Dust to Dust

Luke 11:36 “If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light.

Dust to Dust

People are who they are, 

and kill what they must,

they’ll continue where they will 

and dust what they dust.

I am who I am

I shant live to die

They tell me I can’t 

I don’t accept their lie. 

Society lay claim

All glitter is gold

The shine is now frittered

The soul has been sold

Tune into the Father 

For all pain to be lost

An umbrella in the rain

The Word now embossed.

Cleansed be the body

From sin do we cry

A Light stuffed bin

Our peace when we die.

From now on 

I’ll kill what I must

As my Savior reigns still

My ashes become dust.

The Fourth Week of Advent: The Star

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.

Matthew 2:10

The Star

The star was present through the night 

A shining ray of guiding light

They saw the shimmer in the sky

Knowing for a reason why.

A promise that so many knew

But countless thought that it not true

How can God come down as man

Live on earth and take a stand?

A booming blessed trumpet blared

For those who listened and prepared

It was no secret if truth be told

But man assigned a lie so bold,

Kill the firstborn, that will save

A world of people from all He gave

Have them look not at the sky

But in the hearts of those who cry.

Dim the star, the breathtaking Light

That guided man this wondrous night.

Every mother, father, daughter, son

Will behold this Glorious One.

As we grieve the world that shatters

For man consumed with earthly matters.

Remember the Gift, the glorious start

Of Christmas day found in your heart! 

Luke 2:11-14 (KJV)

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Poetry Sunday ~ Hosanna! Hosanna!

Mark 11:9 "And they that went before, and they that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna; Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord:"

Hosanna! Hosanna!

He gave life to the dead, cleansed the impure

healed the sick, became all lepers cure.

Fed the hungry, gave sight to the blind,

revealed the innocence of a child's mind.

If you were thirsty, He gave you to drink,

Washed away sins with nary a blink;

Of his eyes we shined while light was dim

righteousness filled our cup to the brim.

Turn your cheek from the one that maims

seventy times if you burn with flames

Forgive, forget, move on I say

I’m reaching out to show you the way.

Disciples slept, while Jesus pleaded

to let him live unless he was needed.

Crying out, He returned to die

while all looked on, not batting an eye.

They rejoiced and sang; praised his name

Hosanna! Hosanna! Into town he came.

Fronds of palms were laid at his feet.

All glory to Jesus our Savior we greet.

But lo and behold this man betrayed,

was scourged and beat but never swayed!

“My Father My Father why have you forgot,

I gave them all that you said they’d have not.”

With one last breath, he gave up the ghost,

shedding blood where man needed it most.

Our sins are forgiven, our God came as man

in wondrous fete generations will span.

Will we remember the sacrifice made?

Can we ever honor the price that was paid?

Do we respect all things that He taught

our souls are free for sins his death bought.

My Glorious redeemer, Savior and King,

I bow with honor my soul shall sing.

Luke 23: 34  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

My yearly favorite!

All praise and Glory to God! 

Poetry Sunday ~ I Was Weeping

Christ-mas display in Texas 

John 19:25-26 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

I was weeping…

There were some who placed Him on the cross;

while others pulled His linen to toss.

Some were poking spears in his side

while women below were weeping and cried.

I was weeping.

Men were standing there mocking Him

some laughed and scoffed as His eyes grew dim.

Wails could be heard all across the way

as God put an end to the longest day.

I was wailing.

Some contend He was a guilty man

but only God knew his master plan.

Carried off to a cold empty tomb,

women followed; their faces bore gloom.

I was full of gloom.

In three days she came looking for

a Man that laid in the tomb no more.

Run and tell men to praise and sing

The Lord has risen, our Savior and King!

I was singing!

While many stood in disbelief

there were some who felt great relief.

Not all men nailed Him to that cross

Some people wept and felt the loss.

I was weeping.

Matt. 28:5-9 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him.

The Hustle and Bustle of the Season

James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”

The Hustle and Bustle of the Season

While everyone is trying to get into the spirit of Christmas, get his and her trees trimmed, the light show twinkling outside, the house was done, the home brimming with presents, the rush of the holiday season can be overwhelming. Then you see people saying ‘remember the reason for the season’ when they themselves don’t even take the time to slow down and remember why this season exists.

Did you know even atheists celebrate Christmas? They don’t know why but they’ll stand firm and say they’re just doing what everyone else is doing, or they do it for the food or that it’s just another day they can party.


The pagan holiday is celebrated around the world in many odd sorts of traditions and folklore. While each of the religions in America celebrates Christmas in different ways, the holy day (designated by man) is celebrated in a select number of ways. The only thing Christians agree on is that it is the celebrated day of Christ’s birth. It would take America to turn Christmas into a materialistic commercialized holiday.

Since America is considered ‘the melting pot’ with a diverse nation of cultures and religions, Christmas is celebrated in individual fashion from the Irish, Germans, Greeks, and Italians, to the atheist, Catholics, Jewish, etc. all celebrating Christmas in their traditional fashion. Even I find myself celebrating the holiday different than what is traditionally accepted and expected.

As a child, I was no different than anyone else waiting in anticipation at the top of the stairs for Santa to deliver lots of new toys! Even though we were very poor, we never knew it by the hustle and bustle leading up to the day of presents. Christmas day was all about the yearly family get-together as the family would visit us or we’d go house-to-house visiting family. I grew up in the city and most of my relatives lived within a one-mile radius.

By the time Christmas night came the adults in the family were unrecognizable as inebriation was the norm for Christmas day in my childhood. No church, no tradition, just booze and presents. Not that we kids minded but by today’s standards I believe my entire childhood would be unacceptable to the normal folks of the world. Normal, does anyone have a normal Christmas and honestly, what IS normal?

Maybe this is why I set off at a young age (seventeen) to be different, started my own traditions, mingled with the robotic traditions of the day and tossed a lot of what was ‘acceptable’ to the world out the window! I think I took what I saw as silly traditional pagan rituals and conformed myself to be more of what Christ would’ve been like if December 25th WAS His birthday.

In MY mind, I didn’t see Jesus as running around making sure he bought everyone the perfect gift, made sure he had a Santa on his lawn, lights and tinsel all over the place. No, I would think Jesus would keep it quite simple and use symbolism as gifts and decorations. He wasn’t so focused on himself selfishly, no he GAVE instead of received and he kept it simple, a rock, a tree branch, a candle, his heart, his soul, His LIFE.

As a people, we are steeped in tradition. We carry out our Christmas as what our parents handed down to us and we carry on those traditions for our kids and give them our spin of the traditional holiday. In other words, we took away the holy day and made it a day of tradition and celebration. Somewhere along the passing of the torch, we lost what the real meaning of the season was meant to be, to begin with.

It’s been about twenty-five years since the hustle and bustle season got under my skin. Now it is laid back with the day being celebrated as a visit to my brother-in-law's house where we all get together to eat. The family stopped the ‘gift exchange’ quite a few years ago and now it is just a day to celebrate with family. What a humble bunch of people my Lord blessed me with!

This year has taken on new shape and meaning for me. Last year at this time I was anticipating a doctor visit pretty much sure of what the diagnosis would be. My Christmas was overshadowed by pain and concern. Now almost a year after my diagnosis I’m no longer filled with pain but with Hope as my Lord has given me once again a new meaning to the Christmas season. As society becomes overwhelmed by the materialistic hustle and bustle of the holy-day season let us remember the humble, the less fortunate, the homeless and the hungry. Let the living Hope live on in the front and center of the holiday instead of being masked in the shadows. Let the Light of the Lord shine down on you this season.

God Bless Everyone

Hebrews 1:1-4 “God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds; Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high; Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they.” 

My D-Day

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! … And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4, 7 (NIV)

My D-Day

It was a life-altering diagnosis, to say the least. January 25, 2017, will be forever ingrained in my head. My D-day, the day of diagnosis; the pain-filled moments, the buckets of tears, the burden of fears. But wait, out of the somber ashes rose life, promise, hope, and change. What happened? How did I do a 360-degree shift in my ways and thinking? 

I read an email this morning and this is a pastor who received news that his father had the dreaded C. He buckled, he caved but then he prayed and praised. What comes over people in the midst of grief that they feel the need to turn to God? I can’t speak for anyone else but I know why I turned to God because He is my life. He’s not just a pie in the sky man in the clouds, He is my Father and the one I turn to when life seems to be going wrong and even when everything in life is going right. 

Pastor Chris on his father - “His treatment successfully eradicated the disease from his body. However, the cancer returned the following year, and my beloved father passed away a few months later.”

Just like the Pastor, I relied on God then, now and always. My Father’s Words showered over me to comfort me, to carry me, to strengthen me and yes, to heal me! I came home on that brisk cold January day with God pressing on my heart. As the boxes of used Kleenex filled the trashcan I was being comforted in a way I can only describe as a mystical experience because it didn’t feel like a normal everyday event if felt supernatural from a Holy Spirit I had come to depend on, know and trust with every aspect of my life.

2 Tim. 4:18 “And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (KJV)

As I read the email I kept hearing in my head, eradicated but returned. Over and over the truth of the matter was the very essence that kept me strong when I myself was diagnosed and going against what the doctors wanted for me. Many of my aunts and uncles, lost their fight with the battle because it was eradicated only to return until they eventually succumbed. This was not going to be my battle.

My D day was not my death sentence day, not my diagnosis of death, it was my Day of Deliverance! I was set free from the chains of toxicity. I gained intimate insight of the traumatic illness that had taken over my body. Life was breathed into my nostrils as the tears dried and the fight became a war that was attacking from inside and out. Someone else in my family was not going to war on this ailment; I was chosen to go into battle because God knew I was little but I was the chosen one to handle the life-altering battle that came knocking on my door. I felt very much like the way David must have felt coming face-to-face with a giant and his only arsenal a slingshot.

1 Sam. 17:45 “David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

The BC group I’m a part of says not to use words like war or fight because they have negative connotations but to me, they are the Words that God gave me to use on this journey. I’m not playing poker here. I’m not skipping through daffodils. I’m fighting for my life and everyone else that comes after me who is scared and shaken into submission by the Giant Doc/Pharma. I have to keep in mind that not everyone is serving the same Lord that I listen to and serve. I’ve also learned in ten months not to listen to other people and all of their protocols because every single one is different. Opinions are different, protocols are different and each disease is different. We have to differentiate what supplements and health food work for us individually.

Ex. 14:14 “The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.”

That would be the same group of ladies who said not to bring God to their facebook page. While I like reading what protocols they are using in their journey, I respect that they are all healing in their own way and worship different entities. I’ve come to realize that I have something more powerful in my arsenal than most of them have and that is a bag of rocks and my Almighty Father's Healing Words. 

Josh. 23:10 “One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD your God, he it is that fighteth for you, as he hath promised you.”

I have impassioned friends who support me on this journey and those that have turned their back. Does that sound familiar to you? If you’re a believer it might, if not, then you are nothing short of the doubting Thomas’ in today’s society. To me the words war and fight doesn’t hold negativity, it holds promise! The very promise that my God filled me with on My D-Day and every day moving forward.

All praise and Glory to God my Healing Savior

An Emotional Healing

Jer. 30:13 “There is none to plead thy cause, that thou mayest be bound up: thou hast no healing medicines.”

Emotional Healing

I am so grateful that I’m a writer. I sit and wonder now if this wasn’t Gods plan all along; writing being my emotional healing tool during this phase of my life. I don’t even think I can put into words the elation I feel writing to you all and expressing my inner emotions. Some people have a hard time verbally communicating let alone penning their thoughts.

I find writing to be a part of my emotional healing. Healing that isn’t going to take place unless I heal emotionally as well. I can physically see and feel different aspects of my healing taking place. I believe I’ve penned everything there is to emotionally heal from unless there is some dark sinister revelation inside me churning that will spring up in time and devastate all the progress I’m making. 

I don’t see anything unknown popping up because, throughout my life, I’ve always been an open book where anyone who meets me whether online or face to face sees the real me, not a mask-wearing woman with hidden closets waiting to be cleaned out. 

Since I found out that stress and anxiety are partly to blame for this diagnosis, I had to dig really deep because I wasn’t even aware of the anxiety eating at me on a very cellular level. Dig and dig again finding the minutest of reasons for any anxiety I might be harboring. 

I have prayed and meditated for years but what I do now is an added meditation where I clean out my entire system from the inside out. You know how when Spring comes you’re inclined to clean out the closets and throw away old clothes and junk that has accumulated over the years? Well, our bodies need this same cleaning out and on a daily basis if we are ever to be healthy, non-toxic, non-drug induced creations. 

Anxiety stems from fear and God is not of fear. There is an enemy just waiting to pounce on the smallest inclination of any fear that hides in you. You might be of the chest pumping variety that says, I’m not afraid of anything, but let me ask, would you toss out those hundreds of dollars worth of meds? Why? Because you fear what might happen if you do? Fear is fear and yes that is a fear! Oh I can hear some saying that tossing meds is just plain stupid, but I’m saying, you wouldn’t even NEED those meds if you cleaned the TOXINS from your life.

Stress and worry are debilitating. Something as small as, will I be able to pay the bills this month, or will I have money to feed my family? They are worries and stress on levels you don’t even realize that eat at your immune system and as soon as your immune system is weakened, a disease strikes like a snake lashing out to bite its victim.

The root cause of much of my anxiety was my previous marriage. I’m not even joking a little bit here. I know many people who will say when there’s a problem within the marriage it is Godly to work it out and stay. I say whatever works for you does not work for all. And there IS a reason people divorce because they did try to work it out, they stayed until they suffocated trying to hold pieces of the marriage together. 

I was married at the tender age of seventeen and stayed in a toxic filled, anxiety-laden marriage for TWENTY YEARS! I can guarantee ninety percent of what I have attacking my body is because of my previous marriage. I could feel healing taking place the moment I left home but the damage had already been done, the cells were falling apart, the immune system had become unraveled and an illness slapped me upside the chest, quite literally.

After I left home, so many aspects of my past haunted me for years. I was out here with my Savior by my side the entire time and the enemy was back home sending out the whipping tool trying to rein me in via guilt and shame. I didn’t succumb and even after discussing divorce with my ex, he still thought he owned me and could wait years upon years before ever filing for divorce. 

My ex would never be a man and face the damages he caused, and not taking care of his son was taking its toll on my son and me. This was a layer of the onion exposed. It was bitter, it hurt peeling the reality away, it scarred me and I’m now paying for that weakened part of me. 

I filed for divorce and stood on the solid ground knowing this is what I had to do if I was ever going to heal completely. The marriage wouldn’t evaporate all by itself. The years of pain and contamination festered inside of me until it bubbled over into a deathly disease. I believed I was healing all of those years away from home and I was but like I said, the mutilation had scarred me and had detrimental results.

I am now on a path of emotional cleansing from my past. It wasn’t just the marriage but the family also. It is kind of hard throwing all of those skeleton bones out of the closet when they had been such a big part of my life for such a long time. I need to let go to heal. I’m freeing myself of the ties that had me bound. I am standing on the solid Rock of my Lord who has blessed me unconditionally all of these years and it’s the only emotional cleanser I can use.

I have people whom I thought were my friends abandon me and I have to release them too from any obligation of caring for me. I need real friends to surround me and lift me up and not abandon me when I NEED them the most. I’m not in this alone, if you say you’re my true friend, you are with me on this journey, like it or not, God has called you to CARE!

From the link above: “Take the time NOW to do an inventory of individuals you can count on. Who can you truly rely on to be there in your darkest hour? Who may have a listening ear? Stay away from those who leave you burnt out and stressed.”

I need to release some people to feel the full crux of the healing aspect. This realization of a traumatic marriage is a good part of my cleansing taking place. I have to release guilt, shame, and blame to free myself to accept the mending of my immune system. Emotional healing is never fun but it is an exhilarating portion of the patchwork quilt that will cover me, comfort me and HEAL me for the rest of my life.

All praise and Glory to God!

Acts 10:38 “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.”

The Onion: Peeling Away Layers

1 John 1:5 “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

The Onion: Peeling Away the Layers

An onion, peeled away, layer by layer unveils a richness of flavor and health benefits; onions are good for you. As I peel away layers of my life, portions I had long forgotten and portions I’ll never forget are resurfacing. Sometimes it takes an earth-shattering diagnosis to make you stand up, take a full inventory of what you’ve stored and what needs to be let go. 

It has only been four months (this coming Wednesday) of my diagnosis that I began peeling away every essence of my being. At first I was distraught and I wanted to surrender to a slow death but instead, God had me rise above; He had me begging for life and only a life on earth with Him would suffice.

I began by peeling away layers of myself with God beside me with a broom and dustpan. He swept away the layers that brought me to this diagnosis and together we walked the healing path. Never alone I walked away from the hindrances that society would have me enslaved to, I parted ways with the negative influences that carried me here and I rose above the toxic world to find the Light of a healing path.

Isa. 18:2 “That sendeth ambassadors by the sea, even in vessels of bulrushes upon the waters, saying, Go, ye swift messengers, to a nation scattered and peeled, to a people terrible from their beginning hitherto; a nation meted out and trodden down, whose land the rivers have spoiled!”

Did you know the 555 ft. Washington Monument construction began in 1848 and six years later had to be stopped for lack of funding? It would be twenty-five years before reconstruction began again. Jesus began his ministry and it wouldn’t be complete for a couple of years but he went out building the world with miracles, His word, and laying down the path we might want to take if we are to finish being constructed in His image.

God began our individual construction the moment our mother and father lay together and produced something of a miracle inside the womb. We are all partakers of the tastes of a miracle if we are living and breathing today. Slowly we deconstructed what God built by poisoning the very building blocks He placed in us to learn, grow and beautify His creation.

We sit here today realizing the onion we are, knowing we need to peel away the years of destruction if we are ever to taste the miracle that we were created to be. Some sit in arrogant denial and feel completed but deep down they know they are far from completion. It’s going to take years to peel away the obstructions, years to rebuild all that was lost, and it will take the rest of our lives to bring forth a message. The message that God planted in us at birth needs to be exposed, expressed, delighted in, honored and respected.

I hate to break the news to you but we were not the beautiful flower seeds we believe ourselves to be. When we see a newborn infant with his or her little pudgy wrinkled up body, we are not looking at a beautiful flower, what we see is the miracle of creation. In all honesty, newborns are funny looking, wriggling little creatures, but the beauty is the breadth of the miracle we witness. 

As the child grows construction comes to a halt as we have to watch our uncompleted work go out into the world and finish what we, God, father, mother began at conception. Either the toxic work of the world takes hold, or the solid foundation that we used as building materials is built upon. Our children too will one day see the layers that need to be peeled away before seeing a completed work of art.

Even the healthiest, fit, faith-based families will need to peel away layers. They are not plucking away beautiful perfect petals of a flower, they are peeling away layers of the onion, the pain, the heartache, the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve of their entire life. The regrets falling to the floor, the resentments being placed on the dustpan, the sin that consumed us tossed in the garbage bin. We are being perfected in Christ with every blemish on our soul. 

When oncologist #2 asked me, quite frankly, “Aren’t you afraid of dying?” A smile washed over my face as I thought of meeting the Lord and said in my most serene, humble voice, “No, not at all.” While he sat perplexed at my response, I knew right then and there where I was heading. I may have a few more layers to peel, but construction of completion is underway.

All praise and Glory to the Creator!

Matt 13: 37-40 “He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.”

Poetry Sunday ~ Hosanna! Hosanna!

Mark 11:9 "And they that went before, and they that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna; Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord:"

Hosanna! Hosanna!

He gave life to the dead, cleansed the impure

healed the sick, became all lepers cure.

Fed the hungry, gave sight to the blind,

revealed the innocence of a child's mind.

If you were thirsty, He gave you to drink,

Washed away sins with nary a blink;

Of his eyes we shined while light was dim

righteousness filled our cup to the brim.

Turn your cheek from the one that maims

seventy times if you burn with flames

Forgive, forget, move on I say

I’m reaching out to show you the way.

Disciples slept, while Jesus pleaded

to let him live unless he was needed.

Crying out, He returned to die

while all looked on, not batting an eye.

They rejoiced and sang; praised his name

Hosanna! Hosanna! Into town he came.

Fronds of palms were laid at his feet.

All glory to Jesus our Savior we greet.

But lo and behold this man betrayed,

was scourged and beat but never swayed!

“My Father My Father why have you forgot,

I gave them all that you said they’d have not.”

With one last breath, he gave up the ghost,

shedding blood where man needed it most.

Our sins are forgiven our God came as man

in a wondrous fete generations will span.

Will we remember the sacrifice made?

Can we ever honor the price that was paid?

Do we respect all things that He taught

our souls are free for sins his death bought.

My Glorious redeemer, Savior and King,

I bow with honor my soul shall sing.

Luke 23: 34  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Rejoice! Healing Taking Place!

                                       

Pss.5:11 “But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.”

Rejoice! Healing Taking Place!

Many might not see this as a healing taking place but let me tell you, witness a HEALING taking place. As many know I had a new oncologist visit last week and also a PET scan. Read over the past weeks posts to see my take on the onc.2 and all he had to say. Once again the issue of chemo is trying to be forced on me and I’m standing with God as I trust HIS healing over mans.

On Monday the 6th of March, I got a call ‘to inform me of my doctors appointment’ on Tuesday. Last week I told the doctor and his assistant that I COULD NOT come there this week as my husband HAS to work. He only has a part time job due to his disability and has already been missing too much time. I guess it went right over their head and they put me down anyway for an appointment on the 7th of March. I called, the woman put me on voicemail where I left a message that I was NOT able to make the visit.

On the 7th, my doctor called. His message went something like, “I have your PET scan results and you didn’t show today for your scheduled appointment.” I called right back and he was supposedly in a conference, but ironically he called me back immediately. Short conference? 

“Joni, your scan shows that your cancer is only in left breast. Good news, it is not spreading. Now we treat this with chemotherapy. You make an appointment.”

I repeatedly told him, “Not now, I have to see what else it out there, I need to look into alternative treatments, are there any clinical studies out here in Nebraska I can get in on?” Twenty different statements all with him piping in, “we have chemo, it is scientifically proven to heal you ninety percent guarantee! You come in. If you knew what I knew, you would come in right now.” He has a very strong Bulgarian accent and he is very pushy as most doctors are because they believe themselves to be Gods and the owner of your soul. 

I told him AGAIN that this is MY decision, MY body, MY choice. He said, “We no can help you if it spread and go stage four.” THAT, my friend, is a bold lie! In all my research there IS help for three-hundred pound tumors and stage four cancers. He either hasn’t done his homework, or he is set on telling lies to get his patients to commit. I like to call this ‘strong-arming’! And keep in mind, he had just got done telling me that this crud I've been carrying noticeably for a year, HAS NOT SPREAD!

I went on to tell him that I’m being hit with two thousand dollar doctor bills and tests that my insurance isn’t covering. I again said I cannot come in because my husband NEEDS to work to pay for these bills! My husband is on S.S. and works part time; he NEEDS to work. Good old doc pipes in, “we help, we get you financial assistance.”
He said he’d get his navigator to call me to talk about where we can get financial assistance for these mounting bills. I said, ‘fine’, we said our good-byes and the call ended. I felt liberated; this crud IS NOT SPREADING!!! I said my peace and left it at that. I then went to spread the good news to my dear friends and my naturopathic niece who are an immense support system at this time.

Later in the day on my voicemail, there was a message, the nurse navigator lady. “Hi, we’d like to set up an appointment for you to come see the Dr.” I believe this is getting to be borderline harassment! How come what I say goes in one ear, out the other but I’m supposed to jump at their very fear tactics? I hope they know all this is being documented. 

My niece said, “If he can guarantee 90% healing through chemo, I can guarantee 100% through alternative routes!” She is a storm trooper! My friends all said, good news, keep up the good work, let God continue to heal. See there it is! It is GOD who is doing all the healing. I don’t believe for one minute that chemo can HEAL me and thus it WILL NOT heal me. I BELIEVE God CAN and WILL heal me and I’m sticking to my dedication to Him! The Almighty Healer.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you went the chemo route and it worked for you, then praise be to God that it worked FOR YOU. I don’t believe it will work FOR ME and that is the only reason I’m choosing to go a different route. 

Matt. 9:35 “And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.”

Now someone keeps asking about surgery and the size, etc.. Let me make this clear, I am not depending on God to heal a portion of me, I KNOW He will heal ALL OF ME!!! I will not go the 'butcher me up and radiate me' route. Read that again, GOD IS THE ALMIGHTY HEALER! I TRUST HIM FOR HEALING ALL OF ME!

You all might be wondering about my arthritis and my inability to walk very well? Let me tell you, I went to WalMart the other day, I usually let hubby do the shopping but Sunday I said that I wanted to go. I WALKED to the front door, went to the garden section, walked all the way to the back of the store to the car dept., then headed over to the food portion of the store, shopped, checked out and walked back to the truck. 

I asked my husband as we got in the car, “Did you see me?” He noted, “Yeah, I did, I see a difference!” He has seen my body basically deteriorate over the years and yet here he stood, seeing a difference in just ONE MONTH of my holistic healing!

Like I said, God is not healing a PORTION of me. He’s not just carrying one illness, He’s taking hold of my entire body! This my friends is what trust and faith is doing for ME!

The other day the woods too close to our home caught fire. On a 35 mph, sustained wind day with gusts of up to 50 mph carried the towering flames higher and higher but AWAY from our home. I sat in the house so as not to toxify my lungs with the strong odor that hung in the air. But the blackness could be seen too close for me. I remained calm and prayed. My newly mopped floor was covered in soot; you could feel it skidding under your feet.

Do you see the raging battle? Are you paying attention to all that I’m writing? Where something can be seen as devastating, I am turning it into a positive. Where something is trying to control ME, I control the situation. Where things around me try to dim my light, I only shine brighter and brighter!

I am REJOICING in the HEALING taking place in my body! I am moving forward not backward! All praise and Glory to Him who is Most High!

Pss. 9:2 “I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.”

Poetry Sunday ~ In His Glory

Luke 23: 34  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

~ In His Glory ~

(c) Joni Zipp 

I’ll deeply inhale the mornings breath

walk through the day of your death;

Weep as tears falls from the sky

raise my eyes to ask You why?

Why did you leave us, why let man win

to bury the burden of human sin?

Will we sit idle and watch as you hang

forgetting all the Hosannas we sang?

Will we remember the blood on the cross

as we lust for life forgetting the loss,

can a man walk ‘round with his head held high,

knowing you came if only to die?

Agony washes through my veins

my heart laments for all of your pains.

I don’t pretend as hypocrites do

to immerse in honor every holiday or two.

I walk in the path that is set before me

trying to bathe in all your glory.

You rise to bask in heaven's glow,

and gave to me the right to sow.

I’ll carry your words, I’ll heal my heart

knowing that you will never depart.

Man tries to mask all that you’re seeing

not knowing You’ve leaked into his being!

I drench myself in the beckoning light,

that cradles me through day and night.

I drink from the cup of all your words

that fill my soul like fluttering birds.

My heart weeps red but unlike you

it only seeps my garments through.

Your bloodshed gives to me new birth

a righteous soul unveiled on Earth. 

All rights reserved: © Joni Zipp

Matt.28: 19-20 “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

Quotation Saturday ~ Life, Love, Spirit

1 John 4:13 “Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.”

“I do not celebrate the Pagan holiday of Easter. I celebrate a New Year, a new life, a new love for life and Spirit. I celebrate a resurrection of everything within me; my Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. May your day be a celebration of Christ in YOU. God Bless.”
- Joni Zipp

LIFE

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” 
― William W. Purkey

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” 
― Douglas Adams,

LOVE

Jesus to me, Joni:
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” 
― Pablo Neruda

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” 
― André Gide, Autumn Leaves

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

SPIRIT

“We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.” 
― Hermann Hesse

“It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,” 
― Amit Ray

“My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.” 
― Albert Einstein

NEW YEAR

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, 
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 
― Alfred Lord Tennyson

“For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."
― T.S. Eliot

“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire 
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For, 
May your arms Never Tire.” 
― D. Simone

links:

He Rose!

Chronology

Poetry Sunday ~ Hosanna! Hosanna!

Matt. 28: 19 - 20 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Hosanna! Hosanna!

***

He gave life to the dead, cleansed the impure

healed the sick, became all lepers cure.

Fed the hungry, gave sight to the blind,

revealed the innocence of a child’s mind.

If you were thirsty, He gave you to drink,

Washed away sins with nary a blink;

Of His eyes we shined while light was dim

righteousness filled our cup to the brim.

Turn your cheek from the one that maims

seventy times if you burn with flames

Forgive, forget, move on I say

I’m reaching out to show you the way.

Disciples slept while Jesus pleaded

to let him live unless he was needed.

Crying out He returned to die

while all looked on, not batting an eye.

They rejoiced and sang; praised his name

Hosanna! Hosanna! Into town he came.

Fronds of palms were laid at his feet.

All glory to Jesus our Savior we greet.

But lo and behold this man betrayed,

was scourged and beat but never swayed!

“My Father, My Father why have you forgot,

I gave them all that you said they’d have not.”

With one last breath, he gave up the ghost,

shedding blood where man needed it most.

Our sins are forgiven our God came as man

In a wondrous fete, generations will span.

Will we remember the sacrifice made?

Can we ever honor the price that was paid?

Do we respect all things that He taught

our souls are free for sin His death bought.

My Glorious redeemer, Savior and King,

I bow with honor my soul shall sing.

The Nativity

image from google

poem by Joni

Isa. 9:6  For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

The Nativity

They walked… in the still of the night.

On an ass… as the two took to flight

They fled… to save their unborn child

They paused… for grace was mercy mild.

The inn… no room for them to stay

A manger… is where the babe would lay.

The Light… would guide this virgin birth

He came… to save this fallen earth.

The lamb… would watch and bow his head

The beasts… huddled ‘round the hay-filled bed.

He lay… against His mother’s breast.

She wept… for now the earth was blessed

They came… to see the Newborn King

The star… led the wise men to sing.

He’s here… wrapped in swaddling clothes

Come now… His living water flows.

Rejoice, Rejoice, Oh Israel

To you has come Emmanuel.

Luke 2: 11-12  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

Poetry Sunday ~ Come To Me

Matt. 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Come To Me

Come all who are heavy laden

The burden too strong to bear

Come one come all you sinning men

In My arms feel no despair.

Rivers of living water flow

I see the streams in you

Come all who are heavy laden

The cross is the least I can do.

Come all who are heavy laden

A shadow veils your face.

Come to me you restless spirit

Be free of this sinful place.

Come all who are heavy laden

To rest your weary soul.

I am the Lord your Savior

Through me you can be whole.

Isa. 59:1 “Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear:”

Help Me Lord

Pss. 12:1 Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men.

Help Me Lord

Help me Lord it’s been a long day

My body is failing I begin to sway.

Through the mist I see them rise,

Mangy wolves in disguise.

They rant, they rave through it all

bellowing out a howling call.

Looking like sheep dressed in white

Prowling on innocence in the night

They saunter along and show their claws

Prying open my self-made walls.

I stand alone they circle ‘round

To steal the Light in me they’ve found.

In one fell swoop they’re whisked away

My Holy Savior saves the day.

Help me Lord, to always see

The You that found a part of me.

 

 

 

 

 

I Walk with Him

Luke 18: 25 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

I see a confused nation. They’re walking around dissecting the bible as if it was written to be dissected. They believe in every wind of doctrine and follow false teachers in a parade of arms waving them on.

Some might say I walk around in a blind ambition but let me tell you, I am not blind to what the Lord is showing me. Maybe He tells you to dig and dig to find the truth, dissect book by book to find the true meaning of the Word. Maybe He is the one leading you into  false doctrine? I doubt it.

People are a curious lot. They need answers to all their questions and they will shovel anything that someone is out there ready to cover them with. They will call it deciphering Bible prophecy and to my mind, they’re trying to know God’s mind and that is, to me, impossible and not able to be dissected.

I think what people are trying to do is put a Religion into a box, wrap it up and look at the beautiful present they have before them. I was always taught to think outside the box and not to conform to what others want me to think and believe, thus the very reason I consider myself a Spiritual Christian.

There is a verse in the bible that has always stuck with me:

Matt. 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

While I don’t feel in any way that this is a literal statement meaning we should all walk around with pacifiers in our mouth spewing goo-goo ga-ga, I do feel it is meant for us to become of the utmost innocence that only a child knows.

When a newborn babe is wrapped in your arms, you are touching innocence from the realm of God in the purest sense of all creation. Did you ever wonder what was going through their minds as they looked around at their new surroundings? I always thought they were wondering how to get back to the God realm and as they grew and grew they found that there is only One way to get back there and throughout life in all their journeying they were being led back TO Him.

I never felt in any way that God wanted me to pick His words to pieces, dissect book by book looking for meaning, I always felt God taking me on a journey based on faith. The newborn has faith like no other. He is striving to be led by his Creator. He doesn’t need to understand the why’s of the things God wrote, or the how’s of how he did it, or the when’s as in the precise time God created the world; all that a newborn knows is trust and faith.

To become as little children always meant to me, to take on the innocence and purity of faith and all that means. If you cannot see with your own eyes that bible prophecy is coming to fruition and you need some stranger to dissect and point it all out in black and white, you’re throwing mud in the face of faith. You’re slaughtering all that God intended you to be, a faith-filled servant.

“Religion is the belief in someone else’s experience, Spirituality is having your own experience.” ~ author unknown

If you are going to fall into the snare of religion, you are only following others and what they learned on THEIR journey. To be a spiritually vibrant person of Christ, you will have your very own journey/experience led by God, it is YOUR story to relay to people, not regurgitated words of someone else.

We live in a world where ministers are telling us, “We sin, we go to hell”, “You are saved by the blood of Christ, you’re going to heaven”, “Sin all you want, you’re saved, you’ll go to heaven.” By the way they make it sound, we’re all destined for heaven. I tend to think God had it right when He said, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Point blank, no explanation necessary.

When I think of Jacob, Peter, David, Noah and the other sinners God used for his message to be delivered, what they all had in common in the end, they had FAITH in God and ALL His works and needed no clarification. (google and wikipedia wasn’t on hand) so they HAD to become like little children tasting the truth on their tongues as newborn babes in purity and innocence.

I Walk with Him.

Rom. 1: 17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.

A World of Hate

Pss. 86:17 Shew me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou, LORD, hast holpen me, and comforted me.

They fall. They fall hard. I watch as they spin the web of hate. They lure. They lure people into their hate and have them feed. They are filled with intolerance. From behind the safety net of their walls they disagree, they paint a picture sometimes (rarely) with truth, but mostly full of discontent.

I watch them. They’re falling; falling for the deceivers web and they share the same angst and go about filling others with the same enmity. Do they sleep well at night knowing they walked doing the Lord’s work that day or do they toss and turn unending wondering what more can they fill with obliquity.

I see. I see them as a false witness spewing scripture as if they live the word when anyone can find an answer to make themselves look good. They’re not called, they’re fixated on deception. Wallowing in the murkiness of it all while pulling others with them into believing the mask that is being worn.

They hate. They are so full of hate that they can’t even see themselves. They see themselves as bearers of information but they are breeders of hate. Their sole purpose is to align society with the same anger that they are filled with. They line up one by one to follow in the misty venom.

They are cunning. Batting eyes in a pretentious manner in a stoic like stance. They are men/women who have deceived, proudly dancing in the aftermath of their destruction. They don’t see it as destruction; blindly they have been led too. Sleepwalking they are, as others walk behind.

The deception has won. How can a mere morsel of love overcome the world of hate? It is a battle that will only be won in the end times when God himself comes and lines people up. So few. So few will be ready; so few will be prepared; so few will care. They feel they have time, time in which they don’t have.

I am not full of hate. I will not serve two masters. Love and hate are masters of the psyche filling your insides to overflowing on this planet; I see hate winning as it is supposed to I guess but where will I be standing? Will I follow the wolf or lay with the Lamb?

I’m awake. I’m not walking blindly and not caring; I’m fully awake. When I see disaster, I pray. When hate is on my waking page, I pray. When animosity scatters across the streets, I don’t share the malicious content, I pray. If men/women are too lazy and blind to read and let it go, they then fill themselves with the same malevolence.

Let it go. By praying you are opening the doorway to love, allowing love to override the negative stature of the human race. You don’t align yourself with hate because in the world of love, you win.

As I walk through the thicket of the war of words, I will fear no evil. I will fill myself in the bastion of love and bathe in the luxuriousness of my Savior. I will wash off all the abomination and be cradled by the power of the Lord that wells up inside me. My shield will gallantly protect me from the heinous wolf who tries to attack me.

I will block; block the force of evil that tries to prevail in these darkened times. I will win. I will win my fight because I fight not alone; I have a shining Light that will burn out any darkness that tries to seep in.

I will fall. I will bruise my knees and skin my elbows. I will bleed in righteousness, as the walk is long and hard. I will bear. I will bear witness to the strength within me as rising up from the Lord’s hand and be a witness to all His glory.

Gather; gather yourselves among the likeness of the King. Bask in His ever-present glow and win with me. Join me in the army of Christian soldiers marching toward the One and Only Savior. Gather not with the wolves. Gather not with the talebearers, gossip-mongers, the elite of troubled ways. Gather yourselves not in a world of hate.

Pss. 35:19 Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause.