Closing Up Shop...Soon!

Gen 2: 2 “And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”

Some of you might or might not care but I am closing up my blog for a while. I have given you ample time to read my story, learn from all I’ve shown you and time to benefit from my hard work and research. I have not fiddled around once, I’ve given you my heart, my soul, and my truth. It’s time for me to rest, but not really rest.

Some will say for me to leave my blog open so others can learn from it, but honestly, if you’re not from my inner circle, you can read it when my story hits the bookshelves. If you’re from my inner circle then you should be fully aware of my story, my stance, and my advice. As for total strangers reading and gleaning from my words? They’ve had their chance and five to ten hits a day doesn’t warrant an open blog.

My Spiritually Family knows who they are! Daily or occasionally my link will slink up their newsfeed and they’ll click and read or roll and scroll. I’m okay with that because I am at peace with the timeframe of all that has happened, from diagnosis, to fracture, to healing to HOME. When all is said and done, it’s time to write and put together my story! I have nothing against self-publishing but I’d like to go a different route if possible. I don’t know, we’ll have to see where God leads me. And no, I'm not in a hurry, I'm going where God leads, not where man or the old selfish me wants to take me.

God’s not done with me by a longshot. He now wants me to focus on me; my writing, querying, my publication. As a writer you know the rules, my work cannot be anywhere on the net. Even as an unseen personal blog my works, my words, my strategy, and my end game are already out here for the world to see, as such, it is considered published work.  And yes, I’ve done my homework on that too, it cannot be already published and I am willing to give publisher's publishing rights to my work.

If you’re reading this now, know, you are my family, my friends, my supporters and followers who have watched me grow in writing and in life. Now I am going out into the fields of life to see what is out there waiting for me to blossom. Wish me Godspeed because I am once again, following where He is leading.

I will NOT cease to exist out here, I am going to become a somewhat reclusive writer who peeks out and checks on everyone from afar. You’re my inspiration, so I need to see what motivates you and keeps you going. My writing friends will KNOW where to find me, where this honing of my writing skill all began! 

My Spiritual Friends will spot a post or two from me on Facebook. I’m not going anywhere I’m just letting you know which way my writing is heading. If nothing pans out and I give up the ‘old let's get published’ game, I’ll let you know, but I think one thing you have all learned from me is, Joni never gives up!!! 

I wish I could thank you all by name but I can’t because each and every one of you hold a special place in my heart and life. If you click like on this post, I thank you, you’re the real people that keep me motivated every single day. If you like a post on my progress, you’re my growing Spiritual Family who really does care how I am doing. If you don’t like this post and a month down the line you wonder where my blog is, I’ll pray for you, you need more light in your life, I’ll pray! If you post a comment then delete it thinking I didn’t see it, I saw it, and now wonder. I pray for you.  God was out here performing a miracle and you missed the beauty of it all.

Maybe I’ll be inclined to start a NEW blog… a new adventure, whatever the case may be I’ll still be around, alive and the woman you’ve all grown to love. May you all find the truth I’ve shown you. God is alive and still in the business of seeing miracles through. May you all learn to understand HIS time and not selfishly of your own time. Patience IS a virtue. I’m living proof that the diagnosis of cancer is NOT a death sentence! Trust, faith, and patience! 

God Bless you and me on the journey of a lifetime! 

Angel Always... Godspeed! 

The Spirit of Christmas Gone Wrong (a poem)

1 Cor. 16:14 "Let all your things be done with charity."

Spirit of Christmas

Where has all the loving gone

in the hectic busy throng

of people scurried and buried

in the hustle and bustle gone wrong.

The spirit of Christ left behind

nowhere to find the peace

within my mind as all the souls

entwined by greed are blind.

Empty souls filled with hate  

it's clearly too late as your fate 

is sealed in a tomb with no room

for the saving grace to bloom

The spirit of Christmas shed

dead for the One who bled in 

His word we were led away 

from the dread that bears the dead

From where I stand my life is grand

the world is bland in no man's land

flames all fanned by the hate of man

it is with the love of Christ I stand.

The Spirit of Christmas will thrive

strive as I might to stay alive when

the peace surrounds me that I’ve 

been forced from man to survive.

I'm Not Worthy

Rev. 4:11 (KJV)  “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”

I’m not worthy.

How many times have you said THAT in your lifetime? I hear so many people say they don’t want to put faith in God or become a Christian because he ‘expects’ too much from them.

Too much? Let me ask you a question, a scenario if you will. 

Your mother calls you when you’re on your way home from a long days work.

“Can you pick me up a loaf of bread, honey?”

“But I’m heading home, I really want to get home.”

“I haven’t eaten all day and really would like to make a sandwich.”

“Oh, okay mom. See ya in a few.”

Was that expecting too much from you? Why because it’s out of your way? You’d do anything for your mother, right? Was she expecting too much in the way of asking you for something and you getting nothing in return?

Well think of God as your father, he’s asking for a few things. Like what? Oh, you know, He don’t want you to murder nobody, steal anything, gossip about everyone and everything (that’s a hard one), want what your neighbor or friend has, He doesn’t want you worshipping other God’s (think loving someone else more than you mother!) or worshipping those fake images of Him, oh and don’t curse Him. When you say ‘Jesus Christ Almighty’ let it be in honor of Him not to dishonor Him. Honor your MOTHER and your FATHER. < See, he wants you to respect, love and honor them as much as He wants your love honor and respect. And no cheating on your wife! 

There, is that too much to ask? It’s like your mother asking for a whole list of items instead of just a loaf of bread, eh? Well, let me tell you something that works for me. When I try to live by these ‘Ten Commandments’, I say try because you know what, they’re hard for everybody not just you, I get closer to Him and start to act differently too. It becomes easy and the whole personality shifts and things just start happening, in a good way that you can’t explain (I know, science will call it coincidence) but you start to FEEL differently.

Does adhering to these Ten Commandments make you worthy? Let me tell you the truth, you don’t have to do anything and you’re already worthy to Him. You feel unworthy because PEOPLE make you feel unworthy. God hasn’t done anything to make you feel unworthy, has He? Think about that a moment, you feel unworthy of having a relationship with Him because the people around you tell you that you need to do things a certain way to feel worthy.Try not listening to outer influences and let God tell you how to feel. God just wants you to love Him and others.

Mark 12:30-31 “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

People make Christianity out to be this big bad evil venture of wants. The church wants too much, people want too much, God wants too much. Wants, wants, wants and I see nothing about the NEEDS of mankind. Man needs a moral compass, man needs to live in a content state, we NEED to find respect for one another. God is not as hardline as people make Him out to be. 

People see God as the problem? I think that the person bringing God to you is the problem. They’re supposed to be on a mission to bring you the humbleness of the Lord but sometimes they make you feel unworthy by placing demands on you that you can’t seem to fulfill. It’s too much work so you give up on God altogether. 

Mega churches only get bigger because man, hundreds, and thousands, are supporting the Word these places feed them. Is it twisted? Distorted? To me, it is, only because I see a broken nation of poor and needy and these mega places are not finding that portion of society to help and in the end, many are turned away from Christianity because they feel unworthy. I don’t believe for one minute that the poor is funding these mega institutions.

Now I’ve heard some say, “I went to church once and they begged for money by putting some kind of offering basket in front of me. That was a big turn-off for me. I’m poor, they should be helping ME.”

It’s ironic, you walk into a church, right? You see lights, musical instruments? You know they have youth groups full of activities preparing children for the future. Do you assume that God Himself is keeping the electricity on? Do you also assume that the basket (which is called tithing, by the way) of money is kept for the greedy church fingers? The money is used for church NEEDS to keep the church ALIVE! Without your one dollar, or a penny, they will close and you’d have nowhere to attend church. The mega churches more than likely need a hundred thousand dollars a week to run and that is why the rich keep them funded, so they have a place to go on Sunday morning.

In a nutshell, to feel worthy, you need to feel the love of God run through your veins. However you bleed God out of your system is between you and Him. Sometimes I feel unworthy because I feel I have nothing to give Him. Then I sit down at the computer and fill this blog with the Word that flows from me like a running river. This is what I offer Him and this is what I lend to you. 

Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV)

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.

Death Is Never Easy

Pss. 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Death is never easy…

Death is never easy when it hits close to home. I mean, it’s hard any time when we see death surrounding us on the battlefield called earth. People dying everywhere your heart just aches.

Then someone like an online friend dies and though you never knew the person physically, you still feel like something is missing from your spirit. A part of your heart has a burn hole in it. Then a friend loses a mother or a father or sadly both parents the hole begins to grow. Online friends become your family over years and years of communication. They become a part of your everyday life, so to speak.

Now when a family member from your bloodline passes away, someone who you actually grew up with in your physical world, shared Christmas’ with and passed on the road from child to adult, the sting is even harder.

Yesterday, the 25^th, my aunt passed away. She was a jolly soul, tall with graying hair, always a   bright smile and a laugh to share. A little on the heavy side but she never let that hinder her from having a good life, attending church or being a social butterfly always fluttering around from place to place.

I can’t remember exactly when they found a tumor but I know she wanted to have back surgery and it was discovered. They had to remove the tumor before cutting into her back. They discovered the tumor, removed and chemo-therapy ensued. They found another tumor and more chemo, another then the same thing over and over for the past year.

She began losing the weight as the cancer was eating her away. That did not stop her smiles. When she had the strength she’d continue doing what she did. Attended church, visited with her grandchildren, hugged her children, and enjoyed the community of Locust Point and what bit of vibrancy that was left in her.

I remember in my younger years she always called me Noni. She had told me of how when I was really little just learning to speak, I had called her Aunt Nerl, for Aunt Gerald, so she would jokingly hug me and say, “There’s Noni.” She was never short on hugs and every time she saw me she’d say, “There’s Noni.” And give me one of the hardiest of hugs.

I don’t think any of my other aunts loved me like she did. Living over a thousand miles away for the past twelve years hasn’t allowed me many visits back home, but the one time I did go back to see my mother in the hospital, Aunt Nerl showed up and there she said again, “There’s Noni!”

She always told me that I reminded her of her. Always laughing, always seemingly happy, making others laugh and just a personality that mirrored hers. That made me pretty proud because no offense to my other aunts, they were not as jovial as we were/are. Since my Aunt Gerald is my father’s sister, I could see where my DNA had coursed.

Yesterday was a tough day for my mother and father. My dad almost seemed irate when he learned that my brother had found out about my aunts death on the computer. They are not of the computer age and think this gadget is a turnstile from hell. He doesn’t understand that facebook is used as a source of comfort when we need to be consoled. My cousins announced their mothers’ death to seek comfort not to degrade her in any way and I tried to let my parents know that.

Thumbprints are left on the soul. We have people in our lives that leave lasting prints never to be washed away. Whether these people are online friends or physical beings in your life, a print is made and you cling to the person via the memories and stories left on your soul.

We all mourn differently. This past week as my mother kept telling me to pray for my aunt, I told her I was praying for her peace, not her miraculous healing. While I am notably an optimist and believe in miracles, I knew when I heard that my aunt had cancer of the blood, it would not be long before I heard of her death. The realist in me accepted this portion of the journey that we must all take.

Last Saturday my aunt was given forty-eight hours to live. It was a miracle that by Monday morning she had a chance to sit up, eat some jell-o and meet with her kids one last time. By Sunday the 25^th, her needed organs ceased to function and she went on into eternal peace, just what I prayed for. Peace from the continued suffering. Peace to let go and meet the Lord head on. Peace to finally be free of these earthly restrictions.

Death is never easy for the living.

Pss. 61: 1-4  Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.
I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.

A 'DO NOT read' post

John 17:5 And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.
***

Just when you think someone cares...

Have you ever been writing until your fingers bled, anxiously anticipated sharing only to find that nobody really cares about your writing? Today I’m going to throw myself a pity party with hats, balloons, streamers and noisemakers, yeah especially noisemakers. You’re all invited to come, but no one will show, it’ll just be me, a woman and her thoughts.

I have this quote it goes something like, “Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself. ~Harlan Ellison, and really that is all we’re doing because nobody really cares what you write.

We can pretend, we can read what others write, we can comment out our gazoos, or not, but what it really boils down to is, nobody gives a flying fig. Everyone cares about himself or herself, and everything else is just there, a fly on the wall being looked at ready to swat it out of the way first chance you get.

I feel my writing has been put on hold while I take care of everyone else. I throw myself into situations of aiding and forget that sometimes I am the one who needs the assistance. Does anybody care? Does anyone know that this is what’s happening to me? No, of course not because they are busy obsessing and consuming themselves with themselves. Selfishly devouring all that they can muster while a withered leaf gets tossed under the snow mound. They are a sort of self mutilating cannibal, eating and drinking of whatever it is that THEY have to
offer/want/need and forget about the lil guy or in this case, gal.

Today is the day (okay I tell myself this all the time) that I am going to put a halt to my placating of others and tend to my own needs. I’m going to be a self mutilating cannibal and consume myself, with myself, remembering those that forgot me and forgetting those that pretended to remember me.
 
Sometimes it scares me to be a writer.
 
“From the earliest records of ancient civilizations to the most recent works produced by modernity, the history of literature bears witness to the creative power of the human mind. We have before us a vast library of stories, plays, and poetry to enjoy at our leisure, but in some cases this creativity came with a price – the life of the creator.” Ketterer Brandt
 
From Hemmingway to Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf  to John Kennedy Toole all authors who decided maybe writing just wasn’t in the cards for them. The list is long, the lives are many, writers write because they love to write, they die, because maybe they were faced with cannibals too.
***
From Lord of the Rings ~ J.R.R. Tolkien’s work

Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon and the orchards will be in blossom, and the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And the whistle in the summer barley in the Lower fields. And eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
 
Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. I'm naked in the dark. There's nothing--no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes.

Poetry Sunday~ It is Time...

Job 7: 1 Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? are not his days also like the days of an hireling?
***
It is time..

All in Gods time
is what I believe.
A time to love
a time to grieve.

When all at once
I begin to wonder.
whether I’ve gone
and put all asunder.

I care for those
without any hope.
My compassion extends
a welcoming rope.

My heart it bleeds
for the man without
the woman who needs
to get it all out.

Now is the time
for you to reap
is what He says
His promise he’ll keep.

When all at once
where one does not flee.
The veil is lifted
again he will see.

All in Gods time
this much I know.
A wondrous season
for all to grow!

Changes II

Job 17:12 They change the night into day: the light is short because of darkness.
***

There are times in life, where life changes, the story changes, things happen and the conflict in your story arises. I remember the saying, “Life is stranger than fiction.” And now as I come to this leg in my journey I believe it.

I remember being a very hidden and isolated person about 8 years ago and for 20 years before that. My life consisted of waking, eating, sleeping and moving along while writing with a pen in my hand and a well worn out notebook on my lap. My how times have changed.

Some people don’t like change and some people embrace change. The new me has accepted the fact that without embracing change we leave ourselves vulnerable to all sorts of insecurities. We become introverted not allowing the extrovert release.

Is it in you or your character to be molded by change? Had I not accepted change so readily, I would be back in Baltimore doing for others, waiting for a new day, never being allowed the freedom of thinking on my own. I like thinking on my own. My freedom has allowed me that.

But with this freedom comes downfalls. I have to be open to the realization that downfalls are all a part of the story. How can we ever expect to have a happy ending if we don’t allow our characters the chance to grow through change and conflict. My life has been a whirlwind of change and conflict. Sure I was getting stagnate back home and I had a God slap moment where He woke me up and said, “Is this what I created you for?”

I have to be willing to listen to that little voice of God inside my head, whether it is a story’s direction, my life’s path, or knowledge of what and where things are supposed to be placed.

F2k has changed. I like the change and embrace the change, but it is outside the realm of the inner compulsion to leave everything right where it is, don’t move, kind of instinct. My story has changed, life is changing and as Summer swells, the world is moving fast and I need to hold on to something or someone.

Beau’s mom has bought a house. She’s moving in a couple of weeks and even at her age, she needs to embrace change and all that entails. He couldn’t see the house, but we went over to look at it anyway. He felt his way around and I could feel his heart skipping beats with each new thing he couldn’t see but wishes he could. He’s excited for her, don’t get me wrong, but he also aches knowing that this is not in his routine of the way things are, and were always supposed to be.

I’m sorry honey, but life is an ever changing ball of wax. Sometimes it melts away, sometimes it molds itself into solid lucidity, and sometimes you may even touch the fine fabric and appreciate all the changes the wax went through to get to this very moldable point in its existence.

Poetry Sunday~ Destiny

DESTINY
by: Joni Zipp
***
The stars they tiptoe across the sky
emitting light for you and I
A twinkle here, a shimmer there
a pirouette without a care.

A bold ballet in the expanse
friction of light; nothing to chance.
How we met and came to be
was nothing short of destiny.

Our souls collided with light fair ease
a wayward laugh lost in the breeze.
Never knowing where we’d be led,
with years behind and many ahead.

Our love will dance just like the stars
within the cosmos across to Mars.
On the horizon and into the plains
springtime showers, the summers rains.

From here on out our love will grow
display a gorgeous wondrous show.
No need for eyes to dearly impart
all the warmth lain in my heart.

All the years we’ve shared together
through the wind and stormy weather.
For years to come our love will soar
Eternity lasts forever more.

On this day I duly declare
all my love beyond compare.
As rays of light have no end,
My Valentine, to you I send!
***

I.L.U.S.D.B.A.F.T.I.B.

***

Matt. 22:37 Jesus said unto him,thou shall love the Lord your God with all thy heart,and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.

In memory of September 11

September 11

I cradled my morning coffee,

my eyes they struggled to see,

a horrific terrible tragedy,

unfolding in front of me.

Today’s background clutter,

seemed to take a second stance,

scrambling cameras everywhere,

gave rise to a deeper glance.

A plane had hit a building,I

couldn't believe my eyes,

the horror of a gaping wound,

of such an enormous size.

By now I'm jolted wide awake,

something was just not right.

I witnessed the impact yet again,

on the twin without a fight.

Billowing smoke and fragments

scattered all around.

People frozen in a spot,

as objects fall to the ground.

Reports of other targets,

were coming into view.

My tear-filled eyes wondered

what this world was coming to.

In merely a matter of moments,

my blurry eyes did see,

heroes rushing into the scene,

as workers fought to flee.

The crumbling of a building,

number two not far behind.

The crashing of plane three and four

had stupefied my mind.

I couldn't feel my fingers;

a wounded numbness arose,

I sat in total disbelief,

from my head down to my toes.

Longing to be shaken,

from this nightmare that is real.

My body shrouded in emptiness,

as I buckled to a kneel.

I prayed for love-torn strangers,

whose faces were racked in fear.

I longed for welcome solace,

through the shedding of a tear.

The aroma of terror lingers,

as I'm trembling to the core.

I long for the taste of freedom,

which I sense will be no more.

A sleeping nation awakened,

by trumpets sounding in heaven.

Altering our lives forever,

on the day of September eleven.

Copyright© Joni Zipp