I'm Alive

Photo by: Adam

Rom. 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

I’m alive and I’m okay with that. Depression sucks the blood right out of your veins until you feel like a shell of skin with nothing in between to hold it together.

“Sometimes you are satisfied with your life while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life…
A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of being a pilot. But a pilot on the plane sees a farmhouse and dreams of returning home.
That’s life! Enjoy yours… if wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing in the streets, but only the poor kids do that.
If power ensures security, then officials should walk unguarded, but those who live simply, sleep SOUNDLY.
If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships, then celebrities should have the best marriages.
LIVE SIMPLY, WALK HUMBLY AND LOVE GENUINELY. All good will come back to you.” ~ Healing Journey posted this to facebook. I don’t know who the author is but I like it. 

I need things like this to lift my spirits so I don’t feel so isolated in an over-populated world. I see the outside but gusty winds that nearly topple me, and continuous days of rain keeping the ground saturated and the cool temps of springtime are keeping me basically housebound. My extremely unfertile soil is keeping me from growing anything that resembles something edible and the scorching sun will devour my flowers that do make a comeback soon. 

You’d think I’d be writing like crazy but no when I get depressed, writing is the farthest thing from my mind. It’s a good thing I don’t eat like a mad hatter or I’d be as big as this house we live in. I’ve never really been into chocolate and junk mainly because when you’ve suffered from toothaches the size of Mt. Etna throughout your life, it does keep you in check of what you CAN eat and what you avoid at all cost. 

Even with my tooth problems taken care of, I’ve built a dislike for things that just aren’t good for me, to me, a blessing in disguise since heart problems and type2 diabetes and other health problems run rampant in my family. Taking care of my internal health hasn’t been a problem but it still doesn’t stop maladies from cropping up to attack me.

The world has me depressed. Not so much the world but the cunning people of the world, the hypocrites, the liars and deceivers that I truly believe are working for satan and not God. I have one or two friends that are children of God. You can see Him working through them and everything that they put out into the world glows like a meteor flashing across the sky. They shine brightly. 

I’m hanging onto my faith in God as tightly as I can as the wine bibbers and deceivers prowl around as if they are working with God but I can see right through them. They’re the once a week Sunday dwellers. The rest of the week they’re partnered with the likes of satan manipulating their lives so that people THINK they’re the children of God but clearly they are the workers of satan defiling the world we live in today.

We are too close to the end to be toying with the rights and wrongs of society. You think you have time because hey, God will forgive you, right? No matter what you do, God is the all-forgiving God who allows you to sin and sin and sin and keep on sinning until the last day when you say, oops, forgive me God and he whisks you away to the pearly gates in the sky? 

Yes, we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God and I strive every day to not continue in sin because I want myself clean before God, not a dirty rag that has been washed over and over in sin and at the last minute begs for forgiveness. I live to be who God wants me to be, not who * I * want to be in a selfish ego driven manner.   

I will fight my way through depression. I will pray for those who walk in the dark and are alive being a contortion of this world. I will ask for myself to be healed and cleansed. I will continue in solitude, grow in obscurity, bathe in the glory of monotony and focus on my inner qualities that God is shaping into His life form. I am a child of God not a child of this world.

A word from Charles Swindoll:

If you are reading me today, I hope it is because you have me bookmarked and look forward to reading me and my crazy thoughts. I have to stay away from facebook as one or two light-filled people don’t outweigh the many dark ones. I go now and wait for yet another storm to come and this one has a tornado watch attached to it, so be good people, I’m not going to be around forever to keep you in line. 

May the Light of the Lord shine from within you and carry it for the world to see. 

God Bless…

Rom. 8:29 “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”