Writer...heal thyself

John 10: 9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.

***

Our writing is a healing tool and just as recently as today, I realized it even more from a comment on this here blog and another one, The Drums in the Deep

I know I’ve written about it before, I may have even hammered it into your brain that writing is a form of healing. To those of you writer’s who swear that they only write for the sheer joy of it, I’m wondering if you’re kidding yourselves?

I mean, maybe you had the perfect childhood, the best education handed to you, a loving mother and a father but in the inkwells of your mind, you might be writing because of the angst that it took to get you where you are today. I don’t know for certain, but I still believe writing, whether fiction or non-fiction is a release of inner energy that was subdued all these years.

If you didn’t get the words, whether imaginary or truth, out onto the page, you would feel like a caged bird waiting for the flight of a lifetime. Writing is carrying you on the wings and a prayer. Release it. It will do your heart and soul good.

I want to tell my story, all its pains and ugliness, but sometimes I think, “Will my family like what I write?” Of course not, who wants to read that a brother was allowed to molest his sisters and that, the father, being an alcoholic knew nothing and when he did find out, lived in denial. A mother and father who clung to one another, overlooked the welfare of their six kids, all in the name of love.

How about having six kids who all turned out to be alcoholics and all found healing in their own way, whether through A.A. through the healing of the Lord, or sadly through denial. Imagine kids going through life with no parental support at a baseball or football game. Imagine a brother becoming a kung- fu master and never having his mother there at the winning tournament. Imagine a writer being born but never set free.

In the story, do I lay blame? No. I give hope to those out there that might suffer also. I listen daily to my mother as she says, “I was a good mother. You kids always had food and your father worked every day of his life.”  This is true, but ask any one of us, if we ever really knew my father. He lived in the house, but he was a stranger until we grew up and his health issues made him see what he missed with us. Mother and dad will be married, I think it is 56 years now.

Mother always said this, “Your husband will be with you for life, your kids will grow up and leave home.” Yes mother, that is exactly what we did. Now as she sits in a retirement community with my father, she wonders, “Where have my kids gone? Why aren’t they visiting and calling me?”

Change my past? Never. I am who I am because these instances shaped and molded me to the woman I am today. I am a God praising, Jesus rejoicing woman who lives day by day grasping the truth of all that has gone on before.

In essence, my gift, my talent, was given to me to heal as I grow. I’m not perfectly healed, maybe never will be. But through the grace of God, I am SAVED.

Why not use the tool that you were blessed with and find your healing today. Maybe your family won’t like it, but your soul will. Which is more important? Is your family going into eternity with you? Think about it.