The Gamut Of Emotions

An Icy Morning

Jer. 9:23-24 (ESV) “Thus says the LORD: ‘Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.’” 

The Gamut Of Emotions

After last Wednesday’s diagnosis I have been put through the mill of emotions; sorrow, pain, sadness, fear, grief, and believe it or not faith, hope, and joy. Now I feel like I’m being hit with a new emotion for the day, denial and off in the distance I can see anger galloping toward me. 

"No, it can’t be! They’re wrong. Wait for the test results. Doctors who know what to look for and feel for CAN be wrong, it’s rarer than the cancer you’ve been diagnosed with, but it does happen. Miracles happen too." < -- That's my mind talking. 

If you just thought to yourself after reading ‘Miracles happen’, “Yeah, she’s in denial.” Go away! Get very far away from me and leave me to believe all that I’ve believed and have already lived through and experienced in my life! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!

You don’t think it strange that people of no faith haven’t experienced a miracle in their life? They’re the ones who allow doctors to be the last word, they allow doctors to be their miracle cure. Yeah, I’m not about to put my faith in man. You see the world today? It’s because people, millions of people have put their faith and trust in their fellow man! Don’t misunderstand me please, I believe Doctor’s serve a purpose, but I believe only YOU know what’s best for your body and they should work WITH you so you both have the same vision as to where to go in treating you.

You know where the miracles come from? Emptying your reliance on man and placing your faith and hope in a God who created the very disease/injury or illness you are struggling to rid your body of!

Here’s what I’m reading, from a friend who is on the same page as me in seeing HOPE; and it has only been because I see HOPE, not a death sentence that man wants me to see. Surrounded by survivors, I see HOPE.

Article Summary by A Von Butz.

*From the conventional medical perspective, cancer is a disease that for all intents and purposes is just as untreatable today as it was 40 years ago.

*Cytotoxic chemotherapy chemicals destroy both good and bad cells leaving aggressive cancer cells behind and leaving patients prone to more cancer.

*Radiation treatments are increasingly being shown to trigger secondary cancers in patients within years after administration.

*We rarely hear about patients actually being cured from cancer when opting for chemotherapy and radiation. At best, these treatments might help extend a person’s lifespan by a few weeks, months, and sometimes years − usually with serious side effects and greatly reduced quality of life. At worst, such treatments kill patients more quickly than if they had chosen not to undergo them at all.

*There’s no money to be made in telling you how to avoid cancer in the first place. The “bread and butter” of the cancer industry is unleashing the next, latest-and-greatest cancer drug.

Think about that. “There’s no money to be made,” in a nutshell, every illness and disease can be prevented and cured but the ones making the money on your illness and disease are NOT going to tell you about it. They’ll pump you with drugs and radiation before they tell you of the holistic treatments that are in testing stages. They’ll say, “Oh it’s very expensive,” but what they mean to say is, “My colleagues don’t make one dime on holistic therapy.”

Prayer results in promise! I believe in the power of prayer and as a witness of the way it effects me, just this Sunday I woke after what I believe, hundreds upon hundreds of people are praying for me. Not just in this country, in other countries as well. Not just of the Christian faith either, many faiths (even atheists and non-believers, mind you) are all sending their thoughts, their prayers, their positive energy toward ME! I woke and felt rested. I didn’t want to cry, I wanted to go out, look at cows, look at the landscape, breathe in the farm air. (Yes, if you know what a farm smells like, I WANTED to inhale the aroma!)

Most of my mind is a blur. I’ve been doing so much reading about cancer my brain hurts. I AM optimistic, that’s the good thing but I’m hoping my doctor’s share the same optimism and deliver to me a shared treatment plan that I can get behind. What I don’t want is someone telling me that THIS (cut you open, dispose of tissue, and radiate) is the only option. I want to hear what is out there and being tried and tested, I want to be the face of the cure not the face of the disease. I DON'T want to be microwaved!

Now keep in mind, I have never been operated on in my life, not even a tonsillectomy. I’ve never broken a bone or been in a cast. I’ve kind of sailed through life uninjured until I hit forty-seven and was hit with arthritis and severe gum disease. Now at fifty, I am being hit with breast cancer? Boy, God must see a strong little soldier in me all geared up and ready to go into battle and ready to FIGHT tooth and nail for a promising outcome! 

But through it all, I prayed. I steadfastly prayed and God has either answered immediately or made me patiently wait but rest assured, He has never let me down once! Now if He’ll just step in and let the Doctor’s know and understand that He’s in control and He’s got this and guide them to an informed treatment based on knowledge, not MONEY! I do truly believe from the very General Practitioner to the breast specialist to the timing of all of the appointments, God is here working His plan. Now just let me accept His plan. 

2 Cor. 12: 9 (KJV) “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”