Friday, July 16, 2010

Changes II

Job 17:12 They change the night into day: the light is short because of darkness.
There are times in life, where life changes, the story changes, things happen and the conflict in your story arises. I remember the saying, “Life is stranger than fiction.” And now as I come to this leg in my journey I believe it.

I remember being a very hidden and isolated person about 8 years ago and for 20 years before that. My life consisted of waking, eating, sleeping and moving along while writing with a pen in my hand and a well worn out notebook on my lap. My how times have changed.

Some people don’t like change and some people embrace change. The new me has accepted the fact that without embracing change we leave ourselves vulnerable to all sorts of insecurities. We become introverted not allowing the extrovert release.

Is it in you or your character to be molded by change? Had I not accepted change so readily, I would be back in Baltimore doing for others, waiting for a new day, never being allowed the freedom of thinking on my own. I like thinking on my own. My freedom has allowed me that.

But with this freedom comes downfalls. I have to be open to the realization that downfalls are all a part of the story. How can we ever expect to have a happy ending if we don’t allow our characters the chance to grow through change and conflict. My life has been a whirlwind of change and conflict. Sure I was getting stagnate back home and I had a God slap moment where He woke me up and said, “Is this what I created you for?”

I have to be willing to listen to that little voice of God inside my head, whether it is a story’s direction, my life’s path, or knowledge of what and where things are supposed to be placed.

F2k has changed. I like the change and embrace the change, but it is outside the realm of the inner compulsion to leave everything right where it is, don’t move, kind of instinct. My story has changed, life is changing and as Summer swells, the world is moving fast and I need to hold on to something or someone.

Beau’s mom has bought a house. She’s moving in a couple of weeks and even at her age, she needs to embrace change and all that entails. He couldn’t see the house, but we went over to look at it anyway. He felt his way around and I could feel his heart skipping beats with each new thing he couldn’t see but wishes he could. He’s excited for her, don’t get me wrong, but he also aches knowing that this is not in his routine of the way things are, and were always supposed to be.

I’m sorry honey, but life is an ever changing ball of wax. Sometimes it melts away, sometimes it molds itself into solid lucidity, and sometimes you may even touch the fine fabric and appreciate all the changes the wax went through to get to this very moldable point in its existence.


M. SUE said...

Not embracing change means we mistakenly believe we are in control in the first place;
what a rude awakening when change occurs anyway, even without our permission!
M. Sue

joni said...

Great Sue,

I thought I was weird or something because although I like routine, I embrace change. :)

New change, new routine. :)

June said... - do all the really COOL words begin with "c"???


Way to go, Joni - and me to about routine versus change.