January Third - Change

Rom. 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

January 3rd, 2019

“Make a POSITIVE change in the world by changing YOU first.” Joni

I’m full of these quotes. I think I’ll put together a book of quotes that are solely mine or should I say soulfully mine! I thought with the new year I’d see a change in people. I dunno, I think I expect people to realize the minute things in life like I do and sometimes they can’t even grasp the big things. I have to shake my head, I’ll pray in hopes I’ll see SOME change this year in others, not just myself. 

Change is hard stuff, I know. It’s not to be all puffed up in words, change is about taking action to move! How many people make new year’s resolutions, only to set themselves up for failure. How good that must feel when people tell themselves what a failure they are because they couldn’t change ONE thing. I never make resolutions and I never ay I'm going to do something and not do it, what a letdown. Stress-free living is not about letdowns.

Today the dismantling of Christmas took place. With the absence of Adam, this Christmas decorating and tearing down had a new back-breaking meaning! Talk about change! My son is now at his own place making his own rules and doing his own thing, while we had to accept the change and do things a little differently this Christmas.

Last night, I took all the ornaments off of the tree and boxed them up, readied them for the basement. I didn’t overdo it because I was sitting in my wheelchair and hubby placed everything on a small tv table so I had easy access to wrap and box the tree ornaments. He would do the tree and lights while I would do the other ornaments, mainly my snowmen! 

On this day, the tree came tumbling down so to speak, and we had the house looking like its old self in no time. I even had time to take a shower. Ah, the beloved shower that I missed for well over thirty days! Don’t get me wrong, I used the old-fashioned bucket and rag to bathe but it certainly is not the same as cleansing the whole body shower! 

We are now finding peaceful common ground. He is relaxing in taking care of my every need, and I am finding a sense of peace in being able to care more for myself. I have new freedoms in washing, and cleaning and do the Suzie Homemaker jobs that I LOVED before my accident. It was a stress-free Christmas and a relaxing calendar change, so much so my blog became a memory for a spell. I need to get back to telling my story but wanted some fill-ins for the New Year! 

The New Year - a blank page for you to write in every day to make a CHANGE! Change is free, not easy but free! Find the freedom in CHANGE! 

The Fear Factor

1 Sam. 17:34 "And David said unto Saul, Thy servant kept his father's sheep, and there came a lion, and a bear, and took a lamb out of the flock:"

I realize there is something inside me that helps me overcome so many hurdles; I have the strength of a lion and the gentleness of a lamb. When you come face to face with a lion ( a rare event for sure), I'm sure you're instilled with fear. The fear factor is something that rules everyone, even though they don't know it has washed over them or that the feeling has saturated their souls.

Let me ask, when you're faced with a diagnosis from a doctor, you know that tingling you get in your heartbeat where it feels as though it has stopped but you know it didn't because you're still alive, as you feel the rapid rhythm pulsating in your chest? Your brow breaks out in beads of sweat, your palms become clammy as you wait for a prognosis; that there is fear, fear of the worst-case scenario. 

I don't think anyone goes into the doctors' office with the faith that all is well. You walk in out of fear. Most people don't even go to the doctor because of fear but by the time you've made it to his doorstep, you're carrying fear in there with you. Why? Because you know full well you haven't taken care of yourself. You know deep down the neglectful years are finally going to catch up with you.

When I finally went to the doctor because of 'a lump', I instinctively knew what was going to be said. I had done all of the google searches that aimed me in the 'most likely not' direction, but the final diagnosis became 'the worst case scenario'. Fear drove me home that day, fear tried to wake up with me the next day but the little lamb in me came and nestled in my heart as a comforting blanket of wool in a much needed time of cold despair.

I remember a few years ago when we visited an animal sanctuary and I came face to face with a lion! I actually stood in a cage of tigers and was allowed to pet one. Can you say that you've ever done THAT in your life? No, not many people can. The lion was big and fierce but he was wounded and neglected, that is why he was in the sanctuary, to save his life from years of neglect. Rory was finally getting the help he needed in the saviors at the animal sanctuary. As we came eye to eye, neither of us feared; we were both sizing one another up but as I went to pet him he let me know why he was the king of the forest with a loud roar and a snap at my finger. At that time he urinated on me in a spray and our uncle giggled and said, "That'll happen when they want to mark you." I wasn't laughing but I did find it cool to later that day go back and tell my friends that a lion had 'delivered me', I mean, peed on me. 

1 Sam. 17:37 "David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee."

When I was diagnosed with the Big C, I feared the doctors more than I did the lion! I feared the diagnosis, the treatment and the finality of the prognosis. I let the fear factor go home with me but I didn't let it pee on me and ruin my life. When the gavel came down later that week with the verified results, I didn't fear the doctor, I feared the treatment and the lack of willingness for us both to work on a positive outcome of what they had just sprayed me with. I didn't get to go home and be joyful to tell all my friends how I overcome the spraying of the venom that the doctors unleashed, instead I came home and told my friends of the fear I saw in the eyes of my loved ones as I said I wasn't going the conventional route.

This is when I realized I would need every bit of strength in going forward.  I needed to see past the fear factor. I knew I would need to look the lion of fear in the eye and let it know that I am a victim too, I am not a weak victim and my Savior is not a sanctuary for saving cats but a sanctuary of love for saving human beings; the Lamb would rise up to save me. I believe this with every fiber of my being. He knows it, I know it, I just wish the surrounding onlookers knew what it took to get me from point A to point B!

As many of you may have feared your dad as a child; the impending belt, switch, the hand of discipline, you feared. Many unknowingly carry the fear of accepting an Almighty Savior, feeling a little insecure in giving Him 100% total trust.  My dad wasn't the disciplinarian in my family, so I had no fear of accepting my Father in Heaven's discipline or guidance. I never had any trouble getting flushed by His spray of undeniable, unconditional love. He has marked me and surely is saving me from my own self. As I relinquish the fear factor and move forward with unwavering faith in a snail's pace enjoying the brilliant view, painstakingly hating the climb but cherishing the time I spend with my Father as the day draws near where we will be walking hand in hand on the shorelines of Heaven.  There won't be two sets of footprints because I will be beside Him, basking in all of his love and glory. As I miss my earthly father who now resides in heaven I am ever grateful to my Heavenly Father for sending out a boat, filled with life preservers and saturating my soul when I need Him most.

It is a glorious Father's Day! Happy Father's Day, Abba! 

Pss. 57:4 "My soul is among lions: and I lie even among them that are set on fire, even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword."

Giving Thanks - Thank You, Lord

Pss. 7:17 “I will praise the LORD according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the LORD most high.”

Giving thanks!

Lord, I'm taking this time to give you thanks for all that you’ve done for me. Let the record show that this is just a small portion of all that I'm thankful for.

When I was diagnosed with this illness it would have been so easy just to blame you but instead, I embraced this journey as another blessing, and I thank you!

Thank you for the illness that through you has made me strong but allows me increments of weakness. Thank you for shining a Light in dark places.

I thank you for placing a man in my life who takes care of me and sees to it my wealth of needs are met, and I have many. I thank you.

I thank you for filling me with the strength to wake up and face each and every day.

I thank you for my most dismal days, seeing you stand with me and allowing me to vent. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for letting me know everything will be okay.

Thank you for nourishing food, and creating medicinal herbs. Even though our government doesn’t see them as medicinal, you show me daily who is in charge and the purpose and reason for herbs and CURES with those herbs. Thank you for discernment.

Thank you for the precious food on my plate and the ability to buy clean water in a toxic environment.

Thank you for being my living water in times of drought.

Thank you for a wonderful son and allowing me to be instrumental in shaping who he’s becoming. You in me has made him who he is, for that, I’m eternally thankful.

Thank you for the seasons and the elements. Rain, snow, wind, and sun, everything you offer is of beauty.

Thank you for pain and for sorrow for only through them can I see the promise of a better tomorrow.

Thank you for loving me enough to give me a second chance at making it right with my health. 

Thank you for using me as a vessel of your message.

Thank you for bringing friends into my life in the virtual world that love care and respect me. I hope they know I cherish each and every one who takes the time out of their lives to pray for me and sees that my aching needs are met. I pray for the ones that deserted me in my time of need.

Thank you for showing me that my family really doesn’t care for me. Except for two or three. (Sara, Steven, and Adam) I’m okay with that and am making peace with the reality. I release them, as I carry no guilt for who they are. They have abandoned me, not I them. I pray for them all. (The once in a blue moon asking me how I'm doing is not caring for me.) I pray.

Thank you for Sara, who I knew from birth, was going to be a friend to the end!

Thank you for placing on the heart of that special someone who once a month, takes the time to bless me. I pray they know they are a cherished being, not a passing thought in my world. Thank you.

Thank you for finding me worthy to be your work of art in progress. 

Thank you for Grace Vanderwaal. She touches my heart with her music and allows me to enjoy the rhythmic beat with no past to me, no memories tied to her songs, just emotions I need to work through. I can see clearly now.

Thank you for the years on this earth. While others are unknowingly trying to die, I wholeheartedly see a reason to live! I strive every day, pain or no pain, to get through each minute of the day. I thank you for being there every second of the way.

Thank you for the opportunity of eternal life through your Son. I do not fear the beauty I know one day will be my destiny. Allow people to see strength in my serenity and to seek You when they need comfort.

I wrestle every day with the darkness trying to pull me in a different direction. Whether it is toxic for me food, cigarettes, alcohol, aromas, paranoia or fear, it tries surrounding me only in an attempt to smother me. Thank you for letting me see that it is You Heavenly Father, who holds my heart and soul and allows me to see through the murky mire.

2 Sam. 3:1 “Now there was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker.”

Thank you for still being a part of my family who is very weak during these trials. Fill them with the strength of an army to get them through these trying times. They need You more than they will ever need me. I grow stronger and stronger every day as their weakness smothers their capabilities.

Thank you for allowing me to trust in your bigger plans and helping me to fight the feelings of meaninglessness.

I may never thank you enough, but Lord, I thank you from the depths of my soul that only you have seen and known. My life for you, oh Lord!

Pss. 18:1-2  “I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Pss. 118: 17  “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.”

Happy Birthday to Me...I am Special

I had a dream last night with my brother-in-law, M, and sister-in-law, B, in it; they crept into my dream to point out that I am special. In the dream, he said I couldn’t go to the store he goes to because I wouldn’t be allowed to register. M went on to say that I was above that store, meaning I was too good to shop in the store. At first, I was offended but my S-I-L was saying that he meant it in a good way. He said that I was special in my thinking and very rare and that the people wouldn’t allow the likes of ‘my kind’ in their store. Geez, I never even got to see what kind of store I was too good for, but since he is an avid member of agriculture and all things Monsanto, it might have been a feed store, in my mind anyway.

I have to admit, I am kind of special. I came into this world on my Mother’s twenty-ninth birthday, the last of six kids. Every year on our birthday my mother gives each of us kids our birthday story and of course, my day was special for different reasons than theirs. Besides the special day, the thing that stood out to me the most was her doctor had told her she had plenty of time before delivery and to relax. He left the room and within minutes I popped out! As the nurse called the doctor back into the room, I was already in her hands, covered in ooze for the doctor to clean up. 

Ironically, in my twenty-ninth year, I gave birth also. It wasn’t on my mother’s birthday instead it was three days before my dad’s birthday, both right after Christmas! And my doctor did the same exact thing, he said I wasn’t ready to deliver; I was hours away from delivering. I said to him, “Stay close because that is exactly what my mother’s doctor said when I was born and made a hasty arrival.” The doc left the room chuckling and bam! I was so ready to push! He wasn’t minutes out the door, he didn’t even have time to put his scrubs on, hurrying back to the scene and there my son was, arriving in a hurry, my after Christmas special surprise.

Then there is the fact that I’m the baby of the family. My mother always treated me special and my siblings made sure I knew that she treated me more special than them. 

Then there’s God. I woke this morning to gusty winds and clinging cloudy skies. I sighed. But it’s my birthday, I’m special remember I uttered softly to the morning. As I continued on in the quiet of the morning reading my scripture I could see light outside the window meaning morning was near. I opened the curtain a little because I love looking out at the sunrise. It sure didn’t look like I’d get one today with all of the clouds.

Then it happened, the clouds parted just enough for me to see a glimmer of sun streaking its rays out of the clouds. There it was, God said to me, “You ARE special!” I hurriedly snapped a picture. Then I sat down and the sun burst momentarily through the clouds so bright I had to close the curtains a little! I looked at the weather for the day: windy, clouds and chance of storms later. 

3 23 18 Sunrise

Yes, I am special! A thunderstorm this evening will be icing on my cake! No, I didn’t have cake, I don’t miss it either! I had a glutenfree pizza! That’s my Friday treat. It’s been five days without the use of my cane. I went shopping yesterday on a sunny 65-degree day and am almost (not 100%) myself again! I’m special!

I have wonderful friends who all took time out of their day to wish ME a Happy Birthday! I thank them from the bottom of my heart! My sister called, my husband was home as was my son, my mother-in-law gave me a beautiful card and an enormous fruit tray! And to finish off the day… A thunderstorm! It is well…with my soul! 

God Bless you ALL! 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well with my soul,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:

If Jordan above me shall roll,

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life

Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,

The sky, not the grave, is our goal;

Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!

Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

One of my favorite songs!

The Outbreak of Insanity

Isa. 65:17 "For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind."

The Outbreak of Insanity

As I sit in the quiet of the morning reading, writing, pondering I look out the window at darkness. Soon light starts giving shape and form to objects, then the sun ascends lending warmth to all of the earth. That’s a cosmic take on how my morning begins.

On a spiritual level, I look out at the darkness and wonder who or what the depths of the night has smothered the previous day, darkened by insanity. It only takes one quick click to realize that the insanity has flooded the shores and the humans respond in anger and with that outburst of anger people die. 

It is well known that I’m weird, that I seek light before darkness and that I stay in the catacombs of my mind away from the outside forces that try to break me down. This past year has been no different where I kept all of the negativity at bay, choosing to hold onto a lightsaber in a world obsessed with a dark invader. I try to tell people about the effects of negativity on every single thing on this earth and out in the cosmic realm too, but I’m laughed at because, in reality, people don’t see light and dark, they don’t see energy as positive and negative, they see here and now and nothing more.

Here’s a science lesson for you today. Toxins are a form of negative energy. The releasing of toxins in your system all has a negative effect on every aspect of your health on a cellular level that makes up this body. This is why disease strikes. In some way, you understand this but are resistant because you believe you fill yourself with enough positive to keep any illness away from you. 

When tragedy strikes, you are saddened, you hurt, you’re angry, and you’re filled with disgust. You try to throw a speck of positivity into the mixture like adding water to oil. The oil is a tiny particle of negative energy trying to penetrate the overflowing positive soul. Your positive crumbs add very little to the realm of negative energy. 

We live in a world where insanity is overflowing. Like mold clinging to the dampened walls, a good scrub will not eradicate the fungus. Cancer is very much like a dirty fungus invading a body, a powerful scrubbing will appear to be cleaning you up but if you don’t change the toxins that created the mold; the fungus is going to continue to fester in a weakened body that no longer has the ability to fight off the growth.

My cells are damaged. I know because I have an internal system overrun with a fungus that a good radioactive cleaning doesn’t hold the power to cleanse. I remember being told by an oncologist that radiation would ‘take care’ of my psoriasis too as well as the dark invader of my cells. What he didn’t want to say was how the radiation would also kill the only good, living, combating cells that were left in my molecular structure. In other words, he wanted to add oil (radiate) to water (my spirit-filled soul). 

Your body is over 50% water, depending on the toxins or non-toxic level of input to your system. Fatty tissue contains less water than the lean meat of your body. If you’re overweight, that means you have an intense toxic system and more likely to get sick often and are basically a highway for virus’ and infections to invade. Eating the occasional salad is not going to help clean up the cells of your compromised system.

Sure you can get a quick fix, doctor’s offices hand out prescription candy like it was a trick-or-treat festival, come one come all, have some candy to poison your system. You can take the positive route or take the highway to hell, just don’t assume a salad is going to save you in a toxic world.

I woke this morning with the Son in my soul. Even though the clouds hide the sun, He is still there., every minute of every day. I could’ve gone to the negative news stream, allowed the insanity to penetrate my day and try and drown out the garden I have planted in my soul blooming for all of the world to see or for none to see.

While dark matter is its own force to reckon with the penetrating culprit of negativity cannot lead us. We must rise above the realms of darkness and allow the Light to filter out our toxic garbage.

Philip. 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

When we take a stand and actually work for change, change will happen. If you don’t change your entire being (the toxins you put in your system, the hate you spew, the negative thoughts you allow to seep in) nothing is going to change. Here is an excellent link to guide you to change. It is well worth the read.

As I go on my weird merry way I am continually working toward change. I am only one person setting out to change the view of the world. We cannot allow insanity to leak in and damage our hard work to change. Change your mind, body, and soul and you change the outbreak of insanity across the world!

Pss. 111:5 "He hath given meat unto them that fear him: he will ever be mindful of his covenant."

Quotation Saturday ~ Patience

 Luke 21:19 “In your patience possess ye your souls.”

I needed these quotes today! I hope you enjoy them, too.

PATIENCE

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.” 
― Orson F. Whitney

“Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing"
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way.” 
― Fulton J. Sheen

“Trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.” 
― Molière

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” 
― Paulo Coelho

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” 
― Aristotle

Patience is not the ability to wait. Patience is to be calm no matter what happens, constantly take action to turn it to positive growth opportunities, and have faith to believe that it will all work out in the end while you are waiting.” 
― Roy T. Bennett

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing, in the end, can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.” 
― Margaret Atwood

STRENGTH

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
― Christian D. Larson

"Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone
to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties
arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are
right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end
requires courage." 
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

PERSPECTIVE

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” 
― Frances Hodgson Burnett

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” 
― Alphonse Karr

“It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,” 
― Amit Ray

“When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” 
― Albert Camus

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” 
― Og Mandino

My Survival

Luke 12:15 "And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth."

SURVIVAL

My survival will be the life of me and the eventual death of me. I strive every waking day to be a vibrant life force in the world but sometimes my immediate surroundings and events throw a pebble into the smooth running cog. One minute I’m a peppy go-getter ready to tackle the world and in the blink of an eye I can turn and wonder what all this struggle is for, what purpose and to what end.  I read something yesterday about this path in life being the path we were destined to be on, good and bad, it is our path laid out for us. I know where the path leads but getting there is no walk in the park, that’s for sure.

I really feel sorry for the folks skipping down the path on their merry way thinking this is all that there is and just keep going until they hit a dead end. They neither care for the in-betweens, are blind to the beginning and end of the line, or they just can’t be bothered, they’re here to live and die. Well, that sounds like a fulfilling life.

Had it not been for this disease, I would still be skipping down the path, if truth be told. I would’ve never had a reason to fight to stay alive but this illness brought me to a juncture in my path and colored it with purpose. I’m not staying alive for anyone around me, that to me is pointless, I’m surviving for the end of the line, where I meet the face of Jesus. All this in between stuff is to show you the strength and determination that resides in people with a purposeful end-of-the-line view. 

My sister had an incident a couple of weeks ago where her outside electric box was shooting sparks. Fearing for the loss of everything she began gathering pictures and stuff that had meaning to her. The fire department came and said the electric company would have to come out and put a new box in. My sister, needless to say, slept in her car with her stuff until the next day when the electric company came. 

Maybe it is just me who is unattached to stuff but I thought if something like that happened to me, I’d grab my writing. I couldn’t think of anything else, nothing came to mind. On Sunday when we went to see his family, I looked around at the hundreds of pictures lining the walls. This family is all about pictures. When we were getting ready to literally walk out the door we were stopped by the words, “Let’s get a picture.” The picture wanted was not of hubby and me but of all of those who were there.

Four different people wanted pictures (I wasn’t one of them) and we had to stand and allow four different cameras to click a shot. Twenty minutes later we were finally heading out the door. I scratch my head thinking what is it? I don’t like my picture being taken for one, and also, there is more to life than pictures. Sure you get a snapshot of a memory but what for? To possess, to brag, boast and share? I don’t get it. You can never relive those moments and the best of the moments are stored in your memory, do people really need the physical picture? Is that what is important in life?

My point being in all of this is that people cling to the darndest of things. The materials we acquire in life are not going with us when we die. I don’t even know if our memories go with us. We move on and all of this is left behind, that is what I work every day for, the end of the line. Not for what is here and now, not for memories and pictures but of the life and the world I will live in when I pass. I guess I’m weird like that. I don’t cling to materials.

Words, not pictures, matter most to me. When I pass, my family will scarcely find pictures of me. They’ll look at the pictures they dig up, weep and cry for what WAS, what they missed, and what they didn’t get to see. The image will not tell my story by any means but if they scan my words, they’ll get the entire picture of who I AM! The images will show I lived, I died, but my words, they will enter your soul and you will FEEL me long after I go! This is one of the very reasons for my need for survival, to leave something worth reading behind. One picture is worth a thousand words but my words will hold millions of pictures.

I pray each and every one of you are touched and blessed by my words! My purpose will be fulfilled. All praise and Glory to God! 

Matt. 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Poetry Sunday ~ No Heaven in Hell

Pss. 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”

No Heaven in Hell

*a repost from 2015

There is no heaven in hell

Only a place for sin to dwell

The liars charred in flaming fire

When hell becomes their one desire.

There is no hell in heaven

Souls transform like leaven

To rise above the earthly skies

Heaven gives home to the wise.

There is no heaven in hell

The hypocrites home a shell

Tears will be shed for the dead

Who dare not cling to the Bread.

There is no hell in Heaven

Unclean souls to beckon

Roaming through the stardust light

Bid the cosmos a sweeping g’nite.

There is no heaven in hell

The party’s over it's time to quell

Thirst you crave throughout the day

Allow our Lord to Light the way!

~ ~ ~ * * * ~ ~ ~

Isa. 35: 8-10 And a highway will be there;

    it will be called the Way of Holiness;

    it will be for those who walk on that Way.

The unclean will not journey on it;

    wicked fools will not go about on it.

 No lion will be there,

    nor any ravenous beast;

    they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there,

     and those the Lord has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

    everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Poetry Sunday ~ The Soul's Ascent

Pss. 11: 1 "In the LORD put I my trust: How say ye to my soul, Flee as a bird to your mountain?"

The Soul's Ascent

I peered up at the towering mount 

That glistened from the snow

Would I reach that velvet cap 

That no one dared to go 

The very tip seems to drift

In a string of pearly lace 

No end in sight for it was hidden

Upon this rocky face 

Burgeoning trees whispered still 

They called within the deep 

Nature would carry my weary legs 

If for my soul to keep 

Every aching step I took

Impelled in me to climb 

A voice was beckoning in my head 

Transcending the sublime 

I walked on faded fury 

As the summit reared its head 

The stones were trembling underfoot 

My essence being fed 

Every time I stumbled about 

My eyes would rise to see

The brilliance of the lemon rays 

Shining down on me

I gasp for air my final steps 

What seems to last for miles 

My bated breath my moistened brow 

Slowly, sweeps the aisles

I let it out a HOWLING yell 

I gaze at the valley below

My echoes resound in empty space 

My soul begins to glow

I reach the powdered summit 

My mind now crystal clear

It's never the journey taken... 

It's relinquishing all you fear!

Our Daily Bread

Matt. 6:11 "Give us this day our daily bread."

Daily Bread of life

Did you know that doctors are legal drug dealers, they are not our bread of life? If you go to a doctor chances are you’re being dealt legal drugs. You think because he/she is a doctor they know what is best for you for certain. I think we blindly walk into the office thinking this man or woman has got the cure our bodies’ desire.

The mind is a powerful essence. Have you ever gone into a doctors office, left with a prescription, got it filled and went home and popped the pill in your mouth? Did you do any research on the dangers of the drug first? Of course you didn’t because you trust that the doctor knows what is best for you. Your mind is conditioned to believe anything a doctor says.

If you watch television, I’m sure you’ve seen the legal drug commercials, you know, the ones telling you they have the cure for cancer, arthritis, MS, depression and a host of other illnesses. It shows a beautiful, thin person, running, jogging, smiling, no sign of pain? Yeah, because she’s on drugs. She is now a drug addict. A legal drug addict but a drug addict nonetheless.

Did you ever listen to the extremely quickly spewed side effects? May cause liver damage, suicidal tendencies, migraines, brain fog, heart palpitations, skin disease and more. This is what the legal drug dealers sell to YOU! You’re fine with it because the person that sold them to you is a doctor and he MUST know what he’s doing right, he wouldn’t basically kill you now, would he?

I, along with you, have seen too many stars die from these legal drugs just to name some from my era, Michael Jackson, Prince, and Robin Williams. I know you’re gonna say that they abused these prescribed drugs but the truth of the matter is, they TRUSTED their doctor, just like you, to cure them of what ailed them. They too did not read of the side effects because they TRUSTED their doctor.

When I was diagnosed with this dreaded disease and they wanted to sell me their product with words like cure, cure, cure, life, life life, do it, live. The words echoed in my mind like a tuning fork. When I very simply, calmly asked for time to think about it, research the drugs, there was marked frustration and anger filling their voices. I’m talking two oncologists, trained doctors whose job it is to heal! The Hippocratic Oath jargon? They don’t heal; they are drug dealers, nothing more. The antagonists went on to say words like non-committal, fear, and death. Yes sir, those are words you want to hear from a doctor. I myself would like to hear words like heal, health, nutrition, but it is not to be so with doctors, the majority of them anyway.

From Wikipedia: “It is often said that the phrase "First do no harm" (Latin: Primum non nocere) is a part of the Hippocratic oath. The phrase as such does not appear in the oath, although the oath does contain Latin: ... noxamvero et maleficium propulsabo (Also ... I will utterly reject harm and mischief). The phrase "primum non nocere" is believed to date from the 17th century (see detailed discussion in the article on the phrase).

The very Oath that a doctor will swear by is to DO NO HARM, yet they prescribe drugs that are basically going to destroy that which God made. I find it kind of ironic that some dentists don’t like to prescribe antibiotics or pain medications. The dentist I went to told me that the body was made in such a way to heal itself, antibiotics can hinder the immune system from doing what it was made to do.

Faced with this illness, research led me to the prescribed antibiotics I took as a child for mononucleosis, tooth loss, infections, and mercury fillings; as a child! Yes, the illnesses and the prescribed drugs have now come back to haunt me.

So as you sit there ingesting drugs on a daily basis, try to think of the illnesses that ARE going to strike you down the road and rest assured they will strike. What is going to be your first line of defense, taking more drugs from the pill pushing doctor? Sure, because you don’t believe that health and nutrition are the actual cures.

Our daily healthy life sustaining bread has been in us all along and we only needed to tap the source to find a healing or a CURE for ANYTHING that ails us! God wasn’t messing around when He created us, He made our systems in such a fashion that we have the ability within us to heal. Granted, we DO need doctors because we’ve ignored the Holy Spirit, the sustaining waters and bread of life, all of our lives and now we need a pacifier to make us feel all better and to shut us up, we’re programmed that way.

Luke 4:4 "And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God."

Poetry Sunday ~ The Soul's Descent

Gen. 28:12 "And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it."

The Souls Descent

***

Plummeting downward I watched it fall;

the deep abyss the shadowed wall.

Gripped by pain and tidal emotion;

wrought with fear an inner devotion.

In this fissure of my being, 

analyzing all I'm seeing.

The foulness of vengeance lurks throughout,

seeds of hatred sprinkled about.

Where once there lay a fluent stream,

drought and hunger fuse a team.

Lust it lingers in this pit,

I try to flee...but here I sit.

Liquid anger claws at me,

my very essence squints to see.

Howls and screams ~~ a wailing sound.

crimson walls melting 'round.

Fires racing torments edge;

keeping me from realities ledge.

I struggle within this master's plane,

as wilted red walls fall down like rain.

My soul has found a resting place,

torrents of tears streaming down my face.

Trickling along like glistening sand,

I hold my pain in the palm of my hand.

Rom. 10:7 "Or, Who shall descend into the deep? (that is, to bring up Christ again from the dead.)"

*a worthy repost

from 2012

Doubt

1 Tim. 2:8 “I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.”

Doubt

Sometimes I hear doubt and fear in the voices of people’s words. Words like “I hope you know what you’re doing.” or 
“I hope you can beat this.” or 
“I can’t wait to see you pull off this miracle.” 
Doubt is not part of my vocabulary and hasn’t been from day two of my diagnosis. Granted on day one it shattered me, crumbled me like a dry leaf but by day two I had my boxing gloves on and came out fighting!

People that have doubts in the ability to treat and heal something like cancer, Alzheimer’s, chronic illnesses such as psoriasis, eczema, or asthma the list is long, those people are programmed to believe what they were taught when they were young. They are not open to old herbal remedies or new technology, or new studies in cures and don’t do enough current research as to where a person is coming from when they do things holistically.

A doctor doesn’t always know what’s the right thing to heal you. They were trained or should I say programmed with one thing that they were taught. It’s like using a Windows7 in a Windows10 environment, things change! Things are different and if you are not willing to grow with the change, you will be left behind, scratching your head and allow doubt to control your world. In this place, you will allow chronic illness to fester until the root explodes in your face and you have to be taken to the hospital and be placed in the doctors' hands to find out what is wrong.

The doctor will then do a host of tests from MRI’s to bloodwork, he’ll get results and give you drugs. If you pry and ask what is the problem and the root cause of your condition, he will spew out everything in medical terms you barely understand. With that, you believe what he/she is selling, in other words, you have accepted what he’s downloaded into your system. 

When you download a virus into your computer, you do everything possible to remedy the situation to get your system back in tip-top shape. If we took care of our bodies the way we do our computers, with delicate hands on weeding out the root of the problem, we could eliminate, CURE the disease taking over our human bodies. 

I wonder if people think God botched the job of building our internal mechanisms from our DNA to our very complex immune system that keep us going throughout our lifetime. I don’t believe He did. I believe he placed in us the very intricate details we need to CURE our systems after WE have downloaded the virus/illness, disease into our system.

I straight out ask my oncologist (two of them) to work WITH me in helping to heal and CURE me without chemo and drugs. They said (lies) they never heard of such a thing. They live in a Windows7 world! I came away from each visit empowered to find the truth in treatment. I found hundreds if not thousands of people who have HEALED and been CURED of this dastardly disease but an all intelligent doctor, the very person we allow to lord over our illness has never heard of such a thing? From his programming, he certainly knows which pharmaceutical drug to prescribe, doesn’t he?

Over and over in the Holy Bible, I read repeatedly of the herbs and spices that were used thousands of years ago to HEAL and CURE what ailed the sick. Since doctors only offer the science of synthetic drugs, they are not equipped to understand the complexities of the Bible and look to see what God placed here for us to cure and heal ourselves. They don’t take the time to learn the science of the human body being designed to heal itself. There’s no money in that now is there?

In my unscientific approach (since I’m not a scientist) I’ve found that the root cause of ALL illnesses are stress. Your body handles the stress, turns it into a virus/illness. A toxin to me is considered to be the stress you put into your body, knowingly or unknowingly. Toxins can be found in the air you breathe and the food you eat. Your internal organs react to that stress and our very intricate immune systems respond, not unlike the computer you so dearly love. 

If your computer gets a virus, what do you do? Do you buy a new computer? Well, we can’t buy a new body if our body gets a virus. Do we take them to the Geek Squad and have them doctor the machine up? Someone, like myself, would love to have a Geek doctor come in and cure my body, but does he know my body? The Geek Squad doesn’t know your computer habits, what you search for, or what you’ve downloaded to cause the virus but he sure can dig into your system to find out, right?  

In all its uniqueness I will have to say no one knows my body, internally or externally. A doctor doesn’t either and while he thinks he knows because of the diagnostic tests he runs, he doesn’t know the individual body, mind, and soul. He knows the motherboard and that’s it! Doctors and Geeks alike will pacify the problem instead of digging in, finding the root cause, and healing the system from inside.

I am not techno-savvy so I could never heal my computer. I can get a CCleaner and clean it up. I can dig into my system and see what I’ve done wrong, what I clicked that I shouldn’t have, I can remedy the malfunctioning system so it runs smoothly. As with my body, I can dig into the root cause of this disease. I can clean up my system so it runs properly. I should have taken care of it in the first place and never succumbed to this disease, but it is what it is, it’s here and I and God, the Mighty Healer of all, the Doctor who created the system will heal what ails me from the inside.

When people place doubt in their vocabulary, they have loosened their actual faith. I will never lose my faith in God because He is the One who created this body and all its intricacies running throughout my system on a cellular lever, He is the One and Only who holds the healing. Maybe at one time doctors cared about healing the people who were sick, but this day and age, the almighty dollar speaks a more healing tune to them, that’s a fact!

The simple basics of healing:
Relieve stress by eliminating as many toxins (including people and drugs) as you possibly can 
Make the air you breathe work for you not against you
Allow the warmth of the sun to nurture you 
Choose the right non-toxic food (organic fruits and vegetables, clean grass fed meat) 
Drink purified clean water 
Get eight hours of sleep 
Unplug yourself from negativity that you tap into daily
Add JOY to your life, find purpose in your life, and overflow with LOVE.

Gen. 1:29 “And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”

Putting The Puzzle Together

2 Cor. 8:2 “How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.”

Putting the Puzzle Together

A lot of the time people ask, ‘why God, why me’ but me I ask what in the world did I do wrong? Then, as in years past, I begin to lay the puzzle pieces scattered about on the table, in this case, string together words, facts, and such, and begin to put the puzzle together.

Maybe this diagnosis was to get me to open my eyes and visually SEE all the wrong I’ve been doing over the years, mainly my eating habits. Connecting my ills to my eating habits was just one piece of the puzzle but we’re talking about a lifetime of puzzle pieces here. Research has helped me connect the dots.

First, let me say, I cannot say enough about The Truth About Cancer! If it was not for them educating me in all I NEED to know to battle this crud, I’d be sitting here today a victim of chemotherapy. I think it started with Chris Beat Cancer but I also think those two are now awesome collaborators together! They are shaking this disease up and making a true mark on the illness! Want to know what the BEST part of these two teaming up? They are BELIEVERS in God!

I am nine weeks into my HEALING and at this time I would have had two rounds of chemo, nearing my third. I’d be curled up in a ball, relinquished to my bedroom and on drugs to keep me from vomiting my guts out. The clumps of hair would have begun lining and clogging the tub, the weight loss would be from the toxic input of chemo, and I would now be a toxic fume in my house bothering the tenants with the remnants of odors emanating from me. It’s called second-hand chemo – and yes there is facts to back this up!

Instead, nine weeks out I’m walking twice a day, eating right and healthy, listening to calming music, healing parts of myself that I didn’t know needed healing, and finding supplements that will be a part of aiding my healing. But first, I need to know how I got this disease in the first place and TTAC has a module series (I’ve watched twice, for free!) that has helped me immensely understand these puzzle pieces. 

I have God front and center in this journey so don’t think for a minute I’m just listening to the worldwide web for my healing. God is first and foremost, front and center! My spirit-filled world is absorbing the healing and I’m being led to give YOU a message. It’s a win/win situation.

I’ve heard, on too many sites to list, that the disease has been inside me for a very long time. I needed to go back and see where it all began as POSSIBLE reasons. To begin to tie it all together were the vaccines we as children that we were given, mainly the polio vaccine. That’s just one tiny piece of the puzzle. And don’t worry, there are many government websites to say this is a fabricated lie, but who will you believe is up to you.

Another piece of the puzzle was traumatic events as a child, possibly before five years old. Now take note, these are not the CAUSES of this disease, they are merely contributing factors. These are pieces of the puzzle that many won’t look into, they will just hear the diagnosis and trust the oncologists with their fear, slaughter, and poison tactics and ‘get cured’. It’s NOT going to happen! If you haven’t looked into, researched and HEALED the cause, there is nothing in this world capable of finding a cure.

I had a traumatic event happen when I was three and a half, I won’t go into too much detail here, I’m saving it for the novel portion of my tale. I was being pushed too high on one those old aluminum swings. I feared it being tipped as I was being pushed too high. I jumped, catching and splitting open my wrist. Long story short, I now have the scars on my left wrist (I’m left-handed, BTW) looking to some as if I was suicidal at times. (a whole different story there) Rest assured, three and a half, traumatic event, another piece of the puzzle.

The next piece of the puzzle is the correlation to a loss. At sixteen the loss of a child had to top the traumatic events in my so far, short life; then another loss of a child at thirty-seven which is enough to cause anyone to be put out to pasture. Nope, not me, I kept fighting and standing strong. My Lord will protect me and He did! Many people around me wanted me to be mad at God but it is when He made me the strongest! 

Apparently, my puzzle is one of those fifteen hundred piece puzzles or more! 
The next piece of the puzzle is dentistry. From mercury fillings of which I had too many to number, to the root canals that I had, to the major dental infection I had just five or six years ago!

Then there is the messed up spinal column. Ironically, my back pain began right around the time of my major gum infection. Coincidence? I don’t, DO NOT believe in coincidences! This is when I began my B12 consumption because I read that the nutrient could repair nerve damage. I attribute vitamin B12 with my never needing drugs for my pain because it worked!

And now, here I am with the disease of a lifetime. I’ve connected the dots from birth until now and now KNOW the cause that led to this. Keep in mind, we all have different dots to connect. As unique as this disease is to every person, so is the treatment for each individual and the very reason you shouldn’t choose chemo because of FEAR! A decision made out of fear is usually the WRONG decision to make.

Now that I know the CAUSE, I will put a little physics into the equation! The action causes a reaction! (Sue me, I use too many exclamation points.) My EUREKA moment for all to behold!!! The actions of HEALING my body, inside and out, will cause a REACTION, inside and out. Praise be to GOD!

1 Pet. 4:12 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:”

Let Go And Let God: Willpower

Matt. 4:23 “And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.”

Let go and let God: My Willpower

Okay, I realize now I’m the strong one. What would knock someone out completely has me falling apart for a day, maybe, then jumping back up and coming out swinging! Do you remember those weighted punching bags you’d hit over and over and they’d bounce right back in your face? Yup, that’s me!

I have to attribute my strength to God because He is all I’ve known all of my life. He gives me strength to go on in life day after day when a lot of people would rather just give up. I can’t give up, I have a purpose! (No, Naven jokes please.)

I see so many people struggling and only wish I could reach out and help but right now I am so focused on my healing I feel reaching out and giving my ‘Let go and let God sermon’ might be hurtful to a non-believer or a person who just doesn’t want to hear those words. He is all I know, so if you come to me for advice, if you look to me for inspiration, all that you will see is my sermon in action, I let go and let God be the driver every single minute! 

I didn’t give him much credit in driving my willpower vehicle. I didn’t even think I had any. I had hit a brick wall and I was repairing my banged up vehicle when the diagnosis of a lifetime came tapping on my door. I realized right then and there that God pushed me out of the driver seat (because after all, I did bang up my vehicle pretty bad) and He was willing to repair the damage I caused, as always.

What happened the day after my diagnosis is this, I saw a thread on grandma’s afghan. With curiosity in my fingertips, eyebrows raised, I pulled the string to see just where this path was going to lead me. Wouldn’t you know, in two months time the afghan is almost completely unraveled as I am on a warpath of HEALING! 

My first step was taking the afghan and wrapping it around me for warmth. I prayed. I normally pray for everyone else but the next few days my prayer vigil was consumed with me. I prayed for me; for insight, for strength, knowledge, healing and a host of other things. Don’t get me wrong, I put aside time to pray for others in the day but honestly, my prayer was for me the majority of the time.

I was living my sermon, let go and let God. I released everything in a weeks time when I had to visit onc. #1. Sure, she knocked me down like the punching bag but prayer, friends, and love had me rebounding! 

I knew there were things I’d have to do to see this healing through. A drastic change would have to take place and I’d have to pull every bit of strength from the very fiber of my being to tackle this; willpower! Let go and let God!

Healing takes more than taking supplements and I knew this. I’ve learned how other people were healing and what they did, my prayers were being answered daily as I was led to one healing place or another and my willpower kicked into high gear as I put my sermon into action. God was in the driver seat and I was trusting Him as each thread of the afghan was coming unraveled. 

I was being led to Dr. Mercola, Ty Bollinger (The Truth About Cancer), and Chris Wark (Chrisbeatcancer) among other sites that I’d use in my fight against the Nazi oncology invasion! I say Nazi Oncology not loosely, I use it factually. 
From google: “When did chemotherapy start?
The era of cancer chemotherapy began in the 1940s with the first use of nitrogen mustards and folic acid antagonist drugs. Cancer drug development has exploded since then into a multibillion-dollar industry.”

Did you read that, a multi-billion dollar industry? Did you know we basically funded the annihilation of millions of people in Germany? It’s amazing what a little research will find. 

What do the Nuremberg Trials have to do with doctors and Bayer pharmaceuticals? CLICK the links to LEARN. the Doctor's and the Natural News the Big Pharma. 

I do not CARE how much fake science says that mustard gas and chemo are the way to sending this disease into ‘remission’ note, not CURING. I have a spiritual God who has and WILL and does DAILY overthrow false, manipulated science and all they try to mislead people into believing. Pluto not a planet, anyone?

Why would God lead me down this path of discovery if he WANTED me to do chemo? Would He falsely mislead me, would God now become a deceiver in my life? Could satan be using my STRONG faith against me and lead me to this place? The answer is NO! God is, and always will be in control of MY vehicle! And please, your opinion and lack of trust and faith in the God I believe in wholeheartedly will not sway my decision in moving forward with HIM! 

Why would I be led to Spiritually Healing the wrongs in my past? Why would I be led to turmeric, Frankincense, myrrh and the numerous other healing supplements? Why would I be allowed to HEAL if this was not from God? I only know of One Healer! Jesus HEALED the maimed, the blind, the demon possessed, the woman who bled for twelve years, Jesus was put here on this earth to HEAL and that is EXACTLY what is happening to me right this moment! Yes, I DID sign up for the weekly newsletter and FREE report in the link above, TYVM!

When people see me, they see God in action, healing taking place, the strength of my willpower to overcome what ails me. What they don’t see is the clawing my way out of the hell that science and man has placed as an obstruction. People don’t see me daily fighting the enemy. Taking the good and the bad is all the form that willpower takes and the positive truth wins in the end! 

To find the truth that our country, our very government, keeps from us has to be dug up, researched and researched because I think we all know, our governments LIE to us and keeps the truth hidden!

Why is there successful cancer treatment centers in Tijuana Mexico? Why are the Germans leading the cutting edge technology in finding a CURE for cancer? Why is the world finding healing spots for individuals but America doesn’t WANT to find healing for the sick? I’ll tell you why I can’t find a HEALING practitioner in Nebraska, MONEY! It all boils down to where the money is at and HEALING is NOT where the money is, pacifying the Big Pharma corporations is and getting people suckered into a $315,000 YEARLY chemo cancer treatment, per patient is where all the money is! Keeping people addicted to drugs is where the money is located. And you’re wondering why I’m choosing God to treat and HEAL me? Because it is HIM whom I trust more than ANYONE!

In the coming posts, I will show the non-toxic supplements I’m using. I’ll let you into my wonderful herbivore world with the meals that are sustaining me. I’ll allow you to see the spiritual aspects of my healing from prayer to nature’s essential oils, from healing music to physical exercise and the new lease I have on life with my strengthened-everyday-willpower. You can't heal a portion of the body to heal the entire body. One must heal the WHOLE ENTIRE body; mind, body, and spirit! 

Gen. 1: 29 “And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”

I am winning the battle, although the road is still long, and the finish line is far off downstream, I’m visibly HEALING. At times when I see one set of footprints, it is then that God is carrying me! This week, with the clouds, rain, and dampness, God has asked me to rest. Not from writing, from walking. He knows how determined I am so He’s asked me to take a small break to allow more healing to take place. Today marks nine weeks—on we go friends. 

God bless every one of you on the journey He’s placed you! 

Rev. 22: 2 “In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”

*edited because it is important to the Grammar Nazi's that my words be perfect. 

Bringing You The Fruit

Prov. 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

The Week Begins…

Well, the week has arrived and I was scheduled for my doctor’s appointment barring any weather upsets that would keep me from going. I was a little nervous, not scared or worried just the normal what doctor’s deem ‘The White Coat Syndrome’. That’s when your anxiety heightens as well as blood pressure rises before and during the doctor visit. 

I think I was anxious because this wasn't just a routine exam where she’d look at me and give me a clean bill of health and send me on my way. No, this is more of the serious nature visit where you’ve found the dreaded lump and your mind reels with lies and stirs with emotions. 

I haven’t told my mother yet and for one reason only, first her mind doesn’t comprehend like it used to and second, I don’t need her negative spin on it for sure. She’ll just worry and think I’m dying of cancer, then tell me about her aunt and every other person who has died from cancer in my family (as if I don’t already know). I DO NOT need that kind of negative thought process! 

So today, the 24th I went and just as expected, I didn’t hear words I wanted to hear and wasn’t patted on the back and said good job, received a lollipop and sent on my way. No, today I heard words like biopsies and mammograms and further diagnosis. All of this I was expecting knowing the size of the lump in my breast. Tomorrow I go for a ‘consultation’ to hear what needs to be done then she’ll scoot me out the door to have my breast squeezed like oranges but I’m praying no juice comes out. Yes, I still have my sense of humor intact.

After reading an email (biblical of course) I think this very email was just what the doctor ordered for me today. It said something like God is pruning me. Have you ever seen a ripe peach tree with a bunch of peaches scattered on the ground? The tree is pruning itself of all the bad peaches or over-ripe ones. That’s sort of like me, I need pruning so my testimony of Christ is the proper fruit to go out to all of the people. I can’t give you all dead fruit so he is using my circumstances to give you an abundance of fresh fruit. 

From Ministry Today: 
“Jesus told his disciples that God acts as a gardener in the lives of those who claim him as Lord. He wants his followers to be abundant producers of good fruit, showing the world that they are children of God. But this is not enough. Instead of simply harvesting the fruit that is produced, the Lord grabs a pair of pruning shears and begins to trim the branches. A little here, a little there, until he is satisfied with the end result.

John 15:8 “Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.”

My take on the whole situation is God deems me worthy to prune. I’m not just a fruit producer spouting off scripture; I’m a living testimony of God and His masterful plan. I’m not taking lightly the diagnosis of ‘biopsies’ and ‘treatment’, I see it as bringing you fresh ripe fruit for the picking. 

Gal. 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

I had every intention of leaving my blog behind in the New Year to focus on my writing, my fictional writing and me. I guess God had other plans. He wants me to continue bringing you His Word so that you yourself can savor the juiciness of hope and love. 

While the world bathes in hate, while people spit off everything wrong with the world and people sling mud to feel good about themselves, I’m claiming my ministry of bringing God to you and possibly bring you to God. 

Don’t you see, the power of LOVE is stronger than any hatred you can sling. You can try to affect people with your mudslinging but the power of God is more powerful than any anger and hatred you try to stick on people. Your hate is laughed at, God is not mocked!  

My journey continue…

Philippians 4:6-9  “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”