Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Family...your worst enemy?

Eph 3: 14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
[15] Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

Family....your worst enemy

I know that statement is harsh but in my experience, it is the truth. Sure your family is great, all smiles when you’re close to them, a 'normal' family with open arms, opinions, prodding and assistance. But move hundreds of miles away and see just how much your family really cares.

I think from my writing you can glean I was a messed up kid. I have four brothers and a sister and our intricate weaving of closeness ran about as layered as an Igloo’s ice block.  We were close while we could do something for one another. We were there for one another when we had to be, but there was something missing in my childhood that eludes me to this day; genuine heartfelt LOVE!

As you read in my two previous posts, there were decisions trying to be made for me, there was a lot of discouragement and there was hope dashed whenever it could be dashed, by circumstances and family that is.

I got an email the other day from a long lost family member. We had been close at one time in our lives, but ever since I left home and gave up on that whole ‘family’ business and started looking out for me, I talk to no one but my mother (daily), and my sister and niece on occasion.

Not that I haven’t tried to reach out. I called, but the calls got far and few in between until they ended completely. My family is the type, they don’t call you, unless you call them. How’s that for love? One year, my ex had given my brother three hundred dollars to mail to my son. It never made it here. Bro said he felt bad and would send it from his own pocket but, that too never made it here.

So why should I have gotten excited by an email that said, “How are you?” Because people, I hold out hope that someone from that clan really does love me. I was wrong. I wrote back in excitement, shared my joys, sorrows and triumphs and my son attending school. And the response? An ice block. “My family is great, my life is great, everything is great,” reported the email. Not one ounce of, “Sorry to hear you’re going through all of that,” nothing. A compassion-less heart, frigid.

What does any of this have to do with writing? Let me tell you. I was encouraged by the Grace of God. I went on with the Lord’s blessing. I continued through all hardships and struggles to stand firm in my belief. The writing community is my family now. They love, appreciate and encourage me, every step of the way. Just like a family should!

I now know what genuine heartfelt love is! Even if the people reside all over the world, I know to them, I am somebody. To them, I am family.

The writing community is a FAMILY. We don’t just ‘write’, we LOVE!


June said...

To hope is to be human. :)

Or maybe: to be human is to hope.

Either way, it's what sets us apart. You never know what might reach out and touch a heart.

Never give up the hope...

joni said...

I hold hope in my clutches as if it were my last piece of candy!
I think I live and breathe on hope. lol

Thank you so much for coming in and visiting all my blog posts that you've missed. It's like a warm breeze passed by on a chilly day, bringing me an uplift to my heart.

Thank you!

I can't say it enough. The writing community is my family now. :) Hey, that's one thing I don't need to hope for, because it is FACT!

(((((bighugs June)))))))

June said...

You are so very welcome, Joni - and <<<<***HUGS!!!!!***>>>> right back at you.

We have a great community. All anyone has to do is ask...and support shows up from all angles. :)

Hope IS eternal....


Yvonne said...

I have 4 sisters and a brother. None of them call me except one sister who calls when she needs something. I call my mom every day. My husband and my kids and my friends are my family. Like you, my hope is tangible. I carry it around always--sometimes it's very heavy. I would have jumped on that e-mail just as you did. Hugs
Von from WVU

joni said...

Thanks Von, this post was an emotional form of healing for me. It's like if I get it all out, I don't have to carry around the baggage any longer.

My life these past seven years AWAY from the family have been beneficial to my spirit. It's just think that maybe, they miss you.

I have my beau's family, my writing family and a new perspective on life no matter where it carries me.

I wash it off...and move on!

Thanks for your support! :)