Poetry Sunday ~ I Am Here

Jer. 23:4 “And I will set up shepherds over them which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the LORD.”

I am here

I am here Lord thirsting for your presence

Carry me away in the fruit of your essence

I am here

I am here

I am here to bask in your radiant light

Bathed by your breath in the midst of my fight

I am here

I am here

I am here Lord with the door open wide

Waiting for your touch to fill me inside

I am here

I am here

I am here with you Lord my arms raised high

I worship you Father with every tear that I cry

I am here 

I am here

I am here like a shepherd that sheep will follow

I am also the carcass all empty and hollow

I am here

I am here

I am here waiting for you to carry me home

To the place where shepherds and sheep freely roam

We are here

We are here

All praise and Glory to God!

Matt. 9:36 "But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd."

Bouncing Back After A Fall

Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

Bouncing Back After A Fall

As much as I hear other people whine and complain about politics, life, bills, and setbacks, my biggest complaint this year is SNOW! Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I’d be complaining about too much snow, but here it is upon me now!

After this Sunday’s high of sixty splendiferous degrees, Monday was crash and burn let out the snowfall! Snow it did, all day! It never amounted to much but we finally had a week of a thaw that melted snow from as far back as Christmas, I was never so happy to see the resurfacing of the brown palette.

Monday, the white returned to the ground. Granted it was beautiful, granted it snowed the entire day but produced nary an inch but it was back, causing traveling headaches. The white was back on the ground, the bitter cold kicked into overdrive and we’re back to fluffy socks and big sweaters. For a couple of days, we enjoyed long sleeves but no need for a sweatshirt, scarf and gloves, and those were days topping out in the thirties. It’s not that I’m whining about cold and winter, my gripe is in the extended duration of deep cold spells. Yup, winter is like that! I KNOW!

While the negativity I feel with each snowfall now tries to tear me down, I am clearly in a bouncing back mode and am letting nothing beat me up! Scientifically, “crying is one way that the body removes stress chemicals,” from The Truth About Cancer. Sunday was a crying day and I do allow myself days of downtime because this upbeat, peppy all the time, no pain and just soaring gets to be a tiring chore like the shoveling of snow, instead of an accepted way of life.

I bet some of you are saying ‘you could’ve just went the chemo route and you’d already be in remission.’ You don’t understand this disease any more than I do. As a matter of fact, you and I don’t know any more about this illness than the big bad doctor. He’s just doing what they’ve continued to do for thirty and forty years. Times have changed. There are new ways of beating this Big C but the studies take too long and the doctor doesn’t wish to embrace these new ways so, in the meantime, people die all because of tradition. Their pockets are amply lined with money from insurance and the pharmaceutical companies and people are going out to pasture!

My body speaks to me and God speaks to me. John 10:27 says, "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” For ME, the choice was simple, to follow that still small voice and go where He leads me. Here lately my body is telling me that something isn’t working and it kind of threw me off because I was having good, productive, pain-free days. Slowly the pain was sliding back into my legs and my back, walking was pained, muscles strained and with the winter's lack of sunshine and outside activity (besides shoveling snow), I was feeling a bit discouraged, what was wrong? It had to be something in my diet that I had changed.

You see, when you’re on such a strict protocol of food that you eat, the food then tells you what is wrong, like the recent frozen processed pizza I had. No, it wasn’t just that one pizza, it had to be something else. The only thing I could think of is wheat bread or organic oatmeal. I’m leaning more towards the cause being the WHEAT! 

I started allowing wheat bread into my diet around January first because I listened to other BC women who said that wheat wasn’t bad for our diets, go figure. I give up bread for a year and soar, let wheat bread in and crash. Really it is a no-brainer to figure that one out. 

Matt. 11:16 “But whereunto shall I liken this generation? It is like unto children sitting in the markets, and calling unto their fellows,”

I hear the term ‘sheeple’ in the political arena often and since I’m not into politics and don’t allow that negativity in, I assume it is a derogatory remark of ‘stupid people’ following along after every wind that blows. (Please, there is no need to elaborate for me, thank you.) I conclude this summation because sheep have no survival skills like other animals, no way of fending for themselves; set them in the wild and they will be slaughtered because they need a shepherd to guide them. I think on a religious term sheeple can be the people following Christ the Shepherd, we seem dumb because we’re following along after a non-living entity (to others) and the zombie effect has a hold on us.

I only feel dumbed-down when listening to man and anything HE (or she) has to offer me in way of the ‘direction’ I should go. I listened to the BC group of women because they are going through the exact same thing I am going through with the Natural Protocol route and thought for a brief moment that maybe they knew what they were talking about. Granted they have a lot of knowledge on the subject but I’ll say this again, what works for one does not work for all.

Deut. 8:8 “A land of wheat, and barley, and vines, and fig trees, and pomegranates; a land of oil olive, and honey;”

At one time, the wheat, barley, and figs were of purity, not tainted by man. Man dusts these grains with chemicals, modifies them for the almighty dollar, making people sick in the process.

Through those links I shared, can you see what I’m up against? I’m up against man and his destruction of man! Maybe at one time wheat wasn’t such a bad grain, but with the rise of organic everything, there is more to the story that ‘man’ isn’t telling you. It’s okay, you have a doctor with his prescribed candy to make you feel better. I think the term ‘sheeple’ should stand for man following man, period! To ME, that is EXACTLY what it means. The main thing that makes me ‘different’ is I follow the One and the only living God. As soon as I listen to a man (or woman) I fall, crash and burn. Interesting.

Back to my strict protocol thank you very much. Run along now, Billy is running up the hill after Bobby, and Janie isn’t far behind with Tommy in tow seeking the candy that Timmy is offering.

Jer. 12:13 “They have sown wheat, but shall reap thorns: they have put themselves to pain, but shall not profit: and they shall be ashamed of your revenues because of the fierce anger of the LORD.”

Luke 6:49 “But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.”

Poetry Sunday ~ The Voice of the People

Jer. 17:23 “But they obeyed not, neither inclined their ear, but made their neck stiff, that they might not hear, nor receive instruction.”

The Voice of a People (rewrite)

Divided nation defined by complexion

Giving people of color their own little section

We’ve taken blood and changed it to blue

To suit what’s befitting in all that we do.

Changing the prism that reflects amber light   

Cannot be shaken amid darkened night

Believers are ones who bear heavy burden

To stand together as people are hurting

Sharing the Word through love rearrange

the hearts of men for hatred exchange

Caring for people too feeble to take action

The light we emit gives trails to our traction

As your somber soul grieves, God has a plan

For nations, the living, the slain and for man

Bring forth to the world, the difference, the spark

The part of Light that shadows the dark.

It Strikes Me...

Prov. 31:25 (NLT)“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” 

It strikes me…

Well, it hit me again, I was walking through Wal-Mart and it strikes me as odd at a number of people not even paying attention to what they’re buying. They just look, grab, and place the merchandise in the cart. Me, I’m scanning every label, reading every ingredient, more times than not replacing the product back on the shelf, even when it says organic.

Now that I know what I’m looking for at the store, it sure makes shopping much easier, because I can avoid the aisles with stuff I don’t need and if hubby wants something, he goes off on his own to get it without making me venture down the ‘toxic aisles’.

Then something hit me this week. I rounded the bakery section and was heading to the checkout and it caught my eye, a pink shirt with the decal on it ‘FIGHT FOR THE CURE’. As I got closer to the shirt, touched it, looked at the bold lettering and the pink ribbon, tears began to well up in my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry in Wal Mart. I knew what the shirt was saying, I knew all too well. 

You see, I always looked at those things and just became saddened for other women who fought, were fighting, or had lost someone. But for me? I never associated the pink with me. I never saw myself as a ‘one day that’ll be me’, no, I never let it cross my mind, I never grasped that straw.

And here I was gazing down at the pink shirt, touching the fabric, running my fingers over the letters and realizing it is me. That decal is referring to me. I’m one of them; one of the hundreds of thousands of women who this pink ribbon stands for. I felt small, I felt like an ant in the middle of the store with all the big humans passing by not seeing me carrying the heavy crumb. They were passing by not giving me a second glance. I was nothing on their radar. They were hurried and rushed and I stood there just looking at this shirt.

I let it go. I didn’t want the pink, I didn’t want to associate with what the shirt stood for. I in no way wanted any part of it. Just like the disease that is running through the very cells of my body, I don’t want any part of it. I seek normal, I just want what I deemed to be normal back and yet as I run my mind through the reality of it all, I have to let it go. Normal will never come back and this new lifestyle is the new normal for me. I have to accept that.

As we were driving home I asked my husband what the shirt said. My brain to me said FIGHT THE CURE, and my husband said no, it said fight FOR the cure. So as I held that pink shirt in my fingers, my mind was telling me a truth FIGHT THE CURE. That is my reality. THAT is the shirt I want to wear.

To me fighting FOR the cure could mean giving the oncologist their rights in filling innocent women with poisons. It is putting your support behind the victimization going on and treating everyone like little gathering ants. Give them a crumb here and there but don’t you dare give them wings! Ants can’t fly and by allowing them to think they can is going to start an entire new breed of ants! Fight FOR the cure could also mean that there has been no cure found. The oncologists give you pacifying drugs but chemo is in NO WAY the cure, so we women must FIGHT FOR THE CURE to be found.

And to me FIGHTING the CURE means just that, fight the very thing that doctors are feeding millions of women. Fight what truth they believe and set out to find your own leg to stand on. Fight everything they hold like poisons to be the ‘cure’. Because as I’ve learned over these past eight months, the doctors are only selling you what the pharmaceuticals are selling them. I could be 100% wrong, but again, all that I’ve learned in the past eight months tells me that I and thousands of other people are feeling the same thing I am and trusting their instincts and finding what works for them!

Our bodies were created with an immune system. That immune system is in place as a healing mechanism that the human body utilizes. To me, not trusting God’s creating abilities, is in a sense not trusting God at all. When you look at a DNA strand, do you realize how intricate that strand is and all it stands for? The strand is God in an intimate shower within you.

Hebrews 4:16, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (NIV)

When you were little, didn’t you come to depend and trust your father? You looked up to him and held him in the highest esteem and trust. When he told you something, you believed it to be true and to this day, I can almost guarantee you utter the words from time to time, “My daddy always said…”
Why would we think that our Heavenly Father is any different than ‘our daddy’? 

If truth be told. God is our daddy and we can trust Him as we walk. Just like your earthly father, He will never lead us down the wrong path. We’ll stumble, we’ll fall but he’ll see to it that his gentle loving hand lifts you back up and sets you on the right path again. We just have to trust Him like we trusted our daddy all of our lives. He did NOT give me this illness, that’s like saying he led down the wrong path like he made me destroy my body. Nope, we all know where sin comes from and my torturous life led me to this illness, not God. 

It strikes me as kind of odd that people put more trust in a human than the intricate, intimate Creator. Maybe it’s just me; maybe I’m the odd one. I separate myself from this disease so it doesn’t own me. I face the enemy with the Sword of Truth. I strike the lies before it strikes me!

James 4:8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (ESV)

Quotation Saturday ~ Life Lessons

Pss. 24:4 “He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.”

Life Lessons

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” 
― Haruki Murakami

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.” 
― Maya Angelou

“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” 
― Santosh Kalwar

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” 
― Roy T. Bennett

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.” 
― Judith McNaught

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

“There were people who went to sleep last night, 
poor and rich and white and black, 
but they will never wake again. 

And those dead folks would give anything at all 
for just five minutes of this weather 
or ten minutes of plowing. 

So you watch yourself about complaining. 

What you're supposed to do 
when you don't like a thing is change it. 
If you can't change it, 
change the way you think about it.” 
― Maya Angelou

“Certain things in life simply have to be experienced -and never explained. Love is such a thing.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”
― Robin Williams

“You take people, you put them on a journey, you give them peril, you find out who they really are.” 
― Joss Whedon

“I'm not a body with a soul, I'm a soul that has a visible part called the body.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 
― Albert Einstein

Fusion Of Confusion

Job 23:12 "Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food."

The Fusion of Confusion

I have to admit, what gets me down these days is the confusing mess of foods. For the past four months I’ve read this, that and the other thing. Eat this, don’t eat that, try this, this FEEDS cancer, leaving me in a total state of confusion and seriously just want to be left alone! 

A perfect example is this from this link.

“Your alkaline diet should be primarily based on organic leafy green vegetables, cauliflower and cabbages, broccoli, herbs and spices, root vegetables, beans, nuts and seeds, lentils and peas, onions, garlic, leek and chives, and non-gluten grains such as rice in small amounts.”

Now from ChrisBeatCancer and The Truth About Cancer says NO to nuts except almonds, and NO to beans and lentils and NO to grains! This kind of puts me in a state of confusion as I’m trying to fight this battle. I get so frustrated with so much mixed information!

This weekend was one of those weekends where everything I did seemed wrong, everything I touched seemed to break, and everyone I spoke to I feel I spat words instead of used encouraging words. I just wanted to be left alone. It was my anniversary and we already committed to going to our nephews' marriage. He is my husband’s sister’s step-son (from a previous marriage on her husband’s part) but an honorable young man none the less.

I knew being around all of those people was really going to put a strain on me, and my husband said it’s because I don’t like being around people. I think he’s wrong, I love people but here lately the enemy is filling me with doubts and judgments, anger, frustration and disgust.

It hasn’t even been four months since my diagnosis and I’m just expected to be the old me who wasn’t told she has an illness. An illness that scares the world but I’m expected to wear a brave face constantly and I’m moving along in my stride, trying my best. Sunday the fourteenth I sat in repentance and now I need to heal from my sin. Writing helps me to actually SEE the errors of my ways, and humility will bring me sharing them with you, my reader, the ones who care for me and will pray for me.

The week before, we went to a graduation where there were hundreds of people. The graduation and people didn’t bother me as much as not being able to go out and eat afterward. Then the wedding, the same thing happened, I didn’t feel strong enough to go to the reception where food, booze and people (who all appeared healthy) were going to be. 

My husband is a people watcher. I’m sure many of you can relate. You go to the beach not to drink in the health of the sea, but to basically watch people. You go to carnivals and fairs and what do you wind up doing? Watching people, it’s human nature I understand that. Here lately, I do not feel human!

I feel like one of those old beat up, run down cars sitting on someone’s property, just there to one day be worked on, but in the meantime, it is just there. I go to a graduation and I’m just there, a wedding, just there. I’m rusty and corroded while everyone else is shiny, sporting new do’s, new clothes, ten-inch heels, strutting like they have no care in the world, looking like a picture of health and then there is me, I’m just there.

My neighbor, who is a hoarder, has three cars sitting over there, they’re broken down but they look like they work. They don’t look bad at all, other than them clogging up the property. That’s what I feel like, I’m just here clogging up the family, having them worried and concerned if what I am doing is not insane when there are drugs out there to help me. 

I allow myself some down time and then I repent because I KNOW I am stronger than this. I KNOW I can beat this and I am the most optimistic person in my corner. Pastor Bill said something that struck me, he said, “When you’re sick sure, go to the doctors but know who the ultimate physician is.” And he gave a scripture James 5:13-15. (look at that number that is the date that I got married.) 

James 5:13-15  "Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him."

So as the enemy works on filling me with doubts and having me second guessing myself, I’m trying to be the fixer-upper that I know resides in me. All of the negativity and hate that people spew is not helping the matter so I need to stay away for awhile so I can build the strength I need to get through this. 

Yes, in time I will have more strength. What I eat and what unhealthy living habits others eat and drink won’t bother me, but right now that is causing me to want to spew hateful comments and that is NOT WHO I AM!! I’ll continue to pray for you.

I just received a message from my mother that her brother has been placed in hospice and will be passing soon. His ex-wife just died in April and their son passed in December. Prayers are definitely needed as my God saves me while taking others. 

I have left my email address on my facebook account in case you don’t see me or hear from me, THAT is how to contact me. I will be deleting my other account soon so THAT is not an option of contact. 

I am grateful for those who have continued their support of me and I pray for those who don’t. I am not weak, I am STRONG and glad to be alive and find life so worth living, I am taking care of myself to see that I continue. 

God be with you all! 

2 Tim 1:7  “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

My Realization

Some see an electric pole, I see a cross

2 Sam. 22:40 “For thou hast girded me with strength to battle: them that rose up against me hast thou subdued under me.”

The Realization

Well, I think I’ve discovered the reason for my ‘grumbles’ as some call it. It’s the realization that this is my new life and it isn’t going anywhere soon. Let me ask you, when you walk into a food store what’s the first thing you see? Food, right?  Now look at the food, all of it and think, I can’t have any. That is my new life. This is the source of my grumbles.

My new life consists of expensive foods that I probably shouldn’t even be eating. I’m cautious with every bite and every single purchase and hubby is always on the lookout for something I ‘might’ be able to eat. If it’s a fruit or vegetable, yippee, that’s me, but I’m human, I don’t like every fruit and vegetable on the market. But I'm willing to try those once disliked veggies.

I can’t eat processed food so the majority of boxed, canned and frozen foods are out of the question. The brown eggs hubby buys me are four dollars a dozen (sometimes on sale) and I go through a dozen a week. I go through two bags of seven-dollars-a bag of grapes a week, and strawberries I eat a lot of whether in season or out of season.

This is my reality. This is the realization that if I want to live, I cannot visit a fast food restaurant ever again. I can’t go to the new Dunkin Donuts that just opened up. Visiting a movie house would be as torturous as going food shopping, the aroma alone will eat me alive. Not that we visited any of these places often, but we had a choice. Now, my only choice is live or die. I look at every item on the shelf and painstakingly have to look at the ingredients. No soy, no wheat, that just about leaves me meat and dairy which is not allowed either, so yeah, that leaves cruciferous veggies, fruit (not all), and berries.

If you’re on a diet, you have a choice. You can cheat, you can go off your diet at any time, and honestly, you can look forward to your diet ending and going back to eating all the food you want. I myself, don’t have that choice. Again, my only choice in the matter is live or die! If I cheat, I am cheating myself of life and my willpower is too strong for that. I choose life, plain and simple.

I am not complaining, I am not grumbling, I’m letting you in on the realization that THIS is my new way of life. I do have a choice, I could live or I could die, quite simple choice, no? I choose life. Why grumble, why whine? Because the realization hits you in the face, that THIS is your new way of life! Let’s say you’re driving down the road and a Mack truck is heading straight for you, in that instant, you swerve to miss the head on collision. You chose to live, you chose to live with the realization of what plummeting into the ditch will cause.

I’m out here in the middle of nowhere building my strength. I go to the food store to see just how strong I am and I’m getting better! The first time I went food shopping, I left bawling my eyes out, the second and third time were a little better, but last time we left the food store we had to stop and get gas. Tears overflowed my eyes in silence. The pictures on the outside of the gas station were images of donuts. We sat next to a Buffalo Wild Wings, another new business I never had the chance to try. 

Surrounding me was a Burger King, an Applebee's restaurant where we had our wedding day meal, and then there was Wendy’s where I had my last meal from the outside world. The images and memories just poured in and my eyes reacted, my heart hurt and I cried. This is all a part of my healing too as I see how strong I am each day and just how much this little lady can take. 

Then there were the people hurrying out of the surrounding places with either a drink or food in their hand or lighting a cigarette. There were big people and little people, short people and tall people all with the same choice as me, to live or die, and my crazy mind is thinking that they are choosing a slow death over life. I can sit here and say it’s their life and I don’t care what they do but in all honesty, I DO care. I care very much whether people live or die. I can’t change their choices but I can hear their voices, and not one of them are saying, I WANT TO LIVE! 

You can say that this is me judging people but I say it is me observing people. I do care whether people live or die but it is not my CHOICE on what they choose in life. I, a little late in life, choose to live and this is the realization of my new way of living. 

2 Sam. 22:33  “God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.” 

Moving Forward

Matt. 8:7 "And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him."

Moving Forward

Every day I think of posts to write and when I rise from a well rested eight-hour sleep, read my morning devotional, I begin to write, usually not what I had intended but something entirely different. I try to squeeze in what I intended to write and it usually works out pretty good for me and becomes an inspirational read for you. 

Today I intended to write of my new Healing Diet but when I woke the words Moving Forward kept playing and replaying so let's see how this mind works as we weave the two topics together. 

Today is the day we are forced to move our clocks forward in the wee hours of a Sunday morning. Yes, I say forced because if we don’t oblige we will be out of sync with the rest of the world. We can’t have that now, can we? This is another one of those instances where the government likes to be in CONTROL and the people are left submitting to another of their demands.

But it is also a day I move forward in my Healing Diet and continue to treat my body as this high and mighty temple that God built for me and I’m just here trying to maintain the spirit and the flesh that houses the body.

My birthday is coming in a little less than two weeks and my mother sent me money ‘to buy myself’ something. I never like to buy myself something because there is so much more that is needed but this year I BOUGHT myself something! 

We went to the mall the other day (yes me!) and I browsed and shopped! I dislike shopping on so many levels but this day was a me day. You know what the hardest part of going out into the world to shop is? Seeing all of the billboards with advertisements on liposuction, and others that blare of the new restaurant in the area. Do they want to suck off all the fat that you get from those unhealthy restaurants? 

Driving by the fast food restaurants is hard too as I think of all the bubbling grease coming to life waiting to toxify the unaware customers. I see Buffalo Wild Wings with what I’m almost 100% certain that those chickens are shot up with growth hormones and preservatives. I see the Burger Palaces, Donut shops all enticing people to come in, let us fatten you up so you can be one more day closer to death. 

Yeah, that’s what goes through my mind now. While I miss all of the unhealthy eating myself, I’m sad to think that I was so naïve and easily misled. Why would I think that restaurants, even the most well-intentioned Chinese Food restaurants, would think of my health and me? 

I really look hard to see one sign that says, WE SELL ALL ORGANIC! WE use the best and safest oils, free range meats, and non-toxic foods because WE care about YOU! That’s almost funny because there’d be no money in that, eh? 

As we the people move forward maybe one day there will be MANY restaurants that will go the healthy route over the dollar making industry. I can bet if there was such a franchise the people who could afford the food offered would keep that business alive. Why? Because we are all really seeking to be our healthiest we can be. 

As I move forward in healing, the very first thing I changed was my diet. No carbohydrates, no sugar, no dairy, no meat. Wow! Two weeks and four pounds lighter I had to add something to this all fruit and vegetable health change. I searched and researched, the common bond was change and healthy eating. 

There are many diets out there to fight and HEAL the BigC (I won’t name it, I won’t own it) like the Gerson Diet, The Budwig Plan, and ChrisBeatCancer, just to name a few. Please don't tell me that this one says this and the other says that, I KNOW, and thus the very reason I am working what works for ME! 

The Budwig Plan says: “Toxins are one of the main factors that contribute to various diseases, so controlling them is essential. A regular intake of fruits and vegetables helps you to actively detoxify your body, which is a fundamental part of our diet plan.”

While the Gerson Diet doesn’t allow what the Budwig diet allows and Chris’ diet doesn’t allow stuff either. Dr. Morse was another man I listened to and as you can imagine, as a newly diagnosed patient, this all can be overwhelming. There was one common thread that tied them all together, healthy eating. As I searched and researched, I had to come up with a plan that worked for me and MY body, including the supplements that will carry me through the healing process. 

I’ve decided to write a book titled Beating Cancer on a Budget! But here’s the catch, unlike all of the other places that are marketing their systems, Chris, TTAC, Budwig, Gerson, Dr. Morse. I plan on giving my book away for FREE! (they pay S&H) or in eBook format and I will only take donations if they wish to do so.

I don’t know how all of this is going to be pulled together but I have faith that God will take control and have me help the needy. I’m poor, I’m as poor as they get. I have a roof over my head, food on my plate (healthy food, I might add) and clothes on my back! The very least I can do is pay-it-forward! Then all of your donations will not only be to help me, it will be to help others who are less fortunate as we all move forward to heal one person at a time!

Quote from the movie Zootopia.  
Bunny Judy Hopps: “I thought this city would be a perfect place where everyone got along and anyone could be anything. Turns out, life's a little bit more complicated than a slogan on a bumper sticker. Real life is messy. We all have limitations. We all make mistakes. Which means, hey, glass half full, we all have a lot in common. And the more we try to understand one another, the more exceptional each of us will be. But we have to try. So no matter what kind of person you are, I implore you: Try. Try to make the world a better place. Look inside yourself and recognize that change starts with you.”

Try Everything! Listen to this song and think of ME! God Bless! 

My Body Is A Temple

Pss. 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

My Body is a Temple

I’ve heard, read and believed this statement but not until I was diagnosed with cancer did I fully understand what this meant. I knew it meant that I should treat my body, mind, and soul as a temple but did I believe that I would reap what I sowed. I don’t think so, I don’t think any of us do really.

I sowed and sowed,  at one time I smoked, did drugs, ate anything I wanted and never felt one time that I was going against all I knew and learned from the bible. The words in the bible were written for us today as much as for the people two thousand years ago. 

I see with many of the different religions of the world that elements of the Holy Bible are strewn in there to look like their very own religion. They are not called Christian but many have the same principles and most all have in some form of another how the body is the holiest of temples. How do we not see it?

Prov. 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.” I think, therefore I am. Ring a bell?

I think it’s a part of conforming, doing what everyone else is doing, eating what they’re eating, drinking what they drink. If you have heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, cancer or any numerous other diseases, you are reaping what you’ve sown throughout your life. Your body is failing because it was not treated as the temple that it was formed to be.

Did you ever wonder why in the Old Testament, we read the precise food we’re to eat? Did you ever notice how altars were built to perfection? Noah’s Ark was built to perfection? Do you remember what happened when temples were defiled? They were destroyed. That is exactly what happens to our bodies when they become defiled by the ways of the world.

All the lessons are there for us to learn but yet we defile them daily. I am not exempt, obviously. I have cancer and my body is reaping what I’ve sown. I have eaten bad, I have treated my body as if it was mine when in reality it is God’s and has been all along. I got this wake-up call and repented immediately. I screamed out “forgive me, Father for what I have done.”

Every time we make unhealthy choices we are defiling the temple that God trusted us with and usually it takes something as a serious illness or disease to wake you up with a God-slap moment. We need to repent. We need to change.

Do you know what country that has the lowest breast cancer? Japan. And the highest rate of cancer? 
Highest: 
Lowest: 

It’s a fact, the Western Culture has some of the highest cancer rates and diseases because we’re gluttons. We’re not like the third world countries where we have minimum foods to eat like herbs, leafy vegetables, and fresh fruit. Think about it, we eat like kings compared to the Africans. We’re gluttons. We treat our bodies as if we can do what we want with no ramifications and if you’re dealing with ANY type of illness all you have to do is look at your daily eating habits. Your diet is your gluttony.

In the past four weeks the only meat that has gone into my body has been two pieces of freshwater salmon, the only vegetables were/are organic in nature meaning no toxins, and the only dairy was/is farm fresh vegetarian fed chickens eggs. I have all of the organic fruits I can eat and I'm feeling great! You could not tell I have any illness residing in me. Headaches, coughs, sinus problems can all be attributed to the foods you eat and the toxins you breathe in.  

I know what you’re thinking, ‘that’s not food you're eating!’ Well let me tell you, this is the best I’ve ever felt in my life! MY ENTIRE LIFE! Did you ever wonder why God chose manna to feed the Israelites? Why Jesus fed thousands with loaves of bread? Why didn’t He have hundreds of animals drawn to the people for them to slaughter and eat? Why didn’t He lead the people to bacon and fried chicken? Because He KNEW their bodies were His temples and treated them as such!

We don’t treat our bodies as His temples. We treat our bodies as they were conditioned to be treated; by man, for man, we eat for ourselves and no one else. I am not condemning you or judging you, I’m just relaying what I’ve learned in the past four weeks and I NEED to share this. It’s not mine to own!

I feel as though I have been placed on an eternal fast. My body is being cleansed and changing, it is reacting to the way I’m treating it, in a good way. My mind is releasing all the bad and I’m basking in all the good that is left behind. I’m no longer treating my body disastrously and reaping what I’ve sown there, I’m rejoicing in treating my body as the Temple I know that it is and can only be perfected for Christ and by Christ.

Only by His stripes am I HEALED! I am healthy! I am well!!! This is my new daily mantra thanks to Chis Wark of Chris Beat Cancer. I’m listening to his 10 [module] steps to beating cancer while they’re free and his module seven of the series was the solidifying game changer for me. It was all about having faith in doing what you’re doing, BEATING CANCER without drugs and chemo, the real new-age killer! 

Change the ye to chemo and you get how I feel about chemotherapy:

Ezek. 34:4 “The diseased have ye[chemo] not strengthened, neither have ye[chemo] healed that which was sick, neither have ye[chemo] bound up that which was broken, neither have ye[chemo] brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye[chemo] sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye[chemo] ruled them.”

If I have all the faith I claim to have then I KNOW I can beat this. If Jesus healed many, He can heal me. He didn’t say, “I’ll heal you one day.” He clearly stated that he’d heal me NOW! And I believe that with every fiber of my being. The very LEAST I can do is treat my body as the perfectly constructed temple He entrusted me with. With every bite, with every breath, I honor and respect HIM! 

Praise be to God!

Rom. 8:28-31 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

Poetry Sunday ~ The Voice of the People

Jer. 17:23 “But they obeyed not, neither inclined their ear, but made their neck stiff, that they might not hear, nor receive instruction.”

The Voice of a People

We are a divided nation separated by complexion

Giving different people their own little section

We’ve taken blood and changed the dominant hue

To suit what’s befitting in all that we do.

Changing the prism that reflects joyous light   

Cannot be undone because day turns to night

Believers are the ones who bear this burden

To stand as one as all people are hurting

Sharing the Word through love can we change

the hearts of men for hatred we’ll exchange

Caring for people as we plan to take action

The light we emit gives strength to our traction

As your soul grieves God shoulders the pain

For nations, for men, the living, the slain.

Go into the world, be the difference, the spark

Bring light to a people that dwells in the dark.

*author's note: this poem is a repost

and worth it! 

To Believe or To Not Believe

Pss. 27:13” I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”

To Believe or To Not Believe

When I see this kind of rhetoric as comments across many different sites, the animosity and verbiage are the same towards Christian believer.

*not the actual screen names
nosheeplepeople says:
“You're busy playing the children's Game of Make-Believe, Christian Version, that even has your imaginary magical friend you call Yahweh playing your edition of the children's Game of Hide 'N Seek as a subplot in your Land of Pretend. Your Game of Make-Believe even includes a talking bush, a talking donkey, a talking serpent and a talking volcano.
The cartoons you watched with talking animals weren't true even though you believed they were true.”

And a response went like this:

Josh said:
If your perspective of my trust in God is nothing to you, why are you getting so worked up about it? If I simply believed that the world was made out of jello, you wouldn't give a second thought to my belief, and you'd go on about your day on to things that actually mattered, but that is not the case here, your soul is so disturbed by my trust in an all powerful Creator, that you must put in your efforts and attempts to make the disturbance in your soul, a part of my reality. I could dismiss your attempts as imaginary, and make believe, but then I'd be suppressing the subjective evidence of your existence, much like you do with the reality of God's existence.

This response was not liked by the sheeple so he tried to one up Josh by saying,

Sheeple said:
“Christians have been sold an invisible product that has an invisible cure for an invisible disease that harms an invisible soul so that the invisible soul can go to an unseen place that is invisible until they die based on a guilt trip their Pastor told them that they should have.”

Josh replied:
You know, it's funny that I address the objections or points that you make. But legit answers that I give, and points and objections to your objections that I make, never seem to be addressed. They are ignored, repressed, and then it’s on to your next objection. What is the point of trying to give an answer to your objections, when you never take them into consideration in our dialogue here? You’re not seeking the truth, you’re seeking to establish your own agenda. May God bless you, have a nice day :)

Pss 78:22 “Because they believed not in God, and trusted not in his salvation:”

I have to say, Josh had a good debate going and that his words were sound. But the sheeple guy sounded like a broken robot that I’ve heard in Yahoo comments, YouTube comments and anyplace the very word God is uttered; my God is fake and they (atheist) have no God. Sheeple continued to have this same conversation with himself.

The comments went on and on and on. I’m so used to this kind of hate towards Christians because that is what satan has himself formed out of the world. No, he didn’t magically create anything, satan has a tendency to work through the mind to bend whatever truth you may hold.

I have come to find that satan is working in EVERY faith and religion to distort and turn your thoughts away from the Creator. He puts these doubts in your mind and they fester until you are turned against God and you know what, God is okay with that because the non-believers need to be weeded out anyway. 

I’m okay with people NOT believing but don’t judge me and call my God a fairytale because of a book you might have read and not believed. If billions of people are wrong, then so be it, I’m one among many. I’m going to dissect what the sheeple wrote.

“Christians have been sold an invisible product [is he calling God a product? Sorry sheeple, God is a spiritual entity.] that has an invisible cure [cure? Where, I need one pronto!] for an invisible disease [I wish my disability was invisible!] that harms an invisible soul [I actually KNOW I have a soul because every word this person said touched me. Having never been touched, sheeple does not have a soul and if he does it is a lonely and empty one] so that the invisible soul can go to an unseen place [unseen place? Sorry buddy, I’ve SEEN heaven and tasted it and that is why I long to be there!] that is invisible until they die [not true] based on a guilt trip their Pastor told them that they should have.” [Umm, this person must’ve really been hurt by the church and a pastor because he was well versed in my Bible, KJV, but to think that everyone finds God via a church or a pastor is illogical. Did he ever think that God finds YOU? Not always the other way around?

God made His presence known to me at around age three and then I looked for Him everywhere I went as I aged. Sometimes God finds you, some people are taught about God, some are raised on the bible and attended church regularly since grade school and yes they were allowed to experience Him for themselves and make their OWN judgment call on whether to believe or not to believe. My invisible God placed within me FREE WILL to believe or not believe what I want, also! 

To the atheist, God can be explained away by scientific answers to everything that exists but to me, a believer, if God didn’t exist neither would science/scientists! You can’t have one without the other. Now my faith is invisible, the only way you see my faith is by what I project to the world. You either see it or you don’t. You have the free will to believe or to not believe. 

Prov. 14:15 “The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.”

Poetry Sunday ~ My Talent

Matt. 25:15 “And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.”

* ~ * My Talent * ~ *

God asked me to use the talents

That He has blessed me with

The sharing of the Word I hear

The truth and not a myth.

I sent the Word into the world

A message delivered to me

It was a ripple on the lake

For all the world to see.

The words they entered in my ear

And out of my fingers bled

My gift of writing words to you

Is where my soul was led.

God was pleased when he saw

My talent not gone to waste

The gentle words about His Son

I fed the world a taste.

Some people sit idly by

Saving earthly treasures

Their talents, gifts and so much more

With all their worldly pleasures.

Rise up you sleeping people

For the new world that awaits

The life that’s left behind you

As you enter heaven’s gates.

Matt. 25:23 “His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.”

Poetry Sunday ~ The Voice Of A People

Jer. 17:23 “But they obeyed not, neither inclined their ear, but made their neck stiff, that they might not hear, nor receive instruction.”

The Voice of a People

We are a divided nation separated by complexion

Giving different people their own little section

We’ve taken blood and changed the dominant hue

To suit what’s befitting in all that we do.

Changing the prism that reflects joyous light   

Cannot be undone because day turns to night

Believers are the ones who bear this burden

To stand as one as all people are hurting

Sharing the Word through love can we change

the hearts of men for hatred we’ll exchange

Caring for people as we plan to take action

The light we emit gives strength to our traction

As your soul grieves, God shoulders the pain

For nations, for men, the living, the slain.

Go into the world, be the difference, the spark

Bring light to a people that dwells in the dark.

July 4th - Independence Day

Fort McHenry - Baltimore, Maryland

Acts 22:28 “And the chief captain answered, With a great sum obtained I this freedom. And Paul said, But I was free born.”

We live in a world where every word is analyzed and every thought found to be offensive, offending at least one person in a group. I’m not perfect by any means, and I don’t know the terms that are politically correct these days so I’m sure I unintentionally offend someone somewhere at some time or another.

The other day I read a story about a Red Cross poster that offended one woman and she made a viral fit asking them to take down the offensive poster saying it was racist. They quickly apologized and took down the poster so they could continue their good work for people of all races.

Why do people feel entitled to make a statement that THEY are right and YOU are wrong? Why has the world been spinning lately to the sound of racism, sexual orientation, political correctness and almost mass hysteria when the God word is spoken?

I am a very sensitive person and when someone offends me I more than likely turn inward instead of unleashing cruelty on the offending person. I think to myself, they have to live with themselves on a daily basis and it must get awful lonely living a life looking to see what offends you in every second of the day.

People will say it is a freedom that soldiers died for but if these soldiers knew that this is what was going to be made of their country, would they do it again? Would they die so people had the freedom to be ignorant, self-serving, and greedy? Freedom of Speech I don’t feel was intended to be a freedom of being offended by everything someone speaks under the sun. 

Things that were intended to be ‘free’ are not free. Sure I have a roof over my head, but it’s not free, nor is the gas, electric, water and food. Did you know that in some states it is against the law to catch rainwater and use it to water your lawn? Rainwater - it falls freely from the sky, but the greed in the depths of pockets tries to control who and what you can use rainwater for! My brother owns his home and has to pay a ‘rainwater’ tax! 

While the Powers That Be claim they want God in the equation, there are those who are moving to take God OUT of the equation and rewrite the history that we’ve come to celebrate on this Independence Day - July 4th.

The Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4th, 1776.  Can you imagine if these words were the truth of today?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Endowed by their Creator. My how times have changed and the majority no longer believes in a Creator, or they believe in their own creator. We’ve lost sight of what this nation was built on and have become our own creators with our own rights. 

Freedom of Speech, I do not believe, meant that we could call people raving idiots because we feel like it. Right to Bear Arms – surely did not mean that we can shoot whomever we want and whoever didn’t agree with the world that WE created, we have a right to kill! What does the Declaration of Independence even mean these days? 

We say, God Bless America but what does that truly mean to each individual? We became free but enslaved the Negro. We freed the blacks and now enslave the refugee who seeks freedom for their families. We speak freedom but, in a nutshell, deny many the freedoms we speak of.

While we have cookouts, attend firework shows, and proudly fly our flag, do we remember or do we forget just what it is we’re celebrating? Do we stand behind our country and its leaders or do we flex our right of Freedom of Speech and denounce anyone who doesn’t fit our bill of standards that we’ve set for OURSELVES? Are we the people willing to run the country? Yes, we the people are willing to run the country…right into the ground so other countries can sit and laugh.

“One nation under God” should be “ONE WORLD UNDER GOD!” That would make me much prouder if we all just got along. 

Carrollton, Texas

Working Through Resentment

1 Sam. 2:3 “Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.”

Working Through Resentment

Working through resentment is a tough pill to swallow. It is so hard to just forgive and let go but this is truly what I’m trying to do, if only the pain didn’t go so deep. I feel like I’m swimming in an ocean with no life preserver and I’m sinking due to the weight of resentment laying heavy on me at this time. 

I resent having to eliminate much of my facebook feed to only see three or four friends that I KNOW aren’t out to butt kiss and show off. They’re actual people with things to say and post things of actual interest to me. I think the root of the problem is my actual resentment towards facebook for not being a friendly place anymore and just being a load of political zombie garbage that no one wants to take out, they just dump it in the ocean and swim. 

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

Who would’ve thought that Gandhi would be helping me out in this? Not me that’s for sure but I don’t judge a man because of his faith and religion and I admire a man of words, real words. But I’m sure there is someone out there ready to chide me for my choices. Oh well, such is life.

“With each opportunity before me, God presented me with a choice. I could accept His offerings, His wisdom, His grace. Or I could choose to hold onto the pain, the anger and the resentment a little longer.” 

― Sharon E. Rainey

I could go on and on of the list of the resentment war path that has curled up inside of me like a snake warming itself but seriously I’d rather work through the resentment and find a healing place where I can find solace and be free to think of my own fruition instead of having to daily build walls. But please know I do have someone ready to clean up the mess I leave behind. God is by my side all the way and I find He wants this healing from me too. He’s brought along the shovel so as we climb the mountain together we can shovel this mess over the side of a cliff and release it to the air.

I can in good conscience say this didn’t all start with the political postings that get on my last nerve, no this began when I lost my father and I’ve had a hard time dealing with the surfacing of resentment that bubbled up from the pit. 

Mrs. Peppity-Pep Goodie-two-shoes is pooped out. I’m tired, I’m done. I just can’t put on the brave face and act like nothing bothers me when here lately looking at me the wrong way will get you your head chopped off. People reach out their hand only to pull it back (fear of it being chopped off?) People know of my disability but they expect so much more than my pea brain can manage. They want to help but do nothing. How is offering to help someone by a few words helping someone, with no follow through?

My friends, I’ve said it before and I will say it time and time again that actions speak louder than words. Your actions hurt people more than help. I was already struggling not to go down into the pit but add the hate-spewers to the mix and they forced me into the pit like dunking my head under water and holding it there. Thank you. Now go on with your life pretending to be who you are not and feel good about yourself. Just know that your ignorance shines brighter than ANY scripture you can post. The bad/evil does not outweigh the good. 

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, oh yeah, I just wanna have fun. Oh yeah I just wanna have fun. ~ similar to Cyndi Lauper’s, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. 

Am I still grieving? No, my dad is at peace and I find peace in knowing he is safe and happy. Am I depressed? Yes, the world suffocates me and I’m laughed at for my beliefs although I don’t carry that laughter with me, instead I carry God with me, the very one you claim to believe but do nothing to follow. Again, ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS.

I will lower my head for now and work through my resentment. I’ll work through the anguishing pain (another thing no one understands) and I’ll go forward into the spring with dandelion bouquets sprouted on my lawn and I will appreciate their beauty for all that they are!

I will read this poem below as daily as I pray. I will hear the words in my heart and I will find a healing place. Away from you, away from the negative flow, away from the pain burning inside me. 

Godspeed…

REMEMBER THE LOTUS FLOWER

Great people will always be mocked by those

Who feel smaller than them.

A lion does not flinch at laughter coming from a hyena.

A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey.

A nightingale does not stop singing its beautiful song

At the intrusion of an annoying woodpecker.

Whenever you should doubt your self-worth, remember the lotus flower.

Even though it plunges to life from beneath the mud,

It does not allow the dirt that surrounds it

To affect its growth or beauty.

Be that lotus flower always.

Do not allow any negativity or ugliness

In your surroundings

Destroy your confidence,

Affect your growth,

Or make you question your self-worth.

It is very normal for one ugly weed

to not want to stand alone.

Remember this always.

If you were ugly,

Or just as small as they feel they are,

Then they would not feel so bitter and envious

Each and every time they are forced

To glance up at magnificently

Divine YOU.

― Suzy Kassem

They Know It's Wrong...

Ezek. 34:11 “For thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out.”

They Know It’s Wrong...

They know it’s wrong, yet they still do it, sin. Why is the moral compass so set on headed South? People know right from wrong yet they still CHOOSE to take the wrong over the right thing to do. They feel the temptation pulling on them like two magnets attracted to each other, the pull is too strong to show any kind of resistance.

Satan knows what flavor of sin to bait his hook with and time and time again man chooses to nibble on the bait instead of being the better fish and swim away. Take for example the political year. You can smell rancid satan odor in the air, you know you’re being pulled by only one thing and instead of resistance you jump in head first and go to battle with him. What does he offer that is so sweet tasting that gives you a reason not to fight?

God’s way is not an option, it is a necessity but so few feel HIS pull. They’d much rather jump in the dung heap and swim with the fetid parasites than dance with queer little angels who always seem too happy and filled with joy, choosing the higher road instead of squirming with the vermin on the lower road.

I think political years are poised so that we can really see with a bird’s eye view of just whom it is that we call a friend. I know after this election year is over I’ll still be holding on tight for the strength and armor of God to wrap around me and continue to show me the teensy bit of light that might still be left in all of them who chose to go south.

It’s not a left or right choice, it’s a north and south choice and so many people have chosen the south because of the warm comfortable fit that it gives them in an angry society. The bitter men all bundle together moving in a rampage shoulder to shoulder as they march for what THEY believe is right but if you look down upon the masses from an eagle’s perspective there is only a few here and there choosing the right direction and the masses that are headed south are too numerous to count.

From up here (yes, I’m soaring like an eagle) it looks as if God is separating the good and the evil putting them all in little Easter baskets. I think Ishtar (who Easter is derived from that everyone blindly celebrates thinking it a Christian holiday) would be very happy. 

From Wikipedia: "Woe to him whom Ishtar had honoured! The fickle goddess treated her passing lovers cruelly, and the unhappy wretches usually paid dearly for the favours heaped on them. Animals, enslaved by love, lost their native vigour: they fell into traps laid by men or were domesticated by them. 'Thou has loved the lion, mighty in strength', says the hero Gilgamesh to Ishtar, 'and thou hast dug for him seven and seven pits! Thou hast loved the steed, proud in battle, and destined him for the halter, the goad and the whip.'
Even for the gods, Ishtar's love was fatal. In her youth the goddess had loved Tammuz, god of the harvest, and—if one is to believe Gilgamesh —this love caused the death of Tammuz.”

My new year has begun (thank you, Mike, for remembering) and as usual, I have my blinders on. I don’t want to be a witness to the world collapsing all around me. I don’t want to see people that I trusted fall. I’m losing hope in the world and people in general. I always tried to see the good in people but blindly I’ve been led on and they’re just as wicked as the next person. I thought that Mardis Gras was in February, why are humans still embracing the masks?

I hold onto the tiny rays of light that do make it through to my world and is not the false pretense of the enormous amount of people who have headed south with their immoral compass. They know it’s wrong and if only they knew what truth and Light looked, tasted and smelled like, I believe the world could be a better place to live.

I think I’ll nestle up here on a branch, a Branch that was extended to the world but they were too caught up to see the beauty of it all. May God have mercy on our soul. 

Proverbs 11:18 (NIV) “The wicked man earns deceptive wages, but he who sows righteousness reaps a sure reward.”

The Pits

Concordia, Kansas

Pss. 40:2 “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”

The Pit

It saddens me when people are so filled with hate that they need to point fingers, laugh at, mock, joke and make fun of people (after posting scripture mind you). The world is so full of negative influence that people just fall right into the web of deceit.

They are misled and misguided and they are only a source of light and inspiration to make themselves look good? It puzzles me to no end how people really feel good about themselves when they KNOW they’re not following God FOR God, they follow Him for looks.

I liken the world to a pit; a pit where people are clawing at the mud, trying to find purpose in their existence and just spilling more mud because clawing is only stirring up the avalanche of clay that will soon bury them knee deep in the mire.

They seek but cannot find; they search but cannot grasp; they claw and fill their nails deep with the clinging clay. They are stretching for everything out of arms reach. They think but they don’t think fully; they aim but always miss the target.

"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real; the choice to be honest; the choice to let our true selves be seen." ~ Brené Brown

People seem to graze at the truth but never end up capturing the truth. When the truth is captured they can lay claim to their authentic self, which has eluded them while seeking out the wrong things in life.

Why do people strive for what they can’t have? Why do they poke fun at others or crave what other people have? Why do people try to claim goodness when so much is eating at them where they need to release a negative spin on almost everything they touch, read or hear?

I see people trying so hard at being good but they lose track when they try too hard. Being good and righteous should not be a chore that one undertakes, it should be a flow of natural behavior that many, all too many, do not understand. 

They would much rather tread in a mud-filled pit and try to define good and bad and cling to both. It can’t be done. I see it being done but really it should not be a way to live. You cannot serve the masters of good and bad, right and wrong, dark and light. You’ll find yourself stuck in the pit and never finding sure footing of a way to get out. 

You can try and find God, but cling to the negative juncture in the road. You will try to see the light, but offer up a dark shading umbrella for people to climb under. You pretend to offer light but secretly hide the darkness within you and that is what is shining forth, not the light within you. 

Now I see where the term, ‘the pits’ comes from, “the pits” as slang for the very worst, the most degraded and depressing example of something. To me, humanity is ‘the pits’!  They live there, breathe there, share there and cling to their own beliefs infecting others like a wildfire burning out of control with the compulsion of negativity. People of the same thought process, ‘we can serve two masters and get away with it’ feed the pits.

I myself, when I see negative reactions to things I run like a bat outta hell! I won’t allow myself to be infected so I strive to spread light and love in hopes to give the people in the pits a rope to hold onto to pull themselves out.

While they continue on the path of politicizing everything, children are being beaten to death. While they fill their bodies with food and nourishment, people are dying without a bit of kibble to bite on. While they’re off laughing and enjoying poking fun at people, there are people being battered and bullied physically.  

Before laughing at all of the crazy crud going on in the world take action, not words and memes but first, take a look inside yourself and see what is bullied and battered and why you feel the need to poke fun at others. Maybe you’ll see a way out of that pit you find yourself dwelling.

Matt. 18:33 “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?”