Joni, The Rocky Champ

James 5:16 KJV “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Joni, The Rocky Champ!

I must admit, I feel a little guilty feeling so good. I saw my sister-in-law, yesterday on the 6th at my niece’s graduation and she said after looking me over with a broad smile on her face, “You look great!”

I responded with, “I feel great! You wouldn’t know I have this dreaded disease would you?” 

The place we were at was a pretty big place with thousands of stadium style seating. It had an elevator to accommodate people or an open-aired staircase which allowed people to ascend via the stairs. 

Fear gripped me when I saw all of those steps, but seeing the family and their faces, telling me they’ve been praying for me made me feel ‘flighty’. I felt as if I could accomplish anything. So when my husband asked if I wanted to take the elevator, I boldly stated, “NO, I’ll take the stairs.” 

My other niece, daughter of my s-i-l, my mother in law, an uncle and I and hubby all began the ascent. Step, step, step, step I went, keeping pace with the floods of people in front and behind me as well as my niece and s-i-l. My sister in law gazed over at me at me keeping up with her and said, “Go Joni!” A platform then twenty more steps I went! I heard my husband behind me saying, “Show off.” Jokingly of course because all were quite amazed that this little woman who used to walk every step on a flat surface in pain, cringed with every hug because of my back pain, dreaded going to the store because of my pain, was now the Rocky Balboa of Nebraska ascending the stairs like a champ! 

Yes, I did a little fist raise at the top of the stairs, through panting breath I exclaimed, “I DID IT!!!” I was more raising my hands thanking the Lord for the strength than I was thinking of Rocky. But yes forty-some stairs and I made it. (Keep in mind the steps it took to get through the parking lot, to the front door, to see the stairs.)

While I felt I had the strength of a thousand men behind me, I looked at the stadium style seating with exasperation and fumed, I cannot go DOWN all those steps. Uncle said, “Why because you just made it up all of those steps?” A little out of breath I stated, “That, and my fear of heights!” After a little chuckle we found seating at the top and found they were pretty comfortable heavily plastic seats, not the bleacher style seats that we faced at a previous graduation two years ago, where I had been in so much pain, I had to leave the event and wait in the car.

Not this time, this time I was a champ! And to think I was hesitant in even wanting to attend the event. But my niece was graduating. This little lady has spent eight years trying to get this diploma to be a nurse. The course was full if I remember correctly when she first signed up and she was put on a waiting list where she tried to wait patiently. In the meantime she took on three jobs to fund her schooling, working at nursing homes and other duties of the field to prepare her for this day. She found the most money-making job in delivering pizza’s believe it or not.

I was hesitant in attending mostly because I would have to face many family members that I haven’t seen since my diagnosis. I prayed of course for guidance and God always tells me, “We got this!” So again, I took His word and barreled on. I didn’t attend the after party where too much food would be that I couldn’t eat. But we came, I conquered, and I felt GREAT! I made sure each and every one of them knew it too!

The other reason I was hesitant was my bladder. A forty-five-minute drive? Could I make it after having two cups of coffee and some water? Guess what people, I made it!!! We sat through an hour of the diplomas being handed out before I made my way to the restroom to relieve my bladder before venturing on another forty-minute drive home!

I’ll have to admit, I’m pretty amazed myself! When God said He was healing all of me, He meant it! He’s not laying down on the job expecting me to do all of the work, nope we’re a team! I’ll climb those stairs as long as He fills me with strength! I’ll bask in the sun as long as my friends and family are behind me cheering me on, I’ll continue on this promising road as long as God allows His Light to shine through me! Yesterday I was living proof for all of those who needed to see, SEE!

All Glory and Praise to Him on High!

Praise be to God!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 KJV “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

AMEN!

Who Would've Thought

Gen 1:29 "And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat."

Who Would’ve Thought?

Who would’ve thought when our mothers were raising us and telling us to ‘eat our vegetables’, that she was really protecting us from the harmful toxins we were putting in our bodies in the process? I bet she didn’t even know why she was telling us other than she knew, ‘vegetables were good for us.’ But she's also the one who used lard for cooking. 

Did you know that the majority of illnesses, MAJORITY of all illnesses are CAUSED from the toxins that we’ve put into our bodies? From Asthma to migraines, from anxiety to depression, from heart disease to cancer, all stem from the toxic food that you and I have put into our bodies and the reaction of illness is from the depletion of healthy antioxidants that aid your immune system in fighting off the enemy of illnesses. What do you think heart disease is caused from? Fats! And type 2 diabetes? For my mother, it was sugar and salt intake.

Drinking water:  

sauerkraut:

fermented foods: 

essential oils: 

Cauliflower Pizza:

Welcome to healthy living:

Sauerkraut fighting cancer?:

Reasons to eat Olives! 

The Truth About Cancer and Vit. C:

Who would’ve thought that when we took our first breath, God already mapped out our life? You want an example? This is MY proof that God had all of this planned for me before I was born, read into what you will. 
On March 23rd, Joni was born on her mother’s birthday. The sixth child, the baby of the family.
Vacation Bible School ruled the summers before entering grade school.
As Joni grew, her first thru eighth grade were spent in a Catholic school where she was molded and groomed. Besides intelligence, her religious element was being shaped.
Enter 9th-grade Christian school a fourteen-year-old Christian emerged born again of clay and further shaping took place. 
The writer was born from childhood—way before ninth grade- more like first grade.
Overcame obstacles of an unhealthy lifestyle and life choices with the help of the Lord. Note: The unhealthy foods I ate all of my life are what created the illness I’m fighting today! Also note: Cancer is man made not God made. 
Today, the benefit of being a writer is still shaping who I become later in life. Without the knowledge of doing research (all good writers do research as a part of presenting the TRUTH to the reader), I would not have the willpower to fight this illness that has taken over my body. I would have succumbed to man.

God KNEW I would be a writer and how I’d use it, along with Him, for my complete healing! Knowledge is POWER! 

Who would’ve thought that our beloved government would be the ones poisoning us? Putting fluoride in our drinking water, allowing pesticide-treated crops to be placed on our dinner table, allowing chemically enhanced meat on our grocery shelves, and allowing insurance and pharmaceutical companies to drain every penny of soldiers, elderly, poor and the sick. By the way, THEY (the government) made everyone sick, to begin with! 

Who would’ve thought that God already knew man would destroy man ever so cunningly and that what was going to happen to mankind in the twenty-first century! And the very reason He had it written in scripture the foods we could eat, the bread we could eat, the meat, the vegetables, the herbs, and spices.

Meat to eat KJV: 

For those who need an easier read ERV: 
Shrimp, lobster, crabs anyone?

Even the BEST of Christians (including myself) defy God’s word. 
Lev. 11: 7 “And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he [is] unclean to you.”
Pork, ham, bacon, sausage anyone? 

To make yourself feel better, this is what the New Testament says about meat. To taste heaven, it doesn't matter what we eat or drink. We don't find favor by our acts, in other words, we can't EARN our way into heaven. Maybe the food we eat doesn't matter for our entering heaven but rest assured, it DOES matter whether we live a healthy life or that of an unhealthy lifestyle. And I believe THAT is the reason we were informed in the Old Testament. Again, you will read into it what you will. 

Who would’ve thought that man would be so defiant? Our overweight western nation is proof that man (and woman) is defiant against what the Lord wanted for us, He knew what we’d need to fight the illnesses and what we’d eventually open our eyes and see as truth. Why does He say so many times, you sleeping nation, you sleeping people, AWAKEN????? Because God KNEW thousands of years ago that we were a defiantly defiled bunch!

Who would’ve thought that He’d use this little lady right here, the writer, the blogger, the Godly woman to bring to you a message? God knew that’s who would’ve known. After all, look who He used to pen the scripture.

Living Testimony

1 peter. 4:10 “As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Living Testimony

Did you know that people who are terminally ill don’t have a choice where or when they die?

"As of June 2016, human euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Colombia, and Luxembourg. Assisted suicide is legal in Switzerland, Germany, Japan, Canada, and in the US states of Washington, Oregon, Vermont, Montana, and California."

A couple of months ago my husband went for a yearly check-up and we were told about A Living Will. His doctor said, that although we were young and presumably healthy, we should have one prepared in the event that if anything happened to either one of us, where our families might feel they know what we want in the end, this would be our notarized decision.

I boldly told hubby that I would never want to be kept alive by feeding tubes or on machines. We’ve never thought of stuff like that before and oddly this was what we were to think about but never got around to and here I sit today.

No, don’t worry, this is not going to be a downer post this is going to be the uplifting inspiring posts that you’ve come to expect from me! You see, nobody wants to think of death, yet it is a natural part of life. We want to think of uplifting positive journeys and what we need to do before, well you know, the time comes when we’re called home.

1 Pet. 4:11 “If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.”

I always see the positive in the negative and this illness is no different. I don’t see this as a time to roll over and let the doctors do with me what they will, I see this as a time to stand up as my ancestors before me weren’t strong enough to do. I’ve always been a rebel of sorts, going against the grain. For crying out loud, I chose St. Joan of Arc as my patron Saint when I was a young girl in a Catholic school when the nuns were against my CHOICE.

I’m no longer a practicing Catholic but I still do somewhat admire Joan of Arc for all she stood for. Standing for Christ when all others rejected her and thought that she shouldn’t fight in a long-running war at a very young age. What is strangely odd is that unbeknownst to me, her father's name was Jacques d’Arc. Years ago, I named one of my dogs Jacques. Yup, same spelling. Weird, huh?

Some St. Joan of Arc quotes:

“I am not afraid... I was born to do this.”

“If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me.”

“I was in my thirteenth year when I heard a voice from God to help me govern my conduct. And the first time I was very much afraid.”

From History. Com. “Against the advice of most of his counselors and generals, Charles granted her request, and Joan set off for Orléans in March of 1429 dressed in white armor and riding a white horse.”

I only bring Joan of Arc up because this is what I feel like from the doctor’s trying to force me to get chemo and feel they will burn me at the stake as soon as I mention talking to God about this decision. They can’t burn me at the stake here in a free country but if I was under eighteen, you can bet they WOULD force me single-handedly to take the chemo route. 

My mother's aunt had breast cancer, went the chemo/butcher route and it was the family’s belief that by opening her up it allowed the disease to spread. The same thing happened to my father’s aunt and my own aunt and uncle. Ancestrally, many family members all went the same route and I’m not defying the doctor’s, besides me doing this with God, I am doing this for my deceased family members who might not have known any better or any other treatments at the time. I’m doing it for my son, my nieces, and nephews and their children who might find themselves dealt the same hand as I am dealt. I am doing this for God who keeps reminding me of Romans 8:31 “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

They need to know that it is okay to go against the grain! It’s okay to be a martyr and listen to God! It’s okay to swim against the tide, away from the fish all heading in the same direction. Stand alone if you must but always think of the greater things outside the box. This is the one legacy I’ll leave to my son and my nieces and nephews. They’ll know first and foremost I stood with God and this is where He led me and never did I doubt or fear where I was being driven. I trust Him with my life, literally. That’s what we all must do. 

As you thought this post would be a downer, you were led to a place of hope. Hope in tomorrow and hope in the Lord our God and where He leads us. The hardest part is giving Him 100% trust but when we do… I can’t explain the liberating freedom that comes along with the trust. All I do know is that I’d rather be in no other hands but His! Praise Be to God!

1 Pet. 4:12-13 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

Power in Prayer Part II

Job 15:4 “Yea, thou castest off fear, and restrainest prayer before God.”

Power of Prayer Part II

Since being diagnosed with this illness, what fell into my lap at the precise timing were online modules, Chris Beat Cancer (CBC) with Chris Wark, and The Truth About Cancer, a docuseries with Ty Bollinger.

The CBC modules told how as a young man Chris was diagnosed with colon cancer. They operated on him and afterward wanted him to do chemotherapy immediately and he refused. At the time, he could afford to say no and went the holistic healing route.

He flew to different states talked with different doctors, found a doctor who would inject him with vitamin C as he searched and searched for healing remedies. Twelve years clean of the ickyC, two children later, and thousands of dollars on vitamins and herbs, he put together a ten-part series on how he won the battle.

A Christian man from the beginning, Chris first went to his church where he was a part of the worship team and informed them of his diagnosis. What did his church family do? They prayed over him to be guided in his healing. They surrounded him with prayer and support as he pursued the holistic way of healing.

He was told at the beginning of his diagnosis of all the ugliness surrounding chemo. How chemo destroyed your immune system, how he’d never be able to have children and how sick he would be on chemo. He right then and there said no way to chemo and went his own way finding a Naturopathic Doctor to assist in his journey. 

From google: How does chemo affect your immune system?
Cancer can weaken the immune system by spreading into the bone marrow. The bone marrow makes blood cells that help to fight infection. The weakening of the immune system happens most often in leukemia or lymphoma. But it can happen with other cancers too.

What chemo does to the body?
Chemotherapy drugs are powerful enough to kill rapidly growing cancer cells, but they also can harm perfectly healthy cells, causing side effects throughout the body. Chemotherapy can interfere with the body's ability to produce healthy blood platelets, red blood cells, and white blood cells.

Can chemo kill you?
If you take chemotherapy and it doesn't kill all the cancer cells, you will find yourself in a very vulnerable position with a decimated immune system. You will have little defenses left to prevent any remaining cancer cells from reproducing. ... Most chemotherapy drugs are carcinogenic, that means they CAN cause cancer.

How effective is chemo?

What does exposure feel like?
Large doses of ionizing radiation in a short time period lead to Acute Radiation Syndrome (ARS), aka radiation poisoning. The severity of ARS symptoms depends on the level of exposure. A radiation dose as low as 0.35 Gy could feel a bit like you have the flu—expect nausea and vomiting, headaches, fatigue, and fever.

What does radiation do to the body?
Ionizing radiation—the kind that minerals, atom bombs and nuclear reactors emit—does one main thing to the human body: it weakens and breaks up DNA, either damaging cells enough to kill them or causing them to mutate in ways that may eventually lead to cancer.

There is so much more on the destruction of your cells from chemo and when I asked my oncologist #2 about it, he said he didn’t know where I heard that info (why, google of course) and that the cells regenerate and I’d be fine. What? He also NEVER informed me of ANY of the statements above from google, just sign here on the dotted line to be fed into the chamber.

The Ty Bollinger series on The Truth About Cancer (TBAC) is about hundreds (possibly thousands) of testimonials of people who just said NO, to chemo! One young man was given four months to live, he had heard about cannabis oil but where he lived in the UK it was illegal. He went through channels to get the oil and four months later he went back to the doctor for a screening and the tumor was shrinking and the C was leaving his body. His doctor told him whatever he was doing, to keep it up.

There is a testimonial where the government FORCED a woman and man to put their child through chemo and threatened to take their other kids away. They secretly were giving their child holistic remedies and their child was responding while the other children in the ward were getting sicker and sicker and many losing the battle.

I could go on and on about the amazing testimonials I watched in the past month on the power of prayer and the healing of our Lord. Yes, what all these people had in common was FAITH in God!

Pss. 4:1 “Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.”

When I was first diagnosed, I told my dear spiritual family I didn’t want to go the chemo route and the majority prayed for me and told me to listen for God’s answer. God spoke to me in the way of those two modules that coincidentally were FREE (now they cost) and fell in my lap when I prayed to God for guidance. (You know me, I DON’T believe in coincidence!)

Some will say, “That’s not God talking, you need chemo, the big C is a killer.” Well people, it isn’t cancer that’s the killer and the sooner you accept that the more enlightened you will become.

God may have told you to go the chemo route, He might have said I’ll hold your hand and be with you every step of the way, but FOR ME, He did not say that. I was told by four doctors already that my cancer is unique to me, UNIQUE because no two cancers are alike. Like a thumbprint we are all genetically made different in every aspect, so is this illness, and so should treatment be treated that way. 

Pss. 55:1 “Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication.”

Let me ask you this, if my illness is so unique to me, why not treat me in a unique manner? Why offer me the exact same conventional treatment every other patient is offered? Why? Because that’s not how it works in the world of oncology. I do understand the concerns of the doctors. If they lose me, they feel as though they didn’t do their job. It is MY body, not theirs to decide what to do, and even more importantly, I’m LISTENING to God a HEALER, not a doctor, the pacifier.

I think once again I’ll go against the grain, not swim upstream with the fishies and walk on water with the Sweet Lord Jesus! The one thing all of the successful testimonies of holistic healing have in common is The Power of Prayer! Have faith people GOD IS ALIVE!

Pss. 5:3 “My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.”

Bringing You The Fruit

Prov. 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

The Week Begins…

Well, the week has arrived and I was scheduled for my doctor’s appointment barring any weather upsets that would keep me from going. I was a little nervous, not scared or worried just the normal what doctor’s deem ‘The White Coat Syndrome’. That’s when your anxiety heightens as well as blood pressure rises before and during the doctor visit. 

I think I was anxious because this wasn't just a routine exam where she’d look at me and give me a clean bill of health and send me on my way. No, this is more of the serious nature visit where you’ve found the dreaded lump and your mind reels with lies and stirs with emotions. 

I haven’t told my mother yet and for one reason only, first her mind doesn’t comprehend like it used to and second, I don’t need her negative spin on it for sure. She’ll just worry and think I’m dying of cancer, then tell me about her aunt and every other person who has died from cancer in my family (as if I don’t already know). I DO NOT need that kind of negative thought process! 

So today, the 24th I went and just as expected, I didn’t hear words I wanted to hear and wasn’t patted on the back and said good job, received a lollipop and sent on my way. No, today I heard words like biopsies and mammograms and further diagnosis. All of this I was expecting knowing the size of the lump in my breast. Tomorrow I go for a ‘consultation’ to hear what needs to be done then she’ll scoot me out the door to have my breast squeezed like oranges but I’m praying no juice comes out. Yes, I still have my sense of humor intact.

After reading an email (biblical of course) I think this very email was just what the doctor ordered for me today. It said something like God is pruning me. Have you ever seen a ripe peach tree with a bunch of peaches scattered on the ground? The tree is pruning itself of all the bad peaches or over-ripe ones. That’s sort of like me, I need pruning so my testimony of Christ is the proper fruit to go out to all of the people. I can’t give you all dead fruit so he is using my circumstances to give you an abundance of fresh fruit. 

From Ministry Today: 
“Jesus told his disciples that God acts as a gardener in the lives of those who claim him as Lord. He wants his followers to be abundant producers of good fruit, showing the world that they are children of God. But this is not enough. Instead of simply harvesting the fruit that is produced, the Lord grabs a pair of pruning shears and begins to trim the branches. A little here, a little there, until he is satisfied with the end result.

John 15:8 “Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.”

My take on the whole situation is God deems me worthy to prune. I’m not just a fruit producer spouting off scripture; I’m a living testimony of God and His masterful plan. I’m not taking lightly the diagnosis of ‘biopsies’ and ‘treatment’, I see it as bringing you fresh ripe fruit for the picking. 

Gal. 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

I had every intention of leaving my blog behind in the New Year to focus on my writing, my fictional writing and me. I guess God had other plans. He wants me to continue bringing you His Word so that you yourself can savor the juiciness of hope and love. 

While the world bathes in hate, while people spit off everything wrong with the world and people sling mud to feel good about themselves, I’m claiming my ministry of bringing God to you and possibly bring you to God. 

Don’t you see, the power of LOVE is stronger than any hatred you can sling. You can try to affect people with your mudslinging but the power of God is more powerful than any anger and hatred you try to stick on people. Your hate is laughed at, God is not mocked!  

My journey continue…

Philippians 4:6-9  “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”

MTOC ~ Day Three ~ Choice

“When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticism, misguided opinions, walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude.” ~ Dodinsky

I have laid my past to rest and crawled out of the darkened pit with my fingernails intact as well as my dignity. While I could have lashed out at my sister for her insensitive ignorant remarks toward me, my son and my husband, I CHOSE the higher road and continue on with my life that I have built for myself. Not with the help of any blood family members who remain anchors that weigh me down. I now look to my Spiritual family to lift me up on a daily basis. 

We ALL have a choice and while some will cling to the bitterness that shapes their life, I CHOOSE not to allow anger and bitterness to define who I am now. THAT my friends is God in me. It isn’t any scientific psychological mumbo jumbo, nope it’s that God mumbo jumbo that I keep telling people about. 

I have a friend who over reacted to something she had seen. Apparently Kirk Cameron is doing a tour giving HIS testimony of Christ. While he has the star quality that I don’t have, his words are going to be faced with pretty much the same criticism I’m faced with in my testimony. Us God people are just freaks of nature. I along with millions, and possibly billions are all wrong and all freaks of this ‘God’ we speak of. 

What did Kirk Cameron say that ticked my friend off? 

He said, "Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband's lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband," he says. "When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage."

She raged on, (I won’t share her entire post for privacy reasons) but this is some of what she said:

“If this is what being Christian means, then I don't want any part of it.” 

What she said, loosely, is that she heard Cameron say that women are to be servant slaves to their husband. His sister Candace said that she agreed with Kirk and is submissive to HER husband but what my friend missed was the CHOICE of the entire message. I think she missed the point that we, men AND women, are to love, honor, respect and cherish one another. Not be slaves but to honor one another.

I don’t judge her for her opinion on the matter because it is what I see as a national problem with the message that Jesus was trying to convey. People mix the Old Testament with the New Testament and make confetti of the words and dish out what suits them. They dissect the word to fit into their little world, they use the words like wet clay and try to form those words into a belief system that suits or doesn’t suit them. To ME, it looks like they’ve made an ashtray out of the Word of God.

They try going to church but again, they’re met with confetti and don’t understand what is being said. They’re looked over, gawked at and made to feel like an outsider so they flee from the church never to return. They hear people TALK about the Word of God but for some reason, they don’t SEE the word of God working in people. Is that because the Bible bearers ACTIONS are not equal to what they are saying? 

It’s a fine line sure, but also, it is a matter of CHOICE. When you look at the starry sky at night lit up like diamonds scattered on a sunny beach do you see a disorderly array of stars or do you see things like Cassiopeia, Orion or the Pleiades hiding within the astrological signs? This is the same thing when people hear the Word of God or people speak of the word of God. Others hear a disorganized message or they hear a divinely orchestrated message hidden in there. 

Last year when my dad passed away, I couldn’t make it back home and it gripped me for months, the guilt, the hurt, the suffering pangs I felt. My sister in her obvious dislike for me (I’m not going to pretend otherwise) had said, “Well YOU made the choice to leave here!” I rightfully said, “Yes, yes I did, I chose LIFE over death.”

I had suffered back home and nearly lost my life on more occasions than one, so leaving my husband WAS a choice of mine, a CHOICE of survival. Those people enslaved me and kept me bound by their misfit whims of dysfunction and I just assumed that that is how life was supposed to be. I prayed often for deliverance from the hell I was entombed in. 

It wasn’t until I found freedom in the land of Texas was I able to see the outside world and after months of suffering anxiety attacks nightly, running off hyperventilating on the dark streets of Texas, I slowly got a grip on what reality looked like. My years and years of prayers were finally answered; I was free from enslavement. 

God put me on a path and only because my choice was Him did my world start to turn around and I saw the light of day. When I tell people of Christ, it isn’t from a high and mighty pedestal, it isn’t from a wealthy sculpted upbringing, it isn’t from being shaped by a defective family, no, it is from a woman who CHOSE God over living to the conformity of man. Yes, the same men who wrote the Holy Bible, Old and New Testaments. 

I live for the mysteries of God. You’re right people, the Bible is a bunch  of words, supposedly the divine intervention of God Himself, but it isn’t until you CHOOSE the Holy Spirit to live IN you will you ever grasp the meaning of one word or message from the Holy Bible. 

Acts 15:7 “And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe.”

My Testimony of Christ

1 Cor. 15:51 “Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,”

I am being called to give a Testimony of Christ; MY testimony of Christ. This might very well turn into a week-long series so you’ve been warned. If you are reading me for the first time, I welcome you. Please don’t be discouraged by the word Christ, read on because you want to hear my story. 

Yesterday’s sermon was pretty good when Pastor called up a young woman to give her testimony of why she turned to Christ. That’s when truth slapped me upside the head. I hear so many people who give testimony of Christ, being raised with Christ all of their lives. Their parents and grandparents all had a hand in Christ and relayed Him to their children. This woman’s testimony was no different.

Amazing. People actually grew up with Christ in their lives? Surrounded by a loving family, their testimony is usually how they turned away, usually during the pubescent years and found Christ again.

Someone had told me recently that kids who are raised with Christ and turn away usually have a hard time returning to Him and accepting all that he has to offer. I have a tendency to disagree with that because if a child is raised with Christ and is turned away upon maturity, the soul search is just something that we need to do to find our grounding. 

I was not raised with Christ. My parents were not grounded in Christ nor were my grandparents a part of Christ. My family lineage is of alcohol right down to my great grandparents, all alcoholics, so it is no wonder I took my first drink at a younger than ‘normal’ age. Yeah, I would say eight and nine is younger than normal to take your first drink, puff your first cigarette, and smoke your first joint.

The pastor said something today. Pastor said, “You know how when you’re not of sober mind, you’ll say and do things that you normally wouldn’t do? People see you as a drunkard and no amount of bible spewing is going to have them seeing you differently.” He went on, “Well,” he said, “That’s what people see when you’re under the influence of God. They see Christ in you. You’ll say and do things you wouldn’t normally do!” 

He’s right. First, let me define Christian in MY eyes. For one, the term was not around in the Old Testament so when I hear people say that the men who wrote some book and call themselves Christians, I’ll assume have not read ‘the book’ in its entirety or even tried to understand what the message is that we’re supposed to receive.

Second of all, I was not raised in a Christian household. I didn’t have a mother and father that sat around reading Bible stories to their kids and I didn’t have a religious upbringing. I had what is deemed a politically correct term, dysfunctional family. I had a family who saw beer as a dinner meal, drugs as ‘cool thing’, whoopings when you were disobedient, and punishments were belted out, vocally and branded on your butt. 

My dad (God rest his soul) never dished out the beatings, he was too busy sitting on a bar stool exercising his elbow. I will not say anything bad about my mother and father because they did the best they could raising six kids and staying married for 60 years. That’s it, we were raised. We fended for ourselves and grew. Me? I chose to find God. You see, all six of us were sent to a Catholic school but not all of us sought out God. Many strayed but it wasn’t because we were raised on God and turned, we never accepted the teachings of the nuns and priests to begin with.

Was I a perfect kid? By no means whatsoever. The thing is, the people who know me now would not have ever recognized me back then with skinned knees, bruised legs, a cigarette hanging out of my mouth and beer hidden in a paper bag, you know so no one knew what I was drinking? I was bad in every sense of the word! I was a liar, cheater, stealer, and a scummy sleazeball! If you think the girls today dress slutty, that is me only ten times worse. Imagine a size zero fifteen-year-old, long blond flowing hair, wearing a see-through white halter-top and cheek bearing hot pants. Yup, that was me.

So how is it that people who see me now see a beautiful woman? They don’t see beauty physically, I don’t think, they see innocence, purity, God’s light shining through me. They see the changed me. They met the changed me and liked who I was as a person whereas the people back home in Baltimore never had a chance to even get to KNOW the changed me. They just thought I was the battered kid from back in the day and that is who I am now. Boy, are they ever so wrong. Change bit me hard and now I just have the scars to prove where I’ve been

So what changed me? I’ll tell you, God changed me. I stumbled upon Him as a beaten battered sinner and He took me in and raised me. If you go to a church, don’t assume the people there are these perfect people living sinless lives. They’re all standing in front of God as a sinner, we are all sinners, we turn to God for him to cleanse us; wash us of our sin and to heal us where no man is capable of healing. The term Christian is for Christ Followers. It is not a religion, it is not to be thrown around like a basketball dribbled and put in the hoop when the timing is right. Christianity is a state of mind, a spiritual cleansing making what was old new again.

I’ll have to finish this up in a later post. I told you it would take me a week. Hang in there folks. My sister told my mother this weekend in a disagreement that she [my sister] died when I was born. She was no longer a princess…..

The Myth Factor

Acts 1:8 “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.”

I hear over and over again that the Bible is a myth. Why would some people believe this is beyond me but I do see why they’re misguided. After all, the book does have dragons and giants, Behemoth’s and rising dead people along with a virgin giving birth. That can all seem too ‘out there’ and a fabled myth for some folk.

I can go through hundreds of comments in a day and over and over when God is brought up, the unbeliever shoots him down quickly. The recent conversation of comments was on the subject of the Church denying gays and placing them outside as sinners condemned. The church tries to ‘change’ them and oftentimes they feel so left out that suicide is better than living.

One commenter states:

“It always amazes me how much hate people practice because they found it in a thousands year old book and insist on calling it love.”

Another Comment:

“Christianity has been peer reviewed for two thousand years and has done far more good if followed in spirit. Religion is merely a formalized moral position on various subjects that is voluntarily followed by a group of people. The same definition could be made regarding politics. And no, religion does not need a God, it simply needs a moral lawgiver. Something the world is in dire need of.”

I do believe that the world is conflicted because since the beginning of time there has been the war of good and evil and it looks to me like this day and age, evil is winning out in record numbers. The everyday news reports of killings, bombings, slaughtering makes the news but I wonder if what is going on and IS reported, what is seriously going on and NOT being reported?

I often read/hear, “Where was your God when [such and such] was happening?”

“Where’s your proof of this ‘God’?”

I’m so sick of people blaming God for bad things happening. Who can forget 9-11? Was that God who flew the plane into those buildings? No, it was evil that struck the nation and God saw the heartache and tried salvaging what evil had done.

When a plane crashes and kills four of five of those aboard, was it God who so heartlessly killed those people? No, it was HUMAN error! When God saw that one seven-year old child alive, His child, He led her to a safe house where she could receive assistance. Braving a rough terrain, almost freezing temperatures, and walking over a quarter of a mile, barefoot and in summer-like clothing, this child became the sole survivor of a devastating plane wreck.

Miracles happen and people will still blame God for the things He ‘didn’t’ do. I can see why the world is so confused. We have people claiming to be Christians but not acting like Christians; we have a ‘politically correct’ nation so hung up on technical jargon; we have a nation that hates God, and will spew anything against Him because He hasn’t shown Himself physically in many-a-year or done anything for ‘them’; we also have an entire group of people claiming to be Christians but needing scientific proof to be sure where exactly they stand. An extremely confused world we are.

Well people, I don’t have proof of anything; don't need it. All I have is my testimony, just as the men in the bible preach and write about. You see, the Bible is just a testimony, albeit divine, from man handed down through centuries. The Bible is comprised of them documenting certain events. They documented what THEY saw/heard and thus you have all the testimony in one book for you to discern as fact or fiction.

I CHOOSE to see it as fact only because of what God has shown ME. Whether He has shown YOU anything is up to you. If He’s shown you nothing, of course you’re going to doubt and need some sort of PROOF of this God.

Just today I was reading about ‘Scientific Proof’ of Jesus teaching in a synagogue. Scientific proof, that’s cute. One commenter said that WE people only believe this stuff because of a “mythological” story we read.

Let me tell you straight up, I don’t believe in God because of something I read. I do not base my faith on a book written and documented by men thousands of years ago. My faith comes from God himself. Sure, my moral compass was guided by the Word of the Bible; Yes I live a moral code set by the Bible but my faith is not just because I read a book called The Holy Bible.

Can you honestly say you have faith then seek out PROOF? I, in good conscience cannot. Faith is seeing and believing in the unknown; no proof needed. I don’t need scientific proof that the sea was parted. I need no documentation of Jesus’ footprints being found in the sand. I don’t need to know the exact spot the Ark was grounded and I sure don’t need a man (or woman) telling me what I’m doing right or wrong in MY belief.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with religious division. It seems like what so many of the non-believers feel is that if the Bible is so true and proof-worthy, why are so many religions divided? If we all believe the same bible, the same Word, why are we so divided? Because we’re human! Humans have egos and a person with an ego always needs to be right; thus, a divided religious system.

I think I’ve figured it out. There will be debates on the proof, the non-proof, the truth and the non-truth until the end of time, until He comes back and wipes the smirk and ego right off your shoulders. I’ll keep MY faith tightly wrapped in the arms of the Holy Spirit.   

Testimony

Pss. 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.

Why all the testimonies lately? I guess because it is what God is calling His people to do. My friend Debbie gives a testimony as she has fought and is winning the battle with breast cancer. Tom had a testimony about his heater and had it happened just two days later, he’d be sitting in the cold unable to fix what was broken. (he’s having surgery immobilizing him for days.)  My friend Steve is also battling and winning the fight with cancer, and I myself have given testimony to the many blessings the Lord has put in my life. And the list goes on.

A testimony of Christ is a Christian, baring his/her soul of their struggles and showing you, possibly a non-believer, how He has worked victoriously in our lives.

Take for instance Sunday. We made it to church on Sunday (read previous posts.) What I left out of the already 800 word post was this:

We went to a beautiful service but when we walked out to the car, there under the car was a puddle.

“Is that supposed to be there? Or is it from another car?” I so blondely asked.

“Yes honey.” Is the smart response I got.

I could SEE it was from our car, but we got in, it started right up and off we drove. Church is about 20 –25 miles from home and as we pulled into our driveway, went to park, it just conked right out. It started right back up to be put in its place, but I was amazed that God had gotten us to our front door before the car conked out.

What a blessing, what a testimony.

I’m in a Prayer Partner group on facebook and while many are in need of prayer, it is always later related by a testimony of just HOW those prayers were answered. I’m sensing a thread that ties the two together. Prayer request ---> Prayers go out ---> Prayers answered ---> testimony. Prayer for a struggling soul ---> Prayers go out --- > Prayers answered --- > Testimony. It goes on and on.

It’s as if God is calling His people to prayer. I know quite a few people of different religions and the one thing that bonds those religions together is prayer. And through prayer healing occurs.

Now back to the car. Steven called his brother, the mechanic and asked him if he could look at it. Well that meant a trip, in the car, to Axtel. His brother, always ready to help his lil bro out said, “Sure bring it out.”

His brother was off on Thursday so that is when Steven loaded up the car with water and anti-freeze, bright and early because Steven had to be into work at 11. I loaded up on the prayer because I knew it was a good 20-25 miles from where we are.

Steven called at ten o'clock from Kearney and asked me to come take him to work. I had the truck, so off in the nasty wind I road. The car had made it to Axtel AND into Kearney where it now sits, I say ‘hospitalized’ (at a garage.)

Okay, so I haven’t got my miracle car fixed and who knows where the money will come from, but I do know, the radiator had a hole in it, needs to be replaced and it won’t be home from the ‘hospital’ until Tuesday. It’s okay, my car will be fine and the Lord will provide as He always does. My full testimony will come when I receive the message as to why and what reason the car got sick at this time.

The point of my story is this, God calls us to give testimony to all the glory and blessings in our life so that maybe just one person might be touched and also want to plant a seed. That’s what God’s gift to us is all about; it isn’t just about the cross and what was done to save us, it is about what is in the here and now and what we can DO to save others and possibly give them hope in their tomorrow. Get it?

The cross is OURS to bear. We either take it on or just walk, no seeds, no testimony, just walk. Maybe that is what your faith is all about to you, just walking and waiting for heaven. Me, I like to think of my faith as a seed that I plant; I carry the cross to watch those around me bloom!

He did it for me, it’s the LEAST and I do mean LEAST I can do for Him.

Pss. 119: 88 Quicken me after thy lovingkindness; so shall I keep the testimony of thy mouth.

Why am I so devoted?

1 Cor. 10: 31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Why am I so devoted?

You know, I’ve had people ask me, “Why are you so devoted to God? What has He ever given you?”

“I mean really, you need to ask that?  First of all He has given me life, among other things.”

“You really believe that?”

“Yes, yes I do. Don’t you?”

And thus begins a discussion on God.

Last week my face swelled up like a balloon. My whole right side was disproportionate with my left side making me look quite gruesome and grotesque, not to mention the pain that rode along with the swelling.

It wasn’t an allergic reaction to something I ate. It felt like an abscess or some sort of sinus infection. I had a nightmare where I had went into church and everyone was laughing at me whispering behind my back, “She looks like the elephant man.”

We hadn’t been to church in two or three weeks because Steven’s boss keeps scheduling him on Sunday, after he’s asked for Sunday’s off, so I was feeling depleted. I continually sing praises throughout the day, read my bible and keep in touch with God but my worship on Sunday really keeps me rooted in my love of God and keeps my eyes focused on Him.

This Sunday however Steven had the day off so we would be allowed to attend service! I was elated; my face was swelled like a balloon so it kind of scared me to think I’d go into church to be looked at. Not that they EVER would look at me and laugh and judge, (I don’t attend THAT kind of church.)  But Friday’s pain did have me concerned.

I told Steven that this was satans way of trying to keep me out of church this Sunday and that I’d be going if I had to CRAWL! Steven replied, “If it works out that way.”

“Oh, it’ll work out! I have FAITH! GOD wants me there!” Yes, the battle between God and satan happens daily in lives. Who wins is up to you.

I woke Sunday at 5 am like always, had my coffee, slowly sipping because the pain was too much to bear. I was debating going to church, bracing the temps, and fear of shivering because it would hurt.

I was on my knees crying in pain, “God, I can’t make it today. I’m in so much pain.”

Quite suddenly a response of, “What pain?”

“What pain? WHAT pain,” and before I could finish crying out what pain one more time, I felt NO PAIN! What? NO pain, you ask? YES, no pain. I went on to finish getting dressed and we made it to Church. God wanted me there so again, HE won! All praise and Glory to God!

THIS is why I’m so devoted to God. Any time I have ever cried out and times when I didn’t cry out, He always hears and has a response. Now granted a lot of folks, like I was saying yesterday, have faith, pray and believe and that is all well and good, but devoted? Is your life devoted to God?

When you don’t have money to pay the bills or buy food do you worry, do you run around looking for ways to get the funds, or do you place total trust in God? I’ve heard this many times too, “God’s not going to put food on your plate.” Well guess what, He WILL put food on your plate, He will see to it the funds are there, He'll use people to see the food is there, but mark my word, He DOES move mountains to see you well taken care of.

No, He won’t pay your cable bill, He doesn’t see to it you have the luxuries that you so often over indulge in, but yes, food, water, a warm home? YES! He’s also placed the means for a new car in my life, albeit an old used car, but nonetheless a car, only because He saw in advance the total wrecking of our second vehicle, and transportation is a means to food on our table via Steven working.

So YES, He DOES put food on my plate. He covers me in a blanket of protection. He sees my falls before I get there and is the soft pillow I land on before injury. If something doesn’t work out that *I* want, it’s because it is not what HE wanted for me, and sometimes (no, all the time) we have to be alright with that.

Once you accept that in your life, you become devoted to God. Your focus is on what glorifies Him and not what the media (satan) can place in front of you to distract you. Our distractions pull us away from God and thus the state of the world today.

Why am I so devoted to God? Because God, in all His Glory, is devoted to ME!

Phil. 1:11 Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.