The Drama of it All...

1 Sam. 2:3 Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.
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What’s in a word? Okay jokesters, besides letters!

Words can hurt, heal, make you smile and even garner a chuckle. This weekend was full of words for me. I posted my quotations on Saturday, words that linger in my soul even after I’ve read them. Then I posted my poem yesterday that was an expression of how my heart felt after releasing my son into this big bad world, trusting in God to carry him.

I thought I’d pop over into my class and see what was going on with the students, who are in their sixth week and ready to post their last lesson. I was shocked, to say the least that someone was degrading me, again.

Last session someone came down hard on me for not being ‘more specific’ in my lesson tips. They went on and asked about my qualifications and other mean and hurtful things. So when this post was on my board yesterday after the long hard week of separation from Adam, I was stunned.

I’ve had such a good run at f2k this session. I’ve stayed out of many discussions, left the bad seeds to their own fruition, in hopes someone else would stand up and say, “Hey, wait a minute.”

Ron did not agree with my answer to a question back in the beginning of f2k. He chose NOW to berate, belittle and to me, come down pretty hard on me and he even dragged another person into his rant, speaking FOR that person mind you. The person in question quickly stated that they would not be a part of his crappola, and that I, joni, and benning were nothing but helpful to them.

I couldn’t believe it. Not again is all that I could think of. Granted I’m a dramatic person, I’m a writer and drama is an effortless release for me. I decided to go to the main board and turn in my resignation. Sure it is a volunteer position, but I just wanted Bob to know how sorry I was for bringing this to f2k. I would bow out quietly and be on my way.

Well hold your horses! The response was heartfelt pleas of, “Don’t go!” Bob wrote:

“You've been an integral part of F2K's success over the years. I'd also like to remind everyone that F2K Mentors volunteer their time to help aspiring and experienced writers. Though there will always be differences of opinion, no good can come from escalating it to a personal level. WVU's 15 year history is built on a foundation of common interests, tolerance, respect and more importantly, empathy toward our fellow writers; as we move into the new social format, other challenges will emerge, but they will strengthen rather than change these values.”

In other words. You’re STAYING! I don’t need to defend my opinion of a sentence. We all see things differently and feel things differently. I can disagree with you and you me, but don’t degrade me, I am too good a person for that kind of treatment.

Respect me, and I’ll respect you. Disrespect me...and I’ll still respect you!

Thought-filled Thursday

Rev. 12: 11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
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Drama! Drama! drama! I attract drama like a bee to honey, like a bird to a flower, like rain to the ground. It follows me, catches up to me, and splatters all over my face.

Yesterday, my room got a visit by the ‘principal’ at f2k. You see, the drama was so loud, it made the principal come down and reprimand us. I lowered my head in shame because I have higher standards than being relinquished to bitterness, and the drama brought out emotions I just as soon forget were ever brewed inside of me.

Anna assumed no one was watching. She peeked around the corner and like a child in a movie, she slung mud, throwing it at whoever walked by. She had said in one of her responses, “Oh, I’m evil today.” And sure enough, that is the only place that the dark crap of life can come from, you know who, the Dark One.

F2K is normally a quiet, writer filled, peace-has-washed-over me site. We never have drama, but occasionally we get a person who can not handle rules, feels left out, throws spitballs at the teacher, stomps her feet loud enough for everyone to hear, bullies a few people on her way OUT the door. And yes the principal will throw out anyone who disrupts the course of the smooth running waters.

I was hurt in the crossfire mind you, of  all the drama. How can you not get your sleeve ripped off when someone says, “You show poor leadership.” When anyone who knows me, knows otherwise. How can your jeans manage not to shred, when someone says, “You can’t spell, what kind of leader is that?” OUCH! Now I KNOW that one is not true because I am one of the BEST spellers I know. A typo is not bad spelling, it’s poor editing. :)

Then there was the appearance of the principal, standing in the doorway. His silhouette made him appear ten feet tall, and the shadow, the long sinuous shadow creeped along the floor like moss. I shivered, shuddered, blinked then gulped. He arrived.

That was the drama in the virtual world. There was drama in my reality too but I don’t have time for that. I have to move on, raise my chin, walk away proud knowing not one curse word left my mouth. My bitterness is only a taste that will dissipate, nothing more, nothing less. I go on...