of a medley of chips. He knew I had nothing to snack on at the 5 am wake up, he thought this would help a little. He did try everything to see that I was made comfortable but he had no control over the tears I would unleash over the next couple of days.

Ray had heard the bags of chips as hubby placed them in my side-table drawer. Like a magnet she was drawn to the chips, she wheeled over and peeked around the curtain, with a bright smile as she did every day to greet me at some point in the day and asked, “Whacha doin’?” Ray loved chips! This was her vice. She hid them in her drawer and I would hear the quiet crinkling of the opening of a bag, then the soft munching so as if not to disturb me.

“Putting these chips away that my husband brought me. Do you like chips?”

“Yeth, I thure do.” Her lisp was now growing on me, her smile infectious, the light of joy that she exuded was admirable!

“Would you like a bag or two? What kind you like?” 

“I like them Fritoth, and cheethy oneths too.”

I held up a bag of green onion potato chips, bar-b-que chips, and Fritos. “You like these?”

“Oh yeah,” she said moving her chair as close as she could into my tiny little corner of her room. Her wheelchair could only reach the bottom of my bed. She reached out as I handed three bags of chips to her and her smile lit the room. I didn’t need sunshine on that rainy day.

The physical therapist had come by earlier that day and I told her of the not-so-lovely night before too. I just couldn’t resist. Everyone that came through the door heard my side of the story. The PT lady was the weekend PT because it seems even physical therapist get a break. She was originally from Farmer’s Branch Texas and we bonded over neither of us being from Nebraska. I told her I lived in Texas for six years, she squealed, “Get outta here!” I said, yeah Dallas, close to Farmers Branch. We had a nice visit, spunky chat, and a handshake as she parted. I’d never see her again since my new plan was to be out of the place by weeks end!

As for Ray? Every person that came in the room that day all she could mention was how nice her roommate was, she’d whisper, “She gave me CHIPS.” Emphasis on the chips! Ray was the best part of this nursing home by far! Now… to look forward to getting out of this place.

The Story Continues: A Ray of Light

Ezek. 37:1 “The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,”

A Ray of Light

Darkness had fallen upon the nursing home after my husband and son left, when from around the curtain to my left rolled in a woman. 

“Whatcha doin? My name ith Ray, I’m your roommate.”
“Hi Ray, nice to meet you.”
“What time do you go to thleep?” she said in her lispy voice.
“About nine.”
“Me too. Do you like it dark?”
“Yes, I don’t mind the dark,” I said with a smile.
“I like the curtainth clothed, do you?”

Ray was a bit older than me at sixty-three but had the mind of a child. I’ll say a fifteen-year-old because she did have some intelligence as I got to know her over the next ten days. She too was immobile and needed a mechanical lift to get her in and out of bed. She had bulging blue eyes and the electric smile of innocence. Her gray hair was manly, tight and straight but well kept. She told me over and over how she loved purple and everything purple as she pointed to her pajamas. She would be one of the elements of light that God shined down on me. 

The first night I was there my dinner came at seven-thirty. To me, it was almost time for bed but I was hungry. I had not eaten since lunchtime (twelve o’clock) that day. I think my first meal was Salisbury steak with a biscuit and mashed potatoes and a small glass of water. Water, water was scarce for the next couple of days.

I brought with me a big thirty-two-ounce cup of water from the hospital. The hospital gives them to patients and well since I was so toxic, it isn’t like the cup could be reused. I took little sips because I did not look forward to peeing in this place. I could not yet put the dinner tray over both of my legs, so it was at an awkward slant over my right leg. The trauma of anything touching my wounded leg scared me to bits. I didn’t cover it in a blanket because the slightest brush of anything left me with a tinge of pain. 

My medication was due at seven and had not yet arrived and at eight-thirty when Ray pushed the button for the nurse, I asked when I would be receiving my meds. The young nurse said the ‘pill tray’ was on its way down the hall. I asked if she could help me to the commode after she was done with Ray and she said yes, finishing up placing Ray in bed with the ‘lift’, she said, “I’ll be right back in a minute.” And she left the room. 

She came back to the room at nine-fifteen with another young nurse and they were both wearing yellow protective coverings and gloves, in one hand was a gait belt. The gait belt was placed around my waist and it was used to help lift my tiny eight-eight pound body. One nurse to my right and one to my left hand, both had hands gripped on my pained hips in a two-foot space, they lifted. I always counted so we could be in sync. One, two, three, lift, small grunt, and pivot. Imagine three women in a two-foot space trying to pivot. The gait belt was a necessity so as to avoid liability in anything breaking.

“Please, hold the belt until I’m completely seated. This is how my left femur became broken, a sloppy seating on the commode.” Tears began running down my cheek as the tragic incident flooded my mind. Embarrassment, pain, vanity, all danced around in my head as I was gently seated. They removed their gowns and left the room for me to urinate. I was pushing the nurses' call button as fifteen minutes on the commode was leaving my limbs numb. They returned, put on a new set of yellow gowns and gloves, and lifted me, pivot, and I sat on my bed and was ready to just sleep. I jokingly thanked them for the dance. It was my sense of humor and personality that kept these young ladies smiling as they took care of me for the next week.

Curtains were drawn lights out. I cried quietly because I honestly was afraid to be alone. My husband had spent the ten days at the hospital with me and this place barely had sitting room for my two guests. I was alone, except for my prayers and my roommate, Ray.

“You okay?” I hear in the darkness, it was Ray.
“Yeah Ray, I’m just lonely.”
“I get like that thumbtime. Itth okay to cry. What time do you get up?”
“About five for me.”
“Yeah, me too. I go to dialithith.” I drifted off a little as she continued talking, ever so lightly, but it was comforting in the darkness. “Okay, goodnight.”
I opened my eyes a second and whispered, “Goodnight, Ray.”

I was startled awake at about one o'clock as the bright lights came on and Ray was being tended to. I called out, “Can someone get my pain meds for me and I need to pee, too.” 
“Sure Joni, let us take care of Ray first okay?” 
Okay, thank you.” 
She went and got another nurse after calling down for pain meds for me. They gowned and gloved up and came around the curtain to help me. 

I was on twelve-hour oxysomething but allowed ‘2 booster pills’ for pain if needed. And being startled awake and moved around, I certainly needed the pain medication still at this juncture of healing. It had only been eleven days since surgery. The pill lady was a different nurse, she was called the ‘charge nurse’, I guess because she was in charge of the pills? Maybe the nurses too, I don’t know. She took my vitals while she was there at two o'clock so she didn’t need to wake me at three to do it all over again. Everything normal (except me) and with a ‘I hope you sleep well’ after shutting the lights off and closing the door, she was out of the room.

“That feelth better,” I hear Ray say on the other side of the curtain.
“Yeah, it sure does,” I whispered.
“Okay, goodnight.” 
“Goodnight Ray”

Jer. 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

One Ray of Hope

Pss. 119:105 (NIV) “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”

One Ray of Hope

That’s all I asked for really, is one ray of hope. I think it’s been less than two weeks since the Family Practice office called and asked me if I’d like an appointment to see a doctor. They just wanted to see where I was at with my treatment.

Well, I was told that my doctor GP (general practitioner) was leaving the office due to her residency being complete in July. July came and I still hadn’t made an appointment to get in there to see her before she left. Not because of me, mind you, because my husband had an eye doctor’s appointment and after that, his tooth decided to be in pain and he HAD to get that worked on, too.

So here we are in July and the Family Practice office called ME and asked if I’d like to make an appointment. She was a somber voiced woman sounding like the stress of the job was getting to her;  I said yes, taking whomever she picked for me. I thought she said I could see the PA (Physician Assistant) and we could discuss a referral maybe. I was scheduled for July 18th the woman said. 

I didn’t put much promise into the visit, all I wanted was one ray of hope. I’d say almost a month leading up to the visit were wrought with tears and angst, feeling abandoned by all doctors and just left out here to die. I think it came through in my previous posts and yes my friends knew something was bothering me.

I wasn’t sad because I thought this alternative route was failing, I knew things were working and I could feel it and literally SEE it. But I feel satan had his own plans in planting doubt and fear in my mind by the appearance of a lump in my RIGHT breast this time. Before you all jump to conclusions that my disease is spreading allow me to tell you. 

Consistency.  When I was a kid and even throughout my adult years of menstruating my breasts were lumpy Lil buggers, that is why this disease went unrecognized for so long. The lump, the cancerous one, was hard as a marble and grew over the months. The one on my right feels like a spongy little fella, moves around, making me think this is the difference in a cyst and a tumor.  

Just so you know, I SEE visual differences and this one obviously drew concern at first but then I remembered all I’m dealing with, stress, life, heat, monsters creeping under my bed. Okay no monsters, I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention. You get the picture, I know. This is not a journey I would wish on my worst enemy! But I’m barreling through like a champ and am even wondering some days where I’m getting this strength! (Trust me, I KNOW where I get the strength from.)

I’ve never lost sight of the Lord and with every tear that dripped onto the floor I knew, God was right there catching them for me. Then the eighteenth came and the doctor visit was at hand. No expectations in the least. I thought I was seeing a PA and getting a referral. I know what I had prayed for but I was willing to wait a little longer for the answer.

But it came, an answer to my prayer. You all know for six months (on the 25th) what I’ve endured, encountered, been hit with from the doctors, all of my illnesses and I do believe you all have been praying the same thing for me. When the M.D., (yup, not a PA) came into the room, introducing herself as the doctor and asked me what I was looking for I told her straight up, I need blood tests done to check for any vitamin deficiency or any other tests she could run. 

She asked me why I chose not to go the chemo route, I told her, I don’t believe in chemo, it has killed too many in my family and I NEED to try something else, I have a lot of nieces that might need to see another route to take one day. I told her, I don’t want to die from chemo and that is basically what I’d be doing if I went that route. I also said that if none of this works and I die because it didn’t work, it is MY choice, MY body and MY death on my hands, no one else’s.

She asked if I’ve done any research on this method of healing and I basically gave her the rundown of my research for the past six months, she listened, asked questions and nodded in agreement. I never at one time felt like I was off my rocker. She looked at me as an equal not down on me as if she was the all powerful Oz. Even when I mentioned CBD oil (cannabis oil) she sounded interested. I told her of all of the success stories I’ve read, about THOUSANDS of people healing and being CURED, not just hundreds.

I threw names around like The Truth About Cancer, Chris Wark of Chris Beat Cancer to Dr. Hoxsey, founder of the Oasis of Hope in Tijuana, Mexico and the Vitamin C treatments being done in Colorado. She looked intrigued and didn’t roll her eyes or throw her arms in the air once, brushing me off. Instead, she said the words I longed to hear, “I can run some tests.” Tears started to well in my eyes, but I didn’t allow them to flow over. I said, “I think I love you right now.” She chuckled then went on to tell me she’d test my B12 levels, C and D levels, bone density and liver and the other organs, and as she was speaking I zoned out silently praising God, thanking Him for answering my prayers. “…lab.” That’s all I heard, I think I was in shock.

I did hear her say it could take a few days, maybe by Friday for results. I was just sitting in shock. I know I became quiet and couldn’t believe what was happening. My husband who I took into the office for support was kind of shocked too.

She did ask if I wanted to get a colonoscopy, and all of the other internal test and I told her, please let me get to know you first. Allow me one thing at a time; this is all so overwhelming. I thanked her profusely, gave her a firm handshake and off I went to the lab with a smile on my face and a sunbeam in my hand.

I only prayed for one ray of hope…my God gave me an entire SON! 

The following verse is what greeted me this morning. All praise and Glory to Him! 

Pss. 24: 3-6 “Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.