End of the Year: Part III

Rom. 13:13-14 “Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.

But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”

End of the Year: Part III

Polar opposites. That is the only term I can come up with when I think of my family and my hubby’s family. My hubby’s dad passed away when he was twenty-five and he basically didn’t have a dad for many of those years because of a divorce of his mom and dad, but let me tell you, his family is simply amazing in their endurance of togetherness.

His great-grandparents and grandparents (on his mother’s side) were the pillars that set the stage for the future generations to come. They were deeply rooted in the love of the Lord and handed down that passion for ages to come. No not all of the family watered and nurtured the seed that was planted so long ago, but when I came into the family I could FEEL a difference in our polar opposites.

My great grandparents handed down alcoholism to the generations. Now while my hubby’s dad was a drinker, alcoholism never had a chance to define the children because the mother was so rooted in her dedication to the Lord. What the children do with the seed is totally up to them, they have free will to pick and choose where the next generation will take the family.

My family on the other hand, for generations, was defined by alcohol. I’m not talking about casual drinkers now; I’m talking about generations of alcoholics. My great-grandmother, my grandparents (on both sides from what I can tell) were very heavy drinkers, and all their kids and their kids' kids, all became drinkers or alcoholics. That was and IS my family except for the scarce few who peeled themselves AWAY from the family to become what they could on their own, like myself. I’m a survivor from way back.

Drugs and alcohol defined my life when I was very young and it was only the Hand of God that guided me in a different direction. Not my mother or father or my sister or brothers showed me a different way to live but I was determined to NOT  be like them or raise my child to grow and be a drinker. I would give him a window into the past but offer him a promise of a future, away from alcoholics.

Now many people wonder where I get my strength to battle this disease without the aid and assistance of a doctor and I can honestly tell you it is once again by the Hand of God that guides me. Live or die, my God is the guide on this long journey; always has been and always will be! I was not raised in a family that loved the Lord, we kids were basically tossed into a Catholic school and made to defend ourselves and find what we could on our own. I found God waiting to cradle me daily in life. I can’t say other members of my family were as lucky. I converted from (religious) Catholicism to (spiritual) Christianity very easily and it is the seed of the Lord that defines who I am and who I am yet to become.

You might be wondering why this is my End of the Year post? Well because on Christmas Day, the family embraced me, hugged me, allowed me to feel the love that carried them all of their lives. I feel nothing but love shining from this family. They are not perfect but to me, this is as close to perfect that I will ever see. The Mid-West farmland, the Bible belt is definitely a different place than an industrialized smoggy city like the one where I came from. Pure love is the best love here! With no ulterior motive behind the love, it becomes a blanket not much unlike the snow-covered ground. It’s a barrier of protection to the seeds below.

My blood family, on the other hand, is still continuing on the path of lies and deception. I can’t elaborate because it's not my story to tell. On Christmas Eve I went to my family FB account and wished them all a Merry Christmas, I went back the day after Christmas and not one Merry Christmas back. My family is so consumed with their selfishness, their money, their blindness that they cannot see any real love right in front of their faces except for the false products of the fabricated family that they built.

Pss. 4:2 “O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.”

Christmas morning I called my mother to wish her a Merry Christmas and to have a good day. Later that evening I called to see how her day went. All she could talk about was how she had a good meal at my brother’s beautiful house and how she went to my sister’s and there sat my meth-head brother who is now taking advantage of my sister’s kindness in keeping him out of the frigid cold and how my other brother didn’t even send her a card and blah blah blah. Yeah, she didn’t ask how my day was and probably doesn’t want to hear how great of a family I have found and been a part of for fifteen years. 

While I sometimes miss back home, all that I really miss are the memories and to be blunt, I have them, and my story safely tucked inside my head; I don’t miss the love because my family does not know what genuine love is. I pray for them, that is all I can do. I journey on into my future that awaits me, in a polar opposite world surrounded by the path of where I was led and that is the path of LOVE! THAT, my friends, is where I find my strength! 

Pss. 18:1 “I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.” 

Weeds

Proverbs 21:3 (NIV) “To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.” 

Weeds

Now that Spring has arrived after the drenching rains it is time for the weeds to pop up through newly green grass that is calling out for a good mowing. You see, with such a mild winter, the grass really didn’t have a chance to go dormant. With warm weather mixed with a good two or three inches of rain the grass has shown signs of overflowing in greenery.

That greenery has called out to its friends the weeds to show up in abundance. A lot like life, we need to sort through the weed negative influences to get to the good greenery stuff that makes the air fresher and the lawn more beautified.

The thing is, is that the weeds are strangling the lawn and not allowing the grass to surface in many places and so my lawn looks like a patchwork quilt, grass here, weeds there all so suffocating. 

The only good thing is that the weeds are a pretty disguising purple, then there is the over abundance of beautiful sunshiny dandelions that certainly brighten the green. I’ve been reading lately about the health benefits of dandelions. 

While I say that my facebook is riddled with weeds, I can see a little teensy bit of beauty in the woven patchwork of posts. While the negative posts try to suffocate me there ARE means of getting rid of the dastardly demon non-do-gooders. The only health benefits I find in the negativity swell of weeds taking over the place is that I learn a lot of what NOT to be like as a person. 

Weeds are strangling the earth as I write. People are seen clinging to the negative affect of fellow weeds not wanting to be in the greener pastures with the few who are trying to save this world from imminent destruction. You see them every day wallowing in hate, spitting out ugliness, clinging by the root to the destructive weeds that invade the good green earth. Don’t be fooled by the little purple or yellow flowers that they toss out in disguise. 

People use God as a means to an end. Families are fleeing the church in record numbers because of these weeds that put on a pretty show but in reality are destroying the green trying to come up with the rain.

Galatians 6:8 (NIV) “The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

Are you a sower or a reaper? Are you a shepherd or a sheep? A sower just takes and takes and fills his bag with the hate that has accumulated in his life. The anger at the world and the hate that has accrued over a lifespan have the sower replanting all the weeds he can so that everyone feels suffocated. A shepherd is a leader, one that will guide the lost sheep to safer grounds where they can eat the abundance of good, pure greenery that might be left. 

I might ask, are you a weed? Are you the one feeding the germination of decline that is crippling the world? Are you the spore that is repressing the possibility for new growth? Are you the man or woman who is a follower of animosity as opposed to the leader of replenishment? True colors come out in the actions that are prevalent in your life. If you continue to be a weed, then consider yourself among the community that is slowly depleting the earth of any significant life.

I see you cheering on the lessening of lives. You put people in their place and stand on a high platform with fist raised in enjoying the moans and grumbles that applaud you in your uncaring fashion of spewing YOUR logic.

Spock says, “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” Captain Kirk answers, “Or the one.”

Yeah, I went there. Now let me change it up a bit. “The weeds to the many outweigh the weeds of the few or the One!” You see, the seeds of weeds you feed to the many are outweighing the seeds of the One who is trying to resuscitate the earth. Your hate is depleting the earth of vital growth and until you see that picture as whole and it touches you so immensely you’ll continue in your weed garden. 

Do the many need to hear your hate mongering? Are we now the world that accepts underhanded backstabbing, knife grinding, bait dangling as a means to accomplish a goal? Is this what we’ve come to? 

As I walk through the shadow of the darkness that is Earth, my very last words on my tongue will be of Him who will save me. To the non-believer I say, I would much rather carry the words of love on my breath than the world, filled with hate and destruction on my lips that everyone seems to carry on theirs.

Are you a weed or a seed? Think about that. 

“We do not have to be ashamed of what we are. As sentient beings, we have wonderful backgrounds. These backgrounds may not be particularly enlightened or peaceful or intelligent. Nevertheless, we have soil good enough to cultivate; we can plant anything in it.” 
― Chögyam Trungpa