Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Dreamer...you're nothing but a dreamer...

"The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds. The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth." -Psalm 145:17-18
“They say that history repeats itself. Which part of your personal writing history would you like to repeat?” Asked by a facebook post on Writers Write.

Well I would repeat that dream I had of slowly, apprehensively walking up to a book signing, fearing a no-show and loads of people are waiting outside forming a line, to see me; awaiting my arrival. The cheering begins as I approach and I go on to sign hundreds of copies for my dearest of friends, my readers!

Then the regime slammed down the gavel and forced me to wake up. Seems the dictator didn’t want anyone dreaming on his reign!

Did you ever notice that there is always someone out there that finds controlling people a way of filling the emptiness in their lives? They live in lonely abodes, with minimal amenities, but an entire world of riches right at their fingertips, the keyboard.

In the windowed world they are drawn to exercise their power whether it demeans, hurts, maims or destroys a persons dream; they clench their fist in triumph knowing they maintain POWER and control your every move!

I’ve had my dream squelched more times than I can count but I continue to go on dreaming as a way of release and healing. While others might use writing as a way of controlling something outside themselves because really they can’t really dig their claws into the writing life. They figure squeezing the life out of a dreaming writer is the route to go. They appear to be aiding, but deep inside, their plan to thwart is obvious.

I tried to go back and rewrite a part of my writing dream, by starting where I began in the first place. Starting anew was a way for me to begin again; a fresh start. Begin from the very first page of where taking hold of my writing dream began.

Some people decided to rein in my dream and control it from where they stood, not even knowing it was my dream they were quieting. It was like putting a bit into the mouth of a wild and free horse. You might train it to be docile but you will never control the dream of being wild and free.

No, a dream is the essence of a human being. You feel it in your bones brewing under the skin until it finally bubbles and erupts into an explosion not even you the dreamer can control. You see, there is no disciplining that which you wish to control. The illusion may be there that you maintain control, but really, there is a wild stallion beneath that exterior just waiting to unleash her words.

While they try to bridle the dream, they can never limit the dreamer! The rope that binds may only hold a portion of that dreamer but it is the heart and soul that will win the sway of the leadership and break out to dream all the dreaming that the young horse desires.

As I gallop down the open beaches of the Assateague, I am a dreamer who has the wind blowing through my hair, and no one will hold this mare back from riding off into the sunset of her writing dreams.

She’s wild, she’s free…no one has the power over her, but her!

What part of my writing history would I like to rewrite? Not one thing, because without all the hurdles I’ve managed to get over, bullets that I’ve dodged, mud that was slung in my face, I would not be the person I am today!


Sara Comte said...

I love this post. Very poetic and honest. Thank you.

joni said...

Thanks Sara.
I do have a poetic heart and that is from which I always try to write. :)