Monday, August 12, 2013

More Sex Scenes for Teens?

More SEX Scenes for Teens?

Can you imagine my surprise when this subject was approached at the LinkedIn Forum. It’s a forum for adult writers/publishers/editors to toss thoughts around in the form of a Forum Topic. I don’t comment on many because through my experience, some (no names here) think they are above the little guy, and toss around their degrees acquired and their college this and that’s, that makes someone without a MFA feel small. A long post for sure, and I’m sure I’ll write more.

As the prude you all know I am, I had to comment. Here was the specific topic that got to me:


"More sex scenes in books for teenagers"? I'm meeting with a client (a respected, mainstream publisher) on Wednesday for a brainstorm on a possible new series of romance titles for teens, a kind of "teen erotica", with educational value - to some degree at least, in line with what is expressed in the following link. (no name)


No thanks, I won’t post the link on something that is telling me that we need more sex in books for teens so they can learn? They want to use erotica to teach children the ropes of love, not really love, but sexual arousal? You mean to tell me, this is where our educated children are getting their information on sex? Through these types of trashy (to me) books?


One of my responses went a little like this:


I think if we raise our children morally right, then they can make a moral decision whether to read what is deemed 'teen erotica' or not. (I personally think erotica is for healthy adults, not children)
If kids who are not raised in a moral environment read that type of book, then they are probably lacking education and hunger for the explicit content to teach them what they should feel.  


Wow, wouldn’t you know the higher ups (the ones who think they have ALL the answers and are RIGHT and no one can tell them differently) thought my response was spoken like a true na├»ve mother.


Joni, I am not saying that this applies to your son, but many, many parents get fooled by their children as to what they are up to, what they like to read and watch etc. And your post assumes, like so many others, that the novels we have in mind will be dirty tales of rampant sex. Not sure how many times we need to explain.
Then Paul jumps in and calls it trash. Says that kids can be tempted. Well, if they are not already temped by the trash that is out there, perhaps they might be tempted to read an erotic rendition that is not trash but has a moral message.


And IT (no name) went on to say:

One wonders how many copies of mom's 50 Shades has gotten to the hands of teenagers who must wonder, amid the preaching, about the hypocrisy of some parents.


Another WOW! For this person to assume that I’m a mother who would even TOUCH 50 Shades of Trash, one must assume, WHO is the preaching hypocrite here?


IT also said:

Joni, I am so glad for you and your son. Good work. As to 50 Shades, although the writing is horrible, the sex, I am told is quite good. No reason to deny yourself the experience of such literature, IMO.


I had said my son has a moral compass and wouldn’t TOUCH crap with erotica in it. Was this jealousy or envy that their son or daughter turned out to be a greedy/selfish/ immoral sex freak?


Does my son look at porn? More than likely so but we’re talking about WRITING/READING here. To call Shades literature to me is a slap in the face to writers of generations past and future generations who take writing more serious than, ‘lets add more sex so it sells’ writers.


I was not the only prude in the comments, there were many as you can imagine and non-religious freaks also. They had a moral compass that didn’t stem from religion, it stemmed from what they thought about a subject.


A comment:

Shame on anyone who contributes to sex for teens. Let them be kids as long as possible. How stupid some adults act. Such an idea only puts additional sex ides into their innocent minds. Research proves that young boys who dwell on porno rewire their minds and will be unable to sustain a relationship with a woman. So you contribute to more divorces. Shame shame shame on you. Some publishers will work for anything that makes them money No matter how you try to relabel it you are pushing sex and porno.


Oh, the bashing went back and forth and goes on for pages, and IT always came back with a response basically calling us unnatural, inhuman, sex-deprived beings who live in a box!


I had to share this forum topic with my son, who is a very vocal teen, that wants to be a writer, and loves reading books.

“Adam, what do YOU think?”


Adam’s response, “I think Shades is trash and NO, not all kids want to read that trash. I want to read a story and erotica is not storytelling, it’s sex. If I want sexual content, I’ll go to a porn site!”


Okay, I laughed, his honesty with me never ceases to amaze me. And while some uppity ups think all kids are liars and not honest with their parents, I say they are WRONG! Raised with a moral compass, kids can and will be bluntly honest!


I know what I like to read, he knows what he likes to read, and no I don’t find sexual gratification in a book with erotica. When did we as human beings need books and words in a book to fulfill us sexually?


Wow, I must have really messed up my son, huh? He has a moral compass that teens today would never know or understand for that matter.


Note to parents: Don’t let books raise your kids! Don’t let them learn life, sex, morals through a book! Lead by example and sure enough, your kids will learn! Talk to them, face to face, not via a text message!!!! I have to admit, homeschooling was the smartest thing I did for my son! He’s not led around by peers, he’s led by his moral compass, and that’s a GOOD thing!

Sad commentary from the ‘I know it all, IT’. I feel for this lonely person IT:

It may take another hundred years before John Lennon's image of no religion will come to pass...but make no mistake...religion as a fundamentalist ideology, is dying. I think it wise to do what we can to nudge that dying process whenever possible.

Religion, dying? While erotica is rising??? Sad thought isn’t it?

The final comment I read before unsubscribing after 200 and some comments?

The easier it becomes to get sex, the harder it is to find love!


I am not alone. Thank You, God!


benning said...

No, you're not alone! I don't write erotic scenes, and I feel uncomfortable reading them. It seems to be 'the thing' to add sex scenes to your writing.

As far as I can tell this has been growing for decades. And not just in writing but in all aspects of our society. All you need do is watch the news to see the latest sexual deviancy being touted as a 'Human Right'. As long as we can get our young to be sexualized as early as possible, then we can convince them as teens and young adults that all kinds of deviant behavior is acceptable.

As soon as the government started backing gay marriage I knew it would be a short time before other kinds of aberrant behavior would get the same support by the ever-present 'Rights' people.

As in the days of Noah ...

joni said...

Way before the 'support of Gay marriage' the media, before politicians, took control and splashed crud down our kids throats and made it okay.

Look at the Simpsons/Family Guy?
I won't watch TV and I dislike 'R' rated movies! BUT I have seen PG movies that I would NEVER sit down with my mother and watch.

Movies/television THEN politicians are all ruining a moral life for us 'prudes'. :/

Now writer's want to shove it down our kids throats? When do people take a stand??? Or does that NOT happen, we just accept it?

NOT ME!!! I WILL NOT Conform!

Tiggs said...

Way to go, Joni! I am with you. I won't read those books, but even if I did, I would not want my children reading that trash.

I do not see how ANY of it could be considered educational. Really, Educational? To read explicit sexual scenes?

I love how honest your son is with you--Unfortunately, that is not the norm is this society :(
I had to laugh at the comment "If I want sexual content, I’ll go to a porn site!” But LOVE the honesty!

I know my children were not as honest growing up as your son is--but that is due to circumstances at that time, but I KNOW that they had the same approach to books (at least the ones that were interested in reading). My oldest still reads, reads, and reads--and not the "trash" that is out there.

Mine are honest enough to admit that they will go to porn sites, but not "read" it.

I WILL NOT read That trash, my children WON't and I am sure with the love of GOOD books we are instilling into my grandchildren, neither will they.

We can hope this is a "fad" that will fail miserably, although seeing where our culture is going, I doubt it--that is the saddest part.

joni said...

THANK YOU, Tigs!!!

I'm seeing the responses from some of these people and REAL mothers are reacting the same way I did, while the 'sex sells' writer's are standing their ground and saying "Be gone with your God and Bible speak! This is the NEW DAWN!"

It is not and will not be MY new dawn, and poor us if this is where humans are headed.

Debbie Seko said...

It will always be Money over Morals for some...I would not want my grandchildren reading erotic scenes at any age. I would rather they learn about how to LOVE and when the time comes that their love for each other will be their sexual guide.

However, as long as people will pay to have folks write erotic books, or make erotic movies, regardless of quality, people will continue to back down from their morals and agree with any thing for money.

This too has been prophesied. It's all about Greed.

Same goes for violence...what happen to the days when movies implied what happened without having to show all the gory details.

A good writer can write a good book or movie without leaning on sexually erotic props, but those are what they comprise.

joni said...

This is so true Deb.

What really got me riled was they, the writer's here in that forum, were/ARE targeting CHILDREN!
I can not accept that. So men will be the pigs that they are but are we willing to sacrifice kids, for the almighty dollar?

No, we wouldn't!

I can say, I don't feel so alone now in this belief, instead I feel we are a truly rare breed!

I'm okay with that! :)

Aleshia Clarke said...

This doesn't surprise me, particularly when we see so many people from all walks of life being arrested in underage sex stings. I personally think there are lots of perverts out there who want these young people to be "groomed" in sexual matters, so they can be easily taken advantage of.

Instead of protecting our youth, too many adults are exploiting them. Not only is it disgusting, but it plays right into the hands of the growing ranks of human traffickers right here in the US.

Bravo to you for standing up against teen smut. The dark deceptions that ultimately lead to bondage and death can only be conquered by removing their facades and shining the light of truth on them!