Burnout!

It’s a little like a wipe-out only uglier. Burnout is what you get from writing too much. WHAT? Can one ever write too much?

Sometimes I write so much I wonder what I have accomplished outside of the windowed walls. Is life going on around me and I’m unaware? Are the people still moving and is the noisy traffic still congesting the highways?

Well of course it is, I’m just not out there to see or hear the action taking place. Sometimes I think I need to get a life. I’ve been told by a few that I ‘have no life’, only because they don’t see my writing the same way that I do.

I see myself sitting here utilizing my valuable time by giving critiques and feedback to others, trying to help them along on their writing journey and in a day I log over 5,000 words easily.

So what is burnout? Burnout is writing too much but not writing for yourself. You realize that 5000 words a day is spent not on your writing but aiding others and while you find this very fulfilling, you realize also that your dream is slipping like jell-o on a hot day, right through your fingers.

What can be done about this writing burnout? Write for yourself. I offer this blog as a tool to help others so they can learn the skills it takes to be a writer, then someone says, “Who is helping me become a better writer?” I can’t write across the sky my blog, but you need to dig and dig to learn, you can’t expect everyone to just make it easy for you all of your life. (A hard lesson I learned at a very young age.)

I was warned of the burnout about a year ago and I go through phases of highs and lows where writing is fun then it stinks. Like standing on top of a mountains edge and the wind plows up to smack you in the face leaving a feeling of exhilaration. Then there’s the unconscious act of jumping off the mountain without a parachute, you wonder what the purpose in all of this is for.

I think there comes a time in a writers life that he/she/you/me need to focus on numero uno. Throw caution to the wind and take that leap of leaving it all behind to venture into your own writing and soar into the fantasy world. I’m sure everyone would get along without me, heck I’m just another person standing on the ladder.

When you feel the burnout stinging you in the eyes, rub them real hard, look at WHO your writing is fulfilling and if it isn’t you, then YOU need to re-focus!

That is what I intend to do. Focus on my writing and take a breathtaking leap into the world I love most.

Educate yourself, learn the ropes, dig until your nails come out dirty, THEN you can say, I’ve done all the learning I can. Oh and by the way, it isn’t all about “Writing” books. There are tons out there and all have something different to say. If you’re a writer, a hard working, honest to goodness writer, then you need to be writing!

So that is what Joni is going to do!

Punctuation Promises

Have you ever left out a comma in the wrong place,

Ever use and exclamation mark wrong!

Punctuation promises to bring our writing to a new level when used properly. So often I see people trying to use colons where semi-colons should be; quotation marks when no one is speaking, and periods where comma’s should be and vice-versa.

I try and tell them (the writer) to bring your cleanest work to the table and don’t hand me a piece where I need to line critique your work to bits. I am no grammar queen by any means, but I do try and bring my full knowledge into anything I’m going to post and have others look at for me.

Granted even the best of us make mistakes and sometimes it takes someone else's eyes to see something that we missed. I’m not talking about minor faux pas, I’m talking, “Where did you go to school at?” kind of work.

Grammar is easy for some of us, harder on others as many people live in different countries and English is their second or third language. I have to say this though, if you’re going to write for American magazines then you will need to hone the craft of the English grammar and punctuation.

Why let someone else do your work for you?

I think I’ll save all my line-by-line critiques for when I become an editor (read between the words here; when I start getting PAID to line crit.). But on the plus side, it has definitely been a learning experience. I have Writer’s Village University to thank for that.

Why am I telling all of you, my readers, this? Because I want you to tighten up your work! I want you to bring your best work forward. Do your homework on honing a skill, a craft, an art.

A semicolon is to join related independent clauses in a compound sentence.

Mary and Jody were on the team together; Jody was the better of the two players.

A colon may be used for many different things. Mainly listing items is a clue that you need a colon instead of a semicolon.

Mary and Jody were undecided which team to join: The Mavericks, The Beatles or the Birds.

Use question marks when ASKING a question. Exclamation marks when you want to add emphasis to a statement! A period when a statement ends.

I could go on and on with a grammar class here but for now, I’ll let you do your own homework and make use of the links to the left on grammar. They are there to help and assist you in becoming more educated in the field of writing.

So what are you waiting for?

Poetry Sunday~ In a Child's Eye

In a Child’s Eye

```)-;

In a child’s eye the world is not real,
it's a bouncing ball full of zeal;
an immense playground for roaming beast.
The world is a candle that lights a feast.

In a child’s eye the world is a game,
that spins as a globe with earth as its name.
The world is a puddle produced by rain.
It's also the clown devoid of pain.

In a child’s eye the world goes round;
full of life and wondrous sound.
In the blink of his eye it all disappears,
the child then realizes...he's created tears.

Color My World

The Benefits of Prose to Color Your Work...

I’m always asked how people can make their writing have oomph. “Well,” I say, “take a poetry course!”

“But I don’t like poetry,” they say.

Well I’m here to tell you now that you don’t need to like poetry to write better you just need to put to use some of the elements of poetry to make your writing get up and dance. Yes, your writing will dance. It will do a pirouette across your blank screen. Your words will form across the sky and take flight in new directions.

Assonance, alliteration and rhythm; all of these elements digested in poetry will spew forth better writing. Rhythm in writing? Is there such a thing? Yes there is. Have you ever read a choppy book? No? Why not? Because the writer took the time to find a rhythm in his words. The editor/publisher picked up on the rhythm and decided that the book needed to be published.

Having yourself a good poetry critique group will have you becoming aware of your words. You will make every word count and you will also be finding the over used words unnecessary in writing. Being aware of those words that you use a little too much is essential.

So many times I critique a writer and they say they didn’t even SEE the word "AND" twenty times in a paragraph. By writing poetry you’ll know that the word AND is not needed all of the time to finish or begin a sentence to make it complete.

Poetry and prose isn’t all about rhyme. It is about eloquence. The way to make your writing more eloquent is by the feel and flow of the words slipping off your tongue. Some writers have said they never thought to read their work out loud. I say, “How could you NOT read it out loud?"

Do we always read silently? Come on now be honest with me. Don’t most of us at least move our lips or utter an almost silent whisper as we read? Do we all read in silence? If this is true, it’s time to speak up! Feel those words. Speak those words. Realize what you’ve written by SAYING the words.

When I read a poem I can’t help but utter the words, then by some crazy manifestation I’m reading the poem out loud, even if no one is there to hear me. Can you imagine reading Robert Frost’s poem ‘Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening’ in silence?

Well, I once again am going to tell you to speak up! Here the words, feel the rhythm, tap those keys, and make your writing dance!

Fact vs. Fiction~ The Healing Tool

Fiction vs. Non-fiction ~ The healing tool

It is sometimes hard as a writer to clearly define the fiction from the non-fiction. I’m always finding some truth in my fiction or an insight that I relay from my experience in real life and I gladly hand it over to my fictional character.

In my non-fiction, I’m being open and honest about my (or another’s) real life experience. I want my reader to feel the pain or sorrow and reap the rewards of the hope and joy. They need to grasp the story and somewhat know that they’ve been there, done that also.

Isn’t that what we want from our readers when we write fiction? We want the reader to have the feeling that you are speaking right to them. They relate to what your character is going through, cling to your character like snow to the ground, melting their way into your heart.

Is fiction a stretch from non-fiction? In many ways, I have to say no. We see ourselves in each and every character of fiction or fantasy. We soar with the character through trials and tribulations whether it is a hobbit going on a journey to middle earth (Lord of the Rings) or a young girl flying through the air to save the world as in the Maximum Ride series.

We as readers WANT to relate. We read books because we can relate, and we keep reading them because through reading we are allowing parts of ourselves a healing. The same goes for non-fiction. We read to heal a part of ourselves that maybe we didn’t even know needed healing.

Rest assured we read to fulfill an inner need of release. Whether it is the Holy Bible, a tell-all tale biography, or a fictional piece of work that is far removed from our realities. The healing that takes place through reading is not something I’ve made up, it has been a tool used through centuries to get us through to the next day.

Think about it, how many times have you said to a friend or neighbor, “You know what I read today?” And went on to tell them about an article, a book or some truth that you discovered and wanted to share with them. This is what fiction and non-fiction has done for us as a human species. It is a healing tool that we use and share and will continue to use and share all the way into the next millennium.

There is a defining line between fact and fiction, but it all heals. As with gossip (the untruth that spreads like wildfire) is a harmful tool that eats away at our essence of trying to heal, grow and learn. Know the difference because quite frankly, there IS a difference.

Defining line? Fact =Truth, Fiction = Inner Truth Revealed, Gossip = Bold Faced Lies.

Heal on!

Nice, tight, clear, concise
Does the word dangling participle or split infinitive scare you? They scare me because this means I missed something in my English class that I need to go back and review.

I read that it was as simple as a word ending in –ing, but as complicated as “A present participle is a verb ending in -ing, and is called dangling when the subject of the -ing verb and the subject of the sentence do not agree.”

By using nice, tight, clear and concise writing our sentences tend to take on a new shape and have more meaning. I read someone’s words today. She/he wrote many ANDs and he saw, she saw, they saw, all throughout the piece of work. I was going stir crazy trying hard not to critique the work pointing out the many uses of she/he/they had seen, did see or they saw sparkling stars.Conjunctions and prepositions? ugh! Way too many will not make the story tight and concise.

It might be a tense thing but still, overusing these tiny words can clutter your sentences making them intelligible. A thousand words in a story can seem like a lot of words. We look at them and say, “Wow, that’s a lot of words. I did good.” When you look at the piece you see a lot of words but is it good writing?

I know I always talk about turning the internal editor off while writing a rough draft, but for Pete’s sake, don’t post your rough draft, get a critique, and when it isn’t what you want to hear, vow to never write again.
You’ve posted a rough draft; you’re going to get a blunt honest critique. “Hey this looks like a rough draft.”

“Yeah,” you say, “that’s because it is.”

Why would you post your worst work for a critique? Don’t you want good feedback? Getting good feedback means that you (not me) need to do your homework and revise it to the best of your knowledge. It is beneficial to you the writer to get critical feedback. You need feedback for sustenance. How can you grow if you’re not going to take what you’ve learned and put it to good use?

By cutting those thousand words apart. Stripping the story of all the useless words. Adding the pertinent words will make your work shine. In other words, write nice, tight, clear and concise and you’re on your way. LOOK at your work as if it’s a precious painting. Pick out all that you see right and take notes. Most importantly find what doesn’t look right, and work on fixing the finished product. Your writing can be a masterpiece too!

Make Every Word Count

Make every word count...

Here lately I’ve been reading a lot of work that is just too full of words. I mean I’m all for adverbs and adjectives, but when you write a sentence please writer’s, make every word count.

You might ask what I mean? Well okay.

Ex: She walked down the darkened path on her way home from school which she knew was against her mothers wishes.

Can you pick out the unnecessary words in that sentence? Can you restructure that sentence to pack a powerful punch for the reader?

Against her mother’s wishes, she walked the (no need for down) darkened path. One, two punch. I eliminated a bunch of words and the sentence comes off as more powerful.

By writing the longer sentence and in essence feeding your muse, I’m wondering if you are writing to the reader or to yourself? Are you writing to satisfy your eye? Consider why you are writing so many words in a sentence. Are you fulfilling a need of telling the story to its fullness? Are you trying to impress yourself? Well cut it out!

I mean it, literally! Stop writing for you and start writing for your reader.

Pick powerful verbs that can convey the message that you want to get across instead of using filler adjectives to carry your sentence.

Make sure you use action verbs that represent the powerful action in a sentence. A strong action word can bring the reader home to the point that you’re trying to make.

I am not a fan of adjectives and I try not to use many prepositions either. (I overuse, so, now, and then) UGH!

I’m getting better. I need to show you the writer that every word counts in a sentence. I need you to re-read your work before posting it at a writing workshop and definitely before you send it off for a publisher to take a peek at. You’ll be thankful that you did.

The rules of the game? Make every word have a purpose! If it has no purpose, omit it and see if the sentence still reads properly. If it reads properly and you can do this throughout a five-hundred word piece, then you can narrow down the word count to 250, meaning you can write another 250 words to make the 500 mark. Or whatever mark you’re reaching for. :-)

Now get writing and show me something worth reading. I don’t want any more excuses why your 500-word piece has over 100 adverbs, adjectives, and prepositions! Get to cutting and you’ll have a story worth publishing!

Check out the Sentence Structure links to the left. A GREAT tool in making the most out of your words.

Poetry Sunday~The Boy Cried

This is one of my first poems when I was much younger, my teen years. This poem still has the same power today.

The Boy Cried...

"Hey mister, got a quarter?"
the boy says with a grin.
"I need it to buy my dinner,
'cause my dads not home again."

"He goes to the bar everyday,"
his head lowers in shame.
"He comes home late and beats me,
'cause there's no one else to blame."

"Son," the man says, "Let me tell you a story,
I was once a boy like you;
except my Father opened His arms to me,
as He's asked me to do for you."

"You see," the man says, eyes full of hope,
"You're safe here by my side."
"Oh boy," the child says gleefully,
"I no longer have to run and hide?"

As the parents and family sit quietly,
At the grave site of their son.
"Oh dear God," the father stammers,
"What could we possibly have done?"

Computer Woes

We live in an era where we need computers.

At least if you want to be a writer you need the computer. Unless of course if you live in the 18th century. In those days blog wasn’t even a word. Maybe it was but it was a piece of lint in your belly button.

“Ma, I got a blog in my belly-button.”

We’ve been spoiled by this technology and have come to depend on it like a pair of shoes. It is there when we most need it and has come to be a necessity in a writer’s life. The computer AND the shoes.

One might say, “Walk a mile in my shoes.”

I’ve been inundated with computer problems. Logging on and getting knocked off is becoming the norm and I have DSL service. I know we pay a great deal to have this ‘lightning speed’ internet service but what good is it when your computer won’t act the way it is supposed to?

I need my computer to write. I’m active in writing groups and I am thankful for MS Word during my crits because without MS Word I would lose a ton of crits by my ‘time out’ that my computer takes. I didn’t give it a time out, it just takes one when it feels like taking one.

I can use a pen and paper (how archaic is that?) for my writing, but to blog? Well to blog I need to get the lint out of my belly button, I mean my system, so it works for me. Just in case you were wondering why my blog has been showing the same thing over and over and there are no new posts.

I’m searching for a browser that likes formatting and this is a task in and of itself trying to find one that actually likes blogging. I’ve tried Netscape, Flock, Opera and some I can’t even pronounce. None agree with my system. It is like they are at war with one another and each need’s to be center of attention or the other won’t work properly.

So for now I’m using my handy dandy Internet Explorer, and that isn't the greatest either. It has no spell check system (that I’m aware of) and I can’t save passwords to the many sites that I’m active in so my days are filled with re-entering my name with each visit and this tedious task is costing me hours of blogging potential!

I’m practicing patience and the computer is trying my patience. Oh what a web we weave. (ha ha, no pun intended)

Please make use of the many writing links I have on the left to help you in your writing. I will surface back here as soon as I remedy the situation then we can write our hearts out, learn with the tools that we need, and soar to new heights in our careers.

Until then… Bear with me my friends and followers.

Respectfully,
Joni

~Poetry Sunday~

The Mask

I harken to see the drizzled light
that creeps upon the floor.
It sings a song of sorrow,
as I weep forever more.

I sleep above the dampened clouds
that rain in marked procession.
I long to see the welcome hue,
of life's own daunting lesson.

I ask the pain to seep amid
the floorboards weakened measure.
Leave to me the stardust stream
of light and all it's treasure.

Grant to me acceptance,
of a daunting bridled task.
Dwell within this virile vase,
a life beyond the mask.

Poetry Sunday

Temptations Garden


Slithering along the garden path,

evil lurks the ground.

Hunting for the perfect host;

the soul of woman found.

Placed upon her soft-toned breast,

sweet petals she adorns.

A scent of misconception,

the rose with all its thorns.

Perched on top her flowing hair,

she wears a crown of lure.

A man now present within her sight,

leads to thoughts impure.

Brazen with her nudity,

her taunt and tease begin.

Drawing the inner mind of man,

unleashing the first sin.

Evil bridles the stolen path,

relishing the prize.

The goal of lust and greed defined;

now sewn in humans eyes.

Guilt and shame are evident,

the garden sighs and weeps.

Humans bound to Lucifer,

the soul within them sleeps.

Rise up now you vacant souls;

a thundering of grief.

Rays of sun will shower down,

offering relief.

Lay claim to all the light bestowed,

behold the skillful presence.

Slay the dark with purity,

capturing true essence.

Do not let the garden die.

Singe the weeds within.

Fight the gnashing of his teeth.

Spurn the tempting sin.

Steadfast in the pursuit of love;

a measure of true beauty.

See it not as a burdened chore,

but humankind's real duty.

I share with you my wisdom's words.

Against the evil harden.

Awaken now in the realms of heaven,

leave Satan to his garden.

Editors note:

Something don't want this posted

so if you see any misalignments

or HTML tags.It took me four

hoursand numerous tries to get

this on the board!

PRAISE GOD!

Write From the Heart

Write from the Heart

As promised the New Year is beginning with WRITING! Not just writing but getting all of you back to learning the craft. Thanks for sticking with me through the month of my journey. If you’re still following me, then that means you love writing! Thank you for your patience!

Now my first post of the New Year is about writing from the heart. Often I see writer’s who write words but never put any feeling behind it. They write in a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone and the result is choppy unfeeling writing.

Today is a good time to start your journal. When writing in your journal you write from the heart releasing all your emotions into the tiny little book of secrets. As you begin a story, you are going to begin with the same emotion. You will write from the heart!

I’ve been seeing a lot of choppy dialog too. When writing dialog, your character needs to speak from the heart as much as you need to learn how to write from the heart. By choppy dialogue I mean ‘stilted’, ‘unfeeling’, ‘emotionless’. It is as if robots are speaking to one another. Is this the way you and I talk to one another? I don’t think so. I think that we speak from emotion. Hence, we speak from the heart.

Write it down. Have you ever listened in on a conversation? Not eavesdropped just overheard a conversation? Well try and write with the emotion that the real folks were speaking and let emotion into your writing of dialog.

As you find your voice in writing dialog, you’ll discover your voice in writing from the heart. I don’t want to see brief quick sentences; I want sentences that flow! I want to see some emotion in everyone’s writing.

As we head into our New Year, lets try and get our writing to shine. Let’s work on perfecting and honing the craft we so dearly love and hold close to our heart. What I’m saying here folks, is to write from the heart!

Happy New Year! And may you have a wonderful writing experience that comes right from the center of your being…Write Right…From the heart!

Out with the old...In with the NEW!

This will be my last post of the old year. You know, that old tired, worn out 2008?

I plan on ringing in the New Year in worship. Our New Church has this service from 9-12am that will include worship and singing His praises and ringing in the New Year with the Glorious Lord as our initial benefactor of bringing in the New Year. If I don’t make it to the service, then I will surely be in prayer at midnight!

What better way to spend New Year’s Eve? In prior years, my days of drinking, I used to spend my night drinking and glorifying the evil bottle. Standing at Baltimore’s Inner Harbor awaiting the fireworks display although many were already going off in my head by that time.

What a difference Christ makes. After I became sober at 21, I began seeing a new LIGHT to my life and everything turned around for me. Sure the evil tried to attack and I did falter like any other human being, but not for long. Five years ago (almost six) I left the state of corruption that fed my insecurities. I found myself here in Dallas Texas where life took a quick uphill swing as soon as I arrived.

I lost a lot. A nice beautiful Cape Cod home, an awesome garden that wrapped around the entire house, I lost all of my ‘materials’ that I had gathered over, say, a 30-year period. And even my husband of twenty years was left to fend for himself. Was I sad? Sure, because my mother and the rest of my family was left behind in that warped place. Did I regret leaving? Not for a second. (Please note: It was an amicable separation.)

Since coming to Dallas, I’ve had a resurgence of Faith envelop me. I begged forgiveness, I sought solidarity, I fought off the corruption and now I find myself being carried in the Hands of God while we continue to grow together. What an awesome experience.

I share this with you, not to boast or judge any one of you but I just want you all to know it is possible to form a bond with the Living God and move forward in this crazy world in the Light of blessings.

My New Year will end in prayer and begin in prayer. It will not be spent with Satan at my lips or in my sight, or hanging in my ear. It will be a BLESSED New Year for my family and me and I wish the same for you, my friends who have endured my rants and ‘Spirit filled’ posts.

Happy New Year and MAY GOD BLESS YOU FRUITFULLY!

The Branch~ Poetry Sunday

The Branch

I crawl out on the lonely branch,
that can't sustain my weight.
I try to creep so still in thought,
reflecting on my fate.

Up on top this tree so tall,
I find a quiet place.
Still are sounds that whistle through,
the leaves a patient pace.

What is this that breaks my thought,
I’m not alone any more?
The presence is surrounding me;
it haunts my very core.

No longer alone, my thirst is quenched,
my essence fed by might.
Surrounded by the stillness of,
the Radiant Branch of Light.

As I close out my year, I want you all to feel the Branch of Light shining into your lives. As we go out of this year and ring in a new one may you carry that Light throughout your journey!

My Christmas was wrought with blessings, as I didn’t think for a moment it would be otherwise. My son had a glorious day as well as Steven and I.

My 30 days of touching people will carry into 365 more days of touching others. It will never cease to stop. Today I heard testimonials of how everyone touched someone and whether they bought someone a cup of coffee, or treated someone who had no money, with money. My testimony is that it isn’t about money.

I liken myself to the Little Drummer Boy, “I have no gifts to give pah rum pah pum pum.” But what I did give was my heart and soul. Whether it was holding the door for someone, letting someone go in front of me, saying the words God Bless you to a stranger, or taking the message to a person in need. I gave what I had; the very light that shines forth from me, I shared!

Remember, the Little Drummer Boy had but a drum. What do YOU have to give?

Happy New Year!

And God Bless each and every one of my readers!

Thank You and God Bless

Three days left before the big day.

During this trying time in my life, I have been led down a crazy winding path. I have come out smiling with every twist and turn in the road. It’s not easy being over a thousand miles away from my family, especially during the Holiday’s, but I have found that my friends are just as important, even though I have not seen any of their faces before in person.

I know who my friends are as they’ve stood with me and endured my heartache. I’ve made new friends along the way that seem like a blessing from God. I’d like to thank Jason for visiting my blog and being a new friend in Christ that I know, maybe, I touch his heart as much as his site has touched mine.

I’d like to thank Benning and Gran because they are ever present in my life and ones who are not afraid to speak up and lend support.

Also I’d like to thank the quiet ones who send me emails telling me that everything will be all right and giving me a shoulder or at least an email to cry into if I want. Thank you Ricky! Thank you June!

And to the ones in the back reading my blog, you know who you are. The ones that are touched, and wishing they could do more but can’t. I thank you for reading. It means you care! It means the world to me.

I THANK THE LORD for calling me to my New Church. It has been a true blessing! One rich with growth and spiritual empowerment! And the new friends that I can see are overwhelmingly spectacular! Thank you, Pastor’s Don and Tim!

My hope is that all of you, my friends and follower's, get a message of Faith and Inspiration from my words. I pray that it leads you to look into your own lives and see where it is that you stand with the very Higher Power that created you. I know we don’t all believe in the same God and it is okay. (I am not here to judge.) Just as long as you know that there is something bigger and greater than this human form and that you worship until you feel moved into action!

Be kind to one person today. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee. Hold the door for the person behind you. Pay for the person behind you in the McDonalds drive-through. Pass along blessings freely! Just tell a person that God loves them and it could be the three words that change their life.

Make giving a way of life for you. Change the world one person at a time, then when YOU get to Heaven tell Him that Joni sent ya! O:-)

Have a Blessed Christmas Holiday. Find beauty in a smile. Treasure the life that you have been given and most of all have HOPE in a new tomorrow!

Godspeed friends!

The Legend of St. Nicholas

***The Legend of Saint Nicholas***

*** *** ***

There he sat in a great big chair,

velvet red suit, snow-like hair.

Full of laughter, joy, and cheer;

once again that time of year.

"Mommy, mommy, who is he?"

Are words I longed to hear.

But what do you say to innocence,

to make the story clear?

Do I grant him imagination,

his mind set to explore?

Or thrust him into reality,

allowing his soul to soar?

I tell the story of Jesus,

His gracious, humble birth.

About how wise men brought Him gifts,

because He blessed this earth.

St. Nicholas too, was a humble man,

who loved all girls and boys.

He gave them joy and laughter,

by blessing them with toys.

His giving to children once a year,

to feel enormous pleasure.

Throughout eternity, each child will hold,

a day they'll always treasure.

Chosen was the day of our Lord,

I'm sure He wouldn't mind.

Sharing His appointed birthday,

with a man so warm and kind.

Jesus had inspired a man,

to lovingly care and give.

And through the spirit of both these men,

their memories will live.

So once a year, St. Nicholas' spirit,

dwells in the hearts of men.

Bringing imagination to life,

in any way he can.

***

Merry Christmas to all

and to all a goodnight!

War of the Worlds!

By now you have all read my current struggles and the blessings that have come along with it. I’m here to tell you more. You know I’ve been to the welfare offices, the Assistance for the Blind, Christian Community in Action (CCA for short) and you should know by reading my previous posts, nothing came easy.

It is a week before Christmas and I held onto my faith knowing that God was going to give me Christmas blessings. Satan on every avenue tries to bring me down, but I’m a here as a testament of the Reigning King of Kings prevailing!

CCA is a community outreach program that helps the needy. When I went to them for food, I was told that I wasn’t ‘on their list’. Imagine being turned away at a food bank! Trudging back to the main office to ask WHY we weren’t on the list, we found that the ‘worker’ had made a mistake. We had our voucher and were placed on the list. The following week we didn’t need them any more because God saw to it that blessings of food were abundant for me.

CCA sent me a voucher for the Christmas toys a few weeks ago and the date was Thursday the 18th. Imagine my shock when a week before Christmas I had very little for my son’s Christmas and to be told, “You’re not on the list.” I had my card that they sent me with my name on it and after twenty minutes of watching a woman run back and forth to see why I wasn’t on the list, she came back with the “O.k. let her through.”

I was allowed $75 dollars. (Supposed to be $100, but I was definitely not complaining! Give me SOMEthing and I’ll be on my way.) I had received $60 for mentoring a writing course and believe me it helped immensely! I purchased SEVEN games for my sons Gamecube system! SEVEN! But I didn’t get him that ONE toy that he REALLY wanted.

You know how us parents are, we need to see our kid light up because of that one special toy that we get them. In my son’s case, he wanted a $20 Bakugan. A six-piece set that we had seen at Walmart but I couldn’t afford. When I got my $60, that is the first thing I sought out! Walmart was OUT. “Oh well,” I said to myself, “he’ll be happy with games.”

At the CCA I looked and looked at the toys. I saw a Bionicle, Lego star wars things and there it was after scanning the aisles twice and not seeing it, I came back and heard a voice, “This is for Adam.” Chills ran up my spine as I looked; lo and behold, the Bakugan six piece set!!! Talk about amazing! Needless to say the tears were ever present during this visit.

I walked out with an entire Christmas for my son! He will be the happiest kid on the block, and most appreciative because he knows what we’re going through. I then went to a thrift store, everything in the store was either .97 or $1.97. Wow! I struck gold! Me in a thrift store is like a kid in a candy factory!

I can spend hours and hours in Kohl’s or JCPenny’s and walk out with nothing in my hands, but take me in a thrift store, you’d think I won a million bucks! I spent twenty bucks and guess what? Joni is going to have a wonderful Christmas! I found for me a 21st Century, Webster’s International Encyclopedia 10 volume set! For $1.97! WOW! Joni the reader is happy! And Joni the Writer is gloriously happy!

I even bought a basket for my neighbor. I’m filling it with fruit and giving it to her and her two kids. (That’s another story) WHEW! I’m blessed!

Did you hear me? I’M BLESSED! :::shouting from the rooftops:::

This Christmas could just possibly turn out to be the most richly rewarding Christmas that I’ll ever have. Not because of gifts, but because of BLESSINGS! I know so many people are struggling right now and if they only held out the hope and belief in miracles, they would receive the blessings to make all their NEEDS be fulfilled! (Notice I said NEEDS not wants?)

My son, Adam Omega, who turns thirteen on December 27 will have a glorious Christmas AND birthday!

*ALLELUIA AMEN!*

Lead by Example

We lead by way of example.

At 21 when I gave up drugs and alcohol, I was setting an example to my older siblings. Go figure, the baby of the family had to lead them to the light. I have four brothers and a sister, who as you can imagine, all had drug and alcohol problems in one way, shape or form.

When I quit my nasty habits, I was revered as the different one. The miss priss of the family who wanted to change the world. Yes, I was laughed at and scoffed at. It didn’t gain me any respect in my family by quitting because it was saying to them, “Maybe you should quit too?” (I wasn't looking for respect either. I was only seeking God.)

I never ever pushed my beliefs on my family. I was bluntly honest and told them that God was leading me into a better direction for my life. Seeing me come out a changed person encouraged my one brother to join A.A., I was so proud of him. He never gave me credit for overcoming my obstacles without the aid and assistance of a support group, I had God and that was enough for me to get through those darkened days of withdrawal.

He believed that A.A. was the only way, and as the good sister that I am, I stood by and supported him on every triumph. He is sober now twenty years later. Then there was my sister and her husband. We were so close at one time and after I gave up the destructive habits, our friendship waned.

Years later, they too went to every A.A. group there was and found sobriety. Again, I was shunned because I didn’t do it the N.A. way, but I stood beside them too in all of their triumphs.

Slowly they all sought God. Was I the reason they all changed? I don’t know, but I do know that leading by example can cause others to want to follow so that they too can be a leader by example. I never wanted credit, I would have loved a pat on the back saying, "Good Job!" The Lord gave it to me in way of many blessings and that is certainly enough.

Out of my five elder siblings, only one is still an addict. He’s fifty-one years old and will still tell you that he doesn’t have a problem. Even after burning off one of his fingers in a drunken crack burning stupor, he continues to drink and medicate himself with Dr. prescribed hydrocodone. He watched his skin melt off, watched as the bone surfaced and realized his finger was gone. I thought for sure that would have made him see the light, but again, he says he doesn’t have a problem. Even my parents are alcohol free. (only because of medical problems, mind you.) God has a way of making you see the Light!

Leading by example doesn’t always cause people to follow. Sometimes they need the hand of God to reach down and touch their cheek and speak to them. That is what happened with me, I HAD MY EARS OPENED!

Be ready to listen because God does speak to you. So many people are hiding in the walls, the caves of denial that they can’t see any light shining in the one little opening.

Matt. 19: [24] And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

The road is hard, the road well traveled. Care not for your material possessions, just care and nurture your soul. It is by faith that you too will enter the kingdom of Heaven.

author's note:

The picture is from the Bigstock free photo

gallery.

Should I feel ashamed?

Should I be embarrassed? Should I feel ashamed?

Some people ask me how I can be so open and honest about my life. I tell them it is who I am. I am honest to a fault.

I feel no shame for who I am, I have come a long way in seeing to it that I turned out okay, and truth be told I was never alone in my journey.

I grew up with alcoholics for parents. We never said ‘I love you’ and I don’t remember too many hugs being shared unless one of my parents were drunk as drunks often feel the urge to give you a big ol’ hug. My family life was wrought with dysfunction. Yeah I know, I sometimes think dysfunction was the normal way of growing up. All those other people who had caring parents, loving families, they’re the rarity in life.

I was sexually abused, I was an alcoholic myself by the time I was 15, maybe even younger. If alcoholism constitutes a craving for the ever-bold drink (whiskey), then yeah I was an alcoholic at 15. A drug abuser too by the time I was seventeen. Pregnant at sixteen, married at seventeen. I lost my baby boy, Christopher, nine months into my pregnancy. Seven months later I found myself walking down the aisle to marry the guy I thought was going to take and ease all of my pains in life.

I was fifteen when I met him, 17 when I married him. We endured twenty years of marriage. A marriage where I was his substitute mother for all those years. He had been physically, mentally and emotionally abused as a child and never knew who his real father was. His mother had kept ‘the real father’ a secret, and took it to the grave with her four years ago. Isn’t it ironic how we are drawn to people who are most like us?

After leaving this plane of existence, dying of alcohol consumption at 20, I decided to take stock and look around at my life since I was being given the second chance. I gave up drugs and alcohol at 21 and by the GRACE of God,to this day I remain Clean and Sober!

So why am I telling you all of this? Because, it is my story. The weaving of a blanket lay over me and by telling people my story, maybe one of them can say, “Hey, I had it bad, but not that bad!” or maybe, “Where does that girl get her strength from?”

As my son would say (and many others,) here comes a Joni sermon.

I was raised Catholic. Imagine that. My parents wanted to give their six children the best education they possibly could, so they struggled to send each and every one of us to Catholic school. Imagine my father’s disappointment when I converted to Christianity at age fourteen.

Not that they were a religious family by any means but I found in Christianity a reason for living. I was now living for God and no one else. Everything that followed after was mere experience preparing me for the Heaven that was one day going to be open to me.

At twenty-one I struggled to stay alive. Materials were not something I craved and to this day, I don’t like shopping or diamonds or fancy anything! I look at it this way, I wasn’t born with holes in my ears, or red hair or brown hair so why would I change what God deemed perfect when He created me?

Did you know that God made each and every one of us perfect in His eyes? Well He did. That is the way I see you, as a perfect human being. We’re all alive and struggling to be the best we can be. Some of us wonder whom we’re trying to be our best for? We do it unconsciously! We’re trying to be perfect for our Creator that’s who.

Whether your God is the God of Abraham or the God of Buddha, we all try to aim our sights on perfection in our deity’s eyes.

To you I offer HOPE! The hope that you too can change and become perfect in the eyes of the one you believe in. Strive to be the best you can be not for yourself, but for the very Heaven that awaits your journey’s end.