Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Omaha on hold...

"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that
weep."Romans 12:15

My friends and followers have all been following the story of my beau’s blindness. As you may know, he was scheduled to go back to Omaha again today, but  he canceled the appointment yesterday.

Back in September, we were really excited to find out that the Lion’s Club was willing to pick up the tab. Lion lady told us that they would pay for the visits leading up to and follow-up visits. Excitement gathered as everyone couldn’t wait to hear the good news, that beau would see again!

That September visit didn’t go as planned. We got the news that one eye had shut down completely with no chance of seeing from again. The retina had begun to detach. The right eye, possibilities. The doctor didn’t look too optimistic to me as I sat across the room watching as he studied intently the two eyes. An ultrasound was needed. He said, “If we do the right eye, there’s about a fifty percent chance of success, which isn’t bad, but there are other factors, like this eczema, and your allergies.  I can’t guarantee the transplant will be 100% success or even 60%. Let’s get the ultrasound and I’ll know more.”

We both left the office in silence. My heart ached, and beau said nothing all the way home, except, “Lets eat.” We ate in silence. I could feel the cloud of disappointment lingering, and I had to drive and get us home. Tears kept filling my eyes, but we made it.

A month passed and we had the appointment in October for the ultrasound. Hope clutched in our hands! We were in the office ten minutes after a four hour drive, only to turn right back around to go back home. We never saw the doctor, we just saw the lady who does the ultrasound.

Not much time passed and someone from the office called and said that they could operate on the right eye. With the success rate that the doctor had pointed out. Okay, now hope is back. One eye is better than none, even if it’s for one day of sight, this is a go! We were a little excited, but I still felt some form of apprehension on beau’s part. More tests need to be done.

A few days later lion lady called and said, “I hear you’re getting the operation, just let me know the day you go in so I can let my people know.” We hadn’t been given a date to ‘go in’, we were not even told anything to that affect. He was told, “More test are needed but there is potential.”

Mixed communication. Lion lady is saying one thing(we’ll pay it all) others are saying other things (they’ll pay for the op and that’s all) and all this info is rendering beau apprehensive to the point where he just doesn’t even care if he gets this operation. What started off as feeling right, now feels as if everything is going wrong. He's like a pressure cooker about to explode. Too much pressure and *KABOOM*.

Does he want to see again? YES! We all want him to see again. But it is not up to me or anyone else. He’s a grown man and can make his own decisions. I NEVER give my opinion, this is for HIM and him alone to decide. Does he want all this confusion? NO! So he has decided to take matters into his own hands! HE will choose a doctor, go and get their opinion, in April he will have medicare and if this is meant to be, he will have this done.

Is time of the essence? I don’t know what that means. It has been a year and a half, so what is five more months? Will his eye be any healthier in April? Well, there should be as much percentage of success in April as there is today. No one knows! Only the Man Upstairs.

This is a bag of mixed emotions I just wanted to toss out to those who have followed, prayed and stood by in support of us.

I Thank You!

It is important to distinguish between opinion and judgment. Opinions open us up, judgments close us down.


June said...

I can't imagine how all of you have been feeling, especially your beau. How frustrating!

It's good that he's decided to make his own decisions.


I continue to keep of you in my thoughts and prayers.

joni said...

Thanks June,

My sanity is being taxed beyond measure, believe me.
But I'm a trooper! :)

Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming, this journey is far from over.