Friday, August 29, 2008

Fun with Funny Friday

Every family has a blacksheep!
Or white Sheep? Ummm... cow?
Some helpful rules for better writing:
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
11. No sentence fragments.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be ignored.
19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.


A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus."It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.
"Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."
The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?"
"Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."


Q. What's the difference between publishers and terrorists?
A. You can negotiate with terrorists.


"I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book."
Groucho Marx

2 comments:

susanswritings said...

The helpful rules for better writing are very helpful, lol
There is no Word Monday or what was it called? =D

-Susan -surving a virus attack.
PS. I keep on wondering why there are malicious people out there?

June said...

Love your funny Friday!

I've seen the list of rules in various places, but some some of the other "funnies."

Well done, and I hope you keep up with funny Fridays.

Take care,
June