“Ships in the harbor are safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”
~ John Shedd
I had used the term loosely last week. It means: the act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion. I had written for two weeks straight, post after post and thoughts of new posts were popping in my head like Jiffy Pop popcorn.
The weeklong posts of Truth were very draining on the mind, body, and soul. It took me places I hadn’t thought about because I was safely in a comfort zone, a harbor if you will. I had a second post for Friday, but never got it posted. I guess it just wasn’t necessary to drive it home.
In it I thanked the person who posted that dinosaur stuff on my wall because it made me look deep within myself. In the end, I still didn’t agree with the person, but that’s okay, we’re allowed to think differently. I needed to reflect on the Truth posts I had posted.
The two weeks of posts pretty much talked about addiction to the net, prioritizing and such, and Friday’s culmination of putting the whole puzzle together; we had a God slap moment. That’s the term we use for when it feels like God slaps you upside the head and actually forces you to see just what it is you needed to see.
When I said I would retreat, I just meant pull back, slow down a bit, look around, drink in the beauty and harmonious world around me: cows mooing, leaves falling, winds gusting. It was a seasonal end to all the heat and vibrancy of summer. Summer was falling asleep and autumn was washing over and awakening me.
Normally when I fast, I choose not to eat meat, my choice. I don’t eat much in the way of meat anyway so really I’m fooling myself but not God. But when God hears your plea for a needful peaceful quiet retreat, you best believe He has a way of making you understand; a God-slap moment.
On Friday right before I was going to post my second post, the internet cut out. ‘Okay’ I thought, ‘it’ll be back on soon.’ We waited and waited…and waited. By Monday it was still not on, and didn’t return until 6:15 p.m.! I automatically assumed I just wasn’t meant to post that post.
Being a recovered alcoholic, I knew the signs of withdrawal. Grumpy, irritable, antsy, sweaty palms the works. To keep myself busy, I played chess; probably over a hundred games in three days. I was keeping my head about me.
Adam was angry, my man was ‘trying’ to act all calm, but come Sunday, the anger shot out like a rifle shot seeking a deer to kill! I was irritable but not angry to the extent of lashing out, until the anger was slung at me. Talk about addiction! It was obvious the repercussions of having no internet was having an effect on all of us.
Come Monday and the run around from the internet provider: “Turn off your computer and modem and restart.” Then they said, “We’ll get someone out there NEXT TUESDAY.” (slaughtered the punctuation on THAT one, eh Deb?) ;)
That’s what they told my man at 9 a.m. but I called in the afternoon and they sang a whole different song. “It’s not YOUR computer, it’s the tower! (the signal bearer) We’re working on it now!” By 6:15 I heard a scream from behind me as I was washing up dinner dishes planning for a quiet evening of movie watching; Adam was elated!
His IPOD and IPAD didn’t work, so he lost communication to his ‘girlfriend’ in Pa. AND his homework. My man didn’t get to check the stats on his ‘fantasy football’ team, and we had to resort to good old fashioned Bible reading with a, get this, hand-held Bible!
By Sunday I was settling in to this ‘God enforced retreat’, Monday I felt like I had PMS three times over, but I sure got a lot more cleaning of nooks-and-crannies done! I reflected. Two weeks straight of posting and now a quite humbling retreat. This weeks posts will be about what I learned from zoning out!