Dust to Dust

Luke 11:36 “If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light.

Dust to Dust

People are who they are, 

and kill what they must,

they’ll continue where they will 

and dust what they dust.

I am who I am

I shant live to die

They tell me I can’t 

I don’t accept their lie. 

Society lay claim

All glitter is gold

The shine is now frittered

The soul has been sold

Tune into the Father 

For all pain to be lost

An umbrella in the rain

The Word now embossed.

Cleansed be the body

From sin do we cry

A Light stuffed bin

Our peace when we die.

From now on 

I’ll kill what I must

As my Savior reigns still

My ashes become dust.

Half A Century

(google image)

Jude 1:2  “Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied.”

All of my life I’ve lied about my age. When I was 16 I lied and said I was eighteen so I could get served liquor in the bar. When I turned eighteen, the drinking age was changed to twenty-one and wouldn’t you know it, I lied then too. Funny thing is, when I was nine and going to the bar with my mother and father I didn’t need to be a certain age and I was very good at being mischievously sneaky in getting a drink. 

It began earlier in life when I used to go to bingo with my mother and you had to be sixteen but at twelve I didn’t look sixteen and by the time I did look sixteen I didn’t want to go to bingo I wanted to go to bars. What a phase. 

Many people are ashamed of their dark past escapades but I can’t hold shame because it was the years that I was forming being shaped into the person I am today. Just so you know, I quit drinking at twenty-one because there was no more mystery and excitement and well I had already been married for four years at the time so life was steam-rolling ahead.

Even when I first entered this windowed world at thirty-seven I lied and said I was twenty-nine figuring I was the older woman to younger people, and the younger woman to older people, if that makes any sense. Even a few years ago, my nephew (by marriage) asked my age and I instantly replied closer to forty than I am to fifty. 

Even at CHURCH I told my friend whose wife is the same age as me that I was over forty and not near fifty. He replied, “Good because once you hit fifty, it’s all downhill from there.”

So why do we lie about our age? I have my guesses but the reality is, we are all too eager to be older then when we get older we miss being younger. Reality has a hold on me now, I’m NOT getting any younger and yes I’m getting older, just like everyone else. Maybe I’ll finally catch up to my friends who are all nearing sixty or older.

My friend said that it’s all downhill from here but darn, I’ve never started climbing uphill or had that moment of an uphill so why do I go downhill from here? I don’t. I stay myself and take what is tossed at me in the winds of change and embrace it for what it is, change! 

The year of change is taking on different hues and as I celebrate 50, and my mother celebrates the day back home with me, (yes, I was born on my mother’s birthday) and we keep climbing UPHILL to that stairway of heaven that awaits us at the end of this journey, I embrace the odyssey. 

To all the people who wish me a happy birthday, I thank them from the bottom of my heart. I have never in my fifty years had a birthday party for myself, my mother always had a cake that said happy birthday, Del and as a side note the cake would have ‘and joni’. My birthday was never a celebration of me and I learned to accept that. A birthday is just the day you mark yourself and shout out to the world I MADE IT ANOTHER YEAR! People are happy that you’ve made it another year and thanks to facebook many people get to celebrate your day in some way with you. 

While my life continues on and I can rejoice living another year, I’m not done climbing yet and the hill seems steeper and steeper with each step. I will move onward and upward no matter what limitations my body has and now when people ask my age instead of saying ‘over the hill’ I can say ‘still climbing’. I’m okay with that.  Teeheehee

As Holy Week this year includes my birthday smack dab in the middle, I will continue on the path of sharing all that God has filled me with in my life and through me you will see a spirit-filled woman who is truly blessed in every sense of the word. 

God bless each and every one of you as He has me!

Angel always…godspeed!

Jude 1:3 “Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.”

A Conscious Decision

Picture by Elaine DeBaucher

Matt. 15:17-18 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?
But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

On a daily basis I wake and find that I have to make a conscious decision of doing right instead of wrong, being good instead of bad, listen without jumping in and breaking the train of thought that goes into making a conscious decision.

Here lately I’ve been feeling like I’m browsing the streets at Mardis Gras. I’m wandering around people I’ve known for years but only from a virtual standpoint and they are wearing lavish masks. They are wearing make up, their hair is adorned in barrettes and baubles and beads are slung around their necks and the smile, they carry an eerie smile.

Why is it an eerie smile? Because when the mask is lowered, the windows are opened and you glance at their eyes, the doorway to the soul, and you glimpse the true them that they were hiding.

What I’m saying is that some people think of the Mardi Gras as a lifetime event carrying the mask with them wherever they go. That is all many people get a chance to see. They like what they see, the cloaked character is then happy being disguised this way because he/she is liked and almost worshiped.

We’re a people who accept the masks, make light of it and clings to whatever is spewed forth from the mask, never doubting the wearer. But I myself oftentimes see under the mask and all that is hidden and sometimes it scares me immensely because I too at one time was fooled by the mask wearers. Under the mask isn’t so pretty.

As a Christian, we make the conscious decision to not lie, cheat, steal or hide behind a mask. There are some who call themselves Christians and make a conscious decision to lie, cheat, steal and hide behind the mask, they’re happy there; in that place of fooling the onlookers. People are deluded and that makes the mask wearer happy. Then there are non-Christians who could care less what conscious decisions they make.

Recently I made the conscious decision to get back into writing. Not on my blog necessarily but writing and honing a craft that has been trying to elude me. I made the conscious decision to focus on the wrong things like facebook and whatnot and now it’s time for me to slap myself upside the head and regroup.

It’s not as if I have an amazing following or anything, nobody follows a non-mask wearer. They’re looking for fun, beads, excitement and a parade of activity. Me, I just spit out the truth; I don’t hide no matter how ugly the truth is to look at. Pride will be the death of many.

We live in a country that has a bountiful stock of food. How is it that a parent is proud when their child comes home happy with a kill of squirrel, deer or rabbit? How are people reveling in committing illegal acts? No matter how big or small, killing is killing, illegal is illegal; there’s no way to sugarcoat a conscious decision to make you feel better about yourself.

I have to go and reflect on what this world is coming to and what people accept as the norm. I have REAL issues to sort through and no longer will my blog be a place for my exposure of me. Just after two weeks of The Personal Essay course I’ve learned the difference between personal and private essay writing.

I am making a conscious decision to focus on my family, my faith and ME. Have an abundant Christmas full of love and beauty and may the Light of the Lord be with you all. Godspeed!

1 Kings 8:61 Let your heart therefore be perfect with the LORD our God, to walk in his statutes, and to keep his commandments, as at this day.