Freaky Friday

Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.
Dale E. Turner
***

Ever have ‘one of those days’ ??? Well it seems here lately, I’ve had a few of those days, right in a row.

Nothing bad or anything, just crazy kind of weird?  I’m a person of routine. I like my routine, try to stick to my routine and when something comes up at the last minute, it kind of throws me off kilter. Not to mention the wind hampering outside activities.

As writer’s we remain private people. We want to share our stories but not our lives, right? Write! I’m always sharing my story; the good the bad and the downright ugly. Go ahead, ask me a question and I’ll be bluntly honest.

This is what we need to do as writer’s penning a novel. We can’t skirt around an issue that a character is having; we need to tackle a situation head on. Change is part of the inevitable with our story, so be sure to give said character a lot of bumps to maneuver over, hills to climb, and situations that he/she can get out of, or at least die trying.

Parts of us will flow into our characters. Pieces of our past will be sifted into the novel or short story. We can’t abandon the fact of all we know and have gained in our life, maybe even things that are not in our lives, we as writers can touch on.  Writing about killing someone for instance, would be a hard situation for me to write, but the good news is, I’ve read enough of King and Koontz to know how it is done.

I think Koontz is an avid fan of weaponry. He can give gripping detail down to the last pin of a revolver or handgun. He can enhance a weapon, even if it can’t be enhanced logically, he can make the weapon become a plausible piece of artillery. And that said piece, will be integral in the story (or not) but the man knows how to delve into the deepest darkest part of the human psyche.

As a writer I can’t dance around an issue because I don’t know it. This is where the research of any weapons, cars, places is essential to bringing your story into the hands of your readers. If you research and literally know your stuff, the reader can visualize the scene more clearly thus giving your story a reality, bringing it to life.

Freaky Fridays can happen anywhere to anyone...change is inevitable, and life happens.
Why not make some lemonade? :)

Funny Friday

Welcome to Funny Friday (or not so funny) Mild Language. Aww, just this once!

PRINCIPALITIES FOR WRITING by Janice Howard

We all know finding work can be challenging, but recently, GURU added a new slant when it offered writers a project for "flash product demons." But not to be outdone, Job Sleuth would like a writer who can "work with all the angels." So take your pick, folks... the battle between good and evil is just waiting for that next proposal!

How the media would handle the end of the world

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.

Wall Street Journal: Dow Jones Plummets as World Ends.

National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, Together Again.

Inc. Magazine: 10 Ways You Can Profit From the Apocalypse.

Rolling Stone: The Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.

Sports Illustrated: Game Over.

Playboy: Girls of the Apocalypse.

Lady's Home Journal: Lose 10 Pounds by Judgment Day with Our New "Armageddon" Diet!

TV Guide: Death and Damnation: Nielson Ratings Soar!

Discover Magazine: How will the extinction of all life as we know it affect the way we view the cosmos?

Microsoft Systems Journal: Netscape Loses Market Share.

Microsoft's Web Site: If you don't experience the rapture, DOWNLOAD software patch RAPT777.EXE.

America OnLine: System temporarily down. Try calling back in 15 minutes.

Q. How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Ten. One to change it; nine to think they could have done it better.

Wilma and her husband Barney, a hard-working writer, go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep.The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!!Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!!and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells:IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

Freaky Friday

Funny Friday plows forward to tickle your funnybone!

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.
Last, but not least, it was the editor's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch" replied the editor, "the deadline for tomorrow's newspaper is in about ten hours.

Excellent Writing Advice

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity.
Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency and a concatenated consistency.
Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations.
Let your extemporaneous descants and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast.
Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy and vain vapid verbosity.

If you are really interested to know, the above means: "Be brief and don't use big words."

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Enjoy your day and smile at someone...they'll wonder what you're thinking.

Freaky Funny Friday

With Freaky Funny Friday I try to bring a smile to the board. Everyone needs a smile in their life otherwise life might look too serious. Keep smiling and enjoy your day! TGIF~ joni

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.
"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.


Ode to the Spell Check ~~author unknown

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It cam with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect awl the weigh

My chequer tolled me sew!