Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Confusion~ Conflict

Ps.71:1 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.
What a roller coaster of a ride. I have my ups and downs, my twists and turns, my corkscrew of a loop and then I live life like a straight and narrow path has been set before me as I walk along the road of life.

Sounds like a writers life, doesn’t it? Sounds like a novel. Ironically, this week in F2K, (the free writing workshop that I mentor) we’ve been working on conflict. Conflict in a story is essential, I guess, just like in life.

If we had no conflict in our story they would be boring beyond belief, no one would read a word of it, or at least they’d get so far into the story, realize there is nothing happening and decide to put the book down.

So I’m wondering, without conflict and controversy in our lives, would our lives then be boring? Sometimes which bread to buy can be a conflict on my weekly shopping trip. Although not really bread but the decision of what meals to make for seven days can stir in me a conflict.

And now I’ve come upon a fork in the road. Which do I take? The easy one that leads me to where *I* want to be, to achieve the things that *I* want. Is it all about me, me, me? No, it’s not and never is about me and what I want, it’s about a decision, made by God, and do I listen to him in his offering of settling the conflict, or do I go against what he is telling me and follow the path that I want?

A yo-yo, that is what I feel like, dangling by a string bouncing up and down wondering when the worn out string is going to snap. We in class like to use the inverted check mark.
Should be a yo-yo but really it wouldn’t define the uphill battle that the inverted check mark provides.

You start out slow going up the hill, conflict arises, you move onward and upward,  /\ , pace it nice and slow, throw in more conflict, reach a peak upheaval, then slowly resolve the conflict to give a to-die-for ending. This can be used in short stories also. You don’t want your story all cozy as a laz-e boy recliner, you want the lumpy sofa with no added pillows for cushion.

That’s my life, a lumpy sofa that needs refreshing. I like to have a plan in place, you know an outline, but when someone comes in and erases the entire central part of my outline, I need to try and figure out the outline all over again. Have a plan and stick to it. Sure, upon revision you can edit out or add to, but stick to the plan, or scrap the whole thing!

Do we go to Omaha or do we not? Does he listen to God and his heart or that of people? Does he buckle to man or rise in the Spirit. His choice. I’m just a yo-yo.

Confused? Join the crowd.


Becky said...

Indeed much to ponder is raised from this post. Perhaps will do so as I go to yoga tonight :D

joni said...

Thanks Becky,

I don't like confusion and meditation is my only solace in keeping things an even keel. Without prayer and meditation I'm sure I'd be in the quirky asylum. lol

An update: Beau has decided NOT to go to Omaha for another visit. He says he feels like it just isn't time, and well, I support him in anything he decides. I can't make the decisions for him and I won't pretend that I can. I'm the yo-yo, he's the plastic part that wraps around the string. :)

Thanks for reading. :)

Ro said...

Wow, so he's not gonna get more tests? I thought time was kind of the essence here? Obviously I'm going to support him in what he decides, I'm just curious.

joni said...

The man is getting such miscommunication from all sides that HE doesn't even know what he wants anymore. He will get the test, but he'll go to a doctor closer to us. First the lions club was paying for everything then he heard they are only paying for the operation. So the thousand dollar bills that we have are just sitting here?

On a different note, he knows and understands the seriousness of a cornea transplant. He has lived through it before. With his eczema, allergies, and asthma, the man is sitting in a pool of uncertainty.

Sure he wants to see again, but he would have liked to hear better odds. There is so much more to him just going in and getting one eye done. So much more.

Like I said, it's a roller coaster ride. *deep sigh*

Ro said...

Ooooh noooo about the bills. Ugh. What is up with all the miscommunication in the world?

Yeah I can't honestly say I'd go through all that with all the uncertainty. Roller coaster indeed.

joni said...

From my end, I'm just dangling by a thread, hence the yo-yo analogy? lol

I can not even pretend to know what it is like on his end of all of this.

Yup, roller coaster. Maybe after the holidays we'll have more clarity. :)

June said...

Who was it who said: confusion (and challenges) stands before the door of growth and discovery?

Like you said, it's an interesting week to consider "conflict."

I've been dealing with this all day for the day job....

joni said...

It must be that time of year. Confusion ~ conflict ~ uncertainty, it all walks hand in hand.