1 Pet. 4:12-13 “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”
My peeve of the day? People minimizing pain.
“Just get over it.”
“Suck it up, buttercup, life goes on.”
Yup, those words right there grate on my nerves like screeching nails on a chalkboard. Telling someone to just get over their pain, depression, or anxiety, whatever burden they bear or cross they carry is minimizing what they are going through on a daily basis.
If you’ve been through the depths of hell and have come back to tell the world about your experience that’s just great, you’re the one human God has chosen to break the gates of hell but if you’ve suffered in similar pain as someone else, don’t minimize what they endure daily by telling them to just get over it because YOU survived a similar pain.
You don’t know the pain someone is going through unless you’ve walked in his or her shoes and I’m pretty sure no one has walked [metaphorically] in another person’s shoes. No, we are on our own path in life and while you may have comparable pain, similar circumstance, identical health issues, you need to know that the person enduring the affliction owns what is happening to them, it can’t be borrowed or stolen it has to be LIVED.
Offering sympathy is one thing but comparing your incident with their daily struggle takes away the healing that they have in place and the prayer that they utilize by making their illness seem like they will just ‘get over it’ when that is not the case at all. They need time to drink in the healing that they are going through so they can make plans for what they need to change (if anything) and possible routes they might take.
Can you imagine if we were all on the same exact journey? Life would be no fun that way and would we all arrive at the same destination? Of course not. Just because the journey was ‘similar’ does not mean they are the same. Life is like that sometimes, we all think we’re headed to heaven but we do nothing in our life to get us there.
Reading and believing the bible isn’t going to get you there. Attending church isn’t any assurance that heaven will be your end destination. People tend to be misinformed when they think that the outward appearance of being a Christian is going to get them into heaven.
All Christians may ‘appear’ to be the same but that is the farthest thing from the truth. We all are different in our journeying path but the one thread that unites us in a genetic strand of life is the blood of Jesus Christ running through our veins.
Our disability isn’t what bonds us together. Our illness doesn’t define who we are in the living world. Our outward appearance isn’t the link to an eternal heaven. The only thing from the physical realm that is universally ours that we carry into the spiritual realm is LOVE. Love binds us all. Without love, the path will lead straight to hell and there will be no coming back to tell us about it on twitter, or facebook or through images on Instagram.
So before telling someone to just ‘get over it’, or to pray more, hope for more, be more to the world; dig into the depths of your soul and find the love that lives there. When you want to hate…find love. If you feel the need to compare…do it with love. When you find a burning fire in your soul…douse the flames with love.
Love is one of the hardest paths to journey on. You might think it is a simple task but tapping into the well of love on a daily basis is a struggle we all must face. You can give someone directions but that doesn’t mean they’ll follow them. Just as life and the trying storms we muddle through; we own our journey, it is ours alone. We might all strive to get to the same destination but we’ll all take different routes to get there.
May the God of love bless you all!
1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”
Amen!
2 comments:
I agree Joni. People who minimalize other people's pain have no compassion, and are not true Christians. I ran into this during my 25 year nursing career so many times, and often from the nurses and doctors who are supposed to be "caring" for the patients.
In fact, Becky (my RN daughter) ran into it on Sunday afternoon, when we took my mom to the ER because she had been falling several times in the past 2 weeks, and had lumps, bruises, scrapes, and skin tears all over her body. The admitting ER doctor came strutting into her room, having never looked at her at all in the ER, and loudly demanding to know what she thought she needed to be in the hospital ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON, and why it couldn't wait until the next day. Then, when she tried to describe her symptoms, he rudely interrupted her and glared at me, Becky, and my granddaughter, "DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW WHY THIS WOMAN IS HERE ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON? ANYONE AT ALL?" My mom tried to stand up to him, continuing to describe her symptoms, and he practically ignored her, then challenged her symptoms. He told us that he could see no reason that she needed to be there in the hospital ON A SUNDAY, but that he would admit her for 24 hour observation. He asked her if she lived alone at home. She said yes, that she got along pretty well, with my brother living there and another brother close by that checks on her. He said loudly, "Well that's going to have to change really soon!" Then he stormed back out of the room. Really great bedside manner, eh?
Wow! I'm so sorry your mom and family had to endure such ignorance. The man should be reported for no bedside manner except that HE was bothered on a Sunday. He owes your family a big apology!
I'll continue prayer that God keep watch over her since doctor's are incapable of having a heart.
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