Light Through the Dark

Colossians 3:16 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”

Godliness with contentment is great gain

When people are hit with adversity, how they react defines who they are. When you whine and cry and want a shower of pity to fall around you, you are not shining a light on the power of Christ you’re shining a light upon yourself.

Many Christians define themselves by what they are going through, how bad their life is or isn’t, and all the pain they’ve suffered over the years, this is what defines who they are today and where they will go tomorrow.

When I was given the diagnosis of a lifetime, in that very moment of being swept away for tests upon tests, that I didn’t ask for, by the way, I shut down. For those hours in the day of being wheeled from CT scan, mammogram, biopsy etc, I was not myself, I allowed darkness to swallow me. I allowed myself briefly to be swept away in my own pity. I cried and cried, hours on end until it felt as if my eyes were bleeding.

I perceived the experience as if my very body walked through the pits of hell and it was not a place I was all too familiar with. Since becoming a Christian I had been through many fiery trials but this one was different, this one wasn’t one where everyone else who went through the pit came out alive. I needed to tighten my faith.

When I got home after leaving the pits of fire, I had time to pray, to contemplate what happened and ask, “God, what will you have me do, for YOU?” I did not ask the 'why me' scenario. I didn’t cry out that I’m not strong enough for this path set before me. My first thought was how can I shine the Light of God through this diagnosis. Sure enough, He showed me the way and that is the path you see me on today.

I’ve seen so many people face this illness over and over again. And as unique as this condition is, so is how each individual handles their treatment and all that we’re faced with.

I know of many people who will stay in the pits with fears, pain, loss, drugs, and medications, along with self-pity only because they won’t ask God, what would He have them do. When in the flames of the moment, it is just too hot and the focus is on the self and the urgency of take me out of here now, when all along we needed praise God for the chance to shine the Light on Him, not us. 

Yes, being in the pits are hell, yes it feels as if the fire will consume us, yes it feels like the pain will drown us in quicksand but rest assured if you take a chance and jump with faith, He will catch you. Another problem with people and their faith these days is it just doesn't happen quick enough, there is no patience in pain. I’m sure you look at me and say under your breath that I don’t know hell until I’ve been through what YOU’VE been through. I don’t say that lightly. What I’m saying is that your hard life is no worse than anyone else’s hard life. We could sit around for weeks and months comparing notes on who’s had it worse but is that getting anyone closer to God? Of course not because that is not where God resides in the midst of pity parties. That is not the path God chose for us as Christians.

The celebration God resides in is the one where He showers you in confetti when you’re praising and singing His name in the throes of the pits of hell. Are you afraid of dying? If you’re a Christian, do you understand there is no death, you are promised eternal life so why live your life in a pit of despair if you are carrying the promise of God? Walk boldly carrying your cross!

I think of the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and King Nebuchadnezzar asking them to worship his god. Did they throw themselves a pity party before going into the fire? NO! They didn’t fear, you know why, because their God promised them eternal life, they had nothing to lose and everything to gain by shining the Light on God and not themselves.

We’re all wandering around in a world of ‘you don’t know what I’ve been through’. Let me tell you, I can guarantee Jesus went through ten times worse. I never once heard/read that Jesus preached a woe, woe is me story. No, every step of his pain He cried out to God and glorified HIS name, not his own. While hanging on the cross he cried out, “Why has though forsaken me?” The rest is history because God did not forsake him, He gave him new life, eternal life! Breathe that in for a moment.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying the path you chose is not the right one for you, we each have a different path that is going to hopefully get us to the same destination. I have every bit of faith in where I’m headed and it surely isn’t in the pits of hell. I will walk on singing the praises and glory to God in the midst of this illness. My focus is on Him, not the bible, not the verses, not touting He said this and He said that, no, my focus is on HIM every step of the way and my sharing this with you is my way of leaving behind the path that *I* choose to walk, I choose to see the Light through the dark. 

Alleluia Amen!

1 Kgs. 20:22 “And the prophet came to the king of Israel, and said unto him, Go, strengthen thy self, and mark, and see what thou doest: for at the return of the year the king of Syria will come up against thee.”

“There are times when solitude is better than society, and silence is wiser than speech. We should be better Christians if we were more alone, waiting upon God, and gathering through meditation on His Word spiritual strength for labour in his service. We ought to muse upon the things of God because we thus get the real nutriment out of them. . . . Why is it that some Christians, although they hear many sermons, make but slow advances in the divine life? Because they neglect their closets and do not thoughtfully meditate on God's Word. They love the wheat, but they do not grind it; they would have the corn, but they will not go forth into the fields to gather it; the fruit hangs upon the tree, but they will not pluck it; the water flows at their feet, but they will not stoop to drink it. From such folly deliver us, O Lord.” 

― Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Touch the Spirit

“‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” Genesis 16:13b (NIV)

Touching the Spirit 

Well, it seems to me I’m an odd one. Why not when I think I can touch the Spirit. What you say? We’re used to just basing our faith on things unseen but what is this touching the Spirit?

My dear friend said: “We can lay our hands on spaceships, and books, iPods and plastic bottles, and we cannot touch a Spirit. HE can touch us, but we cannot touch HIM. So there's always that point of disconnect. Always that feeling of being out of step because the God we trust on we cannot touch with our hands, see with our eyes, hear with our ears.”

Gosh, when I read that my mind went exploring! It drifted off to the time I DID touch Him. I touch Him often and I assumed everyone else did also. I know after you read what I say you’ll say, Oh that, that’s not the same. It is very real to me. It is what makes me an oddball in the crowd. It makes me the crimson in a sea of yellow. 

Just so you know, while I can physically touch an iPod, I never have, the same goes for a spaceship, but my heavenly Father, oh yes, I’ve touched Him; my fingers brushed his robe, my hand held his hand, my arms wrapped around Him in an embrace but in Spirit form, it is like hugging liquid.

Ezekiel 1:26-28 “Now above the expanse that was over their heads there was something resembling a throne, like lapis lazuli in appearance; and on that which resembled a throne, high up, was a figure with the appearance of a man. Then I noticed from the appearance of His loins and upward something like glowing metal that looked like fire all around within it, and from the appearance of His loins and downward I saw something like fire; and there was a radiance around Him. As the appearance of the rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the surrounding radiance Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD And when I saw it, I fell on my face and heard a voice speaking.”

I think maybe first you need to understand who and what He is. God is Spirit not a man, not sitting up on the puffy white clouds. God is not hiding from us in the shadows, He is in plain view for all of the world to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. When you stop seeing Him as ‘up there' sitting on a majestic throne in the icy sky maybe then you can intimately feel that He is within, without, He IS dwelling in every living thing. 

Psalm 139:7-12

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You."

I think what makes me an oddball is that I believe and always have known I have more than five senses. Yeah, that just makes me weird that way. I think when you’ve died twice and then came back to wander among the human species you feel just like the astronaut who has been taken into space then brought back here to live out the duration of your life on earth, except one thing, when you die, you touch the Spirit realm.

When you touch a point of light and it streams through your fingers like liquid in your hand, or when you listen to music and it vibrates through your body like an electrical current surging through you, it is at those moments that spirit is passing through you. 

Take this statement as an example, “He can touch us but we can’t touch Him.” I mean no offense but that doesn’t make sense to me because my reality tells me otherwise. What is touch? Is it a physical, material object?

Acts 17:27-28 “that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, 'For we also are His children.'”

When my mother hugs me, I feel her love wash over me like a waterfall. I live well over a thousand miles away and I can still feel her hug in her voice, I can still feel that love spray over me. It’s no longer physical but I can feel her and know she is there. God is no different in that aspect, He can seem far away but still be within me.

1 Corinthians 3:16 “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?”

As assuredly as I can touch my arm, run my fingers through my hair, softly scan my face with my fingertips, I can feel Him there. God becomes physical when I allow my very fingertips to caress any material object that He created.

1 John 2:16 ESV “For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.”

The soil in my garden is dry and sandy. I tried many years to grow plants, veggies, food, but rarely did I get anything from my crop. I couldn’t afford to put rich soil in the ground, or fertilizers, so I had to trust the land to provide beauty for me because if the earth doesn’t provide then there is no need to plant. This year I threw my hands in the air and said I’m not planting and whatever comes up will have to be provided by God himself and I will tend the garden when it shows up. As you can see below, God showed up!

You’ll say when I tell you that my annuals come back year after year it’s because of seed drop the year before and you’d be right but still, my annuals sprouted from the ground and put on a display of beauty that I had no hand in except the watering of the garden. God touches us in the most mysterious of ways. The same can be said for us, we TOUCH Him in mysterious ways also but it is still TOUCH! 

When I stroke a leaf, I feel the swell of life surfing through my blood and I connect on levels most would never understand. The veins of a leaf are not much different than the very DNA flowing through the cells of my body. It is the sustenance of LIFE.

I think the problems with people are that they disconnect from God. They don’t see, hear and feel Him in everything. They place Him in a book, they shape Him into molds, and they form Him out of clay. He becomes a material when that was never His intention in ways to be among us. He is a spirit that dwells in us, the temple. When He looks at us, He doesn’t see us from afar, He isn’t out there in the world swirling clouds to make storms strike the earth because we were bad.

Storms form because of man's inability to restrain himself from filling the skies and land with toxins that create a mess in the atmosphere and a terrible storm is in essence, the clouds letting off backed up emissions, to put it simply, the clouds burp! 

2 Chronicles 16:9

"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars."

Zephaniah 3:17

"The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

When someone says to me that I cannot touch God, there is no way to humanly kiss the Spirit, I have to digress. Contact is in different forms not just by handling. That’s like saying a man with no arms can’t paint a portrait, I’ve seen it done. I wasn’t there for the act but I’ve witnessed the fact. I challenge each of you today to look for the Spirit WITHIN and embrace what has been there all along. He has never left you for one nano second so don't ever give up on Him. Seek and you will find.

Isaiah 52:10 “The LORD has bared His holy arm In the sight of all the nations, That all the ends of the earth may see The salvation of our God.”

Poetry Sunday ~ No Heaven in Hell

Pss. 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”

No Heaven in Hell

*a repost from 2015

There is no heaven in hell

Only a place for sin to dwell

The liars charred in flaming fire

When hell becomes their one desire.

There is no hell in heaven

Souls transform like leaven

To rise above the earthly skies

Heaven gives home to the wise.

There is no heaven in hell

The hypocrites home a shell

Tears will be shed for the dead

Who dare not cling to the Bread.

There is no hell in Heaven

Unclean souls to beckon

Roaming through the stardust light

Bid the cosmos a sweeping g’nite.

There is no heaven in hell

The party’s over it's time to quell

Thirst you crave throughout the day

Allow our Lord to Light the way!

~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~

Isa. 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there;

    it will be called the Way of Holiness;

    it will be for those who walk on that Way.

The unclean will not journey on it;

    wicked fools will not go about on it.

 No lion will be there,

    nor any ravenous beast;

    they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,

     and those the Lord has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

    everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Poetry Sunday ~ The Soul's Descent

Gen. 28:12 "And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it."

The Souls Descent

***

Plummeting downward I watched it fall;

the deep abyss the shadowed wall.

Gripped by pain and tidal emotion;

wrought with fear an inner devotion.

In this fissure of my being, 

analyzing all I'm seeing.

The foulness of vengeance lurks throughout,

seeds of hatred sprinkled about.

Where once there lay a fluent stream,

drought and hunger fuse a team.

Lust it lingers in this pit,

I try to flee...but here I sit.

Liquid anger claws at me,

my very essence squints to see.

Howls and screams ~~ a wailing sound.

crimson walls melting 'round.

Fires racing torments edge;

keeping me from realities ledge.

I struggle within this master's plane,

as wilted red walls fall down like rain.

My soul has found a resting place,

torrents of tears streaming down my face.

Trickling along like glistening sand,

I hold my pain in the palm of my hand.

Rom. 10:7 "Or, Who shall descend into the deep? (that is, to bring up Christ again from the dead.)"

*a worthy repost

from 2012

Perseverance

Proverbs 16:9 (NIV) “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”

Perseverance

Diet and stress are my new high points in life at this moment as I persevere. I’ve deleted umpteen emails that are naggingly telling me what feeds this disease, what wakes up this disease, what to eat and when to eat. I’m now on the information overload of my system. Then this plant based diet got through to me. I took a deep breath and looked it over, not hating what I was seeing.

I want to try this diet but seriously, I’m not out for a diet based on what’s a good diet. I’m looking for sustenance in my health in healing this disease! Everything looks good except the acidic aspects of some of the foods. I just want what's best for my health.

July 25th will be my sixth-month mark since this diagnosis walked into my life like a volcano and erupted shifting everything in its path forcing me to rethink some things in my life, including the food I put into my mouth. I’ve badgered unhealthy eaters; I’ve even tried to twist some arms into change but then I came to an abrupt halt of my own hand pressing on my chest telling me to hold on now, STOP!

I don’t know if this is a bad habit or just a part of who I am but I always find myself worrying about everyone else but myself. Even now with this disease, I’m more concerned with those around me, their feelings, their eating habits, their unhealthy living.

When I say I’m done, I never mean it to be I’m giving up, I mean I’m done with everyone else! I’m done worrying about tiptoeing on their love or non-love. I’m done falling apart when my feelings are hurt. I’m done being something for all and nothing for myself. I can’t make people love me and that’s okay, I love me. I have to realize that I am the most important player in MY game of life. Actually, I am the ONLY player. 

Solitaire, it’s the game I’ve played all my life. Alone. Even with my most recent upset, I keep it to myself because when I share, I’m told what I should do, what I need to do, or I get silence, nothing at all. Yeah, I know it makes it hard to make a comment, but can’t someone just say something simple like, ‘I’m here for you’ and actually be there for me? I hear I’m here for you then don’t hear another word from them for months?

I’ve been wanting to write and post but really I’ve been writing and keeping it to myself because I’m virtually tired. I’m tired of all of the information, I’m tired of defending myself, and I’m tired of having to watch what I say. My son seems to think I have a lot to live for but quite honestly, I don’t see it. I might feel differently in a month or two but right now, I’m exhausted.

I have hope that one day, maybe when I’m gone my family and loved ones will FINALLY read MY blog, MY pains, MY thoughts and realize what they REALLY lost. I’ll tell them I hurt, they didn’t care that I hurt and were partly to blame for my hurt. I can’t be any more honest than that with myself. That is how I’m healing, letting go of the ones hurting me; even if that means the ones closest in my orbit who actually had the chance to love me but chose something else over me. 

Maybe being exhausted is a good thing because I can take the time to put things into perspective, see things from a different vantage point. It’s like looking out and knowing mountains are out there but not seeing them. It’s like driving to the mountains and finally seeing the glorious peaks and knowing the climb is the end game, not just observing beautiful mountains.

When I wake and ask God, what would you have me do for you today and He says rest, I want to give Him a Joni slap and say WHAAAT? But then I remember who He is and bow down and respond, Your will be done. Can I ever rest? Why do I feel like resting is giving up when I know it is just a pause in the machine I’m oiling. I have a little more work to do then…I’m done.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and she isn’t even a real doctor or anything, she’s a PA, a Physicians Assistant. What on earth is she going to do for me except reiterate why I need drugs and go the slice and dice method? That is what they are all programmed to say. I’m reading too much into the visit before I’ve even given the poor woman a chance. If she asks me what I’m doing, I’ll be honest with her and tell her, I’m choosing the way I die.

Don’t read more into that than I offer. I’m just not choosing to go down in a fetal position, in a hospice hooked to wires and drugs. I’m choosing to enjoy the Lord’s bounty of fruits and vegetables, His gifts to us and yet too many overlook because their eye is on the sweet, meaty prize, literally.

What I am doing and all that is left for me to do is prepare for my entry into Heaven and the walk that I look forward to. I seek that mountain with the snow-capped tops. I look toward the ascent to finally being free from the earth and all of the ignorance and disrespect strewed around like confetti on New Year’s Eve. When Jesus descended into hell, I just can’t imagine there is a place lower than this planet. I’m reaching for the summit in the sky…I’ll persevere here then move on to a place where I am truly loved and surrounded by love where ALL is love. I yearn for that. Peace out!

To God Be the Glory…

Pss. 37:37 "Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace."

Pss. 30:12 "To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever."

Poetry Sunday ~ No Heaven In Hell

Image by Elaine DeBoucher

Pss. 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”

No Heaven in Hell

There is no heaven in hell

Only a place for sin to dwell

The liars charred in flaming fire

When hell becomes their one desire.

There is no hell in heaven

Souls transform like leaven

To rise above the earthly skies

Heaven gives home to the wise.

There is no heaven in hell

The hypocrites home a shell

Tears will be shed for the dead

Who dare not cling to the Bread.

There is no hell in Heaven

Unclean souls to beckon

Roaming through the stardust light

Bid the cosmos a sweeping g’nite.

There is no heaven in hell

The party’s over it's time to quell

Thirst you crave throughout the day

Allow our Lord to Light the way!

~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~

Isa. 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there;

    it will be called the Way of Holiness;

    it will be for those who walk on that Way.

The unclean will not journey on it;

    wicked fools will not go about on it.

 No lion will be there,

    nor any ravenous beast;

    they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,

     and those the Lord has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

    everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

The Legion Puzzle

James 1:21 (NIV) “Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”

This past weekend we the people saw what the people of this world are capable of these days. A young up and coming singer/active YouTuber became a victim of violence and her vicious death was overshadowed on Sunday when a mad man went into a nightclub and opened fire killing and maiming as the bullets swept the floor. 

The pieces of the puzzle are falling into place and I, out here in my own little world, am not oblivious to what is going on in the world, I’m saddened by it. I remember a time when we safely walked the darkened streets, listened and respected our parents, and enjoyed life as we knew it to be. Today, we walk the streets with hidden weapons in our purse, mace attached to our hip and extra locks on our door because of fear and hate.

Fear and hate rule the world and don’t you for one minute think politicians in any country rule. Religion does not rule, love knows not where to live, and a legion of darkness is swelling across the world in record heights ready to make this world an afterthought.

Mark 5:9 “And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.”

Are you a piece of the Legion puzzle? Do you wake finding yourself so full of rage and hate that the only way to release the hatred is to go and share asinine posts with others so they can mount their hate also?

The media throws fresh animosity on the fire by fanning the flames with whichever political party they’re affiliated with and those from the opposite side eat smores around the flame just waiting to spew new fire among the masses. A vicious cycle that can be annihilated through the power of love and prayer but people are too smothered with the Social Media scene, lies and hate that they can’t get out of the stronghold that their addiction to media-spew holds on them.

I sometimes fear that people are addicted to hate. They wake in the morning and just like their coffee they need to drink in the hate to see what mean hurtful things are out there that they can put their spin on and feed their fellow [virtual] friends. They thrive on hostile illusions with clenched fist. The world is consumed with filling themselves to the brim with hate so much so the days are darkened in every part of the world. 

I know exactly what Jesus felt like when he tried to spread love and the people laughed and scoffed, mocking Him at every turn, willingly hanging Him on the cross to die. I am the outcast that everyone laughs at because I want to share love. I’m the one not liked for not being a part of the Legion of evil hate-mongers of the world. I will not swim with the fish that are so full of bitterness that it’s getting very difficult swimming against the malignant flow.

Not many are willing to stand up for love and positivity because they’re too busy swimming in venom. They are the cancer of our society and are a part of what is destroying the world. It’s kind of ironic that people are willing to ‘share’ the scripture and follow it up with the evil angst that has a grip on them through their malicious rants. Don’t they see that THEY are part of the problem?

The more and more people that feed off what the media spoon-feeds you, you are then becoming filled with their agenda filled animosity. You are not your own person, you’re a sheep being led into slaughter and you don’t try and fight, you just join in and sling mud with them [the media] hoping you look good but you look as demented as them, you have willingly become a part of the Legion Puzzle! 

You are the darkness that hides the Light. You are the evil that permeates the soul of the human species spreading like a wildfire out of control and all that is left is the singed embers that once were known as love.

God is gone. God is dead. He isn’t alive in the many, He is alive in a few and that is why the world will come to an abrupt ending because you didn’t care. Your anger and hatred was more important than your salvation. Millions share your ill will and like lava, the moving flow will destroy all it comes in contact with.

I’m alone. I sit and watch the flames of demons lick the faces of people I once loved and devour them. I watch as the world is pulled into the sweaty palm of satan and squeezed for their very last breath of pure air that they can no longer taste. I look and see people being chewed and spit out of the black teeth that have bit them and left a mark on their soul. Ravaged is the human race that has become victims of the beast. You are now a piece of the Legion Puzzle fitting in nicely where satan would have you placed.

Awake you sleeping nation!

Rev. 6: [1] And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.
[2] And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.
[3] And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see.
[4] And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.
[5] And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.
[6] And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.
[7] And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
[8] And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
[9] And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held:
[10] And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?

MTOC ~ Day Three ~ Choice

“When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticism, misguided opinions, walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude.” ~ Dodinsky

I have laid my past to rest and crawled out of the darkened pit with my fingernails intact as well as my dignity. While I could have lashed out at my sister for her insensitive ignorant remarks toward me, my son and my husband, I CHOSE the higher road and continue on with my life that I have built for myself. Not with the help of any blood family members who remain anchors that weigh me down. I now look to my Spiritual family to lift me up on a daily basis. 

We ALL have a choice and while some will cling to the bitterness that shapes their life, I CHOOSE not to allow anger and bitterness to define who I am now. THAT my friends is God in me. It isn’t any scientific psychological mumbo jumbo, nope it’s that God mumbo jumbo that I keep telling people about. 

I have a friend who over reacted to something she had seen. Apparently Kirk Cameron is doing a tour giving HIS testimony of Christ. While he has the star quality that I don’t have, his words are going to be faced with pretty much the same criticism I’m faced with in my testimony. Us God people are just freaks of nature. I along with millions, and possibly billions are all wrong and all freaks of this ‘God’ we speak of. 

What did Kirk Cameron say that ticked my friend off? 

He said, "Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband's lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband," he says. "When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage."

She raged on, (I won’t share her entire post for privacy reasons) but this is some of what she said:

“If this is what being Christian means, then I don't want any part of it.” 

What she said, loosely, is that she heard Cameron say that women are to be servant slaves to their husband. His sister Candace said that she agreed with Kirk and is submissive to HER husband but what my friend missed was the CHOICE of the entire message. I think she missed the point that we, men AND women, are to love, honor, respect and cherish one another. Not be slaves but to honor one another.

I don’t judge her for her opinion on the matter because it is what I see as a national problem with the message that Jesus was trying to convey. People mix the Old Testament with the New Testament and make confetti of the words and dish out what suits them. They dissect the word to fit into their little world, they use the words like wet clay and try to form those words into a belief system that suits or doesn’t suit them. To ME, it looks like they’ve made an ashtray out of the Word of God.

They try going to church but again, they’re met with confetti and don’t understand what is being said. They’re looked over, gawked at and made to feel like an outsider so they flee from the church never to return. They hear people TALK about the Word of God but for some reason, they don’t SEE the word of God working in people. Is that because the Bible bearers ACTIONS are not equal to what they are saying? 

It’s a fine line sure, but also, it is a matter of CHOICE. When you look at the starry sky at night lit up like diamonds scattered on a sunny beach do you see a disorderly array of stars or do you see things like Cassiopeia, Orion or the Pleiades hiding within the astrological signs? This is the same thing when people hear the Word of God or people speak of the word of God. Others hear a disorganized message or they hear a divinely orchestrated message hidden in there. 

Last year when my dad passed away, I couldn’t make it back home and it gripped me for months, the guilt, the hurt, the suffering pangs I felt. My sister in her obvious dislike for me (I’m not going to pretend otherwise) had said, “Well YOU made the choice to leave here!” I rightfully said, “Yes, yes I did, I chose LIFE over death.”

I had suffered back home and nearly lost my life on more occasions than one, so leaving my husband WAS a choice of mine, a CHOICE of survival. Those people enslaved me and kept me bound by their misfit whims of dysfunction and I just assumed that that is how life was supposed to be. I prayed often for deliverance from the hell I was entombed in. 

It wasn’t until I found freedom in the land of Texas was I able to see the outside world and after months of suffering anxiety attacks nightly, running off hyperventilating on the dark streets of Texas, I slowly got a grip on what reality looked like. My years and years of prayers were finally answered; I was free from enslavement. 

God put me on a path and only because my choice was Him did my world start to turn around and I saw the light of day. When I tell people of Christ, it isn’t from a high and mighty pedestal, it isn’t from a wealthy sculpted upbringing, it isn’t from being shaped by a defective family, no, it is from a woman who CHOSE God over living to the conformity of man. Yes, the same men who wrote the Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments. 

I live for the mysteries of God. You’re right people, the Bible is a bunch  of words, supposedly the divine intervention of God Himself, but it isn’t until you CHOOSE the Holy Spirit to live IN you will you ever grasp the meaning of one word or message from the Holy Bible. 

Acts 15:7 “And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.”

Change

Proverbs 2:1-5 (NIV) "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God."

Today is the day I will renounce my Christian label. Before you all go ballistic on me, allow me to explain. The label Christian means absolutely nothing these days. People toss the word around like a basketball; dribble it here, toss it there. 

Definition of renounce (before vocab nazi’s attack): to give up or put aside voluntarily: to renounce worldly pleasures.
2. to give up by formal declaration:

As I’ve been working through some tough things lately, I’ve sure been hit hard with a realization lately; I need the courage to let go of what I can’t change. I can’t change my past I accept that. I can’t change humans I have to accept that also. 

These humans are the very reason I will no longer call myself Christian. They have me struggling with my faith and it doesn’t seem fair to me. I have an extremely strong faith, a viable strength in the Lord, and an apparently different way of seeing things.

They (Christians) drink because hey, Jesus drank wine so it must be okay. Well to me, I don’t believe he drank a beer in His life and definitely don’t see Him nipping at some mushrooms in the garden before being tempted by satan. Was it all a hallucinating experience for Him and He just wish-washed the truth?

I wanna drink.  Thanks Christians.

They also curse, and that is okay too because I guess Jesus rode an ass so everyone must get the symbolization that we’re all asses? 

I wanna curse. Thanks Christians.

Is this a lie?

Ephesians 5:4 ESV “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

So is it okay to joke and use crude vulgar language. All in fun, right Christians? 

More lies?

James 1:26 ESV “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.”

I struggle. Thanks Christians.

I’m beginning to think hell is the better place to end up when I die. Heaven is going to be full of people cursing, drinking, laughing at people cursing and drinking and maybe THIS is not where I want to end up. Christians believe they’re all going to heaven and these same Christians are the drinkers and cursers. Are they all going to change AFTER they get into heaven? Hmm...

I’m confused. Thanks Christians.

I will now call myself a Follower of Christ. Not a follower of humans who fill people with lies, have no remorse, have no character and basically they have a wilted soul. I can only pray for them in their disillusionment. I cannot change THEM I can only change ME! And this is what I strive for!

Romans 12:2 ESV “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Thank you Jesus! 

Now this is a post not many will like, maybe because of the truth it holds? My point is this I can call myself a Christian but it doesn’t mean I AM one. Just as I can call myself a butterfly but until I CHANGE from a caterpillar, I am just a caterpillar.

Thank you God! For making me, ME!

Psalm 19:14 ESV “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

The Pits

Concordia, Kansas

Pss. 40:2 “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”

The Pit

It saddens me when people are so filled with hate that they need to point fingers, laugh at, mock, joke and make fun of people (after posting scripture mind you). The world is so full of negative influence that people just fall right into the web of deceit.

They are misled and misguided and they are only a source of light and inspiration to make themselves look good? It puzzles me to no end how people really feel good about themselves when they KNOW they’re not following God FOR God, they follow Him for looks.

I liken the world to a pit; a pit where people are clawing at the mud, trying to find purpose in their existence and just spilling more mud because clawing is only stirring up the avalanche of clay that will soon bury them knee deep in the mire.

They seek but cannot find; they search but cannot grasp; they claw and fill their nails deep with the clinging clay. They are stretching for everything out of arms reach. They think but they don’t think fully; they aim but always miss the target.

"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real; the choice to be honest; the choice to let our true selves be seen." ~ Brené Brown

People seem to graze at the truth but never end up capturing the truth. When the truth is captured they can lay claim to their authentic self, which has eluded them while seeking out the wrong things in life.

Why do people strive for what they can’t have? Why do they poke fun at others or crave what other people have? Why do people try to claim goodness when so much is eating at them where they need to release a negative spin on almost everything they touch, read or hear?

I see people trying so hard at being good but they lose track when they try too hard. Being good and righteous should not be a chore that one undertakes, it should be a flow of natural behavior that many, all too many, do not understand. 

They would much rather tread in a mud-filled pit and try to define good and bad and cling to both. It can’t be done. I see it being done but really it should not be a way to live. You cannot serve the masters of good and bad, right and wrong, dark and light. You’ll find yourself stuck in the pit and never finding sure footing of a way to get out. 

You can try and find God, but cling to the negative juncture in the road. You will try to see the light, but offer up a dark shading umbrella for people to climb under. You pretend to offer light but secretly hide the darkness within you and that is what is shining forth, not the light within you. 

Now I see where the term, ‘the pits’ comes from, “the pits” as slang for the very worst, the most degraded and depressing example of something. To me, humanity is ‘the pits’!  They live there, breathe there, share there and cling to their own beliefs infecting others like a wildfire burning out of control with the compulsion of negativity. People of the same thought process, ‘we can serve two masters and get away with it’ feed the pits.

I myself, when I see negative reactions to things I run like a bat outta hell! I won’t allow myself to be infected so I strive to spread light and love in hopes to give the people in the pits a rope to hold onto to pull themselves out.

While they continue on the path of politicizing everything, children are being beaten to death. While they fill their bodies with food and nourishment, people are dying without a bit of kibble to bite on. While they’re off laughing and enjoying poking fun at people, there are people being battered and bullied physically.  

Before laughing at all of the crazy crud going on in the world take action, not words and memes but first, take a look inside yourself and see what is bullied and battered and why you feel the need to poke fun at others. Maybe you’ll see a way out of that pit you find yourself dwelling.

Matt. 18:33 “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?”

What's Going on?

Matt. 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

What’s Going On?

I wake in the morning and say my prayers. I’m into a serious prayerful phase. While that is the normal me anyway, here lately my prayerful ways have been more intense. After my prayers I go to the news and see what it has to say.

I skip over all the political jargon because let’s face it the government is a mess. Do we really need to whine and whine and do nothing about it? When is the last time YOU wrote to your leaders? Last time you went to a protest? When is the last time you actively sought change in the US? Besides a facebook rant, have you done anything? Okay then, I forego the political agenda’s of the day because I don’t see a point. I do nothing so I have nothing to say on the matter.

While I’m very vocal about ME, and not liking the blood, gore and sleaze in movies, the news is full enough of all the catastrophes movies only dream of. What’s going on? A two-year old is killed walking with his dog on railroad tracks; a twenty-two tear old burns her newborn baby to death on the side of the road, telling an onlooker that it was dog feces; a five year old shoots his infant brother lying in the crib; a two-year old shoots and kills his mother in a Walmart after finding her gun hidden in her purse!

Again I say, what’s going on? We live in an abusive, negligent, selfish, trigger-happy nation. I’m all for the right to bear arms but I’m also for the right to act responsibility while bearing those arms. We are not a responsible nation! We can’t even drive responsibly let alone have an unattended firearm within reach of a child.

Then there’s the children. We’re off multiplying like rabbits and then dispose of the responsibility of taking care of these children, tossing them out into society and allowing a pack of wolves to raise them or people choose to abuse and kill them. And we wonder why society is the way it is?

Then there’s the Earth. You know, that planet hanging out there in the solar system sustaining life? Yeah, that’s us! We’re out here destroying the very thing that sustains us and we’re doing a bang up job of keeping it spinning.

The scientists have told us what we want to hear. Their opinion is just that, an opinion, not fact. We cling to their words no different than we hold onto the lies the media feeds us. We’re going downhill in a bobsled and we have no brakes in place.

                 

Last night as I sat star gazing this January evening, I heard the sounds of…crickets. Granted it has been warm for January, crickets and flies are a fact that I see and hear with my own eyes and ear; while I know this just shouldn’t be happening.

I look at the world and see it falling down the side of a mountain and I can do nothing to stop the descent. I think I’d rather believe in the dinosaurs building the pyramids than to face the fact that we’re going to hell in a handbag.

Oh well, just another day on the planet earth. What’s going on? You be the judge.

Matt. 24:5-11 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.
And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.
For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
All these are the beginning of sorrows.
Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.
And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

 

 

Poetry Sunday ~ Hell fires Dome

Proverbs 8:17  I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

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Hell fires Dome
(c) Joni Zipp

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The enemy lurks behind the veil
inhales your light to no avail;
clawing at the innocent shell
sucking dry your lifelong well.

Goodness seeps from your veins
he drinks it in like springtime rains.
Wearing the cloth you labored for
slowly he shreds everything pure.

Tapping and taunting as if to steal
the very core of all that's real.
His lies are painted, a beautiful array
you know this isn’t the only way.

Succumb to pain that dries the soul;
alleviate all that makes you whole
believe the lies the enemy shows
bonds will break as everyone knows.

Rise up in all the glorious light
love withstands the evil ones plight.
Stand tall and proud for all you are,
with Godly presence you’re going far.

Slice the enemy, send him home
to the spawn of hell fires dome.
Crash no more this earthly treasure
For God remains your one true pleasure!

All rights reserved: copyright © Joni  Zipp