The Well Is Dry

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” 

– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

The Well is Dry

After writing yesterday, I prayed about what I wrote and the reason behind why on earth would I share such a pity party post? Well, I know why, because even I have my bad days. People think because I laugh and make them smile that there is nothing wrong in Joni’s world, well let me tell you, there are things wrong in my world! 

Is it possible to focus too much on the Lord, therefore alienating yourself from the rest of the world? Am I to blame for all the angst in my life? I sometimes think I am. 

I’m trying to get back into writing and my well is dry. I woke this morning with a renewed faith when cool air kissed my cheek in the middle of summer. It was 6o degrees and a storm was about to erupt when all of a sudden, a poem came to my mind. The rain began falling, the thunder cheered with lightning displayed across the sky.

Was this God cheering me on? Was He letting me know He was right there and hasn’t left my side? It is as if He was filling my well with water to drink and words to write. The poem I wrote was, God is Crying. I normally write a poem, let it rest a day, then come back to the poem and fix anything that doesn’t work for me. Through the thundering morning and cool rain showers egging me on, I felt the need to post the words right away, so if you see something wrong with the poem, take it up with Him.

Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”

I sometimes wrongfully think I’m in control of my life when I know full well God is in complete control. When I whine of the pain I’m in and cry about the reasons my disability hinders me from doing what *I* want to do, I have to remember who it is I work for first and foremost. If anyone remembers (you have to go back to my posts from 2011-12) my disability hit me after my hubby got his sight back after being blind for two and a half years. The many hours behind the wheel driving to and from Omaha, sometimes two times a week, (6-8 hour trips) took its toll on the lumbar portion of my back.

Had this happened while he was blind, I would have never been able to do the work that I felt God had called me to do and that was to take care of my man. Yes, that was basically the job I signed up for when I met my beau but it was so much more than that. God had His hands in the stew the entire time and he decided to whip it up a bit to see how I handled the situation. 

I’m allowed a day or two to feel sorry for myself, by dagnammit, no one else will or does for that matter so I feel I have to have my bad days or I’ll never rise up and be more than the pain that defines me.

It’s weird how me having a bad day warrants hits on my blog out the gazoo! My happy, joyful posts might get 13-20 hits but my woeful, pained posts near the hundred and over hit mark, how odd is that? When I began this blog, it was all about the writing craft and when I decided to make it about God, I no longer wrote for other people, the hits or the followers, I took on the challenge to write what God wanted me to write and what I felt that He spoke to my heart to say to the world.

I no longer write to satisfy everyone else, I never LIVE to satisfy others; I only live for God, pain and all. I realize that God has me this way because my heavy lifting, hours upon hours of driving, snow shoveling and overworking myself days are over. I would have never stopped so God made sure I stopped, maybe so I wouldn’t further damage myself, after all, He did see ahead of the steps I take, this is His plan and not one of my own selfish making.

Sure I would love to be able to walk normally again, to dance while dusting, to skip while vacuuming, to meditate while mowing the lawn but that is not God’s plan for me. His plan is for me to rest. Maybe he has something big planned or maybe not, maybe the walk in the cornfields is His plan for me. Nah, I know that is not His plan, He told me so. Now you’ll have to tolerate me a little longer!

I’ll end this post on a happy note. While my husband is complaining that the 61 degrees and rain is too cold for the month of July (he LIKES the 100 degree days), I am relishing the dampness of an eight-hour rainfall accompanied by a dark overcast sky with stormy weather erupting every half hour or so. I have washed clothes, dried clothes, and folded them all because my back loves cooler temps and affords me more mobility than normal. Praise be to God.

I have written two blog posts today and all is right with the world…for today. May you look at God’s plan as the master plan for your life and your own plans as selfish fodder. Life is already too short to be giving up when YOU are done, always remember it will last until God is done!

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.” 

– Mother Theresa

The Pits

Concordia, Kansas

Pss. 40:2 “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”

The Pit

It saddens me when people are so filled with hate that they need to point fingers, laugh at, mock, joke and make fun of people (after posting scripture mind you). The world is so full of negative influence that people just fall right into the web of deceit.

They are misled and misguided and they are only a source of light and inspiration to make themselves look good? It puzzles me to no end how people really feel good about themselves when they KNOW they’re not following God FOR God, they follow Him for looks.

I liken the world to a pit; a pit where people are clawing at the mud, trying to find purpose in their existence and just spilling more mud because clawing is only stirring up the avalanche of clay that will soon bury them knee deep in the mire.

They seek but cannot find; they search but cannot grasp; they claw and fill their nails deep with the clinging clay. They are stretching for everything out of arms reach. They think but they don’t think fully; they aim but always miss the target.

"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real; the choice to be honest; the choice to let our true selves be seen." ~ Brené Brown

People seem to graze at the truth but never end up capturing the truth. When the truth is captured they can lay claim to their authentic self, which has eluded them while seeking out the wrong things in life.

Why do people strive for what they can’t have? Why do they poke fun at others or crave what other people have? Why do people try to claim goodness when so much is eating at them where they need to release a negative spin on almost everything they touch, read or hear?

I see people trying so hard at being good but they lose track when they try too hard. Being good and righteous should not be a chore that one undertakes, it should be a flow of natural behavior that many, all too many, do not understand. 

They would much rather tread in a mud-filled pit and try to define good and bad and cling to both. It can’t be done. I see it being done but really it should not be a way to live. You cannot serve the masters of good and bad, right and wrong, dark and light. You’ll find yourself stuck in the pit and never finding sure footing of a way to get out. 

You can try and find God, but cling to the negative juncture in the road. You will try to see the light, but offer up a dark shading umbrella for people to climb under. You pretend to offer light but secretly hide the darkness within you and that is what is shining forth, not the light within you. 

Now I see where the term, ‘the pits’ comes from, “the pits” as slang for the very worst, the most degraded and depressing example of something. To me, humanity is ‘the pits’!  They live there, breathe there, share there and cling to their own beliefs infecting others like a wildfire burning out of control with the compulsion of negativity. People of the same thought process, ‘we can serve two masters and get away with it’ feed the pits.

I myself, when I see negative reactions to things I run like a bat outta hell! I won’t allow myself to be infected so I strive to spread light and love in hopes to give the people in the pits a rope to hold onto to pull themselves out.

While they continue on the path of politicizing everything, children are being beaten to death. While they fill their bodies with food and nourishment, people are dying without a bit of kibble to bite on. While they’re off laughing and enjoying poking fun at people, there are people being battered and bullied physically.  

Before laughing at all of the crazy crud going on in the world take action, not words and memes but first, take a look inside yourself and see what is bullied and battered and why you feel the need to poke fun at others. Maybe you’ll see a way out of that pit you find yourself dwelling.

Matt. 18:33 “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?”

Judgmental Nation

Prov. 14: 9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

Judgmental Nation

Your false idols do not worship you

As much as you lust for them.

Nudity appeals to men who knew

They’d boldly be condemned.

Our God is jealous of your love

For material and physical things

You claim to adore the man above

Not afraid of what sin brings?

You continue on the erroneous path

You’re filled with misguided hate.

Laugh and scoff at God’s wrath

As you continue to berate?

You mock the people not like you

Judging those not the same

Laugh and scoff as you do.

There’s no one but you to blame!

A hypocrite will praise the Lord

Then turn and face the crowd

With mocking stance, you’re adored

Alone, obnoxious and proud.

When you can serve two masters

An image comes to mind.

Your life will fill with disasters

Your heart will be left blind.

Wake up you judgmental nation

You cannot serve the two.

While sin is your fixation

God alone knows what to do.

Prov. 17:5 Whoso mocketh the poor reproacheth his Maker: and he that is glad at calamities shall not be unpunished.

Smiley Abuse

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~Author Unknown
***

You know, the one thing I like about having my own blog, is not only being able to talk about what I want,  it is to be able to do so with no legal ramifications. I think I’ve used one pic on this blog in the many years that I’ve been writing it, that wasn’t mine. It didn’t have a name or I most certainly would have given that person full credit.

I use quotes, write my own poetry and most of all, give you a daily dose of realism. Listen up, I’m about to tell you something life altering here, life is not about the virtual world. Sure the social networks are fun, sure you meet people, wave and say good morning to them, but I’m telling you people, after that, it is time to get out into the real world.

I think I’ve badgered f2k enough this week and seriously, this hopefully (no promises) will be my last rant of disgust with the place.

Smiley abuse is something that us abuse victims despise. Why? Because, we were abused, so to see something slaughtered and tortured, plundered and spread like butter on a virtual wall/forum? To me, that is just wrong. Trust me, I take a lot of heat for this, “It’s just a smiley!” they say, or “It’s fun and everyone else likes it!” But, since this is MY blog, I can clearly state, I DON’T  LIKE SMILEY ABUSE!

When I was little, many many moons ago, I had a shirt with a smiley face on it, It was a blue sweatshirt and the smiley was yellow. It was in a time before smiley even had a complete circle around him, to complete him. It was before computers were the IN thing. That shirt was my comfort zone in a world of chaos. 

I grew attached to that emotion of a smile, always being on me because I was clearly sad most of the time, but that smile could make my day. You’d think I’d love seeing him abused wouldn’t you? Well, I’m sorry, when I see him 100 times in a forum post, there is something seriously dysfunctional about that. One or two, okay, five, I deal, ten, I might say whoa a little overboard, but come on, twenty? To just say, WHEEEEEEEEEE! WOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!

I’m telling you folks, I never thought that a simple gesture could cost me my sanity, because, “she was the one asking for an Angel smiley.” Yes I did, but NOT to abuse! Is there no other way to express excitement? I mean, you’re on a course with over 1200 writers and the best way to express excitement is woohoo and a smiley? Writers? Serious writers? PROFESSIONAL writers?

You can all stonewall me all you want, to be honest, I’ve been isolated for years because of my beliefs without a soul to really care for me. Just because I like order? I prefer normal to chaos? I don’t like insanity? Am not going to embrace it?

I have a life. It may not be much of one, but it is mine. And if everyone is so wrapped up in social networking, forums, chat rooms and the such, it tells me immeasurable amounts about you. Oh...and stop bullying smiley! You are bordering legality issues for sure.

Funny Friday

Welcome to Funny Friday (or not so funny) Mild Language. Aww, just this once!

PRINCIPALITIES FOR WRITING by Janice Howard

We all know finding work can be challenging, but recently, GURU added a new slant when it offered writers a project for "flash product demons." But not to be outdone, Job Sleuth would like a writer who can "work with all the angels." So take your pick, folks... the battle between good and evil is just waiting for that next proposal!

How the media would handle the end of the world

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.

Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World Ends.

National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, Together Again.

Inc. Magazine: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse.

Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.

Sports Illustrated: Game Over.

Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse.

Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with Our New "Armageddon" Diet!

TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!

Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?

Microsoft Systems Journal: Netscape Loses Market Share.

Microsoft's Web Site: If you don't experience the rapture, DOWNLOAD software patch RAPT777.EXE.

America OnLine: System temporarily down. Try calling back in 15 minutes.

Q. How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Ten. One to change it; nine to think they could have done it better.

Wilma and her husband Barney, a hard-working writer, go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep.The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!!Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!!and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells:IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

Freaky Funny Friday

With Freaky Funny Friday I try to bring a smile to the board. Everyone needs a smile in their life otherwise life might look too serious. Keep smiling and enjoy your day! TGIF~ joni

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.
"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.


Ode to the Spell Check ~~author unknown

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It cam with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect awl the weigh

My chequer tolled me sew!