My Lil Primrose

Matt. 5:6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

My Lil Primrose

It’s been a little over a month now since my diagnosis of the illness. January 25th will be forever etched in my mind but as February 25th came and went I almost forgot it had been a month that had passed and seemed like this crud had slithered into my body quite some time ago.

Well, actually it has resided in me for quite some time. The lump became known in December of that terrible year of 2015 that I had three deaths in the family, including my father. It was a tiny and small lump and I paid it no mind thinking it was just a cyst of some sort. They happen sometimes when you’re pre-menopausal. 

Everybody says don’t go to google, so I didn’t because google searches always lead to death in some way, so I steered clear as I mended from the losses. I knew the lump had to be taken care of but it was not in my hands, God held this the entire time and made the moves necessary for it to be diagnosed when the timing was perfect.

People probably wonder if I feared the imminent diagnosis and I can say, no, not really. I’m sure some small part of fear was lurking in there somewhere but when you’ve overcome so many hurdles like I have in my life, you kind of pretty much place the fear in God’s hands, have faith and trust Him with where everything goes.  

What I do fear is a system that tries to force their self-righteous indignation down my throat. A friend reminded me that I am doing battle with worldly-minded people and it hit me, that’s exactly what these doctors are, worldly-minded trying to push their worldly beliefs on me, the weak at the moment child of God. I stood up, looked in the mirror and repeated what I said to myself out loud, “I AM A CHILD OF GOD.” 

I remember a couple years back when I had to have my teeth pulled and the dentist gave me nothing for pain and no antibiotics to go home with to care for myself. He just told me to ‘gargle with salt water and let the body heal thyself’. Kind of shocking, eh? A doctor who don’t believe in pacifying his patients with drugs?

This was around the time I was diagnosed with lower lumbar facet joint arthritis. I believe this was the time that the c-cells were awakened. No, I’m not one hundred percent sure, they could have been triggered by the loss of my daughter thirteen years ago and they just slowly progressed to where I was most weak. All my research this month has pointed to stress and fear being underlying culprits in the c-cells stretching, yawning, then attacking! A one-two punch, so to speak. The above link is an informative six-part series on healing cancer. 

Throughout these years, I’ve been healing, growing and mending. I’ve grown in my faith, become stronger in my belief, and held fast to the garments of Christ's robe dangling in my face as I crawl toward Him to get one gentle touch. 

I’m reminded of the temptation of Christ where Jesus was being tempted by satan. He offered him the world, just like my doctors are offering me, life, a precious few years added to my life if I walk with them and go to their healing place. This diagnosis is my temptation, this is where they instill fear in me so I walk with them, but no, I am reminded of Jesus’ words.

Matt. 4: 1-11 “Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred. And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.”

As everyone knows me and who has read my blog over the years, they know I’ve done a Lenten series. This year I was distracted from that with this illness but lo, look at the past month. I have somewhat been forced to fast; no carbs and no sugar. I am being weakened by the doctor's dire prognosis, but I AM STRONG, I need you to know that THIS is my temptation! This is satan trying to lure me into his pit and my only strength is coming from the spiritual family that God has chosen to surround me with prayer at this time and Jesus Himself being the only set of footprints I see on the shore of healing. 

Primrose. You may remember a month ago my mother-in-law coming out to see me; she was bearing a gift of the primrose plant. It was a sad little plant wilting and hanging low. My MIL informed me the next day that she was sorry the plant looked so sad and she’d have to replace the little fella. I told her not to worry about, this lil guy was going to be just fine! 

Each day as its leaves curled and petals fell from the stem I tended the small tender plant with sunshine, love, and care. As I write today my lil survivor is now the beauty I knew it would be. He overcame the sadness with love and care and now has NEW flowers to show me as it basks in the Son! 

My visit to the Dollar Store this weekend found me purchasing a door hanger that said, 

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” I BELIEVE in tomorrow!

God bless each and every one of you as you are faced with your own temptations and know that the Lord your God is with you all the way! 

Matt. 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

I'm Back... With a Purpose

Micah 6:8  “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

I’m Back... With a Purpose

In the midst of my grief I found something. It was there all the time I just needed to grab hold of all that I knew I had in me and that is my FAITH! One to never let me down, God set upon me a new mission, one that I had strayed from but He brought me back through my faith.

Yesterday’s sermon was about the future and knowing your purpose in the here and now. It really touched me because I was snuggling up to my grief and looking for a promise in my tears. As usual I found it in a sermon cradled among truth.

Sometimes people feel scared, afraid they’re not doing all they can in the Lord’s eyes whether a florist, a doctor, a gardener or a janitor. Sometimes people feel that between resting on Sunday and going back to work on Monday is just a mundane chore they do to keep food on their plate. Really? You feel so unworthy that that is all you feel your purpose is in life? To put food on the table and pay bills?

If in the mundane you see purpose, your inner essence and being will come to life like a newly planted spring garden. The florist feels like it is just a job organizing and arranging the flowers while making money, but in essence of completing her purpose she is touching the lives of other people. How you might ask? When you’re lying in the hospital and a flower arrives, how does that make you feel? You’re not thinking of the person who is serving a purpose in bringing that arrangement to life. Instead you’re smiling and feeling good! This person was touched by the florist and didn’t even give her a second thought. At a funeral, the florist is reaching into your realm and making you feel love and beauty surround you in a dark moment of despair.

How about the nurse? Are you thinking of her dedication to serving her purpose in life? No, I imagine all you are thinking about is her poking and prodding and how annoying it is to lose control of YOU and YOUR faculties. The nurse is serving her purpose in bringing you your medical needs and see that you are comfortable on this, as you see it, demeaning journey.

How about the janitor? Are you thinking of their job as fulfilling a purpose? Of course not, again you’re thinking of you and how you’re just glad that there is toilet paper on the TP holder after you’re done your business. You don’t think of anyone as fulfilling a purpose but as I see it, we’re all here fulfilling the purpose that God has set for us.

Sometimes people feel that they’re not doing enough in fulfilling their purpose and get emotionally drained thinking what next? What will I do? They worry needlessly when they should take their need to God and He WILL fulfill your need in serving His purpose. Remember, He put you here for a reason and that is to serve His purpose.

When people get distracted from their purpose they begin to lose faith. They don’t want something higher than themselves controlling what their purpose is so they wander into selfishness and hold tightly to materialistic views and they go on in life serving nothing but their ego.

MY purpose is to write. Even when I feel like my writing isn’t reaching out to someone, that one person will let me know that I’ve reached into his or her heart in some way and thus fulfilling my purpose. I lost sight of that for a while thinking there was really no reason to write but in the layers of grief I found my writing to not only be essential to the my healing but to be substantial in finding my purpose while helping others.

I serve God through my writing. He blessed me with the talent to write. He had me training on many levels all of my life in my cleaning houses for those who were often too disabled to do it for themselves, taking care of the elderly when they couldn’t nurse themselves, tending to the lonely widow who just needed friendship. God used me so my heart would know and understand compassion for all and then my writing would be used to relay a message of the promise that He had shown to me.

I’ve spent enough time in my grief and now it is time to fulfill my purpose in serving God. You do know that if you are not serving God, you are only serving yourself? We live in the ‘all about me’ generation and people are not so happy with the sun not rising for THEM! The world should turn and bow for THEM. They seek ‘things’ outside getting lost in pain and sorrow and never look at the healing that is right there on the inside waiting for them to embrace.

We all have a purpose in this life and until you understand what the purpose is and that EVERY single person has one, maybe the world would change. We can’t let evil scare us into not seeing a reason for everything under the sun.

Jesus was a carpenter for most of His life. Do you think he sat there twiddling his thumbs asking God what his purpose was in life? I don’t think so, he knew God was shaping him into a man who would carve out a nation, build a world of love out of the sands of time, hammer into the people a voice that would be heard for millennia, seal the message and purpose with nails so that the blood would set us free. Once Jesus understood His purpose, His life was fulfilled.

Luke. 21:34 And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.

Testimony

Pss. 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.

Why all the testimonies lately? I guess because it is what God is calling His people to do. My friend Debbie gives a testimony as she has fought and is winning the battle with breast cancer. Tom had a testimony about his heater and had it happened just two days later, he’d be sitting in the cold unable to fix what was broken. (he’s having surgery immobilizing him for days.)  My friend Steve is also battling and winning the fight with cancer, and I myself have given testimony to the many blessings the Lord has put in my life. And the list goes on.

A testimony of Christ is a Christian, baring his/her soul of their struggles and showing you, possibly a non-believer, how He has worked victoriously in our lives.

Take for instance Sunday. We made it to church on Sunday (read previous posts.) What I left out of the already 800 word post was this:

We went to a beautiful service but when we walked out to the car, there under the car was a puddle.

“Is that supposed to be there? Or is it from another car?” I so blondely asked.

“Yes honey.” Is the smart response I got.

I could SEE it was from our car, but we got in, it started right up and off we drove. Church is about 20 –25 miles from home and as we pulled into our driveway, went to park, it just conked right out. It started right back up to be put in its place, but I was amazed that God had gotten us to our front door before the car conked out.

What a blessing, what a testimony.

I’m in a Prayer Partner group on facebook and while many are in need of prayer, it is always later related by a testimony of just HOW those prayers were answered. I’m sensing a thread that ties the two together. Prayer request ---> Prayers go out ---> Prayers answered ---> testimony. Prayer for a struggling soul ---> Prayers go out --- > Prayers answered --- > Testimony. It goes on and on.

It’s as if God is calling His people to prayer. I know quite a few people of different religions and the one thing that bonds those religions together is prayer. And through prayer healing occurs.

Now back to the car. Steven called his brother, the mechanic and asked him if he could look at it. Well that meant a trip, in the car, to Axtel. His brother, always ready to help his lil bro out said, “Sure bring it out.”

His brother was off on Thursday so that is when Steven loaded up the car with water and anti-freeze, bright and early because Steven had to be into work at 11. I loaded up on the prayer because I knew it was a good 20-25 miles from where we are.

Steven called at ten o'clock from Kearney and asked me to come take him to work. I had the truck, so off in the nasty wind I road. The car had made it to Axtel AND into Kearney where it now sits, I say ‘hospitalized’ (at a garage.)

Okay, so I haven’t got my miracle car fixed and who knows where the money will come from, but I do know, the radiator had a hole in it, needs to be replaced and it won’t be home from the ‘hospital’ until Tuesday. It’s okay, my car will be fine and the Lord will provide as He always does. My full testimony will come when I receive the message as to why and what reason the car got sick at this time.

The point of my story is this, God calls us to give testimony to all the glory and blessings in our life so that maybe just one person might be touched and also want to plant a seed. That’s what God’s gift to us is all about; it isn’t just about the cross and what was done to save us, it is about what is in the here and now and what we can DO to save others and possibly give them hope in their tomorrow. Get it?

The cross is OURS to bear. We either take it on or just walk, no seeds, no testimony, just walk. Maybe that is what your faith is all about to you, just walking and waiting for heaven. Me, I like to think of my faith as a seed that I plant; I carry the cross to watch those around me bloom!

He did it for me, it’s the LEAST and I do mean LEAST I can do for Him.

Pss. 119: 88 Quicken me after thy lovingkindness; so shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth.

Writing Effects...

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2

***

Did you know that writing has an affect on people? You didn’t? Well come on, you’re reading this, you’re going to gather all the info that I put in my post and use it or lose it. Either way you walk away affected by what was said here.

I recently had the pleasure of encountering yet another online hoax. It seems face book is always being pounded on with one hit after another for these hoax’s. Those spam/ forwarding emails are old news; now that nobody opens them or reads them and believes that they’re going to get millions from Bill Gates, or die because they didn’t send it to 13 of their friends. Or that their friend is stuck in England needing money FAST!

The recent uproar in hoax’s was the cartoon pic change as an avatar on FB. My blind friends are fortunate enough to be spared these childish antics, but many, and I mean many, jumped on the bandwagon of following what the words told them, all to support child abuse. Sure people have the best intentions when following these things but really, can an avatar STOP child abuse, or fight the cause, or even HELP the cause? How silly! 

The hoax debunked!

If people are so willing to end child abuse, why not support actual charities that ASSIST in aiding children of child abuse? Oh, because it might take money away from you? Are you so greedy that the thought of giving even one dollar to assist in the cause scares you? But you’ll change your avatar and think that this is helping?

Eph. 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:[9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
 
The hoax bubble burst when people started posting that the group responsible for this uproar in cartoon characters was really pedophile’s wanting a chance to get in on the friendships that so many have come to enjoy on facebook, especially unsupervised children. So here we have someone wanting you to support a cause, then something turning it into a dark and evil cause that you’re actually supporting. When in actuality, you are just being a follower. Then the snopes site says even the pedophile post was a hoax! Even the local news reported the pedi- post as ‘truth’!!!
 
Come on, this world is just getting too crazy. I like the internet, but people,not just writers, real human beings, want to ruin it for us, and it is all through the written word!

What it all boils down to is writing affects the reader, in one way, shape or form, the reader is walking away with a feeling of either despair, fear, paranoia, or embarrassment. I like them to walk away with joy, but we writer’s can’t always hit our mark.  There will always be ten naysayers and snakes lurking where one positive seed is planted. 

Remember this next time you forward an email, or follow along because EVERYONE else is doing it.

Stand up and be a leader for a change!