I Need You To Know

Prov. 19: 20-21 (NLT) “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” 

This week I was emotionally hit by someone who told me what I need to do with my body. It was a supposed dear friend who knows what I am enduring with this diagnosis of a lifetime. He went on to tell me that God wants me to take care of my body and I'm being selfish not thinking of my loved ones by not going the slice, dice, and radiate route. I told him that the chemo route could only give me five years and he said it was better than five months. He feels the route I'm taking is limiting me to five months time?

I don't know personally how this person listens to God, but I know how I do and how God listens and hears me! Throughout this slightly traumatic event that this supposed friend put me through, God has reached out through scripture, placing what I need to see and hear in front of my eyes, in my email, or just by chance. I don't believe in coincidence so I know it is God who is giving me messages and not the enemy of attack! God had my dear friends come out in full force of support for me and I know each of them to be Godly Christians, not the twice-a-year Christian. So who will I listen to? Dear friends who God sends or a supposed friend who a month ago told me to go climb back under my rock because I'm not wrapped up in this materialistic world as the rest of the people? I think you know the answer to that.

Friends, let me tell you. I did not make this decision blindly or loosely. I'm not one of those people whose child is dying and I don't take him to the hospital because God is the almighty healer and will fix it all! No, I prayed first and foremost at the beginning (and I still do, just so you know.) God sent me on this path! He heard my prayer and understood so He agreed to be here for me no matter how bumpy and craggy the road got. No matter how many people jumped out in front of me to try and instill fear in me, God would handle them and me! I have not wavered in faith one time on this journey. People have but I have not and I will not apologize for my strength.

The person hit me below the belt. I'm still weak when it comes to opposition, and this opened a door of doubt and fear I wasn't ready for. But God swooped in via scripture and supportive friends to relieve any doubt and fear and has me once again embracing this journey. The person went on to tell me that if what I'm doing is not working I need to get to a doctor immediately. For one, how does he know if what I'm doing is or is not working and second of all, who is he to tell me what to do with MY body? Boy, that really got me unnecessarily riled up! When I need peace the most, I was hit with worry and stress. Interesting, isn't that usually what the enemy uses to attack with? 

Can I paint a scenario of what would happen if I chose the conventional route at ANY time during this illness? Chemo can 'maybe' give me five-to-ten years of life. After cutting me open, radiation, and scientifically known toxic drugs. Oops, they missed some of the yuks, cut me open again exposing the C-cells to air. Oops its spread, cut me open again to remove ovaries, oops it spread again, cut me open some more, remove my lung, my lymph nodes gone, my immune system shot. No fight left in my genetics or my spirit. The next ten years would be putting myself and my family through a chopping block of pain, literally! In and out of the hospital month after month with new trauma after new trauma only to watch me wither, crumble and die in hospice hooked to machines. In the five years of chopping me up, my 105 lb. weight dwindles to 60lbs. How is THAT selfish of me? I want to spare my husband and son that pain AND suffering!

That is exactly what happened to MANY members of my immediate family. They were not distant aunts and uncles. One was my grandmother, my dads' mother. One was my dad's sister and one was my mother's aunt. On both sides of my genetics, this scenario played out year after year with family members that I also didn't even know. I CHOSE not to be a victim of slice and dice. I found too numerous to count testimonies of people who SUCCESSFULLY went a different route! Why would I NOT try this? My family before me chose THEIR route, even though there was no internet of alternative routes available to them. They actually trusted their doctor and the numerous toxic drugs they put in their body. They all died!

Friends, it is inevitable that I am going to die. So are you. Granted we would all rather die later than sooner. We would all love to spare our loved ones the pain of losing us but when in history did that become our choice in when we die? NO ONE has chosen when they die except via suicide. I'm choosing to live as long as I possibly can, maintaining my health on a daily basis and that is more than I can say for a lot of folks who could care less about their health. But I'm the selfish bad guy for wanting to LIVE? Something is seriously wrong with that mentality. 

I can't guarantee that this route will be a success. A doctor can't guarantee chemo either. There are no guarantees in life! I don't want to leave my husband and son but THAT is not my choice! I just want to hold fast to my unwavering faith and show people that God reigns supreme in this world. The world is full of choices in life, many a matter of life and death, you live or you die. I choose God over man; life over death. You make your choices, I make mine unselfishly always putting God first! I may be wrong, I may be right but I know in my soul that eternal life is awaiting me. All praise and glory to God!

Pss. 27:3  "Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident."

*note: both scriptures in today's post were sent to me

by happenstance. Thank you, Lord! 

Be Still...

Pss. 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Silence

Have you ever tried listening to the sound of God’s voice? Try as you might you can’t because of all of the noise surrounding you. Sure you’re alone in the house, windows and doors closed, your place is silent but it is so silent that you can hear a clock ticking, a refrigerator humming, a car passing outside, sirens blaring, winds stirring, or your neighbors hanging a picture. Where is the silence in that?

Being ‘still’ is not just about sitting completely still and then waiting to hear God’s voice. You need to be in complete silence where this day and age, complete silence is fleeting. Even in the woods, there is no silence as birds call out, trees sway in the wind, leaves are rustling, water sometimes flows downstream, and silence is always disrupted by a noise. While nature has a host of sounds they’re not as distracting as life away from nature but not everyone can live surrounded by nature, now can they?

To seek and find God’s voice in the murmurings of the day, to hear His voice you need to hear nothing but silence, be still and breathe in the silence of the moment. Try it, can you? For fifteen minutes a day can you turn off the distractions of work, the computer, the washer, the noise, can you find silence somewhere in your day? You think you can but there will always be a noise to distract you and pull you away from God’s voice whispering in your ear.

I think I realize why I love the cold snowy season so much. For the very reason that out in the middle of nowhere, where I’m located, the snow renders the farms silent, the only sounds are the wind, even the trains often heard in the distance become silenced. It is during these times I can have a most meditative walk with nature and listen for God to whisper in my ear. It is at these times I talk to him too in a most silent and peaceful surrounding; I feel as if I’m touching a little bit of heaven.

I think humans are a lot like trick-or-treaters on Halloween. First of all, they dress up and put on a costume for the world outside their home to see; then they’re always going from house to house, city to city, job to job searching for a treat of some sort to make them happy, a quick-fix so to speak. For some reason, they cannot find the overwhelming peace that is needed to get through a day nevertheless a month or year. While I understand that not everyone is open to God or even cares to listen out for Him, they seem unhappy at any event that passes in their life. They claim happiness but deep inside when it comes down to it when they rest their head on the pillow at night, sleep eludes them.

They’ll blame medication, they’ll blame insomnia, they’ll point fingers at the noise of the stirring of the cauldron but they won’t blame themselves for the inability to find peace. The world is addicted to noise that distracts people from finding inner peace, from finding that still small voice of God.

I’ve always been a person who prayerfully meditates, listening for that still place of peace where I hear the words of God, and I do understand that not everyone has the ability to find that place because of all the noise, noise, noise. Yeah, I may have channeled Dr. Seuss on that one but you understand. You’ve tried without success to be still, but it is hard to be found oftentimes because our minds are the loudest noises we hear. You find yourself over-thinking a situation, a bible verse, a chore, a drive, or maybe loneliness. Those are noises that need to be quieted.

Now that I’m among millions in the throes of an illness, I seek even harder to find that silence brewing inside of me. Without my prayer and meditation, I would’ve never embarked on the journey of alternative treatment. I feel with every fiber of my being that God placed me on this path because He too knew I was ready. I cannot speak for others and their journey, or to those who have no God, I can only speak for myself because right at this moment in time, this is MY journey.

I try to share my journey with you so you can see that while I am one of the sinners and noisemakers of the day, I find that still small voice of God trumpeting in my ear for me to come and follow Him and it is only then that I can find solace in my healing journey. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory but I tell you now, even if it is the last resort for you, finding yourself at the mercy of Gods feet will find you some peace in moving forward on the railways of life. May you find the peace that a still small voice will give to you.

Pss. 32:7 "Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah."

Sometimes I Just Need A Break From...

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Sometimes I just need a break from…

… the disease

Apparently, it’s the disease ravishing the nation, running rampant through the bodies of millions, dripping from the eyes of everyone who is touched by the disease. Everywhere I turn the stupid word turns up. Cancer is taking over the airwaves more than diabetes, autism, or heart disease, the word is everywhere I look and is the very reason I won’t use it.

You’ll often read from me that I have this ‘crud’, or this disease, and maybe even call it ‘the C’ but rarely do I use the word cancer. Facing this mind-numbing illness by choosing to do everything non-conventionally I can’t help but see the word but I’ll be darned if I use it all the time. I don’t want to use the word out of denial or fear, oh no, I know this illness has me in its grips and is wrestling with the very cells of my being. I don’t use the word because I won’t own this parcel that has taken over my doorstep.

Sometimes I need a break from the disease that has taken over my body and will define the rest of my life partly I need a break because I’m drained from information overload. I wake every day and thank the Lord for giving me one more day and then I begin to write. As a writer, I dig into research before I place one word on my journaling pages and that can be more overwhelming than the diagnosis itself.

It has been six months since I was diagnosed and I have been working on healing myself inside and out. I didn’t allow the oncologist to drill in me their fear tactics of an imminent death sentence because I knew what attacked too many members of my family and it wasn’t the diagnosis that killed well over ten members it was the toxic chemical treatments. 

Research, research, and more research needs to be done for this battle to be won. The crud will not be the end of my journey. I have a rewarding purpose in life and defeat is not in my vocabulary unless I use it to say I am defeating the disheveled cells wreaking havoc on my body. But sometimes I just need a break from…the disease.

I know my extremely supportive friends understand if I don’t write every single day or if I sit silently as I scan my facebook news feed, they’re pretty awesome in understanding me. They tell me often how they could never do what I’m doing, or eat the foods I’m eating or even have the discipline to sacrifice what I do on a daily basis.

When I gave my life over to the Lord at the tender age of fourteen, my life took on a new shape a new meaning and pretty simply put became all about sacrifice. I’ve sacrificed so much over my life span and to me, it is all worth the journey because while many will die a fruitless death and be put into the cold ground to shiver their bones for eternity, I am promised eternal life. That for sure is my driving force as I’ve lived half of my life already.

If we as Christians are willing to sacrifice all for God, why are there many that won’t sacrifice lusts of the world, the cravings of their stomach, the feast of their eyes, the destruction of their souls? Why do they call me extraordinary when I am only doing my duty and being a dedicated servant to the temple entrusted to me to take care of?

Through my strength, I am shining a beacon of hope to those that might not have any. I am a pillar of brazen beauty flourishing in the road of turmoil. I am overcoming obstacles that were once thought impassable. I am showering the world with my faith and everything that holds me during these troubling times. May they see in me the God that I serve, the Spirit that dwells within me. I know my spiritual family will all understand if sometimes I just need a break from… the disease.

Matt. 6:20 “But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:”

The Results Are In

Acts 4:22 “For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed.”

The Results Are In

I can honestly say I patiently waited. I thought the doctor said she’d call Friday but I remembered I did ask for a written copy of the results because I do better visually seeing with my own eyes.

I felt good about the blood test because I know I’ve been doing everything and more to get this crud under control! In my mind, I shouldn’t even have this disease, this belongs to someone else. But such as it is, I got the diagnosis.

To many, this is the jaw dropping death sentence disease that no one wants but millions each year get and quite frankly, die. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, a million times if you’d let it sink into your brain, cancer does NOT kill, chemotherapy DOES! 

I’ll quit stalling because I know you all, my dear spiritual family, who has been with me through this illness these past six months, are as eager as I am to get the results, to actually SEE the results. Just so you know, by the end of the letter I received, the doc did encourage me to get treatment (chemo) for this disease but understood my want for alternative treatment first. She is a medical professional, I’d expect nothing less from her.

Now let me start out with, when you’re diagnosed with cancer, NOTHING is normal; no blood counts are normal, no vitamin counts, everything registers deficient.  That is another signal (besides the mammogram, CT scan, and biopsies) you have the ugly C or some other illness festering inside. Here are the results with comments from me in parentheses.

The letter started off…
Your white blood count including your INFECTION cells (CELLS), were NORMAL at 6,000. Normal range is 4,000 to 11,000.  (comment: mine is 6,000 meaning to me it is ascending daily or can stay where it is, normal range!)

Your hemoglobin was normal at 13.8 and your platelets were normal at 306,000. These should be between 150,000 and 400,00 (comment: I am almost ABOVE normal!)

Other lab testing included comprehensive metabolic panel which looks at your liver, kidneys and all of your electrolytes. Your blood protein ratio was a little bit off (not a lot). This can be affected by hydration, nutrition—this can be mildly affected. (you all know my diet, so this is a normal response, to me) Your liver function tests and your kidney function tests including your sodium, potassium, blood sugar and chloride were all normal! (Comment: this means the detoxification I’m doing is registering in my organs. This is a very good sign when these organs are functioning normally with this disease.)

Your vitamin b12 level was actually ABOVE normal range at 998. Normal range is 193-986. This is just fine to be slightly high. (comment: You bet it is! B12 is a major component of the vitamin that’s essential to fighting this disease. She even said that at the office.)

Your vitamin D level is at 37. Anything over 30 is considered normal. (Comment: Vit. D is another major nutrient component in the fight.)

Overall, all of these tests are essentially NORMAL!!! (my caps and exclamation marks)

Tears flooded from my eyes at this point! Six months of not knowing if what I’m doing was really working. Yes, I most certainly have faith it is, I can see things that SHOW me this diet, my eating habit change has all been working. How everything is just a part of a working machine that when taken care of properly it all works in order to heal.

She also added that while these tests were good, none can be a direct indicator of progressing cancer or improving (the immune system). She has to say that so she is not held liable in any way. I did tell her that I would hold myself directly responsible for whatever outcome happens. And well…it looks like I might be NORMAL after all, at least my blood is. * Big ol’ smile *

My God is an awesome God He reigns. I could not be doing what I’m doing without Him. Once again as so many other times in my life, He has NEVER let me down. My prayers have been answered and I walk along a tough road in faith but now I have actual tests to prove, what I’m doing is showing signs of working. Onward I go on the healing path I’ve chosen.

Thank you and God bless you all!

Luke 9:11 “And the people, when they knew it, followed him: and he received them, and spake unto them of the kingdom of God, and healed them that had need of healing.”

The Challenge

Pss.46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

The Challenge

When I was first diagnosed back in January, the first couple of days were filled with tears, sifting through junk, tossing unnecessary things out, feeling sorry for myself and accepting my impending demise. There’s nothing like a wake-up call when facing our own mortality.

I knew what the diagnosis was going to call for and pardon the pun but I was dead set against chemotherapy. My gut instinct told me that this was not my route, I had an even more challenging route to take.

The question was, am I up for the challenge? I had questions and needed to sort through the tangled mess. I needed to pray, meditate and trust. Trust all that God was going to tell me and be strong with whatever He told me. This is where discernment comes into play. Knowing what is from God and what is not!

I said to myself, if the oncologist is willing to work with me, I’ll go the chemo route. I have no idea about these matters or doctors in general so I seriously had no idea what I was thinking. I’ll say brain fog but the confusion was more than that, it was the stigma surrounding the diagnosis, inevitable doom.

The first oncologist flat out would not work with me or tell me anything I could do to help the chemo not have such extremely bad side effects. So I basically had my answer. Then I chose a second oncologists opinion just to be sure my alternative route was not something made up in my mind and that this is really the route God had planned for me. 

I prayed flat out, if this is the route to be set before me, let this oncologist be the one who will work with me. Again, the doctor threw his arms up and declared a stance of no there is no alternative, chemo can give you ten years of life. SAY WHAT? Ten years? Suppose I want twenty? Well, he assured me chemo could not guarantee me that far of a lifespan. From my research, I found that most assuredly the Big C would invade my body again somewhere else or some other illness would attack and take me out. Yes, dire prognosis to say the least.

I knew when I was first diagnosed the treatment *I* wanted to take and that was the health treatment. The oncologists cemented my decision. I wanted a treatment that will keep me feeling good every waking day until a doctor comes along and says, the disease has invaded your entire body and we can do nothing for you. I don’t see that happening because health over drugs is the way I NEED to go. God told me quite bluntly that it would be the challenge of my lifetime. 

My husband said something the other night, he asked, “Do you think more people choose chemo because it’s just easier than changing their diet?” I had to say, “It might be that and the fear and that they’re not offered any other option.” People, even at stage one are given a dire prognosis. They’re told that chemo is the only way to go, mainly because they [the doctors] themselves are NOT informed of any other way to go. They’re taught to push chemo and that is what they do to keep food on their plate and money in their pockets. 

I in no way think chemo is the ‘easier’ route. I think that is one of the most difficult things to do in your life, basically give yourself over to the medical profession, trust them, and they use you as a lab rat and with fingers crossed, hope you’re their success story. And we all know what happens when you’re not their success story right? You become a statistic. 

I think changing my diet is my only way out since I don’t see any other option. I told God I was up for the challenge and that is when He said, “I GOT THIS!” All the way, not a portion of the way down the road he’ll drop me like a potato sack on the side of the road and leave me for dead. Nope, we’re in this together, ALL THE WAY! 

My first step? See what other survivors who chose the alternative route have done! That is when I fell into the Chris Beat Cancer modules, for FREE mind you, right when I needed them! Also, that is when The Truth About Cancer modules fell into my lap, again, for FREE!!! Coincidence? I do not believe in coincidence! There is no such thing! 

Guide to clean and dirty fruits and veggies -  A great link with many more than the dirty dozen fruits and veggies. I've learned a lot in these past three months.

Here are some healthy recipes - An excellent link to eating healthy!  

After that my research was being dropped in my lap daily, I didn’t have to dig through articles and recipes, I rarely hit google search for anything because everything was either finding me or I fell upon it like finding a diamond in the coal mines. I don’t believe in luck either so what could this path be guiding me to or whom is the guide? GOD! Plain and simple, GOD! 

Everything happened in His time and in His way from the diagnosis to the healing, so I know it is He that is leading me down this path. Why? Because I need to show the unsuspecting, unknowing victims that there IS another choice! Don't let fear run your healing race. Take CONTROL of your destiny and stand firmly with God.

I’ve come across people who’ve said, “I live a vegan lifestyle and was still diagnosed!” 
I’m going to tell you all, it is NOT just about eating healthy! It is about balance, eating the right kind of meats sparingly, balancing the what and whens of eating.
It’s about healing past pains!
It’s about DETOXING your organs, because if you’re fighting this illness, then your organs are damaged and need mending.
It’s about finding the right vitamins, nutrients, herbs, fruits and vegetables and allow them to work WITH you. 
It’s about looking at the labels on foods and STOP eating processed food!
Stop feeding the disease and it will stop killing you.
It’s about being one with God and giving Him full control and trusting Him. A lot of people falter on this one for fear of giving up control of their illness. I hate to burst your bubble but God has been in control since conception!

 The Body Proves a Creator

No doctor will EVER tell you that nutrition will help you, you need a nutritionist for that and if you’re on a tight budget, you’re on your own, because nutritionists are far and few between.

Here’s a reasonable supplement store but again, read the labels, you want the purest possible:
I find my soaps and deodorants here also as well as Frankincense, Myrrh, Epsom Salt and Magnesium oil.

Pss. 45:8 “All thy garments smell of myrrh, and aloes, and cassia, out of the ivory palaces, whereby they have made thee glad.”

Here are some more added links you might find useful even if you’re not fighting the BigC. Changing your diet will help many illnesses including high blood pressure, heart disease, type2Diabetes and more!

The Health Benefits of Onions

My eight wonders of the world; yes all are a part of my daily new lifestyle

Is this path my easy way out? I think you’ll agree, it is a challenging route, to say the least, and no weaker person could be up to the challenge. Like fighting any illness, it is a challenge every day and one we must all take, on our own, if we are ever to live a normal, vibrant, pain-free life again.

1 Cor. 9:24 "Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain."

The Path To Success

Gen.1:29-31 “Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth.…To you it will be for meat." … And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”

The Path to Success

There is a path that leads to success. Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. With this aim to accomplishment in your hand, you will be led down a path, rocky at times, leading to success. Once you start down the path, don’t look back to see how far you’ve come, keep moving forward to see how far you have to go and even then, keep moving forward to maintain balance to the achieved goal.

The first thing you should do when diagnosed with this disease is to look within yourself and find your healing place. You will see this as a blow, you’ll cry and hurt, scream and yell but whatever you do, don’t blame God. He didn’t do this to you; you did this to you. Your doctor will seize this opportunity to instill fear in you and immediately lead you to oncologists where they will color your world in a darkened veil.

Job 19:8 “He hath fenced up my way that I cannot pass, and he hath set darkness in my paths.”

You have choices! Let me say that again, YOU HAVE CHOICES! The doctors will NOT give you those choices because they have one method of getting you to comply with them and that is fear. Please know, the MAJORITY of patients go the chemo route but for all the wrong reasons, in my eyes. You have time and choices! Remember, this didn't surface overnight, it isn't going to go away overnight. If you choose the chemo route, believe in it and work WITH it to HEAL your immune system. Don’t just accept drugs as the end all to healing, which is an extremely dim path.

If you opt for alternative treatments BELIEVE in the sunlit path to your healing taking place and work from within to heal you in your entirety. When I was first diagnosed, I personally did not accept the diagnosis or the treatment options. How can I be sick when I feel so well? If you’re in a good state or country, you might be able to find a doctor to work with you, but if not, you’re on what seems like a lonely path but you’re not alone! You’re never alone as long as you have God along with good friends and prayer by your side. 

The second thing you need to do is shift your mind from, ‘oh dear, I have the Big C’ (hear the negative overtone?) to, ‘I am healing my body and we are on a path to success.’ Believe those thoughts, inside and out!

No doctor is going to fill you with hope. He/she isn’t going to say you can do this, I see you as a productive member of society after all of this is over. No, he’ll tell you about the vomiting from the drugs, nausea, the hair loss, the weakness you’ll feel. This is all from drugs and chemo, not from the disease itself. They’ll also tell you that you need to be sliced open to remove cancer (which only opens you up to the silent spread) and you’ll need radiation to finish the job. Again, you HAVE CHOICES! There IS healing taking place outside of the oncologist/chemo route! Look for them, dig for them, find them.

Third, see yourself healthy and well! Look to the future. See yourself planting a garden, picking fruits and vegetables, jogging or walking. See yourself as HEALED, not as a person who is struggling and fighting off fear. Believe in yourself and ask your friends to support you. If you have no support the path is going to become a rocky road. You NEED support and positive energy to move you forward. 

Three tips to keep in mind as you HEAL:

(1) Your immune system must remain strong. So if you’re choosing chemo remember to do all you can to repair the damage done. If you choose an alternative method, you must BUILD your immune system up so it can fight for you, not against you. A drastic change in your diet and supplement intake is in order. You also need healthy organs in this fight, so build them up, one brick at a time.

(2) Nutrition is essential! Many people think you can’t eat your way back to health, they are wrong. Taking care of what you put into your body is the only path to healing. Your diet is a major reason you’re in this position in the first place. The people who are facing the disease appearing a second time after remission more than likely did nothing to change their eating habits and just assumed chemotherapy would cure what was burning up inside them. The cells are still there.
To the people using the alternative route, nutrition is the ONLY way to a healing path. It is so important not to feed the disease. Avoid sugars, dairy and meat products as well as processed foods, heavy carbs, oats, wheat, oils, and flours! 
Detoxify your body! Nurture your organs and they’ll heal you. The disease can’t live in a clean body.

(3) The most important thing I can add is no matter what you decide, get behind your decision all the way! Pray and meditate on releasing anything negative that you might be carrying around. Every day wake and find the positive reason why you woke up to face the day and challenges in front of you! Embrace the new you that is walking down this path. Get out and walk in the sun and worship the Son. It is pertinent that you have a Healer as a guide along the path. Keep in mind, a doctor is not a healer, they are a pacifier.

Most importantly of all is to believe in yourself. Trust what your body and instincts are telling you. If something feels wrong, ditch it, if it feels right, keep on going! The answer is inside you and it always has been, and always will be; you just need eyes to see and a soul to feel.

John 11:40 “Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?”

Signs and Wonder

Pss. 71:7  “I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge.”

SIGNS AND WONDER

I’m seeing the signs of healing and I wonder, is all of the hard work worth the time and effort to get to a healing point? I have to say yes because I know God has a purpose for everything. God uses pain and suffering to show you the miraculous. You might not see it as miraculous but trust me, to the individual the suffering is happening to, it is nothing short of a miracle.

It has been three months since the devastating blow to my ego, to my everyday life, to my harmonious routine, the blow to the core of my being. Why hadn’t I seen the signs leading up to this prognosis? Why did I ignore my instinct when any other time I listen wholeheartedly? I’ll tell you why I didn’t want it to be true. 

Back when I did a post Putting the Puzzle Together it made me think of those little pictures I used to do to connect the dots and in connecting the dots it formed a picture? Remember those? I used to have big thick coloring books filled with them. I loved putting puzzles together too and there is nothing worse than getting to the end of the puzzle and finding you’re missing a couple of pieces, or in connecting the dots you missed a number and the picture isn’t fully complete. 

I traced the puzzle pieces all the way back to childhood trauma of injury and the rancid acts of sexual abuse and have been mentally working on those elements to heal portions of me that need mending but I see I’ve missed a couple of pieces that were instrumental in completing the puzzle namely psoriasis. Why had I skipped it and left that major piece of the puzzle out? Shame? Embarrassment? 

In the past three months of researching the causes of this illness, I found a missing puzzle link in the fungal skin disorder psoriasis and another one in underwire bras. I know right, who would’ve thought? I’ve worn underwire bras my whole life and thought nothing of the warnings that they could cause breast cancer. I just thought they were trying to scare people but now I think differently. 

I have bought hundreds of bras in my lifetime and some have padding in them BUT there is a slot where you can slip out the padding? You ladies know what I’m talking about? Well, there are no slots to slide out the underwire. I hope by this posting and putting the thought out there, it will soon come to fruition and makers of bras will make slots to REMOVE the underwire, to protect women instead of worrying about making money off of them. 

As much as the Big C is a billion dollar industry, so are women’s breasts! We have organizations that fight for animal rights, for abortion laws, we have people fighting for the food industry but why are women not fighting for their dignity back? They continue to allow men to demean them in ways of Fredrick’s of Hollywood, where they are allowed television time to be displayed and flaunted all the way down to fast food restaurants like Hooters and Twin Peaks. It’s demeaning and degrading and women worldwide are allowing this to happen.

While I’ve made marked changes in my undergarment wearing, I’m seeing the signs of healing and no longer wonder. Rarely in my lifetime has my psoriasis cleared up, but now it has been clearing. I had irregular periods last year (due to being perimenopausal) but recently it has returned, when it would stop for months at a time. There are signs I need to look for since I have no doctor willing to do any tests to see my progress, I need to be vigilant and actually look and SEE the signs of changes. Hopefully, I’ll listen to my instincts this time if it tells me this alternative method is not working. Right now, it IS working and my healing is moving forward.

I’m aching in places that fill me with wonder. Every bump I feel, I wonder. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth, I wonder. Every day that passes I wonder. The difference is this, I don’t wonder out of fear, I wonder out of expectancy… the expectancy of HEALING taking place!  

Pss. 139:6  “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Questions and Answers

Pss. 145:17-18 KJV “The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.”

Questions and Answers

I think people have more questions than I do answers but I will try my best to give you the most asked questions as I face this battle of a lifetime. I don’t mind answering questions as long as you don’t counter with a negative response, it could cost me what I deem a valuable friendship.

Question: What made you opt out of doing chemo?

Answer: Well, as the oncologist would have me believe, fear. You see they instill fear so you react in fear. Meaning, they give you dire consequences before allowing you to think for yourself and possibly finding an alternative route. 
What made me opt out? Prayer, God’s answers to my prayers, and finding that there ARE options that the doctor’s don’t allow people the chance to know. 

Question: Are you sure you’re not reacting in fear? What makes you so confident?

Answer: Let me ask you, what would make YOU choose chemo, and be honest? How would YOU react and WHY? 
For me, the doctors handed me a dire diagnosis in my eyes. They wanted me to act quickly, so quickly red flags went up in my head overriding the fear. All I asked for is TIME; time to think things through. Their reactions of  ‘Joni’s not committing’ and words like ‘all I hear is fear in your voice, let us help you’, again raised red flags. THEY are the ones I fear; not the diagnosis. I knew right then and there God was answering my prayer. ‘Don’t do it’ He said. So I opted to ‘Just Say No To Drugs’; a motto that carries a lot of weight with me, a thirty-year reformed drug addict.

1 John 5:14, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (NIV)

Question: Why do you have such confidence that you’ll beat this?

Answer: My faith gives me confidence. I’ve been through so much in my life that God has led me through, walked with me, never once led me astray, and now has chosen to lead me again, so I go with confidence in my Lord.

Question: Are you saying my faith isn’t as strong as yours?

Answer: In NO WAY am I saying my faith is stronger. We each individually have our own strengths and weaknesses. Your faith is not my faith and my faith is not your faith. As unique as this diagnosis is to every person, so is our faith and so we must do what we feel is right to US. I would never judge you for choosing chemo, or drugs for what ails you. This is MY walk and MY path and I’m just sharing with you on MY journey. If you ask for what is working for me, by all means, I’ll give you an honest answer but don’t be surprised if it turns into a God talk. *smile* 

Question: Why don’t you say the  C word, is it fear?

Answer: Saying the word c-a-, yeah I can’t even write it; it is not fear that drives me, it is empowerment. If I say it, over and over again, I’m owning the disease. I will not own this illness, this is going to flee from me and it will be the diagnosis and word for other people, just not me. Don’t judge me.

Question: How will you know you’re healed? What does your doctor say?

Answer: Like everything else in my life, I will let God tell me. I prayed for healing and He says through His stripes I am HEALED and I believe that with every fiber of my being. 
My doctor’s not surprisingly have disowned me, washed their hands of me. I imagine them pouting because they failed the pharmaceutical company that drives their pocketbook, but seriously, they’ve moved onto their next victim to instill FEAR into. 
I asked my GP if there were test she could do as I face my recovery and she said flat out, NO, there is no test. Hmm… no scans? No blood test? No measurement? No, nothing? I find that odd! They sure had a lot of toxic tests to diagnose me, but now that I’ve refused chemo, there is no test to see how I’m HEALING?
Again, I’m going to trust God on this one. The One who has NEVER let me down!

Question: What are you doing to heal?

Answer: For one, I searched and researched facts! Second, it is a fact that diet plays a key role in the c-factor. No refined sugars, no carbs, no dairy, no meat, no processed food, no grains (grains are sprayed with pesticides). All toxins need to be eliminated to the BEST of your ability. I switched immediately to a majority of all organic fruit and vegetable diet! Only recently have I allowed, non-chemical laden chicken and eggs into my diet, only because MY BODY was/is telling me what to eat and drink!
I drink purified water, green tea, detox tea, and hibiscus tea. Exciting sounding, isn’t it?
I wash my body with my new Almond soap (no toxic chemicals). I’ve changed deodorant; I now use lavender spray. I have an essential oil diffuser to cleanse the house of toxic mold and pesticides from the fields sneaking into the house. I also now exercise. I take two twenty-minute walks a day (it started out as one fifteen minute walk), weather pending!
I’m taking supplements and I’ve recently discovered the healing power of the sounds of meditative multidimensional music. (No, not rock or classical). Music being used as a healing power, who would’ve thought? Me, that’s who! Yeah, I’m weird like that. 
I’m listening. My body is telling me what I need and God has a trumpet in my ear telling me “You are HEALED! You are HEALTHY! You are WELL!” Onward Christian soldier I go, marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before. 

Question: Can you tell us the supplements you use? 

Answer: Maybe in another post (too many to mention) as I’m putting together facts for my book I’m writing so I need all of the facts and where I’ve been getting my information to take such supplements. I’m not going into this with blinders on and neither should you if ever diagnosed. Get educated! Gain knowledge! Walk with God!

Question: Don’t you need surgery? Are you going that route?

Answer: My body says NO! The doctor wants to slice me open but in all of my research, I found that it may cause the cells to spread out and go into other parts of my body. No chemo, no radiation, and no slice and dice! Fact: the tumor is not the disease! The tumor is a RESULT of damaged sick cells. Cells are tiny as dust motes. When doctors slice and dice, they take more out even if you say no, they are their own god’s and perform as such. My God is healing all of me not just a portion of me!

Question: Isn’t that asking a lot of your God? 

Answer: A RESOUNDING NO! My God created the universe. Was it too big of a job? Certainly not. He created you and every thread of DNA. Too big of a job? Not in any way, shape or form. My God is an awesome God, He reigns! 

You are free to ask me questions but this topic is not open for debate. I feel debates have a negative overtone and there is no healing in negativity! Am I crazy? Some might say I am, others say I’m brave and courageous, I say I’m just listening, to God, to my body, and the TRUTH! 

All praise and Glory to God in the highest heaven! 

Pss. 9:1 "I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works."

The Path To Healing

Prov. 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

The Path to Healing

I myself am on the path to healing. My body is reacting to all the good I’m doing for it and yes, I’m sacrificing my (once thought of) sinful pleasures in life, mainly sugar, processed food, high carb intake, toxic GMO meat and dairy intake.

The willpower it takes to go Cold Turkey is basically almost impossible but I’m of the school, ‘With God, NOTHING is impossible’! Forward I go as I tackle full steam ahead the ‘illness of a lifetime’.

So many people are misled, they are all too willing to believe chicken little knew what he was shouting out from the rooftops that the sky was falling. This is how people see the world, they put so much faith and belief in lies that when the truth slaps them in the face, (the sky can NEVER fall), they become defensive in their fight to be right.

I myself am wrong more than I am right, obviously. I am NOT a doctor, nor claim to be one in this box you come to for a daily fix, I am LEARNING as I go along and if it works for me, yay me! If it doesn’t work for you, I’m not responsible, dig deeper to see what DOES work for you. I will not resort to name-calling as that is a juvenile behavior adults carry with them from childhood and never learn to let go and let God. I pray for them. I pray for a nation, a world that always buys what they are sold, and at a bargain price no less, namely putting a price tag on their life.

You might ask if I’ve given up all of the above listed foods, what is left to eat? First and foremost GOD is my guide before anything this here computer can offer me. That’s right, the Bible tells me what to eat, what is good for me and what WILL HEAL ME! Yes, the Bible says to eat meat but it was not talking about twenty-first century GMO laden chemical meat.

Some days it gets so hard for me, I cry, I bawl my eyes out. My face planted in my palms I admit defeat. I admit that it’s hard to go on every single day watching the world go by frivolously and me out here trying to live and people not understanding the lengths one has to go through to rid themselves of toxins in the world. Whether it’s toxic people, (including doctors), toxic food, or a toxic environment, it’s a struggle. Like feet in quicksand and me, trying to run, and there is no way to accomplish the feat. 

Imagine what life in a straightjacket must feel like. Knowing the key to unlocking the system is right there but you fight and struggle to free yourself and people walk by poking you, tormenting you as you wriggle and squirm. This is the suffocating life of a person fighting for their life, every single day!

What do I do? I breathe, slowly and deeply – I eat, I drink the well waters of Christ, I touch – the very thread of His garment, I’m filled. I meditate on Him, His Word. I grasp all that I’m shown. It may not be for you to see, we all have different walks, different paths. I can only share what is working for ME!

Pss. 1:2 “But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”

What I eat? The greens of the earth from organic broccoli and lettuce, to cabbage, cauliflower and a host of other vegetables found in the produce section of the food store. Fruits, the natural sugars that God placed on this earth to sustain our need, our want for this sInsational taste bud arousal. (Yes grammar Nazi’s, I meant SINsational!) Fruit, so good it should be a sin to send this delectable treat into your body but instead it is nutrition. Nutrition, something you won’t find in the processed food section of the store.

If I can’t afford to buy organic fruits and vegetables, I go to a better grocery store where they actually take the time to bring you the BEST fruits and vegetables possible, remember their name is being held up to scrutiny so they do their very best for you, the consumer! My husband just so happens to work in a high-end grocery story out here. Our basics are bought at the WalMart supercenter but when this illness hit me, it’s his place of work where we found an incredible difference in our fruits and vegetables. The organic section isn’t closet sized like Walmarts, no, there is a HUGE section of organic fruits and veggies at hubby’s place of work, HyVee! More on that at another time. 

After a day of tear shedding for me yesterday, my husband who is trying so hard to be supportive in what has evidently turned our mundane routine lives upside down, picked out a movie to watch. Inside Out was his choice. We’ve seen it numerous times and I knew what message he wanted to get to me. Behind every tear is JOY! Every moment of sadness is followed by a moment of relief when you see the JOY standing there. I need to feel the sadness, experience the loss, of food, toxins, bitter friends and toxic people; I need to grieve if I’m ever to find a complete JOYFUL HEALING! 

The only place I find MY healing, is God and ALL that He has given us and shown us to be the truth! All praise and glory to God!

1 Tim. 4:15 “Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.”

Putting The Puzzle Together

2 Cor. 8:2 “How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.”

Putting the Puzzle Together

A lot of the time people ask, ‘why God, why me’ but me I ask what in the world did I do wrong? Then, as in years past, I begin to lay the puzzle pieces scattered about on the table, in this case, string together words, facts, and such, and begin to put the puzzle together.

Maybe this diagnosis was to get me to open my eyes and visually SEE all the wrong I’ve been doing over the years, mainly my eating habits. Connecting my ills to my eating habits was just one piece of the puzzle but we’re talking about a lifetime of puzzle pieces here. Research has helped me connect the dots.

First, let me say, I cannot say enough about The Truth About Cancer! If it was not for them educating me in all I NEED to know to battle this crud, I’d be sitting here today a victim of chemotherapy. I think it started with Chris Beat Cancer but I also think those two are now awesome collaborators together! They are shaking this disease up and making a true mark on the illness! Want to know what the BEST part of these two teaming up? They are BELIEVERS in God!

I am nine weeks into my HEALING and at this time I would have had two rounds of chemo, nearing my third. I’d be curled up in a ball, relinquished to my bedroom and on drugs to keep me from vomiting my guts out. The clumps of hair would have begun lining and clogging the tub, the weight loss would be from the toxic input of chemo, and I would now be a toxic fume in my house bothering the tenants with the remnants of odors emanating from me. It’s called second-hand chemo – and yes there is facts to back this up!

Instead, nine weeks out I’m walking twice a day, eating right and healthy, listening to calming music, healing parts of myself that I didn’t know needed healing, and finding supplements that will be a part of aiding my healing. But first, I need to know how I got this disease in the first place and TTAC has a module series (I’ve watched twice, for free!) that has helped me immensely understand these puzzle pieces. 

I have God front and center in this journey so don’t think for a minute I’m just listening to the worldwide web for my healing. God is first and foremost, front and center! My spirit-filled world is absorbing the healing and I’m being led to give YOU a message. It’s a win/win situation.

I’ve heard, on too many sites to list, that the disease has been inside me for a very long time. I needed to go back and see where it all began as POSSIBLE reasons. To begin to tie it all together were the vaccines we as children that we were given, mainly the polio vaccine. That’s just one tiny piece of the puzzle. And don’t worry, there are many government websites to say this is a fabricated lie, but who will you believe is up to you.

Another piece of the puzzle was traumatic events as a child, possibly before five years old. Now take note, these are not the CAUSES of this disease, they are merely contributing factors. These are pieces of the puzzle that many won’t look into, they will just hear the diagnosis and trust the oncologists with their fear, slaughter, and poison tactics and ‘get cured’. It’s NOT going to happen! If you haven’t looked into, researched and HEALED the cause, there is nothing in this world capable of finding a cure.

I had a traumatic event happen when I was three and a half, I won’t go into too much detail here, I’m saving it for the novel portion of my tale. I was being pushed too high on one those old aluminum swings. I feared it being tipped as I was being pushed too high. I jumped, catching and splitting open my wrist. Long story short, I now have the scars on my left wrist (I’m left-handed, BTW) looking to some as if I was suicidal at times. (a whole different story there) Rest assured, three and a half, traumatic event, another piece of the puzzle.

The next piece of the puzzle is the correlation to a loss. At sixteen the loss of a child had to top the traumatic events in my so far, short life; then another loss of a child at thirty-seven which is enough to cause anyone to be put out to pasture. Nope, not me, I kept fighting and standing strong. My Lord will protect me and He did! Many people around me wanted me to be mad at God but it is when He made me the strongest! 

Apparently, my puzzle is one of those fifteen hundred piece puzzles or more! 
The next piece of the puzzle is dentistry. From mercury fillings of which I had too many to number, to the root canals that I had, to the major dental infection I had just five or six years ago!

Then there is the messed up spinal column. Ironically, my back pain began right around the time of my major gum infection. Coincidence? I don’t, DO NOT believe in coincidences! This is when I began my B12 consumption because I read that the nutrient could repair nerve damage. I attribute vitamin B12 with my never needing drugs for my pain because it worked!

And now, here I am with the disease of a lifetime. I’ve connected the dots from birth until now and now KNOW the cause that led to this. Keep in mind, we all have different dots to connect. As unique as this disease is to every person, so is the treatment for each individual and the very reason you shouldn’t choose chemo because of FEAR! A decision made out of fear is usually the WRONG decision to make.

Now that I know the CAUSE, I will put a little physics into the equation! The action causes a reaction! (Sue me, I use too many exclamation points.) My EUREKA moment for all to behold!!! The actions of HEALING my body, inside and out, will cause a REACTION, inside and out. Praise be to GOD!

1 Pet. 4:12 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:”

Let Go And Let God: Willpower

Matt. 4:23 “And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.”

Let go and let God: My Willpower

Okay, I realize now I’m the strong one. What would knock someone out completely has me falling apart for a day, maybe, then jumping back up and coming out swinging! Do you remember those weighted punching bags you’d hit over and over and they’d bounce right back in your face? Yup, that’s me!

I have to attribute my strength to God because He is all I’ve known all of my life. He gives me strength to go on in life day after day when a lot of people would rather just give up. I can’t give up, I have a purpose! (No, Naven jokes please.)

I see so many people struggling and only wish I could reach out and help but right now I am so focused on my healing I feel reaching out and giving my ‘Let go and let God sermon’ might be hurtful to a non-believer or a person who just doesn’t want to hear those words. He is all I know, so if you come to me for advice, if you look to me for inspiration, all that you will see is my sermon in action, I let go and let God be the driver every single minute! 

I didn’t give him much credit in driving my willpower vehicle. I didn’t even think I had any. I had hit a brick wall and I was repairing my banged up vehicle when the diagnosis of a lifetime came tapping on my door. I realized right then and there that God pushed me out of the driver seat (because after all, I did bang up my vehicle pretty bad) and He was willing to repair the damage I caused, as always.

What happened the day after my diagnosis is this, I saw a thread on grandma’s afghan. With curiosity in my fingertips, eyebrows raised, I pulled the string to see just where this path was going to lead me. Wouldn’t you know, in two months time the afghan is almost completely unraveled as I am on a warpath of HEALING! 

My first step was taking the afghan and wrapping it around me for warmth. I prayed. I normally pray for everyone else but the next few days my prayer vigil was consumed with me. I prayed for me; for insight, for strength, knowledge, healing and a host of other things. Don’t get me wrong, I put aside time to pray for others in the day but honestly, my prayer was for me the majority of the time.

I was living my sermon, let go and let God. I released everything in a weeks time when I had to visit onc. #1. Sure, she knocked me down like the punching bag but prayer, friends, and love had me rebounding! 

I knew there were things I’d have to do to see this healing through. A drastic change would have to take place and I’d have to pull every bit of strength from the very fiber of my being to tackle this; willpower! Let go and let God!

Healing takes more than taking supplements and I knew this. I’ve learned how other people were healing and what they did, my prayers were being answered daily as I was led to one healing place or another and my willpower kicked into high gear as I put my sermon into action. God was in the driver seat and I was trusting Him as each thread of the afghan was coming unraveled. 

I was being led to Dr. Mercola, Ty Bollinger (The Truth About Cancer), and Chris Wark (Chrisbeatcancer) among other sites that I’d use in my fight against the Nazi oncology invasion! I say Nazi Oncology not loosely, I use it factually. 
From google: “When did chemotherapy start?
The era of cancer chemotherapy began in the 1940s with the first use of nitrogen mustards and folic acid antagonist drugs. Cancer drug development has exploded since then into a multibillion-dollar industry.”

Did you read that, a multi-billion dollar industry? Did you know we basically funded the annihilation of millions of people in Germany? It’s amazing what a little research will find. 

What do the Nuremberg Trials have to do with doctors and Bayer pharmaceuticals? CLICK the links to LEARN. the Doctor's and the Natural News the Big Pharma. 

I do not CARE how much fake science says that mustard gas and chemo are the way to sending this disease into ‘remission’ note, not CURING. I have a spiritual God who has and WILL and does DAILY overthrow false, manipulated science and all they try to mislead people into believing. Pluto not a planet, anyone?

Why would God lead me down this path of discovery if he WANTED me to do chemo? Would He falsely mislead me, would God now become a deceiver in my life? Could satan be using my STRONG faith against me and lead me to this place? The answer is NO! God is, and always will be in control of MY vehicle! And please, your opinion and lack of trust and faith in the God I believe in wholeheartedly will not sway my decision in moving forward with HIM! 

Why would I be led to Spiritually Healing the wrongs in my past? Why would I be led to turmeric, Frankincense, myrrh and the numerous other healing supplements? Why would I be allowed to HEAL if this was not from God? I only know of One Healer! Jesus HEALED the maimed, the blind, the demon possessed, the woman who bled for twelve years, Jesus was put here on this earth to HEAL and that is EXACTLY what is happening to me right this moment! Yes, I DID sign up for the weekly newsletter and FREE report in the link above, TYVM!

When people see me, they see God in action, healing taking place, the strength of my willpower to overcome what ails me. What they don’t see is the clawing my way out of the hell that science and man has placed as an obstruction. People don’t see me daily fighting the enemy. Taking the good and the bad is all the form that willpower takes and the positive truth wins in the end! 

To find the truth that our country, our very government, keeps from us has to be dug up, researched and researched because I think we all know, our governments LIE to us and keeps the truth hidden!

Why is there successful cancer treatment centers in Tijuana Mexico? Why are the Germans leading the cutting edge technology in finding a CURE for cancer? Why is the world finding healing spots for individuals but America doesn’t WANT to find healing for the sick? I’ll tell you why I can’t find a HEALING practitioner in Nebraska, MONEY! It all boils down to where the money is at and HEALING is NOT where the money is, pacifying the Big Pharma corporations is and getting people suckered into a $315,000 YEARLY chemo cancer treatment, per patient is where all the money is! Keeping people addicted to drugs is where the money is located. And you’re wondering why I’m choosing God to treat and HEAL me? Because it is HIM whom I trust more than ANYONE!

In the coming posts, I will show the non-toxic supplements I’m using. I’ll let you into my wonderful herbivore world with the meals that are sustaining me. I’ll allow you to see the spiritual aspects of my healing from prayer to nature’s essential oils, from healing music to physical exercise and the new lease I have on life with my strengthened-everyday-willpower. You can't heal a portion of the body to heal the entire body. One must heal the WHOLE ENTIRE body; mind, body, and spirit! 

Gen. 1: 29 “And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”

I am winning the battle, although the road is still long, and the finish line is far off downstream, I’m visibly HEALING. At times when I see one set of footprints, it is then that God is carrying me! This week, with the clouds, rain, and dampness, God has asked me to rest. Not from writing, from walking. He knows how determined I am so He’s asked me to take a small break to allow more healing to take place. Today marks nine weeks—on we go friends. 

God bless every one of you on the journey He’s placed you! 

Rev. 22: 2 “In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

*edited because it is important to the Grammar Nazi's that my words be perfect. 

Who Would've Thought

Gen 1:29 "And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat."

Who Would’ve Thought?

Who would’ve thought when our mothers were raising us and telling us to ‘eat our vegetables’, that she was really protecting us from the harmful toxins we were putting in our bodies in the process? I bet she didn’t even know why she was telling us other than she knew, ‘vegetables were good for us.’ But she's also the one who used lard for cooking. 

Did you know that the majority of illnesses, MAJORITY of all illnesses are CAUSED from the toxins that we’ve put into our bodies? From Asthma to migraines, from anxiety to depression, from heart disease to cancer, all stem from the toxic food that you and I have put into our bodies and the reaction of illness is from the depletion of healthy antioxidants that aid your immune system in fighting off the enemy of illnesses. What do you think heart disease is caused from? Fats! And type 2 diabetes? For my mother, it was sugar and salt intake.

Drinking water:  

sauerkraut:

fermented foods: 

essential oils: 

Cauliflower Pizza:

Welcome to healthy living:

Sauerkraut fighting cancer?:

Reasons to eat Olives! 

The Truth About Cancer and Vit. C:

Who would’ve thought that when we took our first breath, God already mapped out our life? You want an example? This is MY proof that God had all of this planned for me before I was born, read into what you will. 
On March 23rd, Joni was born on her mother’s birthday. The sixth child, the baby of the family.
Vacation Bible School ruled the summers before entering grade school.
As Joni grew, her first thru eighth grade were spent in a Catholic school where she was molded and groomed. Besides intelligence, her religious element was being shaped.
Enter 9th-grade Christian school a fourteen-year-old Christian emerged born again of clay and further shaping took place. 
The writer was born from childhood—way before ninth grade- more like first grade.
Overcame obstacles of an unhealthy lifestyle and life choices with the help of the Lord. Note: The unhealthy foods I ate all of my life are what created the illness I’m fighting today! Also note: Cancer is man made not God made. 
Today, the benefit of being a writer is still shaping who I become later in life. Without the knowledge of doing research (all good writers do research as a part of presenting the TRUTH to the reader), I would not have the willpower to fight this illness that has taken over my body. I would have succumbed to man.

God KNEW I would be a writer and how I’d use it, along with Him, for my complete healing! Knowledge is POWER! 

Who would’ve thought that our beloved government would be the ones poisoning us? Putting fluoride in our drinking water, allowing pesticide-treated crops to be placed on our dinner table, allowing chemically enhanced meat on our grocery shelves, and allowing insurance and pharmaceutical companies to drain every penny of soldiers, elderly, poor and the sick. By the way, THEY (the government) made everyone sick, to begin with! 

Who would’ve thought that God already knew man would destroy man ever so cunningly and that what was going to happen to mankind in the twenty-first century! And the very reason He had it written in scripture the foods we could eat, the bread we could eat, the meat, the vegetables, the herbs, and spices.

Meat to eat KJV: 

For those who need an easier read ERV: 
Shrimp, lobster, crabs anyone?

Even the BEST of Christians (including myself) defy God’s word. 
Lev. 11: 7 “And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he [is] unclean to you.”
Pork, ham, bacon, sausage anyone? 

To make yourself feel better, this is what the New Testament says about meat. To taste heaven, it doesn't matter what we eat or drink. We don't find favor by our acts, in other words, we can't EARN our way into heaven. Maybe the food we eat doesn't matter for our entering heaven but rest assured, it DOES matter whether we live a healthy life or that of an unhealthy lifestyle. And I believe THAT is the reason we were informed in the Old Testament. Again, you will read into it what you will. 

Who would’ve thought that man would be so defiant? Our overweight western nation is proof that man (and woman) is defiant against what the Lord wanted for us, He knew what we’d need to fight the illnesses and what we’d eventually open our eyes and see as truth. Why does He say so many times, you sleeping nation, you sleeping people, AWAKEN????? Because God KNEW thousands of years ago that we were a defiantly defiled bunch!

Who would’ve thought that He’d use this little lady right here, the writer, the blogger, the Godly woman to bring to you a message? God knew that’s who would’ve known. After all, look who He used to pen the scripture.

My Inner Strength

2 Sam. 22:33 “God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.”

My Inner Strength

I remember as a child my sister would always tell my mother, “Let Joni do it, she’s the strong one.” Even now, with this diagnosis, my sister told her daughter, “Joni will beat this, she’s the strong one.” This is the reason I’ve yet to tell my mother anything about this, she’s not the strong one. 

I always felt like my older sister looked up to me because she sees me as the strong one. She always turned to me whenever she had any problems whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, or psychologically. I’m the baby and my family always looked up to ME because I was deemed the strong one, the one looked to in a time of need, the one once depended upon.

That’s a lot of weight for the baby of a family of eight, including my mother and father. I was the one full of courage; the thread that kept the blanket together and when I left the family unraveled one string at a time. They more than likely wouldn’t admit to the downfall of the family to my leaving them but honestly, if they look closely they’d see the total demise coincide with my leaving home.

Job 4:4 “Thy words have upholden him that was falling, and thou hast strengthened the feeble knees.”

I wonder now if I wasn’t led away from home and my family to build up that inner vitality because God knew I would need all my strength for right now, this place and at this time! When God told me to leave all of my possessions behind I did, going to Texas with the clothes on my back and some toys and clothes for my son. 

Looking back now I see God’s handiwork as He molded and shaped each instance to bring about an inner tenacity that I would need for this exact time in my life. He was building a solid palace and what I left behind was a shell of a straw hut. My family had drained me and I needed this stability to carry me through all that I’m enduring now.

Pss. 40:2 “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”

When I was diagnosed I could have crumbled, fell to my knees and allowed the doctors to carry me away in handcuffs and lead me to my death. Instead, I found this amazing inner muscle to stand firm, rise and announce that I was going to heal with the Lord’s handiwork. Was I crazy? What was I thinking? Where on earth did I find the willpower to fight what I deem the strong arm of the law, the doctors? 

Let me tell you, when I was a child I had to fight off sexual predators on a daily basis. I had to fight with superhuman brawniness and stand up to my parents for my faith when they were of a completely opposite religion. When I lost my first child many wanted me to fall; when the Lord and I overcame drug addiction and alcoholism they wanted me to buckle. Depression? Fought and won! I was supposed to do everything the way they were normally done with doctors, medication and follow along in life on a leash like a nice little puppy.

2 Sam. 22:40 “For thou hast girded me with strength to battle: them that rose up against me hast thou subdued under me.”

Instead, I busted through the ashes, I stood with the Rock of my Salvation after fifty years of struggling against what the world wanted me to be, normal. I was in no way normal and I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to make such a statement. Nothing about God or Jesus is normal; nothing about the Omniscient Lord is normal, and I’m honored to not be normal with Him!

So when people look at me and ask where I find the ironclad strength to go on, I tell them, God. Where and how do I stand against what is ‘expected’ of me, God. God has NEVER put a leash around my neck to lead me astray. He’s never fed me lies so that I looked good to the people. He has made me abnormal for all the world to look at, laugh and scoff, and tempt me with lies and feed me the poisons of a system gone wrong.

You might ask why would a loving God do that to a person? So you can SEE Him, all his Healing Power, all His Glory, and all of His Saving grace. He didn’t whip me into submission; I followed Him willingly on my own because I found an inner strength and serene peace there, in His arms. I could have bailed at any time for an easier life but I chose the hard road because the hard road was going to make me STRONG and THIS is where I find my Inner Strength! 
All praise and Glory to God! 

1 Chron. 29:12 “Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all.”

Fear Tactics Used

Beauty in the dark. Concordia, Kansas

1 Sam. 22:23 “Abide thou with me, fear not: for he that seeketh my life seeketh thy life: but with me thou shalt be in safeguard.”

Fear Tactics Used

From day one, January 25 was riddled in fear tactics. Now I'd like the doctors to know what it felt like rushing me from one test to the other in tears, telling me I have a dreaded disease but, ‘we’ll be with you all the way,’ is all they offered and I haven’t seen one of them since the 25th of January.

Couldn’t the doctor have sent me straight for the biopsy? Why did I need a mammogram, CT scan, blood test AND a biopsy to confirm my diagnosis, all in one day? I’ll tell you why, to elicit fear. The BC doctor used fear the very first day by forcing me into a whirlwind of tests in my confused weakened state. I was told I had a dreaded disease then shuffled around like meat in a slaughterhouse.

That was their tactic from the get-go and it became obvious with the onc. #1 visit. She was full of the words you need to instill fear. Onc. #2 was an intimidating, overbearing older man and he knew what he was doing too. Instill fear in this little lady and she’ll be eating out of the palms of our hands like the fragile bird that she is. When onc. #2 called onc. #1 autistic, I knew something was wrong with these people’s minds. Name calling, really?

What they weren’t counting on was this fragile looking flower being one of the strongest people they more than likely will ever meet! The people they meet are scared and rightly so, they have been told all of their life that this illness will kill and maim them, so we’re going to poison your system and it will make you all better. Oh no wait, they don’t use the word poison. They use words like life or death. This will cure you. You’ll live. 

I still can’t figure that one out how poison cures. How can poisoning your body heal you? When you ask about the poison, they colorize the version. Like going from black and white to rainbows. When you question the poison and the damage it causes, they stumble to search for the right words to hook you. There’ll be no damage, your body will heal and repair from the toxins. Did you know that one spill of the juice, that is marked with skull and crossbones, can kill the administering person of the toxins? This is what they want to put in your veins, people!

When you suggest alternate routes they are adamant that this is a life and death situation and you need this poison! Even though later in life after you’re ‘healed’ you’ll be hit with Alzheimer’s, bronchitis, emphysema, you name it, a host of illnesses await you after the chemo route. You have no immune system to fight at this point. 

You know, I haven’t cried since I saw onc. #2. There is a pattern to my days of crying. The BC doctor visit, the onc. #1 visit, and the onc. #2 visit. Hmm, interesting. Why did they instill so much fear that I left in tears and WANTING to die? Don’t worry folks, I rebounded with a good nights sleep each time and woke rejuvenated in the hands of the Lord WANTING to live.

When I tell the doctors that I want to do this or that, they shrug it off and say no, no, no, you need US! You need chemotherapy and that is the only thing you need to get through this. I’ve read, witnessed, saw too much to take their word for it so thus I began my research. 

And here I am, feeling the best I’ve ever felt, twelve pounds lighter (unintentional, mind you) from healthier eating! I’m putting my mind at peace, my body is responding and there is a healing going on, on so many levels. I want to go back in a year, two years, five years and say to the doctors, here I am, still! 

Healing my mind, body, and soul, one step at a time. Now many who know me, knows I haven’t spoken to anyone in my family (besides my mother), since 2015 when my dad passed away. Not because of animosity, it's just that’s the way we are, we go our own way, and we’re fine with it. Well this weekend was my sisters’ birthday and I called her, kind of shocked her but it was like we had been speaking all these years. We still love each other and that's all that matters. 

I feel like I need to let them know I love them, whether they care for me or not, I care for them. The next step will be calling my brother and asking to do a Skype chat with my mother. That will really excite her to SEE me! She is not tech savvy and the tablet my brother bought her to use just sits in a wasteland.

Tomorrow marks seven weeks since the diagnosis. I’m still on my no sugar diet, and my target each day is zero carbs, but the most I get in an entire day is maybe five. I’ve allowed to my healing diet free-range vegetarian fed chickens eggs, two to be exact, for breakfast. The first two weeks were JUST veggies, and now I allow fruit and only the alkaline fruit that I NEED to beat this worm that has taken up residence in my body.

I am up to about fourteen supplements a day. As some may worry that these supplements might be toxic to my system, please understand, your prescribed drugs are more toxic than any God-given vitamin and herb and yes, four doctors are aware of what I’m using. You know what the doc’s say about the supplements I’m using? That I won’t need them if I go the healing-by-chemo-poison-my-system route because chemo heals everything! What they don’t add is what chemo KILLS! There are zero deaths from turmeric, vit. C, vit. D and such.

The supplements I use are not the mass manufactured at WalMart brand, I seek out the purest of vitamins and supplements and if you’re buying a supplement to aid in your healing, if it is mass produced you can pretty much be sure they have the toxic –oxides, colors, dyes and preservatives that are of no help to your healing of whatever it is you’re taking supplements for. Read the labels!!!

I think what I’ve unintentionally done is put the shoe on the other foot, so to speak. When I tell the doc’s I’m going it alone, they are gripped with fear because they know no other healing than what they’ve been taught scientifically. They don’t know the power of the Lord, the powerful healing that goes along with prayer, they cannot comprehend giving your life up for what they deem a fantasy man.

I live every day to wake up, breathe in the air, feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face and walk the path of healing. Do you honestly think that is what doctors and scientists do? Most people just wake to face another daunting day, to work, eat and sleep. They miss all of the powerful elements of beauty, prayer, spiritual and physical healing in between. They basically live to die, I LIVE to LIVE! Alleluia Amen! 

2 Peter 1:5-8 KJV “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”