Paranoia Won't Win

Pss. 3:8 “Salvation belongeth unto the LORD: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah”

Paranoia Won’t Win

The holiday season is slowly creeping up on us. While Sunday the fifth was a family event for me, it was basically a prelude to what I can expect at the family get together for Christmas this year.

I think I can say without a doubt that this year has been a year filled with paranoia where toxins, food, and family are concerned. Oddly enough (or maybe not) my faith hasn’t been shaken as I fight for my life out here in the real world. I am more concerned with the food that’s being served at get-togethers and being around his family who might have questions, but paranoia didn’t win in the end. I shrugged off the anxiety and faced the people and event head-on.

When we walked in the door on Sunday, the aroma began its assault on me but didn’t break me. Society breaks me more than the family gathering ever can. Empty plates spread out on the tables and the attendees just finishing up, now in the chatting mode as laughter could be heard throughout. When we walked further into the house, his aunt asked me if I wanted something to eat and I kindly said, no thank you, we had already eaten. My hubby wasn’t hungry either as he ate a nice big cinnamon bun before we left our house. He’s been trying so hard to cut back on soda, sugar, and sweets that he turned down the brownies that his mother offered him until she placed them right in front of his face and kept asking over and over if he wanted any until he buckled. The man cannot refuse his mother. No means no goes right out the window.

The only one that opened the discussion on my health was his cherubic aunt. She is eighty years old but looking at her wrinkleless face, you’d never know her age. I’m telling you, my face has more wrinkles and age than her beautiful smooth face. She has the face that I’d imagine that of an angel having, it also helps that she reminds me of one of my grade school nuns. She drives down to Nebraska from Sioux Falls South Dakota to see her family a couple times a year!

She wasn’t intrusive, she was compassionate and I have no problem at all telling her how my protocol is going and all that I’m doing to keep myself alive. She is very supportive and agrees with everything I’ve done so far and will continue to do. She told me she prays for me every night and adds me to her church prayer list weekly. 

I realized something this weekend. I have an iron will! After being bombarded with what I should and shouldn’t eat for nine months, gently nudged with every beat cancer newsletter out there, with aromas abounding from every direction, I’m being, to me, brutally attacked by the toxic invasion.

Speaking of toxic invasion, I use my writing as a safe haven. My blog is my corner of the world that no one can bully me into submission. I write what I want and when I want, typos and grammar shreds to pieces in my hands and I don’t give a flying fig! If people worried as much about their health as they do my grammar incapability, I imagine they’d be pictures of health. I’m out here fighting for my life and you’re worried about a run-on sentence, a missing comma, and lousy punctuation? Honestly, I think you need more help than me. Just saying.

I write my blog as a journal. I share my blog so people can see what I’m going through and maybe in some small way help just one person to change their life. I’m not writing to be published, I’m writing for ME, to share with YOU, and hoping along the way, you see a glorious God working in me. That’s it, that is all I’m doing.

I think I may just need a break, from writing, from sharing, and basically from the world. God has given me the strength to get through this year; He has helped me decipher the positive from the negative. He’s given me loving caring friends who walk this walk with me and had it not been for them, I don’t feel I could muster the strength to get through all of the paranoia that invades my comfy zone.

I have changed so much this year, inside and out. I’ve allowed paranoia to try and take hold of me like the toxic everything that surrounds me. I am gently moving into what is good for Joni phase as I weed out the ‘I don’t need that phase’ and what OTHERS want for me. This journey is about ME. If your doctor wants to load you up on drugs and you take it all in like candy, good for you. Me, I am adamant about not accepting drugs as a normal way of living. I’m on a journey of health. If that offends you or makes you cringe, I’ll pray for you, it’s all I can do at this time.

I told my niece this weekend, “I feel great! I feel alive!” She asked me what I was drinking. I said I’m high on life! For four years I could barely walk, I was, many days, walking with a cane, unbalanced and depressed that my life was descending into a bottomless pit. God pulled me out of that pit with CANCER! While some see that diagnosis as a death sentence, I see it as a life sentence. I will have this illness for the rest of my life, but I am embracing the change of seasons not being swept out by fear and paranoia. God has granted me the STRENGTH to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, CHANGE the things I CAN, and the WISDOM to know the DIFFERENCE! (and no, I never went to A.A.) 

As God has abundantly blessed me on this journey may He bless you also on your journey. 

Pss. 24:5 “He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”

An Overly Obsessed World

Job 26:6 “Hell is naked before him, and destruction hath no covering.”

An Overly Obsessed World

There is a sickness running rampant through the veins of society as a whole. I’m not finger pointing a color, culture, nation or country; nope I’m pointing fingers at human beings, well those things walking on two legs that CALL themselves humans. Judgment? No, just an observation of the reality that we all have to face.

We are hell bent on destroying the world in any manner that we can. I am hard pressed to see any generation over the years that didn’t bring about some form of destruction on the world. I sometimes wonder if God didn’t create the world just to watch us totally annihilate the planet we live on, and you wonder why we’re looking to see if Mars is habitable? We’re obsessed bringing about the destruction of earth.

All you have to do is turn on your computer and it is evident. I have a mother who has never used a computer so she has to see it firsthand on television or read about the ruination in the newspaper. And we all know that those forms of information are lies that the media allows through our open window.

Ezek. 31:16 “I made the nations to shake at the sound of his fall, when I cast him down to hell with them that descend into the pit: and all the trees of Eden, the choice and best of Lebanon, all that drink water, shall be comforted in the nether parts of the earth.”

We are:

Destroying the atmosphere – I see this in contrails and the emissions from cars. The slaughter of perfectly healthy trees to make way for roads and more homes to house more and more people who are spreading out into the world by the billions causing us to be in astronomical debt for the extinction of the human race.

Destroying the waters – Polluting waterways is nothing new but a new exterminating process is underway in the form of pipelines running under the sea or river ways. Yeah, I don’t see a catastrophe happening there. 

The oceans are just vast graveyards for bodies and excrement that we relieve ourselves from, thinking the garbage hides on the ocean floor not realizing the chemicals bleed into the water taxing an already deplete ecosystem. 

Destroying farmland – By justifiable means of chemically treating our food sources and justifying our decision, we are encouraging unhealthy spores of illness to arise in a nation wrought with cancer killing illnesses on the rise and it is not going down. New illnesses are bred from the misdirection and misinformation being fed to humankind.

Matt. 10:28 “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Destruction by overmedication – We have a world dependent on drugs, prescription or illegal sources, we dish out medication like a daily dose of candy on Halloween night. Hand the person a pill to pacify their illness, make money and raise addicted children who need the same meds, daily. When the pacified child no longer feels good from the meds he/she has been prescribed to all of their life they seek out a stronger (illegal) drug to quiet the demons eating them to pieces.

Destruction by monetary gain – If there is a dollar to be made, rest assured destruction is not far behind. Whether earned, begged for, borrowed or stolen, money is all part of the downfall to humankind. Money is the root of all EVIL!

Isa. 28:15 “Because ye have said, We have made a covenant with death, and with hell are we at agreement; when the overflowing scourge shall pass through, it shall not come unto us: for we have made lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves:”

Destruction of morality – There is a massacre taking place by the elimination of morality on a grand scale where even our newborns are being exploited. Humanity is obsessed with nudity, sexual pleasures, defiance, brazenness, naiveté, and gullibility.

We obsess over breast – to the point that something that is supposed to be beautiful between mother and child has become a contrived exploitation of a viral epidemic where breastfeeding is no longer a bonding moment between mother/child, it is between mother and the virtual world.

Prov. 27:20 “Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.”

We obsess over sex – to the point that millions of dollars are made by legal ‘gentleman’s clubs’? ~ Seriously, what kind of GENTLEMAN lusts over naked women? 
Pornography sites, illicit boob-bearing hamburger joints, all the way down to the barely-there costumes of the surgically enhanced cheerleading squad; sexual deviation is another legal sickness that will never be addressed. 

We obsess over looks – So much so, that beautiful women have themselves sliced and diced to ‘look’ better when all that the surgery does is makes them look like an ego driven living Barbie doll; plastic and not real. We’re obsessed with the real and the surreal. The fantasy and the delusion of fabricated truth.

We’re obsessed with rights and being right in a world where everything is wrong! We’re obsessed with clicking and baiting; we’re obsessed with primping and prepping. We’re victims of having or being had. I, as a God-loving woman, (Christianity doesn’t live on this earth anymore) have become a delicacy to the masses that are trying to devour me and ridiculed because I won’t be a part of their game plan.

Pss. 9:17 “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”

I won’t do the YouTube boob bait. I won’t partake of the Instagram food bait, the facebook, I’m  right, you’re wrong bait or any-other-virtual-predator bait. We are an obsessed nation with baiting you with legal sinful pleasures that you later justify as just being normal.

Prov. 15:24 “The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath.”

I have come to the conclusion by merely observation that this world is NOT God’s world this is satans domain and we’re all in hell digging and clawing ourselves out of the pit to gain access somewhere in the heavens. May God have mercy on our soul!

Pss. 86:13 “For great is thy mercy toward me: and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell.”